Chapter Text
This early in the morning, the only people in Musutafu Public Park are joggers and the odd commuter cutting through on their way to a morning shift.
Izumi loves the park at this time of day, quiet except for the buzzing of insects, the music playing in her earbuds, and the sound of her and Hikari’s shoes slapping against the asphalt running path. Izumi takes a moment to soak in the beautiful morning, from the dew rising in light fog to the sunbeams cutting through the fluffy white clouds.
She can’t help but smile to herself as she takes it all in, feeling the urge to hum along to the upbeat song playing from her and Hikari’s shared playlist as they wrap up their route around the park. They made the playlist around a year ago, when they agreed to train together for UA’s entrance exam. Of course, back then, Izumi hadn’t been able to do much aside from direct her friend on what to do. For months after the… accident , Izumi hadn’t been able to do much of anything.
She glances over at Hikari, irrationally worried that her friend will somehow sense the darker turn that her thoughts have taken. She confirms that Hikari hasn’t suddenly developed a mind-reading quirk, and is jogging forward with a determined look on her face, lilac purple ponytail swishing behind her with every step.
Izumi shakes her head slightly, ridding herself of thoughts of what happened a year ago. A voice (that sounds a lot like her therapist) chimes in that it’s okay to think about it, to just be careful that the thoughts don’t take over.
“Izu?” Hikari’s concerned voice cuts through all of her thoughts.
Izumi hadn’t realized until now, but their run has come to an end. She looks up at the other girl, noticing the way her brow is furrowed. There are worry-wrinkles right above the bridge of Hikari’s nose that Izumi wants to reach out and smooth down.
That would be weird, though.
So, she settles for doing the next best thing: flashing her friend a bright smile and saying, “Sorry, Hi-chan! I got a little lost in thought.” When Hikari’s worry-wrinkles only deepen, she adds, “I’m okay, though.”
A suspicious frown tugs at Hikari’s lips, but she appears to push through her worry, reaching out to grasp Izumi’s shoulder reassuringly as she says, “Alright. You know you can always talk to me, though.”
Izumi melts a bit under her friend’s kindness, leaning into Hikari’s hand as she braces herself for the words to come, “I’m just nervous about seeing Kacchan again, I guess.”
At the mention of Kacchan, Hikari’s expression falls further into one of cold anger. Izumi knows it’s not directed at her, but she still feels jittery being in its presence. So, she does what she does best, and rambles on. The words seem to spill from her mouth, “Which is silly, because I’m about to take one of the hardest entrance exams in the country! I mean, the acceptance rate for UA is lower than any other school in Japan, did you know that? And-”
“Izu, breathe ,” Hikari cuts her off, pulling Izumi back to reality.
She feels a warm blush spread across her cheeks as she realizes that she hadn’t taken a breath once throughout her ramblings, “Ah, sorry Hi-chan. I-”
Hikari chuckles fondly, “You’re fine. No need to apologize. It’s just amazing how long you can go without coming up for air.”
Izumi’s blush only deepens at that and she looks away from her friend in embarrassment. She hears Hikari sigh, which is the only warning she gets before she’s pulled into a hug. Immediately, Izumi wraps her arms around Hikari in return, feeling like a puddle of emotions in her friend’s embrace.
“It’s okay to be nervous,” Hikari mutters into her hair, and despite every corner of her mind screaming at her that of course it’s not okay and you can’t be a hero if you’re still scared of Kacchan , Izumi finds that she believes her friend.
She closes her eyes and tries to focus on the feeling of having Hikari so close, but finds her thoughts drifting. She remembers how she felt, back then. The betrayal, the shame, the fear… But most of all, she remembers how small and weak she felt under the wrath of her supposed friend’s quirk.
“I… I don’t want to be weak anymore,” Izumi manages to mumble into her best friend’s shoulder.
Suddenly, Hikari is pulling back, holding Izumi at arm’s length and regarding her with a dead serious expression. “Izumi,” Hikari starts, and her voice is so grave, Izumi finds herself shifting from foot to foot, “In the year that I’ve known you, I have never once seen you as weak.”
A sad smile finds its way to Izumi’s face as she says, “Thank you, but-”
“No.” Hikari’s brow is furrowed as she continues, “No ‘but.’ You are the strongest person I know, and she has nothing to do with that. Your bravery, your strength and kindness, everything: it’s all you , Izu.”
