Archive of Our Own

"You're late."

"I was teaching a class. I cannot answer to your every beck and call."

But he does, doesn't he?

It had been that morning when Ratio received a text from Aventurine complaining about feeling under the weather, that he felt warm and out of it, and when Ratio produced the idea of an early heat, Aventurine denied it. He said his heats were scarily consistent and were never, ever early. I'll just sleep it off, doc. I'll be good as new after a nap, Aventurine had said, and Ratio believed him. He readied himself for the day and went life as he normally would.

Then, several hours ago, in the middle of his class, a series of text come through in which Aventurine calls himself a liar.

I lied.
I've started my heat early.

Do you need me?

My symptoms aren't too bad.
Actually, they are.
So bad.
I might actually die.

I'll take that as a yes. I'll be there as soon as I can.

I need you here faster than that.
Only you can cure me, doc.

K

Ratio ended the class nearly half an hour early without an explanation for his students and told them the lost time would be made at a later date. As he left, he could hear the groans of dismay from some students at the notion they'd need to be in class with Ratio for even longer and the silent whoops of joy from those who hadn't prepared themselves for today's lesson. Truthfully, he resonated more with the latter than the former, regardless of his class being interrupted.

Now, he stands in the door way of Aventurine's home, heart racing after moving with such haste as to not keep Aventurine waiting any longer lest his attitude devolve into something worse.

"Then what's the point of keeping you around?" Aventurine asks. He closes what little space is between them and, while looping an arm around Ratio's neck, he uses the other to push the door shut behind them.

Ratio's hands settle on Aventurine's waist. They always feel at home here, feeling the warmth of Aventurine's skin radiating through the fabric of his clothes. Usually, when Aventurine is in his heat, it feels as though there is lit kindling beneath his skin, but today, that same heat is not present. He feels normal and, aside from the flush on his cheeks, he looks as he always does too. Perhaps he only dramatized his symptoms to feign a sense of urgency to get Ratio here quicker. Such a thing is not beneath Aventurine as he's not been afraid to so before when Ratio had taken just a tad too long to arrive.

"Because no one would be willing to drop everything"—For you. It sits on the back of Ratio's tongue and he nearly says it—"to come and, how did you put it? Cure you."

Aventurine snorts at this and rises onto the tips of his toes, just enough to brush their lips in an action that is not nearly as satisfying as a kiss. In fact, it leaves Ratio wanting, as he often does, for more. One kiss is never enough, and this, in its non-kissness, is the furthest thing from enough.

Ratio takes Aventurine's chin between his thumb and forefinger, his grasp gentle yet demanding, and leans down to seal their lips in a proper kiss, though it is fleeting.

"That's right, doc, so unless you want me to die—"

The dramatics stop with another kiss. Its different than the first. This time, its stronger and Aventurine is kissing him back with the kind of desperation he's never shown before, like he has to have Ratio and he does, Ratio realizes, because its what his heat wants and Ratio cannot deny him. The taste of Aventurine is making him crazy. He knows this is only a fraction—even that feels generous—of what alphas feel when they are near an omega in heat and he finds himself both pitying and envying them. He wants to taste all of Aventurine the way an alpha might be able to. He wants to know why so many lose their minds over it, but it is a blessing in disguise he cannot, that he is not an alpha.

If he were, they would not have made this arrangement.

Aventurine has just begun reeling Ratio in when he breaks away. They're both breathing hard and Aventurine is looking at Ratio like he's just broken something inside of him; brows furrowed and lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed and eyes locked on his in a gaze that says why'd you stop. And Ratio marvels at the silent question for half a second before he comes to a conclusion. Its simple, really, a little pathetic, even. He wants to look at Aventurine just because.

His hands travel the length of Aventurine's back and he's kissing the line of his jaw, his throat, stopping at the hem of his shirt, and it occurs to Ratio that they're still in the entryway. He kicks off his shoes and crushes Aventurine's body to his own, guiding him as he walks backward and nearly trips over the cat cakes as they scurry about the floor in a panicked hurry to cross the space.

They help each other undress. Ratio's shirt is discarded somewhere along the way to Aventurine's bedroom and his belt is removed, the metal clattering to the floor. Desperate hands are making work of the button and zipper at the front of his pants, and between it all, their lips meet over again until Aventurine's legs knock into the edge of the bed, forcing him to sit.

Ratio takes one long look, relishing in the sight of Aventurine, his cheeks stained pink, his lips swollen and wet, his sleep shirt disheveled. Then, there's a little push and he falls back against the mattress.

