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Buck hears Tommy enter the house, his boots heavy on the floor. “Hey, baby. You here?” He calls out, wandering further into their shared home.
Buck looks towards the man he’s shared 7 years with as he enters the living room. “Hi, Tommy,” he says, curled up on the couch. The TV off, and phone sitting on the arm of the chair where he left it after getting off the phone with Shannon.
Tommy groans as he comes to find a seat next to Buck, arm thrown behind Buck’s head. He pulls him in, kissing the pink birthmark on his forehead. “How was your day?” Tommy asks, after he relaxes back, glancing at the black TV screen. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just got off the phone.”
Tommy gets up, moving towards the kitchen, “You want some tea or something? I’ll start the…”
“It was my baby sister, Shannon” Buck said abruptly cutting Tommy off. He turned his body, so he was looking over the couch towards Tommy standing between the living room and kitchen “She’s getting married.”
“That’s great! I’ve always liked that Eddie guy. That’s really great.”
Buck looks at Tommy, a furrow in his brow, “Do you think it’s great?”
“Yeah,” he replied with a shrug.
“So, you think it’s great that they’re getting married, but you never feel like we’re going against nature or something by not getting married?”
Tommy lets a huff of breath out. “No, baby.” He comes back around the couch, finding his place again next to Buck, arm thrown back around him. “Going against nature is like that cat who started nursing that monkey. We’re just two people who aren’t married.”
Buck smiles, it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Right.”
“I honestly believe that the odds of having a successful relationship increase by not getting married,” Tommy says with a matter-of-fact shrug. “I mean look at my parents – all marriage got them was thirty-two years of misery and joint checking.”
“Yeah,” Buck settles, “I know. I get that.”
Tommy continues, “Like I’ve always told you – I love you – and we don’t need a marriage certificate to legitimize our relationship.”
Buck chews on his lip, looking into Tommy’s eyes, seeing the resolve on the issue at hand. “Yeah.”
Tommy kisses Buck’s forehead again. “Let me get you some tea.” He stands up, once again moving towards the kitchen, missing the tear that slid down Buck’s cheek. He quickly wipes it away.
________________
Buck’s standing by Hen’s desk, when he sees Josh coming in, a handful of haphazard papers in a pile between his hands. There are crumbs in his un-brushed hair, and a frantic look on his face. “Uh, everything okay?” Buck asks.
“Oh, I was up all night.”
“Please say you were working on the project,” Buck mumbles.
“Yeah, sure. It’s basically done. But this is important,” Josh all but scrambles into their space.
“What is happening with you hair?” Buck asks, moving to brush the crumbs out of it.
Hen laughs, as she watches the two of them fuss over Josh’s hair for a second. “What’s all this about then, Josh?” she prompts.
“I think I figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public? And he cheated on me? And then Charlotte from upstairs told us that story about how her boyfriend cheated on her at the beginning – but then he totally changed and they’re married and crazy in love.”
Buck hmms questioningly, “I thought that guy was a process server.”
“No, notary.” Josh looks at Buck like he grew a third eye for the mistake. “Anyway, the point is – Charlotte is the exception. Not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories – because the rule is that most guys who cheat on you up front don’t really care about you very much.”
“Okay…” Buck trails off.
Josh continues rambling on giving examples, and referencing his notes, but Buck can’t help and think about his and Tommy’s relationship. Seven years together and they aren’t married yet. Seven years, and all Buck’s siblings are married or engaged, and Tommy doesn’t want to have that with him. Is he the rule? “Okay,” Buck says, finally cutting of Josh’s ramblings. “So, let me see if I understand. What you’re saying is that when people tell me about some person they know who dated a guy for thirteen years, and then he finally marries her – that’s the exception.” Josh nods his head confirming the conclusion that Buck had come to already in his head. “And the rule is that guys – like Tommy – who are with guys – like me – for seven years without getting married – are never getting married.”
Josh’s head immediately starts shaking no, trying to back track out of his entire statement. Josh looks at Hen for help, knowing he won't be getting any there. “No. No, no, no. That’s not what I’m saying. It has nothing to do with you, and I was just talking, you know, about me. Specifically.”
