Chapter Text
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Holly Weasley
A brunette woman, with hair sprawled out around her head, lay on a dirt floor. “No. Please no”, she cried. Her hands pressed against her abdomen as a warm, red liquid seeped between her fingers. Slowly, we were losing feeling to her lower extremities. The edges of our vision started to blur.
“Jessie, Jessie, Jessie”, our killer tsked. “You’re getting exactly what you asked for”. The killer spoke calmly; running the edge of a bloodied butcher’s knife along the length of Jessie’s cheek. He didn’t use enough force to cut. Just enough to intimidate.
I felt bored. I felt terrified. I felt angry. Many different emotions filled this scene as I watched for the hundredth… thousandth time.
Why? The killer’s face contorted into a demonic figuration. Once, twice, maybe more, the knife plunged into numerous locations on Jessie’s body. Why did I keep reliving this moment? Our last moments of consciousness involved the labored rise and fall of Jessie’s mutilated chest. Soon followed by the sound of gurgling.
I wanted to move on. To forget. I wanted to be….
Springing up in bed, my patchwork quilt fell from my shoulders and pooled around my waist as I instinctively breathed through my mouth. My chest strained to calm my beating heart as I surveyed the room.
Ginny was already awake. I concluded after staring at her empty bed. The morning light shining through the window felt more welcoming than normal. It signaled another day. Another day alive. In this body and not Jessie’s.
Breathing became easier as I ran a hand through my hair in an attempt to tame it. I wanted to let Jessie die for good. I wanted to be…
Not bothering to knock, two heads poked into my shared bedroom. Ginny always left the door open, making it an easy feat to accomplish. “Jolly Holly”, Fred sing-songed; seeing that I was awake. “You’re still in bed? Mum’s going to have a cow if you miss breakfast”.
George followed after him; leaving the door further ajar. “Another nightmare?” He asked as Fred joined me on the bed; squishing me against the wall.
Frowning at Fred, I ignored George’s question. All three of us already knew the answer. “Look what was just delivered”, Fred said; dangling a thick envelope with a familiar wax seal in front of my face.
Forcing a deep breath, I eyed the letter as George drew himself closer. This felt normal. This felt right. With a slight tremor in my hand, I reached up to retrieve what was no doubt my letter from school; containing a list of all the needed supplies for the year. But Fred yanked it higher, out of my reach.
“Fred”, I complained without any real heat.
“What? …Oh?” Came Fred’s mock surprise. “The letter. Do you think she wants it, George?”
Smiling, George shrugged. “Maybe”. He took the letter from Fred’s hand. “But she’s not working very hard for it, is she?”
“George”, I said before Fred could answer, lips twitching. Slowly, I crawled out from under my covers; maneuvering around Fred. “Hand it over”.
George took a step back; raising his arm to really keep the letter out of reach. Fred snickered close to my ear. “I think you’re right, George. Holly should show us how badly she wants her letter”.
Taking another step back, George was only semi-prepared when I lunged out of bed; aiming straight for him.
“Oh, no!” Fred mocked as his arms caught me around the middle and abruptly ended my attack. Motion cut short, my torso flopped over Fred's legs, and my head dangled over the hardwood floor. “Holly, you almost fell out of bed”.
George was laughing now. It was an infectious laugh that grew when I elbowed Fred in the gut, and we grappled until both of us fell to the floor in a tangled heap. The quilt included. George wasn’t left standing for long. One overzealous roll, and George was forced to collapse on top of us; rattling Ginny’s nightstand in the process.
My letter fell out of his hand and fluttered towards the ground. The three of us laughed as we wrestled to gain the upper hand. “What’s all that ruckus?” Mum yelled up the stairs. “Fred! George! I told you to wake Holly. Not rough house!”
All I wanted was to be one of the Weasley triplets. Holly Weasley to be exact. Nothing more. Nothing less. And with no strings attached.
Back-to-school shopping and Charlie’s farewell dinner were scheduled on the same day. That way, Mum could buy the ingredients for Charlie’s favorite foods, and she’d have a second semi-responsible adult to try and keep the lot of us in line.
Convening in front of the fireplace, amongst the volume and chaos of my siblings, I stood at the very end of a misshapen line. Ginny clung to my school cloak. Her grubby little hand wrinkled the edge of the fabric. I didn’t complain. In a few years, this cloak would probably be hers. So, if Ginny did damage, it wasn’t my problem.
“It’s not fair”. She whined in a way only a ten-year-old can.
