Work Text:
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Sept. 29, 2054 — 22:36
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hello?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: This is Pilot Kuroo Tetsurou currently dispatched on the mission Jupiter-Redstone Nine. Is anybody there?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Please.
Kuroo-san, this is Haiba Lev at Mission Control.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Holy shit. Fuck. My ship is–
[Silence.]
Kuroo-san? Is everything okay?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Something’s wrong. I can’t alter course.
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I said I can’t fucking alter course. The controls aren’t working.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I think my ship has lost power.
What makes you think your ship has lost power?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I just fucking told you. My controls aren’t working. I’m drifting off-course.
Are your boosters functional?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No.
What else is working besides your communication terminal?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t– Um, let me check.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Emergency systems are all functional. Lights and oxygen and shit. I’m not gonna–
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t think I’m gonna die.
Standby, Kuroo-san.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou? This is Flight Director Nekomata. Lev has updated me on your situation. Can you confirm that all non-emergency systems are currently down?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yes, for the last fucking time, I can’t do jack shit about anything right now.
I understand. Please try to stay calm. We’re going to get you home.
[Silence.]
Kuroo-san?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, I’m just…
Kuroo Tetsurou: What happens now?
We send a rescue shuttle. The tracking on your ship is still functional on our end, so we have your coordinates.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How long will that take?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hello?
We’re trying to figure that out. Standby.
[Silence.]
We can get someone to you in about two weeks. Do you have enough food and water to make it until then?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Two weeks? Are you fucking kidding?
Kuroo-san, do you have enough provisions?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, I–
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yes. I have enough.
Two weeks. You’ll be alright.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: What am I supposed to do?
What do you mean?
Kuroo Tetsurou: For two weeks. What am I supposed to do, just sit here? I’ll lose my mind.
Is your video diary system functional?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: You want me to talk to myself?
Well, that’s not–
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yes, it’s functional. I’m still gonna lose my mind.
[Silence.]
Standby, Kuroo-san.
[Silence.]
Okay. We have a CAPCOM officer who just returned from medical leave. He hasn’t been assigned a new mission yet, so we’re going to have him be your… buddy, for lack of a better word.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Buddy?
He’ll be on call to keep you company while he handles some administrative stuff day-to-day. He won’t be available 24/7, but it’s something.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Holy shit, I’m being assigned a babysitter.
Not exactly–
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s fine. I’ll take it. What’s his name?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou? This is CAPCOM officer Yaku Morisuke. We’re about to get pretty sick of each other, I think.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou settles in frame, running a hand through his hair, and addresses the camera directly.]
Okay so. Hey. [Laughs.] I’ve been pretty bad at keeping this thing current, huh? Honestly, I figured I’d only be up here for a week, so a video diary seemed kind of pointless. What, am I supposed to have feelings about routine satellite maintenance? No. I don’t.
I do have feelings about being stranded in space, though. It’s just something I didn’t think would really be a problem.
[He sighs, averting his gaze.]
They train us for this. I remember having to go through, like, psychotherapy and stress training for this kind of thing. It’s wild, though. I still didn’t think it could happen to me. Even now, I feel like it’s different? Like, I know what I’m supposed to do and how to ration my food and water and all the exercises that will keep me from having issues when I get back, but it doesn’t compute. I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel the same.
They prepare you for the worst and you’re like oh, yeah, this is just part of the process. They have to tell us this stuff. It’s a legal thing. And then you actually get fucking stranded in space and you’re like oh, yeah, no, this can actually happen.
[He pauses.]
It did happen. I’m fucking stranded in space.
[He sits in silence for a few seconds.]
What do I even say here? Like, that’s it. That’s the whole thing. I don’t know how to feel about it yet, but yeah. I guess I’m scared. I know I’m scared, actually, I just think I don’t really know what that means yet.
I think they can tell at Mission Control. I don’t think I was hiding it that well. They probably wouldn’t have let me get away with cursing out the Flight Director if they didn’t know I was freaking the fuck out. Who wouldn’t, though? I’m fucking stranded in space.
I know I keep saying that, but like, yeah. I am fucking stranded. In space.
[Another pause.]
Fuck, man. They gave me some CAPCOM guy to talk to, but what if I hate him? He seems like he kind of sucks. The first thing he said to me was that he was sick of me already, or something like that, I don’t know. I didn’t retain much of that conversation. My adrenaline was crazy high, and still is, so I probably didn’t give a great first impression anyway.
Even if I hate him, he’ll be a distraction from– [Gestures vaguely with his hand.] –this, I guess.
I don’t know. I’ll keep you updated on whatever happens for the next two weeks. I don’t know who “you” is. Myself. Or whoever at Mission Control downloads this thing to watch later on, assuming the rescue mission is successful.
[He shakes his head as if banishing the thought.]
Nope. I’m not gonna think about that. Absolutely not. I’m gonna go eat some strawberry ice cream and write my speech for when I get a fucking Nobel Peace Prize.
[He reaches for the camera.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
September 30th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
09:12
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey CAPCOM
09:13
kuroo_tetsurou: I have a question
09:46
yaku_morisuke: Hi, Kuroo-san. Sorry, we had a mandatory meeting. Just got out.
yaku_morisuke: What’s up?
09:51
kuroo_tetsurou: Uh
10:03
yaku_morisuke: Do you actually have a question?
10:04
kuroo_tetsurou: No, I figured I would think of one before you answered
10:04
yaku_morisuke: And then you didn’t.
10:04
kuroo_tetsurou: No
10:04
yaku_morisuke: Let me know when you think of one. I’m being paid to talk to you.
10:06
kuroo_tetsurou: Is that the only reason you messaged me back
10:06
yaku_morisuke: Well, yes.
10:06
kuroo_tetsurou: Ouch
kuroo_tetsurou: Do I need to have a question for you to talk to me then
kuroo_tetsurou: Or do you get paid either way
10:07
yaku_morisuke: I get paid either way just by being available, I think, but if you report me to Nekomata-san we’d have a problem.
10:11
kuroo_tetsurou: Did that make you sweat
10:11
yaku_morisuke: What, you not answering for four minutes?
10:11
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah
10:15
yaku_morisuke: You tell me.
10:15
kuroo_tetsurou: Why are you messing with a national hero
10:16
yaku_morisuke: Hinata Shouyou is not in this chat.
10:16
kuroo_tetsurou: I meant me, obviously
10:16
yaku_morisuke: The only national hero I’ve met is Hinata Shouyou.
10:16
kuroo_tetsurou: You’ve met Hinata Shouyou???
10:17
yaku_morisuke: Wow, so you do know how to use punctuation.
10:17
kuroo_tetsurou: Can I get another CAPCOM guy
10:19
yaku_morisuke: I can ask.
10:19
kuroo_tetsurou: No it’s fine
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re just kind of annoying
kuroo_tetsurou: But I guess it’s better than boring
10:19
yaku_morisuke: wow.
yaku:morisuke: Did you really just call me annoying?
10:20
kuroo_tetsurou: Oh so you make fun of me for not using punctuation
kuroo_tetsurou: But you going full lapslock is fine
10:20
yaku_morisuke: Typo.
10:20
kuroo_tetsurou: Right
10:21
yaku_morisuke: You’re avoiding the question.
10:21
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah I called you annoying
kuroo_tetsurou: I thought you were doing it on purpose
10:21
yaku_morisuke: I’m not.
10:21
kuroo_tetsurou: Damn
10:22
yaku_morisuke: You’re pretty annoying too, you know.
10:22
kuroo_tetsurou: No I know
kuroo_tetsurou: I actually am doing it on purpose
10:22
yaku_morisuke: Why?
10:25
kuroo_tetsurou: Idk
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m stuck in space
kuroo_tetsurou: What else is there to do
10:31
yaku_morisuke: Are you going to go crying to our boss if I play along?
10:32
kuroo_tetsurou: Fuck no
kuroo_tetsurou: Sorry, heck no
10:32
yaku_morisuke: I don’t give a shit if you curse, I’m just here to make sure you don’t kill yourself.
yaku_morisuke: Or, like, forget how oxygen works.
10:32
kuroo_tetsurou: Don’t worry, Yaku-sama
kuroo_tetsurou: My mind is a steel trap
kuroo_tetsurou: Like Jinbe from One Piece
10:32
yaku_morisuke: On the other hand, I could just let it happen.
10:33
kuroo_tetsurou: Is that a threat
10:33
yaku_morisuke: I have no idea what you mean.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Sept. 30, 2054 — 18:51
Kuroo-san?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey, CAPCOM.
Is there something you need?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I mean, other than a ride home?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Some real food would be nice.
I mean now, from me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why, do you have somewhere to be?
I was about to head home for the day.
[Silence.]
If you need something, though–
Kuroo Tetsurou: No worries.
You sure?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, of course.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s not like I’m going anywhere.
[Silence.]
I’ll be back in like thirteen hours.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Noted.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Is someone gonna be available in case…?
Yeah. Night shift should be filtering in in a few minutes. If you need something, Inuoka-san will be here.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Inuoka-san.
He’s your guy.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right.
Goodnight, Kuroo-san.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: ‘Night.
___________________________________
October 1st, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
08:03
yaku_morisuke: Good morning, Kuroo-san.
09:26
yaku_morisuke: I’m surprised you’re not awake yet.
10:41
yaku_morisuke: How late did you go to sleep last night?
11:12
kuroo_tetsurou: Time is meaningless
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m not even inside an atmosphere
11:13
yaku_morisuke: Are you depressed?
11:13
kuroo_tetsurou: What kind of question is that
11:13
yaku_morisuke: Sorry, I was just asking because it seemed like it might be the case.
11:13
kuroo_tetsurou: Of course I’m depressed
kuroo_tetsurou: I haven’t seen a person in eight days
kuroo_tetsurou: You can’t just ask a depressed person if they’re depressed
11:13
yaku_morisuke: Well, I wanted to check.
11:13
kuroo_tetsurou: That’s like
kuroo_tetsurou: Asking a bird if it can fly
kuroo_tetsurou: While it’s literally in the air
11:14
yaku_morisuke: Okay, asshole. It’s not that bad.
11:14
kuroo_tetsurou: It was that bad
kuroo_tetsurou: It was a stupid question
11:14
yaku_morisuke: Can you fuck off?
11:14
kuroo_tetsurou: Are you stupid CAPCOM
kuroo_tetsurou: Are you allowed to work at JAXA if you’re stupid
11:14
yaku_morisuke: I should just let you suffer.
11:14
kuroo_tetsurou: But you won’t :D
11:15
yaku_morisuke: Did you just use a smiley face in a work setting?
11:15
kuroo_tetsurou: You just told me to fuck off
11:15
yaku_morisuke: No, I asked you to fuck off.
11:15
kuroo_tetsurou: Well the answer is no
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re stuck with me
11:16
yaku_morisuke: Accurate.
11:16
kuroo_tetsurou: Dick
11:16
yaku_morisuke: Ass.
11:17
kuroo_tetsurou: Anyway
kuroo_tetsurou: What’s for lunch
11:18
yaku_morisuke: ?
11:18
kuroo_tetsurou: Come on
kuroo_tetsurou: Let me live vicariously through you
11:19
yaku_morisuke: Takikomi gohan.
11:19
kuroo_tetsurou: Just said ‘fuck’ out loud
11:19
yaku_morisuke: You’ve literally been gone for a week.
11:19
kuroo_tetsurou: And?
kuroo_tetsurou: I miss food
kuroo_tetsurou: I miss a lot of things
11:20
yaku_morisuke: Like what?
11:20
kuroo_tetsurou: Are you trying to torture me or
11:21
yaku_morisuke: I’m making conversation.
11:28
kuroo_tetsurou: Music, mostly
11:29
yaku_morisuke: They didn’t let you bring music?
11:29
kuroo_tetsurou: No, they did
kuroo_tetsurou: But like
kuroo_tetsurou: Other music
kuroo_tetsurou: Live music
11:29
yaku_morisuke: Want me to sing for you?
11:29
kuroo_tetsurou: YOU CAN SING???
11:29
yaku_morisuke: I’m kidding.
yaku_morisuke: Completely kidding.
yaku_morisuke: Do not get any ideas.
11:30
kuroo_tetsurou: Well now it’s in my head
11:30
yaku_morisuke: Then forget it.
11:30
kuroo_tetsurou: Impossible
11:30
yaku_morisuke: I shouldn’t have said anything.
11:31
kuroo_tetsurou: You absolutely shouldn’t
kuroo_tetsurou: But now it’s out there
11:31
yaku_morisuke: It’s never happening.
11:31
kuroo_tetsurou: I’ll get you to break before the end of this
kuroo_tetsurou: Mark my words
11:32
yaku_morisuke: I’m going to eat lunch now.
11:32
kuroo_tetsurou: Right…
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey, treasure that takikomi gohan
11:37
kuroo_tetsurou: You never know when you won’t get to
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Shot obscured by something floating in front of the camera.]
Fuck.
[The object is moved out of the way, revealing Kuroo Tetsurou behind it.]
Hey. It’s October first. I don’t think I timestamped the last one, but whatever. No one’s gonna watch these anyway.
[He coughs, reaches for a water packet floating next to him, and takes a drink.]
Okay, yeah. I don’t… really have anything to say. I just figured I should do one of these because I didn’t yesterday. Honestly, I forgot.
Nothing’s changed, as far as I’m aware. ETA is still two weeks from yesterday. I guess that’s good, right? No news is good news.
Yaku is, uh. [Laughs.] He’s certainly not what I expected, to put it nicely.
I kinda called it, though. He is a little bit of a dick. He’s just kind of a fun one, which was a pleasant surprise. He doesn’t get pissed when I bother him. I mean he does, but in the way where I can tell he’s kinda having fun with it too? Like, he plays along. I didn’t think he would, at first, because he types like he has a stick up his ass, but he told me to fuck off today. [Laughs.] He asked me to fuck off, actually. Like that’s any different.
[He pauses.]
He got me thinking about music, though, so I think I’m gonna look around here and see if there’s anything I can, like, whack with something else. Like a DIY instrument. I have a hairbrush somewhere.
[He runs a hand through his unkempt hair.]
Fuck knows where, though.
Anyway, I’ll update you on how that goes. Maybe I’ll record it if it sounds good. Play along with some of the CDs I brought. We’ll see.
[He salutes the camera, then reaches out in front of him.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 1st, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
18:58
kuroo_tetsurou: Night, CAPCOM
19:01
yaku_morisuke: Goodnight, Kuroo.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 2nd, 2054 — 07:42
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey.
[Silence.]
Hey.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You answered!
Your sleep schedule is fucked.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How do you know that?
You were up late two nights ago and didn’t even wake up until the afternoon–
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, well–
–and now you’re up before eight. Hold on, did you sleep at all?
[Silence.]
Kuroo.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You worried about me?
Should I be?
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Never.
You should sleep, Kuroo-san.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, give up the Kuroo-san bullshit already.
That’s your name.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You can’t just add the honorific when you’re feeling zesty.
I have never felt ‘zesty’ in my life.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Aw, come on, CAPCOM.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Everyone feels a little zesty once in a while. A little [unidentifiable noise].
What the fuck was that?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You know, [unidentifiable noise].
Are you losing it already?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, I’m just feeling pretty [unidentifiable noise] myself, I guess.
Zesty.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Zesty. Exactly.
What else are you feeling today?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, listen, there’s no need to therapize me. I’m just–
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m fine. Just, you know.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Zesty. [Laughs.]
You’re definitely something.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Uh, I don’t know, I don’t have one. Why?
Kuroo Tetsurou: What do you mean, you don’t have one?
Like there are a lot of ice cream flavors that are good.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah but you’ve gotta have a favorite.
I mean it depends on the day.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Today, then.
