Archive of Our Own

The night sky was cloudless, darkness sprinkled with silvery stars shyly twinkling did wonders to calm Ice’s racing mind. The carrier at night would be much more calm and quiet, the only people wandering around would be those on a fire watch but he managed to find an isolated place looking out to the endless ocean around him. It was one of those nights that he wasn’t able to sleep peacefully without waking up sweating and cursing under his breath. The thing is, Ice got used to having nightmares, they appeared every so often they didn’t bother him anymore. It was tiring, sure, but it was nothing new for Tom Kazansky whose facade was of The Iceman - a man with no feelings, only calculated moves.  

Leaning on a railing he was able to shift focus to his surroundings, the whooshing of water hitting the metal walls of a carrier, the wind caressing his face while gently brushing through his blond hair and the background noise of generators that kept them alive out in the ocean. 

With a heavy sigh Ice took out a cigarette from his pocket and played with it rolling it between his fingers like he would do it with a pen. He started smoking at a young age, like many other kids but unlike them he used to hope it would at some point be the reason for his inevitable death. It was a crazy thought for a teenager who was supposed to party and probably spend a lot of time with girls, but he lived a crazy life at home.

Wincing at the thought, Ice took out his favorite lighter and finally lit up a cigarette he kept playing with.

The sharp smoke filling his lungs helped him relax and he let himself close his eyes just to stretch this moment a bit longer.

Though it managed to numb his senses he could still hear someone trotting his way. Either he was a great observer or the years of service had gotten to him because he was able to recognize who was approaching just by listening to the distinctive sound their footsteps made.

Therefore it wasn't a surprise when Pete Mitchell spoke up before leaning on a railing next to his wingman.

“What are you doing here this late?” was a simple question but it made Ice feel warm for some unknown reason. The blond man opened his eyes and inhaled more smoke before glancing at the small frame next to him.

Maverick had to wake up recently judging by his untamed hair and dark circles under his eyes. A normal person would think that the man looked like a mess, but Ice found him endearing. Over time the rivalry between them had turned into something more of a playful, friendly banter and everyone seemed to notice the shift of things between them. During this deployment and the few weeks the two had been stationed together they grew fond of each other, Ice would even admit that he enjoyed flying alongside the little prick. 

Slider thought that their rivalry was just flirting and in reality Ice had developed a huge crush since he first laid his eyes on Pete Mitchell. 

Technically, he wasn’t wrong, but who was Ice to admit it out loud in the first place?

“I could ask you the same thing” he finally answered, flicking the cigarette to the ocean. He knew Mav wanted to say something, after all the brunet disapproved of Ice's smoking habit, but for once it seemed like he decided to shut his mouth.

It was a nice moment.

“I couldn't sleep”

Ice hummed and looked up to the sky. It was still dark, with some clouds now covering the beautiful stars.

He wondered how they would reflect in Mav’s green eyes. 

“That makes two of us” he answered instead of lingering on the thought of Mav's eyes. 

The smaller man shuffled closer, almost brushing his arm, but being careful with keeping his distance. 

That’s one thing Ice had noticed recently, the small touches lingering longer than they should and the looks they gave each other when both thought the other wasn’t looking. It was all so familiar and comforting but they had to keep their distance, they couldn’t risk the other’s career over something dumb like this.

At least Ice hoped it would stay dumb, nothing more than the silly “crush” Slider kept mentioning jokingly, but over time he got worried it would start getting out of hand.

Ice was gay and there was no point in denying it now, he was an adult and he knew what he was getting into when signing up for the work in the Navy. Promising himself to keep his private life to himself he quickly managed to gain respect among his supervisors and other aviator friends by simply putting on the mask of Iceman. The only people that knew of his preferences were Slider and Goose and they supported him throughout the Academy, not looking at him like he was worse than them.

But then there came Maverick, someone so dangerous Ice was willing to risk everything to just let things happen. It was a scary thought and whenever it came up it brought some rather painful memories so the best thing he could do was to push those feelings and thoughts down where nobody could ever find them.

“Ice? Are you alright?” 

The blond turned his head to look at the man next to him. Mav’s face showed concern, his eyebrows were furrowed and lips curled downwards. It was obvious he spoke earlier when Ice was lost in thought, but the worry visible in those emerald eyes was enough to make something within Tom turn.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” 

Maverick seemed to study his face for a bit, he looked worried and that made Ice uncomfortable to say the least. He couldn’t explain it in a way that made sense to him but he wanted to keep Mav as happy as he could. Especially after Goose’s tragic death. It shocked everyone, but Maverick felt guilty about the accident which Ice found surprising, after all it was his jet wash that caused all of this.

“I asked if you had a nightmare” Mav spoke calmly, a small understanding smile crept on his face and Ice had to look away for a second. That damn smile was enough to blind someone.

“Maybe”  was not a perfectly calculated response but it was the most eloquent thing Ice's mind could spew out with Mav looking at him. “Did I wake you up?”

