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White sheets draped over a lifeless body, pale skin frozen, untouched by life’s warmth. Not even a single breath escaped him.
A trembling hand reached out, fingertips brushing against his icy cheek. A slow, disbelieving whisper broke the silence. “...Nilly?”
No answer.
But he kept talking, as if the soul still clung to the body, as if his words alone could tether it here.
“Hey, wake up.” He gave a soft pat on his cheek, the warmth already fading beneath his fingertips.
“Come on, this isn’t funny.” A hollow laugh escaped him, cracking under the weight of fear. “I know you are still mad at me, but…” His smile was forced, stretched too wide to hide the way his lips quivered.
“Can you open your eyes and say something? Anything?”
Silence.
Yet, he stayed, waiting for an answer that would never come. Reality had already unraveled before him, but still he refused to believe it. His fists clenched, nails digging into his palms as he stared. He’d wake up, telling all of this is just a silly little prank.
He was sure of it.
“Shadow Milk.” One of his friends, Burning Spice tapped his shoulder, hesitant and almost cautious. “You can’t keep deceiving yourself.” His voice was low but firm. Every word he poured out was a loaded gun, but there was no way around it.. “He’s…gone.”
The air felt too thick. Burning Spice didn’t move a spot, waiting for the upcoming explosion.
Shadow Milk’s face darkened, but his smile didn’t waver. “What are you talking about?” His voice was light, almost amused. “He’s just sleeping, he barely sleeps. This little fool, he never-”
A sudden, violent yank on his collar cut him off. His breath caught as he was dragged forward.
“COME TO YOUR SENSES, CAN’T YOU SEE?” Burning Spice yelled with fury. His other hand shot out, pointing toward the still, unmoving figure on the bed. “PURE VANILLA IS DEAD!”
The words slammed into Shadow Milk like a punch to the gut, his eye twitched–just for a second.
A fist met flesh, and Burning Spice crumpled to the ground. The smile that graced Shadow Milk’s face vanished, leaving behind only a shadow of something darker. He grabbed Burning Spice and pulled him up, ready to strike once more.
His fist stopped midway when he noticed someone standing at the door, silently watching.
Their eyes locked, neither looking away. In that gaze, something shifted. At last, White Lily spoke, “Burning Spice is right, Shadow Milk.”
His stomach dropped. His hands, so ready to strike, suddenly felt weightless. “You too?” He murmured, a tremor of disbelief. His fingers loosened, letting go of Burning Spice as he stumbled back a few steps.
White Lily turned away, her voice trembling. “ He’s not coming back.”
She pressed a hand to her mouth, but it couldn’t hold back the sobs threatening to escape. “You must accept the truth.” Her silent cries filled the space between them.
Something inside Shadow Milk snapped.
A shattering sound tore through the room–glass exploding into fragments.
“SHUT UP!” He roared.
He lashed out, knocking over anything within reach–breaking, smashing, destroying. The only way to drown out the fire raging inside him. “SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!”
His voice echoed, but the truth remained unshaken.
And it was killing him.
Footsteps pounded towards him.
Screams rang in his ears.
Hands grabbed at him, restraining.
‘Pure Vanilla is dead.’
‘You can’t keep deceiving yourself.’
‘You must accept the truth.’
Accept the truth, they said?
Heh. A dark chuckle escaped his lips.
Like hell I would.
~♧~
“Shadow Milk?”
Shadow Milk blinked, the teacher’s voice cut through the haze of his thoughts, snapping him back to reality. “Can you solve this question?” The teacher asked.
He stood up without a word, ignoring Burning Spice and Eternal Sugar’s quiet laughter as he made his way to the front.
In less than a minute, the answer was on the board. The teacher studied it for a moment before nodding in approval and clapping his hands. “Magnificent, as expected from a top student like you.” He coughed slightly, his expression shifting into a frown. “However, I do hope you still pay attention in class.”
Shadow Milk let out a long sigh, a bored smile tugging at his lips. “Yes, Sir Espresso.”
Such an easy question.
Of course.
He had already solved it before.
Because time had turned back.
He came back in time to a month ago.
The day when he lost him.
When Pure Vanilla was-
“Are you still going to stand here?”
Espresso’s question pulled him out of his thoughts again. He was still staring at Shadow Milk, confusion written all over his face.
Shadow Milk scratched the back of his head, feeling a little embarrassed. He went back to his own seat, shooting a glare at both Burning Spice and Eternal Sugar who were still silently laughing.
He picked up a pencil and scribbled on a blank sheet of paper.
Time travel.
The thought lingered in his mind. He had never imagined that something so weirdly, straight out of fantasy could happen to him.
The last thing he remembered was the night before he was thrown into the past. He had been having a sleepover with his friends–though, having might be the wrong word. They had practically broken into his apartment.
‘We were worried about you, Shadow Milk.’ That was Silent Salt’s excuse he got from, for their uninvited visits.
In the end, he kicked them all out after an argument. But, he didn’t really care, it was nothing more than needless drama.
He didn’t remember what happened next. All he knew was that he had gone to sleep, expecting another boring day.
But now, here he was–waking up in his bed as usual. Except this was in the past!
The bell rang across the classroom. Espresso shut his book with a light thud and announced. “Alright, class is over!”
Cheers erupted as students began packing their things.
A loud yawn came from behind.
“Ahh, finally, school’s over!”
Eternal Sugar strolled over, grabbed a chair and plopped herself between Burning Spice and Shadow Milk’s tables. She flashed a bright smile.
“Do you guys want to hang out later? Mystic Flour said a new restaurant just opened near her place.” She leaned back, stretching her arms with a lazy sigh. “I wasn’t interested at first, but she said she’d treat us.” She winked at them playfully.
Burning Spice shouted in excitement, while Shadow Milk quickly stood up and shook his head. “Nah, I have something to do.” Eternal Sugar raised an eyebrow at him, clearly confused.
“That’s…odd from you.” She mumbled, scratching her chin below as if trying to figure him out. Shadow Milk never turned down an invite. “Where are you going?” She asked in curiosity.
Shadow Milk stopped in his tracks as a realization hit him.
What is he supposed to do?
The time travel, the exact date he had returned to, the specific event that was about to happen.
Pure Vanilla is going to-
“Have any of you seen Pure Vanilla?” He asked suddenly.
From the moment he woke up until now, he hadn’t seen him. Not even when he purposely passed by the other class, hoping to catch a glimpse.
Pure Vanilla’s seat remained empty.
The thought of him, the fact he hadn’t seen him all day, made Shadow Milk uneasy.
“Oh, I think I saw him earlier.”
Shadow Milk’s head snapped up. He slammed his hands on the table, making both Burning Spice and Eternal Sugar jump.
“Where?!” he demanded.
“I…uh….” Burning Spice hesitated, his uncertainty making Shadow Milk huffed in annoyance. Just as he was about to yell, Eternal Sugar suddenly pointed outside.
“Isn’t that Pure Vanilla?” She said, nodding toward the window.
