Chapter Text
BE DAVE
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You’re lying in bed and the sun is dancing swiftly on your sheets through your non-opaque curtains. Seconds ago, you were sound asleep, but now consciousness is winning over you slowly as you start to realise where you are and what time it is.
It’s the first day of summer.
You keep your eyes closed for a while and break the stunning silence of your house through a series of unrequited growls. You feel so comfortable here. And yet the light peering through your window is pestering your rest. Somewhere laying on your nightstand is a pair of sunglasses, but they are not very comfortable to wear in bed. Not that you’ve never fallen asleep wearing them.
The grogginess wears off, but the sheets are still comfortable, so you stay in bed, eyes wide open and staring at your ceiling. You put on your shades. You wear them as if they were prescription glasses, even though they are no such thing. Your hand continues its exploration of the nightstand to be able to grasp your phone. It’s about 11:30. You put it back. It immediately dings. Several times. You take it back and take a look at who might be texting you.
It’s your cousin. Err…ex-semi-cousin. Roxy.
--TG began pestering TG--
ROXY: hey dave
ROXY: Daaaaaave
ROXY: guess what
DAVE: what
ROXY: its summer!!!!!!!! Hell yeah!!!!
DAVE: really? i didnt notice due to all that sunlight stabbing my slumber and the fact that nothing else has
DAVE: especially things like alarm clocks and constant stress
ROXY: oh did I wake u up or smt?
ROXY: didn’t mean 2
DAVE: nah youre cool
DAVE: i was kind of bored anyway
DAVE: what do you want
ROXY: who told u I wanted smt? Well yeah actually I do want smt
ROXY: aka not 2 be bored all summer
ROXY: so i was thinkin
ROXY: since were all gonna end up doin it anyways, then maybe we should meet up today
ROXY: u and me and rose and dirk
ROXY: watcha say?
DAVE: youre awfully quick to business
DAVE: like some Japanese bullet train that is so fucking on time its actually in advance
DAVE: which isnt all that helpful since like its way to early anyway
DAVE: and all those Japanese commuters just end up missing their train and have to call their bosses who are not happy and tell them they should have thought about it
DAVE: so they come in early the next day, shifting the train schedule
DAVE: which adjust and comes in even earlier
DAVE: thus creating a vicious cycle of never ending lateness through earliness
ROXY: yeah yeah, just come around park Jefferson at 2
ROXY: and if u aint interested just forward the invitation to rose
ROXY: actually, pls do that irregardless of your interest
ROXY: and also dont tell her i said irregardless
DAVE: i got you
DAVE: dont worry ill be there
DAVE: i mean
DAVE: its not like ive got anything important to do or anything
DAVE: wait
DAVE: wheres that park again
ROXY: oh shit
ROXY: pricked my finger
ROXY: on an eyebrow plucker of all things
ROXY: lol
ROXY: anyway its just behind the elementary school u dummy
ROXY: i know it’s a little further from ur house…
ROXY: but bikewise its still doable
DAVE: ok thanks
ROXY: ill talk to dirk ;)
DAVE: of course you are
ROXY: oh come on hes like the only eligible bachelor of our weirdo squad anyway
DAVE: how quickly you dismiss me is baffling
ROXY: oh come on
ROXY: like
ROXY: i know were technically not related, but 2 me it still feels borderline incestuous dude
ROXY: not that I dont appreciate the implied comment that you would like to figure on my suitors list ;P
DAVE: the fact that youre hot doesn’t mean im all over you roxy
DAVE: you are my cousin too, you know
ROXY: (sure)
ROXY: (NOT!!)
>ROXY: *wink wink*
You notice Rose just connected. You decide now is as good as ever to pester her.
--TG started pestering TT--
DAVE: rose
ROSE: Dave.
DAVE: rose
ROSE: Dave.
DAVE: rose
ROSE: Dave.
DAVE: alright are you going to go on with this shenanigan or were you just curious to see how far i would take this thing
ROSE: Both, given that the reasons you listed aren’t in any way mutually exclusive.
ROSE: I don’t have anything less asinine to do with my time at this particular hour.
DAVE: and what about at 2
ROSE: what about it, indeed?
DAVE: are you free
ROSE: The exact extent of my freedom at any given moment is of course restricted by the means and properties of the physical world and societal conventions, but in the sense of not having to conduct any particular activity at that particular hour, then yes, I happen to be available
ROSE: Until that is you presumably ask me to engage in such an activity.
DAVE: yeah well your cousin want us all to meet at the park behind the elementary school
ROSE: Roxy?
DAVE: yes
ROSE: And Dirk will be similarly present, I suppose?
DAVE: if he agrees
ROSE: I won’t miss it.
ROSE: But I do wonder,
ROSE: why she is so precipitous to have us all meet?
ROSE: We do have two whole months in front of us placed there for this exact purpose.
DAVE: i dont know rose
DAVE: i dont read into it too much
DAVE: its gonna be fun so who cares
ROSE: You are right.
ROSE: It surely doesn’t matter.
DAVE: nope
DAVE: i mean i guess it is a sweet way to start off the summer
DAVE: sweeter than staying in bed all day and munching on instant ramen and aj so much you get sick of it right on the first day of presumably of a whole bunch of days
DAVE: not that i would ever get sick of aj
DAVE: but instant ramen or pizza yeah pretty much
ROSE: Better to be bored together than alone.
DAVE: EXACTLY
DAVE: like
DAVE: even the things you eat so much you become nauseous just thinking about it taste better than everything in the world if it conjures up some sweet memories of emptiness well spent with bros
DAVE: which is the lesson that was so obviously shared but the cult classic star wars i think
ROSE: I think you may be thinking of something else. But I do get your point.
ROSE: Do you own a bicycle, Dave?
DAVE: yeah sure
DAVE: like its an old thing but its functional enough
DAVE: maybe i should pimp it up or something
DAVE: paint it with flames
DAVE: and memes
ROSE: I don’t think that would in any way improve to its functionality.
ROSE: Perhaps you should just keep it as it is.
ROSE: instead of displaying in plain view your distaste for actual taste.
ROSE: But I won’t make that decision for you.
DAVE: alright
DAVE: then see you later i guess
ROSE: See you later, Dave.