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“Would you take a look at the Mas? I think the alternator is going, but I feel outta my depth with it.” Neil had asked Matt one afternoon.
“Sure, if Andrew is alright with me touching his car.” Matt side-eyed him.
Since the girls graduated and his relationship with Dan had drifted away with the distance, Matt was left to spend a plentiful amount of time with Andrew’s lot. A mutual respect was shared among them, but touching the Maserati required a different level of trust. One that, apparently, Matt had earned. Not long after, he had his head under the hood of Andrew’s car, changing the alternator.
Andrew sat against the bumper of Matt’s truck, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth – burning through without much attention paid to it. His blazing eyes were searing into the two of them, expression unreadable. Neil’s body heat pressed against Matt as he watched him work at the bolts attaching the alternator to the engine. He’d ordered replacement parts, only to doubt his assessment and abilities when the time came to change the thing. Andrew paid the inside of his prize possession no mind, keeping steady sights on the two of them.
Nothing was threatening about this silent observation, not like it might have been a couple years ago. Renee’s graduation had left Andrew itching to spar with someone, and much to Matt’s surprise, Andrew had showed up to the gym with boxing gloves, asking to partner up. His tells were easy to spot for Matt now – at least when it came to throwing punches. His emotions seemed to vibrate on a frequency only Neil could accurately decode though.
Neil had brilliantly eager eyes, memorizing each step taken, and Matt could imagine him replicating this a million times more for Andrew. He was envious of this gesture of affection, and the attentive appreciation Andrew had lingering on Neil. That’s what Matt hadn’t recognized in Andrew’s gaze, the foreign look of fondness – affection, even. And what Matt wouldn’t give to be allowed a fraction of the love they held for one another.
He was probably still just picking at the stitches of his shattered heart, missing Dan – or missing having someone to lean on the way Neil and Andrew leaned on each other. They so easily supported one another’s weight. What would it be like to trust someone so completely? Could they bear his weight with the same ease? Desiring these two was not something he would let himself entertain.
“Just gotta make sure you reattach it to the battery.” Matt said when he had the new alternator in. Neil squished closer. He was at the wrong angle to see the wire Matt was fiddling with.
“Here.” Matt said as he dragged Neil in front of him by the wrist and used his grip to place Neil’s hand where the wire was. Matt was a head taller than Neil, and it was easy to lean over him to guide his hand to the other end of the wire and up to the battery.
“Connects on this end.” Matt pointed, and Neil happily attached the cable. He turned a dazzling grin on Andrew, more confident in his abilities than when they’d opened the hood. Matt looked over to find Andrew’s hooded eyes pinned to him, one of his eyebrows raised ever so slightly.
Matt was instantly more aware of the hot points of contact where he and Neil touched. He jerked back from Neil and whacked his head on the top of the hood, hissing through his teeth.
“Shit! Are you alright?” Neil asked, spinning around. Matt cradled the back of his head, hands slotted through the spikes of his hair.
“It didn’t hurt.” It had. But it was much preferred to a possible knife to his throat.
Never was Matt more grateful for his dark complexion, because the heat at his cheeks was a sure sign he was blushing fiercer than Allison when she drank. She turned giggly and red up to her ears after a line of shots, and Matt was certain he was just as flushed.
“I guess I’ll– I’ll just leave you guys to it.” Matt chuckled nervously, rubbing a hand at the ding on his head. He turned on his heels and let his long legs carry him quickly towards the tower.
“Hey, Boyd.” Andrew’s voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He turned around hesitantly.
“Thanks.” Andrew said, a spark of amusement tugging his lips up the smallest degree. On a normal day, Matt probably wouldn’t have noticed the slight curve of his lips, but it was hard to miss when he was watching so intently.
“No problem.” Matt said, sure that he was blushing even worse as he made for the dorm. He was flustered like a damn schoolgirl, over Neil and Andrew. This was a horrible development.
---
“Do you think his head is okay?” Neil asked, prodding at the new alternator. He was willing himself to memorize exactly how Matt had got it out and put the new one in.
“Definitely not. Boyd has a crush on you.” Andrew announced it like it was as given as the sky being blue.
“What?” Neil’s attention was instantly pulled from the innards of the Mas.
“What d’ya think? Does he make the list of friends you might think about fucking?”
Neil put a finger on his chin, contemplating. It was only a few months ago that he’d found a word for the way he experienced attraction, that he wasn’t so strange after all. And this had become a game they played, picking out someone in their lives and comparing Andrew’s criteria to his own. Neil hardly ever thought about his own attraction outside of this game, but it was a good exercise in recognizing it.
Where did Matt fall? Neil had asked himself this question once before, when trying to figure out if his attraction to Andrew implied an attraction to men in general. Matt hadn’t sparked any desire in him then, but a lot had changed since. Baltimore had come and gone, and all the Foxes had seen him at his weakest, had taken the danger he brought with open arms and warm hugs.
Matt had been a stable consistent in Neil’s life since he got to PSU. Matt, who had offered kindness and support from the first day, who had protected him and the binder he held so dear at the time. This was his best friend they were talking about. He gave bear hugs and shoulders to cry on, and he hosted movie nights for team bonding. Matt with his big gleeful smiles that took over his whole face and crinkled his eyes, and his quiet knowing smiles when he was proud of how far Neil had come.
“I think he might make the list,” Neil said, “Does he make yours?”
“Too tall.”
“And I’m the liar?” Neil balked, and Andrew rolled his eyes.
“Kevin is a special exception to the rule. Besides, Boyd has a crush on you, not me.”
“It matters to me that he makes you feel–” Safe. Neil stopped himself short, not wanting to push the conversation there if Andrew didn’t.
“I trust him.” Andrew said. Neil nodded. There was a lull in the conversation, and Neil closed the Mas’ hood. He went about packing up their tools. A few quiet minutes passed before Neil had everything back in order. Andrew tugged at Neil’s belt loop, drawing him close to his perch on Matt’s truck. He snagged the rag from Neil’s back pocket and wiped at Neil’s chin.
“Oil.” Andrew muttered, his eyes far more interested than his tone. Neil cracked a smile. He was disheveled and greasy, yet Andrew still looked at him with all the electric interest he always had. Andrew gave him a snort, which was as close to a laugh as he was going to get, and pushed the rag back into his pocket. He lanced his fingers at the small of Neil’s back, keeping him close.
“He would make my list. He benches more than I do, and I am not immune to nice arms.”
Neil’s smile widened as he looped his arms around Andrew’s neck.
“Should we do something about it, then?”