*

The first time it happened, they both claimed it was an accident—

One night, while on one of their many missions together, Aventurine mistook Ratio's room at the hotel for his own. He stumbled inside without knocking and startled Ratio. The rudeness of it had left a bad, yet fleeting, taste in his mouth. Then, he realized something three crucial details:

1. He was unsteady on his feet, though not to a dangerous degree, but it was clear that he had been using the door frame as support to keep himself upright.

2. Upon closer inspection, the pupils of his eyes appeared to be dilated, blown wide like he was standing in a dark room searching for light.

3. His skin, his cheeks, his neck, was stained red, flushed with warmth and something else.

In his mind, Ratio concluded that Aventurine was drunk, but sought out verbal confirmation anyway.

Aventurine, having been made aware that this was not his room, said, "I didn't mean to impose, doc. I thought this was my room," and turned on his heels to exit. His words were not slurred, per se, but there was a kind of unsteadiness in them that could not be ignored.

Ratio caught him by the elbow, stopping him before he could make it fully into the hallway. "Are you drunk, Aventurine?"

At this, Aventurine laughed. "Do you smell booze on me?"

Standing that close to Aventurine, Ratio had said, "No," with weariness. He didn't smell like he'd been drinking, however, Ratio had learned, with time, that there were more than one ways to gauge someone's sobriety.

Aventurine tilted his head, eyes settling on Ratio's face, a question clearly resting on the tip of his tongue. "Do you smell anything on me?"

Again, Ratio said, "No."

"I'm not drunk, doc," Aventurine reassured. "I'm in heat."

Suddenly, it made sense to Ratio. Being a beta, he often forgot—and still does more than he would like to admit—that secondary genders aside from his own existed. He'd never been burdened with the pheromones of others. He'd never been overwhelmed with the smell of an nearby omega in heat or alpha in a rut. The knowledge of Aventurine's second gender had been something he acquired relatively early on, but the discussion of his own never came up.

"You're a beta," Aventurine pointed out, as if Ratio was not aware of this fact himself.

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No, not at all."

Aventurine's light up with an idea, then, and before Ratio could verbalize his question, Aventurine surged forward and kissed him.

And kissed him.

And kissed him.

Eventually, they tumbled into the hotel bed, even though Ratio, to this day, claims he doesn't recall how they got there, who led who. All that he can remember his the way Aventurine hallowed his cheek as he took Ratio's cock into his mouth and the tears of relief and pleasure that flooded his eyes the moment Ratio's cock was inside him, how pretty he looked being stuffed full.

It continued until the worst of Aventurine's head passed, and in the aftermath, they did not discuss it.

It was an accident.

—until it happened a second time.

A month later, Aventurine dropped to his knees in Ratio's study and begged to choke on his cock, begged to be filled with it. I need it, he had said, Please, Ratio. I need it. And he obligated without a second thought. Ratio swiped everything off his desk in one fluid motion, unbothered by the sounds of clattering pens and falling books, as he hoisted Aventurine onto the wood and had his way with him right there. Later, he would regret the clean up, but in the moment it was the furthest thing from his mind.

Once was an accident.

Twice was… something more than that.

For a time, they were reckless and careless. They did not care where they tore each other apart, only that they needed to. Ratio would take Aventurine in places he shouldn't have, but Aventurine would beg. He'd say he was in pain, and some days Ratio questioned this. What good is a beta to an omega when it comes to satiating the desires of their heat?

He asked this, once, after it occurred to him why Aventurine kept coming to him for sex.

"Would it not be more beneficial for you to have an alpha have sex with you?" His question could've used a little more decorum, he'll admit, but at the time, he couldn't think of any other way to word it without being vague.

Aventurine laid beside him on the bed, his hair spilling around him on the silken sheets covering his bed, which was much more comfortable and lavish than Ratio's. He laughed at the question and shrugged. "You do not come with the risk that an alpha does."

He didn't need to say it out loud for Ratio to understand and still, he had his doubts.

"I cannot knot you."

Another laugh. "You're cute, doc." Aventurine turned his head to the side and caught Ratio's eyes with his own. "I'm satisfied without it, so take it as a compliment. You're doing something right."

It was never brought up again.

And, with time, they settled. The newness of their sexual relationship and boldness subsided. The novelty of them ebbed into familiarity and soon, it became routine for them to spend Aventurine's head together, to the point where Ratio even began tracking it so that he may be able to plan around it, if he were able. Most of the time, he was.

None of it was ever spoken out loud, save for the one rule Aventurine set—we can't together outside of my heat—and while Ratio is mostly okay with that, there's one thing he wishes they'd bring up.

