Chapter Text
She was fine, everything was fine.
Alice’s hands shook as she traced out the image on the data pad beneath her. It had taken her hours of franticly working between shifts and cutting her sleep schedule to accomplish. Every detail had to be perfected, every line and arc exactly to the specifications lest it all fall apart. The marker was a beautiful thing, a towering obelisk against the backdrop of Aegis VII, its twisting spirals reaching towards the heavens. But she knew otherwise, was fully aware of its true purpose and the horrors it could unleash upon them all. But she just couldn’t stop herself, couldn’t resist the itching urge that overcame her whenever her mind drifted too far. This was the best solution she could afford, jotting down whatever mad scribblings came to her.
It was certainly better than her previous strategy of ignoring it until it overtook her. She could still recall one occasion of blinking and finding herself painting the walls of the ship with her own blood. Another incident had her scraping alien calculations and equations into the wall of the mining crew deck until her knife snapped in two. It was a miracle no one had traced the graffiti back to her yet, but she refused to take any more chances.
A sudden clamor brought her out of her thoughts, jolting as the tram finally pulled into the mining station. She rubbed her eyes, sluggishly stepping on and finding the compartment empty. Not surprising, given how late her shift had run. She selected the crew deck as her destination, shakily lowering herself to sit on one of the benches as the tram lurched to a start. The soothing rhythm of the tracks was almost enough to lull her to sleep, slowly relaxing as her body unwound. She was jolted back to the waking world as the tram suddenly came to a screeching stop, head knocking against the metal wall of the tram. She hissed, clutching the area in question, feeling a bruise already beginning to form just above her eye. She grimaced as she saw the tram had stopped early at the flight deck to let another group onboard. The grimace quickly turned to a scowl as she saw exactly who had decided to join her.
There were only three people who stepped aboard, two engineers and a security officer, but she had the misfortune of recognizing all of them. The first two she had stumbled upon during her attempts to categorize every Unitologist on the ship. The man, Harold Reet, was an avid follower and had a history of generous donations to the church. It was enough for him to be integrated into the first layer of the church’s “inner circle”, a fact he wasn’t afraid to throw around. The woman, Keila Koseff, was more of a small-time follower who regularly attended sermons. Both engineers were wearing their RIGs, metal worn and dirty from whatever they had previously been occupied with.
The security officer she had met in person on multiple occasions. Abigale Hendrick, an avid follower of Unitology who had secured a respectable position within the security forces aboard the USG Ishimura. Her family was old money with deep ties to the church. Additional donations ensured she was able to enter the second layer of the church’s inner circle as of a few months ago. They had initially encountered one another during a celebratory event to honor their departure for Aegis VII. By the halfway point of the party Alice had enough drinks in her to try hitting on the woman. Surprisingly it had worked, up until she opened her dumb mouth and started talking shit about religion.
It had not ended well. Not only did most of the crew learn about her deep-seated hatred for Unitology, but she had babbled enough nonsense about the ship being infested by flesh monsters to be unanimously considered a loon. She had dealt with the fallout ever since, from officials “mysteriously” forgetting to pay her overtime to her coworkers not trusting her around machinery. She had made a few friends around the fringes, a couple of oddballs here and there, but for the most part she was alone. Not that she necessarily minded. The upside of not knowing anyone well was that you didn’t care when they were eventually consumed for biomass.
The small cluster hadn’t noticed her yet, the doors sliding shut once more as the tram continued onwards to the crew deck. She made herself as small as possible, flicking through her data pad and opening the first file she could find. An informational spreadsheet popped up, concealing the artwork beneath, and she let out a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, that was just when Harold decided to turn around, immediately catching a glimpse of her and nudging the two others standing beside him. Their idle chatter cut off as they similarly recognized her, postures tensing and expressions shifting to something cold. They stared at one another, the silence stretching until Abigale took a step forwards, her former grimace replaced with a sharp smile.
“Hey there little cuckoo,” she crooned, voice sickeningly sweet. Alice winced at the nickname, one that had been assigned shortly after her debacle. “Your out late, aren’t you? I thought your shift ended a few hours ago.” It had, but the crew that usually shut everything down was short half a dozen people, and she was one of the lucky few selected to assist them. “I’m sure you have a good reason for it, though.” Alice was too tired for this, blearily blinking as she struggled to find the appropriate response.
