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Johnny surviving the tunnel but not being able to return to the field. Half-retired on base, still fit enough to teach and boss around recruits. Ghost is still active, being sent out on the usual high stakes missions.
Soap won’t lie when he says he misses the action, the thrill, the danger - even though that life led him to migraines, tremors and a hefty dose of ptsd. He misses it.
But there’s something else there. A fear so bone deep - can only be so bone deep because he was so close to carking it.
He curses every new meeting Ghost has to attend fearing this meeting will be the one sending him on a mission he won’t return from.
They have gravitated closer together after the incident. Even closer after Markarov finally ate dirt (Simon killed him with his favorite knife and Soap would never admit to the butterflies he felt when Ghost described the bastards demise in gory detail), but they never spoke about it. Too repressed maybe, too cowardly, too scared that talking would make it real and make Simon not be able to ignore the dangers of his job any longer if he has something - or rather someone - it was worth coming home to.
The fragile house of cards collapses on a random Saturday, Ghost just having received his newest mission details - 2 weeks with no connection to anyone on the outside because of the nature of the location. It’s one of the riskiest missions yet.
And Johnny can’t take it anymore.
They fight, Soap trying to convince Ghost to not go. Simon not understanding why Johnny was being so unreasonable.
“Ye think it’s unreasonable to not want the love of my life dying in some ditch on some goddamn suicide mission?!”
They both stop.
Soap had not meant to say that - never intend to confess.
He looked at Simon - in his on base attire, soft mask, dark cow like eyes.
The apparent love of his life stood frozen. Soap had done it, had ruined the last good thing in his life, Simon obviously didn’t feel the sa-
His thoughts were interrupted by lips on his. Soft, careful but conveying a finality, a decision that would change both their lives but also feeling like coming home after a long day out in the freezing cold. When they parted, Simon looked at him so incredibly fond, it made his insides all mushy.
“Oh Johnny…”, was rasped into the space between them. “You know I have to go.” Johnny nodded.
He knew he couldn’t stop Simon from going on this mission, but he felt a little better about it now that he at least had told him how much he meant to him.
“But rest assured: every place I go to, I think of you. Every song I hear on the radio reminds me of you.”
Johnny clung to his words like they were his last (they might be his mind unhelpfully supplied) but right now all he could focus on was the next sentence leaving Simons lips.
“And I’ll promise you: when I come back - and that’s a when - I’ll bring your wedding ring.”