Work Text:
A Knife to the Heart
Alone—without Callie, without Jeff, without friends, without anyone who loved her—Shauna drowned herself in alcohol. As she kept drinking, something caught her eye tucked beneath the fridge. When she got closer, she realized it was Melissa’s missing letter. She read it and, with a bitter laugh, thought:
“If Melissa’s doing so great with her wife and family, why did she have to come back to me? Why now, of all times?”
Her anger flared as she reached the part about Melissa forgiving herself for what happened.
She couldn’t believe it. Who did Melissa think she was to come back now? To tell her what to do? Who the hell did she think she was? Melissa was nothing.
Shauna tore the letter to pieces, burned it, and furiously took out her journal. She started writing that she didn’t regret anything that happened in the wilderness. She did what no one else had the courage to do. And now? They were all hypocrites, pretending she was the only one to blame.
But the only one who didn’t blame her was Melissa. Melissa, who had always cared for her. Who always worried about her. Whose heart she broke three times: once when she humiliated her, again when they met after the wilderness, and finally when she ran into Jeff’s arms. And still, compassionate Melissa wanted her to forgive herself—because she had already forgiven her.
“Idiot,” Shauna whispered.
Drunk, angry, and crushed by loneliness, she thought of everyone she had hurt, everyone she had betrayed.
I ruined everything. I don’t deserve compassion. My life is like this because of me.
Shauna passed out.
She woke the next morning disoriented, her head pounding. From the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow move from the bedroom to the living room.
Silently, she searched for something to defend herself with and found a knife in her drawer. She stood up and hid behind the doorframe.
Am I going crazy… or is someone actually here? For a moment, she thought it might be Callie—or even pathetic Jeff.
“Callie? Are you here?”
No answer.
Am I imagining this? Still drunk? Or maybe it’s Tai and Misty coming to kill me?
Shauna stepped into the living room and froze. A cup of tea and a steaming bowl of soup sat on the table.
“Okay, I’m definitely going crazy.”
She looked around—nothing. No one.
She sat down and leaned in to smell the soup, when she noticed a hat on the kitchen counter.
“Shit… It’s not Jeff. Not Callie. Not Tai or Misty. It’s Melissa… Did she come to kill me?”
Melissa appeared behind her, stepping into the living room.
“Hey, relax. You can put the knife down. No need to repeat what happened at my house.”
Shauna, suspicious but stunned by Melissa’s calm, began to speak—but Melissa cut her off.
“You don’t remember, do you?”
Shauna raised an eyebrow, unsure if Melissa had lost her mind—or if she had.
“You called me last night. Actually, like ten times. Left a bunch of voicemails.”
“You’re lying,” Shauna muttered.
Melissa laughed.
“I didn’t think you’d think of me when you were drunk. Your subconscious had a lot to say in those messages.”
Shauna buried her face in her hands and reached for her phone. Melissa handed it over. Shauna checked her call log—and there they were. All the calls.
Melissa, seeing Shauna’s confusion, said:
“I came to see you. I helped you to bed and stayed. I made you soup and tea for your hangover.”
Shauna stared at her, disbelieving. Why? Why did Melissa always come back? After everything Shauna had done to her—even tried to kill her, destroy her new life—Melissa still came back.
“Why?” Shauna asked. “Why do you always do this?”
Melissa went quiet, then said:
“Because you always questioned it. Everything I did for you out there, you questioned. You never believed I loved you. And now you have the nerve to ask if I still do?”
Shauna stayed silent.
Every kiss, every act of kindness, every silent moment of care from the wilderness rushed back to her. She remembered how she humiliated Melissa, hurt her, shattered her. How foolish she had been to think Melissa might still love her.
But here she was. Again.
“Why did you come?” she whispered.
Melissa, dryly: “You called. You sounded like hell. You said Jeff and Callie left. I didn’t know how you were going to deal with that. Besides… you destroyed my home. I’ve got nowhere else to go. I doubt my wife—well, ex-wife—wants to see me.”
