Chapter Text
“They entered a church on 51st and 10th,” you heard through your earpiece. Barnes, it sounded like. “In pursuit. Going to observe and not engage unless necessary,” he added.
You put your hand to your ear, listening to Steve copy Bucky, and decided to offer backup
“I'm a block away. I can meet Barnes as backup. You copy, Cap?” You were already moving silently up the street, as you slung your bow across you.
“Copy,” Steve replied. “Buck, you copy?”
There was a beat of silence. You waited to hear Bucky confirm Steve, but no response. You could feel a small spike of anxiety in your gut, but you also knew it wasn't completely unlike him to forget to communicate with the team. A side effect of being a silent assassin for decades, you suspected, but nonetheless picked up your pace a bit as you saw the building coming into view.
You approached the door with caution, staying silent and keeping low, assessing your surroundings for threats. The church was empty, dark, and silent, as far as you could tell. If the two masked men you had been tracking entered here, they had probably moved on. Taking a few more steps in the door, you heard some muffled voices and scuffing feet from above you. You turned toward the sound but quickly felt something whiz passed your ear and shatter on the wall behind you.
Instinct dropped you to the ground, ducking into one of the rows of benches and your eyes immediately searched the balcony for your attacker. You saw flashes of movement and then heard, rather than saw, doors being kicked open and then all the noise was gone.
You shifted, intending to stand again, but an arm shot out from under the bench at your back, grabbing your wrist and tugging you under the bench as well. Your hand shot to your nearest weapon and had a knife aimed at your unknown assailant in an instant, but a second hand was around that wrist just as fast. In a blur of tangled movements, you were on your back underneath the bench, one hand being pinned beneath you, and the other, the one holding your knife, pinned against the concrete beside your head. Your assailant’s body pressed yours against the floor, propped up on his forearms, his knees between your legs.
Recognition fought through the survival instinct flooding your senses, and you relaxed. But the man above you stayed firmly planted, brows furrowed in deadly concentration.
“Easy, Soldier,” you soothed, and you could see his expression ease as it hit him that you were not a threat.
Bucky's grip on you loosened and he pulled your arm out from behind your back. But he didn't make a move to let you leave and you realized he was concentrating on something.
“They're on the roof,” he said after a moment of silence. “I can hear them. They're moving to the next building.”
You felt him further relax his body above you as soon as he determined there was no longer an immediate threat. Still, he didn't make any move to let you up.
You stared up at his face, inches from yours, and you had a wicked thought. Before you could stop it, it was spilling over your lips
“You know, if you wanted to get me on my back, all you had to do was ask,” you remarked, a suggestive smirk tugging at the corners of your lips.
You had expected a laugh and a retort equal to your comment. But what you got instead, had your jaw falling open in surprise.
You saw his eyes immediately go a shade darker and he went rigid above you. You heard his breath catch, ever so slightly. The look you saw on his face sent a shiver up your spine and something that felt an awful lot like panic shot through your body.
The man pressing you into the floor was your closest friend. You were basically inseparable. But friends was where it ended. Neither of you had ever broached the subject of anything more. You were decidedly afraid to ruin what you had and both made an unspoken decision to keep whatever either of you felt to your respective selves.
Of course, you were entirely smitten with him and you knew it. But for fear that he would never feel the same, you continually shoved that feeling down and tried to pretend you could get over it. You knew without a doubt you would rather have him in your life as a friend than not have him at all.
But the man you saw above you now, the one burning his eyes into your soul, this was not the same one you watched sitcoms with on Sundays. This was not the same man who stole your ice cream when his bowl was empty and tossed you on to the couch to sleep it off when you drank too much. This was a side of him he kept carefully hidden from your view.
“Don't say things you don't mean, doll,” he warned in a deep, almost hoarse, tone.
You were suddenly very aware that he looked like he was trying to restrain himself and you couldn't even wrap your mind around the thought before your heart betrayed you.
“Bucky…” you said in a soft, breathy whisper.
An actual growl vibrated from his chest. You watched as he squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his face in so close to yours that you could taste his breath on your tongue.
“Say it again,” he all but commanded, midnight-blue eyes locked onto your own.