“What’s not Fair?” I asked; trying to sound sympathetic. Though it was a struggle; knowing exactly why my little sister was unhappy.
Ginny leaned into me. Her face pressed against my arm. “Everyone gets to go to Hogwarts except me!”
Oh, the woes of the youngest child.
“You’ll start school when you’re eleven. Just like the rest of us”, I reasoned; ignoring Ginny's scoffing.
George stood on the other side of Ginny with Fred on his right. Our conversation was background noise to their ears as they threw bits of rolled-up parchment at Percy’s back. Meaning they could offer me no assistance in cheering up our younger sister as they complimented Percy on his new position. “Prefect Percy”, they called him. Or “Mummy’s Lil’ Prefect”, and “brown-noser”.
… That last one might be my fault.
Charlie stood between Fred, George and their target. He tried to act as a buffer. But he was as successful as a gnome of degnoming day. Everytime Charlie bushed some of the parchment off Percy's back, more was quickly thrown.
“You’re just jealous”, Percy tried to defend himself, frequently adjusting his glasses to manage his irritation. “Wait until I put you in detention”. However, his threat was useless against Fred and George. Each comment Percy made was met with merciless laughter.
Ron stood on the other end. Mum busily fussed over him. A fact that probably spared him from Fred and George, and spared Fred and George from Mum. She straightened his homespun cloak. A light blue one that used to belong to Percy. “Mum, it’s fine”, Ron complained. But she ignored him; trying to rub the ever-present dirt off his nose. Ron squirmed under her hands. “It’s fine, Mum! Leave it!”
Sighing, Mum backed off when Ron truly started to squirm. “Alright”, she said; wiping her hands of it. As if the hygiene of an eleven-year-old boy was a lost cause. And, in a way, it kind of was. Stepping back, she eyed all seven of us. Sizing us up and running some mental calculations. “We’ll go in pairs”, she decided. “Ginny with me. Ron with Charlie. Fred and George will go together. And Holly with Percy”.
The grip on my cloak tightened. “I want to go with Holly”, Ginny complained.
Mum shook her head. Ginny didn’t understand. She couldn’t appreciate how much strategic planning went into Mum’s choices. Since Ginny and Ron were the youngest, they’d stick with her and the second eldest. Mostly because she didn’t trust to rest of us to watch them for long periods of time.
To be fair, I did lose Ron once when the wizarding circus came to a nearby wizarding settlement. But he ran away from me!
It was always a gamble to allow Fred and George to wander off together. But overall, Percy’s mental health had to be taken into consideration. Mum walked over to Ginny and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Best come with me”, she reasoned. “We need to get you fitted for a new dress”.
Ginny became more agreeable at the promise of something new. She stopped holding onto my school cloak. It was a rare occurrence in this household… at least, it was for the youngest.
“We’ll meet at the Leaky Cauldron. Let’s say… 3:30”. Mum said as she moved back to Charlie. “That will give me enough time to cook dinner”, she mumbled to herself; pulling out a small coin purse for Charlie to take. “Ron has his school list”, Mum said; nodding to her youngest son. “He already has his cauldron and your old wand. I’m hemming some of Fred and George’s old robes. So, all you need to buy are potion ingredients and maybe a new copy of The Standard Book of Spells Grade One, and A History of Magic, because someone decided to draw in hers”. Mum shot me a look.
One that caused Fred and George to snigger at my expense. I turned sheepish in response. I mean, wasn’t Binns already dead when she was a student? Mum should know what his class is like.
Once Charlie had the coin purse in his possession, Mum added, “And buy whatever you need, Charlie, love. We don’t know what will be available in Romania”.
Charlie's returning smile came easily . “It’s okay, Mum. The reserve gave me an advance on my wages to help with the move”.
“Oh, such a good boy”, Mum gushed as she moved on.
The next coin purse was entrusted to Percy. “There’s enough for you and Holly. Buy only what we don’t have at home. But Dad and I put in a little extra so you may buy a reward for becoming a prefect”.
Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, Percy blushed as he pocketed the coin purse. “Thank you, Mum”.
Mum nodded, proud as can be. “Oh”, she said as if having just remembered; turning towards me. “Holly, you need at least one new skirt for school, and stockings. I can’t keep patching them. And make sure your skirt is at least knee-length”. I tried not to roll my eyes. The freedom to dress as I pleased was a luxury of adulthood I hadn’t fully appreciated until it was gone.
