Chapter Text
Jeongin had always had all the pieces of the puzzle right there on his desk — he just never knew how to fit them together.
They gave him all the signs, hints, and clues, but Jeongin was blind. Blind because of the friendship and loyalty that eventually turned out to be fake.
• ° • ೋ ☆ ೋ • ° •
Letting out a sigh, Jeongin finally allowed himself to breathe some lighter air as he turned off the light and stepped out of the bathroom.
He’d just finished washing up, and since he’d made sure to bring his clothes with him, Yang had gotten dressed right there, since he had everything he needed.
It was colder outside the bathroom, and although it was a bit tiring, Jeongin found the cooler, humid air pleasant.
He headed straight for his room, carrying only a towel draped over his shoulders because of his wet hair.
Jeongin could hear the muffled voices of his hyungs downstairs, loud as always. They sounded happy, and even though he wanted to join them to unwind, he had more important things to do.
Jeongin smiled, knowing he could always be with them later; after all, the group always found a way to share a moment together as a pack.
As soon as he opened his bedroom door, Jeongin took from one of the nightstand drawers a hair dryer that he and Jisung had agreed to share — and, to be fair, they’d accidentally broken the other one.
Jeongin sat down in the chair in front of the mirror, plugged the dryer into the outlet beside him, and started getting ready.
While running the dryer and his hand through his hair to get rid of the excess water, Jeongin absentmindedly began warming up his vocal cords.
He used a simple exercise, just a lip trill, making a sound like “brrr.” But after a few singing lessons with Seungmin’s teacher, Jeongin had learned how to make it more complete.
Remembering a technique he’d picked up a while ago, he turned the simple sound into something finer and higher-pitched, gradually raising it — the sound muffled by the dryer still blowing.
Once his hair was dry, Jeongin turned off the dryer and set it on the nightstand, lowering the volume of his vocal warm-up too.
He grabbed a round thermal brush and a flat brush from the drawer and turned the dryer back on, switching between the two to improve the look without overdoing it.
Finally, Jeongin opted for his famous hair oil, Kundal, to give it extra shine instead of the usual look.
Jeongin had always loved the brand, but he’d considered dropping it because it made him look a bit too young. Still, his hyungs’ reactions whenever they smelled or touched his hair were always fun to remember — plus, it really was great for hair hydration.
Jeongin let everything go and judged his reflection in the mirror. He looked to the right, then tilted his head to the left. Not bad, despite his cheeks still a bit flushed from the heat of the bathroom and the dryer.
Nodding to himself in approval, he put everything back in its place and sat back down in the chair, facing the mirror.
He still had some time, so he took the chance to go over his lines and work on his accent, hoping everything would turn out the way Changbin wanted.
When the time came, Jeongin stood up and headed to the living room, closing the door behind him.
Only four of his hyungs were there relaxing, the noise from earlier now explained — they were watching a game of… volleyball?
“Why are you watching a volleyball game?” Jeongin’s voice echoed in the almost quiet room, startling the others who hadn’t noticed him there.
“Oh, hi Innie! We didn’t see you there.” Although he couldn’t see him clearly, Jeongin guessed Felix was kneeling on the sofa to face him with that dazzling smile.
Jeongin smiled back at him.
“Minho hyung started researching more about sports,” Hyunjin answered, still staring intently at the TV, though he didn’t seem to care that much about what was on.
Jeongin looked at Minho, who just shrugged, picking up a drink from the floor to bring to his lips.
“Besides…” Seungmin’s voice caught Jeongin’s attention. Seungmin pointed at the TV. “Korea’s playing an international match today.”
“Oh!” Jeongin looked at the game in admiration, wishing he could understand what was going on. “Are they doing well?”
“Nah.” Felix answered simply, settling into the couch.
“Not at all.” Minho seemed very calm about losing, but the soju bottle in his hand gave him away.
“Then why are you still watching? Do you just enjoy seeing us lose?” Jeongin raised an eyebrow, stepping a bit closer to the couch.
“No, Iyen-ah.” Hyunjin finally looked at him. “There’s always a twist.” His eyes went back to the TV. “And we’re waiting for it.”
