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Mary felt many things. The first was rage. Rage for the men firing their guns, rage for the mission, rage for the world.
Shannon had wielded the sword, slashing through her attackers and dodging their attacks effortlessly. It was a practiced dance, a lethal choreography in which no one had stood a chance. The bullets whirred past her head as she turned, twisted, spun, the halo gleaming in her back. Another precise hit brought another man down. His body thudded to the ground. Then it happened.
A deafening boom rang out, and for a moment, everything was still. Shannon was almost posing, her arms thrown up in the air, her body captured perfectly in its impossible grace. A second passed, or perhaps an hour, and she was glowing, covered in a soft, blue light. It could have been beautiful if not for the divinium shards that pierced her abdomen.
Her head turned towards Mary, their eyes locking instantly. Mary saw the faintest flicker of a smile, Shannon’s expression akin to peacefulness, a fleeting serenity, before her legs gave way to the ground. The moment was gone.
Mary was charging straight into the fight before she knew what she was doing, vaguely aware of the cry escaping her lips. “Mary, no!” a voice called out behind her, but her legs kept moving. The men were a blur in the background, their badly aimed shots flying in every direction. She could barely see them, barely hear them. It was just Shannon’s limp body on the ground.
The blood pounded in her ears. Her hands shook as she cupped Shannon’s cheeks. “Hey, hey, I’m here. I got you. You’re fine.” Mary’s voice wavered the more she spoke. “Talk to me, Shannon. Please,” she whispered.
“Mary…” Shannon finally responded, her voice hoarse and barely audible.
“I got you.”
Mary grabbed her shotguns and drew the other woman up into her arms. She began to shoot everywhere. Every man she saw, she pulled the trigger again and again and again. The anger, the pure wrath, was a bitter taste in her mouth, an overwhelming force that tugged at her limbs, that coated her mind and lit every thought on fire.
--
“Right hook!” shouted one of the older sisters. The whole group of trainees did the punch in sync, matching up even the small twists of their feet. Mary watched them train from afar, the sound of their grunts slowly fading into the background. She began to drum a simple rhythm with her fingers on the sleek, wooden table as she waited.
Soon enough, Shannon, breathing heavily and forehead slick with sweat, took a seat next to her. “Mary,” she said, her voice strained from exertion.
“Hey. What’s up?” Mary replied casually and gave her a playful bump with her shoulder.
Shannon sighed, biting her lip in what seemed to be frustration. “Nothing, really.”
“You sure? Because you messed up in training today, and the Shannon I know doesn’t do that.” Mary brushed her thumb against the edge of the other woman’s jaw, lightly turning Shannon’s head to face her. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
“Look, I… Do you regret this?”
“Regret what?”
“Everything.”
Mary furrowed her brows, frowning slightly. “Do you?”
“I don’t know.” Shannon averted Mary’s gaze, her eyes now trained on the table. “Ever since I got the halo, I accepted a duty. A mission. And it can only end in one way.”
“What do you mean?” Mary found Shannon’s hand beneath the table and squeezed it, relieved when she felt a squeeze in return.
“Mary. You know what I mean. We’re all going to die for the mission, aren’t we? But it’s not death that scares me. It’s watching my sisters die. It’s my sisters watching me die. You…” She blinked hard, exhaling shakily as she finally met Mary’s gaze.
Mary felt the weight of what had been left unsaid. She shook her head and began to use her thumb to rub small circles on the back of Shannon’s hand. “Fuck the mission. You’re here now, and I am not letting you die at the hands of some demon.”
“But you can’t stop it,” Shannon practically whispered, like it was a secret she was afraid to admit. “That’s how all Warrior Nuns go. How we’re expected to go. You deserve more. Better.”
The silence that followed felt suffocating, the air suddenly so thick that Mary had to force it into her lungs. She lifted her hand to Shannon’s cheek once more, brushing away the tear just starting to fall. Shannon covered Mary’s hand with her own, leaning her head into the other woman’s touch.