In an instant, like a gust of wind, Shadow Milk rushed to the window, searching desperately.
His eyes locked onto a familiar figure.
Blonde hair catching the light, the warm smile he hadn’t seen in what felt like forever.
His stomach twisted. His pulse quickened.
The last thing he remembered about him was the pale skin, lips slightly parted, eyes shut forever.
That image had burned itself into Shadow Milk’s mind.
Without a second thought, Shadow Milk dashed out of the classroom, ignoring Eternal Sugar’s shouts behind him.
If he was truly granted a second chance.
The chance to change Pure Vanilla’s future.
Running as fast as he could while rushing down the stairs, a smile spreading across his face for the first time ever.
He would gladly accept it.
He reached the school’s exit and there he was.
Pure Vanilla was standing there under the sunlight. Smiling like nothing had changed.
Shadow Milk’s heart sang, a frantic rhythm not just from the sprint, but from the sight of him–breathing, warm and real.
I will save you.
With the biggest smile he could muster, Shadow Milk shouted his name, waving excitedly.
The reunion he had dreamed of, his lost one had finally found.
No matter what it costs me.
~♧~
“You want to walk home together?” Pure Vanilla asked.
Shadow Milk nodded, “Why, of course! I don’t have any plans. Plus, with all the weird stuff happening lately, it’s probably safer if we accompany each other.”
He let out a dramatic sigh, resting a hand on his forehead. “For both of our sakes, I insist.” He sneaked a glance at Pure Vanilla, waiting to see his reaction.
Originally, Shadow Milk was supposed to accept Eternal Sugar’s offer to hang out with the others. While Pure Vanilla…
Well, he didn’t really know what had happened to him that fateful day–aside from that accident.
The accident that took him away.
Shadow Milk suddenly grabbed Pure Vanilla’s hands, the grip unexpectedly tight making him caught off guard.
“Soooo, what do you say, Nilly?” Shadow Milk’s voice sounded playful but there was an edge to it. “Surely, you won’t let your dearest friend walk home alone, right? ”
He laced their fingers together, squeezing a little too firmly. “I don’t like being alone, y’know.” His eyes glinted with something unreadable as he wiggled his eyebrows, masking whatever lay beneath.
He had to make Pure Vanilla say yes. He had to stop it from happening.
The only thing he needed to do was to prevent a certain event. And that was it! Happy ending!
There were no words from Pure Vanilla at first, until he spoke. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can go with you.”
The instant rejection made Shadow Milk’s smile falter.
He frowned, gripping Pure Vanilla’s hands tighter. “Why not?!” He bursted out, a raw edge of desperation slipping through. “I haven’t seen you all day. Don’t you know how much I worried about you?” His teeth clenched in frustration.
He won’t let the same future repeat itself.
He won’t lose him again.
Never. Again.
“S-Shadow Milk, you are griping me too tight.”
The faint whisper cut through the haze in Shadow Milk’s mind like a knife. His gaze dropped, realizing his fingers were digging into Pure Vanilla’s wrists.
He released them immediately. Two faint red marks remained, a silent testament to his desperation. The air between them grew heavy with tension.
He exhaled sharply, frustration simmering beneath his breath. “Pure Vanilla.”
Pure Vanilla stiffened at the way his name was spoken–low, firm, almost commanding. Something felt wrong.
Shadow Milk’s hands found his shoulders, gripping them with quiet urgency. “You can’t go alone.” His narrowed eyes locked onto Pure Vanilla’s, sharp and unyielding.
“I have plans with White Lily.”
Oh?
Shadow Milk’s grip loosened slightly, but his piercing gaze remained onto Pure Vanilla. There was something unsettling about the way he was staring.
Pure Vanilla shifted under the weight of it, then forced himself to continue. “We’re supposed to go to the bakery.” His fingers fidgeted at his sides. “It’s for the school ceremony next week. We’ve been busy preparing everything.”
Huh, that explained why he had been missing the whole day.
Shadow Milk let the thought settle, but something felt off. A nagging itch in the back of his mind.
Wasn’t Pure Vanilla supposed to go home alone? White Lily herself said so.
His eyes darted around, scanning the area, searching for someone. His voice came slow, edged with suspicion. “If that’s really true, then where’s your little best friend right now?” He folded his arms, gaze still pining the shorter man in place.
Pure Vanilla refused to meet his eyes. His head turned slightly, as if searching for an escape. Nervous energy radiated off him.
“Pure Vanilla!”
The sharp voice cut through the tension. Both of them whipped around
White Lily was running toward them.
“Ah, there you are! I was looking at you everywhere.” White Lily smiled at Pure Vanilla before she noticed Shadow Milk. His eyes were already on her, irritation flickering beneath the surface.
Her frown deepened. “...And Shadow Milk.” She mumbled, her voice laced into confusion.
Shadow Milk tilted his head ever so slightly, his lips curving into something that wasn’t quite a smile.
“Yes, hello to you too.” He hummed, his voice dripping with mockery, almost sing-song.
He draped an arm around Pure Vanilla’s shoulder, making him flinch slightly. “I heard you had plans with Vanilly here.” His gaze flicked downward to Pure Vanilla, who still refused to meet his eyes, shifting nervously. “He even rejected me for you.” He let out a deep sigh, almost wounded.
White Lily’s eyes flicked between them before locking onto Pure Vanilla’s. The unease in his eyes was clear. She got the message.
“Yes, we do!” She said quickly.
Without hesitation, she grabbed Pure Vanilla’s arm and pulled him out of Shadow Milk’s grasp. “That’s why I was looking for you everywhere.”
She stepped in front of him, blocking Shadow Milk’s view as she pushed Pure Vanilla back. “We’re already late. We need to go now.”
Before Shadow Milk could react, she seized Pure Vanilla’s hand and hurried off, walking faster than ever.
Shadow Milk was going to stop them until he noticed something.
The event had changed.
Pure Vanilla didn’t go alone and White Lily was with him.
Perhaps, it is already changing the future.
He clenched his jaw. No, it wouldn’t be that easy. He couldn’t take any chance as he knew fate didn’t change that easily. His fingers curled into fists. He had to be sure if Pure Vanilla was truly safe.
Slowly, he stepped forward, trailing behind them. Hoping they wouldn’t notice.
“What happened back there? Is Shadow Milk hurting you?” White Lily asked, concern etched across her face as they walked through the alley. If anything had happened, she would make sure Shadow Milk never saw the light of the day again.
Pure Vanilla quickly shook his head, waving his hands. “No! He was just asking me to walk home with him.” White Lily blinked. She didn’t expect it was just a simple request.
In the distance, Shadow Milk followed silently, keeping to the dark as he eavesdropped.
Pure Vanilla let out a weary sigh. “It’s just the way he acted earlier.” He hesitated before mumbling, “He kinda…scared me a little.”
Ouch.
It felt like a knife to Shadow Milk’s chest.
Was he really that terrifying? He liked to think of himself as, at worst, mysterious, maybe intense–but scary? That just felt absurd.
