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“Raora, love?”
Liz tapped her on the shoulder. She froze, not realizing she’d walked right past the bar they were trying to walk to. Her feet were moving on their own.
“R-right, sorry,” she mumbled, managing to make eye contact with Liz’s soft gaze. “I think I just spaced out.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Liz leaned in closer. “You’ve been off recently.”
“It’s nothing. I guess I just maybe didn’t sleep enough?” She blinked several times, azure eyes failing to hide the exhaustion in her face.
Her vision wasn’t working. Or maybe it was working too well. She wasn’t sure which made more sense. All she knew is that something was staring. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be a person, no matter how human those eyes tried to appear. It couldn’t.
The bar’s sign felt like an assault to her eyes, faulty wiring powering the colorful flicker of its lights. A faint jazz melody slithered its way through the small crack in the closed door to the bar, worming its way into her ears as the duo approached the door. For a moment, Liz reached out to twist the doorknob, but she pulled back halfway.
“Just let me know if anything’s too overwhelming, yeah?”
Raora squirmed. “But I don’t want to interrupt you while you’re singing...”
“The job’s just a job, Raora,” she reassured her. “If we need to go, then we go. That’s fine.”
The only retort Raora had was a quiet mumble of agreement.
“Really. I want this to be something nice for the both of us, even if it was meant to just be a gig for me. Don’t hesitate to call me if you’re not enjoying it.”
Liz smiled. Raora sighed, feeling the tension in her cheeks crumble before her smile. “Okay, okay.” Even if it was only for a moment, she felt relief.
Liz waltzed through the door first, only to be met with a blast of cheer from the patrons within. Raora almost felt her hair stand up from the noise, barely managing to squeak her way behind Liz and into the bar. Somehow, no one noticed her presence, despite her hair being the standout pink shade it was.
The bar was, thankfully, what she expected. A mix of incomprehensible smells and tastes, faded stains and spilled drinks, a drunken cloud lingering over certain parts of the bar. There were some cleaner parts of the bar, especially off to the side, but for the most part, it was alcohol and beer. She’d steeled herself for the smell, but even with the expectation, it was still a bit much to endure.
She scanned the patrons. No one she recognized, unfortunately. A few stares here and there, some eccentric folks in groups, a couple with red and blue hair, but no one she recognized. She would’ve hoped to get to talk to someone other than Liz that she was comfortable with, but no dice.
“Aren’t you going...”
She saw eyes, a yellow flicker dancing in the eyes of another. Her vision jumped right to the source, but found nothing in its place.
“...to sing now?” Raora continued, ignoring the hitch in her throat.
“Yeah, yeah, got a program to sing and all that. You should sit over there.” Liz gestured over to the empty bartop counter on the right, close to the stage, before she had to get moving along the line to the front stage. They exchanged a simple nod before parting ways.
That bartop was, on second glance, not empty. Not that it was full in any sense of the word, just that it wasn’t empty. Nor was it really populated at all. It was odd, really, that not a single person was here, even though it absolutely felt like there was.
“Rightrightright I’m on it sorry-!” A girl in a sparkling dress burst from the shadows, practically juggling a couple wine bottles while she stumbled over herself. Pink hair flailed all over her as she frantically shoved the bottles where they needed to be. In a few seconds, she was leaning on the counter like nothing happened. “Hey what’s the order today.”
Raora blinked a couple times, her blue eyes darting from spot to spot behind the counter. “...right,” she mumbled to herself, jumping up to sit on one of the chairs.
“Calliope Mori at your service, sorry I’m late,” the bartender rambled. “I’m trying to keep the pace, but today’s real busy, uh anyway-you can just call me Calli.”
Raora nodded, though all she caught from it was the name Calli. “Yeah. Um, can I have...”
She didn’t bother to glance at the menu, having already checked it with her god eyes before either of them even got there. She didn’t want to get intoxicated in this state, so she had to settle for one of the few non-alcoholic drinks instead. Her current headache was enough as is.
