Actions

Work Header

Beware the Straw Man!

Summary:

Jack and Elsa don’t think anything bad can come from hanging up an old scarecrow painting. Little do they know that anything’s possible at Bloodstone Manor.

Notes:

A few years ago, I bought a copy of The League of Regrettable Superheroes (The author’s name escapes me), a book that talked about various comic book characters who were given very short original runs for a number of reasons. The one that stood out to me the most was a Marvel character from the 70s called the Straw Man (or sometimes The Scarecrow). He was an entity that resembled a scarecrow who lived in a haunted painting and would occasionally come out to terrorize criminals in a variety of ways. Unfortunately, he had a very short run due to his similarities to Batman’s Scarecrow. But after reading his entry, my brain said, “This would be such a cool character for Jack and Elsa to meet.” So here’s my attempt to MCU-ify him!

I know he’s technically a good guy, but he will be an antagonist in this story. So think of him as one of those characters that starts out as a villain but becomes a hero after this adventure.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Elsa Bloodstone never realized just how much junk her father truly had.

She’d grown up seeing the various artifacts around the manor. It was hard to ignore. Everywhere she looked, there was some new monster head mounted on the wall or a “cursed” treasure sealed away into a glass cabinet that she was warned never to open or else unspeakable harm would come to her and the entire family. Her childhood home was a living museum. It was the one part of it she had actually liked. So it pleased Elsa to know that, now she was the sole heir to Bloodstone Manor, every single treasure it held inside was hers now.

At first, she briefly considered converting the property into a true monster museum. There was no point in her holding onto all of it thanks to monster hunting keeping her out of the house most of the time. She was just happy to have some control of her life and family name now. However, that was all before she had found a reason to stay.

To say Elsa was thrilled when Jack Russell announced that he wanted to move in was an understatement. She was forever grateful to the werewolf that had saved her life and admittedly won her heart. Who was she to deny him a permanent place to stay? But with a new tenant moving in, that meant more junk to clutter up the manor.

So it was with a heavy heart that Elsa trekked down into the dungeon-like cellar and forced herself to decide which of her father’s treasures she could get rid of. Most of it had no purpose being at the manor. She could easily donate them to a true museum or bring them back to their rightful owners. It was just a matter of turning to her father’s inventory logs to determine which could be which. And after sorting through the various soul-trapping vases or animated jewelry littering the dusty floors, she spotted one item in particular that held some merit to it. The sight of it alone warranted its case at making Bloodstone Manor its home.

It was how Elsa found herself pushing a towering golden picture frame covered by a black cloth up the stairs. Jack had turned the corner just as she revealed herself at the top step, and he ran over to pick up the other side.

He lifted up the frame and poked his head around the side to offer a cheeky grin. “Need some help there?”

Elsa huffed at the lessened weight in her grip, allowing herself to free one arm and brush a strand of hair out of her face. “I really needed it twenty minutes ago, love, but sure. I’ll take it now.” She waved her arm towards the parlor at the end of the hall. “Bring it inside.”

Jack turned himself around so he walked backwards, leading the frame down the hallway. “Finally cleaning out downstairs?”

“Yeah.” Elsa grunted as she readjusted her position. “I think I managed to clear out some space for your stuff, but I did find something to help with the redecorating up here. Although, I’ll probably have to bring someone in to touch it up now thanks to scraping the frame from dragging it up the stairs by myself.”

Elsa’s raised brow wasn’t lost on Jack. “Hey, you were the one that didn’t ask for my help.”

“I didn’t know where you were!”

“That doesn’t matter, mi angél . I can hear you from miles away probably. Just say the word, and I’ll always come to you.”

Elsa quickly turned to hide her face behind the frame so he wouldn’t see her blush. If she had known hearing things like that would be her new normal, she would have asked Jack to move in on the night they met.

The two stepped into the parlor and turned to the left, bringing themselves over to a now empty patch of the wall. When Ulysses was alive, it was where the head of a fallen werewolf had once hung for all to admire. That was the first artifact Elsa had gotten rid of. Hopefully, this new one would be a worthy replacement.

“Over here?” Jack asked.

Elsa nodded. “Yeah, perfect.”

When they reached the spot, they gently set the frame down onto the floor with a quiet thud . They stepped back and each let out a sigh, wiping the sweat from their foreheads.

Picking up the black cloth, Jack asked, “So what is this anyway?”

“Just you wait, love. Feast your eyes on this.”

Elsa pulled on her side of the cloth and tugged it off, revealing the treasure in all of its glory.

Jack found himself staring at an oil painting of a scarecrow, but the figure wasn’t standing in his usual field. He was almost animated instead, as his body was frozen in a pose of leaping through the night sky. A signature brown pointed hat adorned his head that left tufts of straw hair poking out from underneath. He seemed to resemble any other scarecrow with his long green jacket, brown pants, and brown scarf tied around his neck. But it was his eyes that were haunting Jack the most.

