Chapter Text
All worlds were false, but this one took the cake.
When Kris first opened the fountain, Jevil had been deeply asleep, alerted into wakefulness only by the puppet’s furious cursing when he realized where they were. And where were they? Jevil had no idea. It was a vast wilderness that smelled like imprisonment and looked something like the Card Kingdom had, after it fell.
It was only when he showed up – the Lord of Screens – that Jevil began to realize what a strange and terrible world this really was, and what a strange and terrible Darkner held sway over it. Terrible, yes, as terrible as any of Spamton's stories would suggest - but of course, he loved laughter, and he loved games. Jevil understood that much; after all, he loved them too.
But it was the Lightners' story, so he and Spamton had waited amongst the pocket lint and gum wrappers that made up their new abode for their Lightners’ orders, ready for something to happen.
And things certainly had. Too many to recount – it was a long game of back and forth and lies and secrets and grand unveilings and Kaard finally managing to get a date (or two)! But in the end, the world was splitting apart, the Cathode Crew was scattering, the Lightners were in peril and Jevil was entranced by it all.
“Beautiful, beautiful,” he murmured, watching the collapse of the false existence Kris had called into being. “Look, puppet!” The air had begun to shiver and grow sharp with static, and it hurt to breathe. “It snows, snows.”
“HE’S [going hay wire]” Spamton said, and Jevil knew it, too. When the Lord of Screens finally went mad, well, what was going to come of that? Not that it mattered; all false, all fantasy, but… he wasn’t going to fit in the pocket. Where were they going to put him? In the cell, perhaps, beside the King of Spades? Or maybe he could move in with Queen. He might like the pool.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Susie was saying, though to which of her companions Jevil could not tell from his vantage point. “Soon as we find Toriel we can seal this place and get out.”
Get out? Get out? But the chaos was just beginning! And besides –
Jevil’s ears pricked. It may have been his imagination, but he thought he could hear, in the distance, a sound that filled him with joy. Oh, it ends for you tonight, all you Darkners of this phony land. Bow and take your curtain call. Fate, lay your hand on this place. They are coming.
Jevil thumped the ground with his tail in frustration, desiring nothing more than to jump out, to go to them, to confront the Lord of Screens so he could bear witness to what had been foretold. But Spamton might follow him, and Spamton was barely any good in a fight, even now.
Right now the puppet was biting the places where his cuticles would have been if he had any. “SWEET [Cheeze Its]! HE’S A [hot mess]” he was muttering to himself. “HE CANT [Deals!] WITH IT. HE’S GONNA [Break] ANY SECOND!”
They both knew it was true. Two Darkners with keen noses and familiarity with madness knew the scent of damage setting in. Jevil had no recollection of ever smelling such a thing in a mechanical Darkner, and yet it was unmistakable. Dust and ozone, and heat. The smell of an impending fire, an electrical failure of a catastrophic scale. More than that, he’d been there when the Spade King had gone crazy. He knew what it felt like when a Dark World went under; how the air changed, and the light. It was coming. “Is it not to your liking, puppet, puppet?” Jevil asked. “Tales you told me many times, of the Cathode King who broke your mind, mind.”
“NO THAT WASNt HIM IT WAS ThE [Other Guy] THE UH THE UH [Redacted]” Another long story. The two of them had been in communication once with the same mysterious Man who had driven them out of their heads – a common plight for Darkners these days, it seemed.
“How true! How true! Your heart then,” Jevil said, delighted. “Does it not suit, suit? At last your petty vengeance, vengeance.”
Spamton rattled out an aggravated sigh. “OK YEAH SO HE’S A [Cathode #&%$$] OK. I STILL DON’T WANT HIM 2 [Total System Failure] [B-Sides] IF THE [Light Nerds] GET HIT WITH IT WE’LL BE [French Toast] GET IT!?!?”
“Of course, of course,” Jevil said, starting to spin idly. “And yet. And yet.”
“THEN AGAIN HE DID [Sell Me To The Highest Bidder] AND MAKE [Laughing Stocks] ABOUT MY NOSE AND [Lye Cheat n’ Steal] ME AT [Krazy Kars] BACK IN [The Beautiful Autumn of ’95]. AND HE ALSO [swiped] MY [Lucky Socks!!] THE ONES WITH THE [little doggies] ON THEM AND HIS [clod-hoppers] WER E TO BIG FOR EM [anyways] SO HE RIPPED A [hoal] –“
“Puppet, I do not care about this,” Jevil said. “The world falters, falters. Brace yourself for the snow.”
Spamton did not brace himself for the snow. He was still ranting about how bad it had been with Tenna. “AND [Rise n’ Shine!!] ME AT [3 am] O CLOCK IN THE [&@^#^4] MORNING BECAUSE HE [Oh Spammy We Gotta Call Shuttah We] WORRIED ABOUT HIS [Gob] DAMN [Photo Shoot] BECAUSE HE [I Think I Blinked In The Last One] TELL ME YOU [Vacuum-4-Brains] HOW CAN YOU [blink] IF YOU DON’T. HAVE. ANY. [@#$&#]. EYES!?!?”
“Puppet,” Jevil laid a hand gently on Spamton’s, and when that didn’t shut him up, bonked him on the head so that his glasses sparkled static for a moment, matching the air around them.
“[Zoo-Wee-Mama!!] WHAT GIVES?”
“He is dying, dying,” Jevil said. “Do you think so much, then, of the harm he has wrought, wrought?”
“HE!???! HE’S NOT [That’s All, Folks!!!] YOU STUPID [Circus Peanut] NOBODY COULD [break] HIM.”
“You believe he’s immortal, immortal. A god among falsehoods.”
“NO!!! I JUST THINK HE –“
“And you said it yourself, one minute ago, did you not, not? ‘He will break any second, second!’”
“NO!” Spamton’s voice rose in fury. “DON’T TAKE IT SO [serious] YOU [Crash-Test Dumby] I WAS JUST [Clowning Around] EARLIER WHEN I SAID I WHEN I SAID THAT” He stood with his fists clenched, not looking at Jevil. “HE’LL B [A-Ok]. THE [Little Sponge Brigade] IS HERE THEY WONT. THEY’LL [Fixer-Up] HIM”
“Oh, does it ache so?” Jevil said scornfully, rising into the air and swishing his tail around Spamton’s head, flicking the end of his nose. “Such sudden sympathies for the king of static and wires, the heart breaker, the stealer of your lucky socks, socks –“
“GET THE [50%] OFF!!” Spamton smacked his tail away. “I DON’T [Sorry] FOR HIM OK!? HE CAN [Take A God Damn Vacation Straight To Hell] FOR ALL [the &@^# I give] I JUST DON’T WANT TO [Feast my eyeballs] ON IT!!! OK!??” And he turned away fuming and disappeared into the depths of the pocket where Jevil could no longer see him.
“Freedom, then,” Jevil murmured to himself. “At last, from his chattering, chattering.” But the rush of loneliness he felt was instant and intense, and after a second’s hesitation he hopped out of the pocket and went in search of the Lord of Screens.