Chapter Text
Artwork by Neverwho
“And that’s a wrap!” The director shouts. “Great job, guys. Really amazing work.”
Ichigo Kurosaki accepts the towel handed to him and offers it first to Renji Abarai, his costar. Renji is still flushed and out of breath from the intensity of their scene. “Damn, Ichigo. Think you just about killed me.”
“I can tell.” Ichigo chuckles and towels off the spunk on his coworker’s stomach. “Sheesh. Doubt you’ll have any left for Rukia. Weren’t you supposed to try again tonight?” Renji and Rukia had married a year ago and were trying to start a family of their own.
Renji whacks him upside the head. “You seriously doubting my prowess? Just you wait, we’ll be pregnant this time tomorrow!”
Ichigo snorts. “I don’t think it happens that fast.”
As they shower, they make small talk about scenes they enjoyed this past week, what cool new shows they’re watching, a video game they’re currently playing. Porn may not be the most conventional of professions, but it’s a job, albeit one where he fucks his coworkers.
Porn started off as a side job to earn extra cash while he was in college. He filmed himself jerking off, thirst traps, playing with his favorite toys, and the videos blew up. Viewers were more than happy to pay for his content and he started making money hand over fist.
He’d dropped out of school to dedicate more of his time to shooting with amateur studios, then big name ones. He enjoys porn; he makes connections, has hot sex, and occasionally gets emails from viewers telling him his videos saved their sex lives. It’s fulfilling and knowing it helps people adds another layer of satisfaction.
“Rukia’s been kinda stressed lately. She really wants to be pregnant. How does this sound? To relax her, I wanna take her to a nice sauna.” Renji shuts off the shower and pads over to his locker, toweling off his long red hair. “We’ll have dinner at her favorite place. Then, I’ll light a buncha candles in our room and—”
I get it, already. You’re in a committed, happy relationship.
“Earth to Ichigo!” Renji waves his hand in Ichigo’s face, making him jump. He smirks. “You cum your brains out, is that why you’re spacey?”
“Shut up,” Ichigo huffs with more venom than he intended. Ignoring Renji’s frown, he opens his locker and starts getting dressed. Heat runs up the back of his neck and he sighs. “Sorry, Renji. Don’t know where that came from. I’m happy for you guys.”
Renji arches an eyebrow. “But?”
“No buts.” Ichigo tries to smile but it’s difficult.
Is he, really? He was in a great mood until Renji started talking about his relationship.
“Hey.” Renji claps him on the shoulder. “You’ll find someone.”
Where’s this coming from? “Sure,” he replies lightly, shrugging out of Renji’s grip.
In all the years he’s worked in porn, his relationship with the guys on set has been purely professional. He doesn’t want to date his coworkers and while he’s hooked up with a few, he’s never taken things further than a night.
His sex life is great. No complaints there. But he wants more from guys than just sex. In only a month, he’ll be thirty. He wants the life his parents led, one filled with love, laughter, and familial devotion. Even after his mother’s death, his father never moved on. To this day, Masaki still has a place in his heart.
That’s the kind of love Ichigo wants, but he’s becoming more and more convinced he’s never going to find it. Every guy he’s dated has taken an issue with his profession. Ichigo tries to be understanding. Not everyone likes the idea of their boyfriend fucking other guys for a living. To Ichigo, it’s another day at work. He’s fond of his coworkers, some like Renji have become his best friends. He’s never fallen for a coworker or crushed on one.
When he’s dating someone, Ichigo gives his all to them. It doesn’t matter how committed he is, his partners eventually get jealous and insecure, even guys who seem open-minded at first. He’s tired of guys who want to change him and lately, that’s all he’s getting.
Can’t he have both a job he loves and a happy, committed relationship?
Ichigo stays silent as he and Renji leave the studio. Renji offers to drive him back, but it’s a lovely evening in New York and Ichigo would rather walk to his apartment.
As Renji turns away, Ichigo can’t hold back the question nagging at him.
“How do you and Rukia do it?” Ichigo knows how that sounds the second it leaves his mouth.
“Kind of a personal question, isn’t it?” Renji gives him a big grin, bobbing his brows. “Rukia’s made it clear she’s down to watch us together, you know.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Ichigo snaps. “I mean, was Rukia ever bothered that you do porn?”
Renji frowns thoughtfully, then concludes, “Nah. She thought it was hot that I was confident enough in my masculinity to fuck guys. She says as long as she’s the only girl who has my heart, it’s fine. Also helps that I was the first guy who knew how to make her squirt.”
Ichigo barks a laugh. “Yeah, I imagine that helped seal the deal between you two.”
Ichigo’s worked with a few straight guys who’ve done gay porn. As long as his costar is respectful and not douchey, Ichigo’s fine with it. Renji is by far the best straight costar he’s ever worked with.
“You guys Never fight? She doesn’t get insecure?”
“Early in our relationship, yeah. She’d never dated someone in the industry. We stumbled a bit. I was a dumbass and sucked with communication. I had to work to prove she was the only girl for me and eventually, she believed me.”
Had Ichigo communicated with his past boyfriends? If he’d done a better job at making sure they knew he cared about them, then maybe things wouldn’t have ended.
Renji whistles. “Damn. That last idiot really messed with your head, didn’t he?”