“Actually, I think it’s stuck in traffic,” Seungmin frowned, still watching the game play out.
Jeongin let out a laugh at his hyungs’ behavior.
He was sure none of them really knew what was going on; Jeongin would bet even Minho had already forgotten the main rules, but he didn’t say anything.
It was funny how they could focus so much on something they didn’t really understand.
Jeongin said goodbye to the group and walked away — partly because he had an appointment, partly because he didn’t want to watch his country lose on an international level. Sometimes, Jeongin could be a bit competitive, so he hoped Hyunjin was right about that twist.
Pulling a mask from his pocket, Jeongin put it over his face and then placed a hat on his head. The dorm was close to the company, so there was no need to take any transportation.
He made sure to use less crowded paths as he made his way to his destination.
• ° • ೋ ☆ ೋ • ° •
As he stepped through the gates of JYP, Jeongin allowed himself to take off his mask and breathe freely.
He headed toward the building and, as always, greeted and chatted with a few staff members and idols he passed along the way.
It didn’t take him long to reach the studio designated for recording, stopping only once to grab a bottle of water from a vending machine.
Even though he had practiced, Jeongin still felt a bit nervous, since this was something new for him.
He had worked hard and asked the other members for tips on how to improve his flow and rhymes. So, as he opened the door, Jeongin sincerely hoped Changbin would be satisfied with his work.
Jeongin walked in holding the script papers in his left hand, while his right hand closed the door behind him. His eyes searched for Changbin.
Well, he was doing something Jeongin really hadn’t expected.
And why was Han there?
Jeongin watched, curious, as Changbin pinned Jisung against the wall of the small studio.
Jisung was taller than Changbin, but at that moment he looked smaller. Seo leaned in closer, whispering something Jeongin couldn’t catch. Jisung didn’t seem to mind — in fact, he seemed to be… enjoying it?
The atmosphere grew strangely thick, but before any of the three could move or say anything else, the door behind Jeongin closed with a soft click, snapping the other two out of their trance.
Still, Jeongin just kept watching.
Changbin and Jisung pulled apart quickly, with Jisung practically flying to the other side of the studio. Jeongin noticed the slight pink tint spreading across both of their faces.
“A-ah, Innie…” Changbin was the first to speak, sounding far too nervous. “How long have you been here? We didn’t notice you…”
The two watched Jeongin’s reaction: his head tilted to the side, brows furrowed, lips slightly parted, eyes full of curiosity about what he’d just witnessed.
“Is… everything okay?” Changbin tried again when he got no response or reaction from the younger one.
“It’s just that I had an eyelash in my eye and Changbin hyung was just helping me get it out, that’s all.” Jisung rushed to say, pressing his hand forcefully to his right eye.
Jeongin watched, concerned, as Jisung hissed in pain, covering his eye with both hands and turning to the wall, muttering a few curses.
Jeongin finally reacted, straightening his posture.
“Right.” He shot Han a quick glance — Han still looked like he was in pain. “Hope you managed to get the eyelash out.”
“Yes, of course. It’s all fine now, right Han?” Changbin didn’t give the other a chance to answer before moving toward the chair. “See? All good. Shall we start?”
Jeongin glanced at Han one last time — he still had a hand over his eye but managed to give him a thumbs-up with a weird smile.
Jeongin took that as an “I’m fine” and headed to the recording booth, gripping the script tightly in his hands.
While waiting for Changbin to get the track ready, Jeongin quietly watched Jisung walk over to sit next to Changbin.
Although he didn’t seem to be in pain anymore, he still looked a bit flustered, and Jeongin couldn’t quite understand why they were so nervous if they were just getting an eyelash out.
He kept his eyes on the two, trying to figure out what was going on, but since the mic wasn’t on yet, there was no way to hear anything — the walls were soundproof. If only he knew how to read lips.
Jeongin looked back down at the script, and when Changbin finally said he was ready, Jeongin did his parts just as he had practiced.
It went as he’d hoped. Now and then, Han and Changbin pointed out things they thought were off or could be better, but apart from that, Jeongin got a lot of praise, which made him happy with his work.
About thirty minutes later, Jeongin was already leaving the studio alone, since the other two had decided to stay a bit longer to keep working on mixing the vocals with the instrumental.
