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I. The Bonus
“Guess who’s taking you out to dinner with his new bonus?” Dick said cheerfully from right outside his boyfriend’s cubicle. His boyfriend. They had been back together for half a year, and it was still surreal to Dick.
“That would be you, gorgeous,” Jason replied, rising from his chair and planting a slow but delicious kiss on Dick’s lips. For a moment, Dick forgot himself and moaned into it.
“Get a room,” Steph growled from her end of the cubicle.
“You wanted a bigger cubicle, and this is all we could offer,” Dick said with his arms still around Jason’s neck. “Don’t be jealous of our love.”
“I have a girlfriend.”
“I didn’t get a bonus, but I would like to treat you to an anniversary getaway,” Jason said, ignoring Steph.
“Babe,” Dick cooed, pressing kisses all over Jason’s face. He heard Steph make a noise of disgust before she rose from her seat and left the cubicle. “It hasn’t even been a year. We don’t need to do anything big for six months.”
“Trust me, Dicky. We do.”
Dick saw the guilt swimming in Jason’s eyes and in an attempt to comfort him, took his hand and brought it to his lips. “Don’t worry. We can do whatever you want.”
“Good. I hope you like Cabo.”
“Jay, no!” Dick exclaimed at the pricy trip he suggested. “Maybe we can do a weekend in New York. It’ll be quicker and cheaper.”
Jason made a face. “Dick, I already bought the plane tickets. We’re going to Cabo.” From out of his pocket he procured one of the tickets and shoved it into Dick’s hand. “We’re leaving in a month.”
“Could you do us all a favor and stop pretending like you don’t want to go to Cabo with your boyfriend?” Cass barked as she walked past their cubicle.
Jason leaned away from Dick to throw her a menacing look. “How about you come here and suck my—”
“I swear, the language used in this office is absolutely appalling.” Clark was approaching them from behind Cass with a concerned frown. “Do I really need to have Barbara hold another Sensitivity Seminar?”
Dick chuckled nervously. “No, no. We wouldn’t want that again. She would finally kill someone, and I’m betting on Jason.” He looked at his boyfriend with a looked with worry and amusement. “Better be on your best behavior.”
Jason smirked. “I would, but I know you like it best when I’m naughty.”
II. The Sensitivity Seminar
“Damn it, guys. We just had one of these three weeks ago!” Well, Dick was right about Barbara being pissed. “And where the hell is Jason? He’s one of the reason’s I had to set up this stupid seminar. Again.”
“Home sick with the flu,” Dick said meekly from where he was sitting, trying to stay out of Barbara’s sight range. He gulped at the murderous look she gave him.
People started to trickle in at that point and fought for the seats farthest away from Barbara, but some were unlucky enough to sit in the front row, Bart, Conner, and Cass being the ones with the misfortune to be within three feet of Barbara. She glowered at everyone in the room, her gaze not even missing Bruce and Clark; she was most likely resentful that they had asked her to hold another one of these seminars, and in an attempt at an apology, Clark had gotten up in front of the room and spoke to everybody first.
“If the company has to host another one of these, you will al be attending a seminar led by Bruce.” Said man was resting against the wall with a scowl equally vicious as Barbara’s at the mention of him hosting a seminar.
Usually Barbara would greet everyone before speaking, but she got right down to it. “I have a list of infractions that occurred within the past week, and Bruce’s form of punishment seems to work the best on all of you, so let the public humiliation commence.”
“Here we go,” Tim murmured into Dick’s ear.
“Fuck formality.” Tim flinched away from Dick. “Sorry, Clark, Bruce, but fuck. You guys! I am seriously appalled at what goes on here. Don't even get me started on Gross Daryl…”
“I can’t sit here and listen to this,” Tim resumed his whispering. “Honestly, I’m a bit tipsy right now.”
“You?” Dick asked skeptically.
“Conner and I overdid the mimosas at brunch.”
“Nice.”
“I think I mistook one of Cassie’s birth control pills for an Advil.”
“Seriously?”
“Definitely took Sunday through Wednesday. Twice.”
“Tim!”
“Oh, my god, Dick, shut the fuck up!” Barbara had a stray hair out of place and she looked about ready to throw her clipboard at his face.
“Gotta go,” Dick said quickly, hauling Tim to his feet in a frenzy. “I’m taking him to the hospital.”
“Wait, what?” Conner stepped forward and grabbed Tim’s other arm. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
“The idiot took some birth control pills.”
“Dick, are you shitting me?” Barbara shouted. By this point, Clark and Bruce had settled for sitting quietly in their seats playing with their phone apps. “You can’t lie to get out of this seminar!”