White Lily nodded in approval and smiled, trying to reassure him. “Is that why you try to avoid him?” She asked, gently rubbing his back.
She had planned to tell Pure Vanilla earlier that she had work to finish at school. But seeing how tense he was around Shadow Milk, she changed her plans immediately.
She’d just ask Golden Cheese to handle the unfinished work later.
“No…that’s not it…”
White Lily frowned, tilting her head in confusion. A few feet away, Shadow Milk who had been sulking–froze, ears perked.
Pure Vanilla bit his lips, his fingers twitching at his sides. The words sat heavy on his tongue, feeling uncertain.
White Lily watched him, being patient and all.
Meanwhile, Shadow Milk pressed against the wall, nails digging the surface. Desperate to hear every word.
He exhaled, closing his eyes. “I think it’s because I-”
Before he could finish, someone sprinted past and crashed into him, right into his side.
Shadow Milk bit back the urge to scream. His hands flew to his hair, gripping it like a man on the verge of a breakdown. ‘Who the hell just interrupted the most important moment of my life?!’.
Pure Vanilla quickly bowed, panic in his voice. “Ah! I’m so sorry, sir! Are you alright?” He reached out, offering a hand to help the man up.
But the man didn’t take it.
He was shaking–his eyes darting around like a cornered animal as if he had just escaped his worst nightmare. One hand clutched something tightly beneath his coat.
A strange uneasiness settled inside Shadow Milk’s gut. His muscles tensed and his pulse pounded in his ears.
Something about this man felt wrong.
And Pure Vanilla was too close. Too vulnerable.
He needed to get him out of there. Now.
Shadow Milk sprang from his hiding place. But before he could reach him.
The man lunged.
Something shiny flashed in his hands. A sliver of metal, sharp and deadly.
Pure Vanilla staggered, his breath hitching as crimson bloomed across his clothes, vivid against the fabric. The stan spread–slow, merciless and unstoppable.
No.
Shadow Milk’s heart slammed against his ribs. Narrowing to that single splash of red.
He was too late.
The man staggered back, the bloody knife shaking in his hands. His breath came in ragged gasps, eyes wide with terror. “I-I didn’t do it! He moved! He stabbed himself!”
Then, he turned–ready to run.
A sickening crack rang out as Shadow Milk’s fist collided with his jaw. The man collapsed to the ground, barely processing what had happened before Shadow Milk grabbed his collar and punched him again.
The blind rage consumed him whole.
His knuckles throbbed. Blood spattered across his hands, he didn’t know whose anymore.
“PURE VANILLA!”
Shadow Milk’s breath caught. His body froze mid-punch. Slowly, he let go of the unconscious, bloodied man and turned.
Pure Vanilla laid on the ground.
Blood poured from his stomach, staining the pavement beneath him. His chest rose and fell unevenly, each breath weaker than the last.
White Lily was at his side, pressing down the wound with shaking hands. Tears streamed down her face.
A vital wound.
Shadow Milk rushed to Pure Vanilla’s side, his heart hammering. He grabbed his hands, gripping it tightly. “Pure Vanilla, can you hear me?”
Pure Vanilla’s fingers felt cold. Too cold.
His eyes barely opened, unfocused, struggling to stay awake. He tried to speak–then a violent cough racked his body, sending more blood spilling from his mouth.
White Lily’s panicked scream tore through the silence. “SOMEBODY HELP! PLEASE!”
No one was coming.
They had no phones. There were no hospitals nearby. They were all alone.
With Pure Vanilla dying here.
No, it won’t end like this.
Shadow Milk gritted his teeth. He scooped Pure Vanilla into his arms. One arm around his back, the other beneath his legs, lifting him carefully–like he was something fragile, something slipping away. He was too light, too weak.
“Don’t talk.” He hissed, his voice sharp with fear as Pure Vanilla coughed again–more blood spilling, staining his white uniform.
He ran. Faster than he ever had.
Each step felt like a battle, every muscle burned. But stopping was not an option. Nothing mattered except the boy in his arms.
White Lily’s frantic footsteps pounded behind them, her sobs barely reaching his ears over the sound of his own heartbeat, loud and desperate.
Finally, they found the hospital.
Shadow Milk’s heart leaped with relief as he rushed inside.
But the moment he stepped in, his heart sank.
Relief turned into fear all over again.
He lowered his gaze to Pure Vanilla.
His head lolled against his chest, his face unnaturally still. His eyes, once filled with life, were shut too tightly. The ragged breaths he had fought so hard for just moments ago–gone.
No…
Shadow Milk dropped to his knees. His fingers trembled as they brushed against Pure Vanilla’s cold cheek. “Nilly…?”
He was given a second chance.
His breath hitched, his eyes widened in disbelief.
Yet, he still failed.
He clutched Pure Vanilla tighter, refusing to let go, refusing to accept the unbearable truth.
No, he didn’t accept it.
His eyes burned with a fury. A desperate denial of reality.
And I never will.
Again.
~♧~
Pure Vanilla wasn’t sure how to react. He was supposed to meet up with White Lily so they could go to the bakery, but he hadn’t expected Shadow Milk to tag along.
He glanced at Shadow Milk, who was happily humming beside him.
“We should do this often, don’t you think, Nilly?”
Pure Vanilla nearly jumped at the sudden question and nodded a little too quickly. “Yes…” He kept his head down, avoiding Shadow Milk’s gaze.
White Lily silently watched them both, ready to step in if Shadow Milk did anything to him.
Shadow Milk’s smile stayed in place, but the moment Pure Vanilla and White Lily looked away, it cracked. His expression darkened.
One second, he was holding Pure Vanilla’s lifeless body. The next, he blinked–and suddenly, he was back in his own bed.
When he woke up, he thought it had all been just a dream. But it wasn’t.
It felt like the whole world had reset.
Somehow, time had rewound. He was back on the same day. The same cursed day.
He didn’t know how or why, but one thing for sure–he wouldn’t fail this time. Not when he had the knowledge of what was coming. He could change things. Prevent mistakes.
Yes, very easy.
Shadow Milk stopped in front of them. “Let’s take the other route.” He said, pushing them both in the other direction.
“Why? That way is the fastest.” White Lily protested. She was already exhausted from all her schoolwork and didn’t want to add more fatigue by walking farther.
Shadow Milk rolled his eyes and waved a hand dismissively. “Just follow my lead.” His gaze flickered at Pure Vanilla for a moment before continuing. “Besides, why would you want to go through that dark alley? What if someone kidnaps and sells you on black market, huh?” He snorted at White Lily. “Though, that would be great news for me. One less pesky person to deal with.”
Their argument continued until Shadow Milk heard Pure Vanila’s soft laughter. He watched as Pure Vanilla smiled, bright and carefree.
Something twisted deep in Shadow Milk’s chest, a painful knot he couldn’t untangle.
He couldn’t fail this time.
Just one more day.
Then tomorrow, everything would change.
He kept arguing with White Lily until they arrived at the bakery. As they stepped inside, the warm aroma of freshly baked goods filled their noses.
