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Megumi can’t remember the last time he felt at peace before falling asleep. Nightmares plague his mind like a heavy cloud, leaving him jolting upright in his bed, breathing shakily, and wishing that everything could just stop.
He has nightmares about Sukuna and how it felt when that finger went down his throat, cold and forceful. Megumi cannot stomach any food that feels remotely similar anymore, as it only leads to him curled up on the bathroom floor, fighting with the uncomfortable churning of his stomach before inevitably vomiting everything back up into the toilet.
He dreams of Tsumiki and Gojo, their bodies bloodied and lifeless like he remembers. Megumi wonders if he had died instead, things would be different. They would be alive and surely happier without him in the picture. His name means ‘blessing’, but blessings don’t hurt people. Blessings are supposed to bring happiness, not suffering. How can he live a life that he desired so badly for his sister, and she isn’t a part of it? How can he continue being a jujutsu sorcerer without the mentor who raised him since he was six years old? Megumi’s heart feels heavy with guilt every time he’s reminded of what he lost, and he feels like he’s stranded at sea, trying to stay afloat as each wave becomes more violent and harder to power through. He’s tired of swimming for a shore that is no longer in view.
But when he finally feels like he can’t swim anymore, his body is pulled closer to safety, away from the overwhelming storm and into the arms of Yuji Itadori.
“Breathe. You’re okay. Just take a deep breath, alright? I’ve got you.”
In the darkness of his room, he hears a calming voice murmuring gentle words into his ear as Megumi’s body trembles with ragged breaths. He doesn’t register the person wrapping their arms around him until he lets a broken sob leave his lips.
Sometimes when Megumi struggled with falling asleep, Yuji would stay in his room until he felt safe enough to let himself drift off. It was a form of comfort for the two jujutsu sorcerers, and being near each other provided reassurance that they were both still breathing despite everything that they’d gone through within the past year.
Yuji tightens his arms around Megumi with a tender touch, gently running a hand through his hair, and letting him cry into his chest, while the other rubs his back in soothing circles. He feels a lump rise in his throat at each hiccup and cry Megumi lets out, sounding like a wounded animal. “I’m right here.” He whispers.
A few minutes tick by, and Yuji feels Megumi’s breathing slow, his sobs reduced to quiet sniffles and whimpers. He slowly untangles himself from Yuji’s arms, his gaze weary and distant. Yuji’s heart aches in his chest anytime he sees that look cross Megumi’s features, but he remains quiet and patient.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Megumi slowly shakes his head, and Yuji hums with understanding, not pushing any further. He wants to do more, to ease the anguish in Megumi’s heart, but he remains quiet.
Suddenly, an idea pops into Yuji’s head. He hesitates, wondering if this is even a good idea, before he quietly asks, “Do you like stars?”
It seems to work because the second that the question reaches Megumi’s ears, the faraway look in his eyes fades away, replaced with a soft yet confused glance towards Yuji.
“What?” The raven-haired boy questions, voice low and gravelly from all the crying.
“Stars. Do you like them?” Yuji repeats softly, giving Megumi a gentle smile, and he sees it through the moonlight that seeps into the room. It sends a flutter through his chest.
“I don’t know.” He answers simply.
“What do you mean you don’t know? Everyone knows, silly. You either like them or you don’t.” Yuji says with the slightest hint of amusement in his tone, and Megumi can’t help but scoff.
“Itadori, what are you doing?”
“Avoiding the question, I see. I guess you just don’t like stars, then.” Yuji says with a playful scoff, shaking his head. He’s getting somewhere; he knows it.
Megumi stares at Yuji for a moment, and he doesn’t know whether to smack him or laugh. He settles for the latter and lets a quiet chuckle slip from his mouth.
“This isn’t a laughing matter, Fushiguro. Answer the question.” Yuji says with a small chuckle of his own.
“Right. Very serious question...” He responds sarcastically. “I can’t see them right now, so I don’t really have an opinion about the stars.”
Yuji hums and then nods. “Okay. Let’s go see them.”
Megumi furrows his eyebrows, looking puzzled. “Right now? It’s the middle of the night.”
“So? That’s the best time to see them at their best.” Yuji says, gently bumping his shoulder with Megumi’s. “It’ll be a good distraction anyway.”
Megumi remains silent for a moment, and Yuji’s smile fades ever so slightly. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, he thinks.
And then Megumi responds. “Okay.”
Yuji gazes into his green eyes, and he sees no trace of discomfort or reluctance. Instead, he sees trust.
With quiet and careful steps, they make their way onto the training field outside and lie on the grass, looking up at the sky. There’s a comfortable silence between the two boys; the only sound breaking the silence is the quiet chirping of crickets nearby.
“They’re beautiful,” Megumi says softly, his eyes still aimed towards the midnight sky.
“Yeah. They really are.” Yuji responds, his voice just as soft. However, his eyes aren’t on the stars anymore.
Megumi feels Yuji’s gaze on him and slowly turns to meet his eyes. They remain like that for a few seconds before Yuji smiles at Megumi. He smiles in return, and Yuji can feel his stomach do a small flip at the sight.
They inch a little closer to each other as time passes by, until they can feel their hands almost graze each other. Yuji wants to reach over and squeeze Megumi’s hand, but before he can do so, Megumi pulls his hand closer, and they intertwine fingers.
“Thank you.. Yuji.” Megumi says slowly, and Yuji smiles even brighter, squeezing Megumi’s hand.
“You’re welcome, Megumi.”
Megumi doesn’t remember how he fell asleep, but what he does remember is Yuji’s strong, yet gentle arms holding him against his chest, carrying him back to his dorm room. For the first time in weeks, he finally feels at peace. He feels safe.
Megumi knows he’ll reach the shore one day, as long as Yuji stays right by his side.