Archive of Our Own

Honestly, if you had told Grian that he’d wake up on new years to a similar situation like in double life, he wouldn’t have believed it.

But slowly waking up in the protective arms of Scar, surrounded by the happy scent of spices and flowers (and a recent claiming) he just felt…content. Something inside of him finally snapped into its right position, allowing him to ease into the embrace and wrap his wings around the two, hiding them away from the world to enjoy the proximity for just a moment longer.

And this time he would take his time to enjoy, to let the feelings settle and just embrace the connection created by the two of them with his entire being.
He loved Scar. And Scar loved him.

It could have been so easy all the time! The past months could have already been full of bliss but noo, they both needed to be the most stubborn and stupid people on the entire server!

He slowly opened his eyes, gaze wandering towards the alpha he had fallen asleep on. Scar was breathing calmly, hands resting on the avian’s lower back. Holding him close, keeping him safe.
Safe with mate. Safe at home.

Home… home. Scar was his home. God he took so awfully long for this realisation!
The fresh red mating mark almost covered the previous scar, reminding him of his own probably red neck. 

He was just about to nuzzle his nose close to the alpha’s neck and doze off again when he heard someone knocking on his door. 

“Grian?! Grian, you in there, bud?”

Jimmy. God, not again!

He didn't go into a full shutdown like after the initial mating in double life, though Grian still froze at the sound of another omega so close to his nest.
So close to his mate.

He buried himself deeper into Scar’s protective embrace (if it was even possible), wrapping them further into his wings. Scar stirred underneath him, a soft rumble in his chest while he pulled Grian closer, nuzzling his nose into his hair.

It stayed domestic for exactly two seconds before another knock on the door fully woke the alpha, his head snapping towards the front door. (Why was his bed visible from the door again? Past Grian, were you not thinking about your privacy…?!)

A low growl formed in his throat, the elf shifting their weight so he could shield the avian in his arms.

“Grian? You’re okay, buddy?”

Scar growled louder, the spice scent spiking in a clear warning to kindly fuck off.

Grian wanted to call out, wanted to send away the other omega but Scar’s reaction and the constant thumping of Protect. Protect. PROTECT. in his head caused his own instincts to run haywire as well.
Not safe. Mate will keep safe. Mate will protect. Nest in danger. Nest not safe- Mate help- Protect. Protect!

Protect what?

“Hey buddy, I’m getting worried! You’re fine?” The door opened slowly.
“Xisuma said you weren’t feeling well, and-”

The canary froze in the door just as Scar let out another loud growl, clearly torn between shielding his mate and jumping up to defend his territory. 

“Oh gosh, not again!” Jimmy gasped exasperated, quickly backing off as he slammed the door shut again.
“I am so sorry!” He called before the spamming of rockets could be heard.

…threat gone. Mate kept safe. Nest safe. 

Scar turned around again, his expression softening once it focused on the avian, placing his hands back on Grian’s waist to draw circles on his skin with his thumb.

“You’re fine…?”

Grian chuckled softly, easing into the gentle touch as he nodded slowly.
“...I’m fine, Scar. Just…instincts going crazy, you know?”

“...yeah, I just…I really just want to enjoy it this time. For real. This is real, right? I didn't get blackout drunk yesterday and this is a hangover dream, right?”

“God, no! Imagine how much more complicated this would be! I am…I’m glad you came by yesterday, Scar. Really…”

Happy. Excitement. Joy. Love.
The green eyes in front of him seemed to sparkle, sending a warm and comfortable shiver down his spine. The omega wrapped his arms around the other’s neck, pulling him down into a slow kiss.

And that’s how they spend the next hours, gentle and sloppy kisses, close embraces and a small break for breakfast. (Scar insisted on it once Grian’s stomach growled loudly, much to the dismay of the avian.)

Their domestic time only got disturbed further into the day when once again rockets sounded above Grian’s base, said owner groaning annoyed.

“Why won’t they leave us alone…!”

“Maybe because we never clarified anything…?” 

Grian buried his face on Scar’s shoulder, lips brushing over the red mark he left there. 

“...maybe. We should send them off and then maybe announce… something in the chat…”

Scar wrapped his omega (His omega! His mate! He could finally call Grian all those things without feeling bad!) into a blanket, placing a quick peck on Grian’s forehead before he marched towards the door - blanket draped around his waist - to send off whoever decided to bother them right now.

Maybe it was Keralis who wanted to check up on them? Confirm the situation? Oh god, did Xisuma call home Mumbo to kick Grian’s butt?

Both Scar and Grian got startled at a sudden and frantic knocking on the door, the alpha growling loudly.

Danger. Protect!

“Grian, open up your blummin’ door!” Someone screamed, another alpha screamed, demanded.

Protect! PROTECT!

“Leave!” Scar roared out.

“Shut up Scar! Grian, Hermes is dying!”

It was as if the world came to a sudden stop, everything freezing as Grian seemed to catch up to whatever was just said. To what Joel just said.

Hermes is dying?!

And as if he just ran into a wall, time seemed to resume, Grian jumping up with shaky legs as he tried to rush towards the door. Scar held out his arm, trying to keep himself between his omega and the door, trying to shield him from the angry alpha on the other side.