Izumi finds that, with her friend sounding so sure, she begins to believe Hikari’s words. Not fully, but just a little. And that’s enough. So, she smiles, this time bright and without a hint of sadness, “You’re going to be such a good hero, Hi-chan.”
At this, Hikari’s cheeks take on a red hue and she glances away from Izumi for a moment before looking her in the eye with a smile of her own. Her smiles, true smiles, not sassy smirks or self-satisfied grins, are so rare, Izumi feels her heart stutter in her chest.
Then, Hikari says, “You too, Izu. We’re going to be heroes together ,” and suddenly, Izumi is ten years in the past, stomping through a creek with her best friend.
“We’re going to be heroes together, Deku! I’ll be Queen-Explodo-Murder and you’ll be my trusty sidekick!”
The tears come back in full force. Those words hit Izumi square in the chest, taking her breath away. She wishes things were different, that she could hear her friend’s kind words and smile. But, things aren’t different, and the twisted nostalgia and present endearment mix as well as volatile chemicals in a lab. There are so many things that Izumi wants to say, but barely manages a nod before the tears begin to stream down her face.
Almost as soon as Izumi starts crying again, Hikari pulls her back into another hug. After a few long moments, Izumi pulls herself together, sniffling away the last of her tears as she grounds herself in the feeling of her friend’s hand on the back of her head, pulling her into Hikari’s shoulder. As she comes back to herself, Izumi takes a moment to appreciate Hikari. She’ll always be grateful for her first real friend and everything she’s done for her.
“We’re so sweaty,” Izumi jokes, trying to bring down the emotions that are running so high.
To that, Hikari just squeezes her tighter, “You’re not getting out of this one, bitch.”
Izumi giggles, able to hear the smile in the other girl’s voice as she gives Izumi one last squeeze and then lets her go.
Hikari levels her with another serious look, “I meant it, though. We’ll do this together.”
“Yeah,” Izumi agrees, unable to keep the grin off her face, “together.”
As the two link arms and walk towards their gym to continue their workout routine, Izumi resolves to keep her promise to Hikari. They will become heroes together. Izumi will become the first quirkless hero. She will save people’s lives and she will do it with a smile. One that’s unwavering and bright, just like her dad’s.
…
When Izumi gets home that evening, all she really wants to do is go to her room and cry. It’s not that her day was terrible, or that she didn’t enjoy it, but it was just so exhausting . Not just physically, which, with her training, her days are usually physically exhausting. But, today was also emotionally draining. Her conversation with Hikari brought up a lot of memories; many that she’d rather not be brought up at all.
The lights in the apartment are already on, which means at least one of her parents are home. She flings her shoes off by the door and makes a beeline to her room while trying not to walk suspiciously fast. If her dad’s home and he thinks something’s wrong, he’ll want to talk about it. Which is fine, but Izumi can feel the way her breath shakes slightly on the inhale and the way she blinks a little faster. She needs to get to her room as soon as she can.
Just as she passes the kitchen and makes it to the hallway that leads to her room, a voice comes from the kitchen, “Izumi? What’s up, sweetheart?”
Izumi suppresses a groan. She knows her dad means well, but ever since the… accident , he seems to always be worried about her. Which is sweet, but the last thing she wants is to worry her dad. Not to mention that a concern question is often the last straw for Izumi, who has always been quick to tears.
“Noth-” her voice breaks a little, and she can feel tears begin to well up in her eyes.
Immediately, she hears two sets of footsteps hurriedly approaching her. Sniffling, Izumi turns to face her parents. Uncle Shouta would look stern to anyone who didn’t know him well. Izumi knows better, though. Her uncle is concerned for her. Her dad, Hizashi, is much more transparent in his expressions, a worried frown cut across his face.
“Little listener, what’s wrong?” her dad asks, holding his arms out to her in an offering of a hug.
Hizashi’s question is what finally causes the tears to start in earnest, blurring her vision and dripping down her chin. She practically dives into her dad’s arms, immediately swept by a wave of security and warmth. Mere moments later, she feels her uncle’s arms encircle the two of them, protecting them all from whatever may come.
Izumi considers her father’s words. What is wrong? Well, she supposes when it comes down to it, “I’m scared,” she admits in a whisper.
“Oh, honey, that’s okay,” Hizashi assures, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Tomorrow’s a big day. It’s normal to feel anxious before an entrance exam.”
