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It was always the same routine for Reisen Udongein Inaba. Go to Eientei, get pranked by Tewi, get medicines from Eirin, go to the Human Village in a disguise, fight about a million fairies on the way there, and sell, sell, sell. She was currently in that last phase of the cycle, attempting to sell medicines at the human village. No one was showing up, however. While the disguise she wore was very effective at making her seem like a somewhat typical human woman, she still felt like today was abnormally slow. Maybe no one in the village was sick?
As she mused this question, her ears attempted to perk up to the sound of buzz coming from further into town. Despite the fact that her ears weren't able to poke through the large hat she wore, she could still hear it. Heading deeper into the village, she saw a bunch of people crowded around someone who was in a very similar outfit. This individual seemed much livelier than she ever was, and practically had half of the village wrapped around their finger.
"Come one, come all! I have an incredible deal for you all today!" The figure declared, before pulling a few foil-looking things from her pack. They were slim and shiny, and seemed like containers to Reisen. "Pocket-Kai booster packs! Six cards plus one energy card for a thousand yen." Once they declared the price, everyone in the crowd checked their money, and found they didn't have enough to spare in their budgets. As such, most of them turned around and left. It didn't take long for the crowd to spot Reisen, and most of them flocked to Reisen for the medicine they needed to buy.
"Do you have any painkillers? I tripped yesterday."
"My son is sick, he needs a cure!"
"I want to get hi-I mean, stop the pain in my arm. Ouch."
The crowd all had their various reasons for needing medicine, some more dubious than others. Despite her negative charisma, Reisen managed to score some sales from each patron. At the end of the frenzy, Reisen tallied up her sales. Today was actually one of her better days sales-wise. As she looked around in the aftermath, she saw the other seller staring at her. This made her uneasy, as the red eyes of the other seller could be hiding anything. Malice and contempt, or perhaps some sort of careful planning? Either way, Reisen didn't stick around for long enough to find out.
Mike Goutokuji had an interesting trip through the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. At first, she tried to sneakily follow that medicine seller she found. Surely she had to be up to something, given her ability to sell a lot of product without needing charisma. Maybe that ability could help the marketeers she was working for?
But then she fought through a million fairies, lost the medicine seller's trail, and ended up lost.
"Honestly, I should've expected this. This isn't the Bamboo Forest of the Found. But it's also not the Bamboo Forest of a Million Fairies, so I have no clue why that all happened…"
"Need help?"
Mike, startled by the voice behind her, turned around and found someone she couldn't recognize. This person had white hair and burnt sleeves. Mike looked at her, and a series of ideas ran through her mind. The sleeves must be from explosive experiments, and the white hair must've been from botched hair care medicine!
"You're that medicine seller! Tell me, how did you sell so much medicine? Why are you able to sell so much-"
"No."
"Huh?" Mike was surprised. How could this not be the medicine seller? What else could've caused those burnt sleeves?
"I'm not a medicine seller. I just help people navigate this forest. So, once again… Need help?"
"Well, yeah, actually. Do you know where that medicine seller went?"
"Yup, follow me."
Mike did as instructed, following this odd not-medicine-seller through the dense bamboo forest. She was still suspicious about this person, but she knew that marketeers aren't supposed to ask too many questions to potential clients. That tended to scare them off, which is something Mike knew from experience. Soon, the two arrived at what appeared to be a large, old-styled Japanese mansion.
"Alright, here we are. Tell Kaguya that I'm gonna burn Eientei down, okay?"
"Got it!" With that, Mike waltzed right up to the front door, and knocked. As soon as the door was open, Mike announced, with all of the gusto and social awareness of a true door-to-door saleswoman: "Hi! I'm gonna burn Eientei down!" Her guide to Eientei could only watch in mild disappointment as the marketeer was knocked out with a direct smack upside the head from a bow, and dragged inside.
Reisen had finally gotten back to Eientei, and was able to put her usual outfit on. She felt much more comfortable in her combo of white shirt and light red skirt. As she stepped into the central living area of Eientei, she could hear her teacher in medicine shouting from the hallway.
"Reisen, get the chair!"
"The normal one, the soft one, the rickety one, or the electric one?" Reisen replied, already moving to the designated chair room.
"Normal!"
Reisen did as requested, and got a normal chair from the chair room. She set it in the middle of the living area, as medicine master Eirin dragged the catgirl in. Said catgirl had lost the hat to her disguise, so her ears were fully visible.
"This one threatened to burn down Eientei, so we're going to ask her why. Go get your business suit." Eirin stated with a chilling calmness. Reisen did as instructed, going to her room and putting on her red tie and black business suit. Once she came back to the lobby, a not-so-faint "HELP ME EIRIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!" could be heard from Kaguya's chambers.