“Scar-” Grian whispered, placing a hand on his arm as he tried to calm his mate.

“Joel what-”

“Open up the stupid rift, Grian!”

…Protect. Child hurt…Child sick. Protect!

“I- yes, I will! I will!”

He turned towards Scar, pumping out as many calming pheromones as he could in his own panicked state, the alpha surprisingly easing up at the avian’s silent demands.

The next actions were a bit blurry if Grian tried to think back, quickly getting dressed and racing over to the rift, Scar always trailing after him. (Everything in him screamed to check on Hermes, calm his mind and check on the boy. But he knew for a fact that Scar wouldn't be able to hold it together with any more people around him. Even Xisuma was already a stretch, but the packleader kept to the cave entrance, having made it clear to everyone else not to distract the freshly remated pair.)

So he worked hour after hour to reopen the rift, Scar never further away than an arm length. The alpha got a bit restless when Grian showed no sign of a break even after the sun sunk, pulling a chair after the avian to urge him to sit down, even if just for a few minutes.

Grian tried to ignore the constant thumping of worry in his own heart as well as through the bond, focusing fully on the task at hand.

And finally! The rift opened, swirling purple illuminating the cave.

It felt like a blur as he watched the emperors leave the server, Sausage stopping for a second so thank Grian and congratulate him before he rushed towards the portal the second Xisuma confirmed that Joel arrived safely on the other side.

Grian stumbled back into Scar’s arms, sighing relieved before the alpha just picked him up, taking a few steps away from the group (he had done his best to keep the aggression down) before he leaped and flew into the air with his mate in his arms.

Hermes would be fine…
Child safe.  

He leaned his head on Scar’s shoulder, protected in his mates arms, inhaling the spicy scent…so strong and enticing…he nibbled on the mating mark, only stopping when Scar tightened the hold on him, their glide with the elytra getting shakier.

…later…when they landed. 

He’d kiss him senseless when they landed back home.

(Sure, they couldn't have expected that Scar would get his rut just then, but neither of them complained. Grian could satisfy the insatiable hunger in his veins and Scar didn't need to hide away during his rut, having his mate there to help him.)

Over the next month they got to properly enjoy the bond between them, let it settle and ease into their daily schedule. Scar had kindly kidnapped him to Scarland into his apartment, and Grian needed to admit that he didn't bother. It had enough space, a big bed he could comfortably bury himself in and the whole place smelled like Scar, like home and safety.

Sure, he made quite a fuss for someone to pick up his nesting materials but hey! Who was he to blame for his instincts!

…if only it weren't for those stubborn cramps Grian still got! 

Honestly, he would think that by now it would be over, that those stupid bond breaking symptoms would ease up. Unless it was his missing heats trying to sneak back just to be hit with just another change in his hormones again!

Stupid, stupid…

But he had Scar. And he really enjoyed the phone call he had with Mumbo, Scar holding back from snickering the entire time as Grian hummed a simple:
“...hey Mumbo, I may have slept with Scar on new years.”

(“You what!? Did you finally talk?!”

“We also mated again.”

“Grian?! What- how- what!?”)

Really, Grian was almost a hundred percent sure that Mumbo died then and there on the phone!
But the beta was more than happy to hear Scar’s soft chuckles and their confirmation that they finally took the leap of faith.

(“Goodness gracious, finally!”)

They were just a few days into february, Grian not feeling up at all to leave Scar’s base for the monthly meeting. Everything felt wrong and alone the thought of leaving their house made him sick. 

Scar took care of letting Xisuma know that they’d stay at home, that Grian was likely in pre heat for real this time and that there was no way the two of them could attend the meeting.

“...are they always this bad…?” Scar whispered worriedly, hands softly brushing over his stomach. Warm hands…keeping him safe. 
Would help him through his heat…would support him…his mate. Mate.

He just shrugged weakly.
“...probably just some last remaining bits from the bond breaking…” 

Guilt.

“Gri…”

“‘m fine, Scar. Really. I can handle this.” He just hummed in reply.

It was when Grian went to grab a cup of water when another cramp tore through his body, the omega leaning on the counter as he whined, quick steps echoing through the apartment as Scar entered the room just as a wet sensation appeared between the legs of a mortified avian.

He just peed himself out of pain.

“I- I’m sorry I-”
Oh god, that was so embarrassing! 

Comfort. Love. Worry.

“...okay Gri, the pain is not getting better at all. How about I’ll message Zoom-Zoom and you take a nice and warm shower? I’ll get you some comfy clothes and once Xisuma arrives we’ll let him check you all over?”

He sighed defeated, nodding slowly.
“Okay…you’re right. Let’s do that.”

He moved towards the bathroom, Scar hushing into the bedroom before he trailed right after the avian once more.

Scar contacted the admin while Grian let the warm water run over his body, taking in deep breaths of the comforting spice that surrounded him. The warmth was comforting on his aching muscles, letting him almost forget the painful cramps he had been experiencing the past hours.

He managed to slip out of the shower and into the awaiting arms of his mate holding a towel when the next wave of cramps hit, making him groan as he buried his face on Scar’s neck.

Worry.

…it really wasn’t getting better, and if his own rising worry didn’t make him nervous already it was certainly the Worry pulsing through the bond from Scar. 