Mango, probably. Or like, I don’t know. Some kind of fruit.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Strawberry?
Hell no. Strawberry is too basic.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Agreed. That’s all I’ve got up here and let me tell you, I’m not eating strawberry ice cream again for months.
Kuroo Tetsurou: But, yeah. Mango’s cool. Mine is pistachio.
Pistachio is good. That’s up there for sure. Cookies and cream, too.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Cookies and cream?
What? What’s funny?
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Still laughing.]
What the fuck is funny?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You can’t just– [Laughs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: You just called strawberry basic.
Yeah, and?
Kuroo Tetsurou: And then you bring up fucking cookies and cream.
Those are so not on the same level.
Kuroo Tetsurou: They are.
They’re not.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Basic.
You’re basic.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Good one, CAPCOM.
I’m not gonna tell you my other favorite now.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Don’t tell me it’s chocolate.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck. This is so tragic.
You’re–
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Were you about to call me tragic?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: You really need some new insults.
There are so many things I want to call you right now, but my boss just walked in the room.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You have to know how that sounds.
Ugh, not like that, you heathen.
[Muffled speaking.]
One sec.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Take your time.
[Silence.]
Fuck, alright, I have to go. Boss is calling an emergency meeting.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Is everything okay?
Yeah, just–
[Muffled speaking.]
It’s nothing major. Nothing to do with you. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Hang in there.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Aw, so you do care.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 2nd, 2054 — 09:21
Hey.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey, CAPCOM. How was the meeting?
Huh? Oh, it was fine. False alarm.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, that’s good.
Just glad it’s over.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So you can talk to me more?
Don’t act so excited.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I am excited.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Talking to you beats what I was doing before.
What were you doing?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Naming all the buttons in the cockpit.
What, like identifying them?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, like giving them names. People names.
[Silence.]
Maybe I should actually call you more.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I swear I’m not going crazy.
I’m not convinced.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I was already crazy.
And they let you on a solo mission?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m kidding.
You know, I don’t think you are.
[Silence.]
You have to be a little crazy to go up there, though.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You think?
Hell yeah. I couldn’t do it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What if you got paid, like, a hundred million yen?
Not worth it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Two hundred million?
Yeah, but then I could end up stuck up there with some loser astronaut like you. That would be hell on Earth. Or off Earth, I guess.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Rude!
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re already stuck with me, anyway, and you can’t even see the view I’ve got right now.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So you already kinda have the worst of it without the perks.
[Laughs.] Fuck, you’re right. Maybe I should just quit.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s either that or get in that fucking rocket.
Imagine I was the one to come save you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: My hero!
Alright.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.]
Anyway.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Anyway what?
I don’t know. I’m trying to think of something to say.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re not very sociable, are you?
Okay, fuck you. I am. You’re just… different from the people I normally associate with.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That feels like an insult.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: You are so fucking mean to me.
You seem to exist purely to make my life difficult.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, come on, CAPCOM. We talk, like, twice a day.
And every time it makes me wanna break something.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m just pushing your buttons.
Are you naming them, too?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ohoho, Yaku with the callback!
Ew.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What?
I don’t think I’ve heard you say my name before.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So you said ‘ew’?
Well.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m leaving.
Your loss.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And reporting you to Nekomata-san.
No, don’t leave! What’s, uh, what’s the weather like up there?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh my god, fuck you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m not reporting you, but I am pinging you back first thing tomorrow, and I expect at least three icebreaker questions at the ready.
Are you serious?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Deathly.
You’re so annoying.
Kuroo Tetsurou: An absolutely inspired observation.
___________________________________
October 2nd, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
13:06
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m bored
13:13
yaku_morisuke: I thought you said you’d ping me tomorrow.
13:14
kuroo_tetsurou: That was at like 10am your time
kuroo_tetsurou: Did you expect me to go a whole day without talking
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m an animal in a cage, CAPCOM, I need my structured enrichment time
13:14
yaku_morisuke: You say ‘my time’ like you have a time.
13:14
kuroo_tetsurou: Your time is not universal
kuroo_tetsurou: Just because I don’t have a time doesn’t mean your time isn’t your time
13:14
yaku_morisuke: Point taken.
yaku_morisuke: You seem chatty.
13:15
kuroo_tetsurou: I am chatty
13:15
yaku_morisuke: What’s on your mind?
13:15
kuroo_tetsurou: Can you radio?
13:15
yaku_morisuke: Yeah.
>
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 2nd, 2054 — 13:15
Kuroo Tetsurou: There’s nothing specific on my mind, honestly. I just want to, like, talk to someone.
Okay, well I’ve thought of one icebreaker for tomorrow if you want to cash in for it now.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hell yeah.
Do you have a bucket list, and if so, what are some of the things on it?
Kuroo Tetsurou: A bucket list?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, things I wanna do before I die?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t really have a physical list or anything.
That’s fine.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hm. That’s a good question.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I haven’t thought about it much. The big one was to go to space.
[Laughs.] Okay, check. Anything else?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t know. Get back home? [Laughs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: What are some of yours?
I’d like to see an Olympic volleyball game. That’s been number one since I was a kid.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And you’ve never done it?
Never had the chance.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What do you mean, you’ve never had the chance? That’s gotta be something you just, you know… do.
Well, I didn’t have the money to travel until recently, and then I got this job and it’s hard to plan that far in advance. You have to buy tickets years ahead of time. I don’t know what I’ll be doing years from now.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I mean, yeah, but–
It’s okay, honestly. I’m not the type to say I want something and never go for it. I just need to have some control over the way it happens, I guess, and until very recently, life has been too crazy to commit to something like that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, that makes sense.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You do seem like the grounded type.
Ha.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, I didn’t mean grounded as in on the ground, jackass.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I meant–
I know what you meant. Yeah, I guess I am. Kind of? Like, I don’t mind being out of my comfort zone, but I need to know what’s going on. I need to have eyes on the whole process. I’m adaptive and quick on my feet, but I need to understand the rules of the game.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I get it.
I’m better at dealing with uncertainty when I feel equipped to handle whatever comes at me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah.
Um, other than the Olympics, I want to visit every continent someday.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Even Antarctica?
I mean, sure. Why not?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Don’t you have to be a scientist or a billionaire to go there?
It could happen. I’m only thirty-one.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No way.
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m also thirty-one!
Oh. Cool.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Alright, quit it with the sarcasm.
I’m not being sarcastic, I just don’t have a response to that. [Laughs.] Great! We’re the same age!
Kuroo Tetsurou: You totally are being sarcastic!
I swear I’m not, I’m just finding it difficult to arouse the level of excitement you seem to expect, and my efforts are half-assed at best.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wow.
I think it’s kind of a silly thing to be excited about, but it’s nice that you’re excited about it, so I’m trying to be encouraging.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] I hope becoming a therapist isn’t on your bucket list.
Have I offended you?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No! Not at all, actually, I just get the feeling your friends must have thick skin.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Or extremely high self esteem.
Yeah, that’s probably true.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Luckily for you, I have both.
Wonderful.
[Silence.]
That was sarcasm, by the way.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, I heard it. Don’t worry.
[Laughs.] Good.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m trying to think of bucket list items.
You really don’t have any?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I just don’t think I plan like that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, I’m definitely a play-it-by-ear guy. An opportunist.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t really think ahead to stuff I want to see or accomplish, I just set short-term goals according to what’s going on in my life at the time.
What about things you want to see?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You mean wonders of the world and shit?
Sure.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, that would be cool, but it’s not, like, something I have to do before I die. I’m not here counting down the days until I get to do anything specific.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I just like living.
[Silence.]
I’m learning a lot about you, Kuroo.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And I you, CAPCOM.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: My stomach is fucking growling, though.
[Laughs.] Go eat. I should too.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, alright.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou grinning at the camera from inside the cockpit.]
Evening. It’s, uh, October second. Sometime in the evening, I think. I haven’t checked in a few hours, and obviously…
[He gestures to the view out the front.]
I can’t tell from here. But who cares, right? That’s not why I brought you here. I’m recording because I’d like to introduce you to some folks.
[He floats aside, revealing the controls behind him.]
Let’s start with the obvious.
This button right here starts the boosters. My boosters are broken, hence my being stuck up here and naming buttons after my friends from the academy to amuse myself, but–
[He pushes the button a few times. Nothing happens.]
–as you can see, it’s very big, and, when it does work, it makes the ship go super fast and is kinda one of the most important controls I’ve got. The leader of the buttons, if you will. For what I think should be obvious reasons, I’ve named it Koutarou, and, yes, Bokuto will absolutely be hearing about this when I get back.
Then we’ve got this guy right here, the one blinking orange. It’s a kind of safety button? When you press it, it puts all your systems in sustained energy mode, so you don’t use up too much fuel or power just floating around. It keeps your shit in working condition without overexerting anything. Like starting your car once a week to keep it functional. I’ve decided to call it Daichi.
And here is the panic button. This tiny, nondescript, red little button is the one that shuts everything down and goes into low power mode for absolute emergencies. It keeps the oxygen flowing, the pressure static, and the emergency lights on, but that’s about it. This little guy–
[He breaks out into a grin again.]
–is Kenma.
Oh, and this lever?
[He points to a lever in the corner of the control panel.]
This lever prepares the escape pod for detachment, and I’ve named it Suguru, because every time I talk to Daishou, I want to fling myself out into the abyss.
[He reaches out, laughing to himself.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 2nd, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
19:02
yaku_morisuke: What, no goodnight message?
20:43
kuroo_tetsurou: Omg
kuroo_tetsurou: My bad CAPCOM
kuroo_tetsurou: I was distracted
kuroo_tetsurou: It won’t happen again o(><)o
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 3rd, 2054 — 08:12
Did you fucking kaomoji me?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I did, yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Regretted it immediately.
Good. You should.
Kuroo Tetsurou: We can pretend it never happened.
Nuh uh.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What?
I’m not letting that go. You think I’m letting that go?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yes! You should one-hundred percent let it go.
No chance.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why?
Blackmail.
Kuroo Tetsurou: For what?
In case I need it, I don’t know.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You are so cruel.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Do you get enjoyment from fucking with me like this?
That’s rich, coming from you, ultimatum-san.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] When the fuck did I give you an ultimatum?
Literally yesterday.
Kuroo Tetsurou: When?
When you told me to have icebreakers ready this morning.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Holy shit, I did say that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I was mostly kidding.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I mean, I know I don’t know you that well, but I feel like you’re not an icebreaker kind of guy–
I’m not.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It sounds like you have some, though–
I don’t.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you sure?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Come on, CAPCOM. Let’s hear ‘em!
You are so…
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] What?
I’m not gonna say it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Is your boss in the room?
No.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Then say it.
No.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Say it.
I’m not gonna say it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I can take it, say it!
I’m not gonna–
Kuroo Tetsurou: Please?
Why do you want me to insult you?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t know, let’s not delve into that.
Gross. This is harassment.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No! Oh my god, no, not like–
Kuroo Tetsurou: I just mean this isn’t therapy, you know? I don’t wanna psychoanalyze myself.
[Laughs.] Right.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Bleck.
You’re the one who said it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I didn’t mean it like that!
On the record, too.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck, this is recorded.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s over. This is the end of me.
Don’t kill yourself or I’ll be fired instead.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Can you pretend to have empathy for, like, two seconds?
I do have empathy, you’re just an idiot.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You are such a–
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nope, nuh uh.
Come on Kuroo, say it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: A piece of shit. You’re a piece of shit.
[Laughs.] Nice.
Kuroo Tetsurou: See? [Laughs.] That wasn’t so hard.
Fine. You’re a piece of shit too, are you happy?
Kuroo Tetsurou: What a pair.
I hate you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Strong words for a piece of shit.
Do you want to hear the icebreakers or no?
Kuroo Tetsurou: So you do have some!
You asked me to come up with a few.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wow.
Shut the fuck up.
Kuroo Tetsurou: This is so cute.
Shut the fuck up!
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yes, I want to hear them. Shoot.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Kuroo Tetsurou: An astronaut. You?
Really?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, of course. No one becomes an astronaut by accident.
I guess. Why did you want to be an astronaut?
Kuroo Tetsurou: To go to space…? [Laughs.] What do you mean?
I don’t know! I’m making conversation.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, do it better. What did you want to be?
A professional volleyball player.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No way. How tall are you?
Um, one sixty-seven.
Kuroo Tetsurou: One sixty-seven what?
Centimeters, dumbass.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Scoffs.] No fucking way.
Kuroo Tetsurou: There’s no way you’re a hundred and sixty-seven centimeters tall and wanted to go pro for volleyball.
It’s true!
Kuroo Tetsurou: What did you want to be, the ball?
Fuck you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’d get stepped on!
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Hey, no– [Laughs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m kidding, come on.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: CAPCOM? You there?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: He fucking left, didn’t he?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Damn it.
___________________________________
October 3rd, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
08:41
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey I’m sorry that was rude
08:43
kuroo_tetsurou: I don’t really think you’d be the ball
09:27
kuroo_tetsurou: CAPCOM
09:53
kuroo_tetsurou: CAPCOM
10:04
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m gonna start calling you stupid shit if you don’t respond
10:16
kuroo_tetsurou: CAPCOM-kun
10:18
kuroo_tetsurou: CAP-kun
kuroo_tetsurou: No I like CAPCOM-kun better
10:19
kuroo_tetsurou: Yakkun
kuroo_tetsurou: Omg
kuroo_tetsurou: Yakom-kun
10:19
yaku_morisuke: Oh my fucking god, please stop.
10:19
kuroo_tetsurou: YAKOM-KUN
10:20
yaku_morisuke: What?
10:20
kuroo_tetsurou: You left me!!!!!!!
10:20
yaku_morisuke: You called me a fucking volleyball.
10:21
kuroo_tetsurou: I was joking
10:21
yaku_morisuke: It was not funny.
10:21
kuroo_tetsurou: It was a little funny
10:21
yaku_morisuke: die.
10:21
kuroo_tetsurou: Omg no caps…
kuroo_tetsurou: Curious
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 3rd, 2054 — 10:22
Kuroo Tetsurou: So.
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Do you give up on the caps and shit when I piss you off?
You always piss me off.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, like, massively.
Yeah, you always massively piss me off.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hmm.
Kuroo Tetsurou: More testing needs to be done.
You have no sense of self preservation, do you?
Kuroo Tetsurou: What, are you gonna kill me yourself?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I get off the rescue shuttle and you take me out right there?
Don’t try me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] You’re spunky, Yakom-kun. Zesty.
I’m vetoing Yakom-kun.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why? It’s cute.
Too bad.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fine, CAPCOM. Have it your way.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Do you just not like me using your name?
Somehow, you make it sound like an insult.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s just my voice, I think.
Whatever. If you’re gonna use it, just use it normally.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You got it, Yakkun.
[Sighs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: What position did you want to play?
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: In volleyball.
Can you just drop it?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, I’m serious. I want to know.
[Silence.]
Libero.
[Silence.]
Don’t ask if it’s because I’m–
Kuroo Tetsurou: I wasn’t gonna!
But you knew what I was gonna say!
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why did you want to be a libero?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m really asking!
[Silence.]
I like making people sweat.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Elaborate.
I just… It was fun to be the reason that guys with these huge egos got knocked down a peg, you know?
[Silence.]
I wanted to be in their nightmares. I wanted to be the face they saw when they woke up in the middle of the night with crippling anxiety.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s fucking dark.
Yeah, well, it’s the truth. I was good at it, too. It felt really fucking nice to, like, save the game, I guess? And that happened a lot. I’d be the one that kept the ball in play. I’d be the one that kept my team from falling behind. We played a lot of really talented guys in highschool, and they could have wiped the floor with us twelve times over if it was just about height and power. I helped level the playing field. I was the defense, the protector. I was… It was cool to be important.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wow, that's…
Kuroo Tetsurou: You know, I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you speak.