Buck nods his head to appease Josh, but he knew it was about him, whether Josh meant it to be or not.
___________________
Buck parks his Jeep in the driveway as he watches Tommy work in the garage. To Buck, it looked like he was finally working on the island they talked about Tommy building for the kitchen. One they could move in and out of the corner for when Buck wanted to do some baking. Buck got out of his vehicle, moving towards where Tommy was working. Hearing Buck coming closer, Tommy looked up and said, “Hey baby, does this looks straight to you?” He looked back at the piece of wood he was trying to align.
“Why are you making that?” Buck questioned Tommy.
Tommy’s brows rose in question, “I told you I’d do it weeks ago. You don’t want it now?” He continued working on the piece of wood, even through Buck’s questioning.
“No, I do want it. But just,” Buck pauses, breathing out. “Just stop.”
“It’s too wide isn’t it. I knew I should have checked a third time – damn.” Buck was silent through Tommy’s mourning, even though Buck knew that it would fit perfectly in their kitchen. “Do you want me to do it again?”
“No, I want you to stop doing anything nice.”
Tommy finally looked up at Buck after he said that. “Is this a trick?”
Buck shook his head, arms crossing to protect himself from what he was about to do. “No. I need you to stop being nice to me – unless you’re gonna marry me after.” Tommy laughed. “Is that funny?”
“No. It was just – I was just,” Tommy stuttered through his sentences until Buck continued.
“See, you can’t keep being nice to me and I can’t keep pretending like this is something that it’s not. We’ve been together over seven years. You know me. You either want to marry me or you don’t”
“Or,” Tommy said, standing up from his kneeling position on the floor, “There is the possibility that I just don’t really believe in the concept of -”
“Bullshit! Bullshit for every person that’s been told by their partner that they don’t believe in marriage, just to see them turn around eight months later and marry some twenty four year old they met at the gym. Bullshit.”
Buck can’t help it, his eyes well up, and he tries hard to fight them back as he looks at Tommy. He looks stunned. Tommy moves towards him, his hands grasping his crossed arms, rubbing them, trying to sooth Buck’s hurt. “Honey, where is all this coming from?”
Buck breaths out. “From the place that I have been hiding from you for the last five years, because I didn’t want to seem demanding or clingy or needy or whatever. So I never asked. But now I’m going to.” Tommy looks a him, and Buck looks back trying to see the truth in his eyes. “Are you ever going to marry me?”
Buck looks at Tommy, watching his face as he doesn’t answer. The silence is so loud. “I can’t do this anymore.” Buck moves past Tommy, going to the house, and closes the door behind him.
____________________
“I don't know how you got mom to sew all these dresses in two weeks,” May said to Shannon, as Shannon folded the hemline of her dress to make it the right length.
“Athena wanted to do it,” she mumbled, the pin in her mouth impeding her speech.
Maddie laughed as Buck helped her zip up her pink dress that matched the one May was wearing. “Athena told me that she felt like you were using her for free labor.”
“No she didn’t,” Shannon said, blatantly.
Buck spoke up as he watched his sisters banter, “Why again do you need to get married so fast?”
May giggled as she said, “You’re so pregnant.”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“Chug a beer, then. I want to see you chug a beer.”
Shannon replied to her families heckling, “We’re in love, you assholes. That’s what people do when they’re in love – they get married.”
Buck felt the room freeze as he fiddled with the pink tie that matched his sister’s dresses, and would match his brother, Harry’s tie, as well. He was too afraid to look up. When he finally did, all of his sisters were looking at him with pity in their eyes.
Shannon continued, “Buck, you know I didn’t mean…”
Buck gave her a small smile. “It’s okay. Tommy and I are actually – done – anyway.”
They all looked at him with surprise written on their face, he hadn’t really told anybody. It being so new and all.
“Buck, why didn’t you tell us? You should have told us,” came May’s protests.
Maddie chimed in after. “You have to come over and have dinner with me and Chim and the kids tonight, okay? You can even stay over if you want.”
May bumped Maddie making her eyes speak for her, “Why would he want to hang out with us and our very married families? Seriously, Buck, isn’t that what you want to avoid right now?”