Once he was finally back in clothes - sinking into the comforting embrace of one of Scar’s shirts - the two of them moved back to the bedroom, the omega curling up inside the nest he had built and rearranged over and over again the past weeks.

And there he stayed until the sounds of rockets could be heard, until the spices that surrounded him spiked protectively before they eased up again.

Two arms wrapped around him, Safe.
Mate here. Mate keeps safe.

“Hey sweetface…” someone hummed softly, Grian blinking exhausted at the silhouette of his pack leading omega. Calming pine mixed with the protective spices.
He tried to hide away in Scar’s arms.

Protect. Safe.

“...I know, I know…not doing well, hm Brian? We heard you have very bad cramps?”

The avian whined softly, leaning his head exhausted on Scar’s shoulder, nodding slowly.

“Shashwammy will check your code, is that fine? We’ll figure out what’s wrong, okay Brian?” 

Reassurance. Comfort. Love. 

“Okay.” He whispered weakly.

His eyes fluttered shut again, a soft chirp leaving his lips as Scar started to brush through his hair, keeping him calm.

“And? Found anything?” His mate mumbled, the worry still pulsing through the bond.

Another cramp tore through his abdomen, making him gasp out as he curled up, his laboured breaths eventually turning into a silent scream. 
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

Worry.

“Shh Brian…we got you…Shashwam…?”

“Nothing yet- I can’t see any viruses or bugs…and no glitches either, so maybe-” 

The admin stopped, closing his eyes before he opened them again, checking the code in front of him once again as the room slowly plunged into an ocean of horrified ice.
Entity count 2…
Entity count 2.

“...no. No-” the admin mumbled, looking up, gaze flickering between the freshly mated pair and the console.

Fear. Worry. Panic.

“Xisuma- what’s wrong?” Scar demanded to know, hands wrapping tighter around the whimpering omega in his arms.

Keralis moved, placing a hand on top of Xisuma’s shoulder, softly rubbing it.
“Whatever it is we can fix it toge-”

The admin reached for his mate’s hand, gently shushing him with this gesture before he focused on what he had to say next.

“...you both remated a month ago…and then spent Scar’s rut together, correct?”

Rotten pine slowly seeped into the room as Keralis squeezed Xisuma's hand back, swallowing heavily.

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

“Yeah, but why does that matt- ngh!” Grian curled up again, screaming out.

The pack leaders stared at each other for a few seconds, prominent scents coated the entire room in a heavy sadness, in horrible distress before Xisuma looked back at his console. Keralis clung to his hand, knuckles white, eyes staring off into nothing before the omega focused back on his pack, his younglings.

“Fuck- Fuck!” The admin cussed, making both Grian and Scar jump. 

Worry. Fear. Protect. Scared. Terror.

…if Xisuma was cursing then-

“...please tell me he is not dying-” Scar whispered, heart racing as he tried to hold tightly onto his mate, as if that could prevent him from leaving, from slipping out of his grasp.
“Xisuma, please tell me he is not dying!”

“...he’s not.” Keralis whispered, a weak wave of comforting pine washing over them before the rotten pine returned, pain flashing through the man’s eyes before he took a careful step closer again.

Scar growled frustrated, nothing but panic in their bond.
“Then what’s-”

“I should have checked- this is my fault, fuck! I should have checked!”

“...not now, Shashwammy…” his mate stopped him gently, a weak wave of calming pheromones washing over the room once again as he knelt down in front of the panicked pair.

“Scar. Grian.”

Both stared at their pack leading omega, Grian’s hands shaking in his lap. Scar held onto him, softly rocking them both in an attempt to soothe, to calm down.

“You won’t die.” Brown eyes met obsidian dark ones, trying to reassure the shaking omega.
“...but we’re pretty sure-”

Keralis closed his eyes, taking a slow and heavy breath.
“...you’re having a miscarriage, Grian.”

Time froze, Grian’s mind stopped.
…Miscarriage…a miscarriage?!

He was pregnant? Him and Scar were expecting?
…The nausea…the broody mood the past month! It all made sense, oh god-

He was pregnant and he was losing the baby.
He was losing his baby.

“...no…no, no no no- this can’t be- this must be wrong, Xisuma-” Grian stared at the alpha, pleading, begging.
This couldn't be, he just found out he was apparently pregnant but he-

Protect. Fear. Sad.

“...how?” Scar wanted to know, voice broken, silent.

Xisuma swallowed, shaking his head slowly.
“I don’t- I assume it was the…the rift probably. It must have caused a glitch with the player breeding setting and-” he bit his lip, lifting his arm to focus back on his admin screen.

“...I should turn on player breeding…this might help with the pain and- and make it…make it more bearable.” Keralis almost teared up at the helpless tone of his mate, closing his eyes to swallow down the memories.

…Keralis never wanted to see some of his younglings in such a position, never wanted them to feel the same pain he went through over and over again, mate at his side as-

“...I’m sorry, Scar…” Grian whispered broken, twisting in the alpha’s arms to face him, breath still uneven from the recent wave of pain.
“I’m sorry, Scar I’m so sorry-”

…apologizing over and over again, weeping at the voidwalker’s chest. Not good enough…he hadn’t been good enough, had disappointed Xisuma and-

“...we didn't know, Gri…it’s okay, we didn't- we couldn't have known…” Scar replied, trying his best to offer comfort to his mate, to ignore his own sadness and disbelief to support his mate through those vulnerable moments.