The last coin purse went to George. “Just school supplies”, Mum instructed firmly as the coin purse disappeared into George’s trouser pocket. “Parchment, quills, and potion ingredients. And don’t let me catch hide or hair of either of you near Knockturn Alley”.
“Yes, Mum”, said Fred and George. They grinned devilishly. If it was a sign of forewarning, no one commented.
My eyes lingered on them as Charlie and Ron stepped into the fireplace first. They were the best of us. Clever. Bright. And possessing a type of humor and glee that was contagious. Fred and George had been like this since we were born. A grounding light that made it possible to live again… And I was about to ruin the rest of their childhood. That will be a funny way to show gratitude.
Percy and I went next; forcing me to tear my gaze away from my fellow triplets. There was still today. I told myself as I took a handful of floo powder. This day in Diagon Alley can be unburdened. And then… maybe tonight, I’d have to fess up.
Once the green flames subsided, I stepped out of the way and fell into step with Percy. He led us to the used clothing store we always visited. Every few steps, Percy cast a cautious look over his shoulder. “Any idea what you want to get for your reward?” I asked; trying to distract him. Despite Percy’s fears, Fred and George would not be sneaking up behind him to cause mayhem. Not when they wanted to procure potion ingredients for their experiments. But Percy didn’t need to know that. Especially when he probably wouldn’t believe me.
He looked at me and shook his head. “I have an idea”, Percy admitted solemnly. Just loud enough to be heard over the foot traffic that echoed off the buildings of Diagon Alley. “But I’m not sure if we can afford it”.
“What is it?” I asked; pausing to let an elderly wizard waddle across our path.
“An owl”, Percy said once we started forward again. “It’d be much more efficient if I didn’t have to share Errol. And Errol is… well…” Percy trailed off. It was hard for any of us to badmouth Erroll… except Ron. Errol had been around before Bill was born. Before Erroll’s eyesight started to go, Bill had taught him how to play fetch. Errol never got put out if Ron or Ginny got a little rough with him when they were toddlers. He used to make shrieking noises if Fred and George tried to leave the house in the middle of the night. Erroll was a fellow Weasley, and no one would be able to convince us otherwise. But that didn’t mean Percy wouldn’t desire a younger owl.
What many didn’t know was that Percy had a soft spot for animals. Not crazy, magical, or dangerous animals like Hagrid or Charlie. But house pets. Owls. Cats. Dogs… Rats. “What about Scabbers?” I asked; trying to hide a shudder.
Fred, George, and I had been three when Percy found his pet. Initially, I tried throwing tantrums to get the rat thrown out. I was ignored. I tried telling the truth. No one believed me. Since then, I’ve tried: getting my hands on rat poison, finding a cat, setting mouse traps… nothing worked.
“I’m thinking of giving him to Ron”, Percy said casually. Unaware of my inner horror.
Because Merlin’s beard! My baby brother was about to share his bed with a murderer. “He’s never had a pet”, Percy continued. “I mean, neither have you triplets. But I think Fred and George would only use him to test their inventions. And-” The look Percy sent my way was knowing. No further words were needed. If Scabbers was gifted to me, the bastard wouldn’t survive to see morning… even if that meant poor Sirius Black would never have his name cleared.
We stopped in front of the used clothing store. The sounds of shoppers chatting amongst themselves washed over me as if my head were underwater. Merlin, I hated that rat. Scabbers was a constant reminder of the horrible things waiting in the future. Inescapable hardship waiting to be faced.
“Holly?” Percy asked as he nervously looked me over. Reaching out, he grabbed my shoulders; pulling us both out of the shop’s entranceway. That way, we weren’t blocking people from entering or leaving the shop. “Are you alright?” He asked once my brown eyes seemed to focus once more.
“Yeah, sorry”, I said; looking at everything except Percy. “Girl problems”.
Percy immediately removed his hands as if he’d been burned. “I’m going to look at the sweaters”. He nodded in the direction of the men’s section. “Find me when you’re done”, Percy ordered before stalking away with his shoulders raised to hide his blushing ears.
I watched him go; feeling more amused than was strictly warranted. For someone hoping to get a girlfriend, Percy needed to get over his aversion to ‘girl problems’.
One pair of black stockings and two slightly used school skirts later, Percy and I made our way to the bookstore. “I’ve counted the money”, Percy said as we traveled. “I think there is enough to get an owl”.