Fuck yourself.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, it’s a good thing. It was, uh. [Clears throat.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I have a lot of respect for that.
[Silence.]
Thanks.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So, how are you with constructive criticism?
Huh?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I have a note.
What do you mean you have a note? It’s what happened.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, I know, it’s just–
Kuroo Tetsurou: You said it was cool to be important, past tense, which– um.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, you’re pretty fucking important where you are now.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Objectively.
[Silence.]
I don’t really know what to say to that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You don’t have to say anything as long as you heard it.
I heard it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fantastic.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What’s icebreaker number two?
[Laughs.] You are so…
Kuroo Tetsurou: What?
Nothing.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Come on, Yakkun. I thought we were past this!
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Annoying? Stupid? Hit me with it.
[Silence.]
You’re complex, I think. Hard to read.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What does that mean?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: For fuck’s sake.
___________________________________
October 3rd, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
11:01
kuroo_tetsurou: Coward
15:57
yaku_morisuke: Chill, asshole. Shit got busy.
16:04
kuroo_tetsurou: He lives!
17:42
kuroo_tetsurou: Or not
18:50
yaku_morisuke: Sorry, today was
yaku_morisuke: a lot
yaku_morisuke: honestly
18:58
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re good
kuroo_tetsurou: Is there anything I can do
18:59
yaku_morisuke: Nah.
yaku_morisuke: Sorry for being MIA.
19:00
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re just gonna have to make it up to me
kuroo_tetsurou: I want FIVE icebreakers tomorrow
kuroo_tetsurou: No excuses
19:00
yaku_morisuke: Lol, you got it.
19:01
kuroo_tetsurou: Omg he lol’d
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou appears, yawning, adjusting the camera position in the main cabin.]
October fourth, twenty fifty-four. I…
[He smiles sadly, rubbing at his face.]
I want to go home.
[He reaches forward.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 4th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
07:03
yaku_morisuke: Are you awake yet?
07:47
kuroo_tetsurou: Now I am
07:50
yaku_morisuke: How did you sleep?
07:50
kuroo_tetsurou: What the fuck
kuroo_tetsurou: Why are you being nice
kuroo_tetsurou: Are they abandoning me up here
07:50
yaku_morisuke: ???
yaku_morisuke: Am I not allowed to be nice?
07:51
kuroo_tetsurou: It’s just unprecedented
07:51
yaku_morisuke: No, they're not abandoning you.
yaku_morisuke: And fuck you.
07:52
kuroo_tetsurou: That’s more like it
kuroo_tetsurou: So uh
kuroo_tetsurou: What is the status of the rescue mission, anyway
07:55
yaku_morisuke: Just asked for an update.
yaku_morisuke: I figured someone would have been in contact with you already.
07:55
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah they were, two days ago I think
kuroo_tetsurou: Just wanted to see if progress is being made
08:02
yaku_morisuke: Looks like they found someone to go up.
08:02
kuroo_tetsurou: Omg who
08:05
yaku_morisuke: Miya-san.
08:05
kuroo_tetsurou: MIYA ATSUMU???
08:05
yaku_morisuke: Is there another Miya?
08:06
kuroo_tetsurou: I mean
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah, he has a twin
08:06
yaku_morisuke: And they’re both astronauts?
08:06
kuroo_tetsurou: No Osamu owns a restaurant
08:06
yaku_morisuke: okay so.
yaku_morisuke: Whatever.
yaku_morisuke: Yes, Miya Atsumu.
08:07
kuroo_tetsurou: Omg
08:07
yaku_morisuke: What?
08:08
kuroo_tetsurou: I thought he was stationed on the ISS
08:08
yaku_morisuke: Oh, no, I guess not.
yaku_morisuke: I saw him this morning.
yaku_morisuke: If he’s on the ISS we have bigger problems than you being stuck in space.
08:08
kuroo_tetsurou: Ouch???
08:08
yaku_morisuke: Well.
yaku_morisuke: You have to admit that mysterious clones would be a huge deal.
08:08
kuroo_tetsurou: I AM ALSO A HUGE DEAL
08:09
yaku_morisuke: I mean if you want a face-eating lizard person coming to get you with no one to back you up, that’s on you.
08:09
kuroo_tetsurou: What the fuck
kuroo_tetsurou: I feel like I missed 90% of this conversation
kuroo_tetsurou: Since when is Miya Atsumu a lizard person
08:09
yaku_morisuke: He’s not.
yaku_morisuke: Unless he’s currently on the ISS.
yaku_morisuke: In which case I would advise that you be ready to attack upon contact.
08:10
kuroo_tetsurou: Fuck
kuroo_tetsurou: You wouldn’t have my back???
08:10
yaku_morisuke: What can I possibly do from here?
08:10
kuroo_tetsurou: STOP THE SHUTTLE
08:10
yaku_morisuke: On what grounds?
08:10
kuroo_tetsurou: LIZARD PEOPLE
08:11
yaku_morisuke: Kuroo, lizard people aren’t real…
08:13
kuroo_tetsurou: You are the worst person I know
08:13
yaku_morisuke: That's not true.
08:13
kuroo_tetsurou: It absolutely is
08:14
yaku_morisuke: You know yourself, though.
08:20
yaku_morisuke: Nothing to say to that?
08:47
yaku_morisuke: Did you die?
08:47
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m giving you a taste of your own medicine
08:47
yaku_morisuke: It’s only been 30 mins.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 4th, 2054 — 12:14
Kuroo Tetsurou: Psst.
I thought you were ignoring me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I am.
[Silence.]
You contacted me, are you aware of that?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, but it’s fine.
Kuroo Tetsurou: This is more important.
Are you okay?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why do you always jump to something being wrong?
You’re stuck in space. Alone.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So I’m not allowed to have normal important thoughts?
No one’s stopping you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why do I feel like that was secretly an insult?
It wasn’t secretive. It was just an insult.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Can you fuck off?
Once again, I feel the need to point out the fact that you contacted me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, anyway.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I thought of a really good icebreaker.
[Laughs.] I thought that was my job.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, well, you suck.
Thanks.
[Silence.]
So? What is it?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I thought you’d never ask!
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m gonna say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind. No cheating.
That seems dangerous.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Only if you’re a serial killer or something.
Why would I be a serial killer?
Kuroo Tetsurou: That sounds like deflection.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you a serial killer, Yakkun?
Clone yourself a few times and we’ll find out together.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I–
[Laughs.] What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: That was clever. Also terrifying. I can’t tell if I’m offended or impressed.
I mean, ideally you’re both.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What the fuck?
[Laughs.] What’s the first word?
Kuroo Tetsurou: What first word?
The first word of the– Didn’t you want to play your fucking icebreaker? Or did I break you?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right, yeah, no. Okay.
Kuroo Tetsurou: The first word is, uh, ‘teapot’.
Teapot?
Kuroo Tetsurou: The first thing you think of!
Um. Tea.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s boring.
Well, give me a better word.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fine, how about ‘space’?
Work.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh my god, don’t tell me you’re boring.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t think I could handle you being a nine-to-five, go-home-and-give-my-wife-a-kiss, eat-dinner-at-five-thirty kind of guy.
I’m gay, I don’t have a wife.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s even worse!
Excuse me?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, not–
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m not homophobic.
[Scoffs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m not! I like men too, I just–
Congratulations.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Can you–
Kuroo Tetsurou: I meant it sucks when gay people are boring, you know? Like, it’s a waste of potential.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m not a bigot.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yakkun.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yakkun, I swear.
I can’t believe I’m agreeing with you, but you’re right. It does suck when gay people are boring.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right? Okay, yeah.
No, it’s like, really? You’re still boring even with all the trauma?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Exactly!
Just give me a deeper word, like one that isn’t directly associated with something in my life.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How am I supposed to know what’s directly associated with something in your life?
I don’t know.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ugh, okay, what about ‘stupid’?
You.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I walked into that one.
You did.
Kuroo Tetsurou: ‘Special’.
Relativity.
Kuroo Tetsurou: ‘Addiction’.
Caffeine.
Kuroo Tetsurou: ‘Music’.
Ooh, emotion.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, see, that was a good one.
Kuroo Tetsurou: ‘Emotion’.
I can’t say music, can I?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No.
Necessary.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Necessary?
Yeah, like, you can’t get anywhere without emotion. It’s necessary.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s a little clinical, isn’t it?
No, being necessary doesn’t mean it’s unwanted. Just like, you’re not human without emotion. You’re not you without emotion. You don’t grow without emotion. It can be great or terrible or whatever, but it’s always necessary. Whether you want it at the moment or not.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Huh.
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Good news is I don’t think you’re boring.
That’s a relief.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Shut it with the sarcasm, yeah?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’ve just never thought about it like that.
Well, now you have.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Who knew getting stuck in space would lead to a philosophical revelation?
I feel like that’s a pretty direct cause and effect.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What do you mean?
Well, you’re stuck out in the cosmos, just floating around with nothing but your thoughts for company. And me, I guess, but only sometimes. I feel like that’s the perfect petri dish for a philosophical revelation. Like, is there a better place in the universe than where you are to just… think?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I guess not.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Not that we know of, at least.
Right.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re a pretty smart guy, Yakkun.
Okay, that’s enough.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m serious.
I know you are, that’s why it needs to stop.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Aw, are you compliment shy?
No.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You sure?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yakkun.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Not this again.
___________________________________
October 4th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
12:56
kuroo_tetsurou: I take it back
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re not smart
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re extremely stupid
kuroo_tetsurou: Can you come back
13:08
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m bored
13:34
yaku_morisuke: Okay I actually meant to come back, but I got pulled into a meeting.
13:37
kuroo_tetsurou: Riiiiiight
13:37
yaku_morisuke: Don’t believe me?
13:38
kuroo_tetsurou: I do
kuroo_tetsurou: But I would appreciate a heads up when you’re just gonna leave for a while
13:41
yaku_morisuke: Yeah, that’s fair.
13:41
kuroo_tetsurou: Like
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m literally stuck with you
kuroo_tetsurou: Despite what I said earlier I don’t care how lame you may or may not be
13:41
yaku_morisuke: Pot, meet kettle.
13:42
kuroo_tetsurou: That’s not how you use that idiom
kuroo_tetsurou: But I appreciate the sentiment
13:42
yaku_morisuke: I have another meeting in like 20 mins, but I’ll be back after that.
13:42
kuroo_tetsurou: Patiently awaiting the chance to break some more ice
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou floating through the main cabin with the camera in hand.]
October fourth again. I wanna show you something.
[He lets go of the camera, floating backwards and grinning as he reaches for an item to his left.]
I figured out how to make a drum!
Obviously it’s nothing special, and the sound isn’t great, but I stretched one of the spare space blankets over this, uh…
[He holds up his makeshift drum, inspecting it.]
I think it’s a bowl? I don’t know why it’s here, to be honest, but it was in a cabinet behind the emergency rations. I figured no one would miss it.
[He starts playing it like a hand drum.]
Not bad, eh?
[He reaches forward.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 4th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
15:12
yaku_morisuke: Hey.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 4th, 2054 — 15:12
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey yourself.
That was fast. Have you no shame?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nope.
That tracks. I actually can’t talk long, though. Got swamped with a ton of work this afternoon but I can respond to messages here and there. I’ll be checking.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Eh, don’t worry about it. I can entertain myself.
Seriously, I just might be a bit in between–
Kuroo Tetsurou: Get your work done. Message me after.
[Silence.]
Alright.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Good luck.
Thank you.
___________________________________
October 4th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
19:45
yaku_morisuke: Finally going home.
yaku_morisuke: Thank fuck.
19:48
kuroo_tetsurou: Oh shit
kuroo_tetsurou: Long day?
19:48
yaku_morisuke: Yeah.
___________________________________
October 5th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
03:11
kuroo_tetsurou: You’ll never guess what I’m thinking about
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 5th, 2054 — 07:32
What the fuck, Kuroo?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I have literally done nothing to you today.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yet.
You messaged me at three a.m.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, that.
Yeah, that. Did you sleep?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yes.
How much?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you my mom?
If you lose it because of sleep deprivation I’m gonna murder you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You have a really fucked up way of showing concern, you know that?
Go to sleep.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right now?
Yes.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Can I at least tell you why I was up at three a.m.?
Later.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You are so mean to me.
This is not new information to anyone involved.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It bears repeating.
Go to sleep!
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck you.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ugh.
___________________________________
October 5th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
15:32
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 5th, 2054 — 15:32
Did you sleep?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yes, dick.
Holy shit.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What?
Uh, nothing.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What happened?
Nothing, you just sound… different.
[Silence.]
Like, I can tell you just woke up.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Because of my voice?
Yeah, it’s– Nevermind. It’s not important.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You sure?
Okay, there’s no need for that smug fucking tone. I didn’t mean it like that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You just meant I sound…?
Like you’re dying, okay? You sound like you just smoked twenty cigarettes. Can we move on?
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Sure.
That doesn’t sound like moving on.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re the one still talking about it.
Because you’re thinking about it!
Kuroo Tetsurou: How do you know?
I’m gonna kill you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And how are you gonna do that from all the way down there?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wait.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That wasn’t about you being short, it– I’m in space.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yakkun?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Did you fucking leave again?
No, I’m here.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey.
Hey.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I wasn't joking about your height.
I know.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Clears throat.] Can I tell you what I was thinking about now?
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: At three a.m.
Oh, sure.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You don’t sound that excited.
Oh, Kuroo-san, please tell me what you were thinking about at three o’clock in the morning. I’ve been waiting all day with bated breath, I simply can’t go on any longer not knowing.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Okay, alright, you don’t have to be that excited.
Can you just tell me?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fine.
Don’t sound so put out, you’re the one who wanted to–
Kuroo Tetsurou: I was thinking about how cool it would be to sword fight in space.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like on the tether. Outside the ship.
I can’t believe they let you be a pilot.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey!
You’d die. The sword would split open your suit and you’d die.
Kuroo Tetsurou: The swords wouldn’t be sharp.
Still!
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay what about, like, foam floaties?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like those tubes kids use in swimming pools so they don’t have to tread water.
You want to whack someone with a pool floaty?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, yeah.
Are you seven?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You can’t tell me that wouldn’t be cool.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Think about it for more than two seconds and tell me it wouldn’t be cool.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: It would be cool!
It would be cool.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Yeah!
So? Are you gonna bring a pool floaty on your next mission?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, I don’t know when I’m going up next after this.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I think it’ll be a while until I’m…
Kuroo Tetsurou: You know.
Yeah.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey, I have a weird request.
Hm?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Can you tell me what you had for lunch?
Kuroo Tetsurou: If you’ve had it already.
[Silence.]
Missing food again?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I haven’t stopped.
[Silence.]
I just had chicken donburi. Nothing special.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Can you describe it?
You’re just torturing yourself.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Indulge me.
[Sighs.] The sauce is from this place down the street. They sell it in bottles and I’m addicted to the stuff. I don’t even know what’s in it, but it tastes like… I don’t know, like teriyaki if it was trying to one-up teriyaki, I guess? It’s really good. You should try it when you get back.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I absolutely will.
The chicken was good, too. Well-cooked. The rice was… ricey.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Ricey?
I don’t really know how to describe rice.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It works.
Okay. I wish I had something more interesting to talk about.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, it’s fine. This was–
Kuroo Tetsurou: Chicken donburi sounds pretty insane right now.
That’s such a sad sentence.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, no need to make this worse.
Sorry.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wanna know what I had for lunch?
What did you have?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Some instant miso soup and a packet of dehydrated fish.
[Silence.]
You are so brave.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Thank you! That’s what I’m saying!
That alone is enough to keep me on the ground.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m glad you’re finally acknowledging how impressive I am.
