Work Text:
“This is ridiculous.” Theo huffs out as Eloise buttons up the livery, her nimble fingers doing as good a job of dressing him as they do with undressing. Theo would much rather if she were doing the later and the thought of that alone manages to distract him from his inevitable doom immediately, stupid smile successfully finding its way on his lips before he can help it.
Sharp smack behind the ears snaps him back to the present, banishing his daydreams, Eloise's smug grin an evidence of her correctly guessing where his mind has strayed. All the reason and worries momentarily thrown out of the window, Theo doesn't hesitate to take the opportunity and kiss that smirk right off Eloise's lips. And Eloise does very little to discourage him, her fingers forgetting their task in an instant and finding a new purpose in Theo's hair, bringing him closer and closer still, tugging on the unruly strands just right to make Theo go weak in the knees.
For two knuckleheads barely knowing what a kiss was just couple months ago, they definitely put on quite a display at every opportunity. At least that is what John has been saying, having the misfortune to walk in on them at various occasions (and various stages of lewd).
The thought of their friend is what stops them before they can completely lose the rest of their inhibitions, in Bridgerton house stables of all places. Disappointed but determined, they separate and Eloise goes back to fiddling with the buttons on the vest, smoothing the invisible wrinkles on Theo's chest when she's done. Her hands linger much longer than needed (not that Theo is complaining) before reaching for the coat and holding it open so Theo can slip into it easily. With a deep sigh, he does, obediently turning and stuffing his arms into the sleeves. The length is alright, but the garment is a bit too snug across his back, making him worry he will rip a seam with a first movement. But before he can voice another protest, Eloise is already placing the white wig on his head, pushing his natural hair underneath. Another minute or two of fussing before she's finally happy with her work. Or maybe not, for the moment she takes a step back to have a look at her masterpiece, she bursts into another round of giggles. Theo just rolls his eyes.
“If you're going to laugh every time you see me, it will never work.” He grumbles, pointedly not looking at her, trying to tug the edges on the coat lower to at least give an illusion that it belongs to him. One more forceful pull and he has a feeling that his nightmare is already becoming reality, the distinct sound of threads ripping making a shiver run over his back. With a desperate look, he forgets his annoyance for a second and wordlessly asks Eloise to check if he made a hole anywhere. She takes her time with checking him out, before assuring him that there are no visible rips in the garment. She continues with a slight tease, if to calm him down or rile him up, Theo cannot safely say.
“You forget that true lady never gives those serving her a second glance.” She stands close, basically leaning into him, her hands holding onto the edges of his jacket. She could still be closer though and Theo happily goes on with exploring just how close they can get like this. Drawing her into his arms, their chest now pressed together, Eloise's hands trapped between their bodies. Theo suddenly feels very carefree.
“All this pageantry and you aren't even going to ogle me?” He murmurs, playing hurt, his voice betraying him with every syllable. He thinks that the smile Eloise gives him should be criminal with how insinuative it is. And then he cannot think at all, all thoughts evaporating from his head and only pure bliss remaining as Eloise downright purrs into his ear and then proceeds to kiss the daylights out of him:
“You also forget I'm not a proper lady.” She demonstrates her words thoroughly. And then she demonstrates them some more and Theo feels that should this day end in disaster, this will still make it more than worth it.
They separate only when some bang from inside of the house startles them. Jumping apart, both are scrambling to put themselves to rights, Eloise to the hated facade of a sheltered daughter of the noble family and Theo to the role of her faithful footman, a place borrowed from John for one afternoon to help him safely escape and undertake the job interview for a clerk at Bank of England.
Really, the things they do for this man.
John wanted to keep his aspirations a secret, not willing to risk his position at the Bridgerton house for a dream of becoming something else than a servant. While Eloise is rather sure that Anthony would give his permission and allow John to take an unscheduled half-day off to go to the interview, she has to concede that their butler – while not able to prevent it – would happily make John's life miserable in retaliation, bullying him endlessly until he quits, no matter if he got the other job or not.
(Mr. Swanson is very much a man of duty, holding the whole concept of servitude to noble family in a great esteem. He does not look fondly on those who dare to dream of a life outside the confines the walls of Bridgerton house provide – whether they reside upstairs or downstairs. Eloise would know that first hand, having find herself at the receiving end of the man's disapproving stare more than once.)
All that taken into consideration, when John finally has a palpable chance to further his life towards what he wants, both Eloise and Theo readily promise to help.
Playing sick is out of the question, not with the epidemic of whooping cough sweeping the city – it would only cause panic and ensure a doctor visit to the house, foiling John's plans of escape in different way. So deception it had to be. A game of charades, a drama of Shakespearean proportions, full of disguises and intrigue.
Eloise kept escaping her own duties belonging to her from the position of the still unmarried daughter of the house more than usual during last week. Donning an apron over her silk dresses, she keeps helping Theo around the print shop as much as she can, so he would get ahead with his own workload and be able to play his part. That part being taking his half-day off and promising to spend it at Bridgerton house, carefully dolled-up in John's uniform, trying to not give the game away in the first five minutes by spilling the tea on anyone and staring at Eloise constantly.