White Lily and Pure Vanilla huddled together, eagerly discussing which cake to order. Shadow Milk, on the other hand, strolled around the shop, yawning in boredom. His gaze landed on a particular cake.
It was covered in smooth milk cream frosting, topped with fresh blueberries. He stepped closer, inhaling deeply. There was even the scent of vanilla flavour too.
Atop the cake, sat a small decoration. A tiny figurine of a groom and a bride standing side by side. A familiar face flashed through Shadow Milk’s mind and a smirk crept onto his lips. “I’ll definitely make him my bride.”
“Who’s going to be your bride?”
Shadow Milk jumped in shock and whipped around, only to find White Lily staring at him innocently.
“You…!” He let out a rough sigh and rubbed his temple. “Do you ever stop being a thorn in my side?”
White Lily tilted her head, clearly confused. She didn’t understand why he was always so annoyed. “I was just asking a question.”
“And l’m choosing to leave it unanswered.” He huffed, glancing around for a certain person but no luck. “Anyhowwww, where’s Nilly?”
White Lily thought for a moment before snapping her fingers. “He went outside with the bakery manager. I think they had something to discuss.”
Without a word, Shadow Milk stepped outside, his eyes scanning the area. And then he saw him. A genuine smile showed on his face.
He was about to walk toward Pure Vanilla when he noticed someone dressed in black outfit.
Their movements were slow, calculated. They stood just a few feet away. Then, with terrifying ease, they lifted a gun–aiming directly at Pure Vanilla and the manager.
His blood turned to ice.
His body reacted before his mind could catch up. His legs burned as he pushed forward, his screams were tearing from his throat. “PURE VANILLA!”
But, he was too far. Too slow.
Pure Vanilla’s eyes widened as he caught the sight of the gunman. Without hesitation, he shoved the manager aside.
Then, a loud gunshot ripped through the air.
Shadow Milk watched as Pure Vanilla’s body hit the ground with a loud thud. His eyes were wide and unblinking, staring straight at him. His mouth hung open and a bullet hole carved into his skull.
He failed again…?
He didn’t move. He couldn’t. His mind struggled to catch up, to process what had just happened.
“Vanilla…” His voice barely escaped his lips, hollow and numb. He stared at the lifeless body before him, his breath caught his throat.
You can’t save him.
A low chuckle slipped from his lips. Then another. Slowly, it grew louder. Anything but sane.
Curse you.
The world twisted. Reality warped, folding in on itself and time stopped. Finally, the darkness swallowed everything.
Again.
~♧~
Pure Vanilla could feel dozens of eyes on him, filled with curiosity. He didn’t know why he was destined to be here. He had rejected Shadow Milk’s offer, yet somehow, he’d ended up saying yes. Maybe it was the way Shadow Milk kept pleading, his enthusiasm impossible to resist.
Afterward, he told White Lily they couldn’t go together as they planned. She didn’t mind, of course, considering she still had a lot of work to do here.
And now, here he was, standing stiffly beside Shadow Milk, who was grinning from ear to ear, his hand resting firmly on Pure Vanilla’s shoulder.
“I see, you brought your little friend along.” Eternal Sugar mused, eyes sparkling with curiosity like she had just discovered a hidden gem. A sly grin spread across her face. “He’s actually pretty cute.” She reached out, fingers primed for a cheek pinch.
Before she could, a hand shot up, stopping her tracks.
“Nope! No touching!” Shadow Milk declared, swiftly pulling Pure Vanilla closer. “That’s not how you treat our special guest. As you can see, he’s very shy.” He poked Pure Vanilla’s cheek playfully.
Eternal Sugar pouted but didn’t argue. She knew better how Shadow Milk’s mood could flip like a switch. “Possessive much…” she muttered.
“Shadow Milk… maybe I shouldn’t be here.” Pure Vanilla whispered, his voice barely audible. A deep discomfort settled in his chest. He had never interacted with Shadow Milk’s friends. He only knew them, nothing more.
Shadow Milk gasped, clutching his chest in mock devastation. “My! Nilly! What are you saying?” He grabbed Pure Vanilla’s shoulders, forcing him to meet his gaze. “I invited you here, therefore you are very much welcome!”
Without letting go, he turned to the others. His smile widened. “Isn’t that right, guys?”
But everyone could see the hidden meaning of it.
Say no and you’ll regret it.
A threat unspoken, but understood by all.
The group exchanged wary glances.
A loud sigh broke the silence.
“I suppose having a guest won’t hurt.” Mystic Flour murmured, cracking her eyes open to see Pure Vanilla. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.
Eternal Sugar shrugged. “I don’t mind either. The more, the merrier.” She turned to both Burning Spice and Silent Salt. “What about you two?”
“Doesn’t matter to me.” He said, though his expression told otherwise. While Silent Salt only gave a small nod.
Shadow Milk clapped his hands together. “Great! That settles it! Off we go!”
Before Pure Vanilla could react, Shadow Milk grabbed his hand and took off, dragging him along. Pure Vanilla barely managed to stumble forward, his feet struggling to keep up.
But no one knew how loudly Shadow Milk’s heart was pounding at the moment.
He had failed twice. Saving Pure Vanilla.
And he came back again.
Unconsciously, he squeezed Pure Vanilla’s hand a little tighter to steadying the chaos in his mind while keeping his facade intact.
This time, he won’t fail.
And just like that, they were inside the restaurant, finally getting some food into their empty stomachs.
For what felt like ages–but wasn’t really that long–Shadow Milk experienced a rare moment of peace.
Everything that had happened recently was too much. His mind felt like it was going to explode from the sheer weight of it all.
But now, all he needed to do was have a good meal, stayed with Pure Vanilla the whole day and done!
Tomorrow will be a fresh start. With Pure Vanilla still alive and safe, of course!
He kept giggling at himself, lost in his thoughts. Until, a loud smack landed on his arm.
“Quit grinning like a lunatic. You’re creeping me out.” Burning Spice muttered, not even bothering to look up as he focused on his curry.
Shadow Milk shot him a cynical look, ready to fire back with a sinister remark–until he noticed something.
His grin faltered.
Pure Vanilla was quiet.
Too quiet.
He reached out, brushing his fingers against Pure Vanilla’s hand. “What’s wrong, Nilly? Is the food not to your liking?”.
However, Pure Vanilla didn’t react. He just sat there, staring blankly.
That creeping fear came rushing back.
“Pure Vanilla?” His voice was firmer this time, a little louder. Finally, Pure Vanilla turned to look at him.
He looked deadly pale.
“A-ah, I’m sorry.” He apologized but his voice sounded hoarse. He pushed himself up from his seat, moving sluggishly. “I think I need to go.” He barely took a few steps before his legs gave out.
Pure Vanilla lurched forward, collapsing.
Shadow Milk lunged, grabbing him before he hit the cold, hard floor. “VANILLA!” He shouted in panic as he looked down.
Pure Vanilla was trembling violently, his entire body convulsing. His skin was ghostly pale, his lips almost white, and sweat poured down his face in chilling beads.