“We didn't know…”

Keralis let out a choked whine, opening his eyes as he squared his shoulders, scooting a bit closer as he forced his entire being to provide now. 
Provide for his pack. 
Provide for his younglings.

They need him.

“...we’ll help you through this, okay Brian?” 

Wide and scared eyes focused on the pack leading omega. The avian shaking, slowly shaking his head.

“...I can’t…I can’t do this, Keralis… I can’t, I can’t!”

“...I’m sorry, Brian. I’m so sorry, I never wanted- none of you should ever have to go through this, I am so sorry…”

“...Xisuma-” Scar pleaded, the admin shaking his head sadly.

“...I wish I could do something. You don’t know how much I wish I could fix this, stop this from happening. I tried- I tried again and again and- I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“There needs to be somethi-”

Scar was interrupted by another scream of Grian, the omega sobbing uncontrollably as he buried his nose on Scar’s neck, rocking them.

Protect. Sad. Comfort. Terror. Love. Devastation. Protect.

“It’s okay, Gri…I got you…I got you, okay? I love you, nothing will change that…” the alpha whispered into his ear.
“...breathe, okay? You can do it, we’ll do it together…in and hold…and out…come on, birdie…”

“I’m so sorry, Sca- argh! Sorry…so sorry! I- ugh!”

“Shh…it’s fine, Gri…’m not mad…not mad, nothing to apologize for…” 

Not mad. Not mad. But Grian was-
He felt like breaking apart. How could he feel so devastated at the loss of something he didn't even know about? And how did it feel so right to think of a little baby in his and Scar’s arms? 
A baby he wouldn't have cause-

He screamed, loud and full of anguish before it ebbed into broken sobs, only being held together by his mate’s strong arms.

Helpless. Pain. Sad. Terror. Protect. Resignation.

Scar rocked the avian, eyes moving from one edge of the room to another as he tried to figure out how to help his mate, how to ease the pain that kept reappearing in waves.

His eyes land on their pack leaders.
“...how can I help him…how? Please, how?” 

“...be there for him. You’re already doing great, Scar…” Keralis answered, carefully placing his hand on the alpha’s shoulder with a comforting squeeze.

Scar tensed up, nervously glancing at Keralis before he relaxed again, nodding slowly.

“...there…there will be blood. No need to be alarmed by that, okay?” 

The elf choked on a breath, nodding slowly then while he kept rocking the crying omega in his arms, softly brushing through his hair.

“...you can- …warmth might help. A heating pad or something like that.” 

“...a warm bath…?”

At the nod of his pack leading omega the alpha turned his full attention back to his mate, blinking quickly to hold back tears.
“...hey Gri, songbird…want to take a bath? Nice and warm to help you with the…the pain…?”

Hazy eyes fluttering open, pleading for some miracle, shoulders dropping in resignation after a few more moments.

“...mhh..” he nodded, burying his head right back on the elf’s neck, taking a few deep inhales of comforting spices. Distressed spices…

“...I’ll let the water run.” Xisuma mumbled, throwing a last worried glance at Keralis before he slowly walked towards the bathroom, leaving the door open to rush back within a moment's notice if needed.
Leaving them behind in silence only broken by the heavy breathing of Grian and the distant pitter patter of water.

“...why?” Grian broke the heavy silence that settled between them, twisting his head to look at Keralis.
“...what did I do wrong…why…why is this happening to me?”

“You did nothing wrong.” The pack leader replied immediately, softly grabbing Grian’s hand with his free one.

“It’s not your fault. It’s nobody's fault, you hear me? I know it hurts, I know- I know it’s hard to wrap your mind around but-” 

He searched for words, words to express even a fraction of what went on in his mind. He focused back on pushing out calming and comforting pheromones, trying to fight back against the distressed stench in the room.

“...it will hurt.” He admitted honestly.
“You both will scream and…and grief. And that’s okay. You are allowed to, okay?” He made sure to look at both of his youngling’s eyes, made sure to convey what he tried to express.

“You won’t be alone. We’ll be here, and all the others will help as well. And now we’ll take care of you, okay? Will you let us do that…?”

The avian squeezed his hand tightly, a contrast to his silent and empty “...okay.”

“...we can cook you something while you bathe…is there anything you’d li-”

The grip tightened as a baseline of panic returned to the obsidian dark eyes.
“Don’t leave! Please.”

“Okay. Okay. Of course I’ll stay with you, sweetface. We’ll keep you safe, okay?” 

Grian nodded, leaning his head back on Scar’s shoulder, squishing his pack leader’s hand from time to time.

A steady Grief pulsates through the bond between the freshly remated pair, trying to wrap their mind around the situation.

Once the bathtub was ready Scar went on to lift up Grian, pressing him close to his chest as he slowly stumbled over towards the bathroom, Keralis right beside them to support whenever the alpha lost his footing.

“Here, grab my hands sweetface. I’ll help you stay upright while Scar undresses you, okay? Look at me, Brian. Keep your eyes on me, okay?”