“Not a heavy drinker? Fair ‘nough,” Calli twirled to grab a glass. “You came in with Liz, right?”
“Mm.” Calli was a little fast for her to follow, not to mention the dull pain that’d started to scratch at her skull. In any other circumstance, she’d probably be talking more than her, but...
“We were drinking buddies in college, though I definitely drank more than her-” she let the blood-red liquid fall into the glass, its bubbles drowning out the other sounds around her. “-nice to see her come back to this place.”
Everything felt stilted to Raora. The hiss of her drink was almost deafeningly loud in her ears, and the patrons were nothing but static. She could hear Liz asking the other jazz members questions, but she couldn’t hear her setting up her microphone. She could hear scattered words from conversations surrounding her, but not the piercing clink of their glasses.
Raora settled on a simple “mmhm,” as an answer. She wasn’t sure if there was a question there to begin with, but she went with it.
“Not to pry too much, let me know if I am...” Calli started. Raora looked up to make eye contact and—
-for a fraction of a second, she saw its piercing gaze in Calli’s own. Bright, dangerous eyes of gold that cut through the dark, staring, looming, stalking her like a predator-
—she nearly jumped out of her chair, feeling her own tail straighten in record time. The sound of her chair nearly snapping filled her ears, louder than anything else in the bar.
“...but I mean, it was kinda a bit obvious Liz was gay, anyway, I think everyone knew except her.”
Calli stopped.
“You okay? It looks like you just saw a ghost.” She took a quick glance behind her. “You’re pale as hell.”
Raora shook her head, feeling her skull rattle. “It’s nothing, I’m just...seeing things.”
Calli leaned forward, eyes squinting. “Usually when someone’s just ‘seeing things’ it’s not just ‘seeing things.’ What’s up?”
Raora swallowed. “I just...thought I saw someone—something, behind you.”
She breathed a deep sigh and took a sip of her drink. The taste was indescribable—not in a bad, or a good way, just something unique. The name of what she’d bought had already escaped her, somehow.
It felt as if claws were scratching at her eyeballs, ragged lines raking against her vision. Her nails tingled like they’d just scraped against chalkboard. She wished she was home already.
Liz had started singing at some point. A strong, driving voice that cut through the ambient voices of the bar. Claps and cheers were percussion to her song, a soaring whimsy in irregular time. She couldn’t help but smile, even just a little bit.
“What’d it look like?” Calli pressed. “I’ve seen my share of demons, maybe it’s one of those.”
“It’s...” She took another sip. “It’s, um...”
Something dripped on the back of her neck. A pile of ink practically seeping into her brain, a pile of ink wrapping its sickening, wretched arms around her head, a pile of ink whispering to her something she wished she didn’t hear.
You wouldn’t tell her our little secret now, would you?
“Nevermind, “ Raora choked out. “It’s nothing.” The words spilled out of her mouth before she’d even realized they were there.
“You sure?” Calli stared in suspicion. “It better not be anything dangerous.”
“No, no! It’s okay, it’s just...it’s nothing you should really worry about.”
The cheers and song of the bar came back into Raora’s focus, howling in her ink-stained ears. She leaned on her palm, stealthily covering her ear in the process. She noticed Liz take a quick glance at her from her spot on stage, and—
-another flicker of yellow, an eternal flame of curiosity burning a hole through her crimson heart, wax melted into dust around her, ink bleeding from the edges of the room, swallowed in the jaws of a swirling beast-
—Liz snuck a subtle wink as she sang, swaying her hips to the jumbled rhythm in her ears. She twirled as the song rose in thirds, then back down again. A cacophony of augmented chords, all clashing, yet somehow perfectly in tune.
Raora felt like she was going feral.
Ooh, maybe you could join me! Wouldn’t that be fun? How about it, hm~
She forced her drink down her throat, head tossed back. The glass nearly slipped out of her hand and onto her face, but she caught it before it could fall any further. Her hands were shaking as the glass slammed onto the bar table with more force than Raora meant to put into it.