Before leaving, Jeongin made sure to tell Jisung to be careful not to hurt his eye again and, although he said it seriously, he found it cute how Jisung seemed to blush. But again, he didn’t comment on it — he thought that reaction was odd enough already.
• ° • ೋ ☆ ೋ • ° •
The practice that followed was intense.
In the afternoon, the group had about seven hours of pure dance practice, which left them physically drained.
Jeongin let his body slide carelessly down the wall until he hit the floor when the final beat of the last song on the playlist played.
He was drenched in sweat and felt like he’d used up all his energy for the week that afternoon alone — though that was just an exaggeration that, in a way, made them feel good.
There was something both pleasant and unpleasant about the sweat running down his skin. Jeongin had learned to love and appreciate that feeling, even though for many it was disgusting.
Jeongin remembered talking to Minho about it sometime after their debut, and the dance leader had said it was normal: it meant he was pushing himself with something demanding but that he liked — which gave the feeling a certain satisfaction. But that didn’t take away his human side that still found it gross.
Jeongin watched as Hyunjin flopped down next to him on the floor. He was quiet for what felt like two seconds, then moved — dragged himself — until he was lying right on top of Jeongin.
Jeongin let out a weak groan, trying in vain to push Hwang away.
“Hyung, please!” His voice came out a bit more desperate than he’d planned, but Jeongin didn’t care — it was exactly how he felt.
Every muscle in his body hurt, from his feet to his head — maybe even his hair — and having a whole Hwang Hyunjin, bigger than him, dumping all his weight on his body wasn’t helping. Especially for free.
“That practice was brutal,” Hyunjin decided to ignore his maknae’s cries for help.
“Don’t even say it.” Jeongin decided not to fight back against the alpha. There was no point — he was stubborn as a mule.
“How many songs do you think we practiced?” Hyunjin asked, adjusting himself on top of Jeongin while grabbing a water bottle.
Jeongin flinched at the shift in weight, wishing — for his own sake — that Hyunjin would choke on that water so he’d get off him.
“I don’t know, maybe over a hundred.” He threw out a random number, hearing Hyunjin laugh on top of him.
“It wasn’t that many.” Minho appeared in his line of sight, arms crossed.
“For someone who dances day and night, really.” Jeongin teased, making a face at the older.
Minho responded with another face in his direction, making Jeongin laugh.
“Come on, let’s head back. We need to rest.” The older alpha offered his hands and helped Hyunjin up, but when Jeongin held out his arm expecting help, Minho just shot him an amused smile. “This is because you don’t respect me, you brat.”
Jeongin huffed, dropping his arms and watching the two alphas walk away.
“That’s favoritism!” he yelled at Lee, who turned around only to make another funny face at Jeongin, who shot one back.
Jeongin still felt tired and exhausted, but the small interaction with the two dancers seemed to ease some of the tension he was feeling.
“Coming, In?” Seungmin stepped a bit closer to Jeongin, looking at the youngest vocalist.
Jeongin sighed and nodded, getting up right after to grab his things and leave with the older beta by his side.
• ° • ೋ ☆ ೋ • ° •
When they got home, the group agreed to wait while Minho and Chan prepared a light meal before getting ready for bed.
Jeongin chose to shower before dinner, but when he stepped out of the bathroom and into his room, the bed looked far more inviting than the meal.
He loved his hyungs’ cooking, but at that moment he had no appetite and, honestly, sleep was all Jeongin really needed.
Without any more hesitation, the pack’s yet-unpresented pup threw himself onto the bed, burying himself among the cool sheets that would soon warm up with his own body heat.
• ° • ೋ ☆ ೋ • ° •
A scratchy feeling in his throat was what woke Jeongin up this time.
He didn’t remember exactly how long it had been since he’d lain down, but judging by the silence, it was probably already late.
Jeongin needed water.
Sitting up in bed, he resisted the urge to rub his eyes so he wouldn’t lose his sleepiness, choosing instead to look over at Jisung’s bed, expecting to see a sleeping hyung — but to his surprise, it was empty.