“Shannon, you’re one of the strongest people I know. I know you’re not gonna let ‘em take you, not without a damn good fight, and I’ll be right there with you.”
Shannon gave her a weak smile. It was bittersweet, and Mary’s heart ached at how pained her expression looked. “Okay.”
--
“Mary, you have to stop. We have to go,” someone told her, maybe Lilith. Mary was pulled backward, her legs stumbling forward and her mind empty save for a single thought. She held onto Shannon for dear life.
The rest of the sisters were already there when they reached the dark van. Lilith hurriedly pushed Mary into the trunk where Beatrice was waiting, asking something that Mary didn’t hear.
Somewhere along the drive, Shannon was pulled out of her arms and laid down. Mary gripped Shannon’s hand and stared motionlessly as Beatrice attempted basic first aid. No one spoke.
“Shannon is alive,” Mary muttered to herself.
“Mary…” Beatrice turned to her, eyes full of concern.
Mary shook her head and blinked away the tears threatening to spill over. “She is alive.”
When they finally made it to the church, Mary’s mind began to function again, the anger taking over once more. She gritted her teeth and held up Shannon’s shoulders, motioning for Beatrice to take the legs. “C’mon,” she urged.
Beatrice gave her a look but said nothing more. The group rushed into a small, dimly lit room and laid Shannon on the metal operating table in the middle.
“Mary,” Shannon mumbled weakly, desperately.
“It’s okay. We’re here. I’m here. You’re gonna be okay,” Mary reassured her, but she said it more for herself than Shannon. Her hold on the other woman’s hand tightened. Shannon would live. Shannon had to live.
Shannon’s cries as the surgeon examined her body echoed through Mary’s skull, hitting deep in her chest. Mary’s anxiety was drowned out by the sudden white flashes of rage that coursed through her body. How could the world have chosen such a strong, resilient woman to die for such a useless cause, one where she was simply replaced by another like her life had never mattered to begin with? Shannon was so much more than the mission, so much more than the halo. And yet.
The surgeon gave Mary a grim look. “The divinium shards have pierced her organs– they’re keeping her alive. If I remove them… it could kill her.”
“Mary. You know what needs to happen,” Lilith said from behind them.
Mary clenched her fists and turned around to face her sisters. “No. This is Shannon. We are not giving up on her.” She breathed sharply, scanning each of their faces. She was met with only hopelessness.
“Mary, I’m not gonna make it,” Shannon gasped, barely able to get the words out. “Take it out.”
The surgeon, shifting to begin removing the halo, paused immediately. Mary’s shotgun was pointed at her chest. “No. Don’t you dare,” Mary snapped, tears starting to roll down her face.
“Mary.” Shannon’s voice pulled her back, the pain in her voice instantly melting Mary’s resolve. With a groan, Shannon yanked off her small, silver necklace, its circular pendant swinging as she held it up in the air. “Take it.”
Mary lowered the gun, slowly kneeling down to meet the other woman at eye-level. “In this life or the next,” she breathed out, barely holding back a sob. She grabbed the necklace and put it in the pocket of her vest just over her heart.
--
It had been a quiet night. Moonlight streamed through the window, bathing the whole room in its soft glow. The crickets chirped quietly, the sound muted by the Cat’s Cradle’s stone walls stacked high into the air. Everything had felt particularly distant, besides the woman breathing quietly in Mary’s embrace, the rise and fall of her chest.
Blankets were strewn messily around their legs, the rest of their limbs tangled, intertwined with one another. Mary lightly pressed her lips to the side of Shannon’s neck, smiling as the other woman began to stir awake.
“Mary,” Shannon mumbled, her tone annoyed, but her face far too fond to be truly upset.
Mary huffed out a smug laugh before nuzzling her face against Shannon’s shoulder. She began to pepper more kisses around the other woman’s neck, earning her an eye roll and a small grin. She paused for a moment, looking curiously at the silver necklace laying on Shannon’s chest. “You never told me how you got this.”