The reminder of his ex-boyfriend Luppi makes Ichigo flinch. He’d really liked Luppi but his raging jealousy had made things tense between them. Yet another guy who’d claimed he was fine with Ichigo’s profession, only to get possessive and jealous later on. He’d demanded Ichigo quit, but Ichigo refused.
Ichigo forces a smile. “It’s nothing.”
Renji’s unconvinced scowl says he’s not buying Ichigo’s bullshit. He makes for his car and unlocks it.“Forget that asshole,” Renji calls out as an afterthought, one leg in the car. “You’ll find Mr. Right, Ichigo. Doubt he’ll be hotter than me though!” He’s laughing as he drives off, and Ichigo huffs his amusement.
Finding Mr. Right isn’t the hard part—keeping him is.
Heart heavy, Ichigo begins the walk home. The sun sets and the city lights come on as he crosses 9th Avenue. He’d grown up in a speck of a town you couldn’t find on a map. Living in New York was never part of the life he envisioned, but he’d traveled abroad for a shoot and fell in love with the city. When he started making enough money, Ichigo made the big move from Japan to America and never looked back.
He misses the friends he grew up with, even if he calls and keeps in touch. His younger sisters are always happy when he Facetime’s them. They’re still living at home with their dad until they graduate from college. When he’d confessed he was an adult film actor, he’d worried they’d see him differently.
While his sister Yuzu had blushed and her twin Karin choked on her dinner, they’d said that if he was happy, then they were, too. Of course, his father laughed his ass off but later, they had a couple beers and his father assured him that so long as he stayed safe, that was all that mattered. It had been awkward as hell telling them, but he’d rather they hear it from him than risk finding him online.
Maybe his love life is lacking, but he’s got no shortage of loyal friends and family. At the end of the day, that should be enough.
Once he’s home, he makes a smoothie and relaxes on the couch, trying to distract himself with a movie. When he realizes he accidentally chooses a rom-com, he grimaces and shuts the TV off. No thanks. Forced to acknowledge his mood will not get much better, Ichigo calls it a day and gets ready for bed. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s out for the night.
When he blinks his eyes open sometime later, a wall of darkness obscures his bedroom. He reaches for his phone and flinches at how bright the screen is. It’s 3 A.M. Why is he up? His phone vibrates as messages ping obnoxiously, one after the other. “The hell…”
An unknown number is blowing up his phone with texts. Fucking spam bots. Ichigo smacks his finger against the screen and his inbox opens.
hello ichigo
you look so beautiful while you sleep
Ichigo’s mouth goes dry. Who is this sick fuck? Some creepy fan? He scrolls to the next message. It’s an image, one that turns his blood to ice.
It’s a picture of him, curled up in bed.
Someone was in his bedroom. They stood right next to his bed, inches away, and took photos of him while he slept, completely unaware.
The phone vibrates in his grip, making Ichigo’s heart leap into his throat.
this is just the start, my love
we are meant to be
i wont stop until youre mine and no one elses
<3
Ichigo covers his mouth as bile rises in his throat. Are they still here? Baseball bat in hand, he crosses the room. Like hell he’s going to let this asshole terrorize him in his own home.
He flicks the living room lights on and sighs in relief when nobody jumps out at him. He searches every room, in the closet, behind the shower curtain, and under the bed. The door isn’t locked but he knows he locked it before bed. How could someone have gotten in without making a sound? Unless… what if they’d broken in before he got home and waited until he went to sleep?
The idea someone was hiding in his apartment while he was completely unaware makes his stomach churn.
First, he calls the police. Then, he calls Renji.
“The hell, Ichigo?” Renji’s voice is groggy. “Is everything okay?”
Ichigo paces, raking a hand through his hair. “No. Someone broke into my apartment.”
“What?!”
Another voice shouts, “Renji! You scared the lifeout of me! Why’re you screaming at 3:30 in the morning?”
“Sorry, sorry! Ow! Put the pillow down, woman!” A door closes and Renji says, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. No. Fuck! They were in my bedroom, Renji. They took pictures of me while I slept!”
“Holy shit…”
Ichigo parts the curtain. There’s no one in the streets, but Ichigo’s skin won’t stop itching.
“Did you see them?”
“No.” Ichigo closes the curtains. “They sent me creepy texts, too, about how they wanna make me theirs, or something. Maybe they’re an obsessed fan?”
“Shit, Ichigo. You need a bodyguard.”
“I think you’re exaggerating.” The last thing Ichigo wants is a stranger following his every move, dictating what he does. It sounds awful.
“Renji,” Rukia’s voice chimes in, sounding much less irritated. “Tell him about the agency we used before.”
“Oh, good idea! So, remember back when this weird chick was stalking me?”
“Hard to forget.” Ichigo remembers how scared Renji was, especially since the fan made death threats against Rukia for daring to steal “her man.”
“We hired Arrancar Security. Weird name, I know, but these people are legit. The guy we hired, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, is a total bad ass. Caught the girl threatening us and made sure she got arrested. Use him if he’s available!”
“I don’t know…”
“Ichigo.” Renji’s voice is unusually series. “Don’t wait until this person becomes a threat. Get a bodyguard. Promise me.”
Ichigo sighs. What really worries him is the thought of someone getting hurt protecting him, but Renji’s right. He’s heard enough horror stories to know how this one could end.
“Arrancar Security… I’ll call them first thing. Promise.”
Ichigo hangs up and releases a heavy sigh.
He hopes this Grimmjow guy is hot.
If he has to be followed around all day, the guy should at least be easy on the eyes.