The one time Aventurine had broken the singular rule he'd laid out for them.

Ratio remembers it clearly.

Two weeks ago, Aventurine found Ratio in the dark. He'd come over to discuss an upcoming after stating, over text, that its a conversation he'd much rather prefer to have in person, and Ratio did not allow himself question it when he otherwise might've. Emotions, his emotions, got in the way. The prospect of seeing Aventurine for any reason was more than enough for him to say okay, to invite Aventurine over to his home.

Aventurine fell asleep on the couch and, after covering him up with a thin blanket, Ratio left him there, having decided to go to bed himself. He'd been underneath the duvet when, in the middle of the night, the empty side of his mattress sank under the weight of Aventurine. Quietly, he laid down and pressed his chest to Ratio's back, hands roaming, breath fanning over his neck.

"What's this about?" Ratio asked, having decided not to feign sleep or exhaustion. He'd not been asleep, he'd been lying in bed for what felt like hours, and he hadn't been tired. Thoughts of Aventurine were more than enough to keep his heart racing, which in terms made him feel awake and alive. "Are you in heat?"

Surprisingly, Aventurine did not lie. "I'm not."

He did not point out that Aventurine is breaking the very rules he himself set at the start of this arrangement because he knew that Aventurine knew and he did not want to destroy the moment by stating the obvious. In retrospect in wishes he would have, if to only learn about the look Aventurine had in his eyes that night. He couldn't place it then, and doesn't have confidence that he would be able to now, either.

He should've asked about it.

*

Its over the bare and scarred skin of Aventurine's body that Ratio now glides his fingers. Blonde hair, though short, spills around in his head in a golden halo, and Ratio finds himself, as he often does, marveling at the beauty of the man before him.

With Aventurine here, laid almost completely bare, Ratio can't help but want, and Aeons, he wants.

Wants more than this. Wants more than just the physical aspects of their relationship. Selfishly, he wants Aventurine to break the one rule he'd set when all this started and, in return, Ratio won't fight it. He'd silently let Aventurine break it again and again if he meant more, if it gave Ratio even the smallest chance of having Aventurine unconditionally.

Ratio's fingers hook into the waistband of Aventurine's briefs and tugs them down, his breath catching in his chest at the slick clinging to the fabric.

"What's on your mind, doc?"

Their eyes meet for the briefest of moments before Ratio looks back down at the mess on Aventurine's underwear. "What you taste like," he says. Its not entirely wrong, but its not the entire truth, either.

A smile plays onto Aventurine's lips and he spreads his legs a little wider. "Why don't you find out, then?"

Ratio does not hesitate. With a single kiss to Aventurine's knee, Ratio flips him from his back to his stomach and urges him onto his knees, leaving his chest pressed to the mattress. His eyes trace the lines of him, the arch of his back and the shape his thighs, the way his his hands have already balled the sheets underneath him into fists in anticipation.

He smooths his hands over Aventurine's ass and grabs at his thighs as he leans forward to sink his teeth into the plush skin, hard enough to leave behind a very viable bite mark that will no doubt bloom into a stunning bruise later. He kisses his way to what he really wants, leaving a trail of spit and tiny marks in his wake. At first, he's cautious: he experimentally drags the flat of his tongue over Aventurine's slick hole in a quick motion. Aventurine sucks in an audible breath and shifts, pressing closer to Ratio as a silent way to say, Keep going.

Wrapping his arms around Aventurine's thighs, Ratio secures him in place and buries his face between his cheeks. He groans at the taste of him and understands why alphas nearly lose themselves, and its in these moments that he's glad he's a beta, that he is the one who's privileged enough to have Aventurine like this, moaning his name and begging for more.

More.

It lingers in the back of his mind, an ever present answer to a question he's been actively ignoring.

Aventurine has twisted his upper body just enough to lift his hands and weave his fingers through Ratio's hairs, nails digging against his scalp and pressing his face closer. Typically, Aventurine is not an honest man. He keeps his cards close to his chest and hardly ever lets his poker face slip, but when he's with Ratio its as if the mask gets hung up at the door with his coat. His face and body his betray him in such a way that used to leave Ratio stunned.

Right now, in moments like these where he's naked and wanting, is when Ratio sees Aventurine at his most vulnerable and honest.

Vulnerability looks breathtaking on Aventurine.

The look in his eye is unlike anything other and Ratio wishes he could read it, wishes he could sift through their depths to find what is silently being conveyed to him. He knows a great deal about Aventurine. He knows what he likes and dislikes in most aspects. He knows how to read his body language like its his native tongue. He knows so, so much, but he does now know how to read those eyes. Ratio looks at them and he knows them, yet he cannot translate them. They're both familiar and foreign.