Her ears twitched at the sound of gossip behind her. The patrons sounded even clearer than ever, to her own dismay.
“Hey, that chick with the pink hair...” One man mumbled underneath his breath to another. “She came in with the other girl, right? What’s her problem?”
“I dunno. You’d think she would be up there too, not sitting at the bar with the newbie,” a girl slurred. “Ooh, you think they’re together? They’re both pink.”
“Both of you are white and I don’t see either of you together.”
Laughter, roaring in her ears, the sound of it too loud to bear. A rising song, a climax in loud, brass fanfares, too shrill for her to stomach. The clink of glasses, again and again. The bubbles of drinks just recently poured. Sounds blending into one, yet all completely separated, clashing in every way imaginable.
Raora growled, her head hung low, hand on her forehead. The counter beneath her was sparkling clean, her own reflection staring back at her in its surface.
Love the eyes, by the way, have I mentioned that? Maybe I made it a little obvious.
Calli spoke up. “Are you sure you’re-”
“I’m fine.”
Calli was more concerned than ever—very understandably so—as she watched Raora spiral at seemingly nothing.
Hey! You wouldn’t call me nothing, would you? I’m just as real as you and her! And her, and him, and...
Raora took another sip. Eyes bored into her skull, at the back of her neck, into her chest, reading the pages of her soul, splayed out for all of it to see.
The glass fell out of her shaking hands, just barely caught by the tip of her tail on its way to the floor. Unceremoniously, the rest of the drink spilled onto the ground, adding yet another drink to the mural of stains they all sat on. She pulled the glass back up onto the table with a trembling sigh.
Calli blinked, an indescribable look in her eyes. She leaned onto the wall nearby, arms crossed in introspection.
“This is your first time drinking, isn’t it?”
Raora looked up, her vision blocked by strands of pink hair.
“But the way you drink, the way you stare into nothing, the way you hold your head in your hands, it’s like you’ve been here before. Something’s gotta be bothering you for you to act like this.”
Raora opened her mouth to object, but Calli’s glare shut her up.
“Liz always talks about you like you’re the best thing to ever happen to her. She described you like the light of her life.” Calli looked away for a brief moment, her gaze directed towards Liz on stage. “But as much as I wanna believe her, I don’t see that in you.”
“Tell me what you’re seeing. I don’t care how absurd it is, tell me. It has to be something.”
Raora buried her hand into her hair, breath escaping through clenched teeth.
Are you really gonna listen to her? Some random bartender they probably picked off the street? We’re besties! And besties don’t share secrets.
She was frozen.
Raora. C’mon now. Listen to me, and-
“-don’t make this more difficult than it has to be.”
Their two voices overlapped for a moment. A forced, maniacal smile forced itself across Calli’s face, amber eyes staring in place of Calli’s own. They stared, taking Raora in like a predator with its prey, studying her in pure, unyielding curiosity.
Raora’s body seized up. Her limbs filled with lead, chills running up her spine, setting her bones ablaze with the fear of a cornered animal. Calli flinched at the terror in Raora’s eyes, quickly pivoting around with a bottle gripped in her hands.
She watched as Calli’s eyes met its gaze, watched as Calli squinted, stepping back as if there was nothing in sight at all.
There was nothing to see.
Nothing at all.
Liz was making her way off stage in the middle of their next performance. Her dress trailed behind her worried steps, weaving through patrons with confused looks, watching, staring, every eye of theirs that same, eerie gold.
She was in front of her before she could realize. “Raora? Raora, are you okay? You’re pale, you’re...”
“She said she’s been seein’ shit Liz, I don’t think she’s alright,” Calli chimed in.
“Raora, you...” Her words trailed off into the dark. She was saying something, but Raora couldn’t hear her. All she knew was that it was watching her.
