Chapter Text
Leo had never slept so much in his life. He had never worked so little, he had never felt so empty. Why did he feel so empty?
He was laying in the Bunker 9, all his blueprints and tools laid out like he was meant to use them. He had planned on using them when he came back, but now he couldn’t imagine picking them up. He couldn’t imagine anything other than what he could have done differently that night.
The party was two days ago, Leo had been a little too excited to go. His best friends would be there, and the outfit he had was praised by them both. He’d never felt more comfortable in his own skin than he had the hour before the dance. Well, except when he was next to Jason..
Jason.
“Oh fuck..” He groaned, rolling onto his other side and curling into his chest. The floor underneath him was almost warm from how long he had been lying there.
Normally if he slept in here, it would be at a table after working for five days straight. Now, he was curled up on the floor with pillows and blankets forming a circle around him, like a wall. A wall between him and life.
The Bunker was quiet for the first time since he woke up, and he felt his eyes grow heavy again because of it. The silence was worse than the screaming, because now no one but him was there to do it.
It’s your fault. It’s all your fault.
He closed his eyes as he choked out a breath, the sounds of the amphitheater that night cutting into his thoughts. It left every word wet and red, and thinking about it made his body ache again.
Where was his knife at? He sat up only slightly. He had put it on the other side of his blanket-wall, but he couldn’t find it now. He got up and sat on his heels and a strange pain crept into his ankle.
JG.
The small letters on his ankle felt odd, but not quite like any normal pain. He didn’t even want to call it pain, it was more like an itch. Maybe that’s how scars worked.
He paused, scar? His ankle had a clean cut on it, and he almost felt proud by it. JG. He moved quicker, pulling the waistband of his pants down just enough to see his side.
The cut there was weaker, but it stung more. It took up the entirety of his right hip. The letters were less apparent and the cut was less clean, but you could still make out what it said. JG.
He checked the rest of his carvings, the one on his left wrist, left thigh, right calf, and the small one on the side of his stomach. None of them had turned out the way his ankle had, but he guessed it was fine.
He was awake now, at least the most he had been in two days. So he sighed and got up the rest of the way.
He pulled out his phone, he had actually made it himself. It was a monster-proof device for demigods, since Piper refused to throw her phone out for the “greater good”.
127 unread messages. 5 missed calls.
“Gods damn..” He grumbled, sitting against a pillow on the other side of his blanket wall. He unlocked his phone, 2583.
Blue.
Jason.
He looked at all the different chats, 75 unread messages from “Jason Haters -2”. Fucking hell? Piper, Lee, Addison, Riyah and Rina.
Leo felt his eyes bubbling again. What the fuck was these people’s problem?!
Rina: “Bro JUMP HIM NEOW”
Riyah: “STOMP HIM”
Piper: “CURB STOMP”
Rina: “IMMEDIATELY”
Piper: “LIKE CALIGULA!!”
Lee: “Please”
Rina: “RUN HIM OVER”
Lee: “I can’t rn”
Piper: “GET THE GLOCK”
Lee: “Please don’t do that”
Leo wanted to decompose. He wished he could dissect himself, he would do anything to dissolve. What the hell is wrong with his friends? What the hell is wrong with him ?
Your fault. All your fault.
He clicked out of the groupchat, 52 unread messages.
Hazel: “What the heck Happened?”
Hazel: “Are you okay?”
Hazel: “Sorry for not being there for you.”
Hazel: “I didn’t know what to do tbh.”
Hazel: “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
Hazel: “Who’s in the wrong?”
Hazel: “Leo?”
Hazel: “Answer me please.”
Hazel: “Are you alive?”
5 missed calls from “Hazel. Gem Queen”
Leo sighed, he really didn’t want to talk to her right now. But she was one of his best friends, he had to. Didn’t he? He groaned, he would deal with it later.
36 unread messages.
Piper: “Hey, Leo?”
Piper: “Hey, Dragon?”
Piper: “You okay?”
Piper: “Text back please”
Piper: “Hazel is worried about you”
Piper: “Please be okay.”
Leo shuttered. Of course Hazel talked to Piper. Of course Piper had to pull out the nickname. Of course she was there for him.
30 unread messages. All from one number. JG .
Jason: “What the fuck, Leo?”
Jason: “You told her everything.”
Jason: “Now everyone knows.”
Jason: “I have one question, why?”
Jason: “What about Piper?”
Jason: “Is she going to avoid me? Ghost me? Stop talking to me? Or are we still friends?”
“Are you happy now?”
“You get to have me aaaaallll to yourself.”
“That’s what you wanted”
“No jealousy”
“No competition”
“No nothing”
“Just you and me, right?”
“Fucking shit.”
“We need to talk.”
“In the mean time I'm going to be figuring out how to get back the love of my life.”
“Not even get back”
“Just some fucking how get her to forgive me”
“Have a great weekend.”
Leo was crying before he could even finish reading. He laid back down and curled into the same ball he had been in just a few minutes ago and sobbed.
What was he going to do?
Your fault. All your fault.
Could he ever make it up to the love of his life ..?
You don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve love.
Leo was going to die alone. He was going to die with the love of his life mad at him.
He did nothing against you. You ruined his life.
Leo laid there and cried himself asleep for the millionth time. He prayed he wouldn’t wake up, but the fates had other plans.
He would have to pay for his sins.