You felt your heart trying to straight up escape from your chest. Your breath caught in your throat and for a split second you thought you might pass out, but then your brain short-circuited, your heart now completely in the driver's seat, and you leaned forward as close to his ear as you could get and drawled, “... Bucky…”
Whatever invisible tether was holding him back snapped, and his mouth crashed into yours, so hard you thought you might bruise. You didn't think you'd ever been kissed that hard in your life and probably never would again. You felt months of pent up feelings pouring out of you and right into his mouth as he dove his tongue into yours. You felt everything, everywhere, all at once. You felt him.
Bucky pulled back just enough to disconnect from your lips and let you both gulp air back into your lungs. Then he was shifting to kiss along your jaw, down your neck, along the limited bit of your chest available to him, given the plunge of your tacsuit. His lips kept moving, back to the other side of your neck. He paused to suck on your pulse point and before you could hold it back, a moan escaped your lips.
You heard a groan and his hips bucked against yours, completely off their own accord. His hands grabbed onto your shoulders as he tried to keep himself grounded.
“Jeez, that sound,” he whined, bringing his forehead to rest against yours. “You have no idea what it does to me, how long I've wanted to be the reason you're making it.”
You quirked your lips up into a wry smile. “I mean, I have some idea. At least, I do now.”
He gave a quiet, dark chuckle, which you reciprocated and you felt it vibrate through both your bodies, making you very aware of his length pressing hard between your legs. You rocked your hips against him, slowly, dragging out the motion.
“Ahhh,” he hissed. You could see the struggle on his face as he tried to keep himself from grinding against you in return. “Baby, if you keep that up, I swear, you're gonna make me come.”
The thought that you could possibly have that kind of effect on him made you burn. Your hands twined around his neck pulling his lips back to yours. You managed to hook your left leg over his hip just enough to pull him flush to your body and began rocking your hips into his again.
Bucky all but yelled, grinding down hard against you. You felt your lips turn up in a real come-and-get-me grin, and he was only too happy to oblige. He dropped his forehead to yours once more and began rutting against you with abandon. He managed to move his arm down to hook under your thigh, squeezing hard and slowly sliding it up to brush against the curve of your ass.
Several low, strangled moans spilled out of you and he smiled.
“You’re close, aren't you, baby,” his low, gravelly voice drawled.
You let out a whimper as he continued his efforts to make you come.
“Yes, Buck, I'm close. God, I'm so close,” you whined in reply.
He lifted his head to watch you as you got closer and closer to coming undone. You swore he looked like he was in awe of what he was seeing, but you didn't have the ability to analyze that while he was fucking you senseless over your clothes.
You let out a decidedly loud moan followed by his name as a particularly hard, well angled thrust of his hips had you soaring off a cliff and your vision went blurry.
“Ah, damnit, baby, that sound, AH!” You heard him grunt and his hips got sloppy for a few moments before they stilled.
You both laid there, gasping for air. Foreheads resting together, letting the silence seep in.
In the back of your mind, a thoroughly terrified little voice was screaming that you had just crossed a line you couldn't go back over and you lost your best friend. But it wasn't loud enough just yet to cut through the afterglow. You managed to open your eyes again when he raised his head away from yours and you saw him staring at you. The look on his face stilled your heart, it was so full of affection… maybe even adoration, which you found confusing and possibly also exciting.
You moved a hand from the back of his neck and carded it through his hair. You watched as he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes, a quiet sigh leaving his lips. God, you liked the look on his face, liked getting this reaction from him. It felt so damn good.
“You came too, didn't you,” you said matter-of-fact-ly, running your other hand down to rest against his jaw.
“I warned you what would happen if you kept doing that, sweetheart,” he said, pulling a lopsided grin.
That grin made your heart stop and your hands in his hair stilled. He grinned wider, clearly pleased with the effect it was having, and turned his head just a little to place a slow, dragging kiss against your palm.
“Bucky,” you sighed, a shudder running through your body at the feel of his lips against your skin.
“Damn, baby, don't start that again, or I'm gonna lose it and rip your clothes off right here,” he said through gritted teeth.
You smiled up at him, about to reply, before a sickening thought hit you and you froze. He mirrored your reaction, his brow knitting in concern. He was suddenly very aware of what just happened and he was scared to death of what you might say next.
“What's wrong, sweetheart?” He asked quietly, his breath clearly catching, waiting for you to push him off and run.