There was a faint red glow to them that he swore twinkled when he moved from side to side. His mouth was also open in a wicked grin not unlike a jack o’lantern’s. It was enough to make him shudder and sneer at the sight.

Jack took a step back as Elsa joined his side, unable to fight back her own proud grin.

Crossing her arms, she asked, “So what do you think?”

“If I’m being honest? I think it’s going to keep me up tonight.”

“Excellent. That’s the idea. I thought it would be a good warning for intruders to watch out if they even think about trying to mess with us.”

Jack scoffed. “I think Ted does that just fine.”

Elsa rolled her eyes. “Well, this is for the crafty bastards who get past Ted. He’s only one monster, after all.”

Jack quirked his lip with a reluctant shrug. He had to admit that she had a point there. As much as he loved his friend and would do anything to protect him, Ted functioned more like a guard dog than a proper bodyguard. He could only handle so many people at once before one or two managed to slip past him.

Jack leaned in closer and rubbed the dust off the placard at the bottom of the frame. Squinting at its inscription, he read aloud, “‘The Straw Man?’ Where did your father find this?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. This is my first time seeing it. The inventory said he plucked it off an art dealer in New York in the 70s. Jess Duncan or other. Said the painting brought him more trouble than it was worth and needed to be in the hands of someone who knew how to handle it.”

Jack couldn’t help but sneer at Elsa. “It’s a painting of a scarecrow. How much trouble can it be?”

Elsa chuckled and placed her arm on his shoulder. “I thought the same thing. But you never know in our line of work, love.”

“Mmm. We can definitely handle it, though.”

“Oh, of course. A werewolf, a monster hunter, and a…Man-Thing against a scarecrow? He’ll never stand a chance.”

Unable to help themselves, the two leaned in for a quick kiss, letting their noses rub together as they pulled away.

Releasing herself from Jack, Elsa stepped back and sighed. “Let’s hang it up later, though. My arms need a break from lifting things for the afternoon.”

“Good thinking. I need to work on dinner anyway.”

The two turned out of the parlor and stretched out their arms as they wandered through the rest of the manor. They put any thought of the Straw Man out of their minds, so they never turned back to see the red glow in his eyes burn brighter than before.

~

Archery was never Elsa’s strong suit. She was the master of the wooden stake and could figure out how any weapon worked in minutes if put in her hands. Hell, she’d had to learn how to use a crossbow just a few weeks before. But a regular bow and arrow? That was a different story.

She tended to forgo the traditional weapon on account of how lofty it was. She couldn’t exactly go vanquishing monsters in the night while making sure her quiver and bow didn’t snag on a tree and blow her cover. She was practical. She went for the smaller weapons in defeating her foes.

It was why her time was never spent learning archery growing up. But with all the free time she had on her hands now, the world was Elsa’s oyster. She could learn anything she set her mind to. So archery was the first thing to tackle.

Elsa set up her training ground several yards away from the manor, taking aim in a grove of trees on the perimeter of the surrounding woods. She retrieved two of the mannequins made from potato sacks and straw and tied them from the branches at their necks. The torsos were the only important part, as they had red bullseyes painted across them.

Elsa found a spare bow and arrows among her supplies and brought them with her to the scene, completing her setup for the practice at hand. She pulled one arrow out of the quiver and placed it in the bow, grunting while she fumbled with the bowstring. Every time the arrowhead rested on it, it would slide across then slip underneath.

After the third time this happened, Elsa was ready to give up and find that severed crossbow instead. But she made a promise to herself. She had to follow through on it. She wasn’t going to get any better and prove herself if she didn’t.

Finally, Elsa found her grip on the fourth try, and the arrow became steady. She raised the bow up to her eye and aimed it true at the bullseye on her left. It gently swayed in the light breeze against it, forcing her to take a deep breath until it settled down. Once the wind stopped, her target landed right before her arrowhead. It couldn’t have been more perfect.

Elsa released the arrow and watched it sail into the center in seconds, the blow releasing some of the straw from the sack. She sighed in relief then stepped to the right, readying herself for the second target. She performed the routine again and didn’t struggle with readying the bow, having mastered prepping her weapon. She took another breath and aimed at the target, lining up the arrowhead to create a clean shot. Unfortunately, it never landed.

The moment before she fired, a sharp caw startled Elsa out of her focus. She jolted and shifted the arrow down, releasing it too early into the dirt before her. She watched it sail down in an arch and sighed, the fire in her eyes burning in annoyance. As they narrowed into a glare, she looked up to find the source of the sound.

Sure enough, a crow now perched on the branch the mannequin was tied to. It clamped its feet around the wood and tilted its head to the side, almost wondering what she would do next.

“Do you mind? This is private property.”

The crow didn’t move. It merely adjusted its head and dared her to try again.

As Elsa picked her bow back up and readied another arrow, a different noise echoed in the distant woods. She froze when she heard what she thought was laughter, though it sounded more like a low chuckle. Her body tensed up as the sound rippled through her, crawling under her skin until it rooted itself into her ears. Though it only lasted for a few seconds, the echo it made inside of her made it sound like it lasted forever.