Mav shook his head and looked out to the ocean and Ice followed his gaze. Some of the stars faded under new clouds but one could still see their gentle twinkling. It was almost as calming as soaring through the skies with his F-14.

“I wasn't sleeping and I heard you shifting on your bed” Mav answered as gently as ever. Ice glanced at him looking at the sky. Mav’s face was almost invisible in the dark, but the little light they got from the carrier helped with highlighting his features. He was beautiful.

“Then I watched you storm out of the room and when you didn't come back I got worried” the brunet continued unaware of his wingman's scandalous thoughts about him.

“It's just a nightmare, we all get them” Ice answered and looked as Mav turned his head to look at him. The brunet’s gaze softened and he leaned with his elbows on a railing still keeping an eye on Ice. 

He was sure Mav had many nightmares after Goose’s death. There were a few times when Ice found his wingman wandering around at night, usually he spent that time with him. Not trying to push into talking about the dreams, he knew what they were about.

He realized Mav was doing the same thing for him right now. 

“The two of us get them too often” Mav chuckled and the noise was a pleasant surprise, it was soft and light. A nice contrast to their conversation. “It’s either you or me losing sleep over something weird”

Ice snorted and shook his head.

“I think it’s common among naval aviators like us. You fly high but also fall, you fight but you lose friends. I reckon we’re doomed” as he answered he took out his lighter and lit it. The flame danced gracefully in the wind leaning from left to right. Ice glanced at Mav’s face now glowing from the gentle light he provided, his emerald green eyes reflected the flame and it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “And in the end we crash and burn”

Ice extinguished the fire and put the lighter in his pocket before turning to face his wingman, leaning his hip on the railing he was able to see him properly. Maverick was still holding up on a railing but his gaze was locked on Ice, it was obvious he was thinking which in itself was a rare sight but nonetheless a welcome one.

“But you weren’t dreaming about combat” Mav admitted, his eyes shone and Ice couldn’t look away. “I heard you talking in your sleep”

“I- You did?”

“Yes, I told you I wasn’t sleeping”

Mav looked sheepish, like he discovered something he wasn’t supposed to. It was something Ice wasn’t used to seeing. Maverick was always confident, proud and full of energy. Now, he was tired, as he probably hadn’t slept at all tonight, quiet and unsure. It was…unusual for them to even talk about things like that and Ice had quite an idea where it was heading. 

But for the first time in many years he wasn’t afraid of speaking about his past, he wanted to pour his heart out, to show Maverick how much he trusted him not only when they were in the air but also on the ground. 

Ice wasn’t the best at consoling people, but all he needed was for Mav to realize he doesn’t mind talking with him. After hesitating a little he settled on putting his hand on the latter’s back. He heard Maverick’s breath hitch and felt him tense up under his touch. Ice wanted to retreat his hand but before he could do it Mav relaxed again, he even shuffled a bit closer so he was almost being embraced by the taller man. 

“What have you heard?” Ice asked quietly. They were so close, if they wanted it would be so easy to turn and embrace each other. But they weren’t ready for that yet.

“You spoke another language, you mixed it with English but I could tell you weren’t talking about…you know our work”

Ice hummed and looked up at the sky before looking at the man before him. 

“I have Polish roots, I learned the language from my grandparents but I can’t speak fluently now.”

“Huh I had no idea”

Maverick’s eyes were full of curiosity now, it seemed he wasn’t so unsure of himself now. That was good.

“I mean my surname isn’t really american is it” he answered with a sly smile and Mav laughed. He loved hearing his laugh, especially when he was the one causing it. “Unfortunately I don’t remember anything I said while sleeping so I can’t help you with translation…But what I do remember is my dream”

Maverick turned and leaned his hip on the railing mimicking his wingman. Ice’s hand retreated instinctively from his back and he missed the warmth but he couldn’t bring himself to push their boundaries. Sometimes he wished he was as brave as Mav.

“It was my father” he continued, trying to ignore the sharp pain of many memories now flooding his brain. Some of them he wasn’t ready to share. “He’s just…an asshole at the very least. Always demanding the best from me and punishing any misbehavior”

Ice winced and looked away, there was no turning back now. 

“You know you don’t have to tell me anything”

“But I want to” 

They looked at each other, eyes reading faces, expressions, looking for something. For a second Ice’s gaze dropped to Mav’s lips and he felt the unbearable urge to surge forward and kiss him dumb. He swallowed a lump in his throat and looked up to meet the green eyes, it seemed Maverick was also looking at his lips.

He had to focus.

“I-I trust you, I want to be honest with you Mav. You’re my wingman, my friend” 

Maverick’s breath hitched and he nodded, it was hard to see but Ice could swear he saw his cheeks blush a bit. He wished it wasn’t as dark, he had to be adorable this way.