Keralis wanted to make sure that Grian wouldn't need to see the blood, not now. If he could have protected Scar from this sight he would have done so as well, but there was no way the young alpha would allow anyone else besides him to undress his mate. It was already a miracle he didn't try to lash out at Keralis.

Scar worked slowly, hands shaking as he carefully pulled down Grian’s pants, followed by his underwear.

…But to everyone's surprise there was nothing.
Not a single spot of red. 

Scar looked up to him confused, helpless as his eyes begged for an answer. Hoping for another explanation of the pain. Hoping for a better outcome.

Keralis’ mind ran a mile, trying to piece together what that could mean. They spend new years and Scar’s rut together, which was a month ago.

“...did you…did you spend another night together before new years?” 

“...no..? No…just on double life…” 

Then what else could it be?
Fact is, Grian’s code showed an additional entity, there were horrible cramps that made the omega scream and the only two instances of intercourse were one month ago and eight months-

Eight.

No. Nononono-

Grian’s next scream pulled him out of his stupor, the avian falling forward into Keralis’ arms.
Loud. Pained.

Scar immediately placed his hands on his hips, holding him up, placing a quick kiss on Grian’s head.
“...shh…I got you…shh…”

Once the cramp eased up Scar wasted no second to lift his mate into the tub.

Keralis started counting, glancing down to the tiny bump on Grian’s tummy. Not big enough to warrant eight months.

But the lack of blood…

After two more waves of those cramps which kept getting closer to each other, Keralis was pretty sure that this was more than a miscarriage.
Worse than a miscarriage.

…no bump. Grian hadn’t mentioned any weird movements or kicks, the nesting incident on empires and double life being eight months ago-

“...Grian. Grian, this is important.” He squeezed the omega’s hand, the boy looking up with teary, empty eyes.

“...hm..?”

“...did you feel any weird movements in your stomach the past months? Anything?”

“N…no?”

No movement. The odd sweet scent since the initial mating. The king’s game incident-

“...Shashwam.”

“Yes?”

Keralis felt like passing out. Felt like crying. There were his two youngling and he needed to tell them-
His heart was heavy with terror and pain.

“...ask the…ask the other’s if someone knows about childbi-…about labour. This is- I’m so sorry, so sorry. I think this is a stillbirth. I think the baby was conceived during double life.”

“No!” 

Water sloshed over the edge of the tub, splashing over the ground. Grian stared at him with wide panicked eyes, shaking his head frantically.
“No- no no no! That's not true- that can’t be true!” 

“Gri-”

“No! Scar I can’t do this, I can’t give birth to our dead-” he choked, pulling his hand back to bury his face in them.
“I can’t! I can’t- no…”

Pain. Terror. Sad.

Keralis could feel his own emotions reflected by his mate.

With another loud splash Scar had joined the omega in the tub, making himself as small as possible while he wrapped his arms around the avian, whispering words of encouragement.

“...Brian…Brian look at me…” Keralis tried to coax the avian, trying to find a way to distract him.
Guide him through this.

If he could he would take this burden off the other’s shoulders, would rather suffer himself than have this trauma placed on the young pair.
He already knows how to deal with this pain.
He already knows how to wrap the pain into tiny bundles and bury them deep down his soul. Out of sight. Far away from where it could hurt him on a normal day.
Too bad this was not a normal day.

“Keralis…” he whimpered, reaching out his hand again.
“Keralis please, I…I can’t…”

“I’m so sorry…” he squeezed his hand.
“I’ll be here and Scar is with you, okay? You won’t be alone. You just need to listen to my voice, okay?”

At the edge of his awareness he could smell lavender seeping into the room, mixing into the horribly distressed scents lingering in the room.

With a low growl Keralis turned towards the door, shielding his two vulnerable younglings in the bathtub.
The spices behind him spiked protectively, only countered by the calming icy pheromones.

Safe. Protect.

Keralis blinked, eyes focusing on the sheep hybrid that stood in the door with raised hands, head slightly tilted.

“I’m here to help…”

…help. Right. Keralis had asked Xisuma to call for help.

The pack leading omega nodded, softly squeezing Grian’s hand once again.
“...it’s okay Brian, Scar…It’s just Zed. Zed will help us too, okay? Look at me, Brian. We can do this.”

The sheep hybrid took a few steps closer, keeping his voice calm and level.

“Hey Grian…there isn’t much you’ll need to do, okay? First I’ll need to check how far along we are and then you’ll just need to hold onto Scar and push when I tell you, you got that?”

“Zed I can’t-”

“You can, look at Scar. Just focus on Scar, okay?”

As if on cue the alpha cupped his mate’s face carefully, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.
“Eyes on me, birdie. We can do this. I got you.”

The next hours were… rough.

Zedaph kept trying to encourage them as the usually loud and cheeky avian seemed to block out everything, head rested on Scar’s shoulder as he listened to the uttered commands around him with no backtalk.
Spirit crushed.

It broke Keralis’ heart.

The pack leading omega made sure that Grian took some sips of water in between, countering the dehydration of the tears he shed. 

The pack leading omega made sure that Scar could focus on himself and Grian, that he knew that they’d be protected by him and Xisuma. 

The pack leading omega made sure that Zed had all space he needed to operate in the more than less optimal space, sleeves rolled up yet still wet as he carefully tracked Grian’s progress.