“I had to help with the clean-up.” She managed to get out, voice cracking halfway through her sentence. “It took a while.” It was the best she could come up with on the spot, but they both knew it didn’t sound the least bit convincing. Abigale went so far as to raise her eyebrow, as if surprised at the blatant boldness.
“As convincing as that sounds, I’ll need to check your logs to ensure the accuracy of such a statement. Entering restricted areas after hours is a class three offense. You don’t want to get fined, do you?” She held out her hand, clearly expecting Alice to pass the data pad over. But she couldn’t, not when the only thing between her compulsory madness and prying eyes was a stupid spreadsheet. Instead, in a move of absolute stupidity, she clutched it closer to her chest, glaring at the senor security officer with as much willpower as she could muster.
“It’s fine,” she spat out in reply. “I’ve already logged my hours in the central database. If something happens to be off, I’ll take the fine without complaint.” That was evidently the wrong thing to say, Abigale’s smile growing strained. Even the two engineers looked at her as if she was insane, or at least more so than they had initially anticipated.
“I’m afraid I must insist.” Abigale took another step closer, one hand loosely trailing down to her weapon holster. Alice knew the other woman would probably stun her if things got out of hand, but the senor officer could always make the claim that lethal force had been necessary. “If you’ve done nothing wrong, then there shouldn’t be anything to hide. Given your history, such measures are necessary to ensure the safety and security of the ship and its crew.”
“My history?” she asked disbelievingly, unconsciously letting out a small snort. “What, you mean our little spat during departure? I didn’t think you would take my opinions so personally, ma’am.” The enjoyment at seeing the small, frustrated flush on the others woman’s face was short lived. Abigale took a steading breath, inhaling deeply before pulling out her own data pad and scrolling through it.
“On the contrary little cuckoo, your file labels you as a potential risk. There have been multiple recorded instances of you displaying extreme religious prejudice and delusional episodes. Additionally, several complaints have been forwarded regarding failure to properly handle industrial equipment, irritability, and emotional instability.” Alice curled up further at the reminder, fighting the urge to cry as the fight began to trickle out of her. She was running on fumes, struggling to stay sane amidst the coming horror, and now every one of her past mistakes was being dredged up and put on display. “Oh, did that upset you? My apologies. Nevertheless, please hand over your data pad before I’m forced to charge you for refusing to comply with standard security protocols.”
The moment her grip loosened the tablet was plucked out of her hands, Abigale giving a small hum as she began to sort through the appropriate work logs. “There, that wasn’t so hard, now was it?” Alice refused to respond, turning away as her eyes began to water. Harold huffed out a small chuckle from the other end of the compartment, clearly amused at the exchange. Keila shuffled awkwardly beside him, the engineer appearing somewhat uncomfortable with what could be easily considered an abuse of authority. “Unfortunately, these additional hours have been logged as volunteer work rather than assigned overtime. It’s possible you may not receive full payment as a result, so try to be more careful next time.”
Of course they had. Alice couldn’t even blame one of her superiors for mislabeling the files, she had been the one to fill out the appropriate paperwork. She wasn’t surprised a small detail like that had slipped by her. In most cases it would be a simple matter to file an additional correction for full payment. In her case, however, it was up to chance whether anyone would bother to make the change in time for her to receive full benefits. It wasn’t as if she needed the additional funds, but it would certainly be nice to have them on hand. She furiously wiped away the stray tear that ran down her cheek, biting her lip as nails dug into her palms. Abigale finally closed the work logs, moving to hand the data pad back until her eyes caught on the spreadsheet beneath.
“Data analysis? Is that what you’ve been doing in your spare time? Honestly Alice, you’re not an engineer, and this kind of work is above your pay grade. I don’t even want to know why you’re so dead set on keeping track of cargo, but rest assured we have people who are actually paid to do this kind of thing.” Is that what the spreadsheet had on it? Alice had made so many at this point she could barely keep track. “Actually, how many of these do you have? Have you been making them since departure?” Alice could only watch in horror as Abigale swiped up, removing the spreadsheet as she moved to open another file. “Do you really have that much free time on your…” The mockery trailed off as she caught sight of the image beneath.