Shannon stared at the ceiling thoughtfully before she turned towards Mary, shifting so they were laying face to face. “It’s a family heirloom of sorts. My father wore it all the time after he got it from my grandparents, but I didn’t know him very well. He joined the army when I was six.” She began running her fingers through Mary’s hair as she spoke, an unreadable expression on her face. “He… Well, you know this. We got a letter one day that he was shot. His last wish was to send this to my mother.” She touched the necklace and held it close. “My mother gave it to me just before I left for boarding school, and here I am now, I suppose. I haven’t seen her since.”
There was an awkward pause, both women unsure of what to say. Eventually, Mary wrapped her arms around the other woman, pulling her into a tight embrace. They laid like that for a while, neither person speaking, but the silence was comfortable. Mary soaked up every bit of Shannon’s warmth, breathed in the soft scent of her shampoo. It felt like there was nobody else in the world, like time had stopped moving, and they were in their own little bubble where everything was perfect.
“It really has been a while. I guess I accepted that my fate lies elsewhere, as we all did,” Shannon murmured, her breath warm against Mary’s neck.
“Y’know, I think your fate lies right here.” She pressed a kiss to Shannon’s forehead, smiling at the amused scoff that Shannon let out. Mary pulled back, brushing a strand of hair out of Shannon’s face. “So, who are you giving the necklace to, hm?”
Shannon’s smile widened as she leaned in closer. “I guess we’ll have to find out,” she hummed, before planting a kiss on Mary’s lips.
--
Mary wondered if it was the end for her, too. Her eyes burned with salty tears and her chest heaved as she choked back her cries. She could barely breathe, couldn’t think, not when the world was collapsing in front of her.
She helplessly pressed her forehead to Shannon’s chin, grasping her hand like it was a lifeline, an anchor. The waves crashed down, plunging Mary deep beneath the ocean’s stormy surface. She spluttered and gasped for air as another wave pushed her down once more. Shannon was the only thing that kept her afloat, the sun finally peeking out behind the clouds. But the sun was gone now, its light reduced to mere rays that did little to calm the waters. Perhaps it would never return again. Perhaps Mary would drown.
There was more shuffling now, the surgeon pushing Shannon onto her side in order to extract the halo. Shannon let out a muffled groan of pain.
“Shh, shh.” Mary wrapped her arms around Shannon’s neck and held her close. “It’s okay,” she tried to say, but her voice cracked halfway through.
“I– I’m sorry,” Shannon spoke in ragged gasps, each breath labored.
“No. You’re sacrificing your life for us.” Mary looked straight into Shannon’s dark, deep-set eyes that were now glazed with tears. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Mary closed her eyes, and for a moment, she hadn’t just come out of a battle. Shannon didn’t have superpowers or a halo in her back. They were in a small apartment in some city, the lights dimmed and temperature just right. The TV was playing a sappy romance movie or an animal documentary as they sat on the couch, curled up next to each other, Shannon’s head on Mary’s shoulder. They would fall asleep there, waking up in the morning with sore muscles, but it would have been worth it all the same.
But that wasn’t where they were. That was a life tucked far away in another reality.
Shannon inhaled sharply as the device cut into the flesh of her back, grabbing the halo from within. Mary could only watch, biting her lip to stop the tears, to stop every impulse in her body telling her to scream.
“Mary,” Shannon whispered.
“Yeah?”
Though her mouth opened to speak, no sound came out. Shannon just smiled faintly and held Mary’s hand with whatever strength she could muster. Mary understood. She pressed a kiss to Shannon’s palm.
When the surgeon lifted the halo into the air, its heavenly glow illuminated the whole room. It was almost as beautiful as Shannon.
Mary stared at it in momentary awe before looking down at the woman whose hand had now gone limp, whose eyes were open but motionless. She looked at the woman who had once been the earth, the sky, the breeze, and everything good in the world, the woman who was now nothing.
Pulling Shannon’s eyes closed, Mary gazed at her one last time. She seemed peaceful. She seemed free.