Archive of Our Own

Jeno and Jisung aren’t exactly friends. At least not in the most conventional of senses. Sure, they move in the same circle, share close friends, go to the same parties and dinners, hell last summer when Jisung and Chenle moved out of university housing and into an apartment Jeno carried Jisung’s bed frame up four flights of stairs. But it's hard to maintain a genuine friendship, in the truest sense of the word, with someone who’s fucking your boyfriend. 

Plus Jeno has friends. Jaemin is his very best friend and Jaemin’s boyfriend Mark is also his friend. Chenle and Donghyuck of course. He even has older friends: Doyoung, Jaehyun, Daehyun… There is genuinely no shortage of people in his life to fill that sort of role: confidant, cheerleader, therapist. 

Don’t get him wrong, he likes Jisung, he’s kind and quiet but when he does talk it’s funny, intelligent. It’s not like Renjun would be sleeping with him if he weren’t a person of at least marginal quality! That was the thing though, it felt a little odd to be all buddy-buddy with the guy considering his and Renjun’s… relationship, or whatever you wanted to call it. 

Maybe it was because he wasn’t used to it yet?

When they’d first started dating, Renjun had been pretty explicit about what he wanted. They didn’t have an open relationship, per se, but if Renjun met someone he wanted to fuck and they wanted to fuck him too, he would let Jeno know and Jeno would simply give him a big kiss and a ‘Go get ‘em tiger!’ before sending him on his way. It wasn’t a big deal. Jeno liked Renjun so much and at the end of the day he was the one Renjun loved. He was the one who shared his bed, his home. 

None of the other people Renjun slept with stuck around, until Jisung. 

They met for the first time at the VC store near their apartment, Jeno read about a new cozy game released earlier in the month, but when they got there Renjun made his way over to the records section and Jeno went to the new releases, but he couldn’t find it. So he found the nearest employee and asked. 

“Excuse me?” The employee, kneeling on the ground and sorting through a freshly opened box, startles, head popping up. “Sorry, I didn’t meant to scare you.”

He’s young looking, or at least younger than Jeno and Renjun, and once the surprise wears off he looks up at Jeno with wide eyes. 

“Oh, you didn’t. I mean you did, but it’s okay.”

He purses his plush lips, like he’s trying to force himself to stop talking. Cute.

“Well, I was looking for a game called Calico? It’s new but I didn’t see it over there.” He gestures over to the new release shelf at the front and the guy follows the movement with his eyes. “Could you help me?”

“Uh, yeah, of course. I think it was moved for the new Fall Out release.” He stands up, leaving behind the games he was sorting. He's tall, a good three or so inches on Jeno, and broad, but he carries himself carefully. “It should be over here.”

He leads Jeno along the aisles until they find the one he’s looking for, no different to any of the others to Jeno’s eye. Halfway down, on the second shelf from the bottom, is the game. The employee bends down and plucks up one of the few copies left off and hands it to Jeno. 

“Did you find it?”

Renjun appears at his elbow clutching a stack of old records with worn paper sleeves. One of his favorite things to do is buy as many as he can afford and play roulette when they get home, testing to see if they’re in good condition. He keeps them either way, his collection displayed in their living room. 

“Yeah! Well, I didn’t it was…” he trails off realizing he doesn’t know the employee’s name. 

At Jeno expectant gaze he fills in the blank. “Jisung.”

Jeno nods, then glances back to Renjun, brandishing his new game. “All thanks to Jisung.”

Renjun cocks his head. 

“JIsung… you don’t happen to know Chenle?”

“Zhong Chenle?” Jisung’s eyebrows raise. “Uh, yeah he’s my roommate. Why, do you?”

They both nod. “Chenle is a friend of a friend.” Renjun tells him. 

“Oh wow, small world. So you guys are…”

“I’m Jeno and this is my boyfriend Renjun.”

Jisung hums to himself. “Okay, yeah! Chenle’s mentioned you guys before. What a small world.”

Jeno is too caught up in the coincidence to clock it right then, but Renjun is making a familiar flirty face at Jisung now, like a cat watching a bird through the window. 

“Say, Jisung… do you actually work here?”

Wait, what? Jeno snaps his gaze to the younger boy, who’s blushing a little now, his cheeks and nose pinking up. 

“Wait, you don't work here?” Jisung, reluctantly shakes his head, just once. “Why didn’t you say?”

He’s confused, more about how Jisung even knew how to find the game if he's not even an employee than anything, but Jisung doesn’t answer. Or well, he starts to, opening his mouth before closing it and laughing, making a face Jeno doesn’t quite understand. Before he can continue Renjun cuts him off. 

“Hey, it's okay. I get it.” 

Again Jeno is confused. What exactly does he ‘get'? It's a mystery he’ll never solve because Renjun moves swiftly on. 

“I think there’s a group hang or something on Friday, make sure Chenle brings you along.”

Jisung smiles. “Sounds good. It was nice to meet you.” He glances between them. “Both of you.”

Renjun just smiles and starts pulling Jeno along after him, toward the register. 

"Nice to meet you too Jisung! See you!” Jeno says, throwing the goodbye over his shoulder as he follows his boyfriend back down the aisle the way they’d come. 

Sure enough on Friday Chenle shows up with his roommate in tow. He’s dyed his hair since they saw him last, a russet red that matches the color of his cheeks after a few drinks. Jeno doesn't get to talk to him much, as he's too busy talking to Yangyang about work and Jisung stays pretty much plastered to Chenle’s side all night. But he does see him talking to Renjun once or twice, when their orbits overlap, and they seem to be hitting it off. 

Later on the drive home Renjun will take his right arm hostage, tucking into his shoulder and drifting off in the quiet of the car. 

“He reminds me of Clifford, with his hair that color.” Jeno says and Renjun opens one eye to look up at him. 

“Hmm?"

“Jisung. His hair is red, and he’s all big and shy, but sweet. Like Clifford, the dog.”

“Huh, I guess you’re right. Gentle giant vibes.” He says, then drifts off back to sleep. 

From that night on Jisung is a fixture in their friend group and in their lives in general, because as it turns out Renjun and Jisung really hit it off.

“What do you guys talk about?”

Jeno is arranging ingredients from their latest meal kit shipment on the counter, labeling them for whichever day of the week they plan to have the meal, while Renjun watches, sketching on the margins of a design for work. 

He takes a second to answer.

“All kinds of things. We both love art and space—he subscribes to the NASA newsletter too. He used to take ballet like me.”

Jeno smiles, reminded of one of the baby pictures of Renjun his mom showed him on her last visit; Renjun in a tutu and a cape, sticking his tongue out beside the bar.

“We both believe in aliens.”

Jeno goes from a smile to an out loud laugh and Renjun frowns.

“Don’t tell me you suddenly don’t believe in aliens… I showed you the documentaries on YouTube!”

Jeno holds his hands up. “No, no, I just think it’s funny you two have so much in common.”

Renjun mouths a silent ‘Oh’.

“It’s also just funny you were able to get him to talk that much. I feel like anytime I’m close enough he,” Jeno snaps to attention in an exaggerated mime before relaxing and grabbing his wine glass. “Clams up.”

He watches Renjun’s reluctant smile bloom across his face.

“He’s shy but I think I’m just kind of unassuming. Easy to talk to.” He says, then motions at Jeno’s general person. “Plus I don’t have all that going on.”

Jeno looks down to see what ‘all of that’ might be referring to.

“Come on Jen. The muscles, the jawline… plus you’re just as shy as Jisung but your shyness makes you look mad. Like the most mad, most polite puppy that ever lived.” He says, leaning over to scratch under Jeno’s chin, (which he only lets himself enjoy for a second or two) before pulling away in a huff.

“I resent the implication that you’re not intimidatingly gorgeous.” He says and just then a light bulb clicks in his head. “Maybe he just thinks you’re cute, did you think of that?”

Renjun laughs now, loudly. “Trust me, I don't think we have to worry about that.”

Jeno wasn’t worried about it. He still isn’t worried about it to this day. He may have had the most brief, near infinitesimal bit of worry the day Renjun brought up the idea of them sleeping together, but he’d gotten over it so quickly he hardly feels like it counts. 

He remembers the very first time it ever happened. Not with Jisung, but with someone whose name he doesn’t even remember now, when they were in college and just started dating. It was one of the only times they’d ever argued as a couple, or at all for that matter.

When he and Renjun got together he’d told Jeno that he wanted to date him, but that he also wanted his freedom.

“So we wouldn’t be exclusive?”

“No… Well, yes! I want us to be an exclusive. But if I ever meet someone who I really want to just… have sex with, I’d like to know I can—if I want.”

“So you can have sex with whoever, but otherwise…?” Jeno asked. 

He knew it might be coming across that way but he isn’t being purposefully obtuse. He just wants to make sure he understands everything perfectly.

“Otherwise we’re totally exclusive! Right!”

It made sense to Jeno, and he agreed without hesitation; not just because he was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t but because he really wanted Renjun to have what he wants. 

Jeno would already have what he really wanted: Renjun.

The first time doesn’t come for a long time. They’ve been seeing each other exclusively for almost six months when Renjun runs into someone from class at a party and they start talking. Jeno is right there and it’s impossible not to notice that Renjun and this guy are touching each other a lot. Like a lot. 

Renjun is doing that slutty little thing he does with his drink where he sticks his tongue out ever so slightly on the rim as he goes to take a sip and the guy is laughing at every little thing Renjun says. 

It doesn’t take long for the moment to come that Jeno understands that this is going to happen: Renjun is going to have sex with this person that Jeno doesn’t know. Without Jeno there. He probably won’t even think about Jeno the whole time. It doesn’t make him feel mad, or frustrated, or disgusted. He just feels—suddenly—alone.

So he gets up and he leaves.

He doesn’t make it very far before he hears Renjun following after him. 

“Hey! Jeno, what the hell! Where are you going?”  He stops on the spot, waiting for Renjun who’s scurried along after him. 

“Home?”

“What, why? Why are you leaving me?”

Jeno throws his hands up. “Why are you leaving me?”

“What are you talking about?”

Jeno sighs and grabs his wrist, pulling him through a nearby door into an empty room and closes it behind them. Renjun sways on the spot, crossing his arms as he waits for Jeno to explain. But he doesn’t want to explain. It’s embarrassing. 

“Jen, come on you have to talk to me or this doesn’t work.”

“What doesn’t work?”

“Us! Me and you!”

Jeno shakes his head, “See that’s where I’m confused because we’ve been seeing each other for months now, exclusive or whatever and we still aren’t official. And I know I agreed to all this and I really don’t care if you want to fuck other people but what if…”

“What if what?”

“What if they’re better than me? What if you fuck that guy back there and you decide you’d rather be exclusive with him and fuck other people? Or what if you decide you like being single more? What’s stopping you?”

Renjun’s eyes go soft and all the tension leaves his shoulders. 

“Oh baby…”

Jeno wipes at the angry tears brimming up in his eyes. “”M not a baby! I’m serious!” He says, but when Renjun crowds into his space, wiping at his cheeks and holding him close he doesn’t fight it. 

“Let’s get a few things straight, okay?” Jeno doesn’t speak, petulant. “First of all, I wouldn’t have just fucked that guy, not without talking to you first. We’re a team and even if I sleep with other people, you’re my partner, not them.”

Jeno again doesn’t respond, waiting to hear the rest.

Which brings me to my second point which is that, when I asked you to be exclusive I meant I want to date exclusively. Be boyfriends. A real proper long-term relationship.”

This makes Jeno pause, blinking down at Renjun’s pretty, concerned face. 

“You do?”

“Yes you big handsome idiot. As long as you still want that, we’re together, for real. I love you Jeno.”

He’s never said it before. Neither has Jeno, but he’s felt it for a long time, maybe even longer than they’ve been exclusive. But hearing Renjun confirm it—declare his love for Jeno—it removes a weight he didn’t know he was carrying from his shoulders. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Renjun leans in and kisses him, so sweetly. “So do you want that still?”

“Of course I do. I want all of that too.” 

Jeno smiles wide, unable to believe his luck and Renjun watches him carefully. 

“So you really weren’t mad or jealous, you just… wanted us to be committed.” In the past Renjun has tried dating but he never felt like anyone really understood what he wanted. He’d told Jeno that the last guy he thought about dating called him a whore when he explained it. 

“Yeah, I don’t care about you sleeping with people. I meant that. But if you're going to be with other people too I just need to know you’re coming home to me… so to speak. Logistically I’m not sure if that—“

“Okay, done with communication for now!” Renjun cuts him off with a frantic kiss. “I love you and I would like it a lot if you let me how you just how much.”