And John – also in a get-up that has been largely borrowed – heads to the Threadneedle Street, Eloise's glowing yet vague letter of recommendation in his pocket and mulling over everything he knows, over all the practise rounds of conversation Eloise happily drilled into him, trying to remember anything he ever read about finances that could possibly help him in his endeavour as well as his manners and polite conduct.
Eloise is rather confident it will all work out as they bid him goodbye. She thinks her friend is simply brilliant and anyone should be happy to have him work for them. And while Theo is rather inclined to agree with her on this point, he is not so sure about the rest of it. The rest he is directly entangled in.
Curiously, they are both sort of right at the end of the day.
Thing is, despite their best intentions, despite all the planning they do, there is one thing neither Eloise or Theo anticipate. It's not other servants and them possibly tattling to Mr. Swanson or anyone else. It's not Eloise's mother, commenting on “John's” sudden clumsiness without ever noticing that the man under the wig is not in fact her employee. It's not even Greg's or Hyacinth's raised eyebrows when realising that they are being served by a complete stranger and that their sister is absolutely aware of the fact. (After all, their loose tongues are easily kept behind their teeth with a promise of Eloise's pin money.) No other family members are conveniently in the house, presenting any danger as well.
No. The thing that proves to be the most detrimental to the whole plan is simply the fact that being under one roof, in the same room even, so tantalizingly close and yet not be able to even touch hands, drives both Theo and Eloise absolutely crazy.
And because they have rather poor self-control when it comes to expressing the affection they hold for one another, they give into their yearning at every opportunity they get, playing with fire that entire afternoon.
Every time Theo leaves the drawing room with the tea tray precariously balancing in his hands, Eloise suddenly urgently needs to fetch something from her room. As soon his feet leave the drawing room's floor, Eloise is jumping up on hers and rushing after him, half-baked excuse on her lips. And then in a hall, the tray finds its way onto the nearest flat surface and Eloise giggles happily as Theo backs her into a linen closet or a cupboard. Or just barely out of sight, hiding behind the main staircase.
Which, of course, is exactly where they are caught, scandalously wrapped together, so absorbed by the kisses they exchange that the person coming across them needs to clear their throat three times before they are noticed. Thankfully, that person is Benedict, coming home early and – mercifully – alone, no other siblings trailing at his heels. And since her brother has been caught in the exactly same position couple of times himself, he is not prone to judgement. That however doesn't mean he has nothing to say at all either.
“Are you canoodling with a footman?” Eloise's brother asks when finally securing their attention. His tone is even, conversational, seemingly unperturbed. Eloise can feel Theo's arm, still holding onto her hip, twitch. He doesn't take it off though and while Ben's question has undoubtedly been directed at her, it is Theo who manages to respond.
“I'm not a footman.” Admittedly, that might not be the most pressing thing to clear up in this situation, at least in Eloise's opinion, but since her own tongue is still peculiarly heavy, she is glad and actually rather proud that Theo succeed to say anything.
“You're not?” Ben drawls, amusement already peeking from behind his knowing grin. Eloise doesn't know what it is that her brother assumes to know, but whatever he doesn't, she and Theo quickly tell him anyway, explaining the whole anabasis. Everything from Theo's real occupation to John's hopes of getting a new one, taking it through the brief confirmation that, yes, what Benedict just witnessed is in fact exactly as it seems and no, they are absolutely not giving that up.
There is a sound of bell coming from the drawing room, rather startling reminder of how close to actual disaster they are. Her mother will have to send Hyacinth to fetch the biscuits though, Eloise thinks, for there is no chance in hell she is sending Theo back there now. Not when Benedict gives them one more meaningful look, this one in fact a bit concerned despite obviously still considering all of this the most hilarious thing to ever happen in these walls.
“And you think that any of this is going to make Anthony any more sane when he finds out?” Her brother gestures between her and Theo, pointing to their hips still pressed together, hands holding onto each other shamelessly. He might agree that Anthony could be open to the possibility of losing a servant and even find the fact that Eloise was helping with it – if not admirable, than at least – remarkable. However, their brother will most definitely not react well when confronted with the choice of Eloise's partner in crime, so to speak. And even the former notion takes a harsh blow only seconds later when Eloise, in the suddenly unstoppable stream of honesty, admits to taking her involvement in John's future just a step further after all:
“I also took one of his walking suits and gave it to John so he would have something nice to wear for the interview.” Theo kisses the side of her head in response. Benedict just stares at her for a moment, then sighs deeply and shakes his head.
“Just start running now.” He says, already turning away and heading up the stairs, his original intent before he was distracted by a sight of his little sister defiling a footman. (Because that is what it looked like to him and the true identity of the man changes nothing of Ben's perception.)
“Where are you going?” Benedict hears Eloise's slightly panicked call after him. He can only chuckle. Oh, he will protect these two idiots and their adventurous friend as well. But that doesn't mean he won't make them suffer first.
“To hide Ant's guns!”