It looked untouched when Jeongin pointed his phone’s light toward the other side of the room, but he assumed maybe Jisung had gone to sleep in one of the other hyungs’ rooms
With that thought, Jeongin got out of bed and walked softly down the hallway, trying not to wake anyone up since they’d all had a tiring day.
Jeongin made his way to the kitchen but once there, chose to leave the lights off — or he’d risk losing his drowsiness — so he used only the faint glow from his phone
He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. He was hungry too — since he’d fallen asleep before eating anything since midday — but chose to take just his water bottle, not wanting to lose another minute of rest, even though he knew falling back asleep would be harder now.
Before Jeongin could head back to his warm, comfy bed, the muffled sound of voices made him pause for a moment and stand alert.
He waited a bit longer, but when the sound didn’t come again, he thought maybe it was just his imagination. But before he could move again, the voices echoed once more, this time sounding cheerful.
Jeongin followed the voices back to where he’d started: the living room.
The door was closed, but through the frosted glass that covered half of it, Jeongin could see the reflection of the TV light and hear the voices more clearly now, knowing it was his group.
That reassured him, but it also worried Jeongin. Why would they be up so late at night?
Jeongin carefully opened the door, only to be greeted by a warm sight of his pack.
They were all scattered around but, in a way, together in the living room. Some were squeezed onto the couches while others sat on the floor in front of the rest.
Jeongin looked at them all and, even though he couldn’t see their faces from where he stood, he counted seven heads there — which meant he was the only one missing.
“Hyung?” Jeongin wasn’t sure who he was calling for, but he managed to get everyone’s attention — and that’s when he realized he’d startled them. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you guys, but… What are you doing here so late at night — or rather, so early in the morning?”
“Oh, nothing much, Innie,” it was Jisung who spoke up first.
“Yeah, we just decided to watch a movie, but since you didn’t even have dinner before you fell asleep, we thought it’d be better not to wake you up,” the leader pointed out.
Jeongin looked at them, a strange feeling settling in his chest, but he didn’t say anything.
“You looked exhausted, Jeonginnie.” This time it was Felix who spoke, looking at him with an affection and something else Jeongin couldn’t quite place. “Maybe you should head back to bed."
Jeongin thought for a moment. The idea of going back to bed sounded good, but he’d already lost his sleep after moving around so much — maybe staying with his pack would be more fun than trying to fall asleep again
“Well, I was about to head back, but I think I lost my sleep, so maybe I could stay here with yo—”
Jeongin was already about to step into the room, but Hyunjin was quicker — he stood up and approached the younger one, stopping right in front of him.
Hyunjin’s hands rested on Jeongin’s chest, as if trying to stop him from moving forward.
“Innie, it’s late and we don’t want to mess up your rest schedule,” the alpha said, looking into Jeongin’s eyes with warmth.
Jeongin just smiled at him. He understood their concern, but he was fine; after all, he’d gone to bed earlier, so he’d lost his sleep quickly
“I’m fine, hyung. Sleeping early took my sleep away and, besides, I want to spend more time with you guys.”
Hyunjin’s expression seemed to falter for a brief second, but it was so fast Jeongin thought he was imagining it.
Jeongin tried to take another step forward, wanting to snuggle with his pack as soon as possible.
The fact that he wasn’t presented yet didn’t let him feel the same sensations that betas, alphas, or omegas felt when gathered like that, but Jeongin loved being by their side anyway.
He had a limited idea of what each one’s natural scent was like from what Minho had explained to him, but he still wished he could someday truly feel for himself the scent that his packmates carried.
He could hardly wait for the day he would finally present and discover more about himself.
Before Jeongin could take another step, Minho’s voice made him stop again.
“Innie, we know you want to stay here, but you should go back to bed. It’s late and you looked really worn out today after practice.”
Jeongin felt something strange form inside him again.
“I’m fine, hyung.” His voice came out softer than he expected. “I can stay here with you or… you don’t want me to?”
“We do want you here, but we want you to take care of yourself more, Iyen-ah,” the alpha replied without hesitation, his eyes staying on Jeongin — who looked away. “Go back to bed, we’ll be fine without you.”
Jeongin didn’t protest anymore and just headed to his room shared with Jisung after obediently agreeing with what his alpha said and wishing everyone a good night.
