Work Text:
1962
Linda Valdini didn't like secrets.
Wait, no. Linda Packer. She was Linda Packer now, or Mrs. Walter Packer, if the new stationary set her mother gave her was to be believed.
Funny. She’d barely had a chance to use the last stationary set her mother gave her for her high school graduation, and it was already out of date. It was 1962 now, and Linda was a newlywed with a new name and a secret, on a fast train out of Reno with her man.
The ride to Los Angeles took just about a whole day, but she and Walt had fun with it, playing cards and Eye Spy out the window. Walt had a half-brother who lived down in southern California, a handsome man who took photographs for magazines. They put his name on the page and everything: Photograph, Ed Teach. Ed didn't share Walt’s last name, but Walt still tore through every motor magazine he could find, eager for another chance to point to where the tiny words read Photograph, Ed Teach and say “that's my brother!”
But Ed didn't know yet, that was the problem. He didn't know that Walt and Linda were married, and he certainly didn't know about the baby on the way. That's why they were going to Los Angeles, to share the joyous news in person. Well. That, and so that Walt could see a baseball game. But until they broke the news, Linda had a secret hanging over her head, and she didn't like it.
When they arrived, Ed was waiting for them. “Train station pickups- that takes me back,” he said with a wink as he hauled their suitcases into the back of his truck.
“I'll say,” Walt ran his hand admiringly over the glossy black hubcap of the truck. “You've kept Queen Anne shining like new, huh?”
Ed didn't even try to sound modest. “She's good to me, I'm good to her. Which reminds me-” he turned his attention to Linda- “I take it my brother’s treating you well? Being a gentleman, all that?”
Goodness, he really was a handsome man. His hair and eyes were dark like Walt's, but that's where the similarities ended. Still, every so often Ed tilted his head just so, or laughed in one particular way, and for a second the family resemblance was clear.
“Of course,” Linda drifted back to attention. “A perfect gentleman.”
As if to prove the point, Walt opened the truck door for Linda and took her hand to help her step in, before sliding into the bench seat behind her. She gave his hand a squeeze before letting it go.
“So how's the ranch treating you? You ever get that stable wall patched up?”
Linda had hoped that Walt would share their news right away, but no, Walt wanted to wait for ‘the right moment’, whatever that might be. So the two half-brothers chattered about this and that through the long drive to Ed's house, where he lived with a roommate. They both politely tried to include Linda, but she waved them away, content to listen as they caught up. Besides, she promised Walt she wouldn't spill the beans, and what if she slipped up and mentioned that she’d moved into the ranch, or that Herb was turning Ed's old photography darkroom into a nursery?
“Jeeze, this is some house!” Walt barely remembered to shut the car door, he was so impressed. It certainly was modern, with big picture windows and Spanish tile. If there were any houses that hip in Reno, Linda hadn't seen them.
Ed grinned as he pulled their luggage out of the trunk. “I like it, anyhow.”
When Linda saw how the house was decorated inside, the first word that came to mind was chic. It was airy and vibrant, with sleek, modern furniture that matched the curtains. It wasn't remotely what she had expected from a pair of bachelors living in the city. Maybe it was because Ed worked in magazines.
As Ed gave them the grand tour, he rapped on the door of one of the bedrooms. “Stede? You home?”
The man who opened the door was about Ed's age, and startlingly blond. “Walter!”
“You remember Stede Bonnet?” Ed asked needlessly as the blond man enthusiastically shook Walt’s hand. He wore a soft-looking short sleeved sweater, light blue, and it fit him perfectly. There was something about him- it was hard to picture a man like Stede Bonnet in Reno at all, let alone at the Packer’s ranch.
“Oh, sure,” Walt chuckled. “Good to see you, Doc. It's been ages.”
Stede agreed. “That's the truth! Look at you, all grown up.” He stepped back to take in the two of them together. “And this must be the lovely Linda!” He offered a handshake. Goodness, his hand was soft. And warm. Linda almost blushed. She shouldn't be noticing things like that about other men, especially not now.