The pack leading omega made sure that Xisuma didn’t worry too much about him, keeping a steady level of calming pheromones in the room as he pushed Comfort. through the bond, echoed back by his mate.

The pack leading omega made sure that he himself didn’t get swallowed up by past memories, drowning in his own despair that he had locked up for years by now. Why now? Why like this with no preparation, through a bug nonetheless? Or was it a bug? Why had nobody noticed? Why his younglings who just finally found together after years of pining and months of fights and-

Worry.

He quickly looked over to Xisuma, offering a weak smile before he turned back to Grian, gently rubbing his lower back. Hold it together, Keralis!
“...doing great, Brian…”

“Mhm! Real good there, Grian. I want you to focus on breathing now, okay? Scar, help him keep his rhythm, yep. I can…I can feel the head. We’re slowly reaching the end, okay Grian? Not much longer.”

His words were only met with a low whimper, the avian wrapping his arms tighter around his mate as he kept his head buried on his neck, unwilling to lift it for the past hours unless to take a sip of water.

And Scar kept him close, supporting his body and whispering words into the omega’s ears nobody else got to hear.

The next few contractions were nothing more than downright depressing, Grian’s sob broken screams would likely haunt Keralis into his deepest nightmares.

And Grian could only agree if he had been able to properly think.

The only thing on his mind was the horrible pressure, the awful blinding pain and the reminder with each contraction that this was all for nothing, that he had already failed before he knew about it, that he’d birth a dead baby and-

…Scar. Despite how many times the alpha promised and whispered that he wouldn’t leave, that he wouldn’t abandon Grian…The omega was pretty sure that once all of this was over the elf would see his error and finally leave him for good. Finally realise that he was actually flawed and not a good choice for a partner, not for someone as good as Scar and-

He screamed at the next contraction, his body having taken over as it pushed and bore down, Grian’s vision blacking out as all he consisted of was Pain. Nothing but burning pain all over his body, in his chest, his heart beating with sorrow and grief.

Hands cupping his cheeks, warm, scarred.
Mate. Mate help. Help.

He blinked, gasping desperately as he watched Scar’s lips move, no sound meeting his ears. Though his lips kept moving, his eyes trying to catch his attention. Green, familiar and comforting green.

“...breathe, songbird…breathe, okay? Yes…just like that, mister. In and out, that’s better…we’re almost there, Gri…almost there…”

“...I can’t…I can’t, I can’t…” he whined, hands clinging into the wet fabric of his mate’s shirt. 

“I know, I know it’s hard…you’re so brave, songbird. Light of my life. Mine…” he gently pulled the omega closer again, softly pressing his nose right on his scent gland.

Soothing spices. Mate here. Mate. 

…What if he hadn't made up with Scar a month ago? What if he needed to go through all this alone right now? There was no way he’d be able to, even with the alpha here on his side he felt like giving up, spirit crushed.

He leaned closer, taking a deep inhale.
Safe with mate.

“...Brian? Brian, sweetface. Zed got the head, you hear? One or two more big pushes, okay? Then it’s over.”

Over. Over. He wished he had never needed to go through this, never had to live with the devastating fact that he and Scar lost a child. 

Once more and then it’s over.

…over.

…Sure. Whatever. He just wanted to be done and hide in his nest for eternity. He just wanted to wrap his arms around Scar and never let go again. 

…he just wanted to scream and cry and punch something.

He just…

“...okay Scar, listen to me now. Okay? Good. I want you to bury your head on Brian’s neck, okay? Hold him real tight and nuzzle your face right on his scent gland, okay?”

“Why-”

“...just do it, sweetface…it’ll be…it’ll be better this way, okay?”

Another wave of weak comforting pine washed over them, Keralis back to comfortingly rubbing his back.

Scar’s head slowly lowered on Grian’s neck, his nose brushing over the mating mark. 
Mate close. Mate safe. Keeps safe. 

Grian took another shaky inhale.

“...perfect, sweetface. You keep your head there, okay? You keep it right there, safely tucked to your mate until we tell you it’s fine, okay?”

…They made sure Scar wouldn't see. Wouldn't see how much of a failure Grian was. Wouldn't see their lifeless-

The avian’s breath shuddered as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Hands and an awful feeling down his butt, another hand resting on his lower back. Two arms wrapped around him, holding him upright.

Pain. 

How would it have felt to feel the small movements in his tummy? Feel the little kicks and punches? 

Pain.

How would it have affected their relationship if they’d known? Would they have got together quicker? Would they have had a baby shower? Decorated a nursery together? Read books on how to be a parent?

Pain.

…It was his fault that happened, right? He had been reckless, had worked against everything his heart wanted and- …he died so many times. The cramps during the kings game- oh god it was all his fault- Grian killed their baby and-

“...Gri…” a soft breath on his neck, grounding him back into the here and now.
“...it’ll be fine, okay?”

He sniffled, sinking further into Scar’s embrace as he tried to stay focused. 
One more time. One last time. 

He pressed.

He pressed and screamed, his wings spreading as water dripped onto the floor, splashing over the edge of the tub.

…he’d need to clean up the room later. He can’t put even more of a burden on Scar…

And suddenly the horrible stretch was gone, the striking pain slowly easing up as only his heavy heart remained. With a weak sob he collapsed into Scar’s arms, hiding them both in a cocoon of his wings.

