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About 2 minutes into Lafayettes report Washington had noticed something wasn't quite right. The usually very happy and cheerful boy seemed to have lost his usual bounce in his step, ever present smile, and the familiar gleam in his eye were all gone. As he recited his report his voice seemed softer, lighter and hesitant where once confident. Washington immediately felt worry pool in his gut. Maybe too much. It was no secret he cared deeply for the young Frenchman.
Since they first met Washington had been intrigued if suspicious at the boys willingness to fight for the cause and free at that. But Washington didn't doubt for a second that his intentions were anything but sincere after their first conversation. The young boy had passion for the cause and he endeared Washington to no end. If anything he saw some part of himself in the kid. As he stumbled over English words and his brow furrowed slightly whenever he heard one he didn't understand. The willingness to fight, the passion, the hatred of the British and that gleam in his eye. He saw a younger him in there. The son he might have known.
Still he listened intently until the end. As Lafayette turned to leave he called for him to stay. The boys face contorted in confusion before he straightened up choosing not to question it.
"Is everything alright?" Washington hesitantly asked. Somewhat he knew his feelings were returned. To what extent he didn't know, neither did he know if it were to invasive and not his place to ask. Lafayette slouched slightly upon realising this was about something unrelated to the war. The boy nodded.
"Yes everything's fine, sir" he replied trying to give a smile which didn't reach his eyes. Washingtons heart sank slightly at the effort the young man put into trying to make everything seem okay.
"Are you sure?, you seem a bit down today" he tried. Laf opened his mouth to reply a few times before giving up slouching some more.
"What's bothering you?" Laf looked down suddenly finding his shoes very interesting. Staring at his boots as he moved his feet around slightly. He opened his mouth again to reply.
"I just," he started before giving a quick shake of the head.
"It's ridiculous really, I wouldn't want to burden you with my troubles," he said finally. Washington shook his head,
"It's not burdening me, if something is bothering you I want to know." He informed him fondly. Lafayette glanced up at him briefly.
"I just get sad, sometimes." Washington nodded waiting for him to continue.
"It's really silly," Lafayette said again.
"If it's made you sad it's not silly then," Washington reassured him. Lafayette took a deep breath.
"Alexander, he is to be a father soon. He.. I just he was talking about it and it just made me sad," he tried. Washington furrowed his brows slightly confused.
"Do you.. Miss your own kids?" He asked. Lafayette huffed a laugh slightly before shaking his head.
"No well I mean yes I do, a lot but that's not why I was..mm," he took another deep breath. Washingtons heart sank even further when he saw a tear roll down the boys face, quickly followed by two more on the other side. Lafayette quickly wiped them away trying to hide them but more came as soon as he took his hands away.
"Sorry I didn't think I'd get so um e- emotional," Lafayette apologised stuttering over the tough word. Washington got up from his seat and walked around to lean on the front of his desk in front of Lafayette as laf pressed his palms into his eyes muttering under his breath. Washington handed him his handkerchief which he great fully took.
"It just made me think of my own papa, I miss him and I can hardly even remember him. I don't know what I miss really." He got out quickly before apologising again.
"I- sorry it's silly, I told you," Washington shook his head placing a comforting hand on Lafayettes shoulder.
"I understand," he told the much younger man. And he did. In a different way. There were times when he would sit and listen to endless stories about his generals or friends sons and long for one of his own. When he regretted never having any children. When he longed for someone to be proud of, to be protect and to look after. He pretended with his younger generals. Taking pride in there accomplishments and the nickname of son. But it never felt quite right.
Lafayette looked up at him teary eyed and Washington felt a pang in his chest. Moving forwards he brought the younger man into a hug. Lafayette immediately wrapping his smaller arms around Washingtons large figure. They stayed like that for a while. Washington soothingly rubbing lafayettes back pulling the boy closer. Washington began to feel lafayettes muscles convulse through the clothing. A warm wet feeling on his neck as laf cried on him. The two remained silent for a while Washington a comforting presence as laf tried to calm himself down. When his father had died he had been too shocked to mourn properly always thinking of his papa as this larger then life figure. Once that wore off he was too busy comforting his mother and putting on a brave face. Once she died he had joined the military and there was no room for weakness or tears. He had never been given a proper opportunity to mourn and now almost several years later it was all coming out. Mourning his papa, Mourning his maman wishing he could talk to them, wishing they were here to be proud of him maybe be a bit mad at him for running off like adrienne was. Someone to look after in return for looking after and raising him. As he began to calm down he felt his cheeks flush realising he had just spent 10 minutes sobbing into the generals neck. He moved to push away and Washington let him. He wiped his tears away.
"I'm sorry I don't know what came over me," he apologised immediately feeling very embarrassed. Surprisingly, Washington pulled him into another hug shaking his head softly.
"Don't apologise you're allowed to be upset," he hugged him tighter placing a gentle kiss on his forehead before softly saying.
"In another life, you would have been my son." Lafayettes heart felt like bursting in his chest at the sentiment. Always seeing Washington just like his father. An invincible larger then life figure. His idol and someone he held on a high pedistool.
"What a shame it's not this life," Lafayette said sadly trying to convey just how much he meant it.
"Even so, even if not in blood you will always be..my son," and Washington meant it. From the moment he saw the passion in the Frenchman that reminded him so much of the young himself. He would always love and feel as if Lafayette was his own. Lafayettes chest and stomach was in a frenzy fluttering as his head tried to calm down. He wrapped his arms around Washingtons torso pulling him into a tight hug. Washington let out a small oof of surprise looking down at the sweet young boy hugging his torso. He smiled fondly before moving one hand to wrap around the boys back letting the other one fondly stroke the French mans hair. They stayed like that for a while. Both radiating joy. Lafayette finally had a father again and Washington finally had a son. Even if it wasn't by blood of law. That didn't change the love they held for each other. In the future things may grow dark - they are at war after all, and eventually Lafayette will have to return to France. If he survives but for now they were okay. As a small odd kind of family, accepted by each other.
And yet people say you can't choose your family.