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Mark Borja was a simple man once. He used to go to school like a normal teenager, he liked hanging out with his friends, and the most he worried about back then was his grades. Mind you, his scores were horrible so it’s worth agonizing over. But still, those things compared to that trash heap of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff he just experienced? He’d take getting a D at math over that every single day of the week.
He had hope. He thought that it would be like a game of sorts, and the resets were just… save points, maybe. If he gets good at piano quicker, if he builds a stronger relationship with all his friends and Nicole, if he just… becomes a better person than before, he’ll eventually get his happy ending. Really, after all this time, still so naive, he had it coming. A happy ending? For folks like him? Wrong city, wrong people. It’s Liamson, for pete’s sake.
Ha, he’s amazing at this. A Doctor Who reference and a Cyberpunk 2077 Reference, back-to-back. If Cathy’s here, she definitely would have given him a high five. See? His bangs aren’t the only redeeming qualities he has, even if they’re right up there.
Of course, since patience isn’t one of them, he made his peace with whatever’s been happening to him after a while. Groundhog daying got boring after a few goes, and when it got to double digits? Oh, everything’s so much worse. He’s overly familiar with people he shouldn’t know, and most of the time he ends up acting like a creep because of his spotty memory, since even he gets a semi memory reboot when time rewinds.
Mark’s gotten the hang of remembering things sometime after he stopped bothering to count how many times he went through the same parts of his life, and then just decided to go through the motions monotonously. And since whatever God’s out there loves subverting his expectations and just messing with him in general, he finally gets out of this hell only after he’s given up. And now? Life goes on like usual, and it sure doesn’t wait for him to catch up.
Could be worse, he supposes. There’re no disappearances this time, even with the Ruling happening. He’s talked with his dad and he’s no longer in denial about his mom. Cathy’s family is still a work in progress, but he’s kept his friend group together even after Ridel got his big break and was hired by some major film company, so the two of them can chant Ridol everytime they watch a screening with the man himself. Him and Nicole are smooth sailing, and she’s no longer obsessing over a friend who will never come back. Hell, even Louise is doing fine, with that band boy and pom poms girl following her around wherever she goes. Everything seems perfect. No, everything is perfect.
Everything, except him.
It’s funny, really. Mark spent so long finding the perfect way to solve everyone else’s issues while ignoring his own, and now it’s come back to bite him in the ass. He’s been in a daze lately, and he’s trying his best to get his mojo back, he really is, but he just can’t make things better. It’s not like the time he cried in front of his friends and finally told them about his mom, this isn’t just sadness and denial, he’s just purely out of his depth. He’s not used to things going this well for him, and every day he waits for the other shoe to drop, and-
He just doesn’t know what to do. He’s jumpy, his head’s in the clouds and he’s downright unresponsive sometimes, and people are starting to notice. Even worse, people are starting to worry. Really, after dealing with so many weird scenarios, he still can’t handle dealing with other people’s feelings. He would find this situation funny if it ain’t so pathetic.
Hell, even Justin, the guy so enamored with Elise he normally doesn’t even look at anyone else, asked if he was feeling alright yesterday when Mark was playing the piano. He’s amazing at the instrument now since he had tons of practice, so it can’t be that he played so horribly even people in the club are worried. Justin must have seen something off with his expression or something.
Really, the only friend of his that didn’t notice how strange he’s been acting is Samantha, but maybe she’s just too shy to outright state her concerns. Or maybe she knows he’s just a bit overwhelmed from everything that’s happening and didn’t bother him with questions six or seven others are already asking. Yea, that’s probably it. She’s a sweet girl like that. Still, that means everyone knows something’s wrong with him at this point. Great, just great.
He can’t believe he’s saying this, but dealing with the death of his mother was so much easier compared to what’s going on now. Time heals all wounds, and he could and did vent to others about that tragedy. If he even utters a word about the time loop he’s been in, he’s going to get chucked in a loony bin, never to see the light of day again.
Oh, whatever. Mark shakes his head and starts walking out the classroom. He still has to go to the piano club, and who knows? Maybe some music can help clear his head.
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“Hey, man, you alright?” Justin says, as he starts playing the same piece once again because of a mistake. “You’re supposed to be the brightest star in this new batch of members, and I’ve heard you nail this piece before. Do you need a break?”
“No, no, I’ve got it. Just need one more try.” Mark replies, and starts playing Time is Tearing Us Apart . Everything’s going well this time, and the tempo’s just perfect. Finally, something’s going right for once-
Annnnnd he just messed the song up because his wrists just froze. He gets frustrated, and slams both hands on the piano keys and some plays nonsense noises which catches everyone’s attention. Just what he needs.
He sees Justin about to say something again, and stops him while his mouth is open halfway. “Sorry, I appreciate you worrying about me, but I think it’s best if I just… Yea, I’ll leave, I’ll stop hogging the piano, you guys have fun.”
He runs out the room, and everything’s a blur. He doesn’t know how he sprinted up a flight of stairs so quickly, but he must have done so since he now finds himself on the school balcony. He takes a seat to catch his breath, and hears footsteps coming from behind. God, Justin again? He turns back, about to snap something to his friend, and pauses as he comes face to face to Nicole.
“Wa- wait up, Mark! Christ, why’d you- why’d you run so fast?” She hunches down, gasping for air, and he feels a bit guilty for making a scene. She takes a while but when she steadies her breathing, she gestures for him to make some room and sit down next to him. “It’s funny, isn’t it? Every time something goes wrong, we end up here. It’s fate, I tell you.”
“Why are you here, Nicole?” He asks and regrets his tone immediately. “Sorry, I don’t mean it like that, it’s just, I’m not pleasant company right now.”
“You think I don’t know that? Silly.” She smirks, and playfully punches his arm. “You stayed with me during my lowest, so why are you surprised when I’m doing the same? We stick with each other, though the good and bad, right?”
Ah, so that’s how it is. “You’re very kind, but you don’t need to repay me for what I’ve done.” Mark smiles, and he can feel how insincere it is. “Still, thanks for being with me.”
“You… I’m not repaying you for anything, idiot.” She huffs, and continues, “When will you get this through your thick skull? I love you, Mark, so that means your problems are my problems, and I care about you. Now the next thing out of your mouth better be what’s wrong, or I’ll keep asking and annoying you until you spit it out.”
He laughs at her teasing words, and the world feels less unforgiving for a moment. “Ah, what will I do without you, huh?”
“Probably nothing good.” Nicole teases him, and he feels himself falling in love with her again. Really, choosing to be with her every single time, he doesn’t regret it, not one bit.
He doesn't start right away. The words get stuck in his throat, heavy and unfamiliar now that he's haven't rehearsed them before for a potential future outcome. He stares at the horizon, then down at his hands.
“You don't have to tell me everything,” she adds, expression kind, “Baby steps are nothing to be ashamed of, if you make the attempt to heal.”
He swallows, unsure, then nods and starts talking about… a lot of things. He still won’t mention any of the time loop stuff, but he spills his heart out to her. How he feels like he doesn’t belong, how he wishes everything will just work out for him and how angry he is at himself that he’s not having a good time when everything’s going well for once, he tells her everything, and she just… listens.
When he’s finished, she holds his hand tightly and tells him her own struggles. How she used to feel she didn’t belong after being forced to move to an entirely new city, how everyone and everything felt cold and unwelcoming before she met him, how she was also angry at herself for not appreciating the chance of starting anew when so many people are still stuck in shelters, and how she slowly got better. She reassures him that she’ll be with him every step of the way to recovering from his issues, and he finally knows there’s someone that understands his struggles, at least a little bit, and-
And sometimes, that’s all a man needs.