The marker was a contested subject when it came to scholars outside of Unitology. A large majority of them were convinced it didn’t exist to begin with, merely a figurehead utilized to propagate the spread of one of the largest religions in modern day history. The few who were thoroughly convinced of its existence didn’t have much information beyond what little was publicly available. Unitology had been the ones to popularize the familiar symbol of the marker, a simplistic figure resembling the number eight. Any artwork she had found was more of a creative interpretation than anything close to resembling the real deal. She doubted even within the rank of Unitology itself there was much to work off, perhaps a few rough figures within the upper bounds of their inner circle.
She hadn’t been able to stop until it looked as realistic as possible. She had seen the marker, albeit from the perspective of a video game, and had done her best to capture its appearance. The twisting spires were geometrically perfect, the base covered in carefully carved symbols that wound their way across the smooth polished rock. She had even gone so far as to include the perspective on the surface of Aegis VII following the planet crack. The gaping chasm from where a chunk of the planet had been pulled spanned out behind the marker, gravity tethers in place to hold up the massive continent sized rock. The setting sun shone in the distance between whirlwinds of dust and distant mountains, twisted flesh slowly consuming the nearby metal walkways and buildings. The cherry on top was the small figure at the base of the idol, a miniature Issac Clark gazing up at the marker as it settled onto the pedestal beneath.
The problem was the planet crack of Aegis VII hadn’t happened yet. They had only arrived in the local solar system a few days ago, still currently on route to the planet. No one on the ship had so much as laid eyes upon the prospecting sight, the colony, or the marker itself. Abigale remained frozen in place, slowly reaching her hand to brush against the image, as if it would disappear should she look away. The silence was becoming awkward, the two engineers behind her beginning to grow concerned. The tram slowly slid to a stop, doors shuttering open as they finally reached the crew deck. Alice quickly shot to her feet, forcefully grabbing her data pad back and moving to exit the compartment.
“I appreciate your commitment to ensuring the safety and security of those aboard, ma’am. If you’ll excuse me, I believe I will retire for the night,” she quickly rushed out, stumbling over her own feet as she glanced towards the nearby doorway leading towards the individual bunks. Abigale blinked, seemingly coming back to herself, before her words landed home and she startled, eyes wide as she quickly rushed to catch up with the shorter woman.
“Wait!” she exclaimed frantically, grabbing Alice’s wrist and pulling her back. “W-What was that? I…It looked like… it…” She paused, trying to collect herself. “I-I thought you hated Unitology.”
“I do,” Alice snapped, feeling something bitter bubble up inside her. What was wrong with these people? Didn’t they have better things to do than pester her? “I thought I had made that clear enough already. What is your problem anyways? Why does it even matter to you?” Abigale gave a short, disbelieving laugh that bordered on hysterical.
“Because the same person who told me Unitology was a sociopathic cult of inbred morons also has the most detailed depiction of the marker I’ve ever seen!” Abigale threw her hands up, releasing her wrist, but Alice found herself unable to move away. “What the hell am I supposed to think? I-I had to spend years proving myself before I even got a glimpse of the marker, and you’re just walking around with that? It doesn’t make any sense!” Alice was surprised to see the security officer’s eyes watering, sniffling as she hurriedly wiped her face with the end of her sleeve. “How is that supposed to be fair? You’re nobody, some miner from a backwater colony! What makes you so special?” Any pity that had been building up shriveled away in an instant, and Alice felt something crack deep inside of her.
“Special?” She laughed, dragging a hand down her face as she giggled between breaths. “Are you kidding me? You think this makes me special?” She was having trouble breathing, tears sliding down her cheeks as she gasped and wheezed. “Is it special that I spend every other night being woken up by nightmares of that damned marker? Is it special that I can’t stop myself from painting symbols on the walls with my own blood? Is it special that half the time I look in the mirror I see a corpse staring back at me?” Her hands moved to the side of her arms, nails digging in and leaving long red marks behind. “I’m insane! I’ve been reborn in a world that shouldn’t exist. I can remember my own death. I can see the future and it’s nothing but agony and suffering!” She finally managed to wipe away enough tears to see properly, smiling cruelly at a shell-shocked Abigale.
“And you want to know the best part? I can’t even change anything!” Her laughter was quickly transforming into ugly sobs. “I’ve tried! I left my family behind for this stupid voyage because it was the best idea I could come up with. But I’m terrified, because I know no matter how hard I struggle I’m nothing compared to the horrors out there. For all I know they’ve already gotten into my head! If fucking Issac Clark couldn’t manage to beat them, what possible chance do I have?” With that, she completely fell apart, hiccupping between sobs and whispered apologies. She hardly noticed when arms hesitantly wrapped around her, soft voices muttering to each other as she was gently led through a maze of rooms and hallways. She was drifting, her world a blurry display of shapes and colors she couldn’t be bothered to distinguish.
