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Some things were relationship ending.
Others weren't worth fighting over or ending a relationship for.
Hopper was sure that this was the former.
But that didn't make things easier. Knowing that something was a deal breaker and that it wasn't something you could ignore was different than knowing how to relay that something without hurting one of the people who you loved more than anything.
The truth was, Hopper didn't want to have this conversation with Joyce.
He knew it was going to hurt her.
But it had to be done.
Hopper couldn't live like this anymore. The kids couldn't live like this anymore.
This was a deal breaker and Joyce needed to hear it.
“Honey I'm hom—uh…hello people who do not live here.” Joyce looked around the room, eyes roaming from person to person (The Wheelers, The Sinclairs, The Hendersons, The Upside Down Crew, and even her old boss was there for some reason( in confusion until finally they landed on her partner. “Jim, what's going on?”
Maybe the intervention was a little much.
“We need to talk, Joyce.” Hopper grimaced.
“Is this an intervention —”
Joyce frowned at him. “Tell me what? What's going on?”
Jonathan, Will, and El were crying in the corner as their friends handed them tissues.
“Why are the kids crying?”
Hopper took a step forward. And then another. And another, and another until finally he was in front of Joyce and he took her hand in his— meeting her eye. “It’s time to stop Joyce.”
“Stop what ? You aren't making any sense!”
Steve stepped forward then, a bag in hand. He emptied the bag onto the table and every hair trimmer, razor, and pair of scissors that Joyce had in the house fell out into a neat little pile.
“You have to stop cutting you and the kids’ hair.” Hopper told her as gently as he could, his eyes emotional. “You are awful at cutting hair.”
Joyce teared up, just as the sheriff feared she would and she tried to push him away. “How could you say that?”
“I'm telling you this because I love you Joyce and this isn't something I could keep from you forever. It's ruining our lives—ruining the kids’ lives. Will's had the same bowl cut since he was seven! Look at him Joyce! Look at his hair!”
Joyce pulled away from him. “And what about the rest of you? Do you agree with him?”
No one in the room met her eye.
And that was answer enough.
“Look at Jonathan and his bangs. Look at El, look at yourself ! These bangs are running your lives. I love you but we can't live like this anymore Joyce. The kids deserve better, you deserve better—”
What happened next, nobody quite knew how to explain.
One moment, Joyce was shoving Hopper away as he tried to comfort her. Head in hands, sobbing. And the next?
She was grabbing a pair of scissors off the coffee table and lunging at her boyfriend.
“Joyce no!”
“I'm sorry but I didn't know how else to tell you.”
“Mom!”
“HOPPER LOOK OUT!”
It took six people to get Joyce off of Hopper.
And when they finally did manage to get her off him, to their horror he didn't have blood or a stab wound on him. But instead, he had the ugliest pair of bangs known to mankind.
“How the hell —”
Hopper had been bald when the meeting began.
Was still bald, in fact, except for the bangs of course.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”