Chapter Text
“Peter, I’m going to swear in front of you because what you are asking me is incredibly fucking dumb,” Stephen Strange said, staring directly at Peter.
“I’m just asking that you make the Avengers the best team ever! You know, so we can defeat Thanos? Like, if we’re not the best, then how are we supposed to defeat him? He’s got like a whole alien army and we only have like one alien,” Peter protested. “Why would you even have a spell casting basement if you weren’t going to use it?”
Stephen glared at Peter. “Fine. But this is the last time you ever ask me for anything, okay?”
“I just want you to fix it man, I mean, Mr. Stark is up there on that giant spaceship, and he told me that I can’t go with him because I’m not eighteen or whatever. That purple dude, Thanos, needs to be stopped, okay, Mr. Strange?” Peter said.
“It is Doctor Strange, and yes, I met the guy too. He took my Time Stone,” Dr. Strange gestured to the empty necklace around his neck.
“So? Will you do it?” Peter asked excitedly.
“Fine,” Dr. Strange huffed, swirling strange runes around.
“Wait! Can you include M.J. and Ned in that as well? I still want them to be part of an awesome team,” Peter said, interrupting Strange’s rune muttering.
Doctor Strange gave Peter another disappointed stare, but continued on with his runes, evidently including his exception.
“Wait!” Peter said. Doctor Strange sighed.
“What is it, Peter?” Stephen asked.
“I forgot,” Peter mumbled.
Doctor Strange grumbled something incoherent.
“I remember now! Can you make sure you include the Daily Bugle with that? I don’t want to lose my part time job with that whole not being a good team thing,” Peter said.
“Listen kid, this is the last thing I will change, okay? No more messing with my spell,” Doctor Strange said.
“Yes, sir,” Peter mumbled, looking at the ground. “Wait! This is extremely important! Can you include my Aunt May in there? She really needs teamwork on her side.”
Doctor Strange looked furious, until his spell began spiralling out of control, destroying the very building they were in. Stephen’s eyes flared as he shoved the spell into a box.
“You have no idea what you’ve just done, kid,” Strange said to Peter.
“Well, it can’t be as bad as-” Peter broke off, looking at the basement he was now standing in again. “How the hell did it come back?”
“I’m a wizard. Now go home, I need to figure out what you’ve stuffed up,” Doctor Strange glared at Peter, who quickly hurried out of Strange’s basement, and onto the streets of New York, which was filled with a bunch of random strangers.
“Mione? Where the bloody hell are we?” A red-haired boy asked the bushy-haired girl beside him.
“I think we’re in New York,” the bushy-haired girl replied.
“Now this looks like Zaun and Piltover had a baby,” a girl with long, vibrant blue hair commented, glancing around at the grey buildings.
“Come on, we just got to Long Island! Now we’re back here?” A black haired kid complained.
“This is not the Capitol,” a girl with a bow on her back frowned. “Peeta, why can’t you read a map right?”
“Wasn’t me,” the boy who Peter assumed was Peeta spoke.
“Who are all of you?” Peter asked.
“Well, who are you?” A sassy man asked, an NYPD badge around his neck.
“I’m… Peter Parker?” Peter said.
“No way! You’re Spider-Man! Amy, look, it’s Spider-Man,” the sassy policeman said.
“I’m sure you’ve just got it confused,” Amy huffed.
“No, he’s right,” Peter said. “But how do you know that?”
“Oh my god, Amy, Spider-Man is real! I’m literally meeting Spider-Man right now! Charles, hold me,” the sassy guy said, fanning at his face.
“On it, Jakey,” Charles said, wrapping his arms around Jake’s waist.
“Oh look, it’s the cop who made me spill my soup all through your Mum’s car, Schmidt,” a girl with glasses said.
“Wait. Hang on.” Peter blinked at the people surrounding him. “You’re Jessica Day,” he pointed at the soup-girl. “You’re Jake Peralta,” Peter pointed to the sassy policeman.
“Oh my god, Amy, Spider-Man knows my name!” Jake said, before passing out on the spot.
“You’re Amy Santiago, Charles Boyle, and you guys there with Jessica are Schmidt, Nick, and Winston, correct?” They all nodded.
“You must be Harry Potter, based on your scar, which by association, makes you Ron Weasley, and you Hermione Granger,” Peter said, pointing to the bushy-haired girl and red-headed boy standing next to Harry Potter. Hermione nodded.
