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Jen's big mouth had gotten her in trouble countless times, both before and after joining the sisterhood. At least the punishments doled out by Mother Superior Valya and the Reverend Mothers were reasonable, she thought, compared to what used to await her for her insolence. And here no one told her to stop. They only told her that that mouth of hers would be her downfall someday and Jen knew they were right.
Jen was on a path she followed against all odds. And in the sisterhood, under Mother Superior Valya's watchful eyes, that was a trait to be admired. The sisterhood fed on determination, quick wit and unfaltering stubbornness.
But there was a reason why Jen was the way she was. Why she could tell a lie the same way she could recount what she had for breakfast in front of all of her fellow acolytes and none of them were the wiser. It was a compliment to her ability to lie but Jen tried not to think about the source of that so much - instead she thought that if that were the best Truthsayers the sisterhood could provide, then the whole Known Universe was doomed.
Only, that wasn't quite true, was it? There was one person who could tell, of course.
Lila.
Sweet little Lila, who watched but rarely spoke. Who probably saw more than even Jen was aware of, nevermind the rest of the school who seemed to take little notice of the young woman.
Lila moved through the stone halls with a familiarity and grace owed to having spent her whole life there. Jen couldn't imagine what that must've felt like, having never seen any part of the universe but the school. It left a sour taste on her tongue.
Lila was right, of course – the Reverend Mothers didn't always tell them, who their parents were, even if they knew. Reverend Mothers dealt in secrets, invested in them and brokered them until the time was just right to weaponize them. They didn't discern friend from foe when it came to their secrecy. The possible gain against a fellow Sister from a well-kept secret weighed higher than any adherence to the truth.
It was the night after their first Truthsaying test and sleep evaded Jen. She knew none of the other acolytes had the faintest idea about her past and her display after the test had sufficiently confused them. All except Lila. The woman hadn't said anything to her in that moment but her dark brown eyes had followed Jen for the rest of the day. She'd found it positively annoying to be watched the whole day and would've told anyone else off but found herself unwilling to do so with Lila. She'd tried meeting the other woman's gaze, challenging her, holding her gaze whenever she'd found Lila starring at her. Lila's gaze didn't waver, she held Jen's gaze until either of them was forced to look away.
It unnerved her that her usual tactics to keep people away didn't seem to work on the other woman. Quite the opposite.
Again Lila held her gaze, her chin resting on her pillow as she presented the inevitable. She knew Jen's game. Or, at least, had seen through her theatrics. The story had been a lie and her intent had been to deceive but there had been truth behind her words.
For a moment, Jen didn't know what to say. She felt disarmed in a way she hadn't in a long time. And by someone like Lila? For a moment Jen thought Lila would challenge her to the truth, would ask or guess what had happened. She didn't, which surprised Jen almost as much as the fact that Lila had read her like an open book. She changed the topic and Jen felt like she'd been spared. An uncomfortable feeling.
More and more, she realized, Lila had the upper hand against her. Jen found herself nervous under the other woman's gaze, powerless to her ability to pick Jen's lies from her truths. Stupid to be afraid of such a thing in a place like their school but against the other acolytes, Jen had been used to having the upper hand. She had to turn this game around, fast.
“Don't worry, doe eyes... one way or another, our past always finds us.” Lila's dark eyes narrowed at the comment, one side of her lip curling up in a feline smile. Warmth spread in Jen's stomach at the sight of it and she realized why she'd found Lila's attention throughout the day so distracting. It burned in her stomach like the liquor another sister had snuck in, once.
“Doe eyes?” the woman asked, shifting around on her pillow but never breaking eye-contact with Jen. “Do you give every sister a belittling nickname? Or just the ones that get under your skin?” Jen hated the swooping feeling in her abdomen, the flushing of her cheeks. Reflexively, she looked down at Lila's hand.
“I don't need to use truthsense,” Lila said, the side of her lip tugging further upwards. Jen wanted to say something but her usual snark died on her tongue. No one had ever wiped the floor with her like this, not verbally or physically. Never. And that Lila did it with such a quiet enjoyment made it so much worse. Indeed, she made Jen's skin crawl.
“Be careful,” Lila's eyes widened when Jen had found her voice again. A muscle in her jaw twitched. “I'm not sure you'll like what you find under my skin.” Somewhere, a couple of beds over, a sister turned in her sleep with a soft sigh. Then- Lila laughed, quietly, like this was their own little private amusement. Like Jen had told a joke only meant for her ears.
Jen followed Lila with her eyes as she got up from her bed and came over to Jen's. There was a moment where neither of them moved. Lila stood at the side of her bed, gaze never leaving Jen's. It seemed she'd found there what she'd been looking for as she lied down next to Jen, who didn't scoot over to make room. They lay pressed against each other's side, both on their stomachs.
“I don't remember inviting you into my bed,” Jen said, voice barely above a whisper. Still, Lila's gaze rested on hers and she found she had to admit it still unnerved her to no end.
“Tell me to leave, then,” the smaller woman said, letting her gaze drop from Jen's eyes to her lips for a fraction of a second. So quickly, in fact, that had Jen been a little more slow or stupid on the uptake, she would've dismissed it.
“Oh, doe eyes, do you even know what you're doing?” And Jen made sure to hold Lila's gaze, to give her not a single inch of ground. It had been meant to shake the other woman's confidence, to make her doubt herself and scare her back into her own bed. Far away from Jen and the heat in her stomach.
Lila was confident, no doubt, but it brought Jen more than a little satisfaction to see that no, she didn't quite know what she was doing. When she'd leaned in to kiss Jen, the angle was awkward because they were lying beside each other and their shoulders got in the way. After a few seconds of shuffling and straining to move up higher on the bed for a better vantage point from Lila, the older woman took pity and moved onto her side. Jen moved her head back a little in the process, away from the kiss, to get a look at Lila. She didn't need her truthsense to hear the quickened, shallow breaths or to see the way Lila looked at her, unguarded and hungry.