He pushes Jeno back until he’s falling on the bed and spends the rest of the night doing just that, undressing him and kissing him all over and opening him slow until Jeno’s crying again, this time begging for Renjun to just fuck him already. The memory of that night in a stranger’s bed with what he now knows is the love of his life was almost enough to make him want to make arguing a regular thing. 

But they didn’t ever argue about the arrangement again. The next time it comes up Jeno knows before Renjun asks, pulling him to the side, away from the dance floor where some guy has been eyeing him all night, and then he waits at the bar while Renjun drags the stranger away to the toilets to fuck or get fucked, he's never really sure.

All he knows is Renjun comes back pink cheeked and refreshed, sometimes sleepy, but always happy, and always back to him. 

Jisung is different for a number of reasons. 

First of all, he isn’t a faceless stranger in a bar or the airport or wherever, he’s one of their friends. Someone they see regularly and that, if he and Renjun were to have sex, they will have to continue to see. He and Renjun have a pre-existing relationship that generally exceeds that of any of his other hook-ups. It’s not a pre-requisite of course—there are technically no rules about who Renjun can sleep with or anything like that—but it’s just different. 

All of this runs through his mind when Renjun first brings it up. They’ve known Jisung personally for almost a year at this point and no matter what he’d said about Jisung maybe thinking Renjun was cute, he hadn’t clocked the attraction between them. He could usually tell when Renjun was going to ask, but with Jisung he’d had no clue. Then again they weren’t usually walking hand in hand through the farmer’s market when it happened, so. 

“I’m thinking about sleeping with Jisung.”

Renjun just says it, apropos of nothing, sipping his dirty chai like he’s asked if Jeno thought it was too early in the season to start buying tomatoes. 

“Oh?” What else is there to say, really. 

“Yeah. I know it’s not the usual… thing but I’ve been thinking about it. You know I won’t if you don’t want me to. We decide together.”

It was may be an overstatement. They don’t necessarily decide together—Jeno just kind of agrees because he doesn’t care. The only time he’s ever said no was because he felt like Renjun was too drunk to sleep with anyone, period, and he didn’t think it was safe. But that incident sort of proved at least one part of Renjun’s statement: he won’t do it if Jeno says no. 

He tries to think of a reason why he should say no but can’t off the top of his head. “You don’t think it will be awkward?”

“Awkward?”

“You know he’s our friend, he’ll be around.”

Renjun blinks like he hasn’t considered that at all. “Maybe when I talk to him I can bring that up.”

The ‘when’ doesn’t escape Jeno’s notice, but before he can comment Renjun groans. “Fuck I mean if, not when. Sorry.” 

Jeno would be lying if the slip up doesn’t prickle at the back of his neck a little, but he knows it’s not like that. He understands their arrangement and he trusts their love. That’s the bottom line. 

“I don’t really have a problem with it, but why don’t you talk to him and just see how he feels about it? Since it is a little different. Does he even know about our deal?”

“I think Chenle may have told him because he’s a lousy gossip, but I’m not sure. He’s never mentioned it. But you’re right, it’s different.” He sighs. “Besides he may not even want me like that.”

He stops at a stall filled with leafy greens and fresh herbs and starts browsing half heartedly and Jeno stops, wrapping Renjun in his arms and leaning in. 

“He’d be stupid to reject you.” He says. “You’re the most beautiful person on the fucking planet.”

Renjun drops the kale and turns in his arms. “How do you always know what I need to hear?”

Jeno laughs and swoops in for a kiss, which Renjun gives easily.

“Maybe because I love you?”

“And you… you really don't think any less of me? Because I need—“

“No. You’re perfect just like this.” Renjun frowns and Jeno leans down to kiss it away. Pecking him on the mouth over and over until Renjun is giggling and the old lady who runs their stall is clearing her throat pointedly. 

‘She’s jealous.’ He mouths and Renjun laughs again, pulling them along. 

They’d dropped it after that but a few weeks later they’re getting ready for bed and Renjun tells him he talked to Jisung and he’s interested. 

“I told you so!” He says. “Are you guys going to do it then?”

He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Yeah. We talked and he already knew, which cut down on the explaining portion quite a bit. He said he doesn’t think it will be awkward. At least not on his part. He was worried about you though.”

“Me? Why?”

“Because I told you so! He’s intimidated by the muscles and the face and doesn’t want you mad he fucked your boyfriend.”

“Did you tell him I’m just a puppy?” He asks, laughing until Renjun comes over and grips his jaw, staring right into Jeno’s eyes, gaze dark as he climbs into his lap. Suddenly he’s not laughing anymore.

“Oh yeah… I told him you’re a very, very good boy.”

Jeno is too distracted to ask in the moment, but later he finds out they’re going to have sex in the apartment to avoid Chenle’s nosey-ness and guarantee clean sheets. They do it on a Friday night and Jeno goes to the movies to kill time. 

Jisung is gone by the time he gets home, but there are signs of his presence all around: A glass of milk (choco almond) on the counter, their bed stripped bare, a sock that’s too big on the ground near the couch. Not to mention the whole place smells like sex. 

Generally the first thing Renjun does post hook up is shower, but when Jeno finds him he’s in the hall, trying to reach their spare sheets, and still naked. When Jeno comes up behind him and grabs them he startles.  “Oh my god you scared me!”

He takes the sheets and gets on tiptoe to kiss Jeno’s cheek. 

“I can see that. Was the dick so good you forgot all about me?” He means it as a joke but Renjun looks stricken. 

“Of course not! Why would you say that?”

Jeno laughs. “Well I was kidding, but now I’m actually concerned. Is everything okay?”

Renjun bites his lip, expression wild as his eyes travel over Jeno’s face. For a moment it seems like he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t instead he throws himself at Jeno, initiating a passionate kiss and wrapping his legs around Jeno’s waist. Jeno doesn’t know what happening but he can feel Renjun needs this, whatever else is happening can wait. 

“I want you.” He murmurs between kisses and he wiggles his wrist between them to undo Jeno’s jeans. “Please.”

Following Renjun’s lead Jeno keeps him  steady with one arm and then pushes his pants down with the other until they fall around his ankles. Then he skins his fingertips over Renjun’s still slick hole, making sure he’s open enough, before guiding his cock inside. 

They fuck like that, fast and rough agains the linen closet door. Renjun keeps kissing him but when he’s not kissing he’s whispering.  “I love you. I love you Jeno.” “Only you, just you.” “Tell me you love me. Please, Jeno.”

And Jeno does. Of course he does.

“I love you Renjun. You’re perfect. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” Renjun’s eyes widen, filling with tears. Unsure of whether or not that’s good or not, Jeno says it again. “I love you.”

He comes not long after that, then jerks Renjun off while he’s still inside, whispering in his ear, over and over: I love you, I love you. After, when they’ve come down Renjun cries in earnest and Jeno holds him through it until he can stand. 

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong now?”

“I love you.” Renjun whispers. 

Jeno holds back a laugh. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No. It’s the best thing in my life. You’re the best thing in my life.” He kisses Jeno again with that same fervent desire, like he’s afraid Jeno is going to disappear. 

“Then what’s wrong? C’mon you’re scaring me Junnie.”

Renjun takes a deep shuddering breath, tears falling but slowing considerably. “You’re the best thing in my life. I don’t want to lose you and I don’t want you to misunderstand.”

“Then explain. If you talk, I promise to listen.”

He nods, puffing his cheeks out in a big burst of air. 

“I want to sleep with Jisung again.”

This is, of course, the other biggest reason Jisung isn’t like the other hookups, why he’s different. Renjun has never slept with the same person multiple times. It was always one and done. Now again, this wasn’t a rule they’d come up with, it was just always how things worked out. 

Jeno did a brief internal survey to see if he was having any knee-jerk, adverse reactions to the idea but quickly found he wasn’t. It was a little concerning to see Renjun so upset, worked up about how he might react, so scared about losing him. He thought of all the times Renjun had, subtly as possible, checked with Jeno to make sure their arrangement was still okay. That he didn’t think Renjun was greedy or slutty. That Jeno wasn’t going to suddenly change his mind and leave. 

Clearly in Renjun’s mind this could be the straw that breaks Jeno’s back, but to Jeno it just… wasn’t like that. 

It took several weeks to convince Renjun he meant what he said. Week one was spent recovering from that rough first night. He was puffy all over from the crying and the sex, he could barely walk, and was generally emotionally drained. Week two they finally started talking about it again and Jeno did his best to explain why he didn’t mind. Convincing him anyway he could that he genuinely loved Renjun, and this wouldn’t change that. Week three was the week Renjun seemed to finally start believing it. 

Week four he slept with Jisung again. Jeno was so nervous he didn’t even go anywhere. He just sat in his car in their parking garage, waiting until he saw a head of russet hair out of the corner of his eye walking to Jisung’s car, and he went straight up. 

Renjun was in the shower when he came in, humming to himself and when Jeno knocks on the curtain and says ‘honey I’m home!’ Renjun flings the curtain open and pulls him in fully clothed. They don’t have sex but they kiss under the spray for a long time, Renjun peeling Jeno’s clothes off until he’s naked too and then they wash each other’s hair. 

“Thank you.” Renjun whispers later, in the pitch black dark of their room, his arm tightening around Jeno’s waist. 

“For what?” He asks. 

“For loving me just like I am.”

So yeah Jeno hasn’t ever really had a problem with Renjun and Jisung sleeping together, and honestly once they start doing it more regularly, every other week at least, Jeno is actually pretty happy overall. 

It’s nice that when Renjun gets his usual urge he can call Jisung and take care of it, no strangers or dirty club bathrooms required. Unless of course they go out to a club expressly to fuck in a dirty club bathroom… but you get the idea. 

Chenle and Mark asked him once, on a night out when Renjun had found someone, long before Jisung came into the picture, if it affected their sex life. 

“What mine and Renjun’s?”

“Who else?”, asked Mark. 

“If he’s getting it whenever he wants from some rando, you would think that you guys would have like, way less sex.”

It was an easy assumption to make, but it didn’t affect their sex life, at least not negatively. Jeno always felt like they had plenty of sex as it was, and Renjun’s extracurriculars if anything only prompted them to have more sex. The week of Halloween that same year he and Renjun had sex everyday, sometimes twice a day, and Renjun slept with two different guys in the lead up. 

It’s the same with Jisung, though he doesn’t think any of their friends are aware of the new part of their arrangement, which can only mean Jisung hasn’t even told his roommate where he’s going when he comes to the apartment. 

So yeah, Jeno and Jisung aren’t exactly friends but they were something to each other. They had a mutual understanding and appreciation for each other, both of them caring for the same man in different, equally important ways. 

Overhearing them together is an accident and it happens all because of a very bad, completely rotten day for Jeno. 

Renjun left early for work so that morning, so there’s no one to stop him from hitting snooze and oversleeping, making him just on time enough that he could still make it without calling the school for a sub, but late enough that he doesn’t have time for his usual coffee and danish. In a blind panic to get himself there he picks out his least favorite pair of pants to wear, hugging him tight and hanging loose in all the wrong places. 

His students are all in a bad mood because of course on a day like today it’s raining buckets and there’s no recess outside. The staff appreciation lunch is cancelled because their principal got the dates confused and by the time someone tells him he doesn’t have time to order anything or go anywhere so he just steals a frozen meal that he knows has been in the freezer longer than he’s been teaching there, resolving to replace it regardless, even when it’s one of the top three worst meals he’s ever eaten, and even though he has to eat it bite by bite from the high cupboard where he has to keep the scissors when no one is looking. 

3pm rolls around and he has car rider duty, watching diligently as each child who’s called comes out the door and gets in the assigned car. When he finally makes it to his own there’s what he’s sure is a fresh dent on the bumper. Determined to turn this day around he drives to their favorite Thai place, narrowly avoiding hitting a baby squirrel with his car, and once he's ordering a bunch of favorites (because his phone is dead so he can’t text Renjun to ask what he wants) he goes to pay only to find he doesn’t have his wallet. Thankfully the guy who’s working recognizes Jeno and tells him to come back tomorrow with the money.

It’s the one good thing that’s happened all day and Jeno is grateful, but not as grateful as he is that it’s finally over as he unlocks their door and kicks off his shoes in the entry way. 

Aware of his luck he carefully sets the bags from the restaurant on the counter before dropping the rest of his shit and leaning over to rest his cheek against the cool marble of their kitchen island, thinking finally: Peace.

