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A light breeze was gently brushing the branches of the fresh-leaved trees, as the afternoon scenery started to make its presence be seen in the city. Rays of sunshine were placing soft kisses on your profile, as you leaned on your elbow, a long breath escaping from your nose. That was the day. The day you were less excited to come than any other of the year. Results day. Yes, that's right. Studying for the exam week didn't bother you as much as waiting for your results. What if you handn't worked hard enough? What if you thought you had known all the answers, but, in fact, you have made a lot of mistakes? The pressure was way too much for you to handle.
Your fingers were tapping nervously on the desk, as the japanese teacher was swaying around the classroom. After what seemed like an eternity, he reached your seat, offering you the test paper. A strange feeling clenched on your chest, as you noticed the slight frown on his face.
-I am dissappointed of you, L/N. he affirmed, shaking his head.
Yes, there it was: the phrase you were afraid to hear. Your shoulders tensed, glancing at the file in front of you.
"No...No, no, no! There is no way this is happening!"
Squinting your eyes, you scanned the red mark once again: 47. You failed your exam. A mix of disbelief and annoyance covered you figure, as your trembling hand traced over the exercices.
"No. This can't be true..."
Blinking a few times, you tried removing the tears that were forming in the corner of your eyes. The students' chatter faded into the background, as a tornado of negative thoughts raced through your mind, making your temples ache.
One of your classmates asked you about your grade, but you couldn't manage to face him properly, still zooning out. The sound of the bell signalated the end of the course, waking you up from your daydreaming. Packing your stuff in a hurry, you exited the room, not even glancing at the others calling out your name. Some of them shared looks of confusion, a wave of whispers corrupting the atmosphere. You never left like that, and most important, your usual confident aura was nowhere to be seen. It was weird.
[...]
A heavy sigh escaped your lips, as you were trying to calm down your shivering body. Even though you had a blurried vision, you could read the bad score written on the paper: 51. Many would say that it wasn't the end of the world, since you passed, but to you, it was. Science was the subject you were best at, and recieving such a low mark was like an arrow piercing through your heart. Comments about your troubled state spread like wildfire among the students, amplyfing your frustration.
"This is not good. I need to get a grip of myself! "
-Hey, L/N! Wanna grab lunch with us? asked one of your friends, interrupting your thoughts.
-Um...Sorry, but I don't feel hungry right now. You guys go without me. you refused her proposal, a reassuring, yet forced smile plastered on your face.
The girls sensed you were not in the mood to talk, so they decided not to pry further. However, that didn't mean they were not starting to worry about you. Shaking your head, you put the sheet in your folder, then left the classroom, hoping that you won't get overehelmed later by your friends' questions about the results. You didn't want to seem rude, but you needed some time alone to process what had happened.
[...]
As Friday approached, the weight you had on your shoulders kept growing. You had barely passed your exams, and that was not a good sign. You were L/N Y/N. The L/N Y/N: class 3-5 representative, one of Nekoma's top students, who never got a bad grade in all of her years of highschool. People admired you for your intelligence and humble nature, even the teachers, who always praised you for your hard work and implication in your duties. Despite being an A+ student, you never acted superior, being friendly with everyone and always supporting your colleagues. That's why you had been chosen to be class president in the first place.
Now that you recieved unpleseant results for your mid-term exams, all your energy drained out of yourself, your cheerful nature changing into a distant one. Everyone noticed your strange behaviour, including the head-teacher, Ms Nakamura.
-Y/N, can we talk for a minute?
You stopped in your tracks, turning back to the middle-aged woman. You could read the glint of concern in her eyes and you were aware of what she wanted to discuss.
-Yes, Nakamura-sensei. Is there anything I could help you with?you questioned politely, in your casual tone.
-*chuckle* In fact, that's the question I've been willing to ask you. Is everything all right? I've heard from my colleagues that you weren't in your best shape lately.
You took a deep breath. Of course she would know about it. You were her model student, after all. And you also knew how much she cared about your well-being, and her intentions were not to scold you, but to help you. Still, even though she was kind, you couldn't open up to her. You didn't want to be a burden, especially when you couldn't figure what was wrong yourself. Or maybe you could, but you were just afraid. Afraid to show vulnerability.
-I...I have to admit that there have been a lot of things in my mind lately, and perhaps that's why I struggled with my exams. However, I am way better now and I can assure you that my performances would go back to normal. you explained, wishing she would dismiss you.
The woman frowned slightly, already expecting that answer from you. She hoped that maybe, for once, you would allow someone to help you, not dealing with everything on your own. Apparently, you were too stubborn.
-Fine. I won't be insistent. But please, if there is something bothering you, at home or with your friends, I am always here to listen and lend you a hand.she spoke softly, recieving an approving nod from you.
-Thank you, I really appreciate it.
And with that, you made your way to the corridor, without noticing the two pair of eyes who were watching you.