As they shook hands, Stede’s lips parted in surprise. Gently, he turned their hands so that her palm faced down. “Is that-?” His eyes darted down to Walt's hand, too, and Linda realized what was about to happen just a second before it happened. “You got married! Oh, Ed, you didn't tell me!”
“They what!? ” Ed bellowed, right as Walt shoved his hands in his pockets, like he could stuff the surprise back where it came from and try again.
“Oh, dear,” Stede sighed and tapped his fingers to his lips. “I really should have kept my mouth shut.”
Yes, Linda thought, he really should have.
“It's true? You're married?” Ed was surprised, but he didn't look remotely upset. When Walt grinned and nodded, Ed pulled him into a hug and clapped him on the back. “Well, hell! How about that.”
Ed turned his attention to Linda, and she stepped in for a hug of her own. “Congratulations!”
“You don't say congratulations to a bride, Edward,” Stede said with a smile, “you say best wishes.” He gave Linda a hug and a kiss on the cheek, even though they were basically strangers.
Now that the news was out- part of it, anyhow- Linda felt a little giddy about it. She accepted Stede's kiss graciously and then held her hand out to show both men her ring, the way she'd seen her newlywed friends and cousins do it.
“Oh.” Ed cocked his head when he saw the ring. “Huh. Is that-”
“Mom's ring, yeah,” Walt shifted his weight between his feet. “Or, Mom's mom's ring, I suppose. You know. Pop gave it to me to give Lin. And first of all, I did ask, ‘what about Ed?’ That is, you're mom’s firstborn and all that. Pop only told me that he knew you'd understand, and I sure hope-”
Ed stopped Walt’s nervous ramble with a hand on his shoulder. “It's great, little man. Honest. Your dad was right. And mom- yeah, I think mom would want you to have it.” He shifted his jaw, the slightest movement, but Linda noticed.
“Have you taken your honeymoon yet?” Just like that, Stede seamlessly steered the conversation out of choppy waters. Linda could just about kiss him. “Oh, please tell me this isn't your honeymoon. I would have upgraded your suite.”
Walt chuckled at Stede's joke. “Naw. We're headed to Yosemite after we leave here- Linda found this little resort. But we wanted to see Ed first. It didn't feel right, you not knowing.” Walt glanced between Ed and Linda, his face shaded with guilt.
“Everything happened so quickly,” Linda explained, hoping it would help. “Just a little courthouse wedding, only Herb and my folks were there. Not even my little sister,” she hurried to add, “she's off at camp. It was that quick. We just… we didn't want to wait.”
“Hey, all right,” Ed held up his hands, as if he was pacifying them. “I can't hardly blame you. That's love. Once you realize you're ready, nothing can stop that train.”
Walt's face broke out into a grateful smile and he put his arm around Linda, drawing her in close. “Exactly!”
Something must've been funny to Stede, because he scrunched up his nose and exchanged a look with Ed, charged with something that Linda couldn't identify. All week, Linda had felt terribly grown-up, but now she felt painfully aware that she was just nineteen years old. It was annoying. She leaned into Walt’s tall frame and felt a little better.
A lull fell in the conversation, and Ed clapped his hands together. “I guess I don't have to feel guilty about putting you two in the guest room together, now.”
Walt laughed. “It's 1962, anyhow! Things aren't the way they were when you were our age.”
“No,” Ed agreed. “I suppose they aren't.”
Supper was ready by the time Linda and Walt had unpacked and freshened up. The dining room of Ed’s house was as modern as the rest of it: it was combined with the kitchen into one long room, and a big sliding glass door into the backyard took up half of the wall. With the curtains pulled back like they were, the whole room was sunny and the view of the garden was just terrific. The food itself was nothing special- they were bachelors, after all- but Stede insisted on breaking out a bottle of champagne to toast the newlyweds.
