Chapter Text
“Do you ever think you would hypothetically date me if I asked you out Asakawa?”
Aijou Aiko tries to play her question off as playful. Given her reputation as “the rejection queen” and “love crazed dyke” since the incident in fifth grade, friends had been pretty hard to come by, and even if they were going to different schools, Aiko definitely didn’t want to scare off the only other girl who still talked to her. It didn’t help that Aiko practically fell in love with every girl she met. They were just so pretty and graceful and great (Aiko still half-thinks Aiko’s a girl only because Aiko wants a girlfriend so bad, but Aiko tries to push the thought away and listen to Asakawa).
Asakawa sips her drink thoughtfully and Aiko’s heartbeat is loud enough to drown out the bustle of the family restaurant the two stopped at after junior high grad.
“Wellll…you’re so friendly and cheerful Ai-chan, and you’re really kind too. But even if you were a boy (Aiko felt a gentle flutter of euphoria in Aiko’s stomach, which was nice compared to Aiko bracing for what would probably be another rejection), or if I did like girls…”
Asakawa lets out an unintentional snort of laughter.
“I mean I like you as a friend and all, but thinking of you like a partner is kinda ew, no offence!”
Asakawa breaks out in helpless giggles, which evolve into coughs as her drink goes down the wrong pipe, and Aiko tries to cover up her sudden desire to curl up in a dark corner (of course Asakawa wouldn’t want to date Aiko, it was a miracle Asakawa’d even want to be friends with someone like Aiko) as she gently pats her friend’s back.
“Y-yeah I know, right? It’s like I smell o-or something.”
She forces a laugh alongside Asakawa’s helpless peals of laughter, and quickly changes the subject, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach.
…
After the two finished their drinks (Aiko paid, Aiko didn’t have to but Aiko wanted to make sure Aiko useful, and make up for almost confessing, though Asakawa wouldn’t know) they hugged goodbye and went their separate ways. While Asakawa would be going to a nearby high school, Aiko would be going to a school for ‘special’ students (Aiko had long since looked into the place. It was definitely some sort of educational facility that was crossed with a mental hospital. At least her parents had been forced to send her there by the educational board rather than deciding to send her there herself.), and since Aiko would be leaving to visit her parents at their teaching job in America (it sucked, but at least it gave Aiko an excuse to visit and refresh the hrt Aiko’d been rationing since Aiko couldn’t get any in Japan), she probably wouldn’t meet up with Asakawa for a while (though they would still meet up, it wasn’t as if Asakawa would appear in the first chapter, and just never appear again). Not that Aiko felt like meeting her again so soon. She sighed, thumping her head against a telephone pole. Ending her junior high life with her hundredth rejection feels awful, but Aiko isn’t surprised. Aiko didn’t even really confess that time, and Aiko had been rejected. At least Asakawa was still willing to actually be friends with someone like Aiko. Still, Aiko felt like crying as she trudged home. What was wrong with Aiko? Why would no one love Aiko? What kind of cruel god made Aiko a helpless romantic, and made Aiko unlovable…
Aiko stopped, and looked up to see the shrine. The one for the so-called God of Love™. The same shrine that Aiko had been coming to almost daily for almost sixteen years, since she’d been rejected as an 8-month old boy named Rentarou (Though Aiko allowed herself to acknowledge that was because having a romantic relationship as an infant was weird, and not because of Aiko herself. Babies that old barely could talk, let alone have romances). She tiredly and routinely walked up the path to the shrine again, and bowed her head, only to see the donation box brimming with coins.
…was it even any different than yesterday? No, that was the same somehow real 1000 yen coin she placed on top yesterday. The pile hadn’t even increased or decreased in any amount from what she had donated since…she dug around a bit, fishing out a one yen coin that looked like it was almost 16 years old. Because it was. The box hadn’t lost or gained a single coin since she’d come here and it’d been empty almost 16 years ago (Aiko’d counted all the coins in the box with a glance. Aiko had always been able to do freakish things like that. Just another super humanly freakish quality that made Aiko unlovable. Aiko should just…). All 100000000 yen in coins sat there, untouched. No one was going to even care about Aiko. Not even the God of Love™ that was supposed to love everyone and was responsible for all love cared enough to even just take Aiko’s donations and give her hope.
Aiko was going to die alone.
She began to tremble, her fist inadvertently clenching, she planted a foot on the pillar beside her and kicked it and the wall went down taking the roof with it and the box the accursed box in front of her still but other way and kick and flying and crash and shatter
And woman.
