Work Text:
“Furi-chan? you good?”
“You seem off today Freo. If you’re tired we can cancel today’s concert”
Ah...i doze off again...today me, Zeal and Seible's gonna perform on stage to promote our band...I can't let them down..
“...No. Everything’s fine. let’s push thru this and get this night done”
.
.
.
“Freo, you don’t have to sing, you can just play the instrument today”
Was what I was told to do. But when I'm on that stage and playing those notes, it hits me. I didn’t notice that the mic it’s already in my hands. I didn’t notice that the words fell out of my mouth. It’s just so natural
“i keep
on living with
my arms around the thought”
I can feel Zeal and Seible’s eyes on me
“a snow that’s hiding in the shade of me
left over from the storm of us ”
This time, the memory started to flood in
“Your everything has forfeited
Tomorrow and what’s yet to come
And now you’re left to wander through
The middle of eternity”
You have started to appear in my mind again. Your present, your everything. It’s coming to the surface as i sing this
“Freodore? wow first time i’ve heard a name like that!! I’m Kaelix Debonair!! Can I call you Freo?”
“...you can. Hi Kaelix”
It was summer when i first met you.
Your voice
Soft and gentle, even when you’re still a kid
It’s been so long since i’ve heard anyone calling out my names such gentle in their voice
I knew right there and then, I fell for you.
As we grew older, you were never separated from me. Always stay by my side, giving me the comfort that i didn’t think i need until i have you
“I’m stuck in place i cannot say
Goodbye to you and walk away
You’re still right here
With me”
Everytime you came to my house, i notice that look
The look when you sense something dangerous
And it didn’t took you long to know what’s going on in my house
I tried to play it cool but you hated that idea. You saved me from that household. I can never thank you enough for that.
Until then, people still prefer us as an unseparated duo. We even joined a band together. I miss your singing voice…I miss when we have a duet on stage.
“ just like
a spell have stuck unbroken on my life
or maybe now it’s changed into curse “
But then you started to get distance. Not the “I don’t love you anymore” type…just…You don’t have much time for me like before. As college starts to sink in, you and I both have different paths. It was hard to even contact you. We even have minor fights about space and time for eachother. I know you still love me but…it’s not the same Kaelix i've known.
“ to bear the baggage that you’re left me with”
And then
I’ve said something that shouldn’t be said
I ask you to break up
“But Furifuri?? We can solve this together!! please don’t break up with me”
You look so…sad. It shattered my heart more just to think that you'd be this sad when i ask for breaks up. It made me want to shallow up all my words and hug you tightly
But the thing have been said
“Kaelix…as much as i love you, this is for the best”
“The best?! Did you even consider my feelings?!”
“Kaelix i-”
“You don’t do you…you don’t love me anymore..?”
“Kaelix that’s not-”
“I would do anything to still be with you Furifuri, please don’t leave me! please don't break up with me!”
I regret every single thing i’ve said that day
“Then, Would you die for me then?”
“...Furifuri..?”
“I said it. Would you? i don’t want to hear empty words or promise. If you love me that much you wouldn't hesitate to do that”
“I...I understand now. Goodbye Freo”
Something, something in your tone still haunts me to this day. It wasn’t warm like sunlight anymore. It was cold. Like the snow falling down from the gray skies above
“hey
what kind of future left for me
to find in this city
without the love i’ve known”
That winter, you took your own life.
You took my words in, no empty promise
You just took your own life away to prove your love to me. You left me alone with my guilt eating me alive, rotting myself in my bed as i held our picture close to my heart
And what is this—tears? This feeling is so intense. How long has it been since I last felt something like this?
Such a relief…i’m sure Zeal and Seible notice it too by now . …it has driven me crazy from the feelings of missing you. From all the guilt i’ve felt for being the reason why you commit suicide. I’ve neglected my own feelings and let it bottled up inside me. I knew you wouldn’t like seeing me like this…
It’s this what makes you fall in love with music, Kaelix? I get it now...i get why singing always bring emotion to you now.
.
.
“Furi-chan, we need to talk”
“Freo, take a seat. Would you mind telling us what happened?”
I took a deep breath in as I sat down. I look straight at their eyes, spilling out every memories that has resurfaced. From how I've met you, our feelings toward each other, how you loved me, adores me way too much. To where I said those cruel words to you, to how I “killed” you with my words.
I was afraid that they would judge me for what I've done. But they don’t. Instead, they look at me with pity, sorrowful eyes. And wrap me in a warm embrace. A warm feeling that I've yearn for so, so long since you left.
They comfort me, saying that it’s not my fault, they make sure I don't overthink things and shower me with love. I’ve lost you, and I've found more people willingly loving me. This is what you wanted right Kaelix?
“I wanna continue”
“Huh? what did you say Freo?”
“I want to continue Kaelix’s dreams. To the fullest”
I’d do it, to prove my love to you too.