Okay, well, I never said that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You said brave.
Brave as in stupid.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Those are not synonyms.
Right.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Don’t say ‘right’ like I’m not right!
I didn’t say it any specific way.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re so annoying.
[Laughs.] Hey, I gotta go for a bit. I have some work I’ve been putting off that they kinda need today.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, yeah. Go do your actual job.
I’ll be back later.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’ll be here.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou enters frame and waves.]
October fifth. It’s–
[He looks down at his wrist.]
I don’t know what time it is. I don’t have a watch. I’m in space.
Anyway, I have some good news! Yakkun is really not that bad. Surprise! He’s actually kind of fun to talk to. I know I knew this already, but he’s even more fun to talk to than I thought.
Like, I find myself kind of missing him when he’s busy, and I’m sure it’s just because I haven’t talked to anyone else in, what, a week? Six days? So my sample size is nonexistent, but honestly, I feel like we’re actually getting along.
Which, that’s gonna sound insane to anyone who’s seen our communication logs, because we spend most of the time insulting each other. I don’t know. It just feels really… balanced. That’s probably not the right word, but I can’t think of a better one.
He indulges me, too. Like, a lot. I know he’s getting paid to talk to me, but I feel like he wouldn’t engage as much as he does if he didn’t like talking to me, too. I sure wouldn’t. I think we’re similar in that regard. [Laughs.] I know that’s a crazy thing to say since we’ve only known each other for six days and we only talk over radio and instant messaging, but I swear, I just get the vibe.
[He pauses, his smile fading.]
Weirdly enough, I feel like we’re kind of…
[He shakes his head and reaches out.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 5th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
18:32
yaku_morisuke: Damn, I didn’t realize how late it was.
yaku_morisuke: I’m surprised you’ve been so quiet.
18:36
kuroo_tetsurou: Just thinking about some stuff
kuroo_tetsurou: How’s work
18:37
yaku_morisuke: Same old.
18:37
kuroo_tetsurou: Busy?
18:37
yaku_morisuke: Yeah, do you know Naoi-san? Nekomata-san’s second in command?
18:38
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah
18:38
yaku_morisuke: He’s out on vacation for almost a month, so a bunch of us have had to take on some extra work while he’s gone.
18:38
kuroo_tetsurou: Wtf
kuroo_tetsurou: That doesn’t seem fair
18:39
yaku_morisuke: It’s not, but at least we’re being compensated.
18:39
kuroo_tetsurou: Well
kuroo_tetsurou: I guess you take what you can get
kuroo_tetsurou: Do you have to do overtime
18:39
yaku_morisuke: Nah, not if I get it all done during the day.
18:41
kuroo_tetsurou: Did you
18:42
yaku_morisuke: Almost.
18:42
kuroo_tetsurou: I’ll leave you to it then
kuroo_tetsurou: Night, Yakkun
19:07
yaku_morisuke: Goodnight, Kuroo.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou floating in frame.]
You remember how I said that Yaku isn't that bad? Well, I have some unfortunate news. For me specifically. I’ve been thinking about it, and…
[He takes a deep breath.]
Yaku is really not that bad.
[He pauses for several moments.]
Yeah. I’m gonna let that one simmer for a while.
[He reaches out.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 6th, 2054 — 08:24
Kuroo Tetsurou: CAPCOM.
What, no ‘hello’? No ‘good morning’?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hello, CAPCOM. How are you this lovely morning?
Ew.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.]
That was creepy.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You asked!
I know. I take it back. Never speak again.
[Silence.]
Ha ha.
[Silence.]
Kuroo.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck, I’m weak.
You broke that fast?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Give me another shot.
No, you lost it. You broke after three seconds.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It was, like, ten.
That isn’t better.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s a little better.
[Laughs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, anyway.
Actually– Oh, sorry.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Tsk. You should be.
You go.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, go ahead. I didn’t have anything to say.
I just wanted to– I mean, I know I brought, like, a lame lunch yesterday. I didn’t expect to be giving food reviews.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why are you apologizing?
I’m not apologizing, idiot. I just…
[Silence.]
I made curry last night, from scratch. It’s beef and tomato-based, with, like, onions and carrots and potatoes and shit. And apples. My mom always put apples in her curry, so I do it too. Brings out the sweetness, you know?
[Silence.]
Anyway, it’s really good. It’s thick but not too creamy, and the beef and tomato paste are complimented really well by the spices I use — there’s sugar and soy sauce, obviously, and curry powder and garam masala, but I also add ginger and garlic for a little extra oomph. It’s pretty easy to make, but it’s probably the dish I make the best, and talking about my lame chicken donburi yesterday got me thinking about, like, stuff I could make that’d be a little more interesting. So.
[Silence.]
I guess I just ran with it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yakkun.
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: This… [Laughs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: This might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me, honestly.
What, telling you about food you can’t even eat?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Sure.
It really isn’t a big deal.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t think you get to decide that for me.
Okay, shut the fuck up. I can hear the smile in your stupid voice. It’s just curry.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck, now I wanna try it.
Sucks.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You should make it for me.
What am I, your chef?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Come on!
[Silence.]
Yeah, okay.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Seriously?
Sure.
[Silence.]
Man, I wish I could send a photo. I feel like I’m not doing it justice.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] That might just kill me, Yakkun.
Good. I’d finally get some work done with no distractions.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Mhm.
What do you mean, ‘mhm’?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nothing.
I can still hear you smiling.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey, all this talk of food is making me hungry. I’m gonna go eat something.
More dehydrated fish?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Probably.
Delicious.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Talk to you later, CAPCOM.
Mhm.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou is floating in front of the camera, a happy, bewildered expression on his face.]
[He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up completely and exhaling slowly as he does so, letting out a soft laugh under his breath.]
[He opens his mouth as if to say something.]
I–
[After a moment of hesitation, he clamps his jaw shut again into a grin.]
[He floats for a moment, smiling, then exhales again and reaches forward.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 6th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
13:14
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m bored
13:15
yaku_morisuke: I’m copy-pasting things from one spreadsheet into another, nearly identical spreadsheet.
13:15
kuroo_tetsurou: Sounds fascinating
13:15
yaku_morisuke: I wish I was dead.
13:16
kuroo_tetsurou: Can you talk while you do that
13:18
yaku_morisuke: Kinda, but probably not on radio.
13:18
kuroo_tetsurou: Because I’m too distracting right
13:18
yaku_morisuke: I know you’re trying to be an ass, but yeah. You are.
13:19
kuroo_tetsurou: Like in a good way or a bad way
13:19
yaku_morisuke: A bad good way.
13:19
kuroo_tetsurou: ???
13:20
yaku_morisuke: Fuck dude, they’re doing construction on the cafe across the street and it’s so fucking loud.
13:20
kuroo_tetsurou: What
kuroo_tetsurou: The place with the 800 year long menu??
kuroo_tetsurou: Since when
13:20
yaku_morisuke: A couple days ago.
13:22
kuroo_tetsurou: That’s lame
kuroo_tetsurou: I hope it’s done soon
13:25
yaku_morisuke: Why, you actually like that place?
13:26
kuroo_tetsurou: I mean no
kuroo_tetsurou: But it’s kinda fun to try their wacko latte flavors
13:41
yaku_morisuke: I’ve never had one
13:43
kuroo_tetsurou: Really omg
kuroo_tetsurou: You have to try the unicorn
13:48
yaku_morisuke: What the fuck is a unicorn?
13:49
kuroo_tetsurou: A magical horse with a horn
kuroo_tetsurou: Do you live under a rock
13:49
yaku_morisuke: fuck you.
13:49
kuroo_tetsurou: It’s like
kuroo_tetsurou: White chocolate, vanilla chai powder, and raspberry syrup I think
kuroo_tetsurou: With marshmallows and rainbow sprinkles
13:54
yaku_morisuke: That sounds like it would give me a heart attack.
13:57
kuroo_tetsurou: It won’t
kuroo_tetsurou: Promise
13:59
yaku_morisuke: I don’t believe you.
14:00
kuroo_tetsurou: I’ll get one too then
14:02
yaku_morisuke: How will I know you didn’t fake it?
14:03
kuroo_tetsurou: You’ll just have to come with me
kuroo_tetsurou: I’ll even pay for yours as long as you drink it
14:03
yaku_morisuke: Well in that case…
14:03
kuroo_tetsurou: Is that a yes, Yakkun
14:08
yaku_morisuke: How can I say no to free coffee?
14:11
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re just using me for free shit </3
14:12
yaku_morisuke: You caught me.
14:13
kuroo_tetsurou: Boooooo
kuroo_tetsurou: You should be using me for stellar company
14:17
yaku_morisuke: I can do both.
14:19
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m rolling my eyes at you right now
kuroo_tetsurou: Just so you know
14:20
yaku_morisuke: I could feel it from here.
14:21
kuroo_tetsurou: You didn’t even laugh at my pun
14:23
yaku_morisuke: What pun?
14:23
kuroo_tetsurou: STELLAR!!!
kuroo_tetsurou: Like stars
kuroo_tetsurou: Get it
14:24
yaku_morisuke: I get it.
14:24
kuroo_tetsurou: Because we work at JAXA
14:24
yaku_morisuke: I get it, Kuroo.
14:24
kuroo_tetsurou: And I’m in space
kuroo_tetsurou: Wait
kuroo_tetsurou: Do I count as a celestial object right now
14:32
yaku_morisuke: Aw, you’re not an object.
yaku_morisuke: You’re a strong, independent idiot.
14:33
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m gonna poison your unicorn
14:48
yaku_morisuke: That sounds like a bad euphemism for something.
14:51
kuroo_tetsurou: For WHAT
14:55
yaku_morisuke: Idk, you tell me.
14:57
kuroo_tetsurou: Get your mind out of the gutter
14:58
yaku_morisuke: Stop threatening to poison my unicorn.
15:04
kuroo_tetsurou: Okay you’re right
kuroo_tetsurou: It definitely sounds questionable
15:05
yaku_morisuke: Thank you.
15:05
kuroo_tetsurou: You text like a senior citizen
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 6th, 2054 — 16:12
What the fuck?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I thought you said you couldn’t talk!
You told me I text like a fucking senior citizen.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You do.
Yeah, so I radioed instead.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Don’t you have work?
You’re work.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wow, thanks.
[Laughs.] I didn’t mean it like that. Like, I can pass this off as work.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So you’re saying I’m more fun than copy-pasting data from spreadsheet to spreadsheet?
Obviously.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Aww.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: This is when you’re supposed to tell me to shut the fuck up.
Why?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Because I made you admit that you like talking to me.
If you think you’re capable of ‘making’ me do anything, you’re deranged.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] That sounds like a challenge.
It’s not.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It could be.
It could be, but it’s not.
Kuroo Tetsurou: We’ll see.
What is that supposed to mean?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nothing!
Should I be concerned?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nah.
[Silence.]
I feel like I should, but whatever. Good luck.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Now that has to be a challenge.
I wasn’t just gonna sit here and let you embarrass yourself.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, first of all, you totally would just sit there and let me embarrass myself–
True.
Kuroo Tetsurou: –and second of all, I didn’t embarrass myself.
You challenged yourself to an impossible task.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Says you.
I can’t be swayed.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Says you!
Yeah, says me, the expert on me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] What if your perception is skewed?
What if the sky is purple?
Kuroo Tetsurou: The sky isn’t really any color.
My question stands.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well–
Kuroo Tetsurou: I mean yeah, but–
[Laughs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck you, okay?
Mhm.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Whatever. You’ll see.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’ll get you to do something you don’t want to do one of these days.
That’s not the same as making me do something.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What’s the difference?
Making me do something implies being the actual catalyst for my doing it, not just convincing me to do it on my own.
Kuroo Tetsurou: This is getting into suspicious territory.
Now whose mind is in the gutter?
Kuroo Tetsurou: This is being recorded, Yakkun!
I didn’t say anything.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Stop fucking laughing!
I’m not!
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ugh. Whatever.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Anyway, I’ve had to pee for this entire conversation, so I’m gonna–
Why did you answer if you had to pee?
[Silence.]
Go pee, dumbass!
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’ll be back.
I should do the rest of my work anyway.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Later, CAPCOM.
Idiot.
___________________________________
October 6th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
18:58
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey
19:16
yaku_morisuke: That was the longest pee anyone has ever taken.
yaku_morisuke: Did you get lost?
20:51
kuroo_tetsurou: Fuck, just saw these
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah I got lost
20:57
kuroo_tetsurou: Actually nvm
___________________________________
October 7th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
07:02
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey, CAPCOM
kuroo_tetsurou: When do you even start work
kuroo_tetsurou: Like when do you clock in
07:03
yaku_morisuke: Technically 7, but I’m not functional until 7:30 most days.
07:03
kuroo_tetsurou: Haha okay I’ll come back then
07:03
yaku_morisuke: No, it's fine.
07:05
kuroo_tetsurou: Why did you just type for 2 mins and then stop
07:08
yaku_morisuke: Decided against speaking.
07:08
kuroo_tetsurou: Interesting
kuroo_tetsurou: Are you pissed or just undercaffeinated
07:09
yaku_morisuke: Sorry.
yaku_morisuke: Neither.
yaku_morisuke: Just thinking.
07:09
kuroo_tetsurou: Ah, that must be hard for you
07:09
yaku_morisuke: Shut the fuck up, you literally called me smart a few days ago.
07:10
kuroo_tetsurou: You can be smart and stupid at the same time
07:10
yaku_morisuke: ???
07:10
kuroo_tetsurou: Like a finance bro
kuroo_tetsurou: Or a cat
07:11
yaku_morisuke: What the fuck?
07:11
kuroo_tetsurou: What
07:11
yaku_morisuke: Did you just call me a finance bro??
07:11
kuroo_tetsurou: Glossing over the cat thing I see
07:12
yaku_morisuke: I don’t care about the cat thing, I’m offended by the first one.
07:12
kuroo_tetsurou: Omg are you a cat guy Yakkun
07:13
yaku_morisuke: Finance bro.
yaku_morisuke: That was foul.
07:13
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re not a finance bro don’t worry
kuroo_tetsurou: I was joking
kuroo_tetsurou: Obviously
07:13
yaku_morisuke: Right.
07:14
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re so much more dramatic than you let on
kuroo_tetsurou: You know I thought you had such a huge stick up your ass at first
07:14
yaku_morisuke: ???
07:14
kuroo_tetsurou: But it turns out you’re just a drama queen
07:15
yaku_morisuke: That feels homophobic.
07:15
kuroo_tetsurou: I LIKE MEN
07:15
yaku_morisuke: You can still be homophobic.
yaku_morisuke: I’m getting deja vu.
07:16
kuroo_tetsurou: That’s because we’ve already had this exact same conversation
07:17
yaku_morisuke: Then maybe you should stop putting your foot in your mouth.
07:17
kuroo_tetsurou: Impossible
kuroo_tetsurou: That’s my whole thing
07:18
yaku_morisuke: It definitely seems that way.
07:19
kuroo_tetsurou: Rude
07:24
yaku_morisuke: You said it first.
07:25
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re not supposed to confirm!!!
07:25
yaku_morisuke: Why, to spare your feelings?
07:25
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m just gonna call you a finance bro again
07:26
yaku_morisuke: Don’t you dare.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 7th, 2054 — 07:27
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey.
Hey.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What are you up to?
Drinking coffee and staring at the wall.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nice.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How do you take your coffee?
Sweet.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No way.
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Really?
What, you don’t believe me?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You seemed so disgusted by the unicorn that I figured…
Okay, but the unicorn is too much. That’s, like, twelve different flavor profiles in one drink.
Kuroo Tetsurou: There are six ingredients.
And how many different combinations is that?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, in total?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re asking how many combinations of flavors can be made from six ingredients?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Uh.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Sixty-four.