She gestured to the food. “Soup’s getting cold.”
Shauna hesitated; still paranoid Melissa had poisoned it. But she ate while Melissa watched with quiet pity.
How could she look at her like that—after everything Shauna had ruined?
But Melissa knew: Shauna didn’t deserve to carry that weight alone.
When Shauna finished, Melissa moved the knife away from her and said:
“I told you to forgive yourself because none of it was only your fault. We were all part of what happened. We were just kids. Teenagers. If I don’t blame you, why should anyone else? We each have to make peace with how we survived—back then and now.”
Shauna stayed silent, holding back tears.
Melissa knelt beside her and took the knife from her hands. Shauna closed her eyes, bracing for the end she had expected for years. Like the time Melissa had tried to suffocate her —now it would become real, and finally, Melissa would put an end to all the pain.
But no.
Melissa placed the knife back in Shauna’s hand and looked her in the eyes.
“If you can’t forgive yourself but still need to blame someone… then blame me.”
Shauna shook her head.
“You can end it all right now. Blame me for everything.”
A single tear fell down Shauna’s cheek. She shook her head again.
Melissa brought the knife to her own chest.
“It’s easy. Don’t think. I’m here. The one you always hated… You didn’t love me, and that’s okay. But stop blaming yourself. Stop questioning my love. It’s me.”
Shauna screamed: “Stop! Shut up! Stop saying that!”
Melissa, startled: “Stop blaming myself?”
“No! Stop saying I hated you!” Shauna cried. “I never stopped loving you. I always regretted everything I did—especially what I did to you. You were the only one who truly loved me. You cared. You protected me. You stood by me even when I pushed you away—when I didn’t even know who I was or what I was doing.”
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Why would you send me a letter telling me to forgive myself when I can’t even ask you for it?”
Melissa gently took her hands. “You don’t have to.”
But Shauna pulled away, stood, and began pacing.
“Do you think I don’t know what I did? I humiliated you. I screamed at you. I shot you. I pretended not to love you. And when you stopped talking to me… stopped sleeping near me in our hut… I thought about you every night. I did everything to annoy you, just so you'd talk to me. I did everything to irritate you because it killed me not having you by my side. When you tried to kill me—I wanted you to. I deserved it. You were the only one who had the right to do it. And you didn’t. And I judged you for that, too.”
“But I couldn’t even do it myself—then or now. And days later, you came back. You forgave me. You stood by me. And I hurt you again.”
Melissa sat, listening to Shauna—pacing, breaking, unraveling everything she had carried alone for years.
"But I was always worried about you. My pride wouldn’t let me get close, because I wanted you to hate me. I wanted to have the power. If you had loved me, I wouldn’t have been able to hold myself together—I’d be too afraid of you getting hurt. Afraid you would get the Queen of Hearts… and then they’d come for you.
Do you know how many times I pretended to be indifferent when a decision could have hurt you? But I always looked out for you, in my own way. I thought if I pushed you away, you’d be safer. That others would take care of you. Because I knew everyone hated me. They blamed me. But none of them were capable of making the decisions I made.
Then, when we were about to return home… you were the first one who helped me pack. You were the only one who talked to me on the plane. You sat next to me, tried to comfort me, to care for me when everything supposedly went 'back to normal'... even though nothing ever did."
Shauna voice trembling:
"And when we arrived, I distanced myself from everyone. You looked for me. You tried to find me at the supermarket, or anywhere you could. And I ignored you.
Then… you came to my house. For some reason, my mom let you in. You found me in my room, vulnerable, crying. You ran to me and hugged me—and I let you. I was vulnerable for hours, and you stayed, comforting me. Then you took my face in your hands and kissed me. I kissed you like never before.
You touched my waist, whispered my name over and over. You took off my shirt, guided me to my bed. You pushed me gently, got on top of me. You made love to me, again and again. And afterward, I asked you to stay. I asked you to hold me.