"I can handle this." Reisen assured, standing in front of the unconscious marketeer. As Eirin left with an appreciative nod, Mike finally came to. She looked up at Reisen, causing both to flinch on instinct. Mike composed herself first, and spoke.
"Is there a reason you feel the need to treat me like a criminal? I'm simply a humble marketeer."
"Apparently you threatened to commit arson, which is a crime in most places!"
"Where is it not a crime?"
"The Divine Spirit Mausoleum."
"Well, that just makes sense. They got plenty of water down there, at least last I checked."
"Irrelevant! Why did you threaten to burn down Eientei?"
"A white-haired lady told me to tell Kaguya that I was gonna do that…and I see that I was supposed to tell her that SHE was gonna do that, not me. Whoops." Mike had a moment of realization as she spoke, and flushed slightly from embarrassment.
"Oh. Hold on a moment, I know who you're talking about." Reisen turned around, and pulled her megaphone gun out of her suit. She tapped it a few times, before yelling in that direction: "ATTENTION KAGUYA, MOKOU'S GONNA BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!" Within moments of that announcement, Kaguya gleefully ran out of her room, wielding Excalibur as she skipped towards the door.
"Why does she have that?" Mike pondered, quiet, yet loud enough for Reisen to hear.
"She has a lot of odd things, don't worry about it." Reisen commented, putting her megaphone gun back in her suit. "Regardless, what's your name, potential arsonist?"
"Mike Goutokuji. how about you, kidnapper?"
"Reisen Udongein Inaba. Why are you really here?"
"Easy! I was chasing a medicine seller! They seemed to be a nervous wreck, and were able to sell so much better than I could!"
"Oh, that was me." Reisen admitted, looking to the side with a bashful blush.
"Really?! Tell me how you do it! How did you sell so much? What powers do you have? Can I borrow the-" Before Mike could finish her barrage of questions, she felt Reisen's finger press against her forehead in imitation of a gun.
"Can it, cat." Reisen threatened, twitching slightly. It was like a switch had been flipped, and her whole demeanor was near opposite to how it was moments ago.
"Whoa, you aren't even close to that medicine seller anymore! Besides, what are you gonna do, shoot me?"
To prove her threat, Reisen pointed her finger at a glass of fruit punch near the entrance to Kaguya's chambers, and proceeded to blast it with her fingers. As the unhealthily red liquid splattered across the walls and floor near it, Mike gulped, and simply nodded without saying another word.
"Here's the deal. Even though this was a misunderstanding, we don't take kindly to arsonists here. That's why Futo's been banned from here for months now. As such, you're gonna apologize to Eirin for stressing her out more than she needs, and then you're gonna help us out. Understood?"
As Mike opened her mouth to respond, the two heard a loud crash behind the chair. As Reisen looked ahead, she saw two figures who had just broken in by crashing through the ceiling. One wore an extravagant rainbow dress and held a megaphone, and the other wore a more subtle dark blue dress, carrying a tripod over her shoulder.
"Mike! We're here to help free you from this place!" The one in blue announced as she inched closer to the bound marketeer.
"Mrs. Iizunamaru? I never thought you'd come to my-"
"NAME YOUR OFFER, RABBIT." Before Mike could finish her sentence, the other figure was speaking into her megaphone, forcing Reisen to fold her ears.
"What offer?"
"FOR HER FREEDOM."
"Uhh… A hundred thousand Yen?"
"YOU WILL PAY ME TEN MILLION YEN FOR THIS CAT'S FREEDOM." As the rainbow one declared this, her partner in this operation smacked her face.
"Chimata, that's not how negotiations work. You're supposed to give them the money."
"WELL, MEGUMU, DO YOU THINK I HAVE INSIDER KNOWLEDGE ABOUT HOW NEGOTIATIONS WORK? I'M A MARKET GODDESS, NOT A NEGOTIATIONS GODDESS."
"I expect you to at least have common sense!"
As Megumu and Chimata started their argument, Reisen spotted a nearby crack in the ground a few feet away from Mike's chair. The crack soon broke upwards, a golden pickaxe shining through as an Oomukade poked her head out.
"Is this where y'all wanted me to dig?" The creature asked, looking back at the two arguing "teammates."
"NO!" Yelled Chimata.
"Really, Momoyo? You were supposed to dig under Mike. Silly centipede."
"Well, damn. Also, don't call me that. Ever."
The scene only devolved further as the ceiling broke again, this time from Kaguya crashing into the room through the roof. Soon, the guide Mike met earlier jumped down from the hole Kaguya left, before the two immediately continued fighting. While this was going on, Eirin rushed out of Kaguya's room, only to slip on the punch that was spilled on the floor earlier.