Shadow Milk’s heart pounded. His grip tightened.
This wasn’t just dizziness.
“Quick, call an ambulance!” Someone yelled. People were already rushing over, the restaurant erupting into chaos.
But, all Shadow Milk could focus on was Pure Vanilla.
No, this wasn’t supposed to happen.
“Vanilla.” He took both of his hands tightly, rubbing them in a desperate attempt to keep him warm–knowing it was useless.
“Stay with me, okay? You’re going to be fine.” He pulled Pure Vanilla into a tight embrace, trying to shield him with his warmth. “I promise.”
Liar.
Pure Vanilla struggled to steady his breath. He swallowed hard. “S-Shadow Milk..” His voice was weak, almost lost. “A-am I..?
Shadow Milk cupped his face, his thumb brushing over his cold cheek. Gently, he pressed over to Pure Vanilla’s lips. “No.” He said firmly. “I won’t let you.”
But no matter how tightly he held on, no matter how fiercely he willed it. Fate had already decided.
Just give up.
Pure Vanilla’s eyes fluttered shut. The trembling stopped.
“Shadow Milk…Is Pure Vanilla–?”
He didn’t care about the pity in their voices. Didn’t care about the looks they gave him.
He clung to Pure Vanilla, holding him close. As if refusing to acknowledge what had just happened.
He neither moved nor spoke.
The eerie silence around them already knew the truth.
“I told you to take it to table fourteen!”
A hushed, panicked whisper. Shadow Milk’s head snapped toward the voice.
A stranger and a waiter.
“You poisoned the wrong person!”
His eyes shot to Pure Vanilla’s glass. The liquid inside was slightly lighter than the others.
It clicked.
Rage surged through him like wildfire. “YOU BASTARD!” His voice was raw, filled with unfiltered hatred. “YOU POISONED HIM!”
But before he could make them pay. The world turned dark once more.
Stop deceiving yourself.
Again.
~♧~
The howling wind whipped against Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla as they rode on the bike.
Shadow Milk offered to take Pure Vanilla home, but Pure Vanilla initially refused. Yet, something about Shadow Milk’s demeanor unsettled him. The usual spark in his eyes were gone, his mischievous grin was nowhere to be seen. No teasing either.
This wasn’t like him.
Pure Vanilla sat quietly at the back, watching as Shadow Milk rode. Neither of them spoke. Just silence.
“Shadow Milk.” He saw the slight tension in Shadow Milk’s shoulders before they eased again. “You’re acting a bit odd. Did something happen?”
No response. Only the wind roared past them.
Pure Vanilla sighed and decided not to push further.
Shadow Milk, on the other hand, felt frustrated. No, he was furious.
He had failed to save Pure Vanilla. Not once, not twice, but three times.
Three times, he had watched Pure Vanilla die. Three times, he had fought against fate. And three times, he lost.
Yet, here he was. Back at the start.
This wasn’t just time travel. It was something worse.
He was trapped.
A prisoner in a relentless time loop, doomed to repeat the same nightmare. Every time Pure Vanilla died, the world reset–dragging him back, forcing him to relive the horror.
His hands clenched around the handlebars. He had done everything to change the outcome, to stop the inevitable. But no matter what he did, the tragedy always unfolded.
It was a blessing and a curse.
A blessing–because he had another chance to save Pure Vanilla.
A curse–because he had to watch Pure Vanilla die.
Over and over.
But, there was no time to doubt. No space for fear.
The solution was simple.
To break the loop, all he had to do was save Pure Vanilla.
Or so he thought.
A loud car horn blared from behind, snapping Shadow Milk out of his thoughts. His body reacted on instinct, swerving sharply to avoid the speeding car.
“HEY!” He shouted, anger and adrenaline surging through him. Seriously, not even the universe wanted to give him a break.
He turned to check on Pure Vanilla.
Then, he heard it. A panicked voice.
“Shadow Milk!”
Another blaring horn. Headlights. Blinding.
Bearing down to them.
And then–impact.
A violent crash. A burst of pain.
Everything went black.
Why can’t you understand?
Pain radiated through Shadow Milk’s body. A sticky warmth trickled down his forehead, the metallic scent of blood thick in the air.
His vision swam as he pried his eyes open. The sky blurred above him.
The damn car. He was definitely suing the driver after this.
He tried to move–nothing. Pain shot through his limbs. He must’ve broken something.
Slowly, he turned his head. His breath caught.
Why?
Pure Vanilla laid beside him.
His eyes were closed, his body battered and bloody. Crimson stained his clothes, pooling beneath him.
And his chest–
It wasn’t moving.
Why can't I save you?
Shadow Milk tried to reach Pure Vanilla’s hand. He had to touch him, to feel a pulse, to shake him awake. To prove himself that this wasn’t–
A sudden, splitting pain tore through his skull.
His vision darkened.
The world slipped away.
Again.
~♧~
Shadow Milk had tried to stop Pure Vanilla from going to school that morning.
He had sent a warning to him that something bad would happen.
But Pure Vanilla didn’t listen.
Shadow Milk didn’t need to see what happened next.
Because the moment the air around him shifted. The reality warped and the familiar darkness swallowed everything.
He knew.
The loop was starting again.
Again.
Shadow Milk tried the same method again.
This time, it worked.
Pure Vanilla hesitated at first but something in Shadow Milk’s voice felt different.
The desperation and raw sincerity.
Shadow Milk never begged. And it made him worry.
So, he decided to stay home. He could apologize to his friends later for skipping school.
Shadow Milk felt the tension in his chest ease. He let himself believe that Pure Vanilla was safe.
The thought carried him through the day, his heart feeling lighter, a weight lifting off his shoulders.
When he decided to visit Pure Vanilla after. He saw a fire truck racing down the street.
Heading toward Pure Vanilla’s house.
Oh, how wrong he was.
Again.
Shadow Milk ran to Pure Vanilla’s house early in the morning.
This time, he begged to stay home with him. To spend the whole day together. Just this once.
To his relief, Pure Vanilla agreed.
It filled Shadow Milk with a rare sense of joy, a flicker of hope. Maybe this time, he had finally done enough.
They spent the day together, playing, laughing, forgetting for a moment–the weight of everything.
As evening fell, Shadow Milk stepped out for just a moment. Just to buy some snacks.
He never expected to return to this.
Pure Vanilla’s body lay on the floor, drenched in blood. A knife lodged deep in his chest.
He should have locked the door so there won't be any thieves robbing the house.
Again.
In the middle of class, Shadow Milk grabbed Pure Vanilla by the wrist and dragged him away, ignoring the teacher's shouts and Pure Vanilla’s protests.
He didn’t stop. Not until they were on the bus, heading anywhere but here.
Their argument echoed through the bus, tension thick in the air.
Then, a crash.
Metal screeched. Glass shattered. The news reports came later.
They said it was a miracle that everyone survived in the accident.
Everyone except Pure Vanilla.
Again.
