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"I'm not going to die like this. Not like this. C'mon Jay this is stupid!" Jay hissed into his arms as they tightened across his face. He had broken a bone twice before, once while falling from a tree as a child and then again when Alex shot him in the rib. This was not a broken bone. At most it was a sprain, but likely just a twist. The older he got the more things hurt and now he was in his fifties. It made Jay question if living any further was even worth it.
"You've been through so much. So much." He whispered to himself as his hands pressed into the ground by his hips. Jay forced himself up with an agonized groan until he could sit and look at his surroundings. One wrong step had sent him down a ten foot incline off the trail. It was almost a vertical drop but he managed to land in a bed of pine needles instead of the large rocks breaching the ground around him.
The fall was mild enough that the moment Jay hit the ground he tried springing right back up again to search for his camera. That was how he discovered his ankle was sprained and sent him right back onto the forest floor. With a few strained stretches he was able to reach his camera and check it over. Scuffed but still intact and running. Next, he dug through his saddle bag and was relieved to find only one spare lens had broken.
The only thing adding insult to injury was his walking stick, dangling perched at the very edge of the cliff he fell from. Jay considered chucking a rock at it but with his luck it would come right back down and pop him between the eyes. At the mouth of the trail a passing jogger had commented on his age and told him to be safe. It was supposed to be a compliment, but now it felt like a jinx.
"I'm kinda old but I'm not that old....Just...get up!" Jay hissed at himself as he brought his good leg under his body. He counted himself down while taking in a slow breath. The moment weight landed on his bad ankle he cried out and tumbled to the side. He hit the rock wall besides him with his shoulder before collapsing forward onto his stomach. "You stupid old fuck!" He shouted into the dirt as his face scrunched. Tears pressed behind his eyelids but Jay regained his composure before they could escape.
Eventually he sat up again and began scooting his way across the ground. He pushed himself backwards with his good leg and lifted himself with his arms for each inch he traveled. It felt humiliating but was better than dragging himself on his belly. In a feat of genius engineering, he took a spare body harness and managed to tighten it around his injured leg. Then with some fidgeting he got a camera to mount upright on it. It filmed just the tip of his shoe as well as the forest in front of him. Anything to get the right shot.
Jay hoped that if he followed the same direction as the path, he would find a way to climb back onto it. He knew the normal procedure was to wait for rescue exactly where you fell but he didn't want to be injured, backed next to a cliff, and facing into a slowly darkening forest for multiple days on end. While going for a treacherous hike like this, it was strongly recommended to alert a loved one when you would be back. Jay would have done that if he had a loved one. Now his disappearance was reliant on someone noticing his car abandoned in the parking lot past closing hours. From experience he knew if no one was looking for you, you wouldn't be found. He had to save himself.
When the path above him continued stretching out of his reach he began considering other options. Jay knew if he even managed back onto the trail that it he was still hours away from the main park area. When he backed himself into a barbed wire fence he saw it as an opportunity. This was someone's personal property. They could have been sat on acres and acres of land, or been unfriendly enough to shoot an injured old man where he laid, but that was a gamble he'd have to take. It was getting dark and the black outlines of the trees overhead were filling him with dread.
Jay pushed under the fence and continued inching through the woods. He went perpendicular from the fence in hopes that would be the quickest route towards a house. The growing anxiety in him all but vanished when he looked up to see a deer stand in the tree above. The stand itself was wood but the ladder leading up was metal. It was all modern and clean, with the only sign of wear being this season's leaf fall. The property owners had to live close or at least come this way often.
Jay reached for the ladder and used it to pull himself up. He teetered there with his bad leg lifted like a limp horse. With his back against the ladder he began replacing the tape in his camera and took a quick moment to bat the back of his jeans. They were covered in dirt and leaves but he hadn't torn a hole in them yet. Just as he finished up his break he heard the heavy panting of an animal. Jay's head tore upwards to see a hound dog only ten feet away. He hadn't heard it approach. Cautiously he began to smile and straighten his body.
"Hey Puppy. Are you on a walk with your owner?" He asked gently as he eyed the dog. In response to his question its mouth clamped shut and it began a low growl. As the fur on its back rose Jay stepped up onto the ladder behind him. He couldn't climb using his good ankle but he could push himself up by sitting on the rungs and inching higher with his good leg. "Help. Hel-p-HELP!" The first cry came out as a monotone mutter before Jay found his voice. The dog ran up to the base of the tree and tried leaping up to bite Jay. Its teeth clacked as they narrowly missed his bad leg.
