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Athena sat down at the foot of her bed, having long given up on sitting at her desk in an orderly manner, as she usually did. It hadn’t taken her long to realize that the carpet would be much more forgiving to her injuries, but her pride prevented her from actually taking those few steps until she felt like she would hit her head against the wall if she sat a second longer.
I’m the goddess of wisdom, I’m supposed to be better than this, she thought as she read the scroll. Normally, she was better. Normally, she managed to maintain her image even in the sanctity of her own home… yet even she could admit that these were anything but normal circumstances. Although Apollo had agreed to discharge her from the infirmary a few days ago, he told her to “take it easy” because she was still, technically, hurt. However, “taking things easy” had never been one of her talents, especially when Zeus gave her some documents to look over. Her siblings assured her that it was understandable if she didn’t feel up to it, that someone else could take over if she needed a break, but she couldn’t afford one. She said to everyone that she didn’t regret the price she had to pay for Odysseus’ release, which was true, yet that knowledge didn’t change the way her body was still covered in bandages. The way her hands shook. The way her nights were plagued by nightmares which left her sobbing like she had during Pallas’ death.
She couldn’t afford to focus on those aspects now though. She was slowly but surely getting through her work, she could focus on the pain when it was done… Besides, how many more did she have to read? It couldn’t have been that many…
Then, Athena made the mistake of looking at her desk, the stack of scrolls seeming larger from her place on the ground. Tears pricked her eyes as soon as the sheer quantity of the work she had to do and stubbornly continued to flow despite her desperate attempts to wipe them off. When that didn’t work, Athena set the scroll and quill down and began pacing around her room. Walking around had always been a good coping mechanism and made her thoughts organize themselves, but now it seemed to only deepen her panic and quicken her breaths. Soon enough, Athena was tugging at her wings, her hair, scratching at anything in an attempt to ground herself.
However, even the pain wasn’t enough to soothe her panic attack and she wondered if it would end up killing her. Maybe it was better this way… if she was dead, she wouldn’t have to do all of that work…
She didn’t manage to finish her thoughts before someone entered her room and immediately run to her side.
“G-get away! I’m fine, I promise!” yelled Athena and squealed in fear when the figure tugged her hands from her calf. “Please… leave me alone…”
“I fear I cannot leave you alone when you’re in pain, baby,” said the figure in a gentle voice.
Athena suddenly realized exactly who entered her room and stood up, stumbling as she tried to bow.
“Queen Hera, I- I did not mean for you to find me like this-“ she said, breathing quickening as she spoke. Questions floated through Athena’s mind, which wouldn’t have been unusual, except this time they destabilized her and worsened her panic: What if Hera made fun of her for being a disappointment? What if Hera punished her herself? Or worse, what if she brought her to Zeus and left the goddess to his mercy?
“Hey, love, please look at me,” said Hera gently, holding Athena’s cheeks between her hands. “I promise I’m not mad, alright? You’ve done nothing wrong, nothing for me to be angry about.”
“You have every right to be mad. I’m meant to be doing work, not crying about it…” mumbled Athena, scrubbing the tears from her eyes. She didn’t care to be gentle, therefore didn’t notice how her skin reddened and her nails drew small dots of blood.
“Don’t do that now,” chided Hera as she grasped Athena’s wrists with one hand and resumed holding her cheek with the other, though there was no real bite behind her words. “Let’s sit down for a bit, ok?”
Athena shook her head, keeping her head tilted down. “I don’t need to, I’m fine.”
Hera raised an eyebrow at that. With the way Athena’s entire body was trembling and barely staying upright, Hera doubted the other’s words. However, Hera knew that she wouldn’t accept her offer easily, so she tried another approach. She hadn’t used it in a long time, not since her own children had been young.
“I would like to sit down,” she said, still holding Athena up. “Would you like to join me?”
Athena nodded and, if she recognized the trick, she didn’t comment upon it. Once they were both on the floor, Hera took notice of Athena’s injuries. Her arms and calfs had scratch marks on them, some of the wounds leaving behind small dots of blood.
“Oh, love, you don’t have to hurt yourself if it gets that bad. You can always count on me and your siblings, you know?” murmured Hera as she ran her hands through Athena’s hair, undoing a few tangles as she did so.
