Work Text:
Oh.
Oh.
Eyes distant and cloudy stare back.
I like him .
My heart grieves as the realisation hits. The sting in my eyes is ever present– but not because of the high. Oh nonononono— it was because of this stupid idiot.
This stupid idiot who got stabbed on the neck with a fork, this stupid idiot who manages to make this hellhole much more alive and fun—
This— he wills himself to not cry, in front of the dead man –especially from the group of people around him, from the chaos. Urging himself to not tip over, to not spill. Because he is a man. And because men do not cry.
He bit his lips, tasting the metallic tinge in his mouth– could feel the numb pain it leaves behind as he stares emptilly at the cold body infront of him.
His hands grip onto the front of the mans shirt, feels the cold metal behind.
Not fair . Is what his mind says. Why him? Why couldn't it be that bastard MG Coin? Or that pathetic Min-su?? Out of all the people in this godforsaken place.. why him? He so desperately thought as his hand held onto the cross necklace.
Body running faster than he could ever think, took the necklace from the body corpse of his one and only teammate. He wants the contents inside this necklace– to help him. To help him forget the glossy eyes staring back.
He can't help it. He is a junkie afterall.
He was running out of the bathroom, he never remembered that.
He was screaming towards the mass ‘O’ voters but his mind isnt really with him, everything was too numb. He ought to get those pills in his system. It was like he wasnt really him, if thats believable.
He was sitting on a bed, now. Staring at the cross necklace of his friend Thanos’. He feels.. hollow, his hands shaking as he thumbs the gems and embellishments of it.
“Thanos, that fucking idiot” Namgyu muttered out, glaring at the necklace like it had offended him. “That son of a bitch treated me like a fucking idiot,” He breathed out. Shakily opening the necklace, the colorful pills resting within it. He takes one out, pops it onto his mouth.
Relishing at the way it melts on his tongue- it fills him with giddiness. But then, dragging a hand on his face, eyes looking everywhere and everything.
He feels like shit. He feels so alone.
Thanos, his mind reminds him. Thanos would want one as well, he sniffles and holds another pill out, he pops it onto his mouth as well. Yeah, Thanos would want a pill too. He smiled as he giddily closed the cross necklace and took the bloodied fork out of his pockets. Thanos would like me to do this too. Namgyu thought as he stared with manic glee towards the bloodied fork spinning it in fascination. For Thanos.