That, of course, is when he hears it. 

“Oh my god, Jisung.”

He doesn’t move but he opens his eyes, suddenly alert, adrenaline flooding his body. He listens close for Renjun to speak again but he doesn’t, at least not so loud that Jeno can hear it from in here. He takes a deep breath and pushes off the counter, sneaking like a bad secret agent to the doorway and staring across the living room to their bedroom door then he waits.

Without the wall in the way he can hear a little bit of sound drifting through the empty space. Their mattress is fancy memory foam but he knows that given the right… stimulation… the headboard with thunk against the wall. The exact thunk he can hear right now through the cracked door. It accompanied by the sound of grunting, in perfect time with the slamming of the wood against the wall.

He sneaks forward again, just a little closer, and the aggressive guttural noise is suddenly accompanied by Renjun’s much more melodic, familiar moans. There’s no break in the sounds of his pleasure, so whatever Jisung is doing must be really working for him. 

“Jisung, fuck!” Renjun nearly shrieks, breathless and pitched higher than normal. “Ohmygod.”

His words slur together, making him sound almost drunk and Jeno desperately wants to look. To see what it is that has Renjun falling apart like this. 

“Love when you get like this…” He says, and even though his voice sounds a bit more normal, its so clear he feels so good that Jeno has to physically hold onto the nearest piece of furniture to stop himself from going to find out what that means. 

Love when you get like this…. What exactly is he like?

“I love it when you let me.” Jisung says, and it’s the first time he’s said anything at all.

Normally Jisung’s voice is deep, sure, but in the throes of passion doing what Jeno can only imagine is nasty, sexy, unspeakable things to Renjun’s body, it’s somehow deeper, edged with something rough and sensual that has a flush blooming on Jeno’s neck. 

“I’m gonna come.” Renjun says, and he sounds so gone. 

“Wait.”

Jisung isn’t asking, it’s clear right away. He’s telling Renjun: wait. Don’t come yet. Renjun doesn’t seem to appreciate this the way Jeno can as an outside observer. 

“Please baby. I need it.”

“Just wait hyung. Just a little longer. Wait for me.”

Renjun whines as suddenly the slap of flesh on flesh becomes audible. “But you’re doing so well baby. You’re gonna come too, aren’t you? Please, baby…”

The rest of his sentence is cut off by a guttural moan swiftly accompanied by Renjun’s own obvious climax, the pair of them coming together as the slapping noise stops. It’s quiet for a minute while they recover.

“Not fair.” Jisung finally says, but he’s laughing, and it doesn’t take long for Renjun to join him. “I know, I know.”

Jeno hears them kiss, once, slow and wet. If they’re still talking it’s too quiet to hear but even if it wasn’t he’s too consumed by that final, cherry on top: the kiss. It’s odd because for all the hook-ups Renjun’s had he’s never witnessed anything besides the initial tête-à-tête. The interlude before the main event. But that made sense because generally parties or clubs or big public scenes were the catalysts for those other trysts, and with Jisung he generally cleared out before he had the chance. Suddenly it feels odd that he’s never seen Jisung kiss Renjun or vice versa, that he’s never seen either of them kiss anyone else at all. 

He tries picturing it: their lips on each other and he can’t. 

“… every time, you know?”

“I know but if I take too long Chenle asks too many questions.”

“You still haven’t told him?”

“I will, but it’s just not time yet.”

Renjun hums. “Well I eagerly await the day we find out when the right time is.”

Their voices snap him out of his revelry and he realizes that this is ‘the hook up is over small talk’ or at least whatever passes for it in their situation, and he has the urge to flee. But this is his house—why should he run and hide?

He compromises, backing away from his voyeuristic perch and instead settling as casually as he can on the arm of the couch, pretending to read something on his phone. When the door opens he looks up. 

Jisung is fully clothed except for his shoes which are by the door, but Renjun is just wearing an oversized t-shirt—one of Jeno’s actually. They pause when they see him sitting there and Renjun crosses his arms, like he’s cold. 

“Jeno?”

He tosses his phone behind him onto the cushions. “Hey guys, what’s up?”

What else should he say: congrats on the sex?

“Baby, did you not see my text?”

“My phone died and I had a rough day and wanted to come home.”

“How long have you uh, been here?” Jisung asks, looking a bit clammy. 

Jeno feels bad for toying with him, and he’s not sure where he even gets the bravado, but he feels compelled. “Long enough.” He says, then winks.

As expected Jisung pales and looks maybe thirty seconds from passing away, just like Jeno when he’d heard them. His fight or flight must kick in because he looks around the room rapidly before heading straight for the door. 

“I better go.”

Jeno stands up as Renjun walks over to him shaking his head. Jeno wraps his arms around him, his back plastered to Jeno’s front and they watch as Jisung slips on his shoes. Once again overcome with a strange compulsion to do something, Jeno calls out: “Wait.”

When Jisung is done with his shoes he stands up. 

“Huh?”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Renjun is stepping on his socked foot with intention, as if to tell him to stop, but he’s so small it’s hardly effective. If anything this feels like progress: once upon a time Renjun would have been too scared of Jeno seeing him with Renjun to be mad. 

“What do you—“

“Goodbye kiss.”

Jisung’s mouth falls open. “I—I don’t—“

“It’s polite.” Jeno says, talking out of his ass. 

He half expects Jisung to run, but he doesn’t. Instead he gets a steely kind of glint in his eye and he gets up from tying his laces and walks over with determination. In Jeno’s hold Renjun squirms as Jisung approaches. 

Eyes locked with Jeno Jisung cups Renjun’s face with his huge hands, tilting it up, then turns his gaze on Renjun as he leans down to kiss him. Renjun’s head is resting on Jeno’s chest but everything is perfectly angled so he can see the gentle way their lips touch and the way Jisung runs his tongue along Renjun’s lips to deepen the kiss. He’s so mesmerized he doesn’t see right away that Jisung has opened his eyes and is watching Jeno watch him, but when he does he can’t fight the way his heart skips a beat, his breath catching in his throat. 

It doesn’t last long but when they break apart they say their goodbyes again and Jisung turns back to the door, only stopping one last time to say ‘Night Jeno hyung’ before he slips out into the hall. 

Later when Renjun gives him the fifth degree about it he will play innocent, like he was just hoping to show Jisung isn’t not awkward, their situation. Maybe encourage him to finally tell their friends and Renjun will accept this with a sweet little pout and a kiss and say that that was actually kind of thoughtful of him. 

But once he disappears to go wash the sweat and lube and scent of Jisung off will Jeno acknowledge, just to himself, in his own head, that he’d needed to see them kiss. Even if it was just once. 

That moment of weakness, which is how he’s come to think of it, is probably the reason for everything that happens after, most immediately Renjun’s innocent suggestion that the two of them hang out. 

“Jisung might text you later, by the way.”

Jeno pauses his game and looks over where Renjun is applying lotion on a stool at the breakfast bar. 

“What? Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“I meant like why what does he have to text me about?”

He wracks his brain and can’t think of a singular time Jisung has ever texted him before. But he doesn’t say that, instead making a face.

Renjun frowns. “It could be literally anything. How am I supposed to know?”

“It could be anything, but…”

“Okay, fine. Ruin the surprise why don’t you!” Happily, he thinks. “He wants to try that new indoor gaming place for adults but Chenle can’t go, something about the helmets not fitting, and apparently that rules out Mark.”

“Okay….”

Renjun shrugs suddenly very focused on his own legs. “Well, no one else wanted to go with him, so I told him you love that kind of thing.”

No matter what else he may have thought Renjun was about to say, that scenario wouldn’t have even have made the top 30. 

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah! You do like stuff like that don’t you? I seem to remember your twenty fifth birthday involving one of those foam parks for adults and a trip to the emergency room?”

Jeno does like gaming and he likes being active and it’s just the kind of place that he would enjoy he’s sure, but the idea of going with Jisung is twisting him in knots. Unsure of how to refuse without saying that incredibly damning little tidbit, he tries to buy himself time. 

“I guess you’re right.” He says, not a refusal or an agreement outright. 

“Would it really be so bad to go do something fun together?”

He chances a glance at Renjun and meets his wide brown eyes, filled with what is obviously desperation. Jeno doesn’t know why, but it’s obvious this is important to him. 

Scallywag’s Adult Playground opened at eleven and it’s almost one now, which is when he and Jisung agreed to meet, but it’s busier than he’d been expecting so he decided to wait outside in the spring chill, jacket pulled tight around him. 

Jisung sneaks up on him, tapping on the shoulder and scaring him. 

“Shit, sorry hyung.” 

Jeno waves him off. “You’re fine, just wasn’t paying any attention.”

The truth of course is he’s on edge. Renjun wanted Jisung and Jeno to hang out—went out of his way to orchestrate this day—and it was easy to agree in the moment, focused on making Renjun happy; it was even easy to reply ‘Sounds good to me!’ With a little smiley face of excitement when Jisung did text him the invite, but he woke up this morning with a pit in his stomach knowing he’s seeing Jisung for the first time since the incident.

It was ridiculous, because what kind of loser is chill with his boyfriend fucking another man but freaks out when he just happens to hear them at it once? Jeno couldn’t explain the way he felt about it but haunted might be the closest approximation. He couldn’t think about Jisung without hearing him… ‘Just a little longer. Wait for me.’; without seeing his eyes staring straight into Jeno’s soul as he’d kissed Renjun. 

His main plan to combat this new, unnamed and unfortunate feeling was to straight up ignore it until it went away. A plan that had been going well right up until this moment with Jisung standing in front of him, ushering him inside a pirate themed adult gaming center. 

They offer an arcade, mini golf, indoor skydiving, and a trampoline area but the bored looking pimple covered tween working the entrance says that everyone’s favorite is laser tag. “It’s fifty bucks for thirty minutes and you get a free slice of cheese pizza in the galley if you die less than ten times.”

Jisung makes a face like he’s never heard a better deal and tells them they’ll take two tickets for laser tag, pulling his wallet out from his back pocket. 

“I can pay for mine.” Jeno says with a frown but Jisung ignores him, handing over his card without hesitation and signing the receipt they hand him. She directs them across the room to the laser tag area

“Didn’t you hear me?” He asks, once they’re out of earshot. “I could have paid for my own.”

“I heard you, but I’ve got one of those cards where I get mileage points and I’m trying to save up to go see my brother. So, really you did me a favor.”

When Jeno still looks pissed he rolls his eyes. “Okay if it bothers you so bad you can buy our lunch.”

“What if we qualify for the free pizza?”

They’re approaching the corner of the huge space dedicated to laser tag now and there’s a group of teenagers coming out of the exit in their vests, clearly having just played, rowdy and shouting. He and Jisung watch as their stats come up on the screen, several of them with near perfect scores compared to the losing team trailing out after. 

The attendant at the desk asks them if they want to play again and one of the girls cocks her laser gun. “Hell yeah!”

Jisung glances over and whispers. “I don’t think it’s going to be a problem.”

Once they change and line up in groups, the rowdy red team against Jisung, Jeno, and a few other single and double players as the blue team, the attendant explains the rules over the static-y intercom with practiced dispassion before saying: “Argh you ready?” And starting the game. 

It takes a moment to get their bearings in the midst of the fake…beach? Jungle? Murals, foam rocks, and woodcut palm trees coming together with the backing track of monkey noises and house music to create a genuinely disturbing environment. The last time he played laser tag he was sure the theme was just black light, everything glowing neon in the dark, but here there's a dark room with a strobing disco ball, fog machine combo and a few floor level strip lights to prevent falls.

Jeno stays close to Jisung at first, as they make their way into the playing field tentatively. From their position they can’t see the red team but they can hear them, whooping battle cries and clicking their triggers at nothing, but they quickly get separated from the rest of their team and then each other. 

He’s played plenty of first person shooters and even once took a shooting lesson with Chenle, so crunching around and making a couple lucky shots isn’t too difficult, but that’s about as far as his skill, or anyone else’s on his team gets them. The red team are ruthless, running around, shouting what he’s pretty sure are practiced formation names randomly, to quickly, but surely take the blue team out. 

It takes maybe nine of their allotted thirty minutes before the first two are eliminated; by the twelve minute mark their down half their players; then suddenly it’s 24 minutes on the clock and somehow he and Jisung are the only two left standing, a team of two. 

Except he can’t find Jisung anywhere. He’s done a pretty good job avoiding the red team, his vest down to one bar, one final life before he’ll be out too, and he wonders what kind of shape Jisung is in. Then finally out of the corner of his eye he sees a flash of blue light: Jisung!

