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Jason doesn’t like shifting much these days; now he rivals Bruce in height and size, and is bigger than the rest of the family, he doesn’t often like feeling small. But there are some days where his body doesn’t feel like his own; days where he’s aware of how big he got following the pit, days where his limbs feel too long and he keeps misjudging the distance between himself and other objects. Those days, he wants nothing more than to feel small again. Those days, he shifts.
Today is one of those days; from first thing in the morning, to his mid-day shopping trip, then to patrol, which ended with him fumbling a landing because he misjudged the distance and then having to fend off Bruce’s well-meaning but very annoying worried fussing.
Jason stumbles through his window, shucking his gear throughout the apartment to his bedroom with barely a thought to remember to clear it up later. He pulls his coat out from its hiding place under his bed and makes a beeline to the bathroom to run a lukewarm bath. He tried a hot bath once, in the jacuzzi tub in the manor where he had slightly more room to manoeuvre, and he’d nearly given himself heatstroke, or whatever the seal equivalent is. Alfred gave him a stern talking to after about how the insulation in his coat and blubber meant he had to stick to lukewarm at the warmest.
He strips down the rest of the way, barely paying attention to the few new bruises and cuts he gained on patrol, and stops the water when the bath is full enough. He steps into the water, pulls his coat around his shoulders and pulls the hood up.
The sensation of shifting is something he still doesn’t know how to describe in words; it’s like nothing else he’s ever felt, it feels like home.
The water envelops him and he takes a breath through his nose before completely submerging and curling up in the corner of the tub. Everything feels easier as a seal, he doesn’t have to pay attention to pesky human worries. But most of all, his body feels like his again.
Selkies are rare these days; forced into near extinction for their coats or worked to death for their fishing ability. The ones that remain hide what they are at all costs. Jason’s dad might not have been the best person, but he cared enough to make sure Jason had the tools he needed to survive in a world that saw him as a commodity. He taught him how to disguise his coat, how to make sure no one would ever doubt he was human, how to blend in with people he didn’t think he belonged with.
Then his dad went away and didn’t come back.
And then his mom died and Jason was forced to choose between a life on the streets and the exploitation that came with Gotham’s foster care.
Living on the streets was hard; there were always people who wanted everything he had, including the red hoodie on his back. Keeping his coat safe became a priority over everything, over shelter and even over food. It was exhausting, and took everything from him: he’d been so close to just giving up when he spotted the batmobile unattended in an alley.
Bruce was hope when Jason had none, but he was also very aware of how Gotham’s elite historically treated his kind. He swore he would never let Bruce know what he was, but the full size pool in the manor’s grounds was too tempting. Jason had never been able to swim before. His dad taught him to shift in the tiny bath in their apartment and occasionally, in moments that became some of Jason’s best memories, shifted with him. But being able to actually swim, to put his flippers to use and just glide through the water in the same way he’d watched Dick glide through the air, it was something else entirely.
So, he got greedy.
It was Dick who caught him, on one of the rare occasions he actually stayed the night at the manor. Jason wasn’t quite as quiet as he thought sneaking out and Dick followed him. He freaked the older boy out when he dived into the pool and didn’t resurface, so Dick dived in after him and discovered his secret. He convinced Jason to tell Bruce, and Bruce promised he’d keep him and his coat safe.
Bruce broke that promise.
But swimming with Dick in the manor pool following that night were memories Jason kept tucked in his ribcage along with his dad shifting with him and his mom’s smile.
“You hungry?” Dick asks as he drops down to sit next to Jason on the edge of the roof where he’s watching the working girls. He’s already got a bag of food with him that bears the Batburger logo on the side, and he sets it down next to Jason on the ledge as he sits down too.
“Did you Jokerise the fries?” Jason asks, already reaching into the bag to pull out one of the box meals.
“I still don’t understand how you can eat those, you know, after… everything.” Dick says, making a vague gesture with his hand.
“Because they taste good, regardless of their shitty name.” Jason says before shoving several fries in his mouth.
Dick rolls his eyes, but Jason can see him smothering a smile as he takes a bite out of his own burger.
“Soooo, what do you want?” Jason asks once the food is gone and they’ve shoved all of the trash back into the bag.
Dick swings his legs as he looks out over the city. “What makes you think I didn’t just want to spend time with you?”
“If you wanted that, you’d have waited until I was home to stop by, but you didn’t.” Jason points out. Jason’s apartment has become a kind of a neutral ground between them, they don’t discuss anything relating to capes there, they do that on patrol or at Dick’s place.
Dick hums and stays silent for several beats, clearly thinking through whatever he wants to say. “I just… Bruce asked me to check in after what happened the other night. You never miss landings and he’s worried—I’m worried.”