Even now, he cannot decipher that look in his eyes despite seeing it many times before.

Aventurine's chest is heaving and he's saying something about needing more, about how this isn't enough, but Ratio isn't ready to give him what he wants yet. Instead, he loosens his grip on one of Aventurine's thighs in favor of wrapping his fingers around his leaking cock and begins stroking it. At this, Aventurine gasps and turns his face into the sheets.

With a cry, he makes a mess of Ratio's hand and Ratio lets it spill over onto the sheets. Ratio is careful not to lay Aventurine in the mess as he rolls him onto his back. They slot together easily, almost as if its routine by this point.

Wordlessly, Aventurine's legs fall open to allow Ratio in and, after stripping entirely, he takes his place.

The kiss is long and a soft, a complete turn around compared to how they got here. Ratio grinds his cock against the junction of Aventurine's hip and thigh, the relief of his aching cock being freed from the confinement of his boxers is so acute he nearly crumbles.

"Ratio," Aventurine whispers, looping his arm around Ratio's neck, "I'm getting impatient."

"You're always impatient."

Aventurine does not argue. Instead, he hooks his legs around Ratio's hips and pulls him close, locking him in place. His hand slips between their bodies and wraps around Ratio, touching him as he kisses him, as the desperation of his lips conveys to Ratio that he wants him now.

And who is Ratio to do anything but oblige?

Ratio is slow, painfully so, as he sinks into Aventurine, and fingernails are digging into his back, clawing at his skin with a force so profound he's already dreading the sting that will surely come when they eventually bathe later. He bottoms out and stills, his hips pressed flush against Aventurine as he takes in the sight of his. Aventurine eyes have fallen shut, his mouth slightly agape as he drinks in air and his thighs shake around Ratio's frame.

Aventurine whimpers against Ratio's lips. "Don't make me wait—"

The pace he sets is languid. Ratio draws his hips back and fucks back, slow and purposeful. Underneath him, Aventurine squirms and rocks his hips in attempt to take Ratio deeper, to seek out further pleasure, but Ratio's thrusts, somehow, remain consistent.

Pleasure blinds him and its white-hot and all encompassing. Ratio cannot see around it, cannot feel beyond it. And for half a heart beat, he questions the reality of it.

He makes a tortured sound and grasps at Aventurine. His hips, his waist, his thighs. Anything and everything he can grab he does, hard enough to leave faint prints in his wake.

Ratio pulls back to get a good look at Aventurine, at all him, and drops his hand to where his cock disappears inside of him. He stills and thumbs at Aventurine's rim, tugging ever so slightly.

"Please," Aventurine breathes out, hands coming up to push at Ratio's abdomen while also trying to reel him back in. "Please, don't stop."

"Tell me what else you want."

Aventurine does not speak. Weakly, he fucks himself back against Ratio's cock and Ratio doesn't have in him to deny Aventurine, not when he's like this, being as honest as he is.

Sudden and quick, Ratio picks up his pace and morphs it into something unrelentless. They're chest to chest now, their foreheads pressed and their breaths colliding as Ratio thrusts into Aventurine with newfound fervor.

Framed by damp lashes, those unreadable eyes are glazed and glassy with pleasure, of that much Ratio is certain.

I love you.

I love you I love you.

Ratio feels, the words threatening to spring free from his chest, with such great intensity it's almost startling. They're on the tip of his tongue, the edge of the lips, and he knows if he says them, he won't be able to take it back. Those three words, if rearranged, could spell out disaster and destroy him in the process and he doesn't care. He wants Aventurine to knows. He wants to tell him.

He's about to. His lips have parted and he's going to speak—

Aventurine stops him with a kiss, as if he knew exactly what Ratio was going to say, as if he didn't want him to say it.

Please don't say it, is what the kiss means.

He notices that Aventurine's hand is between their bodies again, messily stroking himself. Ratio pushes his hand away and takes over, but he barely manages to wrap his fingers around him when Aventurine's orgasm crashes over him, once again spilling over and making a mess of Ratio's hand.

Ratio lets go when he feel's Aventurine come apart. He fucks him through his orgasm and chases his own in a series of desperate, wild thrusts. Quick and sloppy, he drives into Aventurine's hole until his hips finally still with a shudder.

In the aftershocks, they're both breathless and unmoving.

Aventurine's arms fall from Ratio's back and stretch out above him. Ratio buries his face in Aventurine's chest, listening to the sound of his racing heart for only a second before he pulls out of him, which earns him a sharp gasp.