He didn't want Scar to see, never ever ever-

He barely listened to the sounds around him.

Scar tried to lift his head, a flurry of emotions flickering through their bond. Grian immediately raised his hands to press his mate’s head back to his neck.

He barely listened to the sounds around him.

The scents around him changed drastically, the spices filling his nose spiking in surprise and joy.

…at what? What was so joyful to cause such a quick shift?

“...Gri…Grian…!” 

…he should have listened to the sounds around him.

Joy. Relief. Surprise. Love. Awe. Scared. Worry. Excitement.

“Gri, listen…!”

…a loud wail. High pitched, desperate. 
A wail so disturbingly strange and familiar, itching a part of Grian’s deeply buried instincts as he slowly lifted his head, hands shaking as he slowly let go of Scar’s head, folding his wings on his back.

The screaming continued. Zed was calling out something, people shuffling behind him.
But all he could focus on was the screaming. 

He was too scared to turn around. Was this all a dream? A sick mirage by his aching heart? Did he pass out? God, anything would be better than turning around and seeing a lifeless tiny body right now. 

“Stop standing around! I need towels NOW!”  

It was as if a spark went through Grian’s body, the omega taking a loud gasp, realising he had held his breath the entire time. Someone was rubbing his back right between his wings, and he already wanted to lash out until his eyes fell on Scar, the familiar sensation of his arms on him, the green orbs full of tears and a worried, but wobbly smile on his lips.

Mate has him. Mate comforts. Mate happy. Mate happy?

“Scar-” he croaked.

Relief flooded green eyes, the hand on his back moving to cup his cheek again, Scar’s thumb softly brushing over the red skin, irritated by the hours of crying and weeping.

“Yes, love. Light of my life. Gri- oh Gri. You did it!”

Love. Adoration. Joy. Excitement. Worry. Awe.

He did what?

…screaming. Screaming. He needed to protect- Why was there still screaming? Why was nobody soothing the baby-
…baby…
His baby.

Scar yelped surprised when the omega twisted in his arms, warm water once again splashing over the corner of the bathtub. Two arms grabbed his waist, stopping him from twisting further, from shifting too much.

Zed was leaning half inside the tub, only stopped from slipping in by Keralis. The sheep was cursing under his breath, trying to keep the wailing baby close enough to Grian to not strain the umbilical cord while keeping her head above water.

“Scar, hold onto him!”

“I’m doing what I can!”

“Shh, no fights now! Brian, sweetface. Hold on for one minute, okay? We got to dry her head to prevent her from cooling down too much!”

Footsteps approaching, Scar growling warningly.

Little face all red from screaming, all red with blood and mucus. Arms splashing the water they were submerged in, wriggling unsatisfied.
Loud. Clearly announcing their presence.

“I’m already gone again!”

“Scar, focus on Brian! Shashwam only gave us towels, he won’t invade your territory!”

A little girl. Screaming. Reaching out.
She was breathing. She was alive.
Not a stillbirth...
Not a stillbirth!

Not a stillbirth!

He broke out into tears for the millionth time that day, sobbing desperately. This wasn’t real, was it? She was right there, his baby, his daughter. Right out of his reach, screaming for him.
She needed him and he couldn’t help, he couldn’t reach.

He reached out, made grabby hands at the little body in Zed’s arms. His baby…He wanted his baby! Why was Scar keeping him from his baby? From their daughter? He needed to keep her safe, to protect her!

Scar still had one hand on his hip, holding him back as the other moved to brush over his neck, gently rubbing it as his mind turned mushy.
…no…no please…

He helplessly watched as Zed carefully cleaned her head, tapping it dry while the baby, his daughter, kept crying. An awful noise in Grian’s ears, making his heart throb.

Comfort. Safe. Protect. Love.

“Scar…” he whined, once again making grabby hands at the little baby in Zed arms.

“I know, birdie…I am barely holding back myself…but they help her, okay? Just one more second…”

So he kept watching, wide eyes following every movement until there was no wet spot left on her head, the sheep hybrid looking up with relief in his eyes.

“Grian! Grian, look here! She is all yours now, okay? Keep her head above water, initiate skin-to-skin while keeping her body in the water, okay?”

There! There she was, being carefully moved closer to his arms.

“Did you hear me? Grian!”

He nodded absentmindedly, eyes focused on his baby.
Breathing. His little miracle.
Alive. Completely exhausted from crying, but still going strong with loud screams.
His. His!
Protect. Protect! PROTECT!

He snatched her out of the other omega’s hands, cradling her close to his chest. Two scarred arms carefully moving under his, not to take what was his but to add a second layer of protection.
Mate here. Mate keeps safe. Safe.

He leaned into his alpha’s chest, letting out a choked giggle as he watched the little girl’s nose twitch, leaning into his touch. Her cries slowly died down, her hands still splashing a bit of water until she fell asleep, chest rising and falling with strong breaths.

Not a stillbirth.

Grian could feel something twitch on his arms, causing him to gasp as he carefully lifted her up for a second, her face scrunching up unsatisfied.
Wings. Tiny little wing stumps, waiting to develop, to grow into strong wings able to carry the tiny avian in his arms.