That night, I thought… maybe we could start something. I imagined a future. A family. I pictured you achieving your dreams, being together. And the worst part? The next day, I almost called you. I thought about starting over. Giving us a real chance.”
Shauna whispers: “But instead, I ran to Jeff.”
Melissa smiling sadly: “And now Jeff’s gone. He had his reasons... but don’t blame yourself entirely. You’ll talk eventually. And I don’t think he’s as innocent as everyone thinks. Remember—he tried to scam you, he exposed you, did things to hurt you.”
Melissa steps closer and takes Shauna’s hand.
“Shauna, no one blames you. Not even me. I… forgave you.”
Shauna tries to pull away, but Melissa holds her.
Shauna: “But I don’t understand. I was cruel to you… even when you loved me. I broke your heart—worse than when that arrow pierced your body. The wound I left was deeper.”
Melissa gently touches Shauna’s face and hugs her. Shauna, unsure at first, leaves her arms hanging. But then she collapses into Melissa’s embrace.
They cry in silence, and Melissa whispers.
Melissa: "Do you remember when I approached you slowly during labor? I got closer because I admired you. You were brave. You were in worse shape than the others—but you didn’t give up.
I’ll admit it: I already liked you. Actually, I liked you even before the accident. I saw you at school, walking the halls, talking to everyone, participating like a know-it-all. Running through the field like you were invincible.
But out there—in the wilderness—I liked you even more. Because I saw who you really were. You fought for everything. For your baby. For your survival. For all of us.
When the baby died, I stayed by your side because I cared. You were strong. You didn’t look back. You kept feeding us, doing the hard work no one else wanted. I admired you deeply.
And that admiration slowly turned into love. Bit by bit, you started looking at me differently. You started needing me. You said my name. You wanted me around.
Even when I crossed the line and left flowers on your baby’s grave… your first instinct was to defend him. You weren’t thinking about yourself. You always thought of others. You never put yourself first.
Then I kissed you. And you kissed me back like you meant it. Like you cared. Like you loved me. You protected me around the others. You wanted me nearby. You got curious about me.
For me, that meant everything. Just being close to you. Holding your hand in secret. Going on walks and ending up kissing each other.
When you accepted my support, when you smiled because I defended you—that was real. I accepted you. I loved you. And I felt that you loved me too.
You helped me accept myself. You gave me the courage to be brave, to grow, to love and live like you. That was one of the greatest gifts you ever gave me.
I knew you were grieving. I knew you’d lost friends, your future, your light. But still… you chose me. I was your first girlfriend. And you… I know I was yours.
I saw how vulnerable you were. How you overthought everything. How you acted strong in front of others—but with me, you were different.
Sure, we did unimaginable things. But we protected each other.
Little by little… it became love. Not just two girls kissing. It was you and me. You let me into your world. Into your hut. That first time we made love… it was just us.”
Melissa laughs softly.
“Well, all the times we made love... you showed me who you really were. Slowly, it wasn’t just us sleeping in our ‘bed,’ there was something more than intimacy. It wasn’t just physical. You hugged me. Kissed me. Let me do the same. You let me start conversations. Ask questions. You showed you cared.
Even in the worst moments… you were there. Maybe not in the way others wanted, but you protected me. You didn’t trust Hannah or the others—and I didn’t either. You saw what they were doing. You knew they were attacking you. You just wanted to keep us safe.
Sure, there were tough times. You yelled at me. Humiliated me. You shot me. None of that was right, and yes, I was angry. But deep down, I understood you. I saw the truth in you.
At night, before going into your hut, you'd glance my way—like you were silently asking me to come in and sleep with you.
When we agreed to hunt again, that was our plan. Mine and the girls. We were desperate for rescue. You hesitated. You looked at me. You didn’t want to do it. Unfortunately, Mari died in the pit, but that wasn’t your fault.