“Cassie, you might want to start using condoms until you find time to go see a pharmacist,” Dick said off-handedly.
“Fuck,” Cassie swore before making her own exit.
“I don’t need a hospital,” Tim said, giving Dick an easy smile.
“Ignore him,” Conner ordered. “Unfortunately, Damian and I have a meeting with some Lex Corp assholes, but as soon as we’re finished I’m driving to meet you guys.”
“Fine,” Barbara huffed, dropping her clipboard to the floor. “The seminar is cancelled. Thanks a lot, Tim. Your estrogen consumption has ruined the day.”
III. The Casual Friday
Dick sensed rather than saw Jason’s presence in his office. He made the hairs on Dick’s arms stand up, the smile on his face brighter, and his composure more relaxed. Funnily enough, Jason seemed to have the exact opposite affect on others, but Dick couldn’t get enough of Jason, even though he got to see him at work and at home.
Rather than look up, Dick remained focused on the work in front of him. He needed to make sure that Cullen’s work on the ad with Kara was flawless, and he had hoped that he would be able to run it by Clark that morning; it was already past lunch. Dick heard Jason walk around his desk and felt his hands descend onto his shoulders, rubbing for a moment, then sliding down his arms, onto his hips, where he grasped Dick and placed a gentle, yet seductive kiss onto his neck.
“Those jeans make your ass look like sin.”
Jason’s hot breath on his ear would make him tremble any day of the week, but when he was late with a deadline Dick could resist even Jason. He entertained Jason’s touches, allowed him to firmly grasp the cheeks of his ass as his kisses grew more heated and turned into more teeth than tongue.
“I wore them for you,” Dick teased, making his last minute changes to the ad. “You can get me out of them when we get home.”
That had Jason growling into his neck, “What’s wrong with right now?”
“No,” Dick said firmly. Jason took his hands off Dick’s ass and settled for wrapping them around his waist. “Sorry.” Dick turned his head to face his boyfriend and kissed the pout off his lips. “If you want, I’ll let you show me off.”
“That’s no fun,” Jason mumbled into his shoulder. “Everyone already knows you belong to me.”
Dick laughed and took Jason’s hand. “Come on. Follow me to Clark’s office.”
Together, they stepped outside the office and began the trek to the elevator, and Dick had barely taken three steps when he had to stop in his tracks and double take at Steph’s shared cubicle with Jason.
“Steph, you know daisy dukes aren’t work appropriate. Neither is the crop top.”
She swiveled around in her chair and crossed one long leg over the other, showing off what she was wearing just to spite him. “I wouldn’t call what you’re wearing work appropriate."
Dick looked down at his clothes. “What’s wrong with them?”
“Your pants are so tight that it looks like you waded into a swimming pool filled with paint.”
Jason made a noise of approval and playfully slapped Dick’s ass, causing a yelp and a blush from the older man.
“Now that definitely wasn’t work appropriate,” Steph said with the glee of a little girl who got a pony for Christmas. “How does this work? Should I find Cass and slap her ass in front of you guys?”
“Yes,” Jason said with enthusiasm, which Dick could not decipher as real or fake.
“If you get away with wearing that outfit for the rest of the day I will wear those daisy dukes next Friday.”
“What?” Jason and Steph exclaimed in unison.
Dick smirked. “Yup. There’s no way you won’t get in trouble for this.”
“Steph, I’m counting on you to win,” Jason pleaded.
“Don’t worry,” Dick said with an evil smirk as he resumed his walk to the elevator, “I can always just wear that outfit for you at home.”
“No fair!” Steph whined.
The elevator doors opened, and Dick was thrust inside by the force of another body. When the doors closed, Jason had him pinned to the wall of the elevator and was attacking his mouth with such intensity that Dick immediately wrapped his legs around Jason’s torso and pulled him closer, still holding the ad in his right hand.
Jason took his mouth off of Dick’s long enough to whisper against it, “Only wear those shorts for me, got it pretty boy?”
Dick barely had enough time to mumble his agreement before Jason was on him again.
IV. The Stripper Gram
Like a normal person, Dick hated Mondays. He hated getting off the elevator on his floor and seeing people like Tim and Kara super chipper and eager to work. Granted, Tim had most likely had two pots of coffee before the beginning of the workday, but Kara was an enigma. Dick reminded himself that the sooner he began work, the sooner he would get to go home.
His first few hours of work went as expected. He had a meeting with Bruce and Clark and the other managers, then hovered around Kara’s and Bart’s cubicles to supervise one of their major upcoming projects, and right before lunch prepared a speech he was going to give to the board of directors.