It was the first time Linda made real conversation with Ed, without a big group around. He was easy to talk to: not as crass as most of the men his age around Reno, and his work with the magazines made for some great stories. His roommate was friendly, too, and before long all four of them were gabbing like old friends.
“Lou Spriggs from Reno works with you at the college, doesn't he, Stede? One of his sisters was my babysitter.”
Instead of answering, Stede glanced over at Ed. Ed chuckled and shook his head. “What do I keep telling you? In Reno, everything is everybody’s business.”
“Apparently.” Stede's expression was impossible to read. “Yes, Lucius was my assistant until just a few weeks ago. He's… moving on to bigger things now, I believe.” He waved his hands vaguely, and Linda got the sense that it was a sore subject.
This time, Ed was the one to steer the conversation out of an awkward spot. “Look at you,” he beamed at his brother across the table. “A married man. I can hardly believe it. It feels like just the other day you were worried about catching cooties. Heck,I remember when you were five years old and you announced that you were gonna marry mom because she was the only girl you could stand. He said it in front of all the divorcers, too-” Ed added for Linda’s benefit- “They nearly made him their mascot!”
Walt’s face was as red as a beet. “Aw, c’mon,” he huffed, embarrassed- which had obviously been Ed's intention. Well, two could play that game.
“What about you, Ed? Is there anybody special in your life?” Linda knew how much unmarried men hated that question.
“Special?” Ed glanced down at his plate of food, like he might find an answer there, then looked back up with an unexpected, mischievous expression that made Linda’s stomach swoop. “The women out here in L.A. are beautiful, and they're fun, but they're not the type I see myself settling down with, and that's all I'll say about that.”
A blush warmed Linda's face. Even moreso when she saw Stede trying to contain a smirk. Obviously, those two were having a grand time here in their bachelor pad.
Innocently and as smooth as anything, Stede changed the subject. “So, Walt, do you still play the clarinet?”
Walt barked a sudden laugh. “Gee, how'd you even know I played?”
“I saw you in the Fourth of July parade,” Stede reminded him. “Back in ‘59.”
“You remember everything, huh?”
“Not everything.” Stede took a sip of champagne. “That was just a particularly memorable day.”
After supper, Walt and Linda quietly discussed when to tell Ed about the baby on the way.
Linda grimaced as she twisted off her rings. “It's a big deal to me! You heard how he talked about the girls out here. I don't want him to think I'm just another fast girl who got knocked up.”
“Hey, now,” Walt caught her hands in his and held them steady, and ducked his head down until Linda had no choice but to look him in the eye. “First of all, I'm not gonna let anybody talk about my wife that way, not even you. Got it?”
His wife. It all felt so real when Walt said it. “Got it.”
“Good. Second of all, Ed is family. That means no matter what. He's not gonna judge us. He can't. Family's family.”
It was clear that Walt meant it. He meant everything he said, really. It was one of the things Linda loved about him the most- no games, no maybes. You always knew exactly where you stood with Walt Packer. “Family's family,” she repeated. “No matter what.”
Walt beamed. “Besides, he's going to be so excited to be Uncle Ed that he probably won't even think about the math. You were worried about my pop, too, weren't you, and look how that turned out!”
When they told Herb about the pregnancy, he stood straight up and got his late wife’s jewelry box out of his closet. He didn't say congratulations, but he didn't say ‘get off of this ranch, foul temptress’ either. What he actually said was “I reckon you'll need something to propose with,” followed quickly by “Get on one knee first, kid.” Two days later, after the ceremony, he said “I sure wish Walt's mom was here to see you two together,” and for Herb, that was as good as any flowery speech.
Placated, Linda finished getting ready for bed. “We're telling him about the baby tomorrow, though.”
“For sure,” Walt agreed happily.
Mornings were hard for Linda, lately. She woke up just before dawn, sweating and nauseated and absolutely parched. Lucky Walt was a sound sleeper and he didn't stir when she slid out of bed. There were no cups in the guest bathroom, and cupping her hand at the faucet wasn't cutting it, so she quietly padded into the kitchen. It was odd, being the first one up in a strange house.