Damn.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, but I guess you’d never make one without the coffee, so it’s actually five ingredients.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Which would be… thirty-two.
Thirty-two drinks combined into one monstrosity.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Yeah, I guess so.
Is that actually right?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you doubting me?
I mean, no. I just didn’t realize you could do mental math like that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m a fucking engineer, you dick!
No, yeah, it’s not weird now that I think about it, I guess I just never thought about it, you know?
Kuroo Tetsurou: What, the fact that I’d have to be smart to be an astronaut?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So mean.
Yeah, well.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Sighs.] I don’t deserve this slander.
It wasn’t slander! I was just– whatever. I don’t think you’re actually stupid.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What a relief.
You are so–
Kuroo Tetsurou: What?
Infuriating.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I can hear you trying not to laugh.
No you fucking can’t.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay.
You can’t!
Kuroo Tetsurou: I said okay!
[Snorts.]
[Silence.]
That wasn’t a laugh.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I actually have no idea what to say right now.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, what am I supposed to say?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re right, Yakkun. That was a snort, not a laugh.
[Laughs.] Shut the fuck up.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you gonna try to deny that one too?
You’re an asshole. I’ll be right back.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You are a caricature.
Be right back!
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 7th, 2054 — 08:19
You still there?
___________________________________
October 7th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
12:24
kuroo_tetsurou: Shit sorry
kuroo_tetsurou: I took an accidental nap
13:28
yaku_morisuke: For four hours?
13:51
kuroo_tetsurou: That’s not that bad
13:54
yaku_morisuke: It’s not a nap.
13:54
kuroo_tetsurou: Well it’s not a sleep
kuroo_tetsurou: And you were gone for a while too
13:55
yaku_morisuke: I was out to lunch.
13:56
kuroo_tetsurou: Well are you back now
13:56
yaku_morisuke: Yeah, but I have a meeting in 4 minutes.
13:57
kuroo_tetsurou: Damn okay
kuroo_tetsurou: Have fun
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 7th, 2054 — 15:06
Hey, I’m back.
[Silence.]
Alright, well.
___________________________________
October 7th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
15:08
yaku_morisuke: Meeting’s over.
yaku_morisuke: I’m here whenever.
16:37
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey
kuroo_tetsurou: I was trying to write a song
16:51
yaku_morisuke: You write music?
17:02
kuroo_tetsurou: No
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m just fucking around
kuroo_tetsurou: Killing time, you know
17:04
yaku_morisuke: Ah.
17:04
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m also terrible with lyrics, as it turns out
kuroo_tetsurou: And instrumentals
kuroo_tetsurou: Considering the fact that I don’t have any real instruments up here
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 7th, 2054 — 17:05
Can you even bring instruments to space?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Honestly, I don’t know, I’ve never tried.
It’s not like they wouldn’t work, right?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I assume it would be an oxygen issue.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You wouldn’t want to use it up that quickly.
Right.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And size is also a factor.
You’re just dashing my dreams of a space band.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I mean, if you sent a shuttle up with the exclusive purpose of being a space band, you could definitely do it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s just unrealistic for a normal mission.
I hate it when you’re right about stupid shit.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Stupid shit is my specialty, Yakkun.
You can say that again.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck off.
Gladly.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That doesn’t work anymore.
What? Talking about how annoying I find you?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Pretending you don’t wanna talk to me.
I never said I didn’t.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You just said ‘gladly’.
Yeah, I would be glad to stop talking to you. I’m also glad to be talking to you. I’m just a glad guy.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] A glad guy?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Is that–
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nevermind.
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nothing.
What is it?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I was gonna–
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Because glad is kind of a synonym for happy, right?
Kuroo Tetsurou: And you’re…
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Gay.
I think scientists should study you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Should– what?
I honestly think you need to be in a lab.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why?
It’s statistically so improbable for someone to be this bad at– [Laughs.] I don’t even know what you’re bad at. Being a human being.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oi! [Laughs.] I am not bad at being a human being.
You are.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What does that even mean?
You have no social instinct. The things that come out of your mouth are actually absurd.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you upset?
No, I’m– I don’t know. I hesitate to say ‘endeared’ because you’re just gonna run with it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Damn, you find me endearing?
Fascinating, maybe.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Buy me a drink first, Yakkun.
Riveting.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, now you’re just flattering me.
Like when you kind of get attached to the weird squirrel who hangs out in your backyard all the time.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Gasps.] A fucking squirrel?
Or a stray cat.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, I’ll take it.
We had a stray in our neighborhood when I was a kid.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah?
She was a tortoiseshell. Most insane motherfucker you’ve ever met. I was obsessed with her.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That tracks.
I wanted to adopt her, but my brother is allergic, so I would just hang out with her outside sometimes and leave food and water out when my parents weren’t looking.
Kuroo Tetsurou: They never noticed?
Oh, I’m sure they did.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s kind of sweet, actually.
Did you have any pets as a kid?
Kuroo Tetsurou: When I was really little, yeah. We had a dog.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t remember her much, but– [Laughs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: She hated me.
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: According to my dad, anyway. She’d, like, growl at my crib when I was a baby, and then when I got old enough to walk she’d follow me around the house all low to the ground.
Kuroo Tetsurou: She never tried to hurt me or anything, though.
That’s crazy. Did she ever get over it?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, she didn’t get the chance. [Laughs.] My mom got her in the divorce and I never saw her again.
Oh. I’m sorry.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, no, it’s fine. We’re not doing pity.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Honestly, good riddance. The dog was kinda ugly.
[Laughs.] Damn, brutal.
Kuroo Tetsurou: She hated me!
I know!
Kuroo Tetsurou: But, yeah, we didn’t have any pets after that. I don’t think my dad wanted to deal with taking care of one.
That’s fair.
Kuroo Tetsurou: My sister and I were enough of a hassle.
You have a sister?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah.
Older or younger?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Guess.
She has to be older.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Why do you say that?
Originally I thought you were giving only child vibes, but I think I was really getting that shithead younger brother energy and misjudged.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wow, rude.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Also, seriously? You thought I was an only child?
Listen, there are two types of younger brothers — the kind that grow up with a great sense of respect for their elders, and the kind that got away with everything as a kid. The second is hard to differentiate from only child insolence.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I–
Kuroo Tetsurou: You seem very passionate about this.
Trust me. I have one of each.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you the oldest, then?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That honestly makes sense for you.
Does it?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, you definitely…
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t know, I feel like you can tell when someone is an oldest sibling by the way they handle being fucked with.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’ve mastered the skill of being annoyed and annoying simultaneously.
[Laughs.] What does that have to do with being the oldest?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I just think younger siblings are more reactive, you know?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, younger siblings can always play the baby card. They can pull the whole ‘I’m telling dad’ thing and actually mean it, because parents expect the older one to be more responsible.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Older siblings just had to learn to deal with it and fight back on their own.
That’s oddly perceptive.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Thank you, I’m very self-aware.
Also very humble.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Obviously.
Obviously.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, I hate to cut this short but I’ve been dehydrated for, like, twenty minutes, and I don’t have any water packets near the radio.
Why didn’t you go get one?
Kuroo Tetsurou: We were talking!
Well, go!
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m going, I’m going.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 7th, 2054 — 17:32
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, hi.
Hi.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, you’re still here.
Why wouldn’t I be?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t know, meetings?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You seem to have a lot of those.
Well, yeah, we’re really busy right now.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No need to get defensive, it was an observation, not an accusation.
Alright.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What, that easy?
What do you mean?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re not gonna tell me it sure sounded like an accusation?
It didn’t though. You already told me it wasn’t. Why wouldn’t I believe you?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t know.
Would you believe you if the roles were reversed?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah.
Then what’s the problem?
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s the opposite of a problem, Yakkun.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re really straightforward, you know that?
I’ve been told.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, it’s a good thing.
I agree.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] You’re also very honest.
Aren’t those the same thing?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Not really.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Straightforward is, like, saying what you want to say very plainly without beating around the bush. Making sure you’re clear. Not holding back.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Honest is being forthcoming with what you’re really thinking without sugar-coating or altering it to appease the other party. Or the opposite, I guess. You can be honest without being straightforward and vice versa.
But I’m both, huh?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Seems that way to me.
How do you know I’m not lying to you?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you?
No. But I would say that if I was lying, too.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nah, you’re not. I can tell.
How?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m good at reading people. Good instincts.
And what do your instincts tell you about me?
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Wouldn’t you like to know?
I would.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Aside from being straightforward and honest?
Yeah.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t know if I’m as honest as you are.
That sounds ominous. And not ideal.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, like, I’m not a liar. I wouldn’t tell you something that isn’t true. Ever.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I just–
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ask me again in a few days. Let me work through my thoughts a bit.
[Silence.]
Okay.
___________________________________
October 7th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
19:12
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re not still at work are you
19:18
yaku_morisuke: I am, actually.
19:19
kuroo_tetsurou: Wtf
19:19
yaku_morisuke: It’s the excess work I told you about.
yaku_morisuke: I’m almost done, though.
19:19
kuroo_tetsurou: I thought you didn’t have to work overtime for that
19:21
yaku_morisuke: I don’t, technically.
yaku_morisuke: I just spent too much of today fucking around.
19:21
kuroo_tetsurou: Doing what???
19:27
yaku_morisuke: Talking to you.
19:30
kuroo_tetsurou: Ah
kuroo_tetsurou: Sorry
19:30
yaku_morisuke: No, don’t apologize.
yaku_morisuke: I knew what I was doing.
19:34
kuroo_tetsurou: Okay
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou adjusts the camera position.]
Hey, so, I’m in trouble. [Laughs.] Fuck, I don’t know if I should be saying this to my fucking work video diary. I know no one ever watches these, but what if they do?
[He pauses.]
Honestly, yeah. I shouldn’t do this.
I just feel like I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t tell someone, though, so I don’t know if I have any other options. Somehow, talking to myself seems less depressing when I feel like I’m addressing someone. Or something. The camera. Whatever.
I–
[He runs a hand through his hair.]
In the most vague terms possible, I’m in a… personal predicament, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if there is anything to do about it. I’m up here and he’s my only source of human interaction right now, so it’s not like I could get any space from it, even if I wanted to. I’m just… conflicted.
Like, it’s kind of iffy when it comes to–
I mean, I don’t even know if I’m allowed to have this predicament, you know?
[He pauses again.]
Yeah. I should stop here. I’d rather lose my mind than deal with whatever might happen if I elaborate.
[He reaches forward.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 8th, 2054 — 07:01
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yakkun.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you not in yet?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Booooo.
___________________________________
October 8th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
07:37
yaku_morisuke: Morning, Kuroo.
07:45
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey, CAPCOM
kuroo_tetsurou: Late start?
07:46
yaku_morisuke: Yeah, kind of.
yaku_morisuke: There’s maintenance being done on the trains, I guess, so it took longer than usual to get to work.
07:46
kuroo_tetsurou: Yikes
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey you know what I was thinking about this morning
07:46
yaku_morisuke: What?
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 8th, 2054 — 07:46
Kuroo Tetsurou: Consumerism.
Right, because what else would you be thinking about at seven a.m.?
Kuroo Tetsurou: This was actually like an hour and a half ago.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I was just waiting for you to come in to talk about it.
Okay, well, what about it?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I think the bread aisle at the store is a perfect allegory for consumerism as a whole.
Bread.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah.
I think I need coffee before we get into this.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] That’s fair, I can wait.
Be back in a bit.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 8th, 2054 — 08:12
Hello.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey, CAPCOM.
Tell me about this bread thing.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, so you know how consumerism is supposed to be all about making the things that people already want to buy?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And the whole theory is that if you only make things people want, the economy will do better for it, but it’s turned into this gross misapplication that hurts people more than it caters to their actual wants.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So I was thinking about, like, what that even looks like, and then it hit me.
Bread.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Bread.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You walk into the bread aisle at the store and there are, what, twenty different types of sweet bread? And another twenty types of bread that pretends it isn’t sweet bread and another twenty types of bread that was baked in a fun way and sells for twice the price as normal bread, but they’re all twenty different variations of the same fucking thing.
Right.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And, the worst part is they have all these different labels, but they’re all actually made by the same four companies.
That’s true.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You think you have a choice in the matter, but you don’t.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You think you have the ability to buy whatever you want because, wow, there are so many options, but the reality is that you’ve been trained by the media and by bread propaganda to want the things they want to sell you.
[Laughs.] Bread propaganda?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, like, what if I wanted a really hearty wheat bread? Or a fresh piece of real garlic bread?
They have garlic bread.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, they have shit fake garlic bread that’s just a baguette with garlic butter paste. I’m talking about the real thing.
Kuroo Tetsurou: But we’re not supposed to want that because it’s not what’s being sold to us, which creates this vicious cycle of, like, bread companies making what they tell us we want because it’s cheap and efficient and painting it like it’s what we wanted in the first place.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You know what I mean?
[Silence.]
Actually, yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: See! It’s perfect!
No, you’re actually onto something. Why are you onto something?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right?
Why is bread the perfect case study of consumerism?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Because bread and grains are staple foods in almost all cuisines, so the existence of consumerism hits the bread industry particularly hard and in ways that are easy to recognize.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, applying consumerism to something that’s so necessary creates a very obvious result.
I was being rhetorical, but yeah, I guess.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I feel like I should start making my own bread.
Do you know how?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m sure I could learn.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wanna be my test subject?
Like, try your home-baked bread to make sure it’s not lethal?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah.
What the hell, sure.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Really?
Yeah, why not?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You are so much more agreeable than you were a week ago.
I’m always agreeable.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] That’s a lie.
I’m serious! I agreed to be your sanity buddy, didn’t I?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, and you threatened to kill me more than once.
That doesn’t sound like me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: This is gaslighting.
It is not! [Laughs.] Maybe you just grew on me.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, I wasn’t gonna say it.
Why not?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I thought you would deny it, honestly.
I’m in shock, not denial.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck, you’re gonna kill me with this whole honesty thing.
[Laughs.] Maybe that was the plan all along.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck you! [Laughs.]
Guess we’ll never know.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Whatever, asshole.
Mhm.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou appears in frame smiling a wide, manic smile.]
[He screams.]
[He reaches forward.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 8th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
10:41
yaku_morisuke: Ugh.
10:56
kuroo_tetsurou: What?
11:28
yaku_morisuke: Back to back meetings.
11:34
kuroo_tetsurou: Oof
kuroo_tetsurou: That sucks
12:01
yaku_morisuke: Yeah.
yaku_morisuke: Finally on lunch, but then more fucking meetings.
12:03
kuroo_tetsurou: What do you even have meetings about
12:47
yaku_morisuke: They’re updating all our computers and shit. New phone system too.
12:52
kuroo_tetsurou: Fancy
12:54
yaku_morisuke: I’ve been in security training for the new authentication process all morning and now we have a class on the new operating system for five fucking hours.
12:55
kuroo_tetsurou: What is it
kuroo_tetsurou: Do you guys use Windows
kuroo_tetsurou: My pc just updated to Windows 55 and it’s disgusting
12:55
yaku_morisuke: No, ours is a proprietary thing.
yaku_morisuke: JAXA specific, I think they develop it in-house.
yaku_morisuke: But, yeah, I feel you.
yaku_morisuke: I turned off auto updates on my laptop so I’m still on 53 I think.
12:56
kuroo_tetsurou: Honestly smart
12:57
yaku_morisuke: Ugh okay.
yaku_morisuke: I should go find the lecture hall this thing is in.
12:57
kuroo_tetsurou: Have fun!!!
12:57
yaku_morisuke: I will not.
___________________________________
October 8th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
15:32
yaku_morisuke: Kill me.