You reached up and tapped right next to his ear, sheer panic on your face. He instantly understood. He cleared his throat and lifted a finger to his mouth, indicating you should stay silent. You nodded
“Uh… Steve? Do you copy?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even and controlled. He winced as a reply came back.
“Yeah… We copy, Buck…,” Steve replied, clearly hesitant. His voice held more than a little discomfort.
You screwed your eyes shut, wishing you could be swallowed by the floor beneath you. Poor, Steve. Poor everyone on the team who had a comm. You could feel every inch of you heating with embarrassment.
Bucky dropped his head a bit, his face twisting into a grimace. “Did you guys… were you all lis-”
“Don't panic, Barnes, I had Friday mute both of you,” a voice, Romanoff, cut him off before he had to finish that cringe-laden sentence.
You found yourself never having been more grateful for Natasha's intuition as you were at this moment.
“Yeah, not quick enough, though,” you heard Barton complain with a groan, but there was no real annoyance in his tone.
“Nat, when did you cut our comms?” You finally spoke up.
“Oh, she's alive. Good,” you heard Tony interject.
“Yeah, we were starting to wonder if he fucked you so hard, you passed out,” Sam chimed in with a cackle.
“Oh my God, Sam!” You cried.
“Hey, don't go blaming me! I wasn't the one who decided to get frisky-”
“Alright, I think that's enough,” Steve stepped in before things got any worse, and you were suddenly thankful his Captain American ass was still so old-fashioned.
“Let's all meet back for a debrief in two hours. Barnes, there's extraction for you both two blocks East. See everybody back at base,” Steve instructed before you heard comms click off.
“Well, better get back before Captain Rogers has our heads,” you said with a quiet laugh.
Bucky smiled and nodded in agreement, but didn't move. He was staring down at you, a look on his face you didn't quite recognize, but it made you feel warm inside. You smiled back at him.
“Buck.”
“Yeah?”
“You gonna, ya know, let me out?” You gave a little shrug of your shoulders to emphasize the point that he was still pinning you down.
He laughed and shook his head. “If it was up to me, then no, I wouldn't, but Steve's in charge.” Then he was planking above you to give you room to scoot out from under the bench. A moment later he scooted out as well and stood up in one fluid motion. He reached down and grabbed your arms pulling you to your feet, holding you in front of him for a moment, before he turned to start toward the door.
You felt a stab in your chest and reached out to grab his arm, making him pause. He turned back to you, his look questioning.
“I just gotta know what's going to happen from here,” you said in a quick jittery tone, feeling like you better get the words out before you lost all the nerve. “Because if you need me to forget that we just-”
“Dry humped under a bench in a church?” He offered with a wicked smile.
“Yes, jackass, that.” You rolled your eyes, but smiled. “If you need me to forget about it and just go back to the way things were, then I will. But I have to know if that's what you want.”
Bucky cocked his head, looking back at you. You could tell he was thinking and for a moment your heart sank into the subway tunnels below your feet. But he quickly straightened and leveled you with a serious look.
“Is that what you want?” He asked, his voice full of uncertainty and an unmistakable twinge of pain. His eyes looked just a little bit pleading.
“No,” you breathed, and for a moment you felt sick while you waited for him to respond.
“Good”, he replied before crashing his lips down on yours again, just like he had earlier, pouring all kinds of unfamiliar emotions into the kiss. When you broke apart, he brought his hand to your face and ran his thumb along your cheekbone. “Because I don't want that either.”
You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and felt your whole body relax. You were still shocked, but you felt like someone had taken a boulder off your chest.
“Come on. Let's not piss off Steve anymore than we already have.”
You gave a small laugh and nodded against his touch. He dropped his arm down and took your hand in his before turning again and leading you both out of the church. You walked the street in companionable silence for a bit, both of you knowing you were glad this had happened, but also nervous about where to go from here.
“I've wanted to do that for a really long time, you know,” Bucky spoke up, breaking the silence.
You turned your head to look at him as you walked. He looked completely calm, but you knew him better than that and you could read the small signs of anxiety that showed themselves, like the slight tick in his jaw or the way he swallowed and his Adam's apple bobbed a bit too much. You squeezed his hand in reassurance.