Before Buck could answer Shannon piped up again, “You know what – if being in the wedding is too painful -”
Buck finally found his voice and said, “You guys, it’s cool. I’m fine. So, I lost a little time. Big deal.”
They all chime in with agreement, and Buck agreed with their statements about being young and how the next relationship will be stronger because of this, but he had to get out of here. He made for the door, grabbing his phone and wallet from the table, listening to his sisters as the door closed, whispering about him wasting so much time with Tommy, and how they knew he was never going to propose.
___________
Buck was sitting through a grueling speech about Shannon, but also for some reason about him being back on the market, and being an older model. It was only interrupted, when his dad, Bobby, took the mic, finally putting Buck out of his misery. “Okay,” Bobby said, laughing into the microphone. “That’s enough of the speeches. Time to eat. So, enjoy the crab. And the yellow stuff is not hot mustard, it’s the crab’s hepatopancreas.”
There was a mixed reaction to Bobby’s joke, and Buck tried to make a sneaky exit, away from the crowds, and prying eyes. Buck felt Bobby catch up to him. “Hey, kid. Your cousin has always been a jackass.”
Buck smiled, “I know. And even he’s married.”
“So, you’ll get married a little bit later than some people. Big deal. You never did anything the way every one else did it, and that’s what I’ve always thought was so great about you.”
“I’m your oldest son, and I’m the only one not married. If this were the 1800’s you’d probably have to sacrifice me or something,” Buck joked.
Bobby laughed as his arm went around Buck. “Buck, look. When everyone else was just going to camp at the Y, you borrowed my newspaper, found some arts camp, wrote away for information, then got accepted on your own. You were nine. You never did things the way everyone else did.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s you. That’s why you’re my favorite child,” Bobby squeezed Buck tighter to his side.
Buck gasped at his dad’s words, “I don’t think you’re supposed to say that.”
Bobby laughed, “Well I don’t give a shit. I’m retired, and I’ll say what I want. I’ll say it into the mic if you want me to.”
“That’s okay.”
“It’s true, though.”
“I know.” Buck moves in to hug his dad, feeling a little more at peace since him and Tommy had broken if off.
_________________
The wedding went off with out a problem, but every single friend of Shannon’s kept coming up to him talking about this, that, and another thing. Most of them were weird and he just tried to avoid them as much as he could.
As the reception was in full swing, he did end up dancing with one of his cousins, Donna, Bobby winking at him as he watched him walk on to the dance floor. Donna’s perfume was very poignant and her dress was scratchy against his arm that lays against her back.
“So, where’s Tommy?” Donna asks, voice loud compared to the music playing.
Buck smiled softly, “Uh, we actually broke up.”
“No way. You guys were together for like ten years.”
“Seven. But yes, a long time.”
The slow music continues, as they swayed in a circle. Buck couldn’t help think about if Tommy was here, if he would be saying something sweet into his ear, or trying to get him to sneak into the bathroom for a quickie. When all of a sudden, there was a commotion in the main area of the reception room. Everybody stopped dancing, looking towards somebody on the floor, Buck moved fast, pushing his way through the crowd. “Dad!” Buck yells, kneeling on the floor next to Bobby, as he clutches at his chest. “Dad can you hear me!”
___________________
“Do you want anything else?” Buck asks Bobby, as he lays in bed surrounded by books, and old magazines. He’s in a Vikings sweatshirt, and has glasses perched on his nose.
“Yeah. Less of that cardboardy brown stuff. More regular people food.” Bobby grumbles, as he grabs for the newest edition of the newspaper.
Buck shakes his head at his dad. “The cardboardy brown stuff is called whole grain bread.”
“Maybe,” Bobby trails on, “you could just fry me up a couple pieces of bacon, and eggs, oh and maybe some hash browns.”
“People who have just had heart attacks generally are not advised to eat animal fat.”
Bobby smiles at Buck’s deadpan joke, and says, “Did I tell you that you’re not only my favorite child, but you’re also the best cook? So much better than any body else. I’m serious!”
“Sorry dad, it’s not going to work this time. But I do appreciate the effort,” Buck says as he clears the dishes from Bobby’s nightstand, heading downstairs. He picks up some other odd dishes around the house, with his sisters and their husbands staying at the house, it’s gotten quite messy. He catches Chimney, Maddie’s husband, watching ESPN as he walks by.
