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The night stirs as Hao jolts awake.
Sweat had drenched him to the bone, the moonlight streaming through his window casting a ghostly sheen over his skin. He was cold, shivering in on himself, the blanket he’d discarded in his chaotic sleep no longer providing him with any warmth. In the dark of his room, he felt eyes on his neck, on his face, on his chest – watching his every glance, his every move, his every breath. The eyes sunk into him, as if consuming him whole. The visions of his dream were still fresh, haunting him every second he stayed awake longer. He hated nights like this, hated how vulnerable they made him, and how much he didn’t feel like himself.
He’d seen him. That soulless existence of death. His face marred by scars and a stare that had never known joy, – except when his axe hit the chopping block, only then was there a flicker of sickly, vile glee Hao had never seen in a human before. He stared at Hao, at his ears - pointed at the tips, at his cheeks, – dusted with glitter, and sharpened his axe with a small stone as Hao was thrown onto the block by careless hands, like a cattle for slaughter. He placed his head over the edge, fingers tightening in his hands. His head pounded in his ears as his eyes grazed the crowd, sinking in every pair of eyes he met. He didn’t want the man readying his murder weapon to be the last human he saw. He didn’t want to die with that face in his mind.
But before those thoughts could sink into his mind just as the axe was being levelled over his head, he was pulled from the block. Soft hands wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him away from the execution circle. They were familiar, safe. Gege, I’ve got you. He heard the executioner’s outrage, the man tried pulling him back with such force he thought his arm might tear off. But the safe hands pushed the Executioner away so hard he stumbled back and fell to the ground. Hao didn’t know whether to breathe or not.
From his spot on the ground, the executioner lifted his axe and readied his aim faster than Hao and the safe person could move away. The axe flew directly at him- no, not at him, at the person behind him. But before anything could happen, everything went black.
Then he’d woken up.
He lifted himself out of bed, not even taking the time to linger to slip on his slippers as he scuttled out of the menacing air of his bedroom. He hugged his arms around his chest, his shirt doing little to shield him from the cold drafts slipping in and out of the small home when it was soaked through with sweat. He stepped directly across the hallway, grateful for the lamp flickering to light the short path before he stepped into the next room.
He saw Hanbin snug in his bed, hugging his blanket tightly to sleep. The weight in his chest lifted, seeing Hanbin safe and calm made him realise again that the nightmares had passed, his Hanbin was safe, and so was he. Hanbin was sleeping with little disturbance, he had less dreams these days; compared to Hao, who still had nightmares almost every time he shut his eyes. Hanbin knew, of course, how could he not? Especially when Hao sought his comfort nearly every night. Hanbin never once complained, despite Hao's worries, and instead told Hao to come to him whenever he had a nightmare - 'I wouldn't be able to close my eyes knowing you were going through that on your own... I want to hold you close and shield you from every ghost that haunts you.' . He stepped carefully over to the sleeping man, cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking him lightly, “Hanbin-ah.”
Hanbin stirred, his eyes barely flickering open before he sloppily reached out a hand to gently hold Hao’s. He looked up at Hao, eyes warm and dazy with sleep. His eyes were different, they didn’t judge him, or hurt him. “Gege, come lay down.” he croaked out, voice grating with sleep. He gently pulled Hao by the hand to lay beside him, Hao climbed onto the bed and instinctively melted into Hanbin’s side, warmth flooding him and taking away any chills he previous felt. Hanbin covered him in the blanket, allowing him to snuggle closer. He held onto Hanbin, arm slipping around him immediately as he fought the tears prickling at his eyes. He scrunched his eyes shut, unwilling to cry right now, not when Hanbin was still so sleepy, not when Hao had disturbed him many nights before this one.
But Hanbin’s hand caressed his cheek, sleepily wiping away a stray tear as Hao opened his eyes at the touch, “Hao,” he frowned slightly with concern, “Look at me,” Hao listened, immediately meeting Hanbin’s eyes, “It’s over, we’re both safe, you’re safe, I’m safe. You’re a beacon of light throughout every nightmare that crosses your path, nothing in there can hurt you anymore.”
Hao pouted, nodding softly and leaning slightly into Hanbin’s touch. The words and the warmth of Hanbin’s hands soothed his heart and eased the knots buried in his chest. Hanbin was here with him, safe, and full of love.
Hanbin’s lips upturned to a smile, he reached up and ran his finger over the pointed ridge of Hao’s ear, “How pretty,” the whiskers on his cheeks became apparent even in his sleepy state, “You’re so pretty, gege.” he whispered.
Hao’s cheeks slowly burned, the sparkle that adorned them growing more apparent, sparking a giggle from Hanbin. Hao smiled shyly, covering his face with his hands as he buried himself in the pillow. Hanbin laughed again, slipping his hand over Hao’s and gently peeling it off the right side of his face, intertwining their fingers. Hao stared at him softly. He looked at the delicate sculpt of his nose, the cupid’s bow adorning his lips, the fluffiness of his hair which was all too tempting as Hao reached out to brush a hand through it. Hanbin leaned into the touch, Hao smiled again, “You’re pretty too, like a cat.”