Not wanting to risk the time it would take to move with stealth he goes for speed, bounding to the corner where he saw the light as fast as he can. When he makes it however he finds its a swirling blue light, over another foam rock to try and create the illusion of a water feature. Before he has time to lament he hears a maniacal laugh and turns to see that one of the red team players has scaled the nearest ‘palm tree’ and is taking aim to shoot him. He looks around for shelter but doesn’t see anything, except the flash of swirling blue light blinding him temporarily. 

Shit, he thinks. Sure that he’s about to die and leave Jisung to fend for himself when he feels strong grip take hold of him from behind and pull him to safety. 

He stumbles a bit into one of the maze walls, but before he can fall the hand that jerked him back is now using firm pressure to steady him, gripping his waist. Obviously it’s Jisung, but Jeno still can’t see so it’s not until he hears  “That was close.” that he’s one hundred percent sure. 

 Using the deep timbre of Jisung’s voice like echolocation he tilts his head and blinks rapidly, trying to will the spots from his eyes. 

“I thought I was a goner.” He jokes, but it sounds way more cringey out loud than it had in his head and he fights a grimace, hoping Jisung doesn’t comment on it himself. Thankfully he doesn’t. 

“Lucky I was here, I guess.” 

The spots finally fade and Jeno can see properly again, met with a soft smile from Jisung, whose eyes are trained on Jeno’s face. In his chest Jeno’s heart does a complicated little flip. 

“I guess so.” He echoes, unable to form a more compelling thought. 

Looking around he can see they’re tucked into a corner, an awkwardly shaped space with no other outlet behind one of the maze walls and between the outer wall of the room. It’s a good hiding spot but the close quarters make it hard for him to think clearly and his arms are twisted behind his back at an angle. 

His discomfort must be obvious on his face because Jisung frowns. “Here, hyung.”

He angles his body then maneuvers Jeno’s arm so they’re no long twisted instead winding them to rest around his neck, his skin hot and damp with sweat against Jeno’s arms. 

“Is that better?”

He nods, no longer afraid that one false move might have him in a cast. Jisung grabbed him to pull him out of the line of fire, but let go when he helped arrange them more securely. Now his hands are braced against the wall, his arms caging Jeno in and a part of Jeno wishes he was still being held.  

In that moment whatever gods or goddesses are listening must be watching Jeno especially closely because Jisung’s eyes widen. “I think I hear them!” He says, then he grabs hold of Jeno’s waist again, and pushes them further into their hiding spot. 

Sure enough they move just in time to hear their opponents lumbering around, back and forth, looking for them. But all Jeno can think about is this new, impossibly intimate position, pressed together from chest to knee.

Out of self preservation he’s been keeping his eyes leveled at Jisung’s chest but when Jisung’s thumbs start working absent minded circles into his hips he chances a look up, tilting his head back so they’re face to face. 

Jisung’s gaze is laser focused on Jeno, and the full impact of his gaze—of being observed by Jisung— has him weak in the knees. He shivers when he feels the heat of Jisung’s breath across his cheeks and nose, fights the urge to breathe him in. 

Unbidden his hands shift so that he can trail his fingers through the short hair at the nape of Jisung’s neck, making him exhale sharply and press his forehead against Jeno’s, bring their faces even closer together. He wraps his arms completely around Jeno’s waist, holding him for real now. 

His mind is blank except for Jisung, Jisung, Jisung. He’s lost in the moment completely, lost in Jisung completely. They’re so close now, and all Jeno can think is that he would barely have to move an inch to press their lips together, and he thinks Jisung must feel it too, whatever this is because suddenly his eyes are slipping closed.

“Hyung.” he whispers, emphatic, reverent, and it echoes in his mind, reminding him. 

Just wait hyung. Just a little longer. 

The memory snaps Jeno to attention. What is he even doing? What was he thinking? He wasn’t, clearly. With his new found mental fortitude he stills, moving what little physical distance away he can. 

“I have to go.”

Jisung’s eyes open and he says it again, in a completely different tone. “Hyung?” Questioning, concerned, but Jeno can’t worry about that he has to get out of here. 

“I have to go.” He says again, more to himself than to Jisung, and he slips away. 

No longer worried about the game or the other team, he steps out from their hiding spot and he hears the shot without seeing who made it, but he doesn’t stop. Not when he hears Jisung’s voice calling out or when the other team start complaining that the game isn’t over yet. He just keeps walking until he reaches the first exit he can find, slipping away as quickly as he can. 

Being back in the bright light of the main hall is temporarily disorienting but he doesn’t stop, wandering haphazardly back to the locker room and into the first stall he can find, sitting on the closed toilet lid and trying to calm down—an effort that quickly goes sideways when he hears Jisung enter the locker room too. 

“Hyung? Where are you?” Jeno hears him walk toward the lockers then backtrack. He must see the closed door and put two and two together because he stops outside and knocks. “Hyung are you in there? What’s going on?”

Jeno doesn’t answer. 

“Come on seriously. Jeno hyung you’re freaking me out.”

Once again Jeno doesn’t answer and he hears Jisung sigh, resignedly. “Do you want me to call Renjun hyung or…”

“No!” 

It comes out without thinking. The last thing he wants is for Renjun to know about whatever this was. Really there’s nothing to know, so involving him would be stupid. Everything is fine. 

So he stands up and opens the door, breezing past Jisung to the sinks without looking at him and turning on the tap. 

“Hyung are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asks, washing his hands briskly. It’s not like he actually used the bathroom or anything.  

Jisung doesn’t seem to have a good response for this. “Well— because of before— in the maze, what happened…”

It’s comforting that he can’t put words to it either, that he’s unsure of whatever forces had moved Jeno or himself. 

“And what happened, exactly?” He asks, walking past him again toward the lockers, undoing the vest as he goes. 

“I don’t know hyung, you tell me.” He glances back Jisung, who’s waiting expectantly for an answer Jeno can’t give him. He looks away.

“Nothing.”

Jisung scoffs and Jeno whirls around, meaning to tell him off or make up an excuse, but the second he looks at Jisung everything he’d thought he might say. Everything he should say—it all disappears from his mind. 

Instead of standing his ground, instead of insisting that it had been nothing, he rushes the few feet separating them, pushing Jisung back against the lockers, kissing him. 

His hands twist in the fabric of Jisung’s collar as he crowds into his space. He’s pleased when Jisung kisses back, not  missing a beat as he takes Jeno’s face in his hands. 

After a few seconds his hands move from Jeno’s jaw, down his throat until they reach his chest. He breaks the kiss, and they’re both breathing heavy and then he’s taking hold of Jeno’s shirt too, using the leverage to flip their positions, spinning them and slamming Jeno’s back against the lockers looking down at him before he leans back in, licking into Jeno’s mouth. 

It lasts maybe a minute, maybe even less, before Jeno comes to his senses again and pushes Jisung away one final time, backing away, blindly reaching for his wallet and his jacket.

“I have to go.” He says simply, then flees once more, trying to ignore Jisung’s watchful gaze on him.

If Jisung tells Renjun about what happened in the twenty minutes it takes him to get home, Renjun doesn’t mention it to Jeno. 

He parks in their garage, and after a stern talking to in his car’s review mirror, he goes upstairs to face the music, steeling himself… for nothing. Renjun is simply reading, tucked into the corner of the couch. His work materials spread out on the coffee table indicating maybe he’s just taking a break. When Jeno approaches him he turns his cheek up for a kiss without looking, too engrossed in his book. 

“Hey baby.”

“Hey.” He says, listening for any sign that maybe Renjun knows. “What are you up to?”

Renjun groans. “Avoiding work. Let me finish this chapter and then I’ll be ready to hear all about your date.”

The word turns Jeno’s stomach. “There isn’t much to tell.”

He hums but still doesn’t look up at Jeno, turning the page in his book. Suddenly Jeno has the urge to get closer; to make him look. He shrugs his jacket off and climbs onto the couch, invading Renjun’s space and snuggling up against him. 

Renjun moves so he can wrap an arm around Jeno but keep reading his book, petting the back of Jeno’s head as he snuffles into his neck, mouthing at the skin there. Jeno laps over his neck before moving lower, over his t-shirt until he finds his nipple and bites at it before returning to his neck. 

He’s still reading, but he moans when Jeno starts to suck a hickey on his collarbone, tilting his neck to give him better access. As Jeno works at it his pets get harder and harder until he yanks Jeno away by his scruff, dropping the paper back and pulling Jeno in for a kiss. 

It’s relieving, to be touching Renjun, to have Renjun touch him. In a way it feels like he’s washing away the remnants of Jisung’s touch. 

“So pent up, my poor puppy.” Renjun murmurs, and Jeno whines when Renjun shifts up, shoving the leg Jeno had straddled in an effort to get closer up against his quickly growing erection as they make out fast and rough. It’s clear what he wants Jeno to do, so he starts humping Renjun’s thigh in earnest. “That’s it baby. Good boy.”

Jeno already know’s he’ll come fast like this, he always does, but things are made infinitely worse when Renjun speaks again. 

“Did playing with Jisung get you that riled up pup?”

He tries not to react in an incriminating way but fails miserably when he snaps his legs to together around Renjun’s slim thigh. 

“That’s a yes.” He laughs. “I guess we’ll have to schedule things like this more often if I get you like this after.”

He keeps working his hips, licking into Renjun’s mouth and whimpering. He’s so incredibly close, the pressure, the pet name, the condescending tone all pushing him closer and closer. There’s a moment where he feels bad, thinking Renjun is teasing him about what was, as far as he knows, an innocent hang out… he feels bad that Renjun is right for all the wrong reasons… feels bad that he’s going to come getting off on it all. But then: “Is this what you were thinking about when you kissed him puppy?”

Jeno comes with a gasp, so shocked that he stops moving, heart beating a mile a minute; but Renjun doesn’t let him off that easily, using his small strong hands to push and pull Jeno’s hips so he rides his thigh through it. 

“Look at you, coming in your panties just thinking about one little kiss. Should I be jealous?”

Jeno gasps, hiccups, and is shocked when he feels tears start to fall, widening his eyes as he stares back at Renjun. He doesn’t seem mad at Jeno. Even though he’s teasing his smile is playful and his eyes are filled with lust. Jeno wants to answer him. 

There’s nothing to jealous about! But his orgasm turned his brain to mush and all he can do is shake his head, leaning in to kiss Renjun through his tears. 

Renjun must be able to tell that he needs a minute because he kisses Jeno for a long time, then lets him rest his head on his chest, shifting so they’re sprawled out more comfortably on the wide cushions. Once he’s able to calm down Jeno will whisper: “No.”

“No what?”

“You shouldn’t be jealous.” He says. “It wasn’t like that.”

What it was like though remains a mystery, both to Renjun and Jeno too, as he doesn’t allow himself to examine it further. He knows Renjun would probably like to talk to him about it, or at least listen while Jeno talk about it, because he’s been dropping some not so subtle hints to that effect, but Jeno has zero interest in exploring his feelings. Not about Jisung and Renjun or him and Jisung, not about what happened that day—none of it! 

In the immediate days after he doesn’t have to do anything; they’re so busy with chores, errands, then jumping back into the work week that there’s no time. After than avoidance is his best friend. 

If Renjun mentions, in a round about way, Jisung or a group hang or ‘catching up’ and Jeno will simply ignore it or make up an excuse, and it works like a charm, just like it had in the days following overhearing them having sex! 

When he starts to think of it himself, unprompted, he turns simply stops and turns on a movie or starts a game, scrolls on TikTok. Again, tried and true methods that work well, at least for a while. But the problem with avoiding something is that it can work a little too well. 

You get far enough away from whatever it is—an idea, a memory, a problem—that you think you’re safe. You stop thinking about it and any parties privy to it stop asking… or so you assume. This is what happens to Jeno. One day he simply stops thinking about the whole debacle at Scallywag’s and Renjun finally lets it go and he thinks he’s in the clear. 

It’s a naive mistake for which he will pay the price dearly when three weeks later he walks into the apartment one night after work and hear them, again. 

Unlike last time his day has been normal, good even. No un-comfy pants or starving or rain, and he glances down at his phone: fully charged but yet there’s no text warning him that Renjun will be over, railing Renjun into another dimension, which he can hear now, frozen in the entry. 

“Please hyung, please!”, accompanied by the slap of skin against skin and high pitched moaning. 

