Chapter Text
It looked like a whirlwind had taken place. Steve looked around, taking in the piles of boxes and undecipherable tech that were obnoxiously ignoring gravity with the way they were stacked on top of each other.
He’d lost the deal on who had to go and check on Stark. To be honest, he was surprised Stark wasn’t in his usual lab. JARVIS had redirected him to a different one, which looked quite a bit older.
Even though this was where Stark supposedly was, Steve couldn’t find him. He withheld a deep sigh.
“Stark? You in here?”
All he got in response was a muffled thump, a clatter and a curse.
“Stark?”
Suddenly, a head popped out between an upturned filing cabinet and a leaning tower of what could only be defined as junk.
Steve worked to hold in a chuckle. Stark’s hair looked like he’d been electrocuted, which, knowing Stark, wasn’t that farfetched. His face had smudges of who knows what, and his eyes were comically wide.
“Yes. Yep. Present.”
“Stark we just wanted to check in on you. Haven’t seen you in a while.”
Stark’s eyes finally found him from across the room.
“Nothing to check in on. All’s good.”
“You sure? Bruce is making his famous butter chicken.”
Stark waved him off noncommittaly, searching for something.
“Nah, haven’t finished here.”
“Someone can always bring you down a plate later,” Steve nudged.
He was met with silence.
By the looks of it, Stark’s mind was already somewhere else.
Steve stood there for a little longer and then decided that he had made an honourable attempt. He started to turn back around to leave when Stark made a humming sound.
“Spangles?”
Steve’s mouth tightened.
“I’ve asked you not to call me that.”
There was another hum. That made Steve pause. Normally, Stark always latched on when he could aggravate him.
Steve allowed for another pregnant pause before hedging, “Were you going to ask me something?”
Stark’s head twisted back round to him, “What?”
This time Steve couldn’t hold back his sigh, “Were you going to ask me something?”
“Mmmm – yes.” He snapped his fingers twice, “Yes, yep”.
Stark continued ruffling through boxes. Steve had to admit his interest was piqued. There was something that made Stark look a little lost, despite his ever present sharpness. As Stark bent over a box, he reached an arm out behind him and roughly waved to the corner of the room to Steve’s right.
“There’s a box over there I thought might interest you.”
Now Steve was definitely curious. He picked his way through the maze to the corner of the room before realising there was no way to know which box Stark was referring to.
“Any way of knowing which box, Stark?”
“It’s got a jumble of film reels and tapes.”
Steve’s heart jumped a bit. Tapes? Were these old recordings? Of Howard’s? It would make sense. He’d never seen this room before and there was dust everywhere. His eyes landed on the box, where cassettes and tapes leaked out. He crouched next to it, not daring to touch it, to hope, just yet.
As if to confirm Steve’s thoughts, Stark asserted, “That has Howard’s old stuff. Old recordings of his inventions and shit I think. Most probably will have you in it.”
Steve turned to stare at Stark. As if sensing this, Stark turned round. It took a moment for Steve to place what Stark looked like, but he would almost say he looked sheepish.
“Look, I’ve never watched them so I don’t know what’s on there,” He ruffled his hair. “But I’m sure at least some of those tapes have you in it. I have no idea which or even if they work but if you want to spend time rummaging through then it’s all yours.”
Steve thought Stark's attempt at being dismissive was only half-hearted. He noticed how Stark was always on the defensive when offering something, like when he had presented them with new tech, as if they would turn it down.
Steve had also learned by now that Howard was a touchy subject, though he had no idea as to why. So without saying anything he picked up the box almost reverently and made his way out. At the door he said as openly as he could, “Stark – Thank you.”
Stark blinked, as if surprised. Then quickly shrugged and turned back round to his ministrations. “It’s nothing. Probably more yours than mine anyway.”
Steve made his way through the corridor with his hands shaking in anticipation. He was trying to keep his hope at bay, after all, there could end up being nothing in there. And if there was – did he want to see it? Would it hurt too much? That was going to be a risk worth taking. If he had a chance of seeing Buck or Peggy.
***
Steve set up the video reel and then started going through them one by one. It was obvious that they hadn’t been touched in a long time. Some were clipped together and looked to have been prepared. Probably by Howard. The thought struck him hard. Then others were obviously reels that had been discarded or never been watched, not even by Howard.
Steve watched the tapes the rest of the day late into the night. He didn’t really leave his room except quickly for dinner. He was completely encompassed by them, his eyes glued to the screen.
Most actually turned out to be quite boring, just of Howard alone with his work. But there were instances where people he knew appeared. Most importantly, Peggy. He oscillated from pure joy to plummeting with nostalgia and grief at everything he had lost. He was also resigned to the fact that he wasn't going to see Buck, what with the footage all clearly being filmed in Howard's new lab, post war.
The next day he didn’t descend into the common area until early afternoon, having slept-in in the morning, which he never did. There was still some footage left to see, but he decided to drag himself away for some lunch before finishing it off later in the day. When he entered the kitchen, the team was shooting him worried glances without even trying to hide it.
“Look, ever since you went down to see Stark yesterday you’ve hidden yourself away. Did he do or say something? Do we need to go have a chat with him?” Clint interjected.
Steve was taken by surprise. He hadn’t thought about how it would come across to the rest of the team.
“No, no it’s really nothing like that. He gave me a box of Howard’s old stuff, including some tapes. I guess I’ve been taken up by it is all.”
Natasha considered him carefully, “I’m glad you have things to link you to your past. Just be careful not to get stuck there. You have a life here now, too.”
Steve nodded, feeling a slight guilt tug at him. “I know Natasha, thanks.”
He noticed Stark wasn’t with them, as usual. It was weird, he’d seen glimpses of him as a kid in some of the reels. There wasn’t much, as it seemed Howard spent most of his time researching, and it was only when Stark appeared in the lab for a few seconds. He couldn’t really figure out what their relationship had been like.
***
That night, Steve went through more footage. The lab was empty, Howard having probably forgotten he was still recording as he left the lab. After a while Peggy walks in with child Stark. Steve leant forward. It had never occurred to him that of course with Howard's and Peggy's relationship, his son would know her.
Steve’s eyes traced over her, she was as beautiful as always. Then Steve froze.
Did child Stark – child Tony, it had to be Tony, he couldn’t think of him as Stark when he was only a kid – did he just call her Aunt Peggy? Wait wait wait. So this wasn’t a random run-in, which Stark could easily forget. He was close to her. Very close. Steve kept watching them interact, at the adoration on child Stark's face.
Why had Stark never mentioned it? Steve had been very open about Peggy and visiting her but Stark had never shown any sign of recognition. It had already stung that Stark never wanted to talk about his father. Stark was Steve’s only link to Howard and to the past. Now Steve was realising not only that but that Stark had been close to Peggy. He felt his nails dig into his palms. Why would he not tell him?