15:34
kuroo_tetsurou: You still in class?
kuroo_tetsurou: How’s it going
15:34
yaku_morisuke: Kill me.
15:34
kuroo_tetsurou: No <3
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 8th, 2054 — 18:25
You there?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fucking hell, that scared the shit out of me.
[Laughs.] Sorry.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Warn a guy, would you?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, I’m here.
Hey.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey.
I’m out of that stupid class.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well I figured you weren’t radioing me in front of the instructor.
Alright, bye.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] No, come back.
You’re such a jerk sometimes.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, but like, a fun one, right?
Kuroo Tetsurou: A fun jerk.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like the kind you feel when a rollercoaster starts to move.
A what?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You know, when it jerks you forward and the bar digs into your stomach but you’re like wow, I’m on a rollercoaster, this is so fun.
I’m usually trying not to pass out.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wow, are you a wimp?
What the fuck?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Answer the question, Yakkun. Are you a scaredy-cat?
I just didn’t ride a lot of roller coasters growing up.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I see.
Don’t say it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wasn’t gonna.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So, did you learn a lot about operating systems?
[Sighs.] I learned a lot about ours, I guess. It’s really different.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How well do you have to know it?
I mean, pretty well. I’m about to work with it every day. It’s logistically the same as the old one, but they’re trying to streamline the user interface and make it easier to navigate.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That sounds like a good thing.
It is, but it’s a big change, you know? Hard to adapt to. We’ve been working with the old one for years, so we’re all used to it. Except Lev.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Who’s Lev?
The new CAPCOM officer. He was the one to pick up your distress signal, actually.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right.
Kuroo Tetsurou: He seems…
He’s a pain in the ass.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] What? Why?
He just needs so much–
[Silence.]
Guidance.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ah.
Every time he has to comm with anyone on an active mission, he’ll sit there just, like, vibrating for a good twenty seconds before he makes contact, and then after the conversation he fucking sprints over to my station for praise.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I didn’t know you were capable of praise.
I’m not! I lay into him every time, but he keeps coming back.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Can he hear you right now?
No. He had to come in early so he’s gone for the day.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Lucky.
I would say this to his face.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No you wouldn’t.
I would.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re not that cruel.
It’s not cruel, it’s a life lesson. He needs to learn to be self-sufficient.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How new is he?
Like, two months.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What the fuck?
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: He’s only been doing this for two months!
So? He had to go through training. And school. He’s educated, supposedly, though I’m not convinced.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Fuck, Yakkun.
What? [Laughs.] I’m serious! Grow up! You work at fucking JAXA!
Kuroo Tetsurou: He can’t be that bad if he got the job.
I think there was witchcraft involved. The one thing I will give him is that he really knows how to connect with people, so I feel like he just talked the hiring team into liking him.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And if he was capable of witchcraft, why wouldn’t he have done the same to you?
I’m immune.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Man, you really hate this guy.
[Sighs.] No, I don’t. He’s good at his job in theory, he just takes no initiative. Like, if he actually sat down and learned the protocols, he’d be a natural. The problem is that he knows he’s a good communicator, so he thinks that’s all he needs to succeed, and never bothers to question his way of doing things.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Which is annoying for you, his begrudging mentor, obviously.
Obviously.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Have you talked to him about it?
First of all, it shouldn’t be my responsibility, but second of all, yes. I have.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Then you might just have to wait for him to figure it out.
Lame. Everyone should just be smart and capable all the time. The world would be a better place.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Less interesting, though.
I disagree. If everyone was smart and capable, then we’d know more about everything and there would be more to learn at all times from everyone you meet, right? It would be interesting as hell. Imagine just, like, chatting about Andromeda with the guy in the chair next to you at the barber.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Do you chat with the guy in the chair next to you at the barber?
No, but I would if he cared about Andromeda.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] I don’t know, I think a little stupidity is healthy.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, sometimes I want to talk to the guy at the Konbini about how chocolate is a government ruse to conceal a major mind control operation.
[Laughs.] What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Honestly, he had some interesting points.
Okay, but that guy doesn’t work at a chocolate shop. If you’re gonna work at JAXA, you need to be able to follow protocol and be willing to listen to the people who have been here longer than you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s true.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, I’ll compromise. Everyone has to be smart and capable about and with regard to the thing they do for a living — and maybe, like, politics and the environment — but they’re allowed to be stupid about whatever else they want.
Deal.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Boom. World peace achieved.
How has no one figured this out before?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No idea. We must be exceptionally smart and capable.
[Laughs.] Clearly.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Speaking of, do you have any, like, unexpected or niche areas of interest?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Things you know a lot about that have nothing to do with anything you do regularly.
I mean, yeah, doesn’t everyone?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m asking what they are, Yakkun. Context clues.
Fuck you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey CAPCOM, a question for you: what are your unexpected or niche areas of interest?
[Sighs.] Nutrition, I guess. Clean foods and gut health.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Really?
Yeah, why?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t know, I was expecting, like, a specific era of fossils or something.
Why? [Laughs.] What on Earth gave you that idea?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well I’m–
Don’t say you’re not on Earth. Don’t do it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Fine.
No, I don’t know much about fossils. I went to this museum once that had an infographic about fossils, though, called ‘How to become a fossil’. You’ll never guess what step one was.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What was step one?
Die.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] No way. This was in a museum?
In the kids’ section, too. I took my brother.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s insane!
It is. I’ve never gotten over that. I don’t remember a damn thing about that trip except for that one infographic.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, so no fossils.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re a nutrition head?
I am.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What does that entail?
What do you mean, like what interests me?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I guess, yeah, or give me some fun facts.
Did you know that an avocado has more than twice as much potassium as a banana?
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Wow, right out the gate.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You had that one queued up and ready to go, huh?
It’s my conversation starter for when I’m caught in an awkward silence.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah? What kinds of conversations does it start?
Usually ones that end up pissing me off.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I think you need a new conversation starter.
Okay, did you know that lemons and eggs are considered two of the healthiest foods on the planet?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I didn’t.
A single lemon contains your entire daily dose of Vitamin C, cleanses the liver, and boosts your immunity. Literally just squeezing lemon into your room temperature water is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And eggs?
Eggs have the highest quality food protein that we know of, and since all parts of the egg are edible, it’s really efficient.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Even the shell?
Hell yeah, it’s really high in calcium.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s fucked.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What do you mean you’re supposed to eat the egg shell?
It’s not like a necessity, it’s just something you can do. Most people don’t like the texture, though.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, no kidding.
Honestly, nutrition is mostly about the microbiome in your gut. Paying attention to what you take in, how much, and not overdoing it on anything in particular. Probiotics are really good, too, if your diet is lacking.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh, I’ve always wondered about this — when you’re taking antibiotics, can you take probiotics at the same time to balance it out? Or do they make the antibiotics less efficient?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I feel like they would just get blocked by the antibiotics, no? And maybe get in the way of them fighting off the bad shit?
No, they actually make antibiotics more effective. I asked my doctor about this once. I assume it’s because the antibiotic will still attack the bad shit, and then because you’re supplementing with good shit, the bad shit doesn’t come back as quickly. That way the next time you take the antibiotic there’s less for it to kill.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fascinating.
It really is.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How’d you get into that?
Oh, you know. General interest. It started when I was playing volleyball, I guess, because my coach was super into preservation and long term results, but then I went to college and started feeling like shit, and figured out that it was because of what I was eating.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh yeah, everyone eats like shit in college.
Exactly. So then I started paying attention, opting for healthier stuff for the most part, but still allowing myself some leeway. Eating healthy isn’t about cutting out everything fun, it’s about balance. That was what really brought it home for me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What, still being able to cheat?
It’s not cheating. That’s a dieting thing.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right.
But, yeah, honestly, the fact that I could feel better while still eating most of my favorite foods was a huge selling point. I got really into the science of it all.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Makes sense.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Any tips for a beginner? Other than lemons and eggs.
Nah, everybody’s different. Just try some things and see what makes your body feel the best.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Noted.
What about you?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t think I eat like shit, but I’m definitely not smart about my diet, no.
I mean niche interests.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Oh.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I mean music, I guess, but you knew that already.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Does biology count?
No, that’s too broad.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What about philosophy?
You’re into philosophy?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Not really? But yes, kind of.
[Laughs.] What does that mean?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, I really like thinking about life and purpose and analyzing different people’s worldviews, but I fucking hate the whole concept of being a philosopher.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Every time I read anything from one of the ‘greats’, I just want to tell them to get over themselves.
Yeah, I get that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Even if I agree with a lot of what they’re saying, or even if I don’t but I still find it interesting, the culture in the world of philosophy begets this style of writing and presenting information that feels so self-satisfied.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I think that’s just the nature of the profession, though.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, a ton of people are thinking about this stuff day in and day out, but the only ones who call themselves philosophers are the ones with a hard-on for their own ideas.
[Silence.]
That’s certainly one way to put it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s true, though!
No, I believe you. [Laughs.] It’s kind of a perfect description. Just caught me off-guard.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, yeah, then that’s my niche interest. We have a love-hate relationship.
Sounds like it. I wonder if–
[Silence.]
Hold on.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay.
[Silence.]
Shit, Inuoka is here.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Who’s that?
The fucking night shift, remember? We share a desk.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What? Why is he–
Kuroo Tetsurou: What time is it?
Almost eight.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck, why didn’t you say anything? I wouldn’t have kept you at work this late.
You didn’t. I–
[Silence.]
I didn’t notice.
Kuroo Tetsurou: We’ve been talking for an hour?
Yeah, I guess so.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, I’ll let you go, then.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You should go home.
[Silence.]
Honestly, if Inuoka didn’t need the desk, I wouldn’t mind staying. It’s just–
[Silence.]
Ugh, yeah. He has shit to do. Sorry, Kuroo.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, it’s fine!
Let’s pick this up tomorrow.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Sure.
Goodnight.
Kuroo Tetsurou: ‘Night, Yakkun.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou is floating in frame, disheveled.]
Morning. [Yawns.]
I had the weirdest fucking dream last night.
[He digs the heels of his palms into both eyes, rubbing at them.]
I don’t even… remember all of it, honestly, I just remember Miya Atsumu showing up to rescue me and then turning into a lizard person. [Laughs.] He was, like, chasing me around the ISS? I don’t know how we got there, but I think it was the ISS. It was too big to be a shuttle.
And then Yakkun showed up, but I don’t actually know what Yakkun looks like, so my brain just made him this, like, vague human-shaped void? And he and I fought off Lizard-kun together. It was pretty badass.
[He laughs, running a hand through his hair.]
I don’t know what it means. [Yawns.] Hopefully Atsumu shows up human.
[He winces.]
And hopefully he doesn’t lord this over me too bad.
Honestly, I used to think Osamu got all the responsible genes between the two of them, but he’s just as immature. They’re both childish little pieces of shit. Affectionately. It’s gotta run in the family.
[He pauses.]
Maybe they are lizard people.
[He points two fingers at his eyes, then at the camera.]
I’m watching you, Miya.
[He reaches forward.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 9th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
07:13
yaku_morisuke: Morning.
07:19
kuroo_tetsurou: Hey, CAPCOM
07:21
yaku_morisuke: That coffee place is open again.
yaku_morisuke: The one with the unicorn.
yaku_morisuke: I guess they’re done with construction.
07:21
kuroo_tetsurou: Oh yeah?
kuroo_tetsurou: Did you go in
07:21
yaku_morisuke: Of course not.
yaku_morisuke: You’re supposed to take me, aren’t you?
07:23
kuroo_tetsurou: Yaku Morisuke
07:23
yaku_morisuke: Ugh.
07:23
kuroo_tetsurou: Did you just admit that you’re looking forward to hanging out with me?
07:23
yaku_morisuke: Haven’t we had this conversation before?
07:23
kuroo_tetsurou: I think you did
07:24
yaku_morisuke: I’m not even denying it!
07:24
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re not admitting it, either.
07:24
yaku_morisuke: Do you need me to?
07:24
kuroo_tetsurou: It’d be nice
07:26
yaku_morisuke: Yes, I’m looking forward to it.
yaku_morisuke: Are you?
07:29
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah, I am
kuroo_tetsurou: I can’t wait to see your face when you try that thing
07:29
yaku_morisuke: You don’t even know what I look like.
07:29
kuroo_tetsurou: Actually, yeah
kuroo_tetsurou: On that subject
kuroo_tetsurou: What DO you look like
07:29
yaku_morisuke: Why?
07:29
kuroo_tetsurou: Uh
kuroo_tetsurou: Just curious
07:30
yaku_morisuke: Like, kind of stocky, I guess.
yaku_morisuke: My hair’s a weird mix of blond, brown, and reddish sometimes.
yaku_morisuke: I’m also dashingly handsome.
07:30
kuroo_tetsurou: Well that goes without saying
07:30
yaku_morisuke: Exactly.
07:30
kuroo_tetsurou: Blond-ish, brown-ish, red-ish hair, huh?
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m picturing it
07:31
yaku_morisuke: And?
07:31
kuroo_tetsurou: Honestly, I’ll have to see it to believe it
kuroo_tetsurou: It sounds a little chaotic
07:31
yaku_morisuke: Fuck you.
07:31
kuroo_tetsurou: In a good way!
kuroo_tetsurou: I like chaotic
07:32
yaku_morisuke: Careful, you’re nearing compliment territory.
07:32
kuroo_tetsurou: Oh no, how careless of me
07:32
yaku_morisuke: I knew it.
yaku_morisuke: Your defenses are down.
yaku_morisuke: The time to strike is nigh.
07:32
kuroo_tetsurou: So you ARE planning to kill me
07:32
yaku_morisuke: For no reason at all, who should I talk to if I wanted to know the easiest way to do so?
07:33
kuroo_tetsurou: !!!
kuroo_tetsurou: Why would I tell you that
07:33
yaku_morisuke: I said no reason.
07:33
kuroo_tetsurou: There’s clearly a reason
07:33
yaku_morisuke: Actually, I can probably ask Miya-san.
07:33
kuroo_tetsurou: Do NOT ask Atsumu
kuroo_tetsurou: That guy knows too much about everyone
07:34
yaku_morisuke: Crafting my message as we speak…
07:34
kuroo_tetsurou: Okay just because I know you won’t actually kill me
kuroo_tetsurou: Especially with these messages on the record
kuroo_tetsurou: Kenma’s probably the safest bet
07:34
yaku_morisuke: Kozume Kenma?
07:34
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah, he knows too much but won’t blab as much as
kuroo_tetsurou: Others
07:34
yaku_morisuke: Why?
07:34
kuroo_tetsurou: Honestly just because he can’t be assed to talk for that long
kuroo_tetsurou: Especially with someone he doesn’t know
07:35
yaku_morisuke: No, why does he know too much?
07:35
kuroo_tetsurou: Oh
kuroo_tetsurou: He’s been my best friend since we were kids
kuroo_tetsurou: He knows more about me than like anyone
kuroo_tetsurou: Myself included sometimes
07:35
yaku_morisuke: And you both became astronauts?
07:35
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah
kuroo_tetsurou: Why
07:35
yaku_morisuke: Nothing, it’s just interesting.
yaku_morisuke: I don’t know of any other people in the field who’ve known each other since childhood.
07:35
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah, we both got really lucky
07:35
yaku_morisuke: Eh, I doubt luck had much to do with it.
07:36
kuroo_tetsurou: What do you mean
07:36
yaku_morisuke: You’re one of the most well-rounded engineers in the country, and Kozume-san is probably the most capable pilot we’ve ever seen.
yaku_morisuke: I think you’ve both more than earned your positions.
yaku_morisuke: You didn’t get here by chance.
07:36
kuroo_tetsurou: Aw, Yakkun
kuroo_tetsurou: You’re making me blush
07:36
yaku_morisuke: I think the surprising part is that you knew each other before ever entering the academy.
yaku_morisuke: Did you meet at space camp or something?