He quickly pulled her back close to his chest, making sure her head was above water while her body stayed submerged.

He closed his eyes, head falling back to lean on Scar’s chest as he sobbed out once again.
“...she has wings! Wings, Scar!”

The alpha’s chest shook with gleeful giggles, pulling his little family closer.
“Yes…yes she does, just like you…she got that from you. Oh god, I love you so much, Gri…”

“She is alive!”

Scar nuzzled his head to Grian’s neck, pressing a gentle kiss on the mating mark he had left there.
“Yes, she is. She is! You did so great, songbird…”

He twisted slightly, slowly forcing himself to face the others in the room, stopping himself from growling as he simply pressed his daughter closer to his chest.

Keralis leaned in Xisuma’s arms at the entryway to the bathroom, eyes showing his exhaustion as he had a weak smile on his lips.
The admin’s arm was tightly wrapped around his mate, apparently keeping him up.
He looked just as tired.
Zed was slipping out of his coat and cardigan, trying to wring out the water the clothes had soaked up.

“...how?” Grian whispered weakly.

His pack leaders’ eyes filled with guilt as Keralis’ mouth opened and closed again.

Zed took over, explaining with a soft voice:
“...with what we’ve known it was safe to assume that it…that this would not take the happy ending it had. You hear me, Grian? This is not Xisuma’s or Keralis’ fault for coming to this conclusion.”

The omega glanced at his pack leaders, nodding slowly.

“What you had is…I think they call it cryptic pregnancy? It’s very rare, especially if it stays unknown ‘till birth. Your little girl decided to play hide and seek!”

Grian chuckled weakly, staring down into the little bundle in his arms.
“...quite the surprise, hm? I’d say she won this round of hide and seek…”

Scar giggled once again, pressing a kiss on Grian’s cheek.
“I’d prefer she wouldn’t scare us like that again!”

“I agree with you there! Okay, can you two listen to me? We’re not fully done yet, okay?”

…not done yet? What else needed to be done? Would they take her away again? Please no-

“...it’s all fine, G. You can keep holding onto her, okay? Good, we will need to cut the umbilical cord…and you still need to deliver the afterbirth. Once this is done Keralis and I will help you out of the tub and get you into warm clothes, okay?”

…oh, warm clothes and hiding away in his nest…that was just what he needed, what he wanted. Bury up in there with Scar and his baby, their baby!

“...okay.” he agreed slowly.

Zed instructed Scar on how to cut the cord, the alpha working slow and full concentration.
Joy, Awe and Love kept pulsing through the bond, reminding Grian again and again of the miracle that just happened.

The comforting spices next to him spiked to a worrisome sharpness when another cramp tore through Grian’s stomach, making the omega whine in pain as he clutched their daughter closer.

Not long after that Zed had helped him pass the afterbirth, Grian sighing exhausted as he sunk into Scar’s awaiting arms. The alpha started scrubbing him down gently, rubbing shampoo into his hair and carefully rinsing him off while Grian cleaned the rest of the mucus off their daughter's body.

Keralis offered a hand as Scar climbed out of the tub first, dangerously swaying for a few seconds as the alpha smacked on his legs with his free hand.

(“Wake up, stupid legs! We have important cargo to carry!”)

Zed and Xisuma had already disappeared towards the entrance of the apartment, letting Keralis help the fresh family with drying off and changing into comfortable clothes.
The pack leading omega patiently showed the exhausted parents on how to tie a makeshift diaper, silently apologizing for the panic his assumption had caused.

(Their little girl had rested in Scar’s arms at that moment, allowing Grian to give Keralis a big and tight hug.
“...it’s not your fault. Actually, thank you. Thank you so much for staying, thank you so much for all your support, Keralis…If this had really been- I couldn’t have done it without you.”)

And finally, finally, the three left the freshly baked family alone. Grian was carefully placed down in his nest, sleeping baby right on his chest. Scar slipped right beside him, wrapping his arms around his mate.

The avian carefully brushed over the little one’s cheek, stopping for a second before tears welled up once again in his eyes.

“...Gri?”

“...she has your ears…!” he sniffled, gently booping the pointed elven ears.

“She has- she is- she is alive, Scar!”

As if on cue the little bundle moved, squirming in Grian’s grasp as she smacked her lips.

“...oh! Hi…hi there…” Grian cooed softly, softly brushing over her hand. Her little fingers wrapped around his, holding tightly onto it as she kept smacking her lips.

“Well, hello there…” Scar whispered right next to him, staring lovingly at his daughter while their bond was filled with an overwhelming amount of Love.

…love for each other. Love for their newest little family member. Love for their pack, the unconditional support they received. Just love.

And it was still love when their little girl started to cry again, soft sobs leaving her lips.
It was still love when Grian took two tries to get her to latch, still too mentally exhausted from the past hours. It was still love when she later puked all over Scar.
It was nothing but pure love when they announced her name to the server, their precious little Poppy being accepted with nothing but smiles and congratulations.

…they were young. They hadn’t planned for a baby, not yet, not so early. But here she was, fitting herself into their lives as if she had belonged there all the time. 

They were young and they had each other, they had the support of the other Hermits.

They could do it.

Afterall, she was their precious little miracle.