Shadow Milk had lost count.
The number was meaningless now.
Again.
He had seen every possible outcome. Every variation of Pure Vanilla’s deaths.
How many times did he have to watch Pure Vanilla die?
AGAIN.
Something inside Shadow Milk shattered.
A G A I N .
I’ve had enough.
~♧~
“Are you playing tricks on me?”
Pure Vanilla had no idea what to do.
He just wanted a normal day. Maybe stop by the bakery like he’d planned with White Lily, then go home and actually get some rest.
Getting dragged behind the school by Shadow Milk was definitely not on his to-do-list.
His eyes darted around, sweat beading at his temples. “I..I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He muttered, voice barely a whisper.
Shadow Milk let out a sharp tch, frustration rolling off him in waves. It made Pure Vanilla flinched.
“All of this must be fun for you, huh?” Shadow Milk let out a laugh–harsh, unnatural, almost chilling. His eyes burned with something wild. “Did you curse me? Is that it? Because I abandoned you before?”
Pure Vanilla’s pulse spiked.
He forced himself to stay calm, even as a cold sweat formed at the back of his neck.
“Shadow Milk…” He spoke carefully, his voice measured. “If I did something that upset you, I’m sorry. I-”
He didn’t get the chance to finish.
A forceful shove sent Pure Vanilla crashing into the wall. A sharp gasp tore from his throat as pain jolted through his back. The impact echoed in the empty space around them.
“SHUT UP!”
Shadow Milk’s arms caged him in, hands pressed against the wall on either side of Pure Vanilla’s head. His breathing was ragged, uneven.
His entire body shook with rage.
“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!” His voice cracked, but his rage didn’t falter. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH!”
Pure Vanilla barely dared to breathe.
Shadow Milk wasn’t just yelling. He was breaking.
His eyes burned with something deeper. Desperation and pain.
Like he was on the edge of falling apart.
Like a man trapped in his own nightmare, clawing for a way out.
Or worse–doing something he couldn’t take back.
“ALL THOSE TIME LOOPS, ALL THOSE DEATHS, ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!” Shadow Milk’s voice was raw, breaking under the weight of his fury. Pure Vanilla could see his hands curling into fists. His head dropped and his whole body were trembling.
“You…”
Pure Vanilla’s breath hitched. He was trapped. He didn’t want to know what happened next. So he did the only thing he could.
He turned away, squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for the impact.
But nothing came.
Just silence.
His fingers twitched. His chest rose and fell in shallow breaths. Cautiously, he opened his eyes.
He saw Shadow Milk standing there, frozen in place. He let out a shaky breath.
“You are going to die, Pure Vanilla.”
Pure Vanilla’s body tensed, but he said nothing.
Then, for a second–he saw it.
A single drop of something shimmered in the dim light before it fell from Shadow Milk’s face.
Was he crying?
Shadow Milk’s hands slowly retreated. The crushing weight of tension lifted just enough for Pure Vanilla to take a breath.
He glanced at Shadow Milk, who had turned slightly away, one hand pressed against his face, covering his eyes.
“Damn it.” His voice was low, strained–filled with something Pure Vanilla couldn’t quite place.
Shadow Milk snatched Pure Vanilla’s wrist without warning, his grip like a vice
Pure Vanilla yelped, startled.
“Come on, let’s go.”
Shadow Milk’s voice was calm, but his grip was too tight, almost painful. Pure Vanilla winced. If he squeezed any harder, it would leave a bruise.
Panic flared in Pure Vanilla’s chest.
He tried to pull away, dug his heels into the ground–but it was useless. Shadow Milk was stronger.
“W-wait! Where are you taking me?!” He shouted, breathless.
Shadow Milk didn’t even look at him. He just kept walking, dragging Pure Vanilla behind him. “Somewhere safe.” He said.
It sounded emotionless.
And somehow, that made it even worse.
The way Shadow Milk acted and his refusal to explain anything terrified Pure Vanilla. He didn’t understand why he was like this.
“Will you just obey me already?!” Shadow Milk snapped but Pure Vanilla refused to back down.
“You are acting strange, Shadow Milk. Please–let’s just talk.” His voice was pleading but his words fell on deaf ears.
Shadow Milk’s grip on his wrist tightened.
Pure Vanilla sucked in a breath. Red marks blossomed where Shadow Milk’s fingers dug into his skins. Tears started to welled up in his eyes.
As for Shadow Milk, he gritted his teeth. His patience was wearing thin.
“Stop squirming, will you?!” He shouted again, frustration boiling over. He only wanted to protect him, why couldn’t he understand?
Pure Vanilla kept struggling, twisting his wrist, yanking with all his strength.
Shadow Milk let go. It wasn’t intentional, just for a second.
But that second was a mistake.
Pure Vanilla’s balance wavered. His arms flailed, grasping at nothing but air and his foot slipped on the uneven ground.
A sickening crack.
His head collided with a jagged rock, the impact shattering bone.
Shadow Milk stunned at the sight.
Pure Vanilla lay motionless. A pool of red began to spread beneath his head. His empty eyes stared up at the sky, unblinking and unmoving.
But for Shadow Milk, those empty eyes stared past him, through him.
You did this.
Shadow Milk staggered back, his hands slowly rose to his face, as if trying to bock out the sight before him.
“No..No..”
But the cold, unmoving body before him was proof enough.
“Pure Vanilla?!”
White Lily’s hysterical cry pierced the silence as she searched for him.
She rushed forward, dropping to her knees beside him, trembling hands reaching for his pulse.
Nothing.
Her fingers pressed harder. Still nothing.
A shaky gasp left her lips. Tears blurred her vision. “No…please…”
Shadow Milk just stood there, frozen, eyes wide, his whole body numb.
“What…what have you done?”
He turned to her slowly. His mouth opened but no words came. His tongue felt heavy and useless.
Accept the truth, Shadow Milk.
Her whispers turned to scream. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Tears streamed down her face as she pounded her fists against his chest–weak shaking punches, fueled by grief.
Or face your own consequences.
Never in his life had Shadow Milk felt so relieved when the world began to reset once more.
Except the guilt remained with him.
And so did the crushing weight of his loss.
Again.
~♧~
The same morning, the same bed, the same day.
It all remained the same.
No matter what he did, the outcome would remain the same.
He no longer felt motivated to try, knowing nothing would change. He didn’t bother getting up from bed.
He ignored the knocking on his door and the faint voices–probably Black Sapphire and Candy Apple. Fortunately, they never tried to break in. They always respected his privacy.
His phone kept buzzing with notifications–unread messages and missed calls. Most were from Burning Spice and Eternal Sugar.
He didn’t pay attention. After all, none of this mattered anymore.
Time would rewind again.
He would live the same day over again and Pure Vanilla remained dead.
Sure, Pure Vanilla might have to experience death countless times. But, he wouldn’t remember them.
And he was far from being saved.
It was best for Shadow Milk to isolate himself–away from Pure Vanilla.
He was one of the reasons Pure Vanilla dying.
I killed him.