“You’ve been preparing for this day for years, Mi-chan,” Shouta starts, and Izumi is struck by the use of her nickname. Her uncle doesn’t say it often, but when he does, it’s always special. “You have done all that you can do until you take the exam tomorrow.”
Knowing that she’s done all she can do is a bit overwhelming. It makes Izumi worry that she hasn’t done enough. But, even if the words themselves don’t make her feel much better, the sentiment does. Her uncle believes in her, and that’s high praise coming from Aizawa Shouta. According to the man himself, he only has faith in three things: his husband, his niece, and people being stupid (although he uses the word “illogical,” but Izumi knows what he really means.)
But, the exam isn’t the only thing bothering her.
“She’s going to be there,” Izumi states, feeling a bit hollow as she absorbs her own words. She’s talked and shared and processed with her therapist, but it hasn’t felt real in the slightest until now.
She feels her parents tense slightly and just knows that they’re exchanging a look over her head.
“She is,” Shouta affirms, something a little pained tinging his monotonous voice.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to-” Izumi starts, but backtracks. “I’m worried she might-” again, this isn’t quite what she means. “It’s going to be a lot, seeing her again,” is what she settles on.
“It is,” Shouta agrees, “but you’ve been preparing for that, too.”
“I have,” Izumi states, trying to take on a fraction of her uncle’s unwavering certainty that she is capable of doing this.
“And whatever happens - good, bad, or in between,” Hizashi starts, pulling her a little closer, “we’re here for you, Izumi.”
She nods into Hizashi’s shirt, sniffling a bit through her steadily slowing tears. A minute or two passes before her dad takes a breath to continue talking. She smiles a little when he starts in a playfully conspiratorial tone, “Not to mention, your uncle and I will be up in the evaluator’s room. We can always tweak the scor-”
“We will do no such thing, and you know it,” Shouta cuts his husband off sternly. Izumi can hear the smile in his voice, though.
She lets out a small laugh as she extricates herself from her parents’ hug and admonishes lightly, “Dad, you know that’s the whole point of me taking the regular exam. If I wanted help, I would have taken the recommendation exam. You and Uncle can’t score me at all!”
“Ah!” Hizashi flings a hand over his heart and swoons slightly with the drama of it all, “You wound me, little listener!”
In between giggles, Izumi can hear her uncle sigh, “Alright, that’s enough. Stop encouraging him before he brings the house down with his wailing.”
“Well I never-” Hizashi begins, refusing to drop his comic act.
“Really?” Shouta and Izumi question at the exact same time in wildly different tones. Izumi looks over to her uncle and sees his eyebrow quirked, mirroring her own.
Hizashi feigns a shiver as he looks between them, “You two are so alike it’s scary.”
“I guess sarcasm runs in the family!”
Hizashi nods sagely along to her words, then gasps with an apparent epiphany. “Izumi! I just thought of something you can do tonight to prepare for the exam tomorrow and prove your uncle wrong.”
A hint of anxiety worms its way back into Izumi’s mind before Hizashi continues, “You can get lots of rest!”
Any traces of worry vanish at her father’s bright smile and her uncle’s soft chuckle.
Izumi returns Hizashi’s smile and says, “I guess you’re right. Goodnight Uncle! Goodnight Dad!” She gets another quick hug from each parent before she bounces up the stairs to settle in for the night.
…
Izumi is starting to regret her decision to walk to UA. Her parents had asked and asked again if she was sure she didn’t want to ride in the car with them, but she insisted . This was something she wanted to do without them. She knows how much they’ve done for her already, and will never stop being grateful to them for making her a priority in their ever-busy lives. But, she also wanted to show herself that she can become a hero on her own merit.
As her anxiety grows, her surroundings seem to blur, then snap into stark focus: red roses being sold in a flower shop, a blonde woman’s ponytail, the flame produced by a lighter, everyone’s eyes on her. She feels like she’s been walking for a few seconds - and for an eternity - when she spots a cloud of lilac in stark contrast to the brick behind it.
“Hikari!” she calls, waving enthusiastically to her friend. The other girl’s gaze shoots up from her phone to meet Izumi’s. A grin slowly creeps its way across Hikari’s face. Izumi always tells her that when she smiles like this, the other girl looks sly, like the cat who got the canary.