07:36
kuroo_tetsurou: Nah, we were neighbors
kuroo_tetsurou: My dad and sister and I moved in next door to his family when I was seven
kuroo_tetsurou: Although I do take some credit for his wanting to be an astronaut in the first place
07:36
yaku_morisuke: Of course you would
07:37
kuroo_tetsurou: For good reason I swear
kuroo_tetsurou: As a kid he just wanted to play video games all the time
kuroo_tetsurou: But I was annoying as hell and made him play astronauts with me and never shut up about space
07:37
yaku_morisuke: “Was” really annoying?
07:37
kuroo_tetsurou: So eventually he just gave in
kuroo_tetsurou: Fuck you
07:38
yaku_morisuke: Wait, so you bullied him into a whole career?
07:38
kuroo_tetsurou: No!!!!
kuroo_tetsurou: I would never
kuroo_tetsurou: I may have bullied him into being aware of it as an option, but he was the one who showed up at my door at one in the morning our second year of high school saying hey I think I want to be an astronaut too
kuroo_tetsurou: Best moment of my life
07:39
yaku_morisuke: That’s pretty sweet.
07:39
kuroo_tetsurou: It was <3
07:39
yaku_morisuke: You guys must be close, then.
07:39
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah
kuroo_tetsurou: Kenma pretends to resent me for bothering him all the time but I know he doesn’t mean it
kuroo_tetsurou: Kinda like someone else I know
07:39
yaku_morisuke: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
yaku_morisuke: I do resent you.
yaku_morisuke: Just not for the reasons you think.
07:40
kuroo_tetsurou: Mhm
07:40
yaku_morisuke: Don’t mhm me.
07:40
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m honestly grateful that Kenma did this whole thing with me
kuroo_tetsurou: It wouldn’t have been nearly as fun without him
kuroo_tetsurou: Like I still would have loved every second of it, and obviously the end result would have been just as satisfying, but the road here would have been a lot more painful
kuroo_tetsurou: I owe him a lot
07:41
yaku_morisuke: Does he know that?
07:41
kuroo_tetsurou: Oh yeah
kuroo_tetsurou: I never let him forget
07:41
yaku_morisuke: That must be really nice, to have someone so close be so involved in your life.
yaku_morisuke: Or at least aware of it.
yaku_morisuke: I have no idea what my best friend does, if I’m honest, and I don’t think he knows anything about what I do, either.
07:42
kuroo_tetsurou: Tell me about him
07:42
yaku_morisuke: Uh, he’s…
yaku_morisuke: Eclectic.
07:42
kuroo_tetsurou: ???
07:42
yaku_morisuke: The reason I know nothing about his job is that I don’t think he’s ever had the same job for longer than a year.
yaku_morisuke: He’s a world traveler, so he’ll just pick up work in whatever country he’s traveling to for a bit and then come home for a few months to make some more money and then go off somewhere else again.
07:43
kuroo_tetsurou: Oh damn
07:43
yaku_morisuke: Yeah, lol.
yaku_morisuke: I love and respect the hell out of the guy, but his entire existence astounds me.
yaku_morisuke: I have no idea how he’s survived this long.
07:43
kuroo_tetsurou: What, is he a risk-taker?
07:43
yaku_morisuke: Yes.
yaku_morisuke: Last time I asked, he said his near-death experience count was four.
yaku_morisuke: And four isn’t a particularly large number, but for near-death experiences it is four too many, in my opinion.
07:44
kuroo_tetsurou: Holy shit
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah
07:44
yaku_morisuke: He’s definitely something.
07:44
kuroo_tetsurou: How often do you see him, if he’s gone so much?
07:44
yaku_morisuke: Blocks of about a month or two once or twice a year.
yaku_morisuke: The nice thing is that, when he is home, he’s really good about catching up and hanging out.
yaku_morisuke: And we talk all the time when he’s not.
07:44
kuroo_tetsurou: Is that okay with you? Like
kuroo_tetsurou: Idk
kuroo_tetsurou: Do you ever feel like he’s not around enough, I guess
kuroo_tetsurou: Sorry if that’s overstepping, I just feel like if I only saw my best friend a few times a week for a couple months a year, I’d be kinda
kuroo_tetsurou: Lonely
07:46
yaku_morisuke: It’s really early for a conversation like this.
07:46
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah, sorry, we can totally change the subject
07:46
yaku_morisuke: But fuck it.
yaku_morisuke: No, it’s okay.
07:47
yaku_morisuke: I think if you asked me who my most active friend was, the answer wouldn’t be Yuu, but of all the people in my life who care about me and have stayed with me, he’s the one I fall into step with the easiest.
yaku_morisuke: He’s the one that, no matter how much time has passed, I never have to question or worry about.
yaku_morisuke: I have never been anything but 100% confident that he and I will fall right back into the friendship we’ve always had every time we see each other, even if an entire year has passed.
yaku_morisuke: So that’s why he’s my best friend.
yaku_morisuke: Not because we hang out all the time or have known each other forever, but because I can’t see a future without him in it.
yaku_morisuke: As weird as it sounds for someone as spontaneous and hard to pin down as he is, he’s the most reliable constant in my life.
07:48
kuroo_tetsurou: Wow
kuroo_tetsurou: Do you think
kuroo_tetsurou: I mean
kuroo_tetsurou: Is that what you want
kuroo_tetsurou: Like in life, is that what you want from the people close to you
07:49
yaku_morisuke: What, reliability?
07:49
kuroo_tetsurou: No, the ability to be apart for a while without it affecting your relationship
07:50
yaku_morisuke: That’s kind of hard to answer.
07:50
kuroo_tetsurou: Take your time
07:53
yaku_morisuke: The answer is kind of a yes and a no.
yaku_morisuke: In an ideal world, it wouldn’t have to be a factor. I would never want to spend that much time apart from the people I love.
yaku_morisuke: But, knowing that people have ambitions and life paths and ideals worlds of their own, I think yes, it is important to me that distance wouldn’t break us.
yaku_morisuke: I’m also more tolerant of this kind of thing from Yuu because of how blatantly he does prioritize me when he can, and how clear he makes it that he loves and values me as a friend.
yaku_morisuke: He’s unique like that. I don’t think many people would be able to show it in the way he does.
07:54
kuroo_tetsurou: That makes sense, I guess
07:54
yaku_morisuke: It’s less about the quantitative time or energy spent on the relationship and more about the qualitative effort, for me.
yaku_morisuke: Like I said, in an ideal world, I get to see the people I love all the time, but with friends especially, I think the intent and the proof of it is the most important thing.
07:55
kuroo_tetsurou: Why do you say for friends especially
07:55
yaku_morisuke: I mean, it’s different for a significant other, isn’t it?
yaku_morisuke: If I’m in love with someone, I sort of need him to be around. Or at least consistently so.
07:55
kuroo_tetsurou: What does that mean
07:56
yaku_morisuke: Like, if he’s gonna be gone for extended periods of time, I would want to know when, and how often, and for how long, and for how many years it would be a consideration.
yaku_morisuke: I don’t mind compromise, but I don’t think I’d be compatible with someone I couldn’t rely on.
yaku_morisuke: It’s a trust thing. And a selfish thing, I guess, but I think it’s okay to be a little selfish when it comes to love.
07:57
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah
kuroo_tetsurou: I think you’re right
07:57
yaku_morisuke: Well, now that I’ve bared my soul for you and archival at the ass crack of the work day, what about you?
07:57
kuroo_tetsurou: What about me
07:57
yaku_morisuke: What’s your ideal relationship like?
07:57
kuroo_tetsurou: Platonic or otherwise
07:58
yaku_morisuke: Both.
07:59
kuroo_tetsurou: Honestly, I don’t think I have much of an answer to that
kuroo_tetsurou: Trust, I guess, in both cases
kuroo_tetsurou: Trust that I’ll make my needs known and trust that they’ll do the same, and trust that we’ll either figure it out or let it go if they don’t align
kuroo_tetsurou: I don’t really believe in fate or soulmates or anything, so for me I think relationships and friendships both are just products of the effort both parties are willing to put in
kuroo_tetsurou: And the priorities and bandwidth of both parties too
kuroo_tetsurou: All I expect from the people in my life is that they’ll be honest about my role in theirs, and be reasonable about their role in mine
08:01
yaku_morisuke: That sounds like you expect all relationships to end.
08:01
kuroo_tetsurou: Oh no, not at all
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m just saying that because that’s the only thing that comes to mind for expectations
kuroo_tetsurou: For the most part, trust is just about trusting that there’s nothing going unsaid
08:02
yaku_morisuke: That’s a really good way to put it, actually.
08:02
kuroo_tetsurou: Yeah, idk
kuroo_tetsurou: I just can’t be close to anyone in any capacity that holds anything back, or starts to believe I’m not telling them the whole truth
08:02
yaku_morisuke: You called me honest, the other day.
08:02
kuroo_tetsurou: I did, yeah
08:03
yaku_morisuke: I would say the same for you.
yaku_morisuke: And I think trust and honesty go hand-in-hand.
yaku_morisuke: You expect trust, but in order for trust to be established, you must also expect honesty, no?
08:04
kuroo_tetsurou: I guess so
08:05
yaku_morisuke: That makes sense for you.
08:06
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m gonna take that as a compliment
08:06
yaku_morisuke: Do with it what you will.
yaku_morisuke: I’m just telling you the truth.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou waves at the camera.]
[He takes a breath.]
I kinda wanna do something stupid.
I really wanna do something stupid, actually.
I wanna do something that could get me in a lot of trouble and ruin professional and personal relationships and embarrass the shit out of me for the rest of my life, but wow, I really wanna do it. I’m just not good at keeping shit inside.
[He smiles crookedly.]
I don’t know. We’ll see. Maybe I can hold this shit in until I get back, and maybe I spill my guts for all of JAXA to hear live on radio. Could go either way. I’ll let you know what ends up happening.
Hopefully I don’t lose my job.
[He salutes and reaches forward.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 9th, 2054 — 12:10
You around?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey, CAPCOM. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Can I ask you a question?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Technically, you just did.
Fuck you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yes, ask your question.
If an alternate universe version of yourself showed up and asked to switch places with you, would you do it?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] I mean, maybe?
Kuroo Tetsurou: What’s the catch?
What catch?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Like, do I get to come back? Is there a reverse button? Or am I locked into whatever decision I make for life?
No, yeah, you’re locked in. It’s a one-and-done situation. You either go and get trapped there or you never get the chance again.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: What’s his universe like?
You don’t know.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So the question is really just would I ditch this timeline if I could?
I guess.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t think I would.
Really?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, I don’t know, as much as I’d like to change about the way the world works, I think there’s a lot left to learn from this life.
Kuroo Tetsurou: A lot left to live through.
[Silence.]
You know, that’s not what I expected, but it does sound like you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] What did you expect?
I thought you’d say yes in an instant.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why?
You just seem like someone who would take any opportunity for a unique experience, and getting to actually go to an alternate universe? I thought that’d be right up your alley.
[Silence.]
I think I was just expecting you to say yes because it would be another step beyond going to space. Like, if space wasn’t actually the final frontier, you seem the type to be on the front lines of reaching the real one.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Nah, that’s where you’re wrong.
I see that now.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I never wanted to go to space because it’s progress, or because it’s vast or unknown or anything.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s definitely a cool aspect of it, but the reason I wanted to go to space was really just that I like it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I like space.
Kuroo Tetsurou: If I know nothing about this parallel universe, how will I know I’ll like it as much as I like things about this one?
[Silence.]
I’m at a loss for words, honestly.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Why?
You’re just so…
[Silence.]
There are parts of you that are surprising, but nothing about you is shocking. You tell me so many things I didn’t expect of you, and yet, by the end of the sentence, I know for sure that it’s true. I’ve never met anyone like that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re being really complimentary today, Yakkun.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you sick?
[Laughs.] No, just comfortable.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s even better.
Than being sick? I would hope so.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, yeah, but better than any alternative, really.
[Silence.]
Alright, well, that’s all I wanted to know. People around the control room were talking about it. The alternate universe thing.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What was your answer?
I wouldn’t go, either.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why not?
My life here is very intentional. I’ve built it purposefully and carefully from the ground up. I’m not letting that go.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That makes sense for you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s a good answer.
[Silence.]
Fuck. I have to go to lunch.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Have fun. Tell me what you have, after.
I will.
___________________________________
October 9th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
14:07
yaku_morisuke: I had sashimi. Still starving.
14:09
kuroo_tetsurou: Can you eat something else?
14:12
yaku_morisuke: After this briefing.
yaku_morisuke: I’m technically supposed to be paying attention to Nekomata-san right now.
14:12
kuroo_tetsurou: You rebel
15:18
yaku_morisuke: Okay, hi.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 9th, 2054 — 15:19
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hi.
I just took three bananas from the kitchen.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Is that enough?
No, but they’re out of the chips I like.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Chips wouldn’t be enough, either.
Well, I can’t exactly eat a second lunch at my station. That would be rude.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why, did Nekomata-san buy or something?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ah.
It’s fine. I’ll just eat a big dinner.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Sounds like a plan. [Yawns.]
Are you tired?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, I didn’t sleep well last night.
You should take a nap.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’ll just fuck up my sleep schedule.
A short one.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m incapable of that.
Kuroo Tetsurou: If I close my eyes, I’m out for hours.
What if I wake you up? I’ll scream over radio until you answer.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] You’d do that?
Sure.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, yeah. Wake me up in an hour.
On it. Alarm set.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Thanks, Yakkun.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 9th, 2054 — 16:30
Kuroo?
[Silence.]
Kuroo!
[Silence.]
Kuroo!
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou, get your ass up!
[Silence.]
For fuck’s sake, Kuroo. Wake up!
[Silence.]
WAKE UP!
[Silence.]
Damn it.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 9th, 2054 — 17:03
Kuroo.
[Silence.]
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 9th, 2054 — 17:58
Kuroo.
[Silence.]
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 9th, 2054 — 18:21
Kuroo!
[Silence.]
___________________________________
October 9th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
19:46
kuroo_tetsurou: Fuck
kuroo_tetsurou: I told you I wouldn’t wake up
kuroo_tetsurou: And now you went home
19:50
yaku_morisuke: I haven’t gone home yet.
19:50
kuroo_tetsurou: What the fuck
kuroo_tetsurou: Why not
kuroo_tetsurou: More overtime?
19:50
yaku_morisuke: No.
19:50
kuroo_tetsurou: Well what the hell Yakkun
19:51
yaku_morisuke: I wanted to be here when you woke up.
19:53
kuroo_tetsurou: Like out of curiosity or
19:54
yaku_morisuke: Sure, you can call it that.
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 9th, 2054 — 19:54
Kuroo Tetsurou: What about Inuoka-san?
He’s coming in late.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Are you covering for him?
You’re asking a lot of questions.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, you’re not making a lot of sense.
No, I told him to come in late. You slept through most of the day, so…
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay.
Shut up.
Kuroo Tetsurou: All I said was ‘okay.’
You said it smiling.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Is that not allowed?
Whatever.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How long do you have?
About another hour. Inuoka’s coming in at nine.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, what do you want to do until then?
I don’t know. I didn’t think that far. [Laughs.] Any ideas?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: We could play twenty questions.
I didn’t stay late to play twenty questions.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, then tell me what you stayed late to do.
Nothing, just not twenty questions.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m not a mind-reader, Yakkun.
And I’m serious. I wasn’t thinking of anything specific. I just–
[Silence.]
I think we’re past twenty questions, that’s all.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: What if we reinvent twenty questions, then?
As what?
Kuroo Tetsurou: As in, you ask me ten questions and I ask you ten questions. Twenty in total. Anything is fair game.