"HEY HELP ME! I'M INJURED!" His sweat slick palms slid over the metal of the ladder and for a second Jay thought he'd go falling before his swinging arms caught the wooden edge of the stand above him. The dog spun around, took a looping run, and tried again to jump up and bite Jay. This time he was well out of reach. After failing its second attempt the hound did what its known for and threw back its head to start howling. Jay nearly shouted at it to shut up before remembering an alert was exactly what he wanted.
"Good dog! Keep it up!" He encouraged as he wiped his hands off on his jeans. Eventually two more large dogs showed up and joined the first in their yowling. Jay was just relieved he wasn't alone anymore. By the time the full pack of dogs was under him it had turned to night. He scanned the black wall of the tree line in hopes he'd see the distant windows of a house or a flashlight beam coming his way. A new spark of adrenaline began building in him when he heard the sound of a man approaching but saw no light. That wasn't a good sign.
"Hey-Hey-Excuse me-I fell off the path and hurt my leg. If you could just he-..help.." Jay's voice tapered off as the man stepped through the brush. At first he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Before the stranger even rose his face Jay recognized his rounded shoulders, his limping stride, the way his fingers twitched around the shotgun in his hand. When Tim looked up to scowl at Jay they both recognized each other immediately. Despite his hair being grown out and a new number of scars on his face Jay knew who he was looking at. Tim's doe-eyed expression hadn't aged with the rest of him.
"TIM!"
"NO!" Tim dropped the gun in his hands as he took a scrambling step back into the woods. Jay would have leapt to race after him if not for the pain throbbing in his ankle.
"Wait no Tim! Its Jay! It's fine I just-"
"GET OUT OF HERE!" Tim roared over his shoulder as he hunkered in the tree line. Both hands went up into his hair so he could tear at it. He clawed at himself with the hopes he'd wake up from this nightmare. Tim hunched down until he fell forward onto his knees. "LEAVE JAY!" His pleading was partially lost in the howls and cries of his dogs, which now ran around him in circles as they hollered.
Jay's mouth hung open as he watched Tim vanish. After taking a second to understand what he was hearing, he tried calling out again.
"I can't Tim I-...I hurt my ankle. Badly. I can't walk and its dark-Don't leave me here..." He could barely make out the shape of Tim rocking himself back and forth in the brush. "Don't leave me out in the woods Tim-"
"ALRIGHT!" His voice cracked before he lost himself in a coughing fit. Jay winced at the sound. He always hoped Tim had recovered the same way he had. As he waited on Tim he began inching himself down the ladder one rung at a time. Once Jay was within the dogs reach he hesitated. Tim whistled and shouted, waving them out of his path. They scrambled back into the forest while Tim reached down for his gun. When he rose again and met Jay's eyes there was a pause between them, one filled with the potential of gunpowder and no witnesses.
The moment passed and Tim moved towards Jay with a sigh. Jay lowered himself onto his good foot and stood holding the ladder for support.
"I didn't think you'd be excited to see me but still..." He muttered under his breath. When Jay saw the crinkle in Tim's brow he instantly regretted what he said.
"So you found me...Again."
"No! No I was just walking this way and I fell. Genuinely....Its nice to see you."
"What's that?" Tim pointed to the camera around Jay's bad leg.
"Uh, its...Its what it looks like." He admitted quietly. Tim brought his hand up to rub at his eyes while a low growl hissed out his nose. "I thought you were dead or worse I'm so glad you're-"
"Shut up, Jay. Stop talking. Don't talk for the rest of the night. I will let you stay the night and then I want you gone." Jay bowed his head and pursed his lips as he was scolded. This wasn't how he wanted this moment to go. An old ache Jay thought he had long gotten over returned with full force. It pressed on his rib cage and throat, pressuring words to try and sprout from him. Not being able to tell Tim he missed him and loved him hurt just as badly as his ankle.
When Tim reached out for Jay he was stiff from anxiety. He had to be tugged on before finally raising his arm and laying it over Tim's shoulder. Questions began multiplying in Jay's head. They branched out from one another and spread like cancer the more he breathed in Tim's aftershave. It took everything in him to keep from asking them out loud. The only distraction that worked was counting the new scars across Tim's face.