Jeongin simply couldn’t explain what was going on inside him, but maybe what had just happened had left him feeling a little… sad, even if there was no reason to be.
He knew Minho’s words weren’t meant to hurt — he just wanted Jeongin to go back to sleep to rest better since they’d practiced so much — but somehow that last sentence felt…
Jeongin quickly pushed those thoughts away, knowing that wasn’t it — Lee Know would never say that to him or any other member.
He couldn’t let his insecurities take over and replace the image he had of his hyungs, because they had never been anything but kind and loving to him.
That thought made Jeongin feel lighter, letting him lie back in bed and try to drift off to sleep again.
It took a while, but Jeongin remembered seeing the sunrise before sleep finally claimed him again.
• ° • ೋ ☆ ೋ • ° •
The following days went by as usual. Busy schedules with little room to rest, but the group always found a way to gather and spend time together, taking those moments to scent each other to help them relax.
During these moments, Jeongin couldn’t help but feel a bit bad because, being the only unpresented one in the pack, he couldn’t really take part in these pack sessions, even though the others always made sure to invite him in.
It hurt a little to know he couldn’t help the alphas and betas relax with his scent the way they did, and the fact that they couldn’t scent him either also stung — because Jeongin was still just a normal human, he had no scent unless he depended on artificial perfumes.
Jeongin let out a sigh, standing up from the couch to head to his room.
At that moment, it was just him and Felix at home — the other six members had gone out to handle their own schedules.
Since the two of them didn’t have anything to do that day, they decided to stay in and rest a bit, figuring going out or doing activities wouldn’t be very productive given how tired they were.
Felix had fallen asleep since it was already eight in the evening. Jeongin found the timing a bit odd, but he couldn’t judge — he was just as exhausted, only forcing his eyes to stay open during the day to avoid a sleepless night.
As soon as the door closed behind him, Jeongin set his phone down on the nightstand and headed to the bathroom for a quick routine before bed.
After coming out and checking that the windows were shut and his phone was charging, Jeongin lay down in bed and let sleep take him away, the tiredness slowly leaving his body.
• ° • ೋ ☆ ೋ • ° •
Jeongin didn’t really know what time it was when he woke up, but he knew it was still early.
The sound of something bumping into something else woke him up, even though it wasn’t that loud. Jeongin was a light sleeper, so it would be fair to say that even the sound of a door opening could wake him.
He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. When he turned on the small lamp on his nightstand and looked ahead, a small pang of sadness hit him when he saw that Jisung wasn’t there again — but Jeongin tried to ignore it.
Instead of thinking about the beta who was probably already sleeping in another room, Jeongin got up to see where the noise had come from.
Jeongin frowned when he saw Felix in the middle of the hallway, carefully trying to pick something up from the floor without making a sound.
“Hyung?” Jeongin whispered, but even so, Felix seemed startled by his sudden presence, dropping what Jeongin now realized were some decorations that Chan had put there. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…”
“Oh, hey, Innie.” Felix stood up and turned to Jeongin, smiling even though his expression looked strange. “I didn’t want to wake you up, I’m sorry…”
Jeongin tilted his head to the side, trying to understand what was happening. “It’s okay, hyung, I just have light sleep. What happened?”
“Ah, um… well…” Felix looked down at his hands, which he clasped together in front of his body. “It’s something silly, forget it.”
Jeongin shook his head, stepping a little closer. “It’s not silly if it’s bothering you, hyung. You can tell me, I won’t judge, I promise.”
Felix seemed hesitant, but then he spoke. “It’s just that I… um, I had a nightmare and I can’t fall back asleep.”
Jeongin noticed the beta’s cheeks flush pink and couldn’t help but think how adorable it was — though he didn’t say it out loud.
“Oh, hyung, I’m sorry.” Jeongin stepped closer, trying to comfort him with his presence. “Was it really bad?”
Felix shook his head. “I… I don’t know.” He ran his hand down his left arm. “I don’t really remember exactly what it was about, everything’s all distorted and—”
Jeongin didn’t let him finish. “Shh, it’s okay, hyung.” Jeongin rubbed his hand along Lee’s arm before pulling him into a hug, which the older didn’t hesitate to return. “You don’t have to say… and it’s probably better if you don’t remember.”