“I’m fine, Dickie. It was just an off day, you know? Like everyone has. You and Bruce wouldn’t be bothering with this if it was any of the other brats.” Jason huffs. He doesn’t snap, purely because it’s Dick asking, not Bruce. This thing with Dick that’s started recently is strange, it’s like they’re in a sort of limbo between not-just-friends and not-quite-dating, and Jason’s lack of experience means he has absolutely no idea how to navigate it.
“I would. We might be a little more… overprotective of you compared to the baby birds, but I’d be just as worried about them, Bruce too.” Dick says softly.
Jason shakes his head, but chooses not to say anything else, not in the mood for an argument. He switches topic instead. “I think Black Mask is getting a shipment into the docks tonight, wanna tag along?”
“When would I ever say no to that?” Dick smiles wide in the way that would make his eyes gleam in a slightly psychotic way if it wasn’t for his domino.
Jason wakes to fingers tracing down the bare line of his spine, from the base of his neck to where the bed sheets are bunched at his waist and then back again, before they skim over the edge of the bandage over his ribs.
“What happened here?” Dick whispers, his fingers moving on to trace the bandages around his left wrist and hand, and the bandaids on his fingers.
“Jumpy street kid managed to get me with a knife while I was out in civvies, and I sprained my wrist the other night punching a mugger in the face. Some of the padding in my glove was compromised, I’ve taken care of it.” Jason says, his voice raspy from sleep as he turns his head on the pillow so he can look at Dick, who is propped up on his elbow watching him. “You staying for breakfast?”
Dick’s expression stutters and he averts his eyes. “I can’t, I said I’d grab some on the way over to the Clocktower, Babs has some info to give me about the Maronis.”
“Oh.” Jason says, and he hates it, hates how small his voice sounds. So he does what he always does and goes on the defensive. “The fuck did you wake me up for then?”
Dick’s mouth opens, and just for a moment Jason thinks this is finally it, that Dick’s going to do what Jason isn’t brave enough to and put an end to this game of chicken they’re playing and actually define their relationship. But then he pushes himself up and averts his eyes, like so many times before. “Didn’t want you to wonder where I’d gone.”
“Could have left a note.” Jason grumbles, disappointed in both of them as he turns his head back to look at the wall.
He hears Dick sigh and feels it as the bed dips and he climbs out, followed by the rustle of clothing as Dick gets dressed.
“I…” Dick starts and then stops again, but Jason still doesn’t turn to look at him. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jason hums in answer as he buries his face in his pillow and tries not to listen to Dick leaving.
No one has mentioned what he is since he first started working with the family again and Tim asked about his coat. Jason’s temper was still shot back then, so he’d snapped that maybe they should ask Bruce because he had no idea where it was in an attempt to stop them pressing further. Instead, Bruce had gone sheet white and immediately called Clark to try and pull it out of Jason’s grave, only to find nothing. Jason had still been in a mindset where he wanted Bruce to feel guilty, so he let him think it was lost and had snapped at everyone that tried to bring it up since. So as far as the family were concerned, Jason hasn’t shifted since he was a child and he isn’t in a rush to put that notion to bed anytime soon.
He gets the urge to shift again three weeks after the last time, three weeks after he last saw Dick. Dick’s been caught up in the Maroni case he’s been working on for a while, so Jason hasn’t even seen him in passing. He doesn’t have an issue with that, just the fact that he doesn’t know if he hasn’t seen Dick because of the case, or because of what happened last time they were in the same room. It’s that thought repeating in his head that makes him want to shift again, to enjoy the way being in his seal form prevents him overthinking and smoothes out his emotions. So, he curls up in the corner of the bath, surrounded by lukewarm water and just… drifts.
Which is probably why he isn’t aware someone else is in his apartment until a shadow falls over him.
He squeaks and lashes out as two hands pluck him out of the water, his teeth catching flesh and digging in. Only the person holding him doesn’t even flinch and he sees exactly why as he’s pulled out of the water and held in front of Dick’s face.
Dick is sheet white, looking every bit like he’s seen a ghost, and Jason can feel his hands shaking where they’re pressed into his fur. That does not stop Jason being incredibly annoyed about being held like a baby he very much isn’t anymore, so he makes his displeasure known by shrieking in the way that means ‘go away, I’m dangerous’.
But Dick just looks at him with tears in his eyes and speaks in the softest voice imaginable. “Little wing?”
Jason makes a humming squeaking noise in response and Dick just crumples to the floor and cradles Jason against his chest. Jason snorts and makes an indignant noise, but he’s not that much of a dick to shift back and possibly crush Dick on the bathroom floor.
“You’re still so… tiny.” Dick says, his voice thick, apparently not caring that Jason’s fur is soaking his shirt.