She shook herself out of it in no time, though. She couldn’t tell if it was the crow or the wind laughing at her mistake, but she didn’t want to hear it. She’d prove them all wrong.

Elsa turned around once her weapon was ready, but she stepped back once she saw the audience she now had. Four crows now accompanied her in the trees, two sitting on each adjacent mannequin branch. Elsa wouldn’t stand for it. She never performed well under pressure.

“Bug off, the lot of you!”

The birds didn’t move. They weren’t even intimidated by her. All they did was lean in closer so they could watch the show.

There was one crow on the left mannequin that she didn’t like in particular. It almost seemed to be peering into her soul, its beak waiting to peck at her deepest insecurity until it ripped her clean. Forget the mannequins. The bird had to go.

“Go on! Beat it!”

Elsa flippantly waved at the crows but kept her eyes on her one foe, waiting for it to leave. It never did.

Groaning, she readied her bow again and aimed it right at the crow’s shiny black feathers.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she said under her breath.

Her fingers released the arrow in seconds, and she’d never heard a more satisfying sound than the bowstring’s twang that followed. Unfortunately, it never reached its target.

Just before the arrow could strike, the crow picked itself up and flew back into the forest. The rest of its murder followed him into the trees, leaving Elsa’s arrow to become lost in the leaves above. She couldn’t be mad, though. She was just happy the crows were gone.

Elsa turned back to her quiver to resume her focus, but the arrow she picked up never made it onto the bowstring. Her body was forced to freeze in place as the laughter returned on the wind.

It was much louder this time, sounding more like a fierce cackle that made the leaves rustle through its sheer force. Its maniacal, maddening tone frightened her more than any monster she’d ever encountered. It scared her even more than her father’s wrath or her stepmother’s vicious words. It told her that she was in great danger, and there was nowhere to run from it.

Elsa’s breathing quietly grew more rapid as the echo died down, and the pounding in her ears slowed down so she could hear herself. When she gained even a semblance of her sanity back, she forced herself to slowly turn around and face her opponent hiding in the woods.

At first, there was nothing. There was no one around except for herself and the mannequins. But in seconds, a great black wave rose from the treetops and stretched across the sky. Elsa could only watch in horror as dozens of crows took flight from the forest, their wings outstretched so they could fly in unison into an arch.

She didn’t even feel the bow and arrow fall from her fingers. All she knew was that forty or so crows were all flying straight towards her. As the feeling in her legs slowly began to return, she willed herself to do the only thing she could: Run like hell.

Elsa whipped around and kept her eyes on the manor in the distance, pushing herself to run faster than ever before. The crows’ cawing sounded together in one pulsing note, making her shiver with each step. She even thought she heard the laughter hiding inside of it, but she couldn’t stop to check. She could feel the feathers waving against her hair. They were close. She had to keep going.

With the door mere feet away, Elsa tried to push herself even faster to make it in time. The cawing sounded out of rhythm now and was made much quicker, almost resembling that of her pounding heart.

When her hand finally clasped onto the doorknob, she threw it open, jumped inside, and slammed it shut behind her. The bang reverberated throughout the manor, and she pressed herself back into the door to seal it tight. Her breathing grew ragged while her chest heaved up and down, and she sprawled her arms across the wall to block the birds.

She was almost expecting one or two to peck through the window and swarm inside. To her surprise, they never did. Instead, there were only several thumps against the outside wall and the occasional muffled cawing.

Once she calmed down, Elsa slowly turned around to look out the window and investigate the scene. The murder of crows all seemed to fly into the house then pull back, reining themselves out of their trance. They flapped in place for a moment then turned back and returned to their home in the woods. None of it made any sense to her. Frankly, she was better off not knowing for a little while.

“Elsa?”

Elsa whipped around at the friendly voice, sighing at the sight of Jack around the corner.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, flashing his concerned puppy dog eyes.

Elsa waved him off and turned back towards the window. “Yeah, I think so. It was weird. There were these…birds flying at me and this laugh and…”

She shook her head and sighed again. It was best not to think about it.

Elsa walked over to Jack and pat his shoulder. “Remind me to stay indoors for a few days, yeah?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Jack furrowed his brows as he watched her walk off, trying not to question it himself. It was best not to when Elsa was involved.

~

Jack wasn’t the only one who was now calling Bloodstone Manor home. There was one more monster who was settling literal roots on the property, and he was enjoying every minute of it.

A few days after Elsa’s crow incident, Jack wandered into the woods to check up on the third member of their little family. He had to push through the denser trees and untended twigs that littered his path, but he knew he reached his destination once he could finally see the sun again.

He moved further into the grove hidden at the heart of the forest to find himself standing on the edge of a tiny pond. Though most of the grass surrounding it was dead, the dirt underneath was fresh and ready to grow again. Stomping through it was Ted, the marsh monster who had started it all.

