Work Text:
Mai Taniyama had dealt with a lot of weird things in her life. Ghosts? Check. Hauntings? Been there. Working for a ridiculously attractive but emotionally constipated narcissist? Every single day. But waking up in a glowy, mushroom-infested nightmare with way too many moons in the sky? This was new.
And it all started with a very normal ghost hunt.
Falling Into Fey Nonsense
She had been minding her own business—okay, not minding her own business, poking around a suspiciously ornate mirror—when a sudden chill made her hair stand on end. Next thing she knew, she was falling through a shimmering void and landing face-first into a field of glowing flowers.
“Oh, for the love of—” Mai groaned, spitting out a suspiciously glittery petal.
“You have arrived.”
A tall, glittery man with an antler crown and an attitude loomed over her. “By ancient law, you must—”
“—Yeah, yeah, let me guess. I trespassed on sacred land, and now I owe you my soul or something?”
The man blinked. “Well. Yes.”
Mai groaned. “You people and your dramatics.”
And that was how it started.
The Unfortunate Series of Events Leading to Empresshood
1. Accidentally Becoming Engaged
Mai, being Mai, accidentally agreed to a marriage proposal by nodding while stuffing her face with magical fruit. Apparently, that counted.
Said proposal was from a very important Fey Lord, which immediately elevated her status.
2. Winning a Kingdom Through an Eating Contest
“You must prove your worth in a challenge of skill.”
Mai, misunderstanding the assignment, devoured an entire enchanted feast. Turns out, that was the challenge, and now she owned a kingdom. Oops.
3. The Snowball Effect
Once you rule one kingdom, apparently you become prime real estate for challenges and duels.
Mai, operating on pure exhaustion and a distinct lack of patience, accidentally won 35 realms by sheer dumb luck, loopholes, and well-timed sarcasm.
“Why does this count as a win?!”
“Because the stars have deemed it so.”
“Your laws are stupid.”
4. The Legally Binding Harem Situation
Fey law dictated that any ruler of more than ten realms must have a harem for ‘stability.’
Thirty of the most absurdly attractive men and women were immediately bound to her by arcane contract.
Mai had absolutely no idea how this happened.
“I don’t even like half of you!”
“But the law says you do,” a gorgeous elf purred.
Mai screamed into a pillow.
Finding the Loopholes to Get Home
After two years of bureaucratic nightmares, Mai discovered several loopholes:
The Dual-Residency Clause: If an Empress chose to reside elsewhere part-time, she could hold dual rulership.
The Time-Warp Condition: Two weeks in the human realm equaled two years in the Fey realm.
The Fey-Human Travel Pass: If she could ‘justify’ it, she could go back and forth freely.
She spent months negotiating, arguing, and once, literally throwing a law book at someone’s head before securing a way home.
Returning to SPR (With Company)
The moment she stepped back into the SPR office, the chaos resumed immediately.
Naru looked up from his tea. Blinked. Set his cup down. “Mai. Why are there thirty supernatural beings behind you?”
Mai flopped onto the couch. “Long story.”
“Summarize.”
“… Accidentally became Fey Empress, acquired 35 realms, got a harem against my will.”
Silence.
Yasuhara, sipping his tea, leaned forward. “And how, pray tell, would one join this harem?”
Mai shot him a glare. “Don’t even think about it.”
Ayako, smirking, nudged Monk. “You know, I bet we could—”
Monk grinned. “Mai, would it be technically illegal if we tried?”
Mai groaned. “Absolutely.”
Unfortunately for her, Yasuhara was very good at paperwork. Somehow, he, Ayako, and Monk managed to exploit a Fey legal loophole and got themselves added to her harem—against her will.
Mai let out a strangled scream.
Naru sighed. “I should have stayed in England.”
The Fey glittered ominously.
And thus, chaos was restored.