He laughed, but it didn’t sound happy.
It was filled with despair and pain.
The laugh faded. He fell silent for a while, feeling reality twisted around him again.
Pure Vanilla was dead again, wasn't he?
He didn’t need to watch his deaths anymore. Like a loyal audience.
He buried himself under the blanket, ignoring reality, hoping to rot away.
And it had been happening for who knows how long.
Was it three? Five? Or more than ten? Ever since he accidentally killed Pure Vanilla.
He just lay there, listening. The alarm had long since died out, his phone kept buzzing, the wall clock ticked loudly, and outside, birds chirped.
Wait.
Shadow Milk lazily cracked one eye open and turned his head toward the window. A tiny bluebird was pecking at the glass.
He stared at it for a while. He didn’t remember a bird being there in the previous timelines. Or maybe he had just never paid attention.
He shut his eyes again, deciding to ignore it. Until it started to sing.
The sound was…beautiful.
The chirping felt almost hypnotic, like a lullaby from a fairytale. He let out a yawn, closing his eyes again, letting the melody pull him under.
Shadow Milk didn’t know how long he had been asleep, but the bluebird’s singing was still there. Except something felt off.
Someone was touching his hair, gently playing with it.
Slowly, he opened his eyes. His vision was blurred, the light too bright.
Hold on–he was sure he hadn’t opened the window.
“Sorry, did I wake you up?”
A familiar voice. One he hadn’t heard in so long.
He blinked, his vision adjusting. And then, he saw the familiar face.
“Pure Vanilla?” He mumbled.
The one he had called smiled slightly, fingers still twirling his hair playfully.
That's when he realized his head was resting on Pure Vanilla’s lap. They were in the middle of a grassy field. And why were there so many sheep?
He didn’t bother to move, though. There was a strange sense of peace in the air, the mild warmth of spring wrapping around him.
His eyes wandered. Pure Vanilla’s hair was longer–way too long. And the white robes he wore, the silky fabric looked nice to touch.
“How long have I been sleeping?” Shadow Milk asked, reaching for a strand of Pure Vanilla’s hair. He brought it close to his nose, inhaling deeply. The familiar scent of vanilla filled his lungs.
Pure Vanilla hummed softly before answering. “The moment we arrived, you insisted on resting.” a bluebird landed gently on his index finger. “Perhaps an hour.”
Shadow Milk frowned as he absently took another of Pure Vanilla’s hair, tying it into a small knot. “Don’t your thighs feel numb?” He pushed himself up, finally getting a proper look at Pure Vanilla.
“You look different.” He said, then glancing down at himself. He was wearing some kind of jester suit. “And so do I.”
Pure Vanilla reached out, trying to brush the dirt from Shadow Milk’s hair, but a hand suddenly grabbed his wrist.
A silent moment followed.
Shadow Milk slowly guided Pure Vanilla’s hand to his cheek. “Your hand is cold.”
“I know.”
He stared straight at Pure Vanilla, his other hand brushing aside his long front hair to see his face more clearly. “You look pale.”
“I know.”
Slowly but deliberately, his hand moved downward, slipping Pure Vanilla’s cloak away. Beneath the wide cloak, red stains covered him.
“You are bleeding.”
“I know.”
A sigh escaped Shadow Milk. “You are…” He didn’t want to continue. He didn’t want to but he knew it was pointless to keep denying it. “You are dead. Gone.”
“...”
Pure Vanilla said nothing. The silence made Shadow Milk clench his teeth in frustration.
“Why?” He gripped Pure Vanilla’s shoulder, his voice filled with despair. “Why you?! Out of all people, why must it be you?!”
“Why do you insist on saving me, Shadow Milk?” Pure Vanilla’s voice was flat–devoid of emotion. It was just a simple question.
Shadow Milk lowered his head and took one of Pure Vanilla’s hands. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you. You are the missing piece of my life. I can tell that you’re the one.” He kissed the back of Pure Vanilla’s hand with deep passion. “You are half of my soul, my light, and my..” He paused before continuing, his voice trembling. “My truth in this world of lies.”
Two gentle hands cradled his face. Pure Vanilla smiled warmly, like the radiant sun.
“You have to let me go.”
The words made Shadow Milk’s heart sink. In that moment, everything he had built–his strength, his pride–shattered instantly as he felt hot tears welling up in his eyes.
“No…” He whispered desperately, his voice breaking. Shadow Milk had always been a man of high ego, but here he was, begging–pathetically. “No…you can’t do this to me! Don’t leave me!”
“Stay with me.” He whispered, holding onto Pure Vanilla’s hands that still cradled his face. “Please.”
Pure Vanilla leaned it, bringing their foreheads together, touching. “I’ve always stayed by your side, Shadow Milk.”
He heard the other’s breath grow shakier as their eyes met.
“No matter where I am.”
They pulled away, and Shadow Milk could now see the star-shaped mark on Pure Vanilla’s forehead.
It looked like the star he had seen before, the same star he saw after he had kicked all his friends out during their visits.
The moment they were gone, he leaned back against the nearest wall, unbothered by how messy his room was.
In his peripheral vision, something shiny caught his eye outside. He stood up and opened the window. There, above him, a bright star shone in the night sky.
He had once heard a myth that if you made a wish upon a shining star, it would come true. He scoffed at the childish thought, yet deep inside, curiosity lingered.
Still, he gazed upon the star and clasped his hands together, making a wish.
The thought of Pure Vanilla’s death still haunted him.
Deep in his heart, he wished–wished that he could have stayed by Pure Vanilla’s side, because he had been absent the whole day before.
And how he wished he had confessed his feelings before cruel fate took him away.
Shadow Milk snapped out of his daydream–or was it a memory? He looked back at Pure Vanilla, who was still smiling at him.
“Please, live by your own truth, Shadow Milk.”
And then, the world faded around him, as the sweet dream came to an end.
It is time for you to wake up.
Again.
~♧~
Two slow footsteps echoed through the stairwell. Pure Vanilla silently watched Shadow Milk’s back as he led him to the rooftop of the school. He only said that he wanted to tell him something. Nothing more.
When they arrived at the rooftop, neither of them spoke at first. Then, Shadow Milk turned around and exhaled.
“What do you think of this view, Nilly?” He smiled, but his expression seemed off–like he was mentally exhausted.
Pure Vanilla thought for a moment. “It’s pretty.” He wasn’t lying, he had always liked nice views especially from the rooftop, where it was easy to get a good one.
Shadow Milk hummed softly before speaking again. “Do you wanna know what’s prettier than the view?”
Pure Vanilla blinked. “What?”
“You.”
A deep blush spread across Pure Vanilla’s face. He didn’t expect Shadow Milk to flirt so smoothly. He was used to Shadow Milk tossing around pick-up lines, but he had always assumed they were just jokes. This time, something about his tone felt sincere.
“Th-that’s..” Pure Vanilla coughed, trying to steady his voice, his face burning red. “That’s such a nice joke.” The blush spread all way to his ears.