Jay was surprised when he was guided up onto a wooden deck. He hadn't even realized they reached Tim's home until he was being pushed inside of it. The cabin felt very fitting but he was surprised at how humble it was. This wasn't a picturesque lake house or cozy camp site rental. The shack Tim lived in was handmade and without electricity.
Jay's hands reached forward for the door handle but it was pulled out of his reach. When he looked up, another man his age filled the doorway. This time Jay had to pause and think about who it was. His age sat heavy on him, with a pulled back hairline and face full of worry wrinkles. What really caught Jay's focus was the stranger's missing eye. Something terrible had happened to it, leaving a socket full of folded skin and scar tissue. It wasn't until the man's mouth fell open and Jay saw his teeth did he finally realize who was gawking at him.
"Brian? Brian! Its Jay! Do you remember me?" Tim's head fell down as he let out an exhausted, growling sigh. Brian took a step back as his shocked expression turned into a repulsed grimace. He shook his head at Tim as he began pulling Jay inside. Remembering his order to stay quiet Jay bit down on his bottom lip and tilted his face towards the floor. He kept waiting for Brian to say something but it never came.
"He twisted his ankle. Says he wasn't tryin' to find us. He'll be gone by breakfast tomorrow. 'lright?" Jay glanced up just enough to watch Brian's chest. He signed something to Tim, who grunted in agreement. "I'll make sure he gets out."
"I'm so glad you're alive." Jay blurted as he raised his head to properly look at Brian. Tim pulled away from him, leaving Jay to stagger before he caught himself on the wall. "Really. I didn't mean to come out here but I'm happy I found you guys." Despite the pain he was in and the clear discomfort on Brian's face Jay couldn't stop smiling up at him. He hadn't seen Brian since he was unaffected by everything they went through. That image of him in college, glowing with kindness and joy, had never left Jay's mind. It was one of the reasons he had trouble recognizing him in this state. Brian had always felt like he could float above the negative. Now Jay could see he wasn't immune. It sat on his face, in his one good eye that was half filled with tears, in the way his jaw twitched from each word Jay said.
Brian shook his head as he turned to walk away. Their cabin was just big enough for three rooms. He disappeared into one of them while Tim stayed looming over Jay's shoulder.
"We don't want you here Jay. We're not your friends." He bowed his head again as he listened to Tim. Jay knew he was right. He wasn't sure they had ever been friends. How they held each other in those motel rooms, and the words said between gasps of air, weren't things friends did with each other.
"I'm still happy to see you, Tim..." Jay muttered under his breath before turning to look back at the other. "I thought...After Alex got me that he-"
"I don't want to talk about it! I'm not answering anymore of your god damn questions!" Tim raised his voice but fought to keep it below a shout, just for Brian's sake. It was still enough to make Jay flinch back.
"I should uh...I just want to go to bed..." He decided finally. Tim nodded in approval before grabbing Jay by his arm. He almost tugged him along but changed his mind before he did so. With a rough grip he coiled his arm around Jay's chest, sliding it just under his arms, and began pushing him along towards the only other room in the house. Jay felt so warm under his coat but somehow he could still feel the heat coming from Tim's body. The warmth lingered in a phantom touch even as Jay was sat down onto a twin sized bed. He glanced down at it before instantly trying to push himself up to his feet again.
"I can't take your bed I won't I-"
"Its just Toby's. He doesn't sleep here no more." Tim said under his breath while already stepping out the door.
"Toby? Who.." Jay tapered off as he saw Tim pause in the doorway. His hands curled to fists as his shoulders squared. Jay waited, his breath stuck in his throat, until Tim puffed out a sigh and stepped from the room. He shut the door quietly behind him instead of slamming it, something Jay whispered a thank you for under his breath.
He laid stiffly in the small bed he was given. Jay unhooked his camera and shut it off to save battery but the rest of his outfit stayed on, even his shoes. With his coat still over his shoulders he folded up the blankets provided and put them under his sprained ankle. Already it had begun to feel better. While his head sat heavy on the pillow his eyes screwed around the room. He took in every detail. The only window was a thin sliver above the bed that let in just enough moonlight for him to see from. Jay strained his ears in attempt to hear the one sided conversation Tim was having with Brian but they were too quiet for him to make out anything besides his name.