-Did you see that?wondered Kuroo, pointing in your direction.
-Mhm. That was odd. L/N is never held back by the teachers. stated Yaku, his amber gaze also following your sihlouette.
-Exactly! And she didn't brag to us about her exam results either. Not.a.single.time. the brunette gestured dramatically with his hands, empathysing on the gravity of the situation.
Indeed, that was strange. As it was mentioned before, you were very friendly towards all your classmates...Well, not all of them. Kuroo and Yaku were exceptions. Ever since you entered Nekoma, you formed a sort of 'academic rivarly' with them, since the three of you were top students, who excelled in sience. Playful teasing about the others' lower scores and ocasional bickering about some wrong answers to the exercices were the best way to describe your interractions. You wouldn't call them friends, but neither enemies. Just colleagues, who shared opinions on school notions from time to time, and who hated each others' guts.
-You should check up on her and see what's wrong.
-Huh? What?! Why me?!the libero snapped his head to the middle-blocker, who was looking at him with his iconic smirk.
-We both know why. Don't play dumb.
-...
The blonde avoided his stare, a shade of pink rising on his cheeks. He didn't want to admit it, but Kuroo was right. They both knew why: because Yaku was down bad for Y/N. Despite not having the best relationship, due to their academic rivarly, the boy couldn't help but fall in love with you. Your pretty eyes, accompanied by thick curtains of lashes, who hid a glint of mischief and amusment whenever you teased him. The h/c curls that waltzed on your shoulders every time you leaned on your elbow to write down your notes. Your greaceful sihlouette, that always moved confidently when you were at the board, solving some of the most difficult exercices he's ever encountered. Your shooting voice, that could both calm down someone in need for reassurance and send shivers through the spines of those who dared to argue with you. Not to mention all the little things you did, such as tapping your chin with a pencil when you couldn't understand the lesson, or how your expression would lit up if your friends brought you sweets. You were beautiful. Truly beautiful. There was no point in denying that.
-Good luck, Yakkun~Kuroo nudged the shorter male's arm, then left.
"Gosh, what did I drag myself into?"
The libero murmured under his breath, as his steps reached the backyard. Cold raindrops pierced the blanket of clouds above him, making their way to his fluffy hair. He should've brought an umbrella. Ignoring his draining uniform, he scanned the surroundings for your figure. To his surprise, after about 10 whole minutes of searching, he found you in front of the gym, sitting on the staircase, hugging your knees. The sight made his heart ache. He had never seen you crying before and hell, he would have never wanted to witness that, but there he was, frozen in place, not knowing how to approach you. A long breath escaped his lips, before he finally moved closer to the stairs. You weren't aware of his presence, the hustling sound of the rain complementing your sobs perfectly. You needed this. A moment of peace. A moment to let go of the emotions you've been bottleing up for so much time.
-Hey.
Suddenly, you perked your head up, your gaze meeting an amber one.
"Yaku? What is he doing here?"
The male pointed suggestively to the seat next to you, then you shifted slightly, letting him sit by your side. Honestly, you were surprised to see him there, and weren't quite sure how to react. You looked like a mess, clothes soaking wet and eyes red from crying, and yet you let him join you, putting aside your usual strong ego.
-Look, L/N. I can tell you've been through a lot recently, and you probably aren't in the mood to talk, especially with me, but I'm here for you if you need someone to share your thoughts with.the boy started, as you watched him, unconvinced.
-*sigh*I know I might sound stupid, and perhaps you just need some time to figure things out on your own, but I can't simply leave you like this: alone, in the rain. You are hurting, and soon you might get a cold, aswell. I cannot let those things pass. he continued, a feeling of warmth rising in your chest.
"What's up with him? Does her really mean all that?"
You turned your face back to the pavement in front of you, not uttering a word. What was there to say? Could you really bother him with your struggles? You weren't even friends in the first place....But still, there was something in his soft tone and in the way he looked at you that gave you a sense of comfort. He cared. No pretending. He actually did.
-Are you sure you want to listen to your rival vent about her pathetic life?you managed to say, recieving a snicker from your classmate.
-I don't think your life it's pathetic. But yeah, as I've just mentioned, I'm here to listen.
Letting out a sigh, your mouth started rambling about the negative ideas that corrupted your brain and that you were too afraid to say aloud until then.
-All right, then. Where should I start? Hmm...Have you ever felt like a failure? Like you've worked really hard for something, thinking you might achieve succes, but in the end, you mess everything up?you questioned rethorically, a hum of akwnoladgement coming from the guy beside you.
-Well, that's how I felt lately, beacause I failed almost all my exams...
You took a deep breath, your shoulders relaxing as you kept talking.
