Chapter Text
A life is a very valuable thing that everyone has, each person has its own life and chooses which path they chose or which they don't. No one and we say no one, has the right to take someone's life away, so why was Takemichi getting his life stollen by this dang curse, at first he saw it as a pure blessing, a blessing to save the only thing he ever had really wanted. To start over fresh and finally live the life he had wanted, that he should of taken back then before he decided to ran away, before he decided to leave his friends behind to fight on their own, before he even met Kiyomasa and that stupid Toman gang. Takemichis life had been pure hell after his cousin, who always hated him and even bullied him at times, lied to him and told them he was the boss of the second year gang of a school....Takemichi should of realized he would pull a stunt like that, he should if known that his cousin wouldn't tell the truth yet he lead his friends into the trap...he was the reason they got besten up and lost, he was the reason they got into the mess with Kiyomasa. That's why after a very hard decision, he left, he left out of pure guild leaving them behind.
He regretted it his whole life, at first his friends had called him, texted him or even tried to find him worried that something had happen but only days later did Takemichi find out that his dear friend Yamagishi died in that stupid ring fight, after Takemichi left he was the next target and sadly passed away, not only that but Akkun his friend stabbed Kiyomasa to death landing him in jail. Takemichi felt even more guilt then ever before and showed up one last time at the funeral of his friend where the parents yelled at them for not stopping it. Takemichi could only apologize over and over again as he sat in the rain at the grave of his friend begining for forgiveness that he had left them to fight for themselves. After he went to Akkun to bare his shame, the man only smiled at him weakly saying it wasn't his fault and they all fought if leaving too, it broke Takemichi too the core hearing that.
"H...how could you say that...if I had stayed maybe...maybe he would still be alive" Takemichi mumbled in tears shaking as Akkun teared up as well, they didn't speak after that as Akkun couldn't even deny that he had the same fought as well at the moment, he couldn't lie to his friend in this moment, yes he understands why Takemichi tried to leave but at the end he could of at least said goodbye to them or take them with him.
"Maybe....yeah maybe but here we are....it..it wasn't your fault Takemichi who could of known we would all end up like this" Akkun said before the buzzer came ending their time to talk. Takemichi took those words to hard trying to stay positive as he said goodbye to his 2 remaining friends who couldn't even look at him. After all Takemichi couldn't even look into a mirror after hearing what happened.
After that Takemichi said one last goodbye to his friend's grave and then left that part of town, it wasn't even hard, his parents weren't around having left the country and only sending money to support him which he didn't even use much as the bills were high for the house and the rest was just savings for him Incase of an emergency and food. No one would look for him, his parents didn't even care when he called and never answered their phones to begin with. So no one could even stop him, Takemichi left rented with the money a very shitty apartment and tried every job possible that he would try, from delivery to cashier to ending up in a DVD place getting yelled at by his younger manager. All Takemichi ever did was apologize, he apologized over and over and over again he didn't know what else to do, he didn't even know how he could face people otherwise, the death of his friend clung to him like a wake up call each time Takemichi thought life wasn't too bad. In the end he couldn't even bring himself to eat healthy food or even food at all, yes he ate those chips but only when the memories became too much and he wanted to just pretend he was back in 2005 before everything went to shit, before he had to witness things.
Maybe this was a punishment? Maybe Takemichi deserved to live in this crappy apartment where the walls were so thin you could hear everything, maybe he deserved this job and getting yelled at and maybe he even deserved to just....he didn't want to say it out loud, he had been trying to not think about it at all but each year around the time of the death anniversary he feels like he should of been the one to die, he feels like he should of been there jumped in and died instead to help his friend....at the end Takemichi would suck it up, he deserved this, he deserved this all. What he didn't deserve is that he lived instead of his friend, then just 12 years later he saw the news, he saw it after he didn't have the strength to go to work feeling like he would actually jump onto a street if he left the house. His old girlfriend died to a gang fight, the biggest Mafia gang killed her with a truck accident. Not only that but her brother died as well, Takemichi couldn't believe it, he nearly forgot about her completely. No he did forget about her until he heard this in the news, he didn't even say goodbye too her as well, all he did was leave leaving nothing behind that he would regret.
Yes he loved Hinata but....he didn't deserve it, he knew he didn't deserve it since he didn't love her just as much as Hinata did to him, he felt more like they were best friends...but he didn't tell Hinata feeling like he would immediately be shunned from school as Hinata was very popular after all everyone wanted her to be hers, yet she chose him back then, she chose to take him instead of everyone else, he never got an answer why.....and now? He will never find this out at all, he will never find out why she loved him so much when he didn't even know if he actually liked Hinata or not, yes he found her cute and adorable at times but everyone thought that off her even Akkun did back then. Takemichi sighed already hearing his neighbor storming up banging on his door that he was too loud with the tv. He hated her, he wished she would go away after all she was just as loud as he was at time, at times even more worse then him when she had her stupid guest over, so when he opened the door he looked annoyed and just bummed along to what she was yelling on about before he closed the door again with her storming off.
Takemichi just couldn't handle this fucked up apartment with this fucked up people so he sighed putting his shoes on and decided to go to work anyway, he did have his shift later that day so he took this as a warning to go there, unless he wanted his neighbor up in his business again because the TV was too loud, she was the only one who complained so he never took her seriously, sometimes he wished he could just shut her up and tell her what he had in mind if here but he didn't dare not wanting to start unnecessary drama to begin with. He sucked it up each time she stormed up and yelled at him, if he tough back to all the times he apologized in his life, all he said was sorry all the time. Sorry here sorry there, he hated himself for always saying it, always he said sorry even when he didn't even mean it, he didn't like saying it when he didn't even need too. People trampled over him like he didn't matter and Takemichi let them feeling like he deserved this life, he deserved to suffer for the rest of his miserable life.