“I didn’t do it on purpose!” protested Athena, though she didn’t seem horrified at the implication of Hera’s words. “I was just… trying to calm myself down…”
Hera hummed and continued running her fingers through Athena’s thick red hair. “And what got you into such a panic in the first place?”
Athena’s embarrassment was clear by the way she began mumbling apologies and tilted her head down to avoid meeting Hera’s gaze. If she had met the queen’s eyes, she could have seen that they held no judgement, but care and concern for the younger goddess. Thankfully, Hera wasn’t going to wait around for Athena to come to that conclusion herself.
“Look at me,” said Hera as she lifted Athena’s chin with her index finger. She nodded in approval when Athena did as she was told, then continued: “Whatever happened, I promise I will not judge you for it. I want to help you, no strings attached.”
“There’s always strings attached on Olympus…,” whispered Athena, and Hera couldn’t help her heart breaking at her words.
“Yes, and it’s awful, but I am not the whole of Olympus. You can be honest now.”
Athena seemed to consider her words and took a deep breath before answering. “As you know, I have been discharged from the infirmary a couple of days ago…”
“I’m listening, go on,” said Hera as she stroked Athena’s cheek with her thumb, smiling as the younger goddess seemed to gain more bravery. “You’re doing so well, just keep going.”
Athena nodded decisively. “Of course, I expect that my workload should return to normal soon enough- I’m not complaining about that- but Father has assigned me to look over some documents… Usually, this wouldn’t be a problem, and it shouldn’t be now either-“
“Hey, slow down,” interrupted Hera. “You’re working yourself up for no reason, darling. You’re allowed to take your time, it’s no bother.”
Athena looked momentarily dumbfounded before she took a deep breath and continued: “My injuries have been acting up recently. It’s not worth bringing to Apollo’s attention, but they have been interfering with my ability to get my work finished. It- it’s just a lot and my head is pounding and I’m so tired…”
As the goddess of wisdom uttered those words, she leaned onto the queen’s shoulders and allowed the sobs to break through. “I- I don’t want to be a failure, I don’t wanna disappoint Father or you or anyone- but it’s so hard to be myself, to even think at this point! I- I do not regret what I did for him, I simply wish it didn’t have to make me weak and pathetic…”
Hera simply held Athena, rubbing her back as she listened to her talk. The queen only dared to voice her thoughts once the younger had finished speaking, knowing that if she stopped, she might not continue again.
“Oh, my dear, you are not weak or pathetic because of your injuries, I promise,” murmured Hera in a soothing tone. She didn’t bother asking who he was, she was sure all of Olympus knew of Odysseus and Athena’s sacrifice by that point. “That whole thing with Zeus- it wasn’t your fault, I promise. You deserved nothing of what happened to you, do you understand?”
Athena shook her head. “It is though! If I hadn’t left Odysseus-“
“If you hadn’t left him, tragedy would have still befallen him. Even you cannot change a prophecy, my dear,” said Hera, continuing to stroke her back as Athena shook her head. “I’m sorry you got injured, it really wasn’t fair, was it?”
“I cannot question the king’s judgement,” answered Athena carefully.
“A wise reply, worthy of your title,” praised Hera, then moved to look Athena in the eyes. Her sharp grey eyes were red and puffy, yet they still held a flicker of defiance, a clear sign she wasn’t giving up. “Not the one I’m looking for, however. You may speak your truth with me.”
Athena raised an eyebrow, still distrustful. “If he finds out…”
“I will not snitch to Zeus, not when I have felt his lightning on my skin before. Not when I know what his wrath feels like,” said Hera as she traced a finger over her own arms, covered in scars, both from hanging over Chaos and other… incidents.
Athena nodded and gently squeezed the queen’s hand. “It- it hurts, but I think I deserve it. I spoke out against him during the Games, so I was punished. I believe it was fair.”
“Fair? You believe it was fair? Oh, sweetheart…, ” Hera laughed, one of those crazy, humourless laughs that often signified she was fighting with Zeus once again. “Do you believe it was fair for me to be hung over Chaos, humiliated in front of all of Olympus? Do you think it was just for Zeus to throw Hephaestus badly enough that he’s permanently disabled, when his only crime was defending me? Do you think it was justice when Ares was left to rot in that jar for a year, or when Artemis was yelled at for not making eye contact, or when your mother was killed to avoid that damned prophecy?“
Seeing the pain flash across Athena’s face, it almost made Hera regret her rant.
Almost.