Jason grumbles and Dick laughs, gently petting through the fur in-between his eyes. Jason (reluctantly) leans into it and lets himself go boneless over Dick’s lap. Dick continues petting him for a while longer, until Jason’s teetering on the edge of sleep, before he nudges him. “Can you shift back please? I think we need to talk.”
Jason gives an annoyed whine as he flops off of Dick’s lap and moves far enough away so he can shift back. He keeps his coat over his lap, knowing he shouldn’t still be embarrassed about Dick seeing him naked, but also not being able to stop it. “Did you even knock?”
“I did actually, for about ten minutes before I got worried and picked your lock.” Dick says with a shrug that shows he’s not that ashamed about it. His eyes flicker down to the coat in Jason’s lap. “It’s still white.”
Jason runs his fingers through the soft fur of his coat, keeping his eyes on it as he talks. “I—Talia thinks it stopped ageing when I died, and it wasn’t with me, when she threw me in the pit, so… It’s just stuck I think. Nothing I can do to change it.”
“You said you didn’t have it.” Dick says softly.
Jason snorts. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly on the best of terms with Bruce when we had that conversation, and I haven’t really been dying for the rest of the family to know since.”
Dick looks like he wants to say something about Jason still keeping it from Bruce, but then thinks better of it and shuts his mouth. “I think about it, you know, the time we used to spend in the pool back at the manor, the admittedly few times I came round. I was swimming the other day and all I could think about was how happy you used to be in the water. Have you been swimming recently?”
“No.” Jason admits quietly. The waters around Gotham are far too polluted to even consider it, even with his enhanced resistance from the pit, and it’s not like he can just go down to the local swimming pool. Jason wants to wipe the sad look Dick gives him off the older man’s face.
“I did actually bring food. I’m not happy with how we left things last time, and I know we haven’t seen each other for the past few weeks because of the Maroni case, but I was hoping we could eat and talk.” Dick says, running a hand through his hair.
“Okay.” Jason replies without really having to think about it.
Dick smiles in the way that lights up the whole room. “Great. I’ll go see if anything needs reheating while you get dressed.”
Jason tightens his grip on Dick’s hand as the older man leads him out of the patio doors and to the pool. “What if someone comes back?”
“They won’t. I told Alfred if he managed to keep everyone out all day that I’d take a week off work and spend it here so he could feed me proper food.” Dick says as he tosses his towel on one of the sun loungers and starts stripping down to his swim trunks.
Jason snorts and pulls his hoodie off, willing it to stop camouflaging and take its natural form. He sets it down next to his towel as he pulls the rest of his clothes off. Dick smiles at him before he jumps in the pool, not even trying to limit the amount of splash. Jason shakes his head fondly as he grabs his coat and steps up to the edge of the pool as Dick pops back up. He runs his fingers over the white fluff of his coat before slinging it over his shoulders and pulling the hood up.
Dick swims back over to the side and pulls himself up on his forearms with a smile. “You’re still so cute.”
Jason grumbles and snaps his teeth at Dick’s hand, but Dick just laughs and kicks off the side again. Jason slips into the water far more gracefully than Dick had, content to sink to the bottom and let himself savour being surrounded by more water than he has been in a long time. He darts off for the other end of the pool; a little shaky at first, but then he gets back into the hang of it and it feels as freeing as it used to. He swims a lot more laps, occasionally popping up to wind round Dick’s legs or splash him as the older man laughs.
He’s missed it, more than he realised.
Once they’ve tired themselves out (Jason, given he’s still stuck in a tiny body as a seal with the lack of energy that comes with it) and started getting cold (Dick, given he doesn’t have fur and a protective layer of blubber like Jason in seal form), they climb out, wrap their towels around their shoulders and sit on the edge of the pool with their legs in the water. Jason smoothes his fingers through his coat where it’s lying across his lap as Dick leans into him and rests his head on his shoulder.
“Thanks for convincing me to do this.” Jason says softly.
Dick smiles up at him, less blinding than his usual smile, but no less sweet. “No worries. I told you, you’re not the only one who missed it.”
“We should get going before everyone comes back.” Jason says, even though he doesn’t want to move.
Dick hums. “Come to my place for dinner?”
“You cooking, Dickiebird?” Jason asks with a raised eyebrow.
“I can throw something together.” Dick says with a thoughtful look.
“In that case, okay. I’m getting tired of take-out food.”
“Asshole.” Dick says, smacking Jason’s arm as Jason laughs, but the smile on his face doesn’t dim.
Jason matches the smile and, before he can overthink it, he leans down and kisses him. He can feel Dick’s surprise, but then the older man kisses back and reaches up a hand to tangle into Jason’s hair.
“I think dinner should be a proper date.” Jason says as they pull back, tired of them dancing around the obvious and finally willing to take the first step.
“Yeah,” Dick’s smile grows. “I think it should too.”