Hanbin hummed, “How pretty?”
Hao huffed a laugh at his teasing, “Pretty enough for all the village’s people to fall in love with you.”
Hanbin smiled, “Would that include a certain fairy?” he bored into Hao’s eyes, gaze so intrinsically warm and determined at the same time.
Hao couldn’t ignore the way his heart skipped a beat then, especially when the sparkle on his cheeks glowed a warm blue yet again. “Maybe… You’ll just have to find out.” Hao shrugged, acting oblivious to the fact that Hanbin was indeed flirting with him.
“Well, I hope it’s a fairy I know, someone with a heart so bright it could slice through any evil.” Hanbin reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Hao’s ear. Then he leaned in, so closely, and pressed his lips to Hao’s forehead - softly, gently, with every ounce of caution there could be - and Hao, curse his fairy-ness, glowed so brightly it illuminated the pillow beneath his head. Hanbin saw this as he pulled away, faintly brushing a hand over Hao’s cheeks.
Hao didn’t whine this time, he simply melted into Hanbin’s gaze, taking in his warmth. “You’re closer than you think.” he said softly.
“Oh?” Hanbin smirked, sending electricity down Hao’s spine, still caressing Hao’s glowing cheek.
“I won’t elaborate.” Hao rolled his eyes playfully, sparking a laugh out of Hanbin.
Hao embraced Hanbin again, pulling him closer until they were almost nose to nose and Hao could feel Hanbin’s breath wisp over his lips. Hanbin returned the gesture, wrapping an arm tightly around Hao’s waist; it felt soft, secure. Somehow, when Hao was with Hanbin, every drop of worry left his body. Somehow, the world felt safe again.
Despite the fact that Hao came to sleep with Hanbin almost every night, they never initially went to sleep in the same bed. Hao wanted to fall asleep with Hanbin in his arms though, from the moment he retired after supper and laid his head on his pillow, he wanted Hanbin by his side. Honestly, he thinks Hanbin felt the same.
“Your bed is rather comfortable,” Hao treaded lightly, toeing the line with little holding him stable.
Hanbin smiled softly, “I’d hope so, it’s the same as yours.”
Hao huffed a laugh, “But, yours is more comfortable.”
“Why is that?” Hanbin raised a brow.
Hao flushed, “Just because…”
“Because?” Hanbin suddenly gave a knowing smirk.
Hao clenched his eyes shut for a moment, “Don’t make me say it, Sung Hanbin.”
“Why not? Is my Hao gege shy?” Hanbin suddenly propped his head up on his hand, his face basically hovering over Hao’s. Hanbin knew what he was doing, knew how easily Hao got flustered in compromised positions like this, and that Hao would give in without a second thought.
Hao gave him a playful glare, his smirk was so attractive and their faces were so close it just made Hao want to lean in and press his lips against his. But he couldn’t, not yet, he would rather confess first and hear those three words leave Hanbin’s mouth. “Just- You know- You know what I mean.” he looked away from Hanbin’s piercing gaze.
Hanbin leaned in closer, the blue on Hao’s face now illuminating onto Hanbin’s own cheeks and reflecting in his dark eyes, “I don’t think I do.”
Hao huffed, “You’re so…”
“Adorable?”
“Infuriatingly so.”
Hanbin giggled mischeviously, “So are you going to tell me?”
Hao blushed even deeper, if that was possible, and covered his cheeks with his hands as he spoke softly. He gulped back, his heart beating in his ears - at his and Hanbin’s proximity, and at the words that were about to leave his mouth. “I like falling asleep with you by my side.” he whispered, reaching up to caress Hanbin’s cheek.
It was Hanbin’s turn to get flustered now, his cheeks sunk into a deep red as warmth radiated against Hao’s hand. His gaze faltered for the first time that night as a shy smile overtook his lips. He fell back on the pillow, slowly embracing Hao again. “I like it too.” he said softly, still unable to hold eye contact for more than a second. Hao’s heart fluttered uncontrollably, still rubbing his thumb against Hanbin’s cheek.
Hao giggled, a new wave of determination strengthening his resolve, “I’d like to see you before I fall asleep every day.”
Hanbin looked up at him, “Then, sleep here every day, gege.” he pressed a small peck to Hao’s nose, “I- I want you to.”
“How much?”
“So much!” he engulfed Hao into a tight hug, sparking a fit of laughter from Hao at his silliness.
They lay there for a moment in comfortable silence, and Hao began dozing off again, but not before pressing a small kiss to Hanbin’s cheek, “Thank you, baby.” he only momentarily heard the small squeal that left Hanbin’s mouth before sleep took him again.
This time, he dreamt of glittery faces and unbridled smiles and the warm feeling of Hanbin’s hands.