Takemichi walked up to the train station lost in mind, he couldn't think of what would of happened if he had stayed behind if he just had sticked it out with his friends and stayed with them, would his friend be alive and Akkun not in Jail? Would he have been happy? Takemichi didn't know so he just stood at the train tracks, he didn't know what would happen, he felt that one thought at his back mind just calling for him to step closer to take just those few steps forward and Takemichi, he actually did taking 2 steps closer making the edge come onto his eyes even more, he knew he wouldn't so it but the fought was there and each day it grew more and more. He fought it as hard as he could, well more like he fought it as hard as he could manage to push back at least. Takemichi blinked slowly looking back up, he never got to celebrate his birthday after turning 15, he never got to lose his virginity even as embarrassing as it felt to admit that, he only had even one relationship and that was with Hinata other then that people saw him as a total loser hell when he was in his second year of school he was a big shot people saw him in good eyes except the crybaby he used to have been, but here he is still mopping around crying at things and looking like a walking stick with how much weight he lost, all he need was a breeze for him to fall into the train tracks but this time....it was not a breeze it was a full push...a calculated push that decided for him that he was ready to go to hell where he belonged. He didn't even see who did it all he felt was....relive...he felt relive to see himself flying onto the tracks.
He just wanted to accept it, the train was right there it was like he was in slow motion almost as he could think clearly while starting at the very slowly train. He felt relive to have landed there but thinking about the pain to come he regretted feeling relived, he should be relived after all. Takemichi shoulder be relived that he got pushed, he should be relived seeing the train coming, hell why was he even so happy? His life was ending in a stupid way with no one to morn him even if he died, not like he wanted anyone too as he felt like he didn't deserve it at all, all he could really muster up was a sad sigh knowing no one would remember him. No one would remember Hanagaki Takemichi, the loser who ran away from his friends, his girlfriend and his life himself that he chose to end the day he heard his friend died. Takemichi gasped suddenly feeling the pain, it felt cruel like god really was punishing him for the sins he had collected over the years, for just doing everything wrong but then all of a sudden there was a bright light and a voice speaking too him.
"Save them Takemichi, save them please" Takemichi tried responding but he couldn't.
Takemichi sat up gasping as he held his chest looking around confused and scared as he felt like he had died just seconds ago. Takemichi tried taking deep breaths as he saw he was unharmed for now, he was so confused wasn't he just hit by a train? He was, wasn't he? Takemichi immediately stood up and ran to the mirror seeing his...old self? An old self he wished he never saw again, that face that haunts him in his dreams, his hair as yellow as piss and his face that had its cuteness back, he hated it, he hated it a lot. Why did he look like this again? Was his life flashing before his eyes? Was he in hell even? Was his hell to always look like the worst time in his life?
Takemichi teared up feeling immensely disturbed as he immediately lashes out throwing a punch at the poor mirror smashing it into pieces as he he didn't even flinch when his hand was bleeding. He started breathing heavily wishing this was all a dream but the moment he felt the pain he felt confused was this real? Had his other life been a dream? A crazy dream he had? Takemichi didn't know and felt scared as he immediately looked around his room seeing his old room he had back in school or more like house as h he was the only one living here. He immediately took out of his room looking around seeing it all like it had been years ago. There was the old couch with a lots of stains on it from dying his hair and the time his gang sat there, his old wall still had the holes in them from when they played Minigames and Yamagishi threw the controller. Everything was the same it was sickening too him but that was until he saw the calendar in the wall.
"July....4th...2005?" Takemichi mumbled confused as he immediately walked over grabbing the calendar with force yanking the nail out or the wall with it at how much strength he was using. He couldn't believe his eyes was this real!? Was this old life of a depressed him a dream!? Did he maybe hit his head and get delusions? Or did he see the future? Takemichi didn't know and felt like he was suffocating as he gasped for air trying to comprehend what was happening around here. But he had no idea what was going on or how to even breath at the moment as he tried to look around for something that could tell him he wasn't just hallucinating, that maybe someone would pop out and tell him it was all an prank and that he is still in 2017. That someone just moved him as a joke to his old house....no Takemichi knew it was impossible as the couch was immediately sold after he moved away, he even sold his old flip phone......
At that thought Takemichi immediately looked around throwing stuff around as he looked for evidence of his phone, if he really was in hell or in the last that his phone would be here right!? What would he do if it isn't? Is he really in hell after he got hit by the train? Then why was he feeling pain or why did everything look like it was so real. Takemichi just had to believe that everything around him wasn't the after life but the real world so when he ran back too his room storming to his bed stepping with his bare feet into the glass shards hissing as he kept walking not stopping at all as he grabbed the old flip phone that had been charging and opening it freezing up as he saw the same date like the calendar. What did it mean? Ass he really in the past...or was this his life flashing before his eyes like people said? No....he felt pain....he felt everything so what happened... Takemichi took a deep breath trying to think of what to do what should he do? How would you even move on after finding out suddenly that you seem to be in the past.
Takemichi flinched as he suddenly saw his alarm go off showing a time, Takemichi struggled too remember what it was for as he started at his phone and decided to shut it off and ignore it, he need to collect his thoughts he need to calm down before facing this cruel or even cursed world he suddenly landed in after dying or did he die? Hell Takemichi didn't even know so he sat in anger on his hed cradling himself trying to think of anything to do, what should he do.....