As it turned out, though, she wasn't the first one up at all. The curtains that covered the big glass doors to the back yard were pulled slightly apart, and through the opening she could see Ed and Stede sitting next to each other on a bench, drinking out of mugs and laughing. For some reason, maybe because of the morning light, Stede looked more handsome than he did the night before.
Stede gestured toward Ed's hair, probably pointing out something that fell into it. Sure enough, Ed tried to pick it out, whatever it was, but he couldn't find it. Stede tried again, and Ed missed again, and Stede's next move was to lean in closer and deal with it himself.
It was such a simple scene, just two friends chatting, but Linda found that she couldn't look away. She watched as Stede picked a leaf off of Ed's head and flicked it to the ground with obvious satisfaction. She watched Ed's face get all thoughtful and relaxed-looking as his eyes dropped down to Stede's lips. And there was that family resemblance again, because Ed was wearing the exact same expression she'd seen on Walt’s face a hundred times- always right before he kissed her.
So she realized what was going to happen just a few seconds before it happened.
Of course, it was still a shock when Ed pressed his smile against Stede's.
A shock, to say the least. Linda froze, unable to look away from- from whatever she was looking at. Walt’s brother, kissing a man. Walt's brother, holding the side of another man's face and kissing him again.
Walt's brother, spinning around on the bench and looking right at her, his eyes big like headlights. Had she made a noise? She must have. Stede looked at her, too, but Linda didn't get a chance to see what he looked like because she turned and rushed right back into the guest bedroom before the men could even stand up.
“You all right, sweetie?” Walt mumbled into his pillow when Linda slipped back into bed.
“Mmmm.” She stared up at the ceiling, wide awake, and certain things all started making sense. The unconventional friendship between Ed, wild and desert-tough, and the sensitive, cultured Stede. The way Ed was frank and friendly like Walt, but closed off at the same time. The whole house- with all the art on the walls!
Of course, she knew about homosexuals. In theory. But Ed wasn't anything like those men she'd heard about. He was- well, he was Ed. Just a normal man, and Walt’s brother, for heaven’s sake. Oh, God. What was she going to tell Walt?
The ceiling grew lighter and lighter as the morning went on, then even Walt got up, and eventually Linda couldn't make excuses to stay in bed any longer.
Breakfast was uncomfortable, to put it lightly. Stede didn't come out to eat at all, and Ed was obviously jittery. Linda was, too- at least Walt assumed that was because of pregnancy havoc.
When the bacon and eggs were all gone, Walt leaned back in his chair happily. “I think I'll take a shower, if you don't mind.”
“I'll do the dishes!” Linda leaped to her feet and started gathering plates, desperate to avoid being alone in a room with Ed.
Well, it was worse than that, because as soon as the shower was running in the guest bathroom, Ed and Stede cornered Linda by the kitchen sink. They both looked ready to give her a load of bull, so she decided to speak up before they had the chance.
“I haven't told Walter anything yet,” she said, “but if you think I'm going to keep any sort of secret from him, you can think again.”
Ed looked Linda over, his face unreadable. “That's good.”
“Edward!” Stede yelped like a small dog.
With a resigned shrug, Ed addressed Stede. “They're married. What do you want, I ought to tell my brother's wife to keep secrets from him?”
“No! No. Of course not.” Stede bit his lips. “Only–”
“Yeah. I know.”
Linda looked between them, a little baffled. Clearly they didn't know what to do any more than she did. But somebody needed to make up their minds about something , and as usual it was going to be her. “Tonight. After the game, you need to tell him. You need to, or- or I will.”
“What I need is a cigarette,” Stede grumbled.
Obediently, Ed reached into his back pocket and pulled out a silver cigarette case. He opened it and offered it to Stede, then Linda, before taking one for himself. He lit Linda's, then hesitated before lighting Stede's as well. Linda watched the gesture, made with practiced ease, like they'd done it a thousand times before. It brought her mind back to the kiss she saw through the glass that morning, just as effortless. Natural, almost.