Because a moment later, the hurt was mixed with understanding and Hera was now sure that Athena wouldn’t have come to that conclusion otherwise.
“It’s different with me…,” muttered Athena, though her voice was laced with uncertainty.
Hera nodded and cupped the back of her head, gently scratching the base of her neck. “I know, love, but that doesn’t change what he did. No parent should ever hurt their own child like that, especially such a sweet girl like you…”
Athena chuckled bitterly, two tears spilling through her eyes. “I’m a monster, a failure of a goddess. My mother sacrificed herself for my safety, only for her daughter to end up a dissapointment-“
Hera let go of Athena, using one arm to hold up her chin and the other to circle her back. It wasn’t done harshly, more as a show of power than genuine restraining. For a few minutes, the two sat in silence, the only sound being Hera’s tongue clicking in disapproval every time Athena’s eyes strayed.
Once the goddess of wisdom managed to hold eye contact for a full minute, Hera spoke, still keeping up her steely gaze: “Now, are you going to call yourself a failure or a dissapointment again?”
Athena shivered under the coldness of her look and voice, managing to shake her head. “No, I will not.”
Hera nodded, the slightest bit of pride seeping through. “That’s good. Why?”
“Because…” Athena let her sentence taper off, for once unsure of what to say. Hera was still looking at her though, clearly expecting an answer. “Because I’m not a failure or a dissapointment…?”
Athena cringed at her uncertain tone, but was forced to focus again as Hera replied. “You aren’t a failure, that’s correct. Do you know why that is?”
The younger goddess shook her head, so the queen continued: “You tried so hard to save your friend, even after everything he had done. You loved him enough to challenge Zeus for it, and that takes guts. You were incredibly brave and I’m so proud of you for pushing through. It doesn’t make you a failure to be tired, especially after what you had gone through, do you understand?”
Athena nodded, slightly leaning into Hera’s touch. “I understand.”
“Good, then I want to hear you say it. Say that you aren’t weak, a failure or a dissapointment. Say that you are strong and deserving of love.”
“I- Fine. I’m not weak, a failure or a- a dissapointment,” repeated Athena and took a deep breath before finishing her sentence: “I am strong and deserving of- of… love.”
Pointedly ignoring Athena’s struggle to get out the words, Hera released her hold and gently cupped Athena’s cheek again, wiping a few stray tears.
“There we go, there you are,” murmured Hera proudly. “You are so strong and brave, but you are also only so small in a world so big.”
Athena whined at the queen’s words and moved to hug her, hiding her face in the crook of her shoulder.
“Oh, what’s this now?” asked Hera in an amused tone, wrapping her arms around Athena.
“I’m not small,” mumbled Athena, voice muffled by Hera’s dress.
The queen laughed and moved so that Athena was sat on her lap. “Really? Because you look rather small like this.”
The younger goddess shook her head. “Still strong. Still wise.”
“Of course you are, love. You always are.”
For a few moments, Hera simply held her stepdaughter, before she noticed the way her dress was sticking to her legs uncomfortably. She cracked an eye open and saw the cuts on Athena’s legs reopening, dripping ichor onto her skirt. She wasn’t very bothered by the sensation, having long become used to her children’s injuries reflecting on her, but she knew she had to treat the wounds.
With a chuckle, Hera lifted Athena and held her bridal-style, stabilizing herself before walking to the cupboard she knew the first aid kit was in.
“What are you doing?!” asked Athena with an owlish screech. She held onto the fabric of Hera’s dress tightly, the fear of the unknown taking over the rational part of her mind.
“You’re alright, love, calm down,” said Hera as she sat down on the bed and allowed Athena to regain her bearings. “I merely want to clean and wrap your injuries, nothing more, nothing harmful.”
Athena attempted to grab the cloth, but Hera simply pushed her back on the bed. “I can do it myself!”
“Of course you can,” assured Hera as she ran the cloth under some cold water, though she doubted the war goddess was able to wash the cuts without causing more damage. “The difference is that you do not have to. You’re not alone anymore.”
Athena shook her head. The queen had already seen her be so vulnerable, she couldn’t risk being seen crying over those mild wounds. Despite never being brought to tears easily, she often came to cry if she was both overwhelmed and injured. Usually, she had dealt with her emotions by herself, in the sanctity of her bedroom, without anyone else to intrude.