Felix hugged him tighter. “Sorry, it just… it felt really scary, but I can’t remember…”
“It’s okay, hyung… come on, let’s go back to bed.”
“But—”
Felix looked at the things on the floor in the hallway as Jeongin gently led him back toward the bedroom.
“It’s fine, we’ll tidy that up later.”
Felix seemed a bit hesitant before stepping into the room but didn’t say anything. With that, Jeongin guided him to Chan’s bed since it was empty.
So Jeongin figured 3RACHA was probably still at the studio.
Jeongin gently asked Felix to get into bed while he grabbed a glass of water from the nightstand.
Felix sat down on the bed and Jeongin handed him the water. “Drink this, please.”
And Felix did.
Jeongin waited patiently until Felix handed him the glass back. Once he did, Jeongin put it away and gently told his hyung to lie down, tucking him in afterward.
They stayed silent for a while, Felix lying on his side facing Jeongin, who was kneeling in front of him with his head resting on his arm on the bed, looking directly at Felix while running his fingers through his hair.
The warm light made his freckles stand out, and he looked so beautiful that Jeongin thought he could watch him for hours and hours.
Felix closed his eyes for a moment, just enjoying the younger’s company, before murmuring a soft “thank you.”
Jeongin just smiled at him, even though Felix couldn’t see it.
Neither of them could say how long they stayed there just looking at each other, quietly appreciating the moment.
• ° • ೋ ☆ ೋ • ° •
The sound of the door opening pulled Jeongin out of his trance.
Felix had already fallen asleep a while ago, but Jeongin had insisted on staying in the same position, gently stroking Felix’s long hair.
When Jeongin paused his movements to pay attention, Felix seemed to stir too, moving slowly and drawing the younger’s attention again.
When he opened his eyes, Jeongin smiled at him, giving him two gentle pats on the head before turning toward the door.
Felix just watched him, his mind spinning with unspoken emotions.
When the bedroom door opened, Jeongin laughed when he saw Chan get startled by his presence.
“Jeongin? Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Chan asked while putting his things away.
Jeongin narrowed his eyes at the pack leader. “I should ask you the same thing.”
Chan sighed. “I know, I was working.” He turned to look at the younger one. “Hey! Don’t look at me with that ‘that’s no excuse’ face!”
Jeongin rolled his eyes at the alpha before sighing. “You should rest, hyung.”
“And so should you.” Chan moved closer to the two. “Lixie? What happened?”
“It was nothing, hyung, just a nightmare and Innie offered to stay with me until I fell back asleep.”
“Aww—” Chan squished Jeongin’s cheeks, making him try to pull away with a scrunched-up face. “Look at our maknae taking care of his hyung! So cute!”
“Let go of me, hyung!” Jeongin pulled back but couldn’t stop a smile from forming on his face.
Felix turned to Jeongin, his expression softer this time. “Thank you, Innie, but I think you should go back to bed now.”
Jeongin frowned, wanting to spend more time with his hyung. There were so few moments when they let Jeongin take care of them — they usually preferred to take care of him since he was the maknae.
Not that Jeongin complained — he loved that his hyungs cared so much for him — but he cared for them too. They just didn’t give him many chances to show it.
“I can stay here, hyung. I’m—”
“It’s already late, Jeongin, it won’t be good for you if you stay up too long. You need to rest for tomorrow.”
"It’s not good for you either…”
“But you staying here won’t make me sleep earlier, In…” His voice was gentle, but Jeongin couldn’t help the squeeze in his chest at that sentence. “We don’t need two people exhausted tomorrow, okay?
Chan nodded. “He’s right, you need to rest. Besides, I’m here now. I can take care of him.”
Jeongin looked between the two of them but didn’t try to argue again. Nodding, he stood up from where he’d been — ignoring the ache in his thighs from staying in that position — and said his goodbyes, leaving right after.
When he got back to the room, Jisung still wasn’t there.
Jeongin missed being able to talk to him until he fell asleep.
But the next day, Jisung seemed fine and happy — so Jeongin could be fine and happy too.