Shauna... I even tried to kill you. And when I didn’t, you could’ve killed me in return. But you didn’t.
That night, when everyone else slept… you waited for me. No words. No insults. Just waited. I came to you. We made love. You hugged me like you never wanted to let go.
That became our routine—weeks of it, hidden in your hut. Kissing after hunts. Holding each other through the night. Talking at dawn, just us.
The girls never suspected. They thought I hated you. Thought you were the monster.”
Melissa laughs again, a little sadder.
“But I always came back to you. Because I wanted you to be okay. And even if you couldn’t say it, I understood your love language.
I know that for many years, and even now, you aren’t able to forgive yourself. But I understood that you were asking for forgiveness when you took care of me.
You asked for forgiveness not with words—but by protecting me. Giving me the best meat. Assigning me chores just so we could be together. Pretending to hate me so the girls wouldn’t turn on me. You always looked out for me.
I know you messed up. I did too. We both did. But so did they.
Everything you did for me—the kisses, the glances, the small gestures—made me fall in love. You made me believe we had a love story.
I loved you for you. I never wanted you to be anyone else. I recognized you.
And yes—I lied last week. During that fight at my house, when I said I never loved you... I lied.
Shauna, I’ve always loved you.
What you did hurt me. I won’t deny that. Even when we came back, and you pushed everyone away. I hoped you’d give me a chance. But you were lost. You abandoned your goals. Your pain took over.
What we went through was traumatic. Of course, life would never be the same.”
“But I know that if you had let me be there for you, like I was back then… you'd be more at peace. I like to think you'd be happy—that maybe I could have spared you some of the suffering. Because through all these years… I never forgot you. I loved you. I tried to hate you. Tried to hold a grudge… but it never lasted, not even a year. The memories always came back. The bad ones, yes—but mostly the good.
And I realized you were still the most beautiful, confident, brave… and complicated person I’d ever known. It was you. There was nothing to change.
But when… I saw you run into Jeff’s arms. After spending that night with me.
And I understood—you were escaping. From everything that reminded you of us, of the wilderness. And who better to run to than a heterosexual relationship?
They both laughed.
Melissa continued caressing her hands, then moved to her waist.
“I don’t want you to regret it,” she said softly. “I don’t want you to apologize. I don’t want you to forget everything that happened… especially not us. Because forgetting would be denying everything that brought us together, everything that changed us.”
She paused. “But I do ask that you forgive yourself. None of this was your fault. We could name at least five people or things more to blame for what happened, from plane failure, pilots, the weather. The rest… we were just surviving.”
Shauna looked at Melissa with the same gaze she had the night she cut the coach’s Achilles tendon. A look of passion, seriousness… and acceptance. A look that said: I know who you are. And I know who I am.
But she couldn’t help but say it:
“Forgive me,” Shauna whispered.
Melissa tried to stop her, but Shauna leaned in again.
“Forgive me… because I know what I did. What I said. And you didn’t deserve any of it.”
Melissa shook her head.
“No,” she said. “Because even if you didn’t say it then, your eyes did. When you secretly looked for me. When you waited for me outside our hut. When you held me at night... That was your apology.”
Shauna pressed on. “Yes, but… what about when I chose Jeff? When—”
Melissa cut her off with a firm “No.” Again. And again.
“Shauna, you had every right to rebuild your life however you needed to. I wasn’t entitled to be a part of it. It’s over, it’s all been…”
Shauna kept shaking her head.
“That night after we got back,” she said, “all the exams, the press, the families... that night you came to see me—I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t think you’d still want me.
Everyone was blaming me. I blamed myself. And yes, I’ll admit it: I wanted to be with someone who didn’t remind me of the past. Of the wilderness. I wanted a quiet, simple, boring life. One that wouldn’t make people ask questions.”
Melissa nodded slowly.
