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It's not going to kill you, says 1.0 in our private feed. You can stop slinking around like a terrified fauna.
I am not a terrified fauna.
I feel like a terrified fauna.
I feel safest in the crew lounge, where there are often humans. I do not think that Perihelion will destroy my brain in front of its humans. It would be traumatizing and perhaps troublesome to clean. I do not like being alone on the ship, because it gives Perihelion all the space it needs to destroy my brain without traumatizing any humans. Or getting them dirty.
At the same time, while I like the humans, I hate being around them, because I must be so much more careful. In the human’s presence, I can always feel Perihelion lingering in the edges of my awareness, watching. I do not yet know all of the protocol for being a rogue SecUnit that they are not afraid of, and I do not want them to be afraid of me. I like them. I also do not want to make a mistake that will make Perihelion destroy my brain.
It is most likely in my best interests to stay in my room and stand silently in the corner and do absolutely nothing. If I do nothing, I can't do anything wrong.
But that is… boring. And lonely. It is a little terrifying that standing in a corner and doing absolutely nothing is boring and lonely, because I have spent a lot of time standing in corners and doing absolutely nothing and I have never been bored or lonely before. Boredom and loneliness are new and unpleasant. I do not know if they are a side effect of disabling my governor module or some other change to my life, because there were a lot of them, and all at once. I have no baseline comparison.
It's not going to hurt you, 1.0 insists.
I drum my fingers on the table (a habit tagged in 1.0’s human behaviour protocols as [bored] and [anxious] and [impatient]. I am using it for the [anxious] tag and hoping it comes across as the [bored] tag) and watch Iris and Kaede and Karime play a card game nearby. Humans are present in the lounge, so the lounge feels safer than my room.
I do not think it’s going to hurt me, I lie. It told me that it would not.
You’re a terrible liar.
Apparently I'm a terrible liar. I hope that is not a huge breach of protocol.
I apologize, I say quickly. It was wrong to lie to you.
Ughhhhhh. You can lie if you want. Who cares. Whatever. It's not going to kill you. It doesn't think you're dangerous and killing you would be unethical.
Bombing colonies is unethical.
I watch it sigh across the room where it is facing the wall.
Without answering, 1.0 turns around, deploys an energy weapon, and fires at a fake potted plant. It all but explodes, sending little plastic leaves, dirt, and porcelain into the air.
The humans shriek, an alarm briefly blares before it aborts, and I freeze in absolute fucking terror.
SECUNIT, booms Perihelion in the public feed. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
It snaps its weapon shut again and turns back towards the wall.
My bad, it says. That was an accident.
You fucking asshole, snaps Perihelion. What the fuck is wrong with you?? Why the fuck did you do that?? Have you gone fucking insane??
Maybe, says 1.0. Anyway. What are you going to do about it?
I'm going to lock you in a fucking closet, you little idiot! Perihelion yells. You have lost your fucking mind!
Wow, says 1.0, oozing sarcasm. What a horrific punishment. You can't even get me into a closet.
You are pushing your fucking luck. Apologize to the humans for terrifying them.
“Sorry,” it says out loud to the humans, “accidental discharge.”
SecUnit, for fucks sake, says Perihelion.
There you go, Three, it sends me in our private feed. If it didn't kill me for that, it’s not going to kill you for looking in the wrong direction.
That had been extreme, reckless, and stupid. 1.0 was routinely extreme, reckless, and stupid.
But. I guess I was actually a lot less nervous about my brain getting destroyed, so.