Chapter Text
"Its raining".
"I know"
"Won't you come back in?"
"I can't"
Because even if the rain drops are pouring down on him, sinking into his skin like prickly needles, it doesn't sting as much as the throb of his heart that beats heavily. It hurts, it hurts.
"It hurts so much hyung" he whispers, breath coming out in a misty haze as he exhales, uneven. He feels like he might suffocate, like he might drown. His body is too heavy, so heavy, and he is so tired. Just like that, his body shuts down and his legs gives out, and he feels himself crumbling down.
Fall, fall, fall. And it becomes all black as he hits the ground.
-
Its the opening day of Butterfly Factory, and to say that Yoongi is hyped would be a little farfetched. So okay, maybe he's a little excited, they've worked hard for this afterall, but it doesn't mean he's bouncing off the walls with joy.
He knows how much this means for them
How much planning and saving has been placed into the entire operation. Itll work, he's sure. How once the money started rolling in from Butterfly Factory, their divergence from the dirty works would come sooner.
He knows how's badly Seokjin wants this. Knows exactly how much the elder wants to pull Cypher away from the drugs, arms and hits.
Its the basis of any gang really, its the only few ways streets gangs can survive without extortions, theft and human trafficking, but Seokjin is determined.
"We may be a gang yes," Seokjin had said one time, standing firm as he addressed each member of Cypher with a tone that no one dared defy "but if you're going to tell me that you truly enjoy doing such businesses then leave". No one had stepped out.
There's an endless stream of people queueing in, all party-goers that's dressed fancy and hyped up. Its well in the middle of the night and the club is at its utmost peak. The dancefloor is packed and the bars were lined up with willing customers.
Its all well, and everyone are in their celebratory mood.
Then shit went to hell.
Maybe it was expected really. They should've known well enough that the other gangs would attempt to fuck up their opening night. Seokjin had even brought up more arms around the perimeter just to be sure, but nothing could have prepared them for when two trucks pulled over their sideway and starting firing.
The glass walls shattered, pouring bits of sharp pieces over the entrance way. There was screaming, so much screaming, as the people watched their companions collapse on the floor, wounded. It was utter chaos. The crowd was in a panic and everyone in a frenzy, crouched and afraid for their lives.
It was only a matter of seconds before the gunners pulled up and drove away, but the damage was already done.
-
The hall was silent, and no one dared speak aloud. There's an utmost gloom that hangs heavily in the air , and Yoongi feels like its a setting akin to one of a funeral.
11 casualties and $12,000 worth of property damaged. Those were just figures though, because the real thing at stake was the damage in the reputation of both Butterfly factory and Cypher.
Seokjin is eerily silent, and Yoongi knows well enough that this is his purest form of anger.
Hoseok and Namjoon are crouched a distance away, flanked at each side of their leader whilst Jeongguk stood a little far off from where Yoongi was, eyes wide and blank as he fiddled with his pocket knife.
When sharp hazel eyes flicker, Yoongi knows that a decision has been set.
"Cypher, listen closely" there's a fierce glint in Seokjin's eyes that runs a shiver of delight up Yoongi's spine. His voice is cold and toneless, his intentions lethal.
"When B-Free pulled the little stunt of his, he knew very well what he was trying to gain." Seokjin rises slowly from his seat, like a snake slowly uncoiling as it approaches its prey.
"He barged into our turf, shot down our men and disrespected us so blatantly. Are we going to take this quietly?"
There's a loud roar of "no" that makes Yoongi's blood boil with excitement. His finger twitches right, itching to wrap around the gun that was tucked in his coat.
"So what are we going to do?" Seokjin chuckles, a chilling smile on his face.
"When one starts a battle with Cypher, we bring them a war".
-
There's more ammunition in the house than Jeongguk's ever been exposed to in his two years with Cypher, and that's saying a lot since Cypher is a gang that's most notorious for smuggling of arms . Laid out like prizes on the table, the black and steel glosses in the white lighting of the room.
There's a matching grin on Yoongi and Hoseok's face, both downright murderous and frighteningly wide. Jeongguk isn't far off though, because just thinking about their little plan of revenge makes his own lips curl up cruelly and Jeongguk finds himself brimming with anticipation.
"Ready?" Seokjin had asked, hazel eyes sharp as it flicked through his men, his army.
They've brought at least a quarter of their men from the base and two of their finest section leaders were leading this run.
"Damn ready" Jeongguk replied, giving the elder a nod before he leapt onto the back of their truck. Yoongi and Hoseok waves from their place in the vans before slamming the door shut. Namjoon pushes off from where he was leaning, dimple denting as he chewed on a toothpick.