“Hey, Buck. Grab me a beer if you’re going that way?” Buck rolls his eyes as if Chimney doesn’t see him carrying a tray of dishes. “Oh, and a little plate of cold cuts if there are any left?”
He just keeps walking trying to find patience with their husbands. Also, along the way to the kitchen, he finds Shannon sitting on the floor next to Eddie, her new husband, flipping through his dad’s old vinyls. “You might wanna kill the volume just a little. Athena is finally taking a nap.”
Eddie looks up, flipping the vinyl he has in his hands and says, “You think your dad really wants to hold on to all these vinyls? My collection could use a bunch of these.”
“Turn it the fuck down.” The shocked look on both Shannon’s and Eddie’s faces brought Buck no relief to the tension building in the back of his eyelids.
Buck finally makes it to the kitchen, where there are plates stacked in the sink, practically overflowing onto the counter, used napkins sitting on the counters, beer cans lined up waiting to be rinsed and put in the recycling. He puts the tray on the cleanest spot he could find next to the sink, and talks to May and Maddie who are sitting in the dining room, “I finally got mom to lay down in the spare room. All we have left to eat is some old jelly and ramen noodles, so after I tackle some of these dishes, maybe we can go to the store. Our new brother is trying to co-opt dad’s property before he’s even dead. And Maddie, your husband would really like a beer to go with his fifth consecutive hour of ESPN.”
Buck finally looks up, and Maddie is pointing at May who head is in her hands, and her shoulder move with the sobs that wreck her body. “Oh, May,” Buck sighs and moves towards his sister. “It’s all gonna be okay.”
“What am I gonna do without dad?” May asks, lifting her head, so she could wipe her tears away.
“First of all, he’s upstairs watching Hotshots,” Buck says to May’s outburst.
“And second of all – you have us,” Maddie chimes in.
May hiccups through another sob, “But he’s always been-een the one who’s there for me.”
Buck shakes his head, rubbing a soothing hand along May’s back. “What about your husband? Where the hell is Ravi?”
May kind of looks sheepish as she answers, “Playing ultimate frisbee. His team may make the quarterfinals.”
Buck rolls his eyes again, as he hears the plates in the sink crash together. He knew they were stacked too high.
___________________
Buck walks downstairs again, another tray full of dirty dishes. He walks into the living room where Eddie, Ravi and Chimney all sit watching a basketball game, the volume loud enough, he’s sure the neighbors will be able to hear whats going on. They’re all yelling as one of the players does something stupid, he presumes. Buck stands in front of the TV.
Eddie makes a shooing motion with his hands, trying to see around Buck’s large stature, “Could you…”
“Did anyone have time to run to the store?” Buck’s asks the three men.
Chimney speaks up, also trying to peak around Buck, “Nah, we’re good. We just got drive thru.”
Buck sighs loudly at the admission, “I didn’t mean for you.” He walks off, annoyed and irritated that not only will he have to do the dishes, but also make a run to the store to get groceries for both Bobby and Athena so they won’t have to worry about it. He stomps into the kitchen, but pulls up short as he sees that most of the dishes have been cleaned, while the rest of them are being scrubbed by a familiar man.
Tommy turns around, throwing the dish towel over his shoulder as he finished drying the plate he had just washed. “I’m just finishing up the dishes. There’s a load of laundry still drying, but the other one is folded on top of the washer. I got some groceries, there is healthy stuff in there, but I also got some things that Bobby likes, too.” Buck just stood there, stunned. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but relief was the first thing that came to mind. “Maddie told me. I just – I wanted to help.”
The tears that brimmed Buck’s eyes started to fall, and Buck met Tommy in the middle of the kitchen as Tommy wrapped Buck in a hug. His big arms enveloped Buck’s back, his hands rubbing him, soothing his distressed sounds. “I know how much you love him, Evan. But it’s gonna be okay.” Buck nodded into the hug his face resting in the crook of Tommy neck. He never wanted to let go.