A quiet hum left his mouth while he roamed around the area, and he occasionally bent over to dig his long, moss-covered fingers through the dirt and plant some seeds.

Jack couldn’t help but smile the longer he watched him work. In all the time they’d been together, this was the happiest Ted had ever been. No one was out to kill him, he didn’t need to be constantly looking over his shoulder, and he had a place in the world that he could call his own. It was the life he’d always wanted, and Jack couldn’t have been prouder.

“Wow! And I thought Elsa knew how to decorate.”

Ted turned around at his friend’s voice and let the tendrils around his mouth perk up. Jack almost didn’t hear the mumble he made, but he caught it just in time.

“Of course I do! I love it. You really made a place for yourself here, amigo .”

Ted sheepishly shrugged and began to turn away, making a louder mumble once Jack finally joined his side.

“Hey, Elsa offered for you to have a room inside. It’s not her fault you’re choosing to be uno con la naturaleza instead.”

Ted mumbled again, this time having a slight annoyance to it.

“Yeah, that was before I decided I didn’t want to live in a tent anymore.”

Ted cocked his head to the side and made a teasing grunt, causing Jack to turn away to blush.

Chuckling, he added, “Alright, yeah. She was a big factor in that decision too.” He leaned over to gently punch Ted’s arm. “But you’re still my number one. Elsa’s not going to change that. I promise.”

Ted made a satisfied hum then stepped back, gazing out at the calm waters before them. His eyes trailed down to a small patch of water lilies growing on the banks before him, and he cocked his head to the side in thought.

Pointing down at them, he made an inquisitive hum towards Jack.

“What? No, there aren’t too many water lilies.”

Ted made a short, almost petulant grunt.

“Five is plenty to start with. It makes them look like a nice bouquet. Besides, they’re probably going to…” Jack vaguely waved his hands before him, “-spread their pollen around eventually so you can have more.” He pat Ted’s arm with a grin then walked off. “Don’t worry, amigo . You’ll be the family gardener in no time.”

Ted made a disappointed murmur and slumped forward.

“Well, you should have thought of that before you started planting! Flowers are going to grow whether you like it or not. You can’t control how many you get.”

Jack’s smile softened while he walked off, and he couldn’t help but shake his head. Ted was smart in a lot of ways, but he was also a bit of a perfectionist. So while most of his ideas were generally good ones, he tended to focus more on their mechanics rather than their execution. It also made him a terrible roommate. Jack would never admit it, but it was part of the reason why he jumped at the chance to move in with Elsa. He couldn’t even imagine how Ted would redecorate the manor if he became an indoor monster.

Jack moved towards the edge of the grove and stared up into the trees, tilting his head to the side with a hum. “You know what you could use here? Vines. Th-They probably don’t grow around here, but they’d be great curtains. They would really tie together this whole…forest paradise thing. What do you think?”

That was when Jack heard it. It was just like Elsa had described. A piercing laugh traveled on the wind, its shrill, maniacal tone ringing from ear to ear. He was frozen in place as it swarmed his body, and his pulse quickened faster than ever before.

Jack didn’t think he scared easily. He was supposed to be the creature that scared others. Even then, the fears he could name were more psychological than something he could properly see in the wild and name. This laugh was different. It frightened him like never before.

Jack let out a quick huff as he came to, slowly turning around to see if Ted heard it too. “Ted?”

His friend still stood behind him, but he was perfectly still at the water’s edge. His eyes were focused onto Jack and Jack alone, but there was something different about him. His eyes were glowing much brighter than usual. There was a red light to them that didn’t shine with such power even in the daytime.

Jack felt the same fear the laugh had created beginning to rise up at the sight. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how familiar the eyes seemed. They almost reminded him of…

He didn’t have time to finish that thought, as Ted immediately charged after him with a mighty roar.

Jack yelped and pushed himself up against the closest tree, planting his feet into its trunk. Once he latched on, he leapt up into the top branch to create some distance.

Ted’s long fingers instead latched onto the trunk, the collision making the tree shake in place. Jack quickly hugged the small part of trunk he could grab to keep himself steady, never taking his eyes off the rage in Ted’s face.

“O-Okay. You don’t like vines. Good to know.”

Ted roared into his face and let his eyes glow brighter, now taking a step back to work his magic.

Jack’s eyes widened once he felt the tree tilt backwards, its trunk arching into an odd curve. He looked over his shoulder and yelped upon seeing just how close he was to the ground. However, instead of gently lowering him, the tree picked itself back up then swung forward like a batter hitting a home run.

Jack was flung out of the tree at once, sending him crashing into another patch of leaves and tumbling through its branches. He hit the ground with a hard thud , and he groaned in pain while trying to sit back up.

He looked over in time to find Ted stomping towards him, his fingers splayed out at his sides. Red fire pulsed from every inch of his hands, but Jack didn’t know why. It only tended to come out when Ted’s victims were afraid of him.