"Go" comes Seokjin's command, and the gears shift.
-
Its mid time when they arrive, and the streets are cleared of nearly every sign of life. Its what happens when the neighbourhood you live in is ruled by a vicious gang. One becomes too afraid to leave their houses, shaking in terror in every time they hear a rustle at the back of their yard. Crime is at an all time high and the roads become dangerous during the night when darkness crawls in every corner.
Their vehicles move fast, splitting and covering the perimeters of B'free's territory. Its risky, seeing as they are visually vulnerable since they've crossed their borders, but Namjoon isn't their strategist for show, and all of Cypher now knows each lane like the back of their hands.
The painters move fast, spraying over each tag with their own and quickly moving on silently to the next. Its all a high speed mission and by the time the hour is up, every tag in the area has been covered with Cypher's.
When the clock hits one, Jeongguk moves.
B-free's men are easily identifiable; white patterned scarf tied around their necks or arms is a sure giveaway.
Jeongguk spots them easily. Am idling group of twelve that lurked around the back alley near their hideout. They seemed off, some pacing in rounds while others were cackling at absolutely nothing. Drugged, Jeongguk realizes and grins because that means making pass them will be much easier. The minute hand moves and Jeongguk gives his signal.
He sees two of them fall motionless as his group unloads their rounds from the back of the lorry. Jeongguk and two others quickly drag the oil barrels from their hiding spot behind the alley and rolls them to the doorway of the base. They make a run back to the lorry quickly and easily after that, just in time to avoid the new batch of men that comes after them.
When the people in the hideout arrives with guns, Jeongguk doesnt waste time waiting. He quickly fires at the oil barrels, puncturing through thin metal and the result is instantaneous. There is a loud combustion as the barrels set aflame and Jeongguk can feel the heat from the flickering flames, even from this distance. Even though his ears are slightly ringing from the explosion, the exhilaration leaves him chilled and striving for more.
Their van moves off swiftly when more of B-free's men arrives. There's bullets denting the side of the lorry, and Jeongguk has never been more glad for bullet proofed creation. The last thing Jeongguk sees as their lorry drives off into the night, is the fiery burning red tainting the black sky as the fire spreads.
There's pure adrenaline rushing through his veins and Jeongguk can feel the high of it. The rest of his crew are hyped as well, and they celebrate their victory as their vehicle crossed back the borders and into their own turf.
-
"Well done" Seokjin praised, hazel eyes now glittering with satisfaction as all of their troops returned, some slightly charred but mostly unharmed.
A total of eight trucks and 2 vans had been sent out, each with a different target location.
Jeongguk had been excited from the moment Namjoon had carefully laid out his plans in front of them, going through the routes and instructions in clarity. Its amazing how well-sourced Namjoon could be, having the capability to dig out information that were usually imoossible to retrieve. The aim was clear, go all out , cause havoc, and make a statement.
In less than two hours, Cypher had successfully defaced more than 40 percent of B-free's properties, damaged nearly half of their base and killed more than a fifth of their men. They had managed to exceed the expectations of Seokjin, and their leader's smile widens each time a troop reported back of their results.
"As per Namjoon's request, I made a little something special" Hoseok said, lips stretched thin into a curve as he showed their leader the picture he had so kindly taken as a token of commemoration.
There's loud wheezing laughter from their leader as he broadcasted the image, displaying it in full on their screen for all to see.
"Mess with Cypher and get burned" the bolded graffiti text in hues of striking blues and red was a masterpiece, and Jeongguk chuckled when he realized that the piece was sprayed directly at the side wall of B-free's main base.
There must be a record somewhere, Jeongguk thinks, for a list of badassery moments of Cypher and their achievements, and he's sure that if there is, this event will surely make it to the top ten.
-
There's an extremely pleasing sensation that runs through his body when the steel of his switchblade cuts swifty through the plastic layering of the dummy. Jeongguk imagines spurting red, and the flick of his wrist turns into chopping motions.
Although Hoseok's lesson of "you can have a preference, but you can't always afford to have a favourite" was deeply embedded in his head, Jeongguk still favors a nifty pocket knife to anything else.
He knows Hoseok is the same as well, if the way his eyes shone when Yoongi had presented him with a engraved set of rare blade set were any hint.
Guns are mostly loud and brash. While each shot made can be fatal if in the hands of a skilled, Jeongguk widely prefers the blades that are quick, silent and deadly all the same.