“Do you want to go to the pet store after this?” I asked as we approached Flourish and Blotts. This was my favorite store in all of Diagon Alley. There was just something thrilling about being surrounded by walls and walls of books. I took the steps leading to the storefront two at a time as Percy followed at a more composed gait.
He hummed to himself. “Let’s go there last”. Percy shadowed my steps as I weaved through the different shelves. “It’s warm today, and I don’t want to keep it in a cage longer than necessary”.
Nodding to prove I was listening, I searched the shelves for a specific title. “What book do you need that we don’t already own?” Percy asked, his eyes tracking my progress.
“Arithmancy”, I answered. “Bill took his copy with him to Egypt”. He also took his Ancient Runes book. But Charlie had a copy we could use.
Percy shook his head. The movement registered in the corner of my eyes. It was nice- no longer needing glasses. There were no frames blocking my peripherals. “I can’t believe you three are taking Arithmancy. Why did Fred and George choose that as one of their electives?”
It was a fair question. Finding the right book, I pulled it from the shelf; wrapping a hand around its spine. Automatically, I noted that it would be the heaviest textbook I’ve ever owned. Including my time at university.
“They’re not taking Arithmancy”, I explained; starting for the till.
“Oh”. Percy sounded surprised. “I assumed…What electives are Fred and George taking?” Fred, George, and I were often lumped together. It wasn’t an annoying assumption. We liked being close. Often inseparable, it's not like we gave people much evidence to think otherwise.
“Care of Magical Creatures and Ancient Runes”, I answered; coming to a halt at the end of the check-out line. “Though we’re taking Ancient Runes together”. I hadn’t known what I wanted to do when the sign-ups for electives came around. Stomaching Trelawney for three years felt nauseating. So, Divination was quickly crossed out.
I wanted to take Care of Magical Creatures. It always sounded like fun in the books. And Buckbeak was a motivating factor. But then I remember the Monster Book of Monsters and ultimately decided it wasn’t worth the headache.
Muggle Studies had been a possibility. I played around with the idea of taking it for weeks. Maybe it would have been a nostalgic experience; learning about things I used to take for granted. On the other hand, it could have been very boring; knowing how things worked and what they were made for.
So, when Fred and George begged me to take Ancient Runes, it didn’t take much convincing. And the only other subject was Arithmancy, so…
“Still. Those two want to take a serious subject like Ancient Runes…” Percy gave another shake of his head. We moved up in line. “But I’m proud of you, Holly”.
The statement had me turning around, my back facing the line. Quirking an eyebrow at Percy, I didn’t need to voice my question. Had he ever been proud of me before? “For branching out. It’s nice to see you thinking for yourself”.
… That felt like a backhanded compliment. Fred and George may be more vocal. But it’s not like they talk for me.
“Thanks, Perce”, I said; deciding to take it at face value. There was no sense in starting an argument. Especially when there was nothing to accomplish. Facing forward once more, there were now only three shoppers ahead of us.
“Um”, Percy mumbled softly. I glanced over my shoulder in his direction. “Are you, by any chance, taking Arithmancy because Pucey is too?”
Groaning, I allowed my shoulders to slump. “Percy”, I complained; turning to face him once again. “This is how rumors get started. Please don’t do this to me”.
Awkwardly, Percy removed his glasses so he could rub them clean with the bottom of his shirt. Anything to avoid eye contact. “Pucey and I are potion lab partners. That is it. I don’t even know what electives he’s taking this year”.
“It’s odd”, Percy argued. “For a Slytherin and a Gryffindor to be partners”.
“Snape paired us up”.
“And then there was that time you were caught exchanging love letters in the halls”, Percy continued.
Damn the Hogwarts rumor mill. “They were notes from class”, I corrected; raising my eyes toward the ceiling and asking Merlin for patience.
“I just think you should focus on your studies instead of… of…” Despite getting tongue-tied and the color quickly filling Percy’s teeth, his eyes expressed earnestness. “Charlie and Bill would agree”.
Clutching my new Arithmancy book to my chest, I suppressed the urge to throw it at my glasses-wearing brother. Oh, well, if Charlie and Bill have an opinion that changes everything!
“For the last time! Pucey and I are just potions partners. We’re not dating and we never will!” My voice came out louder than is appropriate for a bookstore. Percy started to cough and make abortive motions with his hands. But I was on a roll. “I mean, why do people think we like each other? He never smiles. Wouldn’t know a joke if it bit him on the ass. Most of the time, he looks bored out of his mind”.
“Holly-” Percy tried.