Not natural natural, of course. Just- almost.
She clutched that cigarette like a liferaft and looked at them, unsure how to voice the question on her mind. “What are you going to tell Walt? I just mean- what exactly are you? To each other?”
First they looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Another silent conversation. It was Ed who answered her question. “We're in love,” he said simply, and Linda didn't miss the way Stede’s cheeks got a little pink, or the tiny smile that he shooed away before it could take over his face.
There was a pause, a nod from Stede, and then Ed continued. “I'm his, and he's mine. Been that way since we met, just about. That's really all there is to it.”
When he put it that simply, it was almost easy to understand.
Not easy easy. Just- almost.
The baseball game was a decent distraction. The three of them had terrific seats in the brand-new stadium, and Walt’s enthusiasm was so infectious that the tension in Linda's shoulders dissipated by the third inning. Still, her mind kept wandering to the problem at hand.
Technically, Ed was still the same man he was yesterday. He'd been living in California with Stede for what, three years? Four? And for all Linda knew, he was a homosexual even before he met Stede. She didn't know how it worked. Although, if she had to guess, Stede probably showed up in Reno from the big city with his spiffy sweaters and his soft hands and- did whatever it was people like him did to men like Ed to make them play for the other team. But it really was none of her business.
The point was, Walt was going to find out about Ed that night. And then Walt could decide what to do. Probably- hopefully- they'd all agree to simply never talk about it again. Let Ed stay a confirmed bachelor, as far the family was concerned. Maybe Walt would want to tell Herb, or maybe they'd keep it between the four of them. Linda didn't like secrets, but if Walt asked her to keep it from Herb, she’d do it. For her husband, she could do it.
Traffic was unbearable, and it was late when they got home- and to Linda's embarrassment, she had to rush to the bathroom as soon as they got through the door. God, in all of her stewing about the other secret she practically forgot that they still had to tell Ed about the baby.
When she came out, feeling refreshed, Stede was stopping Ed from leaving to pick up their dinner. “You've been driving all day,” he was saying, “why don't you relax with our- with your guests? I'll make some cocktails.”
“What's for dinner?” Walt asked, eyes on the prize as ever.
“Have you ever tried Mexican food?”
Linda and Walt exchanged a look. “No,” Walt said for both of them. “But we're open minded!”
Stede raised an eyebrow. “Let's hope so.”
They ate dinner with the back doors open, letting the evening air in. Al fresco, Stede called it.
“I’m surprised it's so dry here, being closer to the ocean and all,” Walt mused.
“Don't let the postcards fool you- we're still in the desert,” Ed said before crunching a tortilla chip.
Stede nodded. “You should try summer in Chicago some time- that city’s a swamp.”
Boy, did Linda hate talking about the weather.
“Next summer, Stede's going to Rome,” Ed said, out of nowhere. “He's teaching a class there.”
“Oh, it's just for a few weeks- part of my curriculum here at the college,” Stede was trying to sound modest, but modesty didn't sit right on him.
Ed cleared his throat. “Actually, uh. Stede and I are both going to Rome.”
Across the table, Stede went as still as a marble statue. By contrast, Ed was drumming his fingers against the table, all nerves. And bless his heart, Walt was oblivious to it all. “As in Italy? What, is the magazine sending you?”
Ed's chair made a helpless whine against the tile as Ed pushed away from the table. He crossed over to the doors and closed them, then poured himself another drink before sitting back down.
“I'm not going for work.” He looked at Stede- for reassurance, for confirmation, for something. Stede gave him a tight-lipped smile. Even Walt could tell something was up. He leaned back in his chair and waited for Ed to speak.
“I'm not going to Rome for work,” Ed repeated. “I'm going to be with Stede.”
Walt just blinked. “Going to Rome?”
“After his class is over, he'll stay in Rome, and I'll fly out to join him. So we can be together.” Ed opened his mouth to say more, then changed his mind.