“Izu,” she greets warmly, wrapping Izumi into a brief hug. She reciprocates readily, relieved to have her best friend here for such an important day. Besides, Hikari’s hugs are always great.
As the teens part, Izumi smiles up brightly at her friend. “Let’s go crush this exam!”
Despite all of her own worries, Izumi is certain that the other girl will do well. More than that, she knows that Hikari will get into the Heroics course. There’s no way she couldn’t. Izumi’s friend is one of the most heroic people she’s ever met, and she was raised by heroes!
“Well, if you say so,” Hikari drawls.
Izumi giggles, linking her arm with her friend’s as they continue on to UA. The two girls chat idly as they walk, although Izumi can feel anxiety creeping its way through her mind. She does her best to ignore it, but it worms its way into her jaw, her chest, and her hands.
She’s only distracted from the dread when she notices her friend has trailed off in her rant about how the entrance exam is clearly skewed in the favor of people with physical quirks.
She follows Hikari’s gaze and just as she is starting to process what she sees, the other girl says in a horror-stricken tone, “That’s Bakugou, right?”
Izumi looks and sees blonde hair. She’s staring right at her, and all the green-haired girl can see is red, red, red . All she can feel is her jaw clenching up, and she can’t speak, can’t breathe, can’t do any of this .
Izumi has been wrong all along. Her teachers, All Might, Kazuko , they had all been right. She isn’t cut out to be a hero, she can’t even handle this.
She knows that she’s hyperventilating but she can’t seem to get herself to stop.
Now all she can think of is the smell of smoke and the blistering heat of fire, explosions, and cruel hands.
She’s vaguely aware that she’s being moved, that she’s sitting down now. But, that’s all miles away. She’s underwater, only seeing the world through the distortion of the ripples and waves on the surface. She can hear her name being called, distorted through the tons of water above her.
She feels a hand on her shoulder, and now Hikari is there with her. She meets her friend’s eyes, thinking of how they’re the same color as the ocean when the moonlight hits it just right at night, “Izumi, count with me.”
This, she knows how to do, so she goes through the motions and follows her friend’s instructions. She lists things she can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste until she feels like she’s a bit more real, like she belongs in her body, not in some ocean a thousand miles away.
“You okay?” Hikari is concerned, rightfully so. Her hands are on Izumi’s shoulders, and her face is so close, Izumi can see the faint freckles on the other girl’s face.
“Is she-”
“She’s gone, took off once she saw you. You’re safe,” Hikari assures her.
A tinny voice floats up between the two, and only now does Izumi notice the ongoing call coming from Hikari’s phone, “Shinsou? Is she okay?”
Her uncle . Hikari had called uncle to help her calm Izumi down. Embarrassed, Izumi squeaks, which only serves to embarrass her further. She can feel her face heat up and tears well in her eyes.
“Uncle Shouta, I-” Izumi is cut off by a sob fighting its way out of her mouth.
“I know, Mi-chan, it’s okay.”
At this, Izumi notices Hikari’s brows raise in surprise. It makes sense, Hikari has never really seen this side of her friend’s uncle. Not to this extent, at least.
This observation coaxes a watery laugh from Izumi. Her friend looks even more surprised, and Shouta asks through the phone, “Izumi? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, Uncle, I’m fine,” Izumi assures, the worst of her attack over, “You just should’ve seen Hikari’s face when you called me ‘Mi-chan.’”
Nothing but terse silence exits the phone for a few moments, then, “Shinsou, if you breathe a word -”
“Yes, Shouta-san,” her friend blurts quickly, suddenly not finding the situation as funny.
“That’s what I thought,” Shouta huffs through the phone. Then, he addresses his niece, “Izumi, if you’re okay, I have to go. We’re finishing the exam set-up.”
Izumi hums in agreement, “Okay. I’ll see you after the exam, Uncle.”
Shouta hums back, then the call ends.
Izumi lets out a sigh, mentally assuring herself that the entire situation is through (even if she’s insanely worried about sharing a school with Kacchan, maybe even a class ).
But, Izumi can’t worry about any of that right now because she needs to get into UA before she can worry about seeing her childhood bully in classes.
( Izumi knows that Kazuko was more than just a bully. She just doesn’t like to think about it. Doesn’t want to remember it all: the conversation, the fallout, the months of silence ).
So instead, Izumi looks up at her friend, grinning through her thoughts: “You ready?”