“Fred and George can’t stand him. And there’s no way I’m his type. Red hair. Freckles. And three older brothers. Five if we include Fred and George. Good Merlin, dating another Gryffindor will be my only option. A bloke from any other house isn’t going to be brave enough to withstand our family”. Finally, Percy’s anxious motions and panicked eyes clicked in my mind. “What?” I asked; taking a breath.
“Weasley”, a voice greeted from behind.
I twirled around. My school cloak swished against my calves. Standing apart from the shortening line, holding a book wrapped in brown parchment, was the last person I was expecting to see. “Pucey”, I returned the greeting; gulping nervously as my shoulders tensed. How long had he been here? I eyed the wrapped book in his hands. A clear sign of a recent purchase. Had he been in front of us?
…. Had Pucey heard every word?
“Good summer?” Pucey asked. A smug little smile on his face. It was enough to confirm my fears.
“Very pleasant”, I offered; praying to wizard god that my face didn’t currently match my hair. “And yours?”
“Enjoyable”, Pucey said as he cast a sideways glance at Percy. Probably wondering if this brother was one to be wary of.
Pucey was very poised. His disposition matched his neatly groomed hair and pristinely kept clothes. It made me more aware of the patched knees on my brothers’ hand-me-downs. “I must be off. My mother is waiting for me across the street. Weasley”, Pucey acknowledged Percy before returning his attention to me. “And Weasley”. He bowed a little. “See you in Arithmancy”.
As Percy and I watched Pucey exited the book shop, I held my breath. Barely managing to keep it together until Pucey was no longer in sight. Audibly groaning, I thumped my head against the hard cover of my new book; holding it close to my chest to hide my burning face. That prat! He could’ve interrupted Percy and me sooner. If I had known he was here, I wouldn’t have described Pucey like…like that!
“Now”, Percy spoke very slowly. “When you said you didn’t know what electives Pucey was taking…” Percy trailed off upon feeling the heat of my murderous glare.
With arms loaded full of parchment, ink, and other purchases, Percy and I headed for the last stop of the day: Eeylops Owl Emporium. This time, Percy led with a certain amount of pep in his gait. “A barn owl, perhaps. Or maybe an eagle owl”, Percy muttered to himself as he held open the store’s door for me to enter first. I didn’t mind his muttering. It’s nice to see Percy happy for a change.
Taking his time, Percy peered into every cage and studied every owl on every perch. The eagle owl was ruled out for being too domineering. “I’ll be using my owl to submit resumes, after all”, Percy told me.
There’s no room for another great grey in Percy’s heart. That spot was solely held for Erroll. The snowy owl wasn’t even considered as it was “simply too showy”. Before I continued to follow my brother around the shop, I paused to take a closer look. Was this the soon-to-be Hedwig?
… It was a weird feeling.
When I caught up, Percy had moved on to a fake wooden tree with numerous limbs. Each was occupied by a scops owl. “They’re cute”, I said; standing next to Percy as we watched the little owls hoot and hop about.
“Cute”, Percy agreed. Probably just to humor me. “But not efficient. They’re too small to carry a package, and I doubt they’d fare well in foul weather”. Percy spared me a look before moving on. “You must be practical about these types of things, Holly”.
“I don’t need to be practical. You’re practical enough for both of us”, I said evenly as I followed Percy to the screech owls.
Percy wasn’t listening to me. His attention was fixated on a grey screech owl as it groomed its feathers on a singular perch. “He looks like a strong flyer”, Percy said. As if he understood, the owl stopped his preening and fluttered down. Without being asked, he landed on Percy’s shoulder and started tugging at Percy’s curls with his beak. Percy smiled. Taking two fingers, he stroked the bird’s back. “I think he likes me”. Percy’s expression was soft. It was the same one he wore the first time he got to hold Ginny.
“I’m happy for you, Perce”, I said. Even though I think the owl was searching for bugs and feelings of preference played no part in his behavior. But it’s important to let Percy have his moments when he can.
Percy nodded once; having made a decision. As he walked over to the witch sitting behind the front counter to pay, he said, “Looks like Ron will be getting a pet rat”.
And… Suddenly, I’m cursing Percy and his good mood; feeling an unbearable weight on my shoulders. Oh, joy. Ron and his pet psychopath. The very same that he’d carry around in his pockets. The one that I’ve failed to dispose of. World-class big sister, I am.
Sighing disdainfully, I hung my head, not watching as Percy paid for his new friend. I can’t do this. Not by myself.