Chapter Text
In Clint’s humble opinion it was way too early in the damn morning to be awake but he agreed to this meeting and there was no rescheduling now. As silently as he possibly could Clint slipped out of bed, doing everything possible to not wake the sleeping Widow beside him. The last time he accidentally woke Natasha was something he would like to repeat..ever.
He quickly moved around the room, running a combo through his hair and making a quick trip to the connected bathroom to use it and brush his teeth. Not caring to change out of his purple sleep shirt and pants Clint put a pair of grey slippers on before making his way to the elevator and then down to Tony’s lab.
Like usual the lab looked like an organized disaster to everyone who wasn’t Tony but Clint could tell an effort was made for him. The normally loud music was much quieter and some of the currently unneeded machines were turned off.
He may not have talked to the genius very often in the few months of living in the tower but the small gesture was still greatly appreciated. Tony was one of the few who made any sort of effort at all and Clint couldn't help the small smile that appeared despite the slight exhaustion still eating at him as he entered the lab.
Clint walked over to the bench Tony was situated at after being invited in and looked down at the two small devices laid out on the table. “So run me through the exact benefits of these again? I know they’re better or whatever but it is way too early for more than that.”
Clint’s tone, while tired, was still friendly enough that Tony grinned when he turned to face the archer and explain the upgrades. “These babies are top of the line excellent made by yours truly. They have a built-in mission mode for team communication, noise amplifying and dampening, a silent mode for no noise, and my personal favorite, the ability to translate 50 languages, more to be added. My genius really knows no bounds, doesn’t it?” As usual while explaining an invention, especially one he was proud of, Tony gestured while he spoke, not paying close attention to where his hand were moving.
But unfortunately for Tony, the validation he was searching for when the explanation finished would never come since Clint seemed to be almost frozen, watching Tony with a practiced caution.
As with most things he didn't immediately understand, Tony’s first action was to glance up at the ceiling and ask Jarvis what had happened. “Sir, it seems that Clint is in a frozen state, triggered when you moved your arm closer to him than what most would deem socially acceptable.”
It was in those first few days of moving in to the tower that Clint requested to not be called Barton by anyone. He offered no explanation as to why, but the far off look in his eyes combined with the fierce protectiveness in Nat’s made it so no one would dare use Clint’s last name on purpose. There were a few slip ups in the early days but most of the times Clint would just brush it off and go on with his day.
It took Tony an almost disturbingly short amount of time to realize why the archer froze as he did and he almost swore at himself for not realizing it sooner.
The fact Clint traveled through the Tower with a rehearsed caution, always just out of arm's reach of anyone who wasn’t Natasha. He was always watching for where the exit was and oftentimes used carefully crafted sentences to not make people upset in a way that was far too similar to both how Tony grew up and acted after Afghanistan. Not to mention mention the affinity that Clint had for staying in the vents where he could see and hear everything going on in the arm while being out of reach.
He had never confirmed or denied it but Tony wouldn’t be surprised if Loki had abused Clint during his time under the gods’ control. Most of the team never asked and Clint never offered the information so it stayed a secret. The only one to know anything was of course Natasha, when Clint couldn't, or wouldn't sleep and was safe to whisper truths under the cover of quiet nights.
It was with a brief flare of alarm did Tony realize Clint was still not moving, though his eyes looked a little more present than at the start of this mess. While it was accidental, Tony's silence and stillness allowed Clint to begin trying to regain control over his emotions. “Hey- are you good? Wait, I mean, of course you're not but you still here..damn I’m really not good at this-" Tony cut himself off with a short, nearly self deprecating chuckle not wanting to inadvertently make the situation any worse than it already was.
"Alright uhhh..” Tony paused again as he tried to think of something, anything comforting to say here even if he really was bad at this sort of thing. The only people he really let calm himself down were Pepper and Rodney and he couldn't exactly use either of their strategies for this. Not for the first time did Tony silently wish that he was better when it came to honest communication with another person.
It seemed luck was on his side after all because Clint looked at him, giving the smallest nod that Tony took as a sign to keep talking. Now just talking, that was something perfected years ago and would always know how to do.
“Okay yeah, I can do that. You know you have to be fine because I really don’t want to tell our resident Widow I broke you. You too are like super crazy protective of each other but y'know, I get it. Pep and my Honeybear were the same after the whole unplanned cave vacation, maybe even a little before that. Honestly it was a bit much but I won’t complain...at least not to them.” He would never admit it out loud but the fact that those to stayed, even after everything was one of the few things that got Tony through the months after Afghanistan.
After at least another five minutes of Tony rambling on about whatever topic came to mind, Clint was able to breathe normally again and seemed to have stepped back into reality.
“Sorry about all that no one...no one was ever supposed to see me like that, hell I don’t even love Tosh seeing me like that and she knows me better than I know myself sometimes.” Clint finished his statement with a short sigh, averting his eyes from Tony’s and fidgeting slightly in an attempt to distract his mind. A small part of his mind wondered if this would be it, Tony saw how broken he was and now he would be like most people and drop him. The larger, much more logically side of his brain said that wouldn't happen, that Tony really was his friend but even on the best days it wasn't always easy to listen to that voice.
A part of Tony’s mind wondered just how long Clint and Natasha have known each other to be that close but even he knew that wasn’t important at the moment as he looked at Clint, more serious and reflective than Clint had really ever seen before. He wasn't completely sure but the archer also thought he saw a glimpse of understanding in Tony's eyes.
“I get it, the flashbacks, flinching..it’s nothing new to me. My old man wasn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows, not to mention the cave and everything after…but! Talking or whatever is supposed to help, not that I think it will or anything, just y’know if you ever get bored talking to your bestie..”
Tony trailed off at the end of his little speech, suddenly unsure of if this would even help or if Clint would think he was just being insincere, it’s not like he ever made an effort before to bond with most of the Avengers. Well, other than Bruce and even then most of their conversations were about science. Nothing honest or deep like he was attempting to be now. It was new and a little weird but Tony couldn't lie..it almost felt nice in a slightly morbid way, knowing someone could relate.
Honestly he wouldn’t mind having someone to actually talk to since he didn’t want to bother anyone else with his problems. It didn't matter how many times Pepper and Rodney had asked him or reassured Tony that could go to them. He hasn't been able to bring himself to fully honest when he knows that neither of them could truly understand his many issues.
He could deal just fine on his own and maybe if he told himself that enough times it would become true.
Clint was a little surprised, but ultimately grateful and accepting of the offer. Talking to Nat was great but he didn’t want to always bother her when she her own problems to deal with and his wife had enough with the kids and him not always being there to add his old problems on top of everything. Not that either women would ever turn him away or refuse to help, he just didn't want to be a burden to them in any way.
This arrangement may not last forever, hell Tony may not have even been completely serious but the offer was there and he knew better than to let an opportunity go to waste. “You know what Stark, I think I may just take you up on this whole thing. I want the others to know about as much as you probably do so how about we disguise it with you showing me how to make different trick arrows?”
“I love it! Take a seat my fine feathered friend and I’ll show you the magic known as the best tech in the world!” Clint couldn’t help but to roll his eyes a bit at the nickname but the smile on his face as he sat down showed how he really felt as he started to listen to Tony explain the basics to him.
Maybe waking up at an ungodly hour wasn’t all bad if it led to this a little more often. But seriously, he refused to wake this early again and made sure any every future meeting with Tony was a more humanly reasonable hour of the day.