"Like teacher, like student" Namjoon had said one time, and even though the elder probably meant it as a tease, Jeongguk refused to accept it as anything other than a compliment.
Hoseok was nothing less than top notch in every skill requirement. From shooting to knife handling and even heavy arms, adaptibility was Hoseok's forte.
When Jeongguk had easily surpassed the expectations of his peers and smoothly climbed his way through their ranks and gained respect, the others had then dubbed him "Golden Maknae", but not without a little resistance.
He learnt fast and picked up things at a tremendous speed.
"You're the best student I've had so far" Hoseok had admitted, just after Jeongguk finally managed to tear through all the targets with his bullets, filling their head with holes like cheese.
There was undeniable pride in Hoseok's voice when he said it and Jeongguk couldn't help the small tint of red that he knew had coated his cheeks and ears.
"It's only because I have a good teacher" he had returned, only for Hoseok to deny and refuse each praise Jeongguk had tried to give.
"Its because he doesn't understand just how damn good he is " Yoongi had explained one time, face smudged with a hint of high regard as they watched Hoseok go through one gun to another like flipping a page in a book.
"But that's also why his opponents never ever see what's coming" Yoongi added, flashing him a smirk when Hoseok not surprisingly, pierced a holed through each target with ease.
-
There's a rule somewhere in Cypher's official list of commandments, Jeongguk knows, about the loyalty of a subordinate to their superior, direct or not.
And somewhere below that rules, written in small bolded letters, are the consequences should one break this rule.
There's a very tense atmosphere as the words had been thrown out, careless and easily snapped , as the fool claimed his uncertainty in his section leader's ability.
"I don't see what's so great about him" were the exact words that were said, and Jeongguk finds himself pushed back by Namjoon when he had nearly rushed forward in his haste to wipe the sneer of the guy's face.
Because how dare he, how dare this incompetent trash question when he was in no position to.
Seokjin looks calm, completely unimpressed as the man continued to slur insults about Hoseok, his own trusted family member.
"I propose a challenge" came the stand, and Jeongguk has never wanted so much to feel blood on his hands.
Its a rare in Cypher, where loyalty , brotherhood and family is everything, to have someone, much less one of their own, questioning the rights of their leader.
"I challenge Jung Hoseok, to an unarmed match" Jeongguk hisses at the disrespect in the guy's tone.
But of course every so now and then, comes the bad apple in the mass, dented and rotten to the core. Bad apples that must be plucked and hence eradicated.
He sees Seokjin give a glance to his left, measuring the look on Hoseok, and gives his conclusion.
"Your challenge has been accepted" Seokjin nods, and waves a hand in a command for the crowd of them to part like the red ocean.
"Hyung?" Jeongguk asks, turning questioning eyes to Namjoon.
Namjoon grimaces at him, and the confusion swirls rapid waves in his head. Jeongguk nods, swallowing the bitterness in his tongue and takes a step back.
Jeongguk doesnt remember a time when he's really seen Hoseok fight with his bare hands. He knows the elder prefers working with bats, knives or guns, and always has something lethal in his possession.
When Jeongguk had asked to learn hand-to-hand combat and street fighting, Yoongi, Namjoon and even Seokjin was always there to train and spar with him, never the other.
He knows there's been a rumor flying around recently, saying how Hoseok, an elite of the family has never been seen fighting bare-handed and might even be incapable to. Hoseok has never responded , and so till this day, Jeongguk isn't sure if the elder knows of such.
He sees Hoseok rise from his place, hands in his pockets as he casually makes his way towards the centre of their makeshift arena. There's a growing smirk on Yoongi's face each time his partner tosses an item to the floor; a small handgun, three switchblades, a spiked ring and even his tag necklace.
There's silence in the hall and everyone watched apprehensively as the two stood a bare metre away from each other.
With a nod of Seokjin's head, the guy begins to swing. Hoseok moves away easily and the knuckle that was aimed at his head sails past his face.
It gets aggressively one-sided, Jeongguk realizes, as the other continues his relentless assault while Hoseok dodges them with zero difficulty. The obvious difference in skills is too big to ignore, and the other finally seems to notice this, causing a falter in his step.
There's a twist in Hoseok's expression as he sees the opening, catching the flying fist instead of dodging, and the man gets spun into a chokehold as Hoseok forced him into a kneeling position.
"Kim Mingyo, you have broken the rules that you swore to live by. As your section leader, I will be responsible for your punishment" Hoseok's voice ring across the hallway, and Jeongguk has a flashback to when Namjoon had given him a one-to-one session of all the rules in Cypher before his initiation.