So he shoves his feet back into his shoes, back tracking out the door and down the hall to the elevator then his car, shooting Renjun a text that he’s stopping by the store on his way home. Renjun replies right away with an ‘okay baby :)’ which is weird because Jeno is pretty sure he’s bouncing and moaning on it right now but also it’s not his business. 

He takes a long time at the store, buys a bunch of random snacks they don’t really need and some drinks, browsing every aisle to kill time and finally he goes home, wallet and mind lighter.

Thinking he’s avoided another crisis, he unlocks the door and kicks off his shoes with gusto, taking the bags into the kitchen and shoving things haphazardly in the fridge. He cracks open one of the seltzers he’d bought as a little reward for handling things so well, taking a big sip as he steps into the living room calling “Honey I’m…. Home.”

Renjun is on the couch waiting for him, but he isn’t alone. Jisung is there, Renjun perched in his lap, on his dick, completely naked except for a pair of thin white socks. They’re both facing Jeno, Renjun’s legs dangling over Jisung’s on either side, Jisung’s arms holding his securely in place. One around his waist and the other trailing up and down Renjun’s side, skimming over his ribs to his nipple then down again. 

His head is twisted around to kiss Jisung slow and wet, their tongues visible all the way from across the room where Jeno stands, but when he hears Jeno greeting him he stops, dazed, turning forward and moaning as Jisung licks up his neck instead.

“Oh, Jeno…” He says as though Jeno is the one inside him, touching him. Teasing and filling him up. Jisung uses the arm around his waist to bounce him once on his cock and Renjun moans again, lifting up his free arm and holding it out. “Jeno.” 

They both still, holding each other, breathing hard but focused on Jeno, on what he’ll decide to do. Like a man possessed he takes a shaky step. Then another. Renjun watches with hyper focus, lip caught on his teeth, Jisung does the same from over Renjun’s shoulder. 

Jeno takes another step forward, dropping his seltzer and though he isn’t watching he can feel it spray up on impact, all of them flinching slightly at the noise. He steps forward again and again, stepping fully into their living space, and is blocked by the coffee table, so he plants his foot on the edge of it and kicks out sending it sliding across the rug and against some of the other furniture with another loud thud. 

Renjun and Jisung both flinch again but continue to watch him as he looks back, standing frozen, watching them. This close he can see details he couldn’t before, the damp patch beneath them on the couch, the lube discarded on one of the pillows…. Renjun’s small hand wrapped around Jisung’s thumb on his waist. Jeno realizes, in the back of his mind they both look scared, or maybe just concerned, like they’re not sure what to expect.

But he doesn’t want to scare anyone—doesn’t want either of them to misunderstand—so he drops to his knees, slow and deliberate, and crawls the last few feet separating him from them. 

Rather than taking Renjun’s out stretched hand he bumps his head against it, sighing when his fingers slide into Jeno’s hair. He thinks he can hear Renjun whisper his name, but the sound is slightly muffled as he nuzzles his face into Renjun’s bare lap, breathing him in. 

“Oh, Jeno.” Renjun says again, clearer this time, like a prayer. “I knew you could.”

The praise goes straight to his already soft mind and he falls further away from reality. All he knows is Renjun, his smell, the skin of his thighs against Jeno’s lips, the taste of him on Jeno’s tongue. 

Jeno has always enjoyed giving head, but he’s never done it like this before. The weight of Renjun’s cock in his mouth is heady, dizzying, and he takes his time bobbing up and down his length, and every time his nose brushes the delicate, perfectly waxed skin at the base of his cock Renjun arches into it. 

All of that is the usual, what’s not is when Renjun arches his back, rolling his hips trying to get just a bit deeper into Jeno’s mouth, he’s also pushing back onto Jisung’s cock making him moan too deep in his chest. His pleasure grounds Jeno, even if it’s just a little, the rumble vibrating through his own body to Renjun to Jeno. 

“You’re so good. Always so good for me.” He keeps petting over Jeno’s hair, getting rougher the sloppier he gets. “Don’t you think he’s a good puppy?”

He’s asking Jisung, Jeno realizes, and when he looks up, waiting for the answer, he finds Jisung’s wide eyed gaze locked on him. Instead of answering Jisung nods, agreeing, and Jeno feels hot all over. 

Jisung thinks he’s good. Jisung is watching him intently as he takes Renjun. It may be a little narcissistic, but he thinks maybe Jisung couldn’t answer because the sight of Jeno’s mouth full of cock was too much for him, and he preens in his mind. 

Once again the praise clouds his mind and all he wants is to keep going, to be better than good. So he redoubles his efforts, pulling off until just the head is in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before he slides back down the length. Renjun, distracted by Jeno’s renewed effort moans low and loud. 

“I’m gonna come.” He says, breathless and quiet, then does before the words are even all the way out of his mouth. Jeno does his best to swallow it all down and Renjun pets his head through it before guiding him off and up to kiss him softly, wet and slow, like a reward. He sucks Jeno’s tongue into his mouth and then bites the tip gently. 

“Thank you.” He whispers, private just for them. “I love you.”

Jeno lets himself be kissed until they’re distracted by the sound of a desperate whine behind them. Renjun turns his head reaching back at an awkward angle to pet at Jisung’s head too, soothing him. He’s biting his lip and shallowly rocking his hips into Renjun, trying to seek some relief. 

When Renjun turns his face within kissing distance Jisung doesn’t hesitate to plant a lingering kiss on his lips, and Jeno watches in awe as Renjun smiles. “Hyung, please.”

“Wait a minute baby.” 

Jisung’s face looks like the very last thing he wants to do is wait, and when Renjun leans back into him leveraging his legs so he can lift himself off Jisung’s dick he looks that much more distraught. 

“Hyung?” 

Renjun shushes him and turn his attention to Jeno. He doesn’t have to say what he wants, reaching down without breaking eye contact to pull the condom on, leaving Jisung’s thick dick exposed, angry and red between both of their spread legs. 

“Jeno,” he murmurs, and Jeno sits back on his heels again, braces his hands on the ground and leans down to let Renjun guide Jisung’s dick into his mouth. 

“Oh holy fuck.” Jisung exclaims.

Oh holy fuck is right. The angle is weird and he tastes like generic lube and salt but he fills Jeno’s mouth. His dick is… proportional… to the rest of him, just like Renjun and Jeno himself, but going from Renjun’s petite size to this is an adjustment. He takes it slow, egged on by Renjun’s praise and Jisung’s moans. 

“You’re perfect Jen—you always are.” Jeno’s eyes were already brimming, from… well, everything. But hearing that a few of those tears spill over. “He’s been wanting this, you know?”

Jeno wonders how Renjun can know that. 

“It’s okay to want this puppy. It’s okay.”

Jisung must be close because he’s canting his hips up, forcing himself deeper into Jeno’s throat, choking him a little but not so much he needs to stop. Renjun turns his attention back to Jisung, shifting in his hold a little to kiss his neck and then play with his nipples, the whole time whispering in his ear. 

Jeno can’t hear what he’s saying but he watches as Jisung listens, face scrunched up in pleasure until finally Renjun must say something truly outrageous because his mouth and eyes fly open with shock and he comes straight down Jeno’s throat. 

The second he stops pulsing in Jeno’s mouth, signaling he’s finished, Jeno pulls off and, not waiting for permission or direction, undoes his fly. He takes his cock in his hand, pumping it once before he spills over his fist and onto the floor with a moan. 

Sated, he flops his head on the spread thighs to his left and unbidden his eyes slip closed. His breath grows slower and slower as he rest there until, without warning, exhaustion takes him. 

He wakes up alone on top of the covers in their bedroom, tucked under the throw blanket and he’d like to say that there’s a moment where he doesn’t remember, like he’s the protagonist in a cheesy romance novel, but that would be a lie. In fact he knows with perfect clarity what happened before he even opens his eyes. Even if he hadn’t the stale taste of come in his mouth surely would have reminded him. 

After brushing his teeth he wanders out into the living room. He expects to find a mess: the coffee table askew, puddles of blackberry seltzer and come everywhere but it’s all been cleaned, so he wonders how long her was out.  Through the opening of the breakfast bar he spots Renjun and he makes his way over. 

He’s greeted with the smell of garlic and spice. 

“Smells good,” he says. 

“Thanks,” Renjun laughs, holding up a white container where he’s putting the contents into one of their bowls. “It’s take out. I’m just heating it back up. I figured you’d slept long enough.”

They both glance at the clock. It’s almost 9pm. 

“Wow.”

“Wow is right. Did you sleep well at least?”

Jeno looks over his face for teasing or sarcasm but doesn’t find any, he’s genuinely just curious.

“Yeah. At least, I feel fine.” 

He sidles over to Renjun at the island. “Are we… are we going to talk about what happened?”

Renjun doesn’t answer right away, instead moving the bowl to the microwave, and pressing start. He sucks some of the sauce from his finger then turns to Jeno, shrugging. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

Jeno frowns, taking a brief internal survey. The short answer is of fucking course he doesn’t. He can’t even say it out loud, let alone have a full conversation about it. It’s obviously complicated though because he would wager that they need to talk about it regardless of want. But it’s not what Renjun asked. 

“No.” He settles on, and Renjun smiles a melancholy kind of smile. “Then we’ll wait until you do.”

The timer on the microwave goes off then and Renjun opens the door to quiet it before stepping into Jeno’s space and standing on tip toe to kiss him. 

“Now, let’s eat, okay?”

Jeno again checks his face for any sign that this is the wrong move—that he needs to force them to go ahead and talk and get it over with—but he doesn’t find any.

“Okay. Let’s eat.”

It doesn’t take quite as long this time, for Jeno to come around, but for whatever improvement that is he makes up for it by bringing it up in a less than ideal circumstances—halfway through the ride to drop Renjun off at work. 

“I guess we should go ahead and talk about what happened.”

“What happened?“ he raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure? You can’t even say it.”

He’s teasing, sipping his tea haughtily, but Jeno sighs and tries again anyway. 

“I guess we should talk about us having sex with Jisung.”

“Good job! Now can you spell sex?” He laughs maniacally as Jeno chokes on his own spit, spluttering through indignation. “Relax, I’m only joking. You’re acting so serious about it!”

Jeno frowns. 

“Well yeah, because we never discussed me having sex with other people….”

To his credit Renjun does stop laughing at this, replacing his look of gleeful teasing with one of consideration. 

“Do you want to have sex with other people?”

His mouth falls opens and he shakes his head. “What? No, no! But I did. I had sex with Jisung.”

“Does Jisung even really count as other people?”

“Well he isn’t you, so yeah, I think that counts!”

They pull up to a stop light and Jeno uses the opportunity to cross his arms petulantly. 

“Do you want to know what I think?”

He doesn’t look over at Renjun and he wishes he had it in him to not respond at all, but he’s a sucker and also a people pleaser so he compromises with a grunt to be interpreted at will. Renjun, taking it in the affirmative, continues. 

“I think, first of all, that our arrangement has always, always applied to both of us.” At this Jeno does glance over at Renjun, surprised. “Now, I am sorry if that wasn’t clear or I didn’t do a good job of being explicit, but I honestly assumed you knew and just never felt the urge to go for it.”

The light turns green again and when he doesn’t move the person behind them honks, making him jump and jolt the car forward. 

“Second of all we may not have ever agreed to it explicitly but we did it together, didn’t we. We had sex with Jisung, not just you. Again, not that it would have mattered.” His heart drops into his stomach at the implication he would or could have sex with Jisung by himself, but they’re quickly approaching Renjun’s office building so he ignores it. “So I hope you can… I don’t know. Not beat yourself up about it?”

He pulls up alongside the curb and puts it in park. “I wasn’t beating myself up about it, really. I was just worried it would make things awkward? Like I encroached on something and it would be weird between you two or in group settings or….” 

Me and Jisung, he thinks, but doesn’t say it. Renjun gathers up his jacket and his bag on his arm then pauses, looking at Jeno. 

“What did you think about?”

“About it being awkward?”

Renjun laughs. “No, about the sex. Did you like it?”

Oh.

“Uh…” Renjun raises a challenging eyebrow.  “It was hot and… fun. I enjoyed myself, obviously.” 

He blushes thinking about how easy he’d come after, on his knees and spent. 

“But?” Renjun asks. 

“It was a one time thing, right? So it didn’t need to be anything else.”

Jeno shrugs and under Renjun’s watchful gaze he wishes suddenly he could read minds; see whatever wheels were turning in his boyfriend’s head. There’s a tap on the window, one of the girls Renjun works with outside and waving. It breaks a tension Jeno hadn’t even realized he was feeling and he does his best to shake it off, leaning in and giving Renjun a quick peck goodbye before he finally heads inside to work with his colleague. 