“I- I’ll be fine, I promise. You really don’t have to do this.”
“No, I don’t,” mused Hera, taken off-guard by the nearly pleading tone. “But I wish to. Are you afraid I will hurt you?”
“No, I trust you not to hurt me… I think. I simply believe it would be unfair to impose upon your time by forcing you to deal with me when I’m like this.”
“That is not for you to decide. I love you and I wish to care for you, no matter how horrible you believe yourself to be,” said Hera softly. Then, with a more upbeat tone, she added: “Besides, I have multiple children of my own. Whatever you have in store for me, I’ve probably already dealt with it before.”
“I am not your child though,” answered Athena, her quick mind showing. “I am not a child at all.”
Hera simply hummed, taking the bandages out and preparing them. “Aren’t you? You call Zeus your father, yet I think I have taken care of you more than him.”
Athena didn’t dignify her with an answer, opting to sit in silence before calmly saying: “You’re a good mother.”
“And you’re an amazing daughter,” replied the queen, pressing her forehead against Athena’s. “The best anyone could ask for.”
The two stayed like that for a few seconds before Hera pushed herself up. “I’ll start with your calfs, alright?”
Athena nodded and straightened her back, extending her legs.
“It might hurt a bit and you’re allowed to express that, okay? I’m not going to judge. Just try to sit still and you’ll do great.”
Once Athena gave her a thumbs-up, Hera began cleaning the cuts, scrubbing the crusted blood as she pointedly tried to ignore the way Athena gripped the blanket and tried to stop her body from shaking.
“I’ve finished cleaning your legs, love,” murmured the queen as she pressed a kiss to her forehead. “The hard part is over. I just have to apply some ointment and bandage them up.”
Athena relaxed slightly at Hera’s words and allowed herself to breathe as her injuries were bandaged.
“And… there we go!” exclaimed Hera with an overly excited tone, one she used to use on her own children when they were young. “Just like a little bow!”
Suddenly, Athena was thrown out of her panic and shot Hera an incredulous look. Then, she looked at her bandage and realized Hera had tied it in a small bow, instead of the classic medical tie. “It’s… cute, I’ll admit.”
Hera chuckled and ruffled her hair. “Come on now, I only have to wrap your arms and then you can relax.”
Athena gripped the edge of Hera’s skirt when she moved to grab the bandages, uttering a “thank you”. However, as soon as she realized what she was doing, she immediately let go of the clothes and apologized, only for Hera to gently reposition her hands.
“You holding my dress might actually be a good idea. It gives you something to focus on and it’s easier for me to clean.”
Athena tilted her head down, hiding the blush staining her face red. Her attempt at hiding wasn’t well-received, however, by the queen who lifted her head and looked her in the eye. “Don’t hide yourself, love. There’s nothing to be embarassed about.”
The goddess of wisdom knew her cheeks must have gotten even redder, but she kept her head high. This time, she was calmer when her arms were cleaned, distantly recalling advising soldiers to breathe through their panic.
“All done, love,” said Hera as she tied off the last bandage. “You did so well, you were so brave about it all and I’m very proud of you.”
Athena knew that it would be useless to deny her claim, so she settled for nodding and laying her head on her shoulder, hands still fisted in her dress.
“Seems like someone’s in need of a good nap,” chuckled Hera as she ran her fingers through the curly red hair, smiling as she saw her stepdaughter relax even more.
“Can’t… can’t do that,” mumbled Athena, her words slurred by sleep. “Got- gotta work-“
“You can work when you wake up. Now, you need to rest.”
It was a testament to her exhaustion that she didn’t protest and allowed Hera to tuck her under the blanket.
“Stay, momma, please?” asked Athena, eyes drooping closed, looking much younger than she actually was.
“I’ll stay, love, I’m not going anywhere,” murmured Hera as she pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Good night, sweet dreams.”
Later, once she was absolutely sure Hypnos wouldn’t release Athena from his grasp, Hera would take a few scrolls and complete a good portion of the younger’s work. Even later, after Athena had woken up, she would storm into Zeus’ bedroom and yell at him for giving his daughter, who was barely discharged from the infirmary, so much work.
All of that would come later though. At that moment, Hera was content with holding Athena close and being grateful for the daughter she didn’t birth herself. (However, blood didn’t matter that much to her, not when her own father had swallowed her. So, as far as she was concerned, Athena was as good as her own child.)