Suddenly, he was pulled into Shadow Milk’s embrace. He was hugging him.
Now, Pure Vanilla was as red as fresh tomato. “Shadow Milk, what’s the meaning of this?” His heart was pounding from Shadow Milk’s unusual behavior. He didn’t think his heart could handle this bizarre situation any longer.
“I love you.”
Something in Pure Vanilla’s mind crashed. Was he hearing this right?
Afraid he had misheard, he tried to look up and loosened the hug. But Shadow Milk refused, tightening his hold instead, pressing Pure Vanilla’s face back against his chest.
“I really love you.”
Pure Vanilla could feel Shadow Milk’s warm breath near his neck as he lowered his head. “I mean it, Pure Vanilla.” He continued, his voice soft but firm. He buried his face in Pure Vanilla’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him even closer. “No matter how much time separates us, my love will remain deep, eternal and everlasting for you.”
Pure Vanilla said nothing.
Shadow Milk felt his heart drop. Pure Vanilla was going to reject him, wasn’t he? He hated him, didn’t he?
He was about to pull away, ready to brush it off as just another prank like he always did.
A soft pat landed on his head.
“Me too.”
What.
“I love you too, Shadow Milk.”
It was real.
He actually said it.
A shaky breath escaped from Shadow Milk–a mix of disbelief and relief. Still burying his face, he muttered, “When?”
“A necklace.”
He lifted his head lightly. “A what?”
“The necklace you gave me.”
Pure Vanilla stepped back, releasing the embrace. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a necklace.
The moment he held it up, a familiar pendant dangled from its chain, glowing softly with a blue light.
It was the gift Shadow Milk had given him last year.
He still couldn’t believe it. Pure Vanilla had kept it all this time.
“You still have it.” Shadow Milk’s voice was quiet, but deep in his heart, he felt so happy.
“I do.” Pure Vanilla smiled.
He had kept it since the first day but had never worn it. He had feared what Shadow Milk might think of him, especially since they hadn’t been that close before. And back then, Shadow Milk had still been in denial about his true feelings for him.
But now, after hearing Shadow Milk’s confession–knowing they shared the same feelings. It made him feel at peace.
Pure Vanilla slowly lifted his head to look at Shadow Milk. “I have one favor to ask.” He took a deep breath, trying to ease his nervousness. “Please help me put on this necklace.”
Shadow Milk’s heart pounded at the request. He carefully took the necklace and clasped it around Pure Vanilla’s neck from behind.
Once he was done, he didn’t move away. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Pire Vanilla’s shoulders from behind, pulling him into a back hug. “Does this mean we’re official?”
He heard Pure Vanilla chuckle. “I accepted you, didn’t I?”
For a brief second, Pure Vanilla swore he heard a quiet sob from Shadow Milk. Turning his head slightly, he reached up and patted Shadow Milk’s head gently. “You’re really emotional today.”
Shadow Milk only hugged him tighter, refusing to let go. Because he knew there wouldn’t be a next time. “Because I’ve met the most wonderful person in my life.”
~♧~
Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla walked together through streets, their hands intertwined. Time passed as they chatted about their shared moments, enjoying each other’s company.
“I wonder if we should tell our friends about…” Pure Vanilla trailed off, blinking nervously, a slight blush dusting his cheeks.
“Our relationship.” Shadow Milk finished for him, already knowing what was on Pure Vanilla’s mind. He draped an arm over Pure Vanilla’s shoulders. “Of course, we should. They need to know you’re mine now.”
Pure Vanilla let out a soft laugh at the response, his happiness evident.
So happy that it made Shadow Milk’s heart ache.
But he kept his smile intact. He couldn’t let it slip. Especially because all he wanted was to make Pure Vanilla happy, to see him smile.
He made sure he would stay with Pure Vanilla for the last time.
The sky grew darker as they both stopped at the traffic.
“Thank you for walking me home, Shadow Milk.” Pure Vanilla smiled at him, warm and radiant like the sun.
Shadow Milk’s heart thumped even louder, but he managed to smile back. “Mhmm, make sure you don’t get lost! I don’t want to see your face on a missing person poster!” he tried to joke, though it felt dry to him–but it still earned another laugh from Pure Vanilla.
Pure Vanilla stepped forward, ready to part ways.
Step by step, Pure Vanilla walked away. Each one felt like needles piercing throigh Shadow Milk’s body, and cold sweat began to form on his skin.
He wouldn’t see Pure Vanilla after this.
Pure Vanilla turned around, flashing the biggest smile Shadow Milk had ever seen.
“See you tomorrow, Shadow Milk.”
Accept the truth.
He had seen the truth.
He had felt it, lived it, lost himself in it.
There was no use in denying it anymore.
Shadow Milk forced a small, fragile smile as he raised his hand in a weak wave.
A goodbye he never wanted to give.
Pure Vanilla finally walked away, leaving him behind.
He watched as Pure Vanilla’s figure slowly faded from his vision. Yet, he didn’t move from his spot.
He wanted to call out.
He wanted to chase after him.
But he knew that deep down, there was no point.
So he stood still, waiting.
Suddenly, a loud crash echoed through the air.
“There’s an accident!”
“Someone got hit by a car!”
“Has anyone called an ambulance?!”
The screams and shouts meant nothing to Shadow Milk.
Slowly, he stepped forward. More people around him, more screams he heard. He walked straight to the crowd.
“Hey kid! Don’t go over there!”
He ignored the pointless warning. He kept walking, undeterred, until he reached his destination.
Here he was, standing before the lifeless body, which had been just struck down by a tragic accident.
Blood seeped into the cracks of the pavement, but Shadow Milk didn’t show any sign of disgust. He didn’t recoil nor flinch. He felt nothing.
He kneeled down, gently brushing aside strands of sticky, matted hair from their face with reverent care.
Without hesitation, he lifted the body into his arms, unmindful of the blood soaking through his clothes. Holding them close, he carefully wiped the blood from their cheek. His eyes fell to the necklace resting against their skin, its blue stone catching the cold, artificial light.
He leaned in and rested his chin atop their head for a moment.
As if whispering a final goodbye.
He pulled back, his gaze tracing every line of their face, mesmerizing, mourning. A sad smile flickered across his lips, torn between sorrow and something close to relief.
With a deep, shuddering inhale, he leaned in, pressing a fervent kiss to their forehead. It wasn’t just a goodbye–it was an apology, a plea, a desperate final embrace of the cruel truth. And somehow, it eased the unbearable weight in his chest.
Gently, he laid back them down on the ground, his fingers reluctant to let go. A single tear slipped down his cheek, falling down onto theirs. One final touch.
Shadow Milk wiped the blood from their lips with the pad of his thumb, his movements soft, almost tender. His voice barely more than a breath, raw with emotion. He whispered.
“Farewell, Nilly.”
Pure Vanilla was smiling. Peacefully.
Amidst the crowd, surrounded by the crimson stain of spilled blood, the chirping birds took flight, vanishing into a sky that grew darker by the second.
Time moved forward once more.