He’d driven to work and assumed that they’d laid it to rest. There was a part of him who, no matter what Renjun had said, still felt like things would be awkward between them at least at first, for group hangs and such. But he was also confident that the awkwardness would fade with time and they’d get back to normal—whatever that was. 

Which makes it bittersweet when Renjun announces he’s inviting Jisung over. 

“Oh you mean….”

Renjun looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “No, not like that. For dinner. Or to watch a movie.”

Jeno has no idea if that’s usual for them, hanging out casually, and it almost sounds like a date. 

“Well just let me know when and I’ll clear out.” He says, but Renjun’s single raised eyebrow becomes two. 

“I’m gonna try this again: I’m inviting Jisung over so the three of us,” he says emphatically. “Can have dinner or watch a movie.”

“You want us all three to hang out?”

Renjun laughs. “Baby, I just said that.”

Which obviously he knows. And he also knows it can’t be a completely bad thing to bite the bullet and try and resolve any tension that may be lingering between them. It feels like a lot of once.

“We’ve never done that. Hung out just the three of us.”

“I know, but I was thinking about what you said in the car yesterday and I think it makes sense. So I want to get ahead of it. Maybe if we all know each other better, especially you and Jisung, then it will be easier.”

Jeno knows that Renjun is right, but he doesn’t care, and he wants, desperately, to push back. But any push back will look off—like he’s scared or nervous or like he doesn’t want Jisung around or something—so he agrees. 

“Yeah, you’re right. Invite him over.”

Renjun smiles sweetly, like he’s excited, and Jeno smiles back, completely enamored. He watches as Renjun pulls out his phone and starts typing away.

He hoped, selfishly, that maybe Jisung wouldn’t want to have dinner or a movie, and while it’s true they don’t end up doing either it’s not because Jisung was vehemently against an awkward group… hang. It’s because he had another idea entirely. 

Jeno is surprised when Renjun tells him about the dance class. He’s never taken one before, not formally, unless you count Zumba for a college fitness credit or when he learned to line dance in grade school, but he figures it can’t hurt. He has fun dancing at the club and he knows the Renjun took ballet classes all the way through high school. 

He hadn’t known anything about Jisung being a dancer, and when they get there he says as much. 

“So you dance?”

The class is being held in a studio on the third floor of a local art center downtown, of which there are two. Their class is in the bigger room, the smaller one occupied by a kids tap class, show tunes drifting out into the hall space that separates them and leads to the stairs. The building is old so it also serves as a waiting room, with a few chairs and a dusty ficus for ambience. 

There are people who look like maybe they just got off of work, slipping out of work jackets to reveal workout gear beneath, and a few parents gossiping  with each other as they wait for the tap class to finish. Jisung weirdly looks right at home here, comfortable and confident. A few passersby have even greeted him warmly in the short time since they got here. 

“Yeah, and I teach sometimes…”

“What? You never said they were letting you teach!” Renjun says, popping him in the shoulder happily. “Congrats baby!”

That feels new, hearing him call Jisung that outside of…. But then again maybe he’s heard him use terms of endearment for Chenle too, maybe even Jaemin. Haechan? When he’s being dramatic and Renjun wants to patronize him. Jeno looks between them before deciding it’s probably not a big deal and then nods in agreement. 

“That’s really cool Jisung.”

He blushes, high on his cheeks, waving off their praise. “Well thank you but it’s only in between shifts at VR Palace.”

The call back to their first meeting makes them all laugh, even Jeno, in spite of himself. That’s the first new thing he learns about Jisung after the incident: He’s funny. 

The class isn’t difficult. Okay, maybe it’s a little difficult but only because Jeno isn’t used to moving his body like that. Popping, locking, waving, all the different moves the instructor teaches and uses to build the combinations, they seem easy at a glance, but when he actually has to try them Jeno flounders. 

He enjoys challenging himself though, and he throws himself into it, focusing so hard at points that the others tease him but he doesn’t mind. There are a few moments when Jisung has to help him, breaking down the step slowly and once he even comes up and grabs Jeno’s hips with his hands to show him how it’s done. 

When that happens he catches Renjun watching, but he looks away the second Jeno makes eye contact. 

They run through the whole dance one more time at the end and before the music starts Renjun gets up on tip-toe to peck his cheek. “Have fun!” He whispers. 

Jeno does have fun, more fun than he was expecting to have. When they land the final move he has a sudden urge, acting on it without thought, pulling both Renjun and Jisung in by the sleeves to throw his arms around their shoulders. 

It’s sweaty, and their heights make it a little awkward, but it’s nice all the same. Renjun giggles before slipping out of his grasp and walking over to grab his water bottle, and Jeno expects Jisung to do the same, but instead he wraps his own arm around Jeno’s waist and gives it a squeeze. 

He lets go a moment later but the warmth of his touch lingers. 

Apparently if you have one successful hangout, the next obvious course is to have another hangout—hopefully also successful. He, Renjun, and Jisung manage this no more than a week later, finally having dinner and a movie like Renjun initially suggested. 

He doesn’t put up any fight this time even though it’s kind of a tight turn around, because while he is still worried about the ever looming potential for awkwardness, taking the class together actually seemed helpful. That singular success was enough to make Jeno confident that they could have more success meeting on familiar turf and that with enough hang outs the awkwardness would completely dissipate. 

Jeno is no chef, but between him and Renjun he’s the one who puts together their Hello Fresh, so he’s in charge of the meal. Bulking up their creamy shrimp tafia— no wait, it’s a g! Tagiatelley… Taglia… pasta. Bulking up their creamy shrimp pasta meal kit with a side of broccoli and some premade garlic bread.

They always have wine because Renjun picks up a bottle every time he goes to the store, like a dragon that collects chardonnay instead of gold. He uncorks a bottle for he and Jeno and they buy a six pack of the beer Jisung always drinks when they go out, and when he gets there and Renjun offers it to him he blushes and thanks them. 

He tries not to think about it too much, but the set up is a little like a date. Renjun is generally detail oriented and likes to romanticize things, so when he pulled out one of their tablecloths, nice white linen embroidered with blue and yellow birds, laid out the matching serving bowl and plates, he didn’t think anything of it. But actually sitting down to eat, seeing them in the glow of candle light…

But it isn’t a date. It’s a group hang. A friendly meeting. Etcetera. 

Jisung is funny again, teasing both of them in only the way the baby of the group can; about age and their habits and the way one glass of wine gets turns them both red and tipsy. Renjun fights back, giving as good as he gets, but Jeno just laughs, fine to take the hit as long as they can all enjoy themselves. 

After dinner Jisung insists on helping cleaning up with Renjun, and they direct Jeno to make himself comfortable while they work, so he does, watching through the open space above the breakfast bar as they rinse and load dishes, moving around each other in sync. He knows that they know each other in the most intimate way, but the sweet domestic moment is intimate in its own way. 

He remains wholly engrossed in the thought until they appear in front of him with a fresh glass of wine and ready to watch the movie. He’d unthinkingly throwing himself down right in the middle of the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table, and now, as Jisung climbs over his legs to settle on his right while Renjun snatches the remote and folds himself up on Jeno’s left, he realizes he will be sandwiched between them for the rest of the evening. 

It’s alright at first, easy to ignore as they argue about what to watch. Renjun makes an argument for a French film noir about a woman who moves to the country and starts fucking her neighbor’s son or something, and in a surprise turn of events Jisung and Jeno find themselves on the same side when Jisung counters with a “—stupid superhero movie!”

The whining inflection Renjun uses to say it doesn’t soften the blow, Jisung’s eyes widening incredulously. 

“Stupid superhero movie?!” 

“Don’t take offense,” Jeno soothes him, patting him briefly on the knee. “DC fan. Still bitter about Affleck. The whole reboot actually.”

Jisung’s mouth falls open. 

“Woooow! The truth comes out.”

Renjun rolls his eyes, “Whatever.” 

Jeno and Jisung dissolve into giggles and Renjun stays pouty until the movie starts and he melts down into his seat, going lax against Jeno’s side. 

That’s when the problems begin, for Jeno at least. They’re all tucked in tight on the sofa, which is a bit on the smaller side anyways, but especially with Jisung and Renjun’s wide shoulders to contend with, shoulder that are near magnetized to Jeno, as are their arms and hips and thighs and knees as they sit straight forward and still—polite. 

And don’t get him wrong he likes this movie but he’s seen it so many times he’s sure he could close his eyes and run through it in his mind, the back of his eyelids a private cinema. The choreographed action and witty banter isn’t enough to distract him from the heat on either side of him, the way they shift with every steady inhale or sip of their drink. 

Is he imagining the tension? There’s really no way to tell without looking around and drawing attention to himself, ‘what’s wrong?’ Or ‘all good?’ Questions he won’t be able to give a confident reply to. So instead he focuses on a more important question: why would there be tension?

Awkwardness sure, plenty of clear lines from A to B, but tension is something else entirely, at least the kind Jeno is feeling—imagining? If there was genuinely tension, especially sexual tension, between them what would that imply exactly? They’d already had sex, kind of, and it’s not like they were ever going to do that or anything close again! It was a one time thing, he and Renjun talked about it, right? 

So yeah there can’t be any tension, unless he’s sensing tension between Renjun and Jisung. That would be a plausible explanation! Maybe that’s this feeling he’s getting? Two lovers, used to seeing each other in a sexual intimate way, naked and wet, sometimes even right on this very couc—

“Zzzzz…..”

Jeno is shocked from his purely hypothetical musings by Renjun’s obnoxious snore. His boyfriend is folded in on himself, head on his knee like a pillow, wine glass precariously held in his sleep loose hand, which Jeno quickly takes before sitting back, glancing over at Jisung as he does. 

Jisung looks just as shocked as Jisung felt by the noise, eyes wide and hand coming up to his mouth to hold back his laughter. The pair of them do their best to keep quiet as they giggle at Renjun’s ongoing little snores and his sleepy form, but to very minor success before Jisung snorts and Renjun startles awake. 

He’s mad not just for them disturbing his sleep, though he denies it and ever having been asleep in the first place, but for the movie and their teasing. It’s a kind of blanket annoyance that anyone might experience post nap but it’s at least 30% more adorable on Renjun’s delicate features. 

They finish the movie and then it’s over. Jeno survived and nothing was awkward and he decides very firmly that there was also no tension to speak of. It feels like a total success. They send Jisung off with garlic bread and beer leftovers, and general assurances that they need to do this again soon, Renjun’s sealed with a gentle good bye kiss that he only pretends to be grumpy about, making the same annoyed face he’d been making on the couch earlier. 

Jeno really, genuinely believes the night has gone off without a hitch and is moments from celebrating as he watches Jisung set down his spoils so he can slip his shoes and jacket on when Renjun clears his throat, sliding an arm around Jeno’s waist. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Across the room Jeno and Jisung make eye contact, both of them knowing exactly what Renjun is suggesting. They both blush, a healthy amount of hesitation making Jeno sure that there is simply no way Jisung will do it. There’s no way he will straighten up and backtrack to stand directly in front of Jeno. No way he’ll smile his little downturned smile and then lean in and… oh god, Jisung is kissing him. 

It’s soft but deep, a lingering kiss that tastes like beer and peanuts for some reason, maybe he’d broken into the stash of mini snickers in the pantry? His hands cup Jeno’s face gently as Jeno stands there near stock still except for the movement of his lips against Jeno’s. It lasts mere moments then Jisung is backing away, leaving for real this time.

Jeno thinks back to the Jeno of nearly three minutes ago who thought this night was a complete success and realizes maybe he had been a fool. 

The next day he doesn’t go in to work. He and Renjun went straight to bed after Jisung left, leaving any cleaning for future them to worry about. Renjun waited until the lights were off and they were tucked under the covers to shimmy over and kiss Jeno. 

It’s a lazy kind of kiss, that could go somewhere but doesn’t. They kiss until Renjun is practically asleep, his mouth barely moving against Jeno’s, but when Jeno pulls away he whines. 

“Don’t stop.” 

Jeno tucks a strand of hair behind Renjun’s ear. “You’re falling asleep baby.”

“Kiss me until I am.”

He could never deny a request like that so he kisses gently at his lips until his body isn’t responding at all, then wraps an arm around him and snuggles up so his head is tucked under Jeno’s chin, cheek on his chest.  He stared into the darkness of their room until his own eyelids started to droop, and in the quiet dark he’d confessed:

“I don’t know what we’re doing anymore.”