A winged woman. Wearing a robe. …who looks a lot like the statue in the shrine.
…this was either some sort of twisted joke, or some sort of twisted plot device and either way Aiko was still really fucking angry.
She reached out and-Hey my knife! I was cooking with that! How'd you even… that was artisanal! I got that-
“Can we please move on from this gimmicky fourth wall break? We have a story to get on with.”
…I write you, and you’re about to get stabbed. Don’t talk back to me.
“I’m a God. I can stand a knife. Besides, you're a fan! You wouldn’t write anything that Nakamura-san wouldn’t write and Nozawa-san wouldn’t draw.”
If you say so. We’ll just see how this au scenario that Aiko has gone through a ton of mental stress because of you goes then. With me writing.
“…”
“I’m sorry?”
Apology accepted. Also this bit has gone on way longer than I wanted, and I’m sure the reader is getting impatient, so now that you know your place, let’s move on, shall we?
…
“Oooh my heeeead.” The God of Love™ lies crumpled on the ground, unaware of the slowly approaching Aiko. As she raises the blade high the goddess finally stops exaggerating her pain and opens her eyes. She shrieks and crawls back in fear.
“L-l-l-let’s not be hasty here! I may be a goddess, and probably immortal (stupid degenerate fanfic awesome and kind and amazing at writing author didn’t even tell me if I was) but it would really hurt a-a-and I’m here to tell you something important so uh put the knife down please?”
Aiko stared. Eyes red from tears. She stepped forward-
“It has to do with your soulmates!”
…soulmates?
Aiko drops the knife and grabs the goddess’s hands as she screams in terror.
“AAAAAAH OH MY ME PLEASE DON’T HURT ME AAAAAAAAAAAH-“
…
After the God of Love™ stops bawling (Aiko awkwardly pats the attractive deity’s back for a good half hour), she stands before Aiko and glows.
“I am the goddess of this very shrine!”
Aiko would be more awestruck if the goddess’s eyes weren’t swollen from crying so much, and her voice wasn’t raspy from screaming.
She points at Aiko “be at peace Renta-“
“Aiko.” Aiko grits her teeth, feeling a stab in her gut at her deadname.
“Hm?”
“It’s-uh-Aiko now. Not…not the other name.”
“…ohhh. Alright listen, young Aiko! It’s written in the stars that you will meet your destined date(s) in the upcoming school year!”
Aiko’s face fell, and the goddess tilted her head in confusion.
“You mean the fruit, right? I’m destined to get a date fruit next year.”
“…wow, it’s really depressing how quickly your mind made that conclusion,” the goddess flicks Aiko on her forehead “but no young Aiko, you are fated to a significant other, a bosom companion, a soulmate(or rather several)! They are the person chosen at birth to be your most perfect romantic partner ever! You are destined to fall in love at first sight!”
Aiko’s eyes fill with a meager hope, peeking through the wary disbelief.
“…fall in love…at first sight?”
The God of Love™ grins widely (The God of Love™ is hiding something. Aiko practiced Aiko’s smile enough to know a fake smile) her arms outstretched theatrically.
“Yes indeed! And to make things even better, you lucky girl are blessed with the pick of the litter! 100 soulmates to pick and choose from!”
“…you’re lying. What if they don’t love me? Why would they?”
The goddess open her mouth to reassure the girl-
“And if I do get so many soulmates, why would it take this long?”
The goddess slammed her mouth shut and guiltily folded her hands behind her back.
“…statistical improbability? Uh in any case, be prepared to meet your soulmates in the coming spring!”
The God of Love™ glows brightly, then walks over to the shrine, and closes the door behind her. When Aiko goes over and opens it again, the shrine is empty, save for the offering box, empty save for a single envelope resting on top. Aiko opened it, pulling out some sort of credit card, and a letter that read;
Also you’ve spent way too much money on this shrine young lady. I took a hundred yen, spend the rest on your soulmates!
With love
God of Love™
Ps: the pin is 12262019
Aiko held the credit card up. Emblazoned with a big heart (also the credit card number was 100grlfrnds? Was that even a real credit card number?) it was the only sign that whatever that was had actually happened (even the offering box was fixed, which was a relief since Aiko didn’t want to inconvenience anyone in having to repair it).
…ah. Her stomach felt light, and her heart was fluttering. For the first time since fifth grade, Aiko let herself be lost to the feeling of love again. There was someone(s) to love her after all.