“Shauna, it’s been twenty years. I don’t blame you. I did the same thing. I faked my death. I started over. I tried to erase everything… Because I couldn’t live a life without you in it.
Because I wanted to see if you still cared. If you’d come to my funeral. If you’d visit the cemetery. Yes dramatic. But I was trying to survive without you.
And I never could. You never left my heart. And I know I never left yours.
Because in those calls last night, it wasn’t just drunk rambling. You said things I never thought I’d hear.”
Shauna blushed. The memories flooded in. The first call:
“Hello, Melissa. Thanks for ruining my life.”
Next one:
“Hello, Melissa. I’m alone. Everyone hates me. I just wanted you to know—you won.”
And the missed calls kept piling up…
Until Shauna broke.
For the first time in years, she said:
“Melissa, forgive me. Because I didn’t know how to love you properly. I loved you so much that it scared me. So, I pushed you away. And you—you didn’t take that as an answer.
You fought for me. You carved space for yourself in my life. And I hurt you. I didn’t appreciate you. But I regretted it every night. I hated myself for it. I live with that regret.”
A pause. A trembling breath.
“These voice messages only last a minute… But Melissa, you don’t have to come back into my life. I just needed you to know that I’m sorry. For ruining you.”
Melissa laughed gently, listening to the recordings.
Shauna slowly approached Melissa and said, “My subconscious and my drunkenness spoke with complete sincerity. I won’t deny anything I said.”
Melissa, still laughing softly, reached into her back pocket. She pulled out the sheath of the knife she had crafted for Shauna many years ago—and handed it to her.
Shauna traced her fingers over the leather, then slid her knife into it. A gift without expectation. A token of love. A symbol of how Melissa had always accepted her—seen her, known her, stood by her.
Her eyes brimmed with regret as she looked up at Melissa. Melissa stepped forward and gently caressed her face. Without another word, Shauna leaned in and kissed her—slowly.
They began to speak in kisses. Shauna let herself be loved. Her hands moved gently over Melissa’s skin. Melissa kissed her neck, and for the first time in years, Shauna felt desired. With tender reverence, Melissa traced her lips along Shauna’s collarbone. Little by little, they undressed—between tears, laughter, and quiet honesty—until Shauna led her to the bedroom.
They continued kissing, shedding the last of their clothes... and deepened their love. Shauna let Melissa take the lead—to show how much she loved her; to remind her it wasn’t too late to love again.
So many years had passed, yet they felt like teenagers again—nervous, shy, open, electric.
For years, Shauna had longed to feel loved. As an adult, she had done what society told her was right. But as a teen, she had done whatever it took to survive—regardless of the rules. And through all of it, one person had never stopped loving her. Melissa.
Melissa had never judged her. She had accepted her. Respected her. Forgiven her. Loved her.
And now, at last, Shauna allowed herself to believe it.
She stopped thinking. Stopped living in the pain of the past. Just as she had in the wilderness, she remembered how to survive—one day at a time. And though she still regretted what she’d done, though Jeff still haunted her in some ways, she knew this much: for now, she could move forward. With the person she truly loved.
Tomorrow would come, but that night, only the present mattered. The present, embraced by Melissa, feeling that at last she could be herself, without fear, without reservations, without doubts.
With every kiss, with every touch, Shauna understood that love is never truly lost. Sometimes, it just takes time to find each other again. And in this moment, in Melissa's arms, everything that had been painful, everything that had been difficult, vanished as if it had never existed. It was just them, in their love, in their truth. And for the first time in a long time, Shauna felt that maybe, she could begin to live again.
"I love you," Shauna whispered, her eyes full of emotion.
"I love you too," Melissa replied, caressing her face, her soul, with the tenderness she always had. "And I will never stop loving you."
The silence between them was not empty. It was filled with promises, shared memories, hopes. And together, without words, they decided they needed nothing more. Only their love. Only them, embraced by the eternity of this moment, so deep, so real, that nothing and no one could ever separate them.