That’s when Jack quickly felt the rapid thumping of his own heart against his chest. He was finally going to be the Man-Thing’s next victim.

His instincts overpowered him at once, forcing him to channel his werewolf speed to run as fast as he could. He darted away from Ted and weaved himself around the surrounding trees, pushing his way through the forest with ease.

There was the occasional snag during his sprint, as the trees almost seemed to be moving with minds of their own. They bent down and held their branches over Jack, the twigs curling together to resemble spindly hands. Some managed to snag onto his shirt collar and tried to pull him back, but he managed to pry himself free from their grip. Others tried to grab him from above, and he felt the faint tickle in his hair whenever he swung his head around.

At last, Bloodstone Manor came into view on the horizon. Jack didn’t think he had ever smiled so big before. He channeled his strength into his feet and jumped out into the open courtyard, freeing himself from the net of trees trying to trap him from within. His landing wasn’t as graceful as he hoped, as he hit the ground on his side and tumbled into the door.

Jack took a second to groan in pain but was quick to sit upright once Ted’s roar sounded nearby. The last glance he made into the woods was seeing his friend stomp out, his fiery hands still at the ready to kill.

Without hesitating, Jack pulled the door open and threw himself inside before he could reach him. He locked it behind him then pressed himself against it for an extra measure, hearing Ted thump on it from outside. He also heard a muffled growl from his friend on the other side, but silence soon followed it.

As Jack’s heart rate finally slowed down, he willed himself to look out the window beside him. His body was shaking while he peered into the glass, but all he found was Ted marching back into the woods as if nothing happened. It was almost enough to send his heart rate back up.

“Jack?”

Jack jumped and whipped around to face his new opponent, but he sighed once he saw it was only Elsa. She ran over to clamp her hands on his shoulders and brush the hair out of his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked with furrowed brows.

It took him a moment to get the words out, as he could only stammer them at first.

“I-I-I-I don’t know. One minute, Ted and I were just talking, but then he starts…attacking me.”

Ted attacked you? Ted, the big moss monster who gave me an entire rosebush he ripped out from the ground when he moved in? That Ted?”

“Yeah, I don’t really believe it either. B-But I don’t think he wanted to attack me. There was…something with his eyes. I don’t know. And the trees! They moved on their own to help him. It was like he was…controlling them. I didn’t know he could do that. Did you know he could do that?”

“Alright, love. First thing I need you to do is breathe for me.”

“Right, okay, yeah.”

Elsa squeezed Jack’s shoulders and locked eyes with him, watching him take a slow, deep breath until he calmed down. Once his head was a little clearer, he felt himself smile at the woman before him.

“Thank you.”

“The second thing I need you to do is think back on what happened. Did you see or hear anything weird before Ted attacked you?”

Jack was about to shake his head, but he recalled the noise in his mind as if it were still living inside of him.

“The laugh.”

Elsa almost felt her own heart race when she heard the dire tone of his words. “What?”

“I heard someone laughing. Right before. It sounded just like the one you heard a few days ago.”

Elsa’s usual fire returned to her at once, and she pulled away from Jack to scowl in the other direction.

“That’s it! We’re bloody haunted. I’ve barely put my feet down in this place, and my family’s already trying to kick me out. This is great.”

She began to stomp off down the hallway and threw her arms up in dismay. “Thank god we have all the equipment we need to ward off ghosts downstairs. My father may have been a right bastard, but if there was one thing he was good at, it was being prepa-”

She stomped before the entrance to the parlor and turned her head inside, forcing herself to stop. Jack furrowed his brows and watched as her eyes slowly widened in a panic at what she found inside.

“Jack?”

“Yes?” he asked as he joined her side.

Elsa slowly pointed into the room. “Where’s the Straw Man?”

Jack followed her gaze and felt his shoulders fall in dismay. They had finally managed to hang up their new painting a few days ago, and the frame was still intact. However, its subject was nowhere to be seen. All that remained was a painting of a perfect night sky, but the scarecrow held within had been erased completely.

They knew they had found their ghost, but they couldn’t be happy about it. Not when he was on the run.

~

Jack and Elsa settled into Ulysses’ old office in the cellar, pulling out every book they could find. They coughed into the dust clouds that blew in their faces, but it would be worth it if they could find what they were looking for.

Elsa had never been more grateful for her father being a hoarder than she did in that moment. His office was covered in wall-to-wall bookshelves that were filled to the brim with books of all kinds. Some were journals he had written himself that detailed his escapades around the world and the horrors he faced (and committed) there. Others were field guides written by scientists and anthropologists on the various supernatural creatures that existed in their world and beyond. They didn’t know which one would have the answers they needed, but surely one would.

Jack propped his hip against the edge of Ulysses’ desk, scanning through one of the journals with a cringe. “There’s nothing in this journal, but..I’m starting to feel very grateful that I never met your father.”

“Yeah, count yourself lucky.”