Still breathless, he says, "We need to wash up."

Lazily, Aventurine gathers several tissues from a nearby box on the nightstand and wipes at his stomach. "No need."

"There's no need to lay in filth when you have a tub, Aventurine."

"We're just going to make another mess," he protests.

While the point he makes is a valid one, Ratio is unwavering. He scoops Aventurine up and carries him to the bathroom.

*

Something is eating Ratio from the inside out.

Its been there, just beneath the surface of his skin. The seeds of it had been planted the first time Aventurine wandered into Ratio's bed outside of his heat and now they've grown into something that is not so easily ignored.

Once was an accident.

Twice was something beyond that.

"I cannot get that night out of my mind," Ratio speaks into into the nape of Aventurine's neck.

They're in Aventurine's sizable bathtub, which has enough space for the bath of them to sit comfortably in their own spaces, yet Aventurine felt the need to be as close to Ratio as he could be. They're sitting back to chest, Ratio's legs resting on either side of Aventurine.

Aventurine's hands stop beneath the surface of the water, startled. "Which night?"

"Don't be tense. You know what I'm talking about."

A brief silence settles over them, though it does not grow heavy.

"It was an accident."

Ratio doesn't believe that, and he gets the sense Aventurine doesn't, either.

"And what of this time?"

"What about it?"

"I know you're not really in heat, and I know that was the case at the start of our arrangement, but that night plagues me," Ratio tells him. It takes an extraordinary amount of effort to keep his voice steady, however he's certain the way his hands grip the porcelain edges of the tub give him away. "Was you showing up at my home outside of your heat part of that convenience? Was you you lying to me about being in your heat part of it, too? Or do the rules you set not apply to you?"

Aventurine spins himself around to face Ratio, water sloshing against the sides and over the rim onto the tile as he moves. When their eyes meet, they're wide and, for the first time, Ratio is able to see them, to read and truly know them.

And Ratio is still speaking.

"I cannot bear to think that you continue to sleep with me out of convenience when you know my feelings." His knuckles have gone white and though Aventurine is looking at him with those eyes, Ratio is glued to something just beyond his head. He's not sure he could survive looking into his eyes for more than a few seconds.

Aventurine asks, "How do you know I know?"

"You must because earlier, you kept me from saying them out loud."

Ratio is not a betting man, he finds it to be a foolish past time, but he would bet money on Aventurine knowing what lived in the depths of Ratio's heart before he himself did.

This time, the silence has time to grow roots once its settled. For the longest while, Aventurine says nothing. He's averted his gaze from Ratio's face and focuses on anything but him.

Outside the window high up on the wall, the sounds of the city fill the space left between words.

Then.

More water sloshes as Aventurine moves. He's going to get up and leave, Ratio thinks, and he wouldn't blame him for it. He'd just had the weight of another's feelings unloaded upon him and is no doubt uncomfortable by the accusatory nature of the words.

A pair of wet hands cupping either side of his face startle Ratio, dragging him back to the moment just before his mind could fully escape it.

Lips touch the tip of his nose.

"Ratio."

Either side of his cheeks.

"Ratio."

His forehead.

"Ratio."

He's smiling against Ratio's skin and he's still smiling when he pulls back, his hands unmoving from their places on his cheeks. "I didn't know you had such a cute side to you, doc." Ratio opens his mouth to speak, but a finger pressing to his lips shuts him down before he gets the chance. "That night wasn't an accident. Usually, I'm a better liar than that, but I think part of me wanted you to see through it."

Ratio blinks and loosens his grip on the edge of the tub. All at once, the build up tension embed in his muscles ebbs. "What are you saying?" He knows, a part of him always has, but he wants to relish in the satisfaction of hearing Aventurine admit it out loud.

"That i crave you. I want you, during my heat and outside it, too, and I know that goes against the rules, I know that, and I don't care. I've never been good at following rules anyway so I—"

This time, its Ratio's turn to cut Aventurine off.

He does so with a kiss, surging forward to connect their lips and Aventurine is quick to meet him with matched desire. Ratio seeks to devour him, to claim him, and the very idea of it leaves him hard, frantic as he clutches any part of Aventurine's skin he can. Aventurine straddles Ratio, knees knocking against the sides of the tub and, still open and pliant from earlier, he easily slides onto Ratio's cock, hands pressed against his expansive chest for leverage.

They both gasp and swallow the breath in another ravenous series of kisses.

"Stay," Aventurine murmurs, already breathless, without fully breaking their kiss.

Something akin to a ghost smile spreads across Ratio's lips. "I planned to."

"I mean forever."

"I know."