“So have I,” you echoed, giving him a warm smile.
“Then what took us so long?” He wondered aloud.
You shrugged. “Probably fear of rejection and losing what we had already found,” you offered in reply.
Bucky came to a stop and you did the same. He turned to face you, closing his eyes for a moment to gather himself.
“I'm sorry, sweetheart. I should've said something a long time ago instead of constantly biting my tongue, like a coward. I should have asked you on a proper date, shown you how much you mean to me instead of-”
“Dry humping me under a bench in a church?” You supplied, with a smirk.
Bucky laughed, a bright smile spreading on his face. He nodded.
“Yeah, doll, that,” he agreed, and before you knew what was happening, he hooked his arm around your waist and pulled you against him, placing a sweet kiss to your temple.
“You deserve better than that,” he whispered against your hair. He started walking you both forward again, but you turned to look up at him and you could see the pain in his face. You knew that look. He was disappointed in himself. That could lead to only one thing; a misguided belief that he was unworthy of you. If you didn't put a stop to it now, he would spiral and you could lose him before you even knew what you had.
“James Buchanan Barnes, stop that immediately,” you said in the calmest, firmest, most caring tone you could summon.
He turned to you, puzzled.
“I see the wheels turning. I know what you're thinking. I'm not going to let you sabotage this before we even know what it could be. You are not unworthy. I don't deserve better, or whatever other nonsense is running through your head, so just cut that shit out right now.”
You watched his expression go from confused, to a split second of indignant, to resigned, then finally landing on what you could only assume was amazed.
“Well, damn, baby,” he said, letting a cocky grin play across his face. It was obvious he knew you were right, but he also knew you just as well as you knew him.
“But I know you, doll, and I could tell you the same thing.” He squeezed you against his side. “How about we just let each other decide what we're worthy of and try not let our fears get in the way. Deal?” He asked.
“Deal,” you replied.
Bucky pulled you forward and you continued down the street in silence once more. You could see the black SUV at the end of the block.
You were abruptly halted by an object slamming into the brick just passed your heads and bouncing back the direction it came. Before you had a chance to react, Bucky yanked you into the adjacent alley, pushed you into the brick wall, and positioned himself in front of you protectively. He was too close for you to free your bow, so you grabbed the knife at your thigh and prepared for whatever was coming.
Seconds later, seemingly out of nowhere, a figure dropped to the ground in the alleyway, standing across from you. It was one of the masked figures that you and Bucky had followed into the church. He was in some kind of custom armor, red, a little bulky. He had some kind of holster at this thigh, likely for the sticks he was holding. His stance was defensive but not aggressive, ready for a flight but not looking to start one.
“I know you were following me earlier.” He stated.
“We got a tip about a disturbance with two masked fighters. We were investigating.” Bucky replied
“The man I was fighting- what does he want with you?” The red man asked.
You and Bucky exchanged a confused look. You were in your gear, his metal arm on full display, and your “A” symbol sat proudly on your pauldron… and he wondered why an armed man would attack you?
“Uh, cause he seems like a bad guy and he probably saw an opportunity to take a couple of Avengers off the board?” You answered, still a little puzzled.
You watched him closely as he seemed to process what you said. His head tilted, angling toward you, like he was listening. You watched him lift his head up a bit and… was he sniffing? Before you could think about just how odd it was, you heard him mumble something to himself, and then his stance relaxed. He holstered the sticks he was holding.
“That's a fair assessment,” the mystery man concurred. “But, if you want my advice, this guy is well below your pay grade. I can handle him. Your efforts are better spent on bigger issues.”
Bucky relaxed a bit as well, holstering his own weapon and stepping a bit forward to give you more space. But he kept you behind him, you noted, and kept his metal arm in front of you. You feel something bubbling up inside, an unpleasant emotion, but you set it aside. This was not the time.
“We appreciate that, but we'll leave that up to the Captain,” Bucky replied.
The man in red gave you a curt nod, and turned to leave.
“How can we reach you if we need to follow-up?” You asked.
He kept his back to you but turned his head over his shoulder in your direction.
“If you need me, I'll find you.” Then he was gone, scaling the alley wall like a lizard, and vanishing to the roof tops.
“Well that was interesting,” Bucky remarked as he stared up at where the man disappeared.