Elsa pulled out a field guide from the adjacent bookshelf and rapidly flipped through the alphabetical pages.

“Come on. S, S, S…” she said under her breath.

When she made it towards the end of the book, she jolted in place and cried out in victory. “I have it!”

“You do?”

Elsa nodded and brought the book over to the desk, slamming it down on the surface. Jack bent down beside her to peer at the dusty pages before them.

The left page had a faded illustration of the very painting in their parlor, but the Straw Man was still intact in his frame. The right page had small cursive handwriting inscribed inside, but the title read “The Straw Man” in red medieval font.

Elsa placed her finger onto the page and ran along each word while she read aloud. “‘Little is known about the Straw Man, also called the Scarecrow, and his origins. Once reported as an opponent of the demon Kalumai, the Straw Man is said to be an entity existing within an alternate dimension that can only be accessed through the painting he resides in. His current whereabouts are unknown.’”

“Okay, so this book is clearly outdated,” Jack said.

Elsa ignored him, continuing, “‘Those who have come in contact with him have reported that he emerges from his painting in the form of an invulnerable scarecrow. This form is mute and cannot speak but can perform a laugh that paralyzes his victims into fear.’”

She briefly looked up to see the same wide eyes her face had taken on in Jack’s as well.

“The laugh,” they chorused.

Jack added, “That’s how he’s been luring us in.”

Elsa nodded and turned back to the book. “‘The Straw Man’s physical form is able to perform a number of abilities such as summoning and controlling a murder of crows, animate plant life, affect the weather, open spatial or dimensional warps, communicate telepathically, and assume human appearance.’ Oh, well that’s not fair. How are we supposed to beat a telepathic scarecrow?”

Jack snapped his fingers as the color returned to his face. “Ted!”

Elsa furrowed her brows. “What’s Ted going to do?”

“No, no, no. That’s what happened to Ted. This Straw Man can manipulate plants, and Ted is made of plants. He hypnotized him!”

Elsa sighed. “Great. So not even Ted can help us.”

“S-See if it says anything about weaknesses.”

“Right, yeah.” Elsa bent back over to read, “‘Though his body is made of straw, he is immune to all physical damage.’”

Jack slammed his fist down and rolled his eyes.

Elsa sighed and slanted her lips. “Sorry, love. I guess you can’t wolf out and rip this one to shreds.”

“So what’s Plan B, then?”

“Wait, there’s more. ‘The only way to purge the Straw Man and send him back into his painting is if fire is applied to his body in any way.’”

Elsa stepped back and shrugged with a quick hum. “Well, that’s easy enough. He can make fire in no time.”

She looked over at Jack and found him lost in thought, his finger tapping against his chin. “What are you cooking up?”

“I’m just thinking…He’s trying to use Ted against us, right? But Ted can generate fire. What if we use his own weapon against him?”

The wheels started turning in Elsa’s mind as well, causing her to grin. “We corner them both then turn them on one another.”

Excitement bubbling over, she grabbed Jack and pulled him in for a quick kiss.

She clasped his cheeks in her hands while she stared at him, adding, “And this is why I love you.”

“It takes a monster to know a monster.”

“You bet your arse it does.”

Elsa reached into her shirt and pulled out the Bloodstone, the red gem pulsing to life to prepare for battle.

“Right then. Let’s burn a scarecrow.”

~

The forest was much quieter than usual. Normally, there might be the occasional animal sound to create an evening song in the air. But it seemed that all of the animals were asleep that night, leaving the only sounds to be the whistling wind and Jack and Elsa’s feet crunching the leaves beneath them.

They stayed close during their trek through the woods, their eyes swiveling around the area for any sign of danger. Neither one could sense their opponent in the dark or his usual calling cards. There were no red eyes searing into them from the shadows, no crows watching them from above, and no trees that seemed to turn and watch them as they walked. They were alone for the time being. They didn’t know if that was better or worse.

“Do you have everything?” Jack eventually asked Elsa.

Elsa held up the empty whiskey bottle she gripped in her fist. “Yeah. Do you remember the plan?”

“I’ve only been running it through my head since we stepped outside.”

“Perfect.”

A brief silence rose up between them, but it was stopped by Jack chuckling to himself.

“What?” Elsa asked.

“It’s just…Did you just have that bottle lying around, or did you drink all of it earlier?”

Elsa playfully scoffed. “I might have downed it earlier, but so what if I did? I’ll have you know that I am the only one in my family who knows how to hold her liquor.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“Is that a challenge, Jack?”

Jack shrugged with a smirk. “It might be.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

Elsa shivered when she felt him subtly slide his hand into hers and squeeze it, forcing her to stop.

He asked, “Well, we have all the time in the world now to do that and anything else we want, don’t we?”

Elsa glanced over at the man she now had in her life and studied him in the dark. She never expected that a shaggy-haired werewolf with a boyish smile and sparkling eyes would be the one to win her heart. She had been more than ready to spend the rest of her life alone once she got what she wanted. But somehow, this monster had wormed his way in and showed her a new way to live. Now, she couldn’t imagine anyone else helping her through whatever life would bring. And she didn’t want it any other way.