Anything?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Anything.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Within reason.
No, see? It’s not anything. [Laughs.] It’s never really anything.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Do you want it to be anything?
How about yes, anything is fair game, but we each get two vetoes. Two chances to shut it down and request a different question.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, yeah. That seems reasonable.
Great.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Great.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Who goes first?
Do you have a question in mind?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I do.
[Snorts.] Go for it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Would you say you have mommy issues or daddy issues?
What? [Laughs.] Fuck, really? Right away?
Kuroo Tetsurou: It says a lot about a person!
Daddy issues. Definitely.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I see. Care to elaborate?
Nope.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Fine. Your turn.
Have you ever had sex in space?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Holy shit, Yakkun, this is recorded!
Is that a veto?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, I haven’t had sex in space.
Would you have to say no even if the answer was yes?
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s another question.
Interesting.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What’s your most embarrassing memory?
Veto.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Come on, this early?
Yes, veto. Give me another one.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ugh.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, what’s one embarrassing memory you’re willing to share?
Fuck, okay. Let me think for a second.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Take your time.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: It has to be a good one. No easy way out.
Fuck off. I’m thinking.
[Silence.]
Okay, so when I lived in Russia–
Kuroo Tetsurou: You lived in Russia?
Yes. When I lived in Russia, I got in an argument with this dude at a bar who could have fucking crushed my skull between his forearm and his bicep. The guy was huge. He was fucking with this other girl in my study abroad group, though, and she was clearly uncomfortable, so my friend and I stepped in to tell him to get lost.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How is this an embarrassing memory, exactly?
I’m getting there. So I get up in this guy’s face and tell him to leave this girl alone, and he just, like, looks me right in the eye, blinks, and pushes one of his shots off the bar and onto my lap. The whole thing. Dumped right onto my crotch. [Laughs.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: No way.
Seriously. So we leave, obviously, because this guy isn’t afraid of us and the girl’s safety was more important than a fight, and we’re getting in a taxi out front, but none of us are very fluent in Russian so we’re trying to speak in English to the driver. It seems fine, we’re filing in, and then — very loudly, on a very crowded street — the driver shouts, “Not the one with piss all over him,” pointing right at me.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] No fucking way.
So now I’m standing on the street with, like, three hundred Russian twenty-somethings staring at my very wet crotch and whispering to each other, and I have absolutely no way to clear my name. None. I don’t know how to say ‘it’s not piss’ in Russian. I’m fucked.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What did you do?
Kuroo Tetsurou: How did you get home?
I fucking walked. My friend came with me, but man, that was worse than any walk of shame I’ve ever done. I seriously looked like I pissed myself. No one could tell it was alcohol.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s tragic.
It was. Tragic is the perfect word.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Mortifying, even.
Exactly.
[Silence.]
That’s it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s your turn.
Oh, right. Okay. What was the worst kiss you’ve ever had?
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] You don’t want to hear it, trust me.
I’ll decide that for myself.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s really your question?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Alright, fuck it, but you gotta buckle in. There’s backstory.
I’m ready.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I was sixteen.
Already a bad start.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It was with my first girlfriend.
I can see where this is going.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, you can’t.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Our first kiss actually wasn’t bad, as far as I was concerned.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It was chaste and sweet. Innocent. Seven out of ten. The second one wasn’t bad either, and the third and fourth and tenth and fifteenth were all fine, too.
You counted?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, this is hyperbolic.
Okay.
Kuroo Tetsurou: But then things heated up, and tongues got involved. I was not very good at the tongue thing, at the time, which is to be expected. I was sixteen and inexperienced.
Kuroo Tetsurou: The first time it happened, I was careful. Maybe too careful. She wasn’t happy.
Ah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, that’s still not the one I’m getting to.
Kuroo Tetsurou: She asked me to practice. Actually, she asked me to watch a tutorial video.
She did not.
Kuroo Tetsurou: She did.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So I did. I watched, like, six. They all said different things and they were so all over the place that I ended up more confused than I was to begin with, but I figured if I combined all the tips and tricks of good kisses, I’d end up with the perfect one, right?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wrong. Horribly wrong. I showed up to her house a few days later and stuck my tongue so far down her throat that she gagged, threw up on my shirt, broke up with me, and asked me to delete her number.
Oh, Kuroo, that’s bad.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] No shit.
Did you ever see her again?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, she sat two rows behind me in class for the whole rest of the year. Never talked to me again.
That’s kind of fucking hilarious.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ouch.
No offense. Honestly, I’m surprised. I was expecting you to talk about some bad kisser you hooked up with at a college party or something.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I was an engineering major, Yakkun.
So?
Kuroo Tetsurou: The college parties I went to were fronts for a robot fighting tournament we had going in the dorms.
You are such a nerd.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And proud.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’ve gotten a lot better at kissing, though. I swear.
I didn’t ask.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m telling you anyway.
Thanks.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, my turn.
Kuroo Tetsurou: If I went through all of your belongings, what’s the weirdest thing I would find?
Define weird.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I would hold it out to you in shock and ask why the fuck you have it.
A diary that belonged to a murder victim.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Excuse me?
I found it under the floorboards of my childhood home. Looked up the name inside and found out she was murdered, like, eighty years prior.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, why the fuck do you have that?
I don’t know, I felt like I couldn’t put it back, so I’ve just been carrying it around for twenty years. It’s on my bookshelf.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Right, because where else would it be?
My thoughts exactly.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re so fucking weird.
Well, what's the weirdest thing you own, Judgmental-san?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Is that your question?
Yeah.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Mm.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I have this clay model of a troll that’s one of the original, authentic models from a claymation film made in twenty-fourteen. No one I’ve ever met has seen the movie, but I think it’s still pretty cool.
What’s it called?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Boxtrolls. It’s actually really good, just had, like, no major cultural impact.
Yeah, I’ve never heard of it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Figures.
Where did you even get the model?
Kuroo Tetsurou: The director’s daughter’s estate sale.
Kuroo Tetsurou: She used to live down the street from my first apartment out of college. They had a ton of them there, but I just picked the one I liked the best. It’s super ugly.
[Laughs.] Is that why you liked it?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Obviously.
Okay, noted. Your turn.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Do you think you’re a good person?
Yes.
Kuroo Tetsurou: That was quick. You don’t even need to think about it?
I mean, yeah. I live according to a set of morals I’ve developed over my entire life thus far. I know what I consider a ‘good’ person to be, and I know I’m in line with that description.
[Silence.]
The question of whether I’m objectively ‘good’ has more nuance, but I would say that because there’s no way to know the true meaning of good and evil for certain, the only definitions we have are the ones we find for ourselves, which leads me back to a yes.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well put.
Thank you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Your turn.
[Silence.]
The other day, you said you’re good at reading people, and when I asked what you think about me, you told me to ask you again in a few days.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: What’s your question, Yakkun?
What couldn’t you tell me then?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: My instincts say that you’re…
Kuroo Tetsurou: Special.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: You care a lot about the people in your life, and you expect them to care about you, too. You’re feisty. Really fucking smart. Even fucking funnier. You challenge the people around you in ways they don’t expect, because there are so few people in the world who are capable of challenging others the way you are. You’re unique. Independent, but not alone. You fight for the things that you want, but you let them go when it’s necessary. You–
Kuroo Tetsurou: You love hard. Intentionally. And you fall kinda fast, but you like to give things time to grow before you give your all to someone new.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I also get the feeling that, while you’re not really one to question or second-guess things you know are true, you like to hear them stated in plain terms. Often. Just so you don’t forget.
[Silence.]
Wow.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How far off am I?
Not at all. That was… I didn’t know you were paying that much attention.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Of course I was. I have been.
I’m a little bit floored.
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Why?
It’s just weird to be seen so clearly by someone I just met. [Laughs.] I feel like I’ve known you a lot longer than a week and a half.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Okay. Ask me a question.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Why did you stay late tonight?
[Silence.]
I-
[Muffled speaking.]
Oh, hey Inuoka.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Seriously?
Shut up, Kuroo.
[Muffled speaking.]
I’m– fuck I really do have to go.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Can’t you tell him to come back in an hour?
He can hear you.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Hey, Inuoka-san, read the room, yeah?
You’re so– Just–
[Muffled speaking.]
He says he can’t. He’s already behind because I made him come in two hours late.
[Silence.]
I’m sorry, Kuroo.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, it’s okay. I get it.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’ll talk to you tomorrow?
[Silence.]
I can’t wait.
___________________________________
RECORDING START
[Kuroo Tetsurou smiles sadly.]
I didn’t do it. I almost did, but I just… felt like it would have been rushed, at the end.
[He shrugs.]
Maybe tomorrow.
[He reaches forward.]
RECORDING END
___________________________________
October 10th, 2054
MESSAGE LOGS
07:03
yaku_morisuke: kuroo
yaku_morisuke: wake the fuck up
07:04
kuroo_tetsurou: I’m up wtf
___________________________________
[COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT]
Oct. 10th, 2054 — 07:04
I have news.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay?
The shuttle inspection passed everything on the first go. They’re ready.
Kuroo Tetsurou: What?
They had planned for a few days of extra repairs following the inspection in case there was anything wrong, but there wasn’t. The shuttle is ready. Miya-san has agreed to go up early, too.
[Silence.]
You’re coming home today.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Today?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck. Seriously?
Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re not kidding?
I’m not kidding. [Laughs.] They just told me a few minutes ago. Miya’s on his way here right now.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck. [Laughs.] Fuck!
Kuroo Tetsurou: I can’t believe this.
Yeah, I can’t imagine how excited you must be.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: It certainly feels surreal.
[Silence.]
Are you not excited?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, I am.
You don’t sound excited. Am I missing something?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I am excited! Of course I am.
There’s a ‘but’ in there. What the fuck, Kuroo? Do you want to stay in space?
Kuroo Tetsurou: No.
Then what’s the ‘but’?
Kuroo Tetsurou: There is no ‘but,’ Yakkun.
Yes, there is.
Kuroo Tetsurou: No, there isn’t!
Kuroo, what the fuck is wrong? If there’s something that could impact the mission, we need to know.
Kuroo Tetsurou: It’s nothing like that.
So there is something.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck.
What is it?
[Silence.]
Kuroo.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t want to stop talking to you! Okay?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t want to stop talking to you.
Kuroo…
Kuroo Tetsurou: Look, I’m about to say something really fucking out of left field, but stick with me for a sec.
Okay.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Talking with you has been the absolute best part of my days lately, and I know my days aren’t particularly interesting right now, but I get the feeling that that would be the case no matter what.
Kuroo Tetsurou: And last night, I thought… I don’t know what I thought, but I feel like something was supposed to happen, and it didn’t, and now maybe it won’t.
Kuroo Tetsurou: So I am excited, I really am. And relieved. And so fucking grateful. But I just thought, like, when I come back, you won’t be contractually obligated to talk to me anymore, and what if I lost my shot, you know?
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: I don’t want to go back to not knowing you.
[Silence.]
You’re an idiot.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Wow, thanks.
No, I just– If you think I’m going to stop talking to you just because you’re not stuck in space anymore, you’re dumber than I thought.
Kuroo Tetsurou: You mean that?
Of course I do.
[Silence.]
Talking to you is the best part of my days, too.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: That’s pretty gay, CAPCOM.
You said it first!
Kuroo Tetsurou: And you said it back.
So how am I the gay one?
Kuroo Tetsurou: I never said you were the only one.
[Silence.]
I can’t believe I know what it sounds like when you smile.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Well, can you blame me?
No.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck.
[Laughs.] What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: Fuck!
Kuroo Tetsurou: I guess I’d better, like, prepare for rescue, huh?
Probably.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Yakkun, I could kiss you right now.
Don’t get ahead of yourself.
Kuroo Tetsurou: How long?
What?
Kuroo Tetsurou: How long until they get here?
A few hours. Three, from whenever Miya gets here, and he should arrive within the next half hour or so.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Holy shit.
Go get your shit together, Kuroo.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Okay, yeah.
I’ll see you when you get back.
[Silence.]
Kuroo Tetsurou: [Laughs.] Yeah.
___________________________________
NOTE:
The following descriptive text was requested by
YAKU MORISUKE
for the security camera footage inside and directly outside of
CONTROL ROOM B on OCTOBER 11TH, 2054.
Distribution of this documentation beyond the individuals with active
security access to CONTROL ROOM B is strictly forbidden
and will result in immediate termination
and legal action taken against the perpetrator.
Yaku Morisuke (hereafter referred to as ‘Yaku’) enters CONTROL ROOM B and starts unpacking his belongings at COMMUNICATION TERMINAL 6. He stops, attention caught by something on top of the desk, and he reaches for it.
He holds it up, revealing that it’s a small, blue, plastic walkie-talkie made for children, and frowns at it, turning it over in his hand.
From the walkie-talkie comes a voice:
K: “Hey, CAPCOM.”
Yaku jumps, startled, and looks around the room. His eyes land on something out of frame, and he throws the walkie-talkie in that direction.
Distantly, we hear:
K: “Ow, fuck! What the fuck was that for?”
Yaku crosses his arms over his chest.
Y: “You scared the shit out of me, dick.”
Kuroo Tetsurou (hereafter referred to as ‘Kuroo’) walks into frame, rubbing a spot on his left arm.
K: “I thought it was cute!”
Y: “I guess.”
[Note: Yaku is looking away from Kuroo, refusing to meet his eye.]
Kuroo approaches COMMUNICATION TERMINAL 6, smiling as he weaves his way through the desks, and comes to a stop a meter from Yaku.
K: “You look different from how I expected.”
Y: “What did you expect?”
K: “I don’t know. The freckles are a surprise, but I like them.”
Yaku rolls his eyes again.
K: “Do I look how you expected?”
Yaku frowns, glancing down at the desk.
Y: “Uh…”
Kuroo breaks out into a grin.
K: “You looked me up, didn’t you?”
Y: “Well, your employee profile has been on my desk for the last week and a half. It was
hard to ignore that stupid grin in your photo.”K: “Hard to ignore, huh?”
Yaku huffs.
Y: “Shut the fuck up.”
[Note: Kuroo begins to move forward a little bit at a time, slowly progressing over the next several seconds.]
K: “Well, listen, I haven’t had a proper meal in three weeks, and I really fucking want hot
pot right now.”Y: “At seven a.m.?”
K: “Time is meaningless.”
Y: “You’re back on Earth now, Kuroo. You kind of have to pay attention to what time it
is, even if time as a concept is made up.”K: “Give me one more day, then. Before I have to return to reality.”
Yaku stands in silence, looking at Kuroo with a stunned expression. Kuroo reaches out, taking Yaku’s left wrist in his right hand.
K: “Come get hot pot at seven a.m. with me, Yakkun.”
Yaku sighs.
Y: “I have to tell my supervisor–”
K: “Already taken care of. Kai told Nekomata-san you have heartburn.”
[Note: Yaku is now actively trying not to smile.]
Y: “That’s so fucking cheesy.”
They begin to walk towards the exit of CONTROL ROOM B.
K: “I mean, with the amount of food we’re about to eat, it’s not unrealistic.”
Y: “Speak for yourself.”
Kuroo bumps his arm against Yaku’s shoulder.
K: “Hey, does this count as making you do something?”
[Note: At this point, they exit CONTROL ROOM B and enter the hallway. Source footage switches to the second security camera.]
Y: “Fuck no, I’m going of my own free will.”
Kuroo snorts, bumping their arms together again.
K: “Fine, but I’ll get you one day. Just you wait.”
Y: “Oh, I’m waiting. I think I’ll be waiting a long time, though.”
K: “I’m okay with a long time.”
There’s a beat of silence as they continue walking, then, distantly:
Y: “You’d better be.”
They exit through the security checkpoint.
Descriptive text ends here.