“Oh my gosh. Hermione Granger? The Hermione Granger? I am like, your biggest fan!” Amy gushed, rushing over to Hermione who looked utterly confused.
“You said Peeta, which must make you Katniss,” Peter said, looking over at the girl with the braid and bow. “Then over here, you must be Jinx, and I want to say Vee? I’m not sure, I never watched the show.”
“Show?” the pink haired girl, whose name he still didn’t know, asked.
“Yeah, you know, Arcane?” Peter said.
“The Arcane is a magical realm only a few can touch, not something performed,” the other blue-haired girl spoke up in a very British accent.
“What are your names?” Peter asked, defeated.
“I’m Vi, not Vee, and this is Caitlyn,” Vi said. “You already know Jinx.”
“I’m just better,” Jinx grinned.
“And you guys, from Long Island. Percy, Annabeth, Grover?” Peter asked.
“Oh yeah, and Nico, Jason, Hazel, Piper, Frank, and Leo!” Percy said, gesturing to the crowd behind him.
“Oi, Seaweed Brain! Don’t give this random guy all our names!” Annabeth swatted at his arm.
“Right, well I didn’t read those books so I don’t know who they are,” Peter shrugged.
“Sorry? Books? What books?” Annabeth asked.
“Well, um, you see-” Peter was interrupted.
“Woo! Best night out ever! Aw man, how is it day already?” a man said, approaching with group of very drunk friends.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Ted?” a blonde one asked.
“That we all go back to bed and sleep?” a red-headed girl suggested.
“No! Come on, why do you always have to ruin things, Lily? You’re so boring now that you’re married,” the blonde one rolled his eyes.
“Hey, that’s my wife you’re talking to,” the other man complained.
“We know, Marshall. You’ve been married for a week. How could we forget?” the other woman in the group scoffed.
“Okay,” Peter sighed. “You over there. Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin and Barney. Join the collection,” Peter gestured to his mismatched group.
“You over here are from a book series titled, the Hunger Games. You are fictional characters in this world. Over here, you guys are from a sit-com called New Girl, where Jess moves into an apartment with three guys,” Peter said.
“Yeah, we know that,” Schmidt rolled his eyes.
“Schmidt, he’s just making it easier for everyone else. Shut up,” Nick said.
“Over there, you guys are from the TV show sit-com, Brooklyn Nine Nine. You are also fictional in this world. Here, you guys are from a book called Harry Potter. Shocker, right? My group of drunk friends at the back, you’re from How I Met Your Mother, another hit show. Arcane is also a hit show which you guys are from. And we have the Percy Jackson series which you guys are all from. It’s a book, not a movie or TV show.”
“And where are we from?” a deep husky voice asked.
Peter spun, finding himself face to face with the Justice League, more specifically, Batman. “Oh my god, Batman.”
“Oh my god, Amy, it’s Batman!” Jake said, who had just woken up from his fainting spell, only to faint again.
“Um, Batman. You guys are from comic books,” Peter said.
“Comic books?” Batman scoffed. “Please. That’s the most boring thing ever.”
“Shut up, Bruce Wayne, comic books are cool,” Peter rolled his eyes.
“Oh my god, you’re Bruce Wayne?” Superman laughed.
“As if nobody knows you’re Clark Kent,” Wonder Woman scoffed. Superman immediately shut up.
“Right. Everyone happy?” Peter asked.
“Well, in our world, you’re from a comic book,” Percy said.
“Yeah. Same here,” Hermione said.
Schmidt murmured his agreement. “I mean, uh, what’s a comic book?”
“Jake reads the Avengers comics all the time,” Charles said.
“What are comics?” someone else asked.
“Anakin Skywalker?” Peter gaped. “What has this day turned into?”
“Dunno, man,” Shaggy said.
“Shaggy? From Scooby-Doo?” Peter blinked. “Alright. All of you. Right now. Inside,” Peter commanded, shepherding dozens of fictional characters into Doctor Strange’s house.
“Peter, what have you done?” Doctor Strange asked.
“It was your spell! They all just showed up here!” Peter said.
“Is that Mickey Mouse?” Doctor Strange asked, concerned.
“What?” Peter asked. “I think I need to lie down.”
He fainted.