"Don't break them whatever you do" the strategist had warned, the most serious Jeongguk's ever seen him been "because if you do, not even Seokjin hyung can help you".
Hoseok lets go of the guy, sending him grasping on the floor for air. There's saliva pooling on the floor as he gasps, and Jeongguk wrinkles his nose in distaste.
"Stand up" Hoseok orders, and the guy quickly abides by crawling up on to his feet.
After seeing the guy stabilise himself, Hoseok moves. There's no chance , no opportunity wasted and Hoseok leaves no time for his opponent to defend against his attacks.
He starts with an uppercut and follows with a fist right into the abdomen that leaves the guy bent over in pain, blood trickling down his chin. The floor slowly gets stained with blood and spit after that, and the small dots of red peppering the ground becomes sprays and puddles with each of Hoseok's assault.
Jeongguk realizes now, how he had been worried for nought. He sees the startling similarity in their posture, the same practiced movements in each step, and Jeongguk realizes that there's no way Jung Hoseok, the person who had grown up side by side with Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon and Min Yoongi would be incapable of holding his own in a fist fight.
When Hoseok finally halts, his opponent is kneeling over on the floor coughing out spurts of blood and choking on air.
"Stop, please leader" the man rasps out, head bowed down in defeat as he begged for mercy. Its a sure white flag but there's no movement from the audience, even though the winner has been concluded.
Hoseok walks over to his abandoned possessions, slowly placing them one by one until he reaches the last of his knives.
"Rule #6, insubordination is the equivalent of betrayal" Hoseok's voice echoes out, his unsmiling face growing more chilling with each step.
"Rule #9, Any form of betrayal is unrepentable" the heel of Hoseok's boots clack as he comes to a stop. There's a pause before Hoseok throws his switchblade down to the ground, stepping away as the man accepted his fate.
"How will you show your loyalty?" Hoseok asks, ice cold obsidian that doesn't waver even when an answer is given. A loud scream tears through the mouth of Mingyo as he pulls the knife deep into skin, sawing at the bone and severing his finger.
There's a number of people wrenching at the sight, the obvious rookies who has yet to stay used to the sight of gore and blood. The seasoned members neither flinched nor faltered.
Hoseok remains unmoved, no hesitance as he stared at his subordinate "when you challenged me, your superior, you inadvertently questioned the choice of your leader".
Mingyo bows his head, hands trembling as his blood smeared across the floor. Atonement.
Its cruel, all too cruel. Jeongguk knows that had this issue been a mere personal one, Hoseok would've been more forgiving. But this is the underground, this is triad life, and a person who has sworn himself to the life in a crime syndicate can never afford to be soft. When Mingyo made the fatal mistake of disrupting their order with his doubt, he had inevitably sealed his fate, because Hoseok will never allow anyone to shake even the slightest of their foundation, not when so much was at risk.
There's a set of rules that every syndicate goes by, sewn and imprinted in their veins. The rules are a base, a commandment to a religion, but unlike one where betrayal is forgiven, rule breakers here don't get second chances, and there is no road to redemption.
So for the stability of the gang, for the control and most importantly, for their leader, Hoseok will shoot down as many of his unlawful subordinates as he has to.
"Because you have shown your bravery, I will repay your efforts by showing mercy".
There's a click when Hoseok unlocks the safety of his gun and raises his hand in a trained motion.
This is not a challenge, Jeongguk realizes belatedly, it never was. This was a clear presentation, to not only Mingyo, but every one present in the hall, the red warning of what happens when someone crosses the line.
" Rule number #1, never doubt or disobey the Leader".
And bang, he fires.
-
Nothing's ever easy. Jeongguk has learnt this lesson a long time ago.
Maybe he's being a bit cynical, maybe the world isn't a dull and hopeless as he thinks it is. But Jeongguk only says and feels as how it is, and life has never given him a reason to change his ways. So Jeongguk never bothers, because if anything, he has learnt that living is just a pinwheel of grey, disappointment, and its better to just get used to it.
When he was three, he would cry whenever he heard raised voices from the other room. He had been terrified then, still an innocent that was unknowing of how cruel the world could be, unknowing of how the yelling was just the beginning.
When he was seven, he would tremble, crouched in the small corner of his room as he waited for the swearing to stop. He wasn't as innocent then, but he was naive, because he thought that everything would be better.
When he was twelve, he had mastered the skill of pretend. Pretend that he doesn't hear the smashing of objects, doesn't hear the loud thudding against the wall or his mother screaming. He was neither innocent nor naive, but he was far from being prepared for what was about to happen in the alley.