“This town has so many suits now. Can't even keep track of them all, I guess,” you concurred. “Hey, what did he say when he was mumbling to himself? Could you hear?”
“Vibranium,” Bucky replied. You looked at each other for a moment and shrugged, deciding to decipher it later.
The two of you headed back to the street and you didn't miss how Bucky wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close. He kept his eyes scanning your surroundings, more closely than before. You walked on for a moment before the nagging feeling in your stomach grew too strong and you stopped, forcing him to also come to a halt.
He turned to you, his brow furrowed.
“What is it, doll?”
You sighed and turned toward him, causing his arm to fall away, and he frowned, confused and maybe a little worried. You took a deep breath and leveled your gaze with his.
“You can't do that.” You stated firmly.
Bucky's furrowed brow deepened. He clearly didn't understand what you were talking about.
“What?... Put my arm around you?” He guessed, and you could see he was crestfallen at the idea that you didn't want that.
You threw your head back and laughed. He looked even more confused. You stepped forward and put a hand on each side of his face, looking him in the eye so he could see you were sincere.
“No, stupid boy!” You couldn't help but giggle. “You can put your arm around me as much as you want.” You saw him visibly relax and lean into your touch. You moved your hands from his face to rest on his upper arms and leveled with his gaze once more.
“But what you can't do is shove me behind you every time you see a threat and hover over me like a sheep dog.” You stated firmly.
You saw his jaw set and his eyes narrow a little. You could tell he wanted to respond and refute what you said, but he quickly thought better of it. Instead he lowered his head, looking a little defeated.
“I'm sorry,” he said. “I don't know what even happened. It was just instinct. I saw a threat and the next thing I know, I'm pushing you behind me.”
“Buck, we've been in situations with threats hundreds of times and you've never done that before. You know I can protect myself.”
“I know. It doesn't make sense.”
You sighed once more and placed a hand back to his face. You knew why he did it. You fought the urge to do the same thing every time you were in the field together. And there was a part of you that was just tickled over the idea that he felt this way about you.
“It does, Buck, I get it. I have to remind myself to let you do your job and trust you to take care of yourself every time we suit up. I get the instinct. But if you try to shield me from harm, then I can't do my job and one or both of us is going to end up hurt. Like just now, back in the alley. You pinned me between you and the wall. I couldn't even reach my bow. If there was a real threat, my reaction time would have been terrible.”
“You're right and I'm sorry,” he said again.
You watched him for a moment and then a knowing smile spread across your face.
“You said I was right and apologized all at the same time. I don't think that's happened before in known history,” you smirked up at him.
He laughed and kissed your forehead, turning to angle you back toward the SUV.
“Yeah, well, I don't know what came over me, but I wouldn't get used to it,” he teased.
A few moments later, you were at the vehicle. Agents got out of the front and met you.
“Sergeant Barnes, Agent YLN,” one of them greeted you and took your weapons and Bucky's tacvest, depositing them into the trunk.
The other agent opened the door and nodded at you both as you climbed into the back. He closed the door once Bucky was inside. Another moment and the car was moving.
Bucky leaned back against the seat. He reached across the bench to wrap his arm around you and pulled you back to him, slotting you against his side. You nestled into him, breathing in his scent which always reminded you of pine and sage and just him.
“We should still have about an hour before debrief, once we get back,” he said, absently running his hand up and down your side.
You smiled against his chest where your head was resting.
“And do you have a suggestion for what to do with our time?”
You tilted your head up to see that he was looking down at you with a mischievous grin. You smiled back, waiting patiently for whatever likely suggestive things he proposed.
“I was thinking we should probably shower, ya know, before we have to sit through a debrief. Don't know about you, but I could definitely use one,” he chuckled and gave you a pointed look.
You laughed a little, then gave him a look through your lashes that you assumed would raise his pulse a bit.
“That sounds like a plan, Soldier,” you replied. You slid yourself down and adjusted your legs across the bench. You settled your head on his lap, draping your arm over the edge of the bench and running it up and down his leg.
“For now,” you said through a muffled yawn, “I'm going to take a nap until we get home.”
Bucky brushed the hair out of your face and smiled when you hummed at his touch. “Alright, baby, you sleep,” he bent over and kissed your head and you were out.