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English
Series:
Part 1 of DAREDEVIL_OG's Chatfics And Twitter Fics
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Published:
2025-03-21
Updated:
2025-04-17
Words:
1,078
Chapters:
5/?
Comments:
5
Kudos:
42
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4
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1,104

Dumb Ways To Die

Summary:

sooooo i just took all my favorite characters and threw them into a group chat. enjoy!

also i will be making a rewrite that will be slightly less chaotic and will contain

Peter
Matt
Five
Harry
Alastor
Lloyd
Lucifer
Mark
Nimona
Dexter
Hunter
Dick
Bucky
Wade

I had planned to narrow it down a bit more, or stick to one person per universe but heheheeee i kinda failed in that department

anyway, im gonna keep this version up but i will make a new one that will hopefully be a bit less scripted.

Notes:

Okay so heres the people and their timelines

Boat Snack: me
Spooder-Man: peter. post nwh
Hornhead: matt. post dd season three but that will change as we get more episodes of born again
Cinco: five. post season three, except they still had their powers after
Pottah: harry. post book five and sirius lives
Ace In The Hole: alastor, post hh but might be post s2 if im still working on this when it comes out
Horsies <3: blitz. same as alastor, just season three
Green Bean: post DR s2 p2. will change when DR 3 comes out
Daddy Issues: lucifer. post season four, might change as i watch more of the show
Duct Tape Man: mark. will change once i finish season three
Creepy Muthafucka: dexter. post s2, again will change as i watch more
Smallville: clark. post MAWS
H Bomb: harley. post s4 but might be a bit wacky cuz i havent watched it in a while
Dee Pee UwU: wade. post dp and w

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Daddy Issues

Summary:

introductions and daddy issues

Chapter Text

Boat Snack has created Dumb Ways To Die  

 

Boat Snack has added Spooder-Man, Hornhead, Cinco, Pottah, Horsies <3, Ace In The Hole, Green Bean, Daddy Issues, Duct Tape Man, Creepy Muthafucka, Dickwing, Smallville, H Bomb and Dee Pee UwU to Dumb Ways To Die  

 

 

Horsies <3: the fuck is this?  

 

Pottah: havent the foggiest  

 

H Bomb: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GROUP CHAT!!!!!  

 

Cinco: thats it. Im finally killing myself  

 

Spooder-Man: Nooooooooo dont do dat!  

 

Ace In The Hole: aM i DoiNG tHIS RiGHt  

 

Smallville: ...no  

 

Hornhead: what is this question mark i have work to do period  

 

Dee Pee UwU: DOUBLE DEEEEEEE 
 

Hornhead: fuck period  

 

Cinco: alright. What the fuck is this!!!!!  

 

Boat Snack: jeezus, chill bro  

 

Hornhead: blaspheme period  

 

Boat Snack: fuck you  

 

Boat Snack: its a group chat, u kno, so u can communicate, trauma bond, talk about your daddy issues  

 

Smallville: yeah right, we dont have daddy issues  

 

Dee Pee UwU: well actually  

 

Duct Tape Man: now that you mention it...  

 

H Bomb: i mean technically,  

 

Dickwing: hahahahaha  

 

Creepy Muthafucka: hate to break it to you  

 

Daddy Issues: its in my bloody name  

 

Green Bean: HahAHAhAhaHahA  

 

Ace In The Hole: hmmmmmm  

 

Horsies <3: i mean kinda  

 

Cinco: bold assumption  

 

Spooder-Man: u really shouldnt say stuff like that  

 

Hornhead: i will neither confirm nor deny that statement period  

 

Smallville: WHAT THE FUCK?!  

 

Smallville: what did ur dads do to you?  

 

Dee Pee UwU: he was an abusive piece of shit!  

 

H Bomb: sold me out to the mob  

 

Dickwing: taught me how to beat the shit out of the mentally insane  

 

Creepy Muthafucka: taught me how to kill people  

 

Duct Tape Man: almost killed me and then ran off and had another kid  

 

Daddy Issues: banished me to hell  

 

Green Bean: tried to kill me a lot  

 

Ace In The Hole: WhaT DEe pEe sAId  

 

Horsies <3: he just sucked ass  

 

Cinco: had us fight crime  

 

Spooder-Man: every father figure ive ever had has died!  

 

Hornhead: got himself killed period  

 

Pottah: blimey. And i thought my life was fucked up