“Yeah. Yeah, we do,” she quietly said.

Unable to help themselves, the two closed their eyes and leaned in for one perfect kiss. Unfortunately, their lips never touched.

They instead had to pull apart and stand in formation to face whatever rustled in the trees before them. They couldn’t make out a shadow or any kind of light from within. All they saw were the leaves quivering high above in the trees.

Jack gnarled his fingers and bent into a squat while Elsa squeezed the nose of her bottle tighter than before. Both kept their eyes on nothing but the leaves, waiting for their opponent to emerge once and for all. It wasn’t him, though.

Instead, Ted stepped out from the leaves and darted his eyes between them. He cocked his head to the side and made a short, inquisitive mumble.

Jack and Elsa relaxed and stepped out of their stances, sighing in relief at the sight of their friend.

“Oh, Ted. It’s just you,” the former said.

Ted made another questioning mumble. “Us? Oh, we’re just…on patrol.”

“Yeah, just a…normal patrol. Nothing crazy,” Elsa added as she rocked on her heels.

Ted stood up straighter and mumbled, his tendrils almost bouncing while he spoke to them. Jack and Elsa exchanged a panicked glance but sobered up once they turned back to him.

The latter said, “Um, you know, I, uh…I think we’re okay for tonight.”

“Yeah, you don’t…want to come tonight.”

“We’re almost done anyway. It was a quick patrol.”

“Nothing to worry about, amigo .”

Ted started to speak again, but they all stopped once the sound they were waiting for finally arrived. The Straw Man’s laughter pealed through the air, buzzing around the trees in a cyclone. The group jumped while they listened to it, feeling their bodies grow cold once more.

They knew better. They knew it was just a laugh. It wasn’t anything to truly be afraid of. That didn’t stop the brief flicker of terror from rushing through them.

Elsa forced her eyes to move around the area so she could spot him, eventually locking onto two red lights glowing in the distance. Her fear left her at once, and she pointed at them over Ted’s shoulder.

“There!”

Jack sobered up and followed her gaze, watching as the glow grew brighter and larger. At last, their foe revealed himself from the shadows.

The Straw Man stepped into the grove with the same wicked grin he wore in his painting. His body rustled with every step he took thanks to the straw it was made from, but he held himself tall to prove who was really in charge.

Elsa locked onto him once he emerged, but Jack was more focused on Ted at his side.

“Ted?”

The Ted that he knew was gone thanks to the red glow returning to his own eyes. They narrowed themselves before his friend, and he made a low growl as he prepared to strike.

Jack took a deep breath and bent back into his stance. “Ted…if you’re still in there somewhere…I’m very sorry for whatever I have to do to you tonight.”

The Straw Man raised his arm out in Jack’s direction, causing Ted to growl and stomp after him. Jack leapt into the air to avoid him, but he quickly found himself ensnared in a new trap.

While he missed any blows Ted would deliver to him, the trees still managed to bend to his will. They swung around and swallowed Jack within their leaves, sucking him into their mess of branches. He squirmed every which way to break free, but all his moving did was scratch the twigs along his arms and legs and make them bleed.

While he struggled against the plants, Elsa worked to stuff a rag into the mouth of the bottle. Her distraction allowed the Straw Man to strike, as he waved his other hand overhead and aimed it at her.

She looked up in time to see the crows returning to swarm her, their cawing deafening to her ears. All she could see was black while the birds tackled her, sending her crashing to the ground. She lay on her stomach and tried to push herself up, but the number of crows only seemed to grow each time. Luckily, she still had her secret weapon at her side.

She swiped any crows by her arm and forced herself to reach back and retrieve the bottle. Once she had it, she pulled it up towards her chest and reached into her pocket for her next weapon. She held onto the tiny match for her life and ran it along the rag, watching it light up at once.

The tiny fire sent the crows scattering and cleared the way for Elsa to get back up. She took to her feet and aimed her smirk onto the Straw Man, watching his smile fall into a panicked frown.

“Hey, Straw Man.”

She gently placed the match onto the rag then dropped it, stamping it out with her foot. The bottle was now fully lit and ready to burn, and she held it out towards her opponent.

“You ever try a Molotov cocktail?”

Elsa took a step towards him and watched him take several steps back, his hands waving in front of him to surrender.

“Oh, come on. I think you’ll like it. It goes nicely with straw.”

While she taunted their foe, Jack was one step closer to breaking out of his prison. He swiped at all of the branches that scratched at him, breaking them in half with his brute strength. The more he broke, the looser he became until none of them were left.

Finally free, he leapt out of the tree and tackled Ted from behind. He wrapped his legs around his chest and leaned over, pressing his hands around the sides of Ted’s mossy head.

“Sorry, Ted. This is for your own good.”