"TEWI!!" Eirin shouted, causing the smaller rabbit in question to hop in from one of the hallways. As she did, she jumped onto Momoyo's head, causing the Oomukade to screech in pain. It didn't take long for Momoyo to begin fighting Tewi, and for Eirin to also join in that battle. Chimata and Megumu shrugged at each other, before also jumping onto the fray. Their battle soon converged with Kaguya and Mokou's clash, resulting in an all-out free-for-all brawl with no real objective. As the chaos unfolded around them, Reisen and Mike both looked at each other.
"I know I'm in no position to ask this, but do you wanna ditch this place while our friends resolve their problems?" Mike offered, tilting her head toward the front door.
"Yeah. We should." Reisen concurred, untying Mike and sneaking away from the battle with her in tow. Soon, the two made their way to a nearby clearing outside, where they both flopped down onto the grass beneath them.
"That was a lot."
"You're telling me. That's the most chaotic Eientei has been in a good few weeks, which is saying something."
"Sounds a lot like Chimata's hideout. I don't know what those three see in each other, but the nonsense is daily with them. They mean well, but they only have a few areas of expertise each."
"I'm assuming hostage situations aren't one of them?"
"Oh, New Hell naw!" Mike laughed after declaring this, which spread to Reisen as well. It didn't take long for them to start reminiscing about their respective jobs and sharing their craziest stories.
"And then she decided to replace the moon with a fake moon to hide Kaguya from the real moon." Reisen said, looking back at the memory of her first incident.
"No! That's what that was all about? That's absolutely nuts!"
"She just wanted everyone in Gensokyo to have cards…For a price, of course!" Mike explained as the sun began to lower behind the towering bamboo.
"Typical, really. There's always a price, at least that's what Eirin taught me."
"I swear there's something going on with those two. Their fights always end with them lying right next to each other." Reisen speculated, holding her hand up to her chin.
"I get that feeling. One minute, my boss is bickering with her business partners in order to get the best deal for herself, next she's figuring out how to bake a cake suitable for one of her girlfriends and commissioning a huge stuffed bear for the other. At least according to Tsukasa, and she's dubious at best as a primary source."
"Sweet of her to do those things. That said, are you a Tengu?"
"Nope, but I fit better with them than I do my own kind, so I work with them. The Marketeers in particular. I generally like it there, even if the people in the chain above me don't have all of their screws in."
"I relate, at least somewhat. I used to live on the moon. Life there wasn't great, and after the Lunar War began, I couldn't handle it and deserted. I came down here, and it's a lot nicer, even if one of my bosses is very lax, and the other's very strict."
"Fair enough. Say, remember how you said I was gonna help you earlier? I think we could come to a deal of some sort. You know, cooperation." Mike rolled to her side, looking over at and holding her hand out towards Reisen. "We got a deal?"
It took Reisen a moment to consider this offer. She didn't know Mike that well, but she could tell that they had a lot in common. Even if neither of them went too deep into their reasoning, there was a clear link between them in the fact that they both left their old lives behind to pursue better ones. She actually felt a bit comfortable around Mike now, which wasn't common for her. With a small smile, Reisen reached out, and shook Mike's hand.
"Sure, why not?"
A few days later, both were back at the Human Village in their disguises. After getting their deal approved by both Eirin and the Marketeers, the two set up shop, and waited. Mike tossed her coin into the air, flipping it and landing on heads. This would ensure more people appeared for them to sell to.
"We got loads of people incoming. You sell the medicine, and I'll flip it again once they're here." Mike explained, looking over at Reisen with a grin. The latter gave a thumbs up, and cleared her throat as the crowd began to form. Her medicine selling went as usual, only with a bit more confidence. As she sold her medicine, Mike flipped the coin again to land on tails, which tended to attract more money than it did people. As people found they had more money on them than they thought, Reisen took her chance.
"Oh! By the way, we're also offering Pocket-Kai cards today! If you need a game to play during recovery and have some extra money in your budget after the medicine, these booster packs should give you plenty of e-excitement!" Reisen slowly got more nervous as she pitched the cards, but found herself calming down as Mike gave her a thumbs up. This time, people actually bought the booster packs in droves. So many, in fact, they nearly sold out of their stock. Once that was all over, the two walked back to Eientei together.
"That was excellent! I knew this partnership would work out!"
"Yeah… Thanks for backing me up there."
"No, I should be thanking you! Say, what do you say about making this partnership more… Personal?" Mike offered, walking a bit closer to Reisen's side.
Reisen blushed and looked away, yet she still chose to wrap an arm around Mike's shoulder and pull her just a bit closer. "That, umm… sounds good, yes."
"I knew you were still shy under it all! It's cute honestly. Now, let's go tell everybody how we did!" Mike cheered. She had good reason to cheer, given how everything had managed to turn for the best.
And then they got swarmed by a million fairies.