He didn't remember ever feeling tired, much less drifting to sleep. All Jay knew was that he was waking up suddenly. The feeling of weight on the bed besides him caused his eyelids to snap open but the rest of him stayed still. The moonlight from before had shifted and now cast down onto the man sat besides him. In the dark his mask looked like it was glowing. Jay thought it was angelic. If not for the few grey hairs now stuck in Tim's bangs he could have convinced himself they were young again. That the past thirty years of his life were a stress induced nightmare and he was still sharing those motel beds with the last person he loved.
When Tim's hand laid on his stomach it was cold to the touch. Jay kept his gaze on the black eye sockets of the mask as he laid his hand over the others. He wondered how long he had been there watching him sleep. Eventually Tim leaned down until he was directly above Jay. Even now it was enough to make his heart race. As Tim moved even closer Jay let his eyes shut. The cold plastic lips of the mask was what finally sent goosebumps up through his body. He could feel the hairs on his neck rise against the pillow under him even if the kiss he returned was so innocent and gentle.
It was broken as quickly as it began. When Jay opened his eyes again Tim was fully sat up and facing the doorway. Jay followed his gaze to Brian, who was stood waiting in his own mask. He didn't have any strong feelings about the kiss the two shared. He had been there for almost all of their intimate moments, always the voyeur, enough so it could push Jay to envy if he ever knew the extent of his spying. Tim looked back to him and gave Jay a little pat on the stomach before he stood up. His finger rose over his lips in a silent command. Jay's only thought was to wonder if they were still warm from his own. Then he watched the two masked men leave. His eyes returned to the ceiling as he heard them step off the porch and into the night. This time he'd feel himself falling back asleep.
Jay woke up to a quiet knock on his door the next morning. He glanced at it before sitting up with an audible groan. The wooden door pushed open and Tim appeared. Jay was already staring down at his feet as he tried putting weight on his bad ankle. It wasn't comfortable but the could walk on it now.
"I'm ready to go. Thank you. Both of you. Tell Bri-"
"Jay." His head snapped up when he heard his name. It came muttered around the pipe in the corner of Tim's mouth. He stood there with a bowl of food in one hand, already held out and offered to Jay. He thought about denying it just long enough for his mouth to fill with drool. He swallowed before taking it out of Tim's hands and instantly starting to eat.
"Thanks. Thank you. Mf-this is good damn." Jay grunted out as he scarfed down what he had been offered. He only stopped when he felt the mattress besides him indent with weight.
"Don't post any video of the land around my house." Tim said quietly, his voice calm and level. He sat with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together. Jay swallowed the food in his mouth before responding.
"I won't. I don't post anything anymore I just...Its just for me. No one is going to come here or nothing should. I'm just paranoid. It makes me feel safe. Haven't seen Alex in-" His nervous rambling was cut off.
"Alex is dead." Tim refused to look at Jay, even as he felt those glassy eyes bearing down on him.
"I don't....You don't know that. I think we all probably should be dead but we're not so.."
"No. Jay. Alex is dead. He's dead because I killed him. I made sure he died in front of me and didn't get back up or disappear or...whatever it wanted. He's dead." Jay was less unnerved by the act itself and more so Tim's tone, as unwaveringly calm as when he first stepped into the room. Had he been planning to tell him this?
"You watched Alex die?" He asked quietly. A few bites of food remained but he had lost his appetite. The same joy he had upon seeing Tim and Brian was more reserved when it came to Alex, but the couldn't deny it was there. When Jay was shot the world around him became horrifically clear for the first time in years. It was the ultimate wake-up call back into reality. One of the first things his bright eyes saw was Alex sobbing as he lowered the gun from in front of his face.
"I felt Alex die." Tim spoke out on a cloud of smoke. Jay looked away to keep the smoke from reaching him and to keep from looking at Tim. If he accidentally looked him in the eyes he might throw up everything he just ate.
"When you step off the porch, just go straight. When you reach our fence line follow it to your right. Just keep going that way once the fence ends. You'll find a road and your phone should start getting some signal." Tim explained before pushing himself up to his feet. "Leave the bowl on the night stand when you're done. Don't ever come back here. I never want to see you again."
"Right. Ok." Jay choked out before bringing the back of his hand over his mouth. Jay had always heard that when you enter your fifties the people in your life start to die. He assumed he was safe from that tragedy. Now he had lost all three of his closest friends in a single conversation.