She only started coming back to herself when a straw was placed on her lips, hesitantly drinking as water soothed her sore throat. She was shivering, body trembling uncontrollably even as a blanket was gently draped around her shoulders. Abigale knelt before her, eyes shining with an indescribable sadness and pity. Alice didn’t want her pity, wanted to tell her exactly where she could place her misguided guilt. What came out instead was another choked sob, her body leaning forwards unconsciously to slump against the security officer. A hand moved to her back and rubbed small circles, soothing words muttered into her ears as she was lifted off her feet and placed down on a soft mattress.
More blankets were pulled over her as she continued shivering, fingers gripping the soft fabric so tightly her knuckles turned white. Abigale hesitantly settled beside her, seated at the edge of the bed and watching her with concern. Alice couldn’t bring herself to care that this was her mortal enemy, desperate for someone to latch onto. She burrowed herself into the woman’s side, wrapping arms around her torso as she leeched away any warmth she could. A hand settled on top of her head, gently combing through her hair as she finally settled with a content sigh. “Still hate you…” she muttered sleepily, eyes drooping as she struggled to stay awake. “But I’m sorry too. You don’t deserve it…” She could only imagine what Abigale’s original fate had been. Her biomass consumed, utilized to help grow an army of necromorphs, perhaps integrated into the Leviathan or Hive Mind.
“It’s alright,” was the small whisper she received in turn. “I didn’t know just how much your gift was hurting you. Is that why you’re afraid of us? Do we remind you of everything you wish you could forget?” She grumbled as the hand pulled away from her hair, both arms instead looping around her to return the makeshift hug. “I meant it when I said you were special. It must have been so lonely bearing such a burden all by yourself.” Alice vaguely mumbled in agreement, only processing half the words that were being spoken to her. “But you don’t have to bear it alone anymore. We can help you. Doesn’t that sound nice?” Another murmured agreement, eyes now fully closed as she felt herself being rocked back and forth. “I thought so. You’ll be safe with us, little cuckoo, I promise.”
She dreamed she was flying. The stars were beneath her, a twisting, dazzling display of lights as she ducked and soared among the cosmos. She had never felt so free, so unburdened, so content as she did now. It was exhilarating, and she wanted it to last forever, endlessly exploring the universe and the wonders it held. There were others by her side, their gentle calls echoing across the stars as they frolicked and danced. But something was missing, something very important at the edge of her awareness. She changed course, dropping down and circling one of the many lights beneath her. As she grew closer the light became brighter, the star transforming into a brilliant sun that tickled pleasantly against her skin. She drank from it, energy welling within her before she turned and continued her journey.
She circled the red rock, listening to the distant humming upon its surface. Such a pretty melody, but one that remained unheard to any ears but her own. There was another noise as well, a dull thrum that remained foreign to her. She followed the vibrations, a glint of silver flashing in her eyes as a small vessel sailed past. Ants crawled along the surface, mindlessly moving with some unknown purpose in mind. She watched them until she grew bored, her mind quickly shifting to other pursuits. She wanted a closer look, her body contorting and squeezing as she shrunk down to a more reasonable size. One the ants stopped moving, turning to look up at her. The ant was not supposed to be here, but remained, nonetheless.
She was the ant, and the ant was her. They were two pieces of a single whole finally reunited, uncertainly approaching one another. She reached up and down, clicking together in harmony as she finally came to rest. The others approached, drawing closer to observe the phenomenon. She joyfully cried out to them, elation running through her as she sang. They remained silent, stagnant, unknowing of the delights she reveled within. She had to show them, had to make them understand. She stretched out an arm, beckoning them closer, slowly reaching up until her fingers brushed against the titanic mass. She showed them two pieces becoming whole, a life long lost and the one that remained. She showed them the stars and the galaxies of swirling color, limitless potential waiting to be explored.
“Fascination,” they rumbled, drawing even closer. “Curiosity. Ingenuity. Adaptation.” She preened at the praise, happy they had come to understand. “Signal. Broadcast. Convergence.”
She woke up.