-I am supposed to be the L/N Y/N, top student at Nekoma, the one who never had a low mark, but...This time, I...I didn't live up to those expectations. I know that some would say it's not a big deal, since we are all humans and everyone does mistakes, and I have to admit, maybe I am overreacting, but I can't shake the thoughts of me being a dissapointment. How am I supposed to tell my parents that I barely passed? Both of them are successful doctors: my mother, a dentist and my father, a cardiologist. As their daughter, I just had to follow their footsteps into having a medicine career, even though that was not my passion. I never got the chance to express my opinion about what I want to do in the future, since it was already decided by them. Ever since I was a kid I was put under a lot of pressure to study, have good grades and enter a top university. At first, I didn't know I was manipulated, but as time passed, I realised I did not have a healthy lifestyle: waking up early, going to school in the morning, getting back home, doing my chores and then preparing for bed. And I was alone, all day. My parents were always busy, coming back late for work and sometimes doing shifts during weekends. They didn't let me go outside and play with the other children around my age, either. I was isolated, with my nose in books. They might say that was a useful experience, that made me more independent and helped me become the A+ student I am today...But I did not want that. I needed to hang out with my family. I needed to be a kid. To enjoy those years of my life, not waste them for some stupid school marks. I've turned into a perfectionist workaholic...Isn't that just great?
A wave of anger rushed through your veins while recalling those memories, a humorless laugh escaping your lips. Clanching your fists, you finally turned to Yaku.
-*Sigh* I don't want to let them down, but most important, I don't want to dissapoint myself. I want to prove that all those years of hard work and missed oportunities were not for nothing. you stated firmly, a glint of determination rising on your features.
-Ugh! I hate moments like this...When my negative thoughts about "not being good enough" are stronger than my inner voice. you whispered, avoiding his gaze again.
Silence filled the spece between the two of you, until a gentle hand made its way around your back, pulling you into an embrace. You were stunned at first, stealing a glance at the libero, then closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. Despite both having water dripping from your uniforms, his hug brought warmth to your body. It felt nice. It was nice not having to hide your concerns anymore. He patted your head reassuringly, his breath tickling your cheek.
-I...I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I am supposed to say.
-Don't worry. You don't have to say anything. Your presence is enough for me.you shut him up, before snuggling even more in his chest.
After a long pause, he tried engaging a conversation again.
-I know I am not able to fully understand your struggles, but I think I can relate to you to a certain point.
You lifted your visage, signalating him to elaborate.
-Well...I am not a stranger to the fear of failure. It's been haunting be for years. I was raised by a single mother, alongside my younger brothers. Our father left us soon after the twins turned seven, apparently due to the fact that he was seeing another woman. Mom was completely devastated, and I hated to watch her cry every night because of the selfish man she used to call husband. I felt betrayed, too, since he was the person I admired the most, and finding out about his infidelity was like a knife stabbing my back. As the eldest son, I had to take the responsability of his role in the house, helping Mom out with whatever I could, from doing chores and babysitting my siblings, to studying a lot in order to have a stable job in the future and support my family.
You stared at him in shock, not being able to take the news. Yaku was one of the most cheerful people you knew, and finding out about his backstory made your heart sink.
-I was afraid that if I allowed myself to be someone other than the "mature kid", I wouldn't do enough for them.he murmured on a lower tone, moving his gaze to the cloudy sky.
-But then I met Kai and Kuroo, the best friends I could've ever wished for. From walking together to school to joining the volleyball club, all those moments that we shared, no matter how childish some of them were, helped me erase those doubts from my mind.
A soft grin formed on his face, as he leaned his head back onto yours.
-Those guys showed me that I don't have to always act responsible if I want to help my family. It might sound a little rocky, since I could've figured that out on my own...But sometimes we need to hear those 'Everything will be fine' , 'You can do this! ', 'We are here for you', from someone.
You sliently nodded, his words sinking in your brain.
"Yup, he is right. Maybe if I let people help me sooner, then I wouldn't have ended up having a breakdown in the middle of the rain"
-I am glad to hear that you are better now. And thank you, Yaku, for being here for me. you thanked the boy, then slowly shifted away from his embrace.
-Morisuke.
-Huh?
You blinked twice, not being sure that you understood his phrase correctly.
-You can call me Morisuke. he affirmed, a tint of blush creeping under his eyes.
-Okay, then you can call me Y/N, aswell. you added, your skin turning shade of pink.
-So...Now that we got some wheights over our shoulders, how about we go to the nearby caffé and grab a hot drink to warm ourselves up? he suggested, his usual playful smile plastered on his lips.
-Sure! But I think we might catch a cold anyway, since...You know...We kind of stayed outside in the rain for at least half an hour?
He chuckled upon hearing your remark, being glad that your mood was going back to normal. Then, he stood up, offering you a hand and interwining it with yours. And so, the two of you headed to the coffee shop, your small laughter filling the atmosphere, ignoring the raindrops that were kissing your sihlouettes.
Who whould've though that your academic rival was actually the person who could give you the happiness you were missing?