In every pair of eyes, in every corner, in every square inch of the bar she sat in, it was watching. A thousand stares bore into her skin, a thousand needles stabbing her back, a thousand, trillion thoughts crowding her brain, all screaming the same, one thing she’d hoped, begged not to be true.
The thing that’d invaded her mind, permeated its very existence into every corner of her subconscious, wasn’t a demon or a ghost.
What was staring at her, from every angle, from every miniscule corner of this place, was undeniably human.
And she was watching.
“Raora-!”
Her body was moving on its own. Footsteps beneath her feet, splintered wood against her hands, then the cool air of the outdoors. All she could see were specks of yellow, flickering candles surrounding her every move. Her eyes stung, like claws had torn her cornea to shreds, ink seeping from the cracks in her vision.
She didn’t know where she was running to, but wherever it was, she prayed it was away from any other people. She felt leaves brush against her sleeves, felt rocks against her shoes, heard the trickle of a river, and her own ragged breaths.
Raora was exhausted. She tripped as she slowed down, hands connecting with hard, rough gravel, scratching at her skin. She winced. At least here, there was no one to look at. Maybe it couldn’t see her here.
A familiar voice bubbled from below.
You made quite the scene back there. They were all staring at you, y’know.
Raora screamed, her voice cracking in fear. “No-! Get out!”
But its voice refused to leave. The eyes followed her here, too, thousands of pupils, blinking in and out of sync like a horde of spiders, obscured within the leaves of trees, shining under the reflected moonlight.
It’s rude to call me a voice or an ‘it,’ y’know? I’m all for gender nonconformity, but ‘it’ isn’t quite my thing.
The woods were painfully quiet. Only the lingering echoes of her screams and the imprint of her stalker remained, circling around her, haunting her. Raora wanted to run farther, but she knew it wouldn’t do anything. Still on her knees, she crawled underneath a tree, wincing at the pain in the palms that had broke her fall.
I’m just as human as you! Which is saying something, considering you’re mostly cat.
Raora squeezed her eyes shut, needles stabbing at the pupils underneath her skin. The itch hadn’t gone away. All it did was make her want to tear her own eyes out.
You should do that! I tried it once, it was kinda messy, but it was fun.
She could still barely see, but she was able to fumble in her pockets for her phone. It was buzzing incessantly, Liz’s illegible texts piling up on screen before compressing into one, completely unreadable stack. She didn’t need to be able to see to know Liz was worried.
“Liz,” she choked. The eyes around her shook, almost a laugh.
What can I say? You broke our little rule—not really, but close enough for me—so you pay a little fee for it.
“You-” Raora gritted her teeth.. “I didn’t want to...”
Thanks to you, Liz knows I exist. And soon, she might even find me, and I won’t be able to stay by your side for much longer.
“You don’t get to call her Liz,” Raora hissed. “You-”
A high pitched ring pierced through her ears. She tumbled forward, practically screeching. Her eyes felt like they were boiling, air pushing them from her skull, her eyeballs rolling within their sockets, something wrapping around them in a cold, burning embrace.
Just give it a liiittle longer...
Something was crawling underneath her eyelids. She clutched her eyes, her nails twitching, fighting the urge to rip them out. She could hear the sickening drip and squelch of the thing in her eyes, writhing underneath her hands, curling and twisting, until-
She gasped for air. Her vision was completely clear, not a single anomaly in sight. She was left in momentary silence, nothing but the gentle flow of the river beside her and the soft howl of the wind.
Raora blinked twice. Another time, then another. They were working fine. What did she do? Where was she? The silence almost scared her more than the noise. Her pupils darted around the forest, desperately scanning for something, anything.
I’m flattered, but I assure you, there’s no need to wait for me.
Raora’s breath hitched. “Where-”
Look into your reflection. I’ve left a little gift, from me to you.
Her heart stopped. Slowly, she lifted her phone from the grass she’d dropped it on. In the glass, she saw something. Something, staring at her from underneath the midnight sky.
A girl, her face framed in pink strands of hair,
and a pair of golden, amber eyes,
staring back at her.
//