If Renjun heard him and was concerned he didn’t act like it the next morning. When Jeno woke up and crawled out of bed his head was pounding from one glass and one thought too many. He heard the shower and the sound of Renjun’s radio but didn’t go in to greet him just yet, instead throwing on pants and a jacket, slipping on the first warm pair of shoes by the door, and walking down to the cafe just outside their building. 

He bought coffees and got a Cherry danish for Renjun and a bacon chive scone for himself then went straight back up. Renjun was out of the shower and nearly ready to go when he got back, and he stumbles out of their room, shirt half buttoned and long damp hair dripping onto his shoulders. 

“Hey, I was wondering where you got off to, are you going to have time to get ready?” 

“I’m actually gonna call out.”

Renjun furrows his brow, taking his coffee from Jeno and taking a break to sip it. “Yeah? How come?”

“I’m just not feeling it. Plus if I stay home I can clean up,” he gestures at the empty glasses on the table, the candles that have burnt down to nothing, the un-fluffed cushions. To Jeno it’s like evidence of some crime that he desperately wants to be rid of, but it probably doesn’t look like much because Renjun looks at it, then back at him questioningly. 

“Sure baby. Be sure to get some rest though too, okay?”

“I will.”

He kisses Jeno goodbye, throwing his bag over his shoulder and biting onto his danish as he backs out the door with a final wave. 

After popping on the TV for some background noise he showers, long and hot, then dresses in loose sweats and a zip up, not bothering with a shirt. He’s been drinking his coffee on and off but his scone has gone cold with neglect so he puts it in the toaster oven to warm it back up. 

He settles on the couch while he waits and tries to focus on the show but it does little to hold his attention so instead he pulls out his phone. His teacher’s aide texted him, they got old man Harding to sub, u better be dying!!!, but he doesn’t text back—maybe after lunch? He groans and decides he might as well clean up. 

He’s putting the last wine glass on the drying rack when there’s a knock at the door. He looks at the time, barely 9:30, but still probably too late for it to be Renjun looking for something forgotten or deciding he should bail on work too and spend the day snuggled with Jeno on the couch. 

Whatever he’d thought, Jisung being on the other side of the door wasn’t among the options. 

“Hey hyung!”

“Jisung, what are you doing here?” The timer on the toaster oven goes off in the kitchen. “Hold on.”

He leaves Jisung in the doorway and half jogs into the kitchen, turning the timer off and pulling the scone out with the little tongs, and when he turns around he finds Jisung has followed him. 

“You know Renjun isn’t here, right?” He asks, and Jisung makes a face. 

“Well yeah, he’s the one who told me you’re home for the day.” Oh. Right. “I think my AirPods feel out of my pocket last night so I wanted to come check. They’re dead or I’d use the app to find them.”

Jeno nods, watching his face as he explains gesturing toward the rest of the house. “Of course. Uh, feel free to look wherever. I’ll just…” he looks down at his scone. “Be here eating.”

Jisung looks like he’s trying not to laugh but he gives a thumbs up. 

“Sounds good.”

While Jisung looks Jeno pokes around at the scone, eating a bite or two before he stops, too nervous to continue. That had been glaringly awkward—right? After the dance class and after last night he’d thought they were past that but maybe not? Maybe they would always be awkward without Renjun to balance them out. 

Or worse, maybe they had been fine, but after that little joke Renjun played, making Jisung kiss him like Jeno had done weeks before, maybe Jeno was projecting his awkwardness? He’d laid in bed last night and felt the weight of his confusion and maybe just maybe that was the main reason he wasn’t up to facing a class full of 1st graders and car rider duty and school lunch. But that was Jeno’s problem and he didn’t want to make things hard on anyone else. 

Before he can get totally lost in his own thoughts Jisung comes around the corner, hovering in the doorway and holding up his phone. 

“Chenle found them in his car.”

“Oh that’s great.” But does it really feel great? Why does he care either way? Jeno lets go of a tense breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “Do you uh need anything? Or like want anything else before you go?”

The corners of his mouth down turn, consideringly. “A glass of milk?” He asks, and it gives Jeno pause. 

“Uh, I’m not sure we do have? We usually—“

“Hyung, I was kidding.” He’s giving Jeno another face. “You know I’m not actually a kid right?”

He laughs and Jeno does his best to laugh along with him, not bothering to point out that first time with the chocolate flavored almond milk. 

“Right, of course. Of course I do.”

Jisung nods, and takes a tentative step forward. “Good.”

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around?”

Jisung takes another step forward. 

“Mm, but before I go I don’t want to forget anything else…”

“What do you mean?” 

Jeno gulps as Jisung takes a final wide step, closing the distance between them. He’s so close that Jeno can feel the heat of him, can smell his body wash, and it’s so like that day at the laser tag place. Or like last night when…

“Goodnight kiss.” Jisung whispers, and uses his hand to tilt Jeno’s chin up, leaning down so the only thing between them is their breath. Possibility. Then he kisses Jeno. 

It’s different. Every kiss he’s shared with Jisung has been different than the one before. This one is sensual and deep. Like Jisung isn’t just kissing him he’s trying to consume Jeno—and goddamn if Jeno isn’t tempted to let him. 

He breaks the kiss, pulling back just enough to stare up into Jisung’s eyes. He means to say something but Jisung is already diving back in to kiss him again, so Jeno turns his head. Instead of stopping Jisung, he lets him press closer, kissing Jeno’s jaw and down his neck, sucking and biting at the soft skin there. 

Between them, Jisung’s hand trails down his chest to his waist, toying with the fabric of his waistband. Jeno feels hot all over, so lost in the moment that he must not hear the door open again. He only knows they’re not alone anymore when he hears Renjun speak from the door way. 

“What are you doing?”

They break apart, Jeno flushing harder than he was before, not with desire, but a hot wave of shame. He doesn’t know what to do or say so he stays silent, frozen except for a cursory glance over at Jisung who seems surprised to see Renjun but not bothered in the least. 

Logically he knew that Renjun’s question was rhetorical, because it was pretty hard to misinterpret your boyfriend and your… not boyfriend… making out in your kitchen, but it’s confirmed when he doesn’t bother repeating himself when he doesn’t get an answer. Instead he settles more firmly in the doorway, leaning his shoulder on the wood and crossing on leg over the other. 

“Is this what you’ve been wanting?” He asks with genuine curiosity, without judgement, and Jeno’s mouth goes dry. 

He knows what he should say, what they expect him to say. Because that was the rub wasn’t it? Renjun and Jisung had known what Jeno wanted before he had; have been trying to coax him into admitting it this whole time. Even still he can’t bring himself to actually say it, words stuck in his throat. So he nods. Just once. Slow and definite. 

Renjun smiles, like he’s happy. “Then give in.”

Give in? Jeno watches Renjun’s face for any sign that this is some fucked up test, and seeing none he chances another look at Jisung. What he finds there shocks him. Barely concealed desire, mixed with what he might describe, if asked, as desperation. Jisung wants this too. He wants Jeno to give in. 

So he does. 

It only takes one more minuscule nod of the head for Jisung to fall over him again, pressing Jeno into the counter, pulling him into a deep kiss as his hands wind themselves over his body. He unzips the thin hoodie Jeno is wearing to uncover more of his flushed skin, the fabric dropping to the ground as Jisung hitches him up onto the counter. 

He licks into Jeno’s mouth with purpose before letting his tongue make the same path it had before, trailing wet and hot along Jeno’s jaw to the soft spot by his ear, and Jeno lolls his head to one side to give him better access. 

A small soft hand against his cheek makes Jeno open his eyes. Renjun has abandoned the door way to join them and the tips of his fingers brush against the nape of his neck and he leans in for a gentle kiss. The difference between the touch of Renjun’s lips and Jisung’s is dizzying, and he moans low and breathless. 

When Renjun pulls back from Jeno he touches Jisung in the same spot to get his attention. 

“Bring him to the bedroom.” He speaks with a familiar authority that makes Jeno’s stomach dip dangerously, then disappears, leaving Jisung to follow his command. 

Jisung doesn’t move right away, instead trailing his lips back up to Jeno’s mouth and kissing him breathless again. Jeno winds his arms around Jisung, expecting help getting down from the counter, but is shocked when Jisung doesn’t break their kiss or help him down but rather  hitches him up again, off the counter and against him. 

Jeno wraps his legs around Jisung’s waist and they sway like that for a moment before he does finally start to move, slow and steady toward the bedroom. 

In the hall Jeno feels himself slipping slightly and does his best to shift back up, moaning when this causes unexpected, toe curling friction—for both of them if Jisung’s reaction is anything to go by. He pauses, slamming Jeno into the wall and repeating the moment. 

He’s used to a little roughness and manhandling, but with Renjun it’s all about control. In Jisung’s case theres a young desperation and eagerness to the way he moves his hips against Jeno and he can almost imagine them staying like this, teasing each other until they collapse. 

When they do make it to the bedroom Renjun is already there, in the lamp lit dark, sitting in the armchair to the side of their dresser, waiting, and he stays there as they tangle together on the bed. 

He watches as Jeno and Jisung undress each other the rest of the way, so it’s just skin against skin. Watches as Jisung fumbles for the lube and starts opening Jeno up. He can feel the weight of Renjun’s stare as Jisung flips them over so Jeno is in lap, hands braced against the headboard, but the first sign he gives that this is effecting him, that he’s not just a voyeur comes in the form of a breathy sigh as Jisung slips inside Jeno in one slow push. 

Jeno loses track of things for a moment, lost in the delicious mix of pleasure and pain. In the past five years they’ve been together, Jeno has only ever taken Renjun, he can’t even remember where the dildo he used to use from time to time is. Regardless taking Jisung is an adjustment.

He struggles to keep his breathing even, sitting still as a stone while Jisung rubs soothing circles against his hips with his thumbs. Jeno folds himself at the waist and blankets his body over Jisung’s. 

“Kiss me.” He whispers, and Jisung obliges, starting with a soft brush of their lips before kissing him again more firmly. When he starts working his tongue over the seam of Jeno’s lips Jeno whines and rocks back, suddenly ready. 

It’s effortless, the way they work together to bounce Jeno’s body down and rock Jisung up, a natural movement that feels easy as breathing, but Jeno wants more. He pulls out of the kiss to position himself upright and use his strong legs to speed up the cadence, to bring himself down onto Jisung’s cock faster and faster, orgasm building fast. Jeno knows that he probably won’t last long if he isn’t careful, but can’t bring himself to slow down. Thankfully he isn’t—they aren’t—alone. 

Somewhere in the midst of it all Renjun had vacated his chair and made his way to the bed. Jeno barely registers the first brush of Renjun’s lips on his shoulder, but then he does it again and again. He’s kneeling between Jisung’s legs, behind Jeno, and once he has Jeno’s attention he starts trailing kisses up his shoulder to his neck. 

That’s when he starts talking. 

“You two look so good together. Better than I ever could have imagined.” He uses a gentle finger to turn Jeno’s head, pulling him into a filthy kiss and below him Jisung’s grip on his hips tightens. “And I did… imagine it, I mean.”

Jeno blushes. 

“But you did too, didn't you Jisung?”

This catches Jeno’s attention and he looks down at Jisung, expecting a smarmy grin or something like triumph even, but once again Jeno is surprised. Jisung looks nervous. 

“You should tell Jeno about it.”

He’s wondering if maybe he’s so caught up in it all he’s seeing shadows where there aren’t any. “Did you have a dirty dream about me Jisung?” He jokes, hoping it will ease the feeling.

“Yeah Jisung, did you have a dirty dream about our Jeno?”

The way he says ‘our’ winds Jeno even tighter, turning him on at the same time as it confuses him. Behind him Renjun has slipped a finger in alongside Jisung’s cock, and the strain of it and the turn of their conversation.

“Why don’t you tell Jeno the truth?”

Jeno’s missing something here, that much is clear, but it’s heard to verbalize that—to demand clarity—when Renjun adds a second finger and his jaw goes slack. 

“Renjun, come on…” Jisung’s own voice is shaking, his hip movements slow but erratic. It’s unclear whether he’s asking Renjun to stop talking about whatever it is they’re talking about, or if he wants Renjun to go ahead and stop teasing. 

“I’m going to give you what you want,” he says. “All three of us, right? But that’s not how it started. How did it start?”

When Jisung doesn’t say anything he turns his attention back to Jeno.“You remember don’t you baby? That day in the book store.”

He nods, rocking his hips back almost mindlessly. “Yes.”

“Why don’t you tell Jeno, Jisung? Tell him who you really wanted.”