Still sure he was missing something, Walt nodded slowly. He was a bright man, for sure, but he was obviously struggling. “Together… in Italy.”
Then Ed had the nerve to look over at Linda for help, as if she had the first clue how to talk about homosexuals. As if she had asked to be a part of this in the first place! Maybe it was uncharitable of her, but she looked away and took a dainty sip of her drink.
“See, the thing is…” Ed took a deep breath. “The thing is, Stede and I are together. We live together and travel together because- well, because we are together. Do you know what I mean?”
Poor Walt was watching his half-brother intently, like he was trying to pick up the television signal with a bent antenna. “Together?”
“Walter, they're lovers.” The words rushed out of Linda before she had a chance to think twice. “Ed and Stede are lovers. Oh, and I'm going to have a baby.”
“What?” Ed and Walt exclaimed in stereo.
She stood up and folded her napkin. “There! Now everybody knows everything. You boys hash it out- I'm going to go freshen up.”
As she walked away, she heard Stede announce, to nobody in particular, “Oh, I like her quite a lot.” In spite of everything, she felt a thrill of accomplishment.
There wasn't any yelling coming from the dining room. That was a good sign, wasn't it? Linda half-heartedly fixed her hair and flipped through an architectural magazine that she found in the guest room for a while. After twenty minutes or so, she considered heading back out to join the men, but then decided that her suitcase could use reorganization before they continued on to Yellowstone the next afternoon.
She had nearly finished re-packing her toiletries when there was a knock on the door.
“It's unlocked,” she said, not even turning around, expecting her husband. The door opened slowly. Somebody cleared his throat.
It was Stede.
“How are you feeling?” He asked like he genuinely wanted to know.
Linda shrugged. “Like I fell into an episode of Guiding Light when I wasn’t paying attention.”
Stede chuckled softly. “You know, Ed’s really very excited about the baby. He’s already congratulated Walt about a dozen times.”
A wave of relief hit. “So the two of them- they’re all right?” She hadn’t realized how anxious she was about the whole thing until she heard that.
Stede waved his hands vaguely. “Oh, they’re being very civil. To tell you the truth, I think your husband is still more confused than anything.”
It was hard not to smile at that. “I believe it.”
“But you,” Stede looked at her appraisingly, “You’re handling all of this very well, I must say.”
Again, Linda felt an odd thrill at the praise. She shouldn’t care what Stede Bonnet thought of her, but it still felt nice to be thought highly of by somebody so refined, regardless of- what sort of person he was. “Thank you,” she said politely, then in a burst of honesty, added- “It doesn’t feel like I am.”
“Well, you could have handled it a lot worse, believe me.” The way he said it gave Linda a sour twinge, like he’d seen those bad reactions first-hand. “You’re a tough one, Linda. And I’m grateful that you gave Edward the chance to, ah, broach the subject on his own terms.” More relaxed now, apparently, Stede leaned against his shoulder against the doorframe. “It means a lot to him- to both of us, really- that he was able to do that.”
“Sure,” Linda nodded slowly, at a loss for what else she could say.
There was a moment of silence between them, then-
“I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” Stede began, “but when Ed first told me he was gay, I ran for it. I mean that literally- I turned around and ran upstairs, just to get away from him.”
Linda blinked. That was not what she would have expected. “Oh.”
“Of course, I had plenty of my own problems complicating the situation,” he rolled his eyes at himself, “nevertheless, a little panic or confusion is understandable. To say the least. But if anybody can hash it out, I think it’s those two out there, what do you think?”
“I sure hope so,” she said. “I think so. Family’s so important to Walt.”
“To Ed, too,” Stede added. “I love that about him.”
Love. He really did make it sound so natural. Linda took a breath. “Well, I hope he’s ready for more family,” she said, resting her hand on her stomach. “There’s going to be another Packer in Reno by Christmas.”
Stede smiled. “Can’t wait.”