Jack squeezed onto the monster tightly, forcing himself down each time Ted tried to push him off. When he finally had a good grip on him, he willed him to turn towards the Straw Man and raise his hand to him.

He swiped at the scarecrow with his tendrils and sent him flying across the grove, his body now landing inside the branch trap. The twigs latched onto his straw and clothes, locking him in while he tried to pull himself out.

Jack turned Ted back towards the Straw Man so he could raise his hands high, the fire burning brightly in them thanks to their opponent’s fear. Even though it wasn’t a full moon, Jack made sure to bare his teeth at him for good measure.

“Stay out of our home.”

With one squeeze, Ted marched ahead with a growl and sunk his hands into the Straw Man’s chest. The scarecrow released a silent scream as he tilted his head back, his mouth opening wide while his body was set aflame.

Jack hopped down from Ted and felt Elsa join his side, and they watched as the fire grew inside the tree.

The Straw Man’s clothes burned first followed by his straw until all that remained was his face. The fabric tore apart inside the flames and left nothing but red eyes dimming inside the inferno. When the last of him finally burnt up, the flames seemed to extinguish themselves until there was no trace of them in the first place. The forest returned to its peaceful silence, and the Straw Man’s laugh never echoed through it again.

The group allowed themselves to breathe once it was all over, and Jack and Elsa embraced for a tight hug.

“Thank God,” the latter said.

As he pulled away, Jack turned to see Ted shaking his head, his hand pressed into it with a groan.

Approaching him, he said, “Hey, Ted. How are you feeling?”

Ted grumbled in return, making Jack pat his arm with a smirk.

“Don’t worry. We’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

~

“Where is he?” Elsa asked while pacing in the parlor. “He said he would be here.”

When she and Jack returned inside after the battle, they were happy to see that the Straw Man had indeed returned to his painting for good. The next question was what to do with him because he certainly couldn’t stay at the manor. Luckily, they did some digging online and found a sorcerer in New York who was looking for any and all magical items to house within his sanctum. It was almost too good to be true. Elsa reached out and made the connection, and he was en route to retrieving his new masterpiece.

Draped along the couch, Jack told her, “Don’t worry. He’ll be here. It’s not like we’re waiting for payment.”

“I know. I just want it gone already.”

Thankfully, their worries died down once a sparkling golden ring appeared in the middle of the room. The two looked over and watched it grow larger until it was big enough for a person to step through.

Stephen Strange huffed once he entered the space, his cloak billowing out behind him.

Turning his eyes onto Elsa, he asked, “Are you Elsa Bloodstone?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Stephen Strange. Pleasure.”

Stephen held out his hand and waited for Elsa to give it a shake.

Once they pulled back, Jack sat up and said, “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“Actually, you saved my ass. This prevented me from going to my girlfriend’s father’s birthday party, and I didn’t have a gift anyway. Though it might do him good to have an inter-dimensional scarecrow painting. So where is the hideous thing?”

“Right here.”

Elsa gestured to the painting now propped up on the floor, the black cloth back to covering its true form. Stephen walked over to it and pulled up the cloth, peering at the scarecrow underneath.

Wincing, he said, “Yeah, that sure is the Straw Man. Although, there is one part of your story that’s throwing me off. All of my research says that the Straw Man is a force for good and steps out of his painting to vanquish evil and protect the good and innocent. So why would he attack you two?”

“You can blame my father for that one. Does Ulysses Bloodstone ring a bell?”

Stephen nodded in understanding. “See, I thought your name sounded familiar. I almost thought it was a poor attempt at an emo rockstar alias.”

Elsa ignored the dig and continued, “I’m not sure what my father did to royally piss off the Straw Man, but my theory is that once he realized where he was, he was free to exact his revenge. Unfortunately for him, I already took care of that.”

“Well, I think you did all of us a favor with that. But don’t worry about the Straw Man. I’ll make sure he’s locked up tight in my sanctum.”

“Thanks. You’re doing us a favor.”

Stephen grabbed the frame and carried it back with him to the portal, glancing at Jack on his way out.

“By the way, bathing’s your friend. Maybe try it once in a while so you can lose the wet dog smell.”

Jack wrinkled his nose at him but didn’t have time to fire back. All he could do was watch as Stephen stepped back through the portal with the painting in hand, its light disappearing until the room was back to its normal state.

Elsa wiped her hands together and plopped down on the opposite end of the couch.

Pushing herself closer to Jack, she said, “Screw him. I like your scent just fine.” She pressed herself into his chest until she was practically on top of him. “Now where were we?”

“Beginning the rest of our lives together.”

“Oh yeah. I like the sound of that.”

Settled in, the two leaned in and snuggled together for the deepest kiss they could make. They knew their monster hunting days weren’t over for a long shot. They were only just starting. But now that they had a perfect home, they were more than ready to face whatever came their way together.

Notes:

Spanish Translations:
Mi angél-My angel
Amigo-Friend
Uno con la naturaleza-One with nature