____________________
Buck walked up to Tommy’s boat where it’s docked in the moor. It’s swaying with the waves of the ocean, and he smiles at Tommy, as he looks up and spots him. “It’s been a while since I’ve been here,” Buck calls to Tommy, still standing on the dock. “Turns out – that boat in the next mooring, looks like yours. It’s not yours.”
“Oh no.”
“No,” Buck continues, waving his hands to deter Tommy from getting worried, “it’s no problem. Nice guy. Invited me in for white wine spritzer. I’m not sure he gets a lot of visitors.” Tommy laughs as Buck smiles up at him. “Can I come in?”
Tommy ushers Buck onto the boat, letting him look around as Tommy throws what looks like dirty clothes into the cabin, where Buck assumes Tommy has been sleeping. Buck takes a seat at the bow of the boat, waiting for Tommy to do the same. “I, uh, wanted to thank you. For coming by my folks’ house.”
“Of course,” Tommy says, as he grabs Buck’s hands, thumbs tracing over the knuckles as he continues. “I really care about your dad. And I really love you, Evan. Even if I can’t give you what I want.”
“You’re what I want.” Tommy looks at Buck, unsure if he understands what Buck means. “Our life together is what I want. Your love is what I want. Did you see those guys my siblings are married to? You are a better husband to me – without being married, than any of those real husbands will ever be. And that’ s enough for me.”
Tommy presses, having to know if they were on the same page. “And you’d really be okay if we take the marriage thing off the table?”
“If you promise to love me and be committed to me…”
Tommy cuts him off, “I always have…”
“Wait,” Buck continues, “I’m not done. You promise to sit through my info dumps at the time, and let me eat the pastries that I make in bed.”
“I do. I promise,” Tommy says, a big smile on his faces as Buck smiles too. They lean in and kiss after spending months apart. Buck feels like he can finally breath. “So, I get to move back in?” Tommy asks as they pull apart.
“I guess. But, you cannot bring those.” Buck says as he points to the pants that Tommy is wearing. They are atrocious cargo pants. They are dirty and must have at least five holes in each pant leg.
“What? You’re just mad at me, and you’re taking it out on the pants.”
“Look, I gotta win something. I let you win the big battle, so throw me a bone, Tommy.” Buck smiles at him.
“Okay.” Tommy’s hands go up in defeat. “We’re not getting married, but I’m chucking the pants.”
“Great. We both win.” They chuckle at each other, leaning in for another kiss. Buck can’t wait for Tommy to be back in the too quiet house.
___________________
Tommy comes into their living room, holding messily packed boxes. He sets them down, moving to sit next to where Buck has set up shop, folding the clothes that Tommy has brought back. Tommy asks, “How did all this stuff fit in here fine before?”
“I have no idea. It expanded.” As Tommy sighs next to him, Buck looks at Tommy and laughs. “There’s no way - you are not trying to bring these back in here.” Buck holds up the cargo pants for Tommy to see.
“What? I have no idea what you’re…”
“We had a deal. These are not staying,” Buck argues.
“That’s really gonna free up a lot of space. We can just store them horizontally, it’ll be fine.”
“They’re going. I have a bag I’m taking to donate.” Tommy watches him get up as he moves towards the bag in the corner of the space.
“Okay, okay. You win. Just check to make sure there’s nothing in the pockets before we give them away.”
Buck shakes his head, as he sticks his hand into the over-sized pockets of the pants, making sure there’s nothing in there. He feels a soft velvet box brush his finger tips. Shocked, he pulls it out, and looks at it. Then he turns, only to find Tommy down on one knee looking up into Buck’s tear filled eyes.
“I love you so much. So much. I want to make you happy. I need to make you happy for me to even have a shot at being happy too.” Tommy grabs the box from Buck’s hands, opening it to reveal a thin gold band. “Will you marry me, Evan?”
Tommy gets up from his knee, pulling Buck into a kiss. “Yes. Of course, yes,” Buck murmurs into the kiss.
_____________________
Buck and Tommy get married on a sunny day. It’s a small wedding with only six or seven people, and Bobby marries them as they throw their arms around each other, smiling into the kiss that binds them in holy matrimony. Buck feels all too happy to know, that Tommy is all his. Forever.