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Kara’s love language is touch. She knows this about herself, and graciously accepts it. She is affectionate with both friends and family – providing and gratefully receiving hugs, light arm squeezes, shoulder pats. She takes her family’s motto, “Stronger Together,” very literally, and draws energy from their affection.
And when Alex knocks her over and pins her on the mat, sometimes serious, and at other times teasing, Kara hears, “I love you.” Even when the wind is knocked out of her (especially when the wind is knocked out of her), Kara hears, “I will do everything I can to protect you,” and she knows that it’s true. Alex beats her ruthlessly to improve her muscle memory and reflexes, and to ensure that Kara is as prepared as she can be for the battles ahead.
And while it’s the most exhausted she ever feels on a day to day basis, with the green buzzing glow making her slightly nauseous, Kara wouldn’t give up those training sessions for actual invincibility. The fact that Alex is willing to serve as her solid crutch in the event she needs to limp over to the UV bed doesn’t hurt either – both let her know Alex will always be there.
Kara didn’t know Jeremiah for very long, as he was recruited into the DEO and was away for significant periods of time shortly after she joined the Danvers household. Despite that, she has internalized the knowledge of his care and gentleness, and attempts to emulate it.
Although her control over her yellow sun-granted powers is much more effective than it was in her mid-teens, she wears his lead-lined glasses to this day, periodically grasping them to reassure herself when she is nervous and to reaffirm her gratitude for Jeremiah’s influence in her life.
Eliza is equally giving, perhaps even more generous because of what happened to Jeremiah. Whenever Kara needs reassurance, Eliza is there with the calming influence only a mother can provide. Her affection feels unconditional, and Kara revels in it.
Winn and James are more complicated. There is misaligned, unrequited romantic history between them, but Kara refuses to let it interfere with her ability to call them her friends. She smiles through it, treats them as the important family members they are. There are careful hugs, gradually losing tension with repetition. There are also high fives, congratulatory pats on the back, and similar symbols of simple affection.
And while some regret and awkward discomfort are present, they lessen each time a good joke is passed between them, with each shared victory, and with each occasion they resolve to put their history behind them. Kara doesn’t know what she would do without either of them.
With Carter, her dynamic is different. As Carter is a teenager, little more than a child, she feels the desire to protect him, to show him warmth in the way she still craves from her parents whom she dearly misses. But more importantly, she has to balance her enthusiasm against his comfort level. While affectionate with Kara, Carter is very sensitive to unexpected stimuli, shying away from it if he doesn’t feel comfortable.
So she keeps her movements slow, controlled, and always smiles brightly at him as they hug. He doesn’t enjoy people ruffling his hair if he can’t see their arms, but grins bashfully when she tucks unruly curls that he’s allowed to grow out behind his ears. The warmth that blooms in her chest when Kara receives those grins is worth every second of caution she painstakingly learns to maintain.
And Ms. Grant. Cat. At the mere mention of her name Kara’s senses tighten, oxytocin and endorphins flowing in equal measure. There’s an energy, a pull around the other woman which keeps Kara perpetually aware, alert. The ways in which they touch are varied, and each holds a special place in her soul.
While Cat has softened with her overall, she is still a woman who knows what she wants and has very specific tastes. And although she is supportive of Kara’s identity, actively seeks not to be controlling, Kara is nevertheless attuned to her opinions without her saying a word.
Whether Cat is particularly disgusted with or delighted by her outfit, it is expressed through her hands – when she disapproves, there are sharp touches at her collar and front edge of her sleeve, straightening and smoothing invisible wrinkles (Kara always, always keeps her clothes tidy and pressed).
When Cat is pleased with her outfit, on the other hand, the light strokes and caresses (or, on rare occasion, a squeeze!) are focused on muscle groups, mainly biceps and shoulders. And while Kara will never compromise her integrity or personal style, she relishes wearing certain outfits for the reaction she knows she will receive.
And while there are so many more options from which to choose, Kara’s favorite moments of touch are those simply labeled “afterward.” Whether they’ve spent the night in wild abandon, cuddling, or simply working in companionable silence next to each other in the kitchen well past when Carter has gone to bed, Kara feels most cherished after Cat has fallen asleep.
Because of who she is and how she’s grown up, Cat is very tentative about touch. Kara agonized over seeing Cat’s tentative attempts to reach out to both mother and elder son rejected, knowing that those rejections reinforced a lifetime of isolation.
All throughout her life, Cat has been denied physical affection, and she has learned instead to actively maintain the physical distance with both the sword of her biting wit and the shield of her constant indifference to other’s whims. Kara recognizes this and accepts Cat’s need for battle gear.
But after they’ve fallen asleep, Cat’s tentativeness is forgotten. When Kara rolls onto her stomach in the middle of the night, every once in a while her shuffling lightly rouses Cat, who in her still half-asleep state will rub small circles on her back, sometimes followed up with light scratching or a gentle kiss to her shoulder.
And those quiet moments in which Cat gives thoughtless, gentle love are everything to Kara – they reverberate straight into the core of her being. That she is willing to do so despite her history makes those moments all the more valuable to Kara.
So yes, Kara knows her love language. She is as thoroughly aware of her emotional energy source as she is her physical one. And she is grateful for those in her life willing to speak it.