“There’s so much I need to tell you. So much you don’t know about me”

“Like why do you always act like you have a stick up your ass?”

Ice laughed, Maverick’s inability to be serious for more than five minutes was refreshing. Soon they were both laughing, trying their best to not be too loud. They ended up covering their faces with their hands and chuckling for a little bit longer.

“I told you I had to be perfect, I guess I haven’t learned to relax” Ice finally answered, shrugging and soon Mav calmed down enough to look at him with that smirk of his. This always meant trouble.

“I could find a few ways to make you relax”

“Mav, this is a serious moment, please don’t ruin it”

His wingman chuckled again but nodded, a sign that he would behave. At least for now.

“So…The dream” Ice said.

“The dream” Mav repeated, serious again.

Ice took a deep breath. How could he phrase it so he wouldn’t sound pathetic and weak? He started shifting and fidgeting with his hands, a habit he had since he could remember.

He fought the urge to light another cigarette, this wouldn’t help him now. 

“The usual” he shrugged again but heard his voice break. He cleared his throat before continuing. “He was yelling, not hitting me, but yelling. I don’t really know why but he didn’t need a reason, he’d always find excuses to get angry at me”

Ice sighed and Mav reached out and put his hand on blond’s arm, stroking it in a comforting way. It felt nice, but it also fed Ice’s delusions about the man.

“I remember when I realized I didn’t want a traditional family, he expected me to have a wife and kids. I don’t think I will ever be able to tell him that…Even as an adult”

Mav’s brows furrowed and he slightly tilted his head to look at him better. 

Ice knew what he was about to ask, his biggest secret was about to be out in the air.

“And why is that?” Mav asked softly, his hand stilled and Ice turned his head to look away. There was no way he could look his wingman in the eye while confessing.

“I- I’m not” he started, not really sure how to pick out words. “I’m gay, Mav”

He doesn’t know what he expected but the quiet laugh that escaped Maverick was not it. He turned his head to look at him and Mav was smiling, almost smirking but he seemed…genuine. He wasn’t mocking or making fun of him, he understood him this whole time.

“I knew it!” the brunet exclaimed and Ice looked at him confused.

“How did you…?”

“Oh please, I am bisexual” Mav shrugged and sent him one of his brightest smiles. It made Ice’s insides melt. “My gay radar is working well”

“What the fuck is a gay radar?”

“Oh you know” Mav’s smile turned into a devious smirk and Ice wanted to kiss it from his face. “When you feel someone is queer. I am blessed with it”

Ice shook his head and smiled, this man will be the death of him. He sure will, he hoped he could share whatever time he had in this world with Mav. Ice would gladly risk his career for this stupid little bastard, for his idiotic smirks, for his laughs and for that beautiful, handsome face.

For the first time he wasn’t scared when the tempting thought of spending the rest of their lives together crossed his mind. 

It wasn’t a silly crush anymore. Ice was in love with Maverick of all the damn people on Earth.

Suddenly his mind became quiet.

“I want to kiss you” he blurted, staring at Mav’s lips like an idiot he became. He stopped caring that he’d make a fool out of himself if Maverick said no.

“Then what are you waiting for, Ice-man?” Maverick answered so typically Mav-like and yet so genuine Ice wanted to cry. 

Of course he wouldn’t do that so he just grabbed the smaller man’s waist with one hand and pulled him closer. With his other hand he cradled Maverick’s face and tilted it before joining their lips.

Kissing Pete Mitchell was even more addicting than flying, his lips were chapped but softer than they looked, perfectly shaped and apparently very eager as brunet was quick to deepen their soft kiss.
Ice groaned when Mav’s hands found their way in his hair, he grabbed his hips with both his hands, joining their bodies together.

Their sweet kiss quickly turned into a full blown make out session, they were both panting for air but neither of them wanted to stop. It took them too long to get to this moment, they wanted to get the most out of it while they could.

Eventually Ice had to break the kiss as he was getting lightheaded. He pressed his forehead against Mavericks’ and panted, trying to catch his breath.

He felt more than heard Mav chuckle softly.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, cradling the smaller man’s face and looking him in the eyes.

“It’s just… I melted the Ice”

“Oh you certainly did buddy”

Ice chuckled and Mav joined him. 

The sky was painted with hues of light blue and deep orange, some of the clouds had dissipated uncovering a few lonely stars gleaming dimly. 

He held Maverick in his arms, taking in the warmth radiating off his small frame. They were silent, just enjoying the moment, wondering what would come up next for them

Ice couldn’t stop the new range of emotions, as they stood there watching the sky turn pale and the start of a new day. He realized it would also be the start of something new between them.

Whatever it turns into, he will happily figure it out with his wingman, friend and hopefully soon, his partner .

Ice leaned and kissed Mav’s forehead, just a gentle press of lips to his skin. He was rewarded with a small sigh and a man melting in his arms.

Having nightmares doesn’t seem so bad when you have someone to hold you.