As much as Jeongguk can argue, to say that if what had almost happened hadn't, he would've never been able to meet them, Jeongguk also has to begrudgingly admit that its mostly where his fear stems from.
Jeongguk will always remember, the sinking feelinh at night when he's alone, the creeping hands he feels under his covers that seers on his skin.
More than often he finds salvation in another's company. More than often he finds himself in tears, clutching for dear life to Hoseok until the other wakes.
He knows that the others are aware, even if they neither speak nor ask about it. There's comfort in the way in they shield him when they walk in a crowded street. The subtle way when Yoongi would step in front of him whenever someone stared too long.
His nerves are soothed in day time ehen he knows he's never alone, and there's always someone looking out for him, but come night time, Jeongguk can't help the crippling sense of anxiety that haunts him.
"I'm here" the elder would whisper to him, wrapping firm arms around him and pressing warmth back into Jeongguk's fingers.
"You're safe" Jeongguk knows is what he means each time he presses a kiss to soothe the crawling sensation under his skin. The tear stains dry on his cheeks, and Jeongguk will fall asleep each time to the steady thump of his heart beat.
When Jeongguk turned fifteen, it all became silent. There's no shouting, no loud thumping against the walls and no smashing of wares when he steps through the doorway. Its quiet, eerily so. When he finds the two prone figures lying against the kitchen floor, he understands why. The tiles are red stained, as is the knife.
He felt nothing, like a bystander watching a slow-motion flick, emotionally disconnected.
The sirens flare, and the next thing Jeongguk remembers is being curled up on a bench in the police station.
"Are you okay?" Someone would ask.
"Yes I'm okay" he'd lie.
They'd speak meaningless things to him, whispering false comfort words that merely passes through his ears and doesn't reach his heart.
"You're going to be fine" someone reassures, "how do you know?" Jeongguk doesn't ask.
He doesn't know how long he spends there, wrapped up in a warm thermo blanket and trembling until a voice breaks through his haze.
"Where is he?" Hoseok demanded, and Jeongguk watched him tear through the crowd of faceless strangers mercilessly.
"Sir, you need to call down" , someone says, and fruitlessly attempts to hold back the man.
"Where is Jeongguk" the other growled. And even though there's animalistic ferocity in the way Hoseok bares his teeth at them, Jeongguk can only feel comfort in it.
"Hyung" his voice is weak and soft, even to his own ears. Jeongguk abandons the bench, blanket falling down his shoulders as he ran towards the other.
"Jeongguk" Hoseok's expression breaks into relief, and catches him easily into his arms. There's rough fingers brushing through his hair and a hand gripping him in tightly. The comforting weight holds him in tightly, and Jeongguk no longer feels like he's about to drown.
"You're okay, you're okay" Hoseok repeats, hands moving up to cup his face, and Jeongguk stares into the familiar comfort of Hoseok's brown eyes.
There's a thumb rubbing away the tears that Jeongguk hadn't known had fallen, but there's an honest smile that sneaks its way onto his lips.
"I'm okay" he nods once, leaning back into Hoseok's arms and hiding his face into the boney shoulders. Jeongguk feels tired, worn eyes slowly closing as he slips into a daze. It's dark again this time, but he feels the light seeping in.
"Im okay" he repeats, and this time he truly means it.
Jeongguk was fifteen when he became an orphan, having lost both his parents in a declared double homicide.
"Poor child" some would whisper, giving him pitying gazes whenever he passed the corridors. But they didn't know, would never understand.
Because Jeongguk was fifteen when he fully initiated into Cypher and finally found his freedom.
Nothing's ever easy, Jeongguk still believes. Life still is hard sometimes and things don't always go right. But maybe, Jeongguk thinks, maybe life is worth living if there are things, people, in yours to make it right.
-
"It's raining"
"I know"
"Won't you come back in?"
"Maybe later" he'll reply.
Because the rain doesn't sting anymore, and the droplets that pelt down no longer pierces his skin. His heart is beating steadily, softly and Jeongguk feels at peace.
There's a shadow that casts over his, and Jeongguk raises his head to see Hoseok standing in front of him, clothes slowly getting soaked under the relentless rain.
"It doesn't hurt hyung", Jeongguk says, watching as his breaths comes out in little puffs as he exhales.
Even with the rain coming down, and his clothes sinking heavily on him, Jeongguk feels light. Jeongguk is firm, and he wouldn't fall, but he knows that if he does, there will someone will always be there to catch him before he hits the ground.