It wasn’t until after lunch that the day got…weird.
Dick walked into the restroom to find a frantic Wally trying to plunge a toilet a clogged toilet. With a mop. Dick called someone from the janitorial staff, and Wally made a new enemy. Kate had texted him asking what one was to do if they hypothetically ran into an ex at a Strabucks, and she explained she had texted him due to his past history with exes. Bitch. As for Damian…Damian greeted him. Genuinely. Without the sass and sarcasm.
At one in the afternoon, the day went to shit.
Dick was innocently sitting at his desk, working on a new ad, when a knock interrupted his sketch. “Come in.”
Kori opened the door, but didn’t step inside. “There’s a visitor for you, Mr. Grayson.”
“Kori, I told you that it’s okay for you to call me—”
“I like to keep it professional in the workplace.”
Dick nodded. “Right. Well, I wasn’t expecting anyone today.”
“Trust me. You’ll really want to see this.”
It turned out that Dick really didn’t want to see that, that being a male stripper. It wasn’t fair. Dick did everything right. He got to work on time, stayed late when he needed to, and treated his boyfriend with the respect he deserved. So why did the universe feel the need to punish him so?
“Wow, Dick. New friend?” Conner snickered into his hand. Dick glared at Tim who was failing at keeping his man in line. In fact, he was giggling, and definitely enjoying the hand around his waist, seeing as he was laughing against Conner’s neck.
The so-called visitor Kori had mentioned happened to be someone that Dick did not know and did not care to get to know. He didn’t want to make assumptions, but he was absolutely positive that the man standing in front of him was a stripper. His hair was over gelled, he had the fit body of somebody who worked out regularly, and he was wearing nothing except for a very thick, red bow in place of underwear. From where he was standing, Dick could make out the tag wit his name written on it. This had to be some sort of sick joke.
“Uh…”
“Dick Grayson?” the barely naked man asked.
Dick’s silence must have been a yes to him, because the man put down the boom box he was holding and pressed the play button. A song came on that Dick had heard Jason working out to plenty of times, and before he could react he was being pushed into a chair that Bart had oh so nicely placed behind him. Without even being given enough time to process what was happening, the man started dancing, grinding on Dick. All he could do was sit there stiffly with hands clenched around the edges of the chair, and let it happen.
“Bonus! Bonus! Bonus!” he heard Wally and Roy cheering somewhere to his left.
God, he wanted to die on the spot.
“Hey!”
And that would be an infuriated Bruce.
“Everybody back to work,” he instructed over the bass. “And you,” he said, pointing to the stripper, “turn that off and leave the premises immediately.” With fear in his eyes, the stripper did as he was told, leaving Dick all alone in that cold chair.
Not having the courage to look Bruce in the eyes Dick spluttered, “B—Bruce, I—I’m so sorry. I didn’t know—”
“Just get back to your office,” Bruce grumbled. “You two,” he boomed in a much more authoritative voice, stopping Wally and Roy in their tracks. “In my office. Now.”
The cherry on top of the cake was the phone call he received right when he got back to his office.
“Hey, Baby. My flight got delayed, so you won’t need to be at the airport until ten. I’m sorry that you’ll have to leave so late.”
“It’s fine.”
There must have been something in his voice, the way he responded, because Jason was asking him, “What’s wrong?”
“You wouldn’t believe me.”
“Try me.”
“I got a stripper gram.”
Silence.
“Babe?”
“From who?”
“Wally and Roy. Jay, baby, don’t do anything—”
“I’m going to kill them.”
V. The Company Retreat
“I don’t want to go,” Jason told Dick for the tenth time that day. “The only reason I tolerate being around these morons at work is because I don’t have to see them outside the office.”
After the last Sensitivity Seminar fiasco, Clark decided that it would be in everyone’s best interest if they went on a company retreat. Dick thought that was a great idea if the outcome of the retreat was for everyone to end up in body bags, but he couldn’t bring himself to crush the idealistic man’s dreams of a functioning work environment.
“Do you have the sunscreen?” Dick settled for ignoring Jason’s complaints. He got an earful the last night. While they were having sex.
Jason snorted, momentarily forgetting his complaints. “Dick, we’re going to be in the woods in the middle of winter. What scenario can you think of where we’ll need sunscreen?”
“I don’t know.” Dick pouted. “We don’t have enough room for the notebooks.”
“Notebooks?” Jason sat down on his desk and instead of helping settled for watching Dick pack some last minute items. “We have limited space, so stop packing stuff we don’t’ need. Like sunscreen and notebooks.”
“Well, what if the sun decides to make an appearance?” Jason gave him a skeptical look. “What if we need to take notes? I’m sure Bruce and Clark have put together group exercises and got some public speakers—”
Jason laughed. “You need to relax.” Dick crossed his arms, refusing to budge. “Fine,” Jason huffed. “Hey, Step. Got any room left in your bag?”
“If it’s just the notebooks and sunscreen, yes.” He tossed her the items, which she zipped into one of her side pockets. “Glad to have settled your lover’s quarrel.”
“Don’t worry,” Jason assured him. “I double checked to make sure I packed the most important items.” Jason opened his backpack, and to Dick’s amusement and horror, pulled out some condoms and a bottle of lube. “This is enough for a weekend, right?”
“You think we’ll find the time to have sex twelve times?” Dick asked incredulously as he counted the condoms. “We don’t even know if we’ll be bunking together. Clark made the room arrangements, and I’m sure he didn’t put us in the same room.”
Jason frowned. “Oh. I feel bad for the poor sap who’s going to be bunking with me.”
“Todd!” Damian approached the two with his own suitcase in hand. “I call the bed near the window. I like a cool breeze when I sleep.”
VI. The Announcement
It was an amazing day.
Dick had woken up refreshed, a new man. An engaged man. It had taken him a moment when he woke up to realize that the new weight on his finger was his engagement ring, and he had smiled the entire time he got ready for work. He made Jason breakfast before waking him up, even laid out his work clothes for him. They definitely took their time getting ready, taking breaks to share languid kisses in bed, in the shower, on the kitchen counter.
All Dick could think about was telling everybody at work, sharing the love he and Jason shared, but his boyfriend—no, fiancé—felt very differently.
“They’re not going to leave us alone,” Jason groaned in the car. “All they’ll do is ask questions, and pester us about the wedding—”
“That’s because they’re going to be happy for us,” Dick explained, rolling into his parking spot. “Come on. Please.”
“Don’t give me the puppy eyes,” Jason said, getting out of the car and walking ahead of Dick into the building. “You’re not manipulating me into getting what you want.” Dick came up next to him and linked their arms together. Jason dared a glance at the face of the man who was finally making him an honest woman—yes, that was what Dick was calling him now, and no, he had no intention of stopping. “Don’t you want to keep it between us for a little bit? Enjoy it without the hassle?”
“Enjoy what?”
They both jumped in place at the voice that snuck up behind them.
“Steph! We have great news.” He was completely ignoring what Jason had expressed to him, but he couldn’t hide it; he was just so damn happy! “Babe, I’m sorry, I’m going to make it up to you tonight with the best shower blow job you’ve ever had,” he apologized before exclaiming, “We’re engaged!”
Steph dropped her satchel and squealed. “Oh, my god, it’s happening! You’ve tied down Jason Todd!” She managed to throw her arms around both of their wide frames. “I’m so happy for you guys! Can I be in the wedding? Please, please, say I can be in the wedding! Jason, you piece of shit, I’m your partner, so you better have a place for me in your damn wedding!”
“This is what I wanted to avoid,” Jason told Dick in his know-it-all tone.
Maybe it was out of spite that when they got off the elevator onto their floor, Dick yelled, “Jason and I are engaged!” and let their friends swarm them before they could get to their seats.
“Congratulations!”
“Have you picked a date?”
“Where’s the wedding? You better not make me pay for a plane ticket.”
“I’m the best man, right?”
“Um, pretty sure that’s me.”
“Todd, you could’ve done worse. Grayson, you definitely couldn’t have.”
“Yes, a congratulations are in order,” Bruce said, making his way through his employees. He offered Dick and Jason a rare hug. “Clark will be upset that he missed the announcement, so be sure to call him when you get the chance.”
“Will do,” Dick agreed. He watched Jason fondly as he tried to answer everyone’s questions.
“Thanks, Tim. No, we haven’t picked a date yet. We don’t know where the wedding will be, but it’s going to be wherever we want it to be you cheap bastard. The guy who comes up with the best bachelor party idea can be the best man. Fuck you, demon-spawn.”
“Hey,” Bruce said quietly so only Dick could hear. “I’m glad you guys ended up working things out. You’re good for each other.”
Dick beamed. “Thanks, Bruce. That really means a lot. To both of us.”
Bruce nodded. “Okay, everyone, back to work. Dick,” he said just as he turned to head back to his office. “No wedding planning on the clock.”
“You got it, boss.”