“What?”

Jeno doesn’t know what he means. Who Jisung really wanted? He’d wanted Renjun and he’d gotten him. For a moment the question overtakes anything else, but then he feels Renjun, the weight of his dick brushing against Jeno where Jisung is already pressed deep inside. He’s lined up to do what at the moment feels physically impossible, but still Jeno rocks back, mind clouded and body desperate. It’s clear Jisung feels it too. 

“Please Renjun."

“Tell the truth.” 

It’s an order. One that Jisung has to follow if Renjun is going to give them what they want. This is what they want, right? It had never occurred to him before but now the idea is pinging around inside Jeno’s mind and he can’t imagine a world in which he doesn’t have both of them right now. 

“Jisung?” It’s a question and a plea. Jeno can’t bring himself to say much else but it must do the job because Jisung draws up and kisses him. 

“You. I wanted you Jeno.”

Jeno doesn’t get the chance to process this because no sooner have the words left Jisung’s mouth than Renjun is pushing his way inside, pushing Jeno’s body to the limit. He wants to scream and cry but he also has never felt better in his whole life; every nerve ending, every synapse firing in perfect unison. Jisung has moved one of his big hands off Jeno’s hip to claw at Renjun’s drawing him in closer, faster. 

It takes only takes a few shallow, synchronized thrusts to send Jeno over the edge, moaning and gasping with it as he lets himself fall prone against Jisung’s chest as he follows, flooding inside Jeno with heat and only building the pressure, making him mewl. 

Once Jisung has come Renjun takes his time. He’s shaking above them as he thrusts, against Jisung’s softening dick, the movement pushes Jisung’s come out in spurts and Renjun picks up his pace and then comes as Jeno’s hole flutters around them. 

What happened after comes and goes in flashes of pleasure soft memory. Jisung and Renjun working to disentangle their bodies without his help. The warm brush of a damp washcloth. The crisp cool of the sheets pulled up around him. Then it all when black until now. 

Jeno has no idea what else might have happened or how long he’s been asleep when he wakes up. On either side of him Renjun and Jisung are resting peacefully. The lamp that illuminated the room earlier has been turned off and a quick glance at the curtains tells him that the sun has set already, so it’s been hours at least. 

Sitting there the reality of the situation settles over him. He had a threesome. With his boyfriend and… he sits up properly now. What is Jisung to him? To them? Did this change everything? 

It’s this thought that reminds him of what Jisung said. What Renjun made him say: “You. I wanted you Jeno.” What had that all been about, exactly?

With a sudden urgency he has to get out of the bed. Drawing his legs up, he crawls over the bedding to stand at the foot, looking down at the other two, but this only makes the feeling worse so he instead goes to sit down in the chair.

Logically he knew that Renjun wanted this to happen, it had been evident from the way he directed them; watched them from this very spot. He tried to imagine what he had seen, what they’d looked like on the bed together, but he stops when a full body flush comes over him and he has to put his head between his knees to try and calm down. 

He must have been making more noise that he meant to because he hears rustling and when he sits up he finds Renjun and Jisung stirring on the bed. It’s Jeno’s turn to be a voyeur as Jisung’s eyes flutter open and Renjun rolls over to him, kissing him awake properly.  It makes him feel oddly calm to see—used to the easy affection between them. 

They seem to notice at the same time that Jeno isn’t with them and when they spot him their combined gaze hits him with force. 

“Hey.”

Renjun smiles. “Hey baby. What are you doing all the way over there?”

“I—“ Jeno stops short.

Jisung’s gaze is intent and dissecting; when Jeno doesn’t finish his sentence he seems to make some kind of conclusion. 

“I can go? If you want.”

No. That’s not what Jeno wants. What he wants is answers, but he wouldn’t even know where to begin. I wanted you Jeno. Thats what he’d said, but had he meant it? What was the alternative that they’d been joking? Playing some kind of game with his feelings? Jeno didn’t want to know. 

“No you should stay.” His eyes stay locked on the pair of them, laying in Jeno and Renjun’s bed and he feels an uneasiness come over him. “I’ll go.”

“Jeno?”

“Wait, why would you leave?”

Jeno starts pulling on clothes, a mix of his and others from the floor. “It’s okay. I think, I just think this will be for the best.”

He stumbles out of the room, not thinking clearly. Mind swirling from sleep and confusion and most of all grief, but if he had expected to leave without a fuss he’d miscalculated, as Renjun and Jisung follow close behind him. 

“Jeno, seriously, where are you even going?”

“I don’t know, my sister’s place. Markmin’s apartment.”

His sister’s place is too far and Mark and Jaemin don’t have room for him unless you count their uncomfortable couch, but it doesn’t matter. He clearly can’t stay here. 

“Jeno, just stop!”

“NO!” He whirls around, nearly loosing his balance. “I am not doing this. I am not playing whatever game this is!”

“Game? What game?”

“This ploy or whatever. I don’t know if you were just toying with me or if you genuinely convinced yourself this was better than just telling me the truth but I don’t want any part of it!”

“Jeno, what on earth are you talking about?”

“All that talk—about Jisung wanting me and the day we met. I get that all this vanilla stuff isn’t enough for you, but did you really have to drag me into it? Sex is one thing, but lying about some pining bullshit seems kind of low.”

His words resound in their small flat, Renjun looks shocked, mouth open and eyes wide, while Jisung maintains an air of a chastised child. Jeno breathes heavily, waiting for one of them to say something, or at least own up. After a moment Renjun gains some of his composure back, closing his mouth, only to open it again a second later. 

“You think I made that up?” He asks. “Do you really think so little of me?”

“I—no, that’s not what I—“

“Then how can you accuse me of using you like some kind of pawn!”

“Well, if I’m wrong why don’t you expl—“

“It’s my fault.”

It’s quiet enough that it makes them both stop in their tracks and look over at Jisung, who’s staring down at his bare feet, sheepish. 

“Your fault? What do you mean?” Jeno asks. 

“Renjun wanted to tell you a long time ago.” He says, looking over at Renjun. “Well he wanted me to tell you.”

Jeno swallowed. This was it.  “Tell me what?”

“About that day, in the store.”

Jisung wouldn’t exactly call himself a gamer. Sure he will play video games. Enjoys it even, but he wasn’t foaming at the mouth over Death Metal Zombies 5 or whatever was super popular. Most games were just a little violent for him and keeping up with the super popular releases and consoles was a fucking bottomless money pit at times, so he’d kind of stopped right around the time he was thirteen and just stuck to FIFA. 

His friends back home made fun of him but he played the same outdated copy he’d gotten for his tenth birthday religiously. He was loyal, that’s all. So loyal, and so religious that the fact that he’d played it until it was completely obsolete wasn’t a huge shock to him. 

When he’d loaded the game to find nothing but a rainbow spiderweb of glitching and an irritating grinding noise played over the speaker he’d sighed and considered that maybe this was the end for him. Well the end of him and video games anyways, but Chenle had just laughed at him and handed him a wad of cash. 

“Just go get a new copy. The VC on fifth sells new and used.”

Which is how he ended up here, kneeling in the one of the aisles searching through a box he found in the floor as a last ditch effort. When he first arrived he’d asked an employee but he just assumed Jisung was looking for the latest iteration and dragged him over to a section for ‘New Releases’. He hadn’t had the heart to admit the truth, so he’d thanked him and then waited an appropriate amount of time before wandering off to look for it himself. 

He’s nearing the bottom of the box when a low throaty voice speaks from above him. 

“Excuse me?”

He jumps a little but the fear fades as he looks up and finds himself face to face with the most handsome guy he's ever laid eyes on. He’s got a masculine bone structure, defined and square, with a strong nose that rounds into a perfect tip. He looks down at Jisung with wide dark eyes, sparkling with concern, and framed with thick lashes that match his dark hair. 

“Sorry, I didn’t meant to scare you.”

His words snap Jeno out of his trance and he starts spluttering. 

“Oh, you didn’t.” He shakes his head a bit. “I mean you did, but it’s totally okay.”

He purses his lips so he can’t make a bigger fool out of himself than he already did. Jeno’s eyes close with the force of his charm smile and Jisung has to remind himself to breathe.

“Well, I was looking for a game called Calico? It’s new but I didn’t see it over there.” He gestures over to the new release shelf at the front and Jisung follows the movement with his eyes. “Could you help me?”

It’s only then that he realizes that Jeno thinks he’s an employee. The embarassment of it hits him right where it hurts, but maybe it’s an opportunity? If he plays along he’ll at the very least prolong their interaction.

“Uh, yeah, of course. I think it was moved for the new Fall Out release.” 

He says it with authority, like he might actually know, when the truth is he just happened to see that was what was what was on the shelf Jeno had been gesturing to. He stands up, and is only a little surprised to find he's taller, even though it obvious from his arms he could still take Jisung in a fight if he was ever so inclined. 

“It should be over here.”

He leads Jeno along the aisles until they find the game he’s looking for and he bends down to snatch one of the few copies left off. He’s just about to hand it over, maybe play up the knight in shining armor vibe a little, when someone else approaches.

“Did you find it?”

The second guy is small, with delicate, feline features and soft shiny hair that just brushes his ears, but he has a commanding kind of aura. He’s clutching a stack of old records with worn paper sleeves, and looks up expectantly between Jisung and his dream man. 

“Yeah! Well, I didn’t it was…” he trails off  leaving space for Jisung to fill in the blank. “Jisung.”

McDreamy brandishes his new game. “All thanks to Jisung.”

This makes the newcomer look at him curiously. “Jisung… you don’t happen to know Chenle?”

“Zhong Chenle?” Jisung’s eyebrows raise. “Uh, yeah he’s my roommate. Do you?”

They both nod. “Chenle is a friend of a friend.”

“Oh wow, small world. So you guys are…”

“I’m Jeno and this is my boyfriend Renjun.”

Yeah that tracks. The love of his life already has a boyfriend. This is going to make great fodder for his biography. He hums in acknowledgment. The names do sound familiar.

“Okay, yeah! Chenle has mentioned you guys, what a small world.” 

Suddenly, Renjun gets a sly look on his tiny perfect face.

“Say, Jisung… do you actually work here?”

Jeno snaps his gaze to Jisung, and he feels his cheeks and nose pinking up. 

“Wait, you don't work here?” Jeno asks and Jisung reluctantly shakes his head. “Then why did you help like that?”

He opens his mouth to speak but what is he supposed to say? You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and I was going to shoot my shot? Not likely. So he closes it again and laughs instead. 

Before he can think twice Renjun speaks.

“Hey, it's okay. I get it.” He says, and Jisung can see in his eyes that he means it. He sees right through Jisung’s blush and quiet. If Jisung is waiting for a reprimand or a callout it never comes, and it makes Jisung think he meant that he almost expected Jeno to make people fall in love wherever they go. Instead he changes the subject.“I think there’s a group hang or something on Friday, make sure Chenle brings you along.”

Jisung smiles, grateful and against his better judgement even more intrigued than he had been a second ago. 

“Sounds good. It was nice to meet you.” He glances between them. “Both of you.”

Renjun just smiles and starts pulling Jeno along after him, toward the register. 

"Nice to meet you too Jisung! See you!” Jeno says, throwing the goodbye over his shoulder as he follows his boyfriend back down the aisle the way they’d come.  

“… Do you understand now?” Jisung asks, looking at Jeno with wide eyes. But the truth is he doesn’t. 

That story was obviously familiar enough, he was there after all. But the way Jisung told it didn’t fit with what he’d always understood about that day. Jeno always thought that he just helped to be nice—to avoid confrontation—and that Renjun understood because he would have done the same. Not that Jisung had been trying to… what, flirt with him?

“If you’re telling the truth, how did this happen?” He gestures between them. 

Jisung gulps. 

“It wasn’t on purpose. I mean not how it might seem, you have to believe me.” Jeno waits patiently for him to continue. “When we saw each other again at the group hang I really was just content with friendship. I liked—I mean like—you both, but you were together so I didn’t think I had a chance.”

“What changed?”

“He found out about our arrangement, that we can have sex with other people.”

“We were such good friends and I wanted so much more, and so when I found out I could have even a piece of it I jumped at the chance.”

“But just with Renjun.” Jeno says. It’s not a question, but both he and Jisung shake their heads emphatically. 

“No, I didn’t realize before that you thought our deal didn’t apply to you, remember? I just thought you never partook. So I told Jisung as much—that he was welcome to try but that it maybe just isn’t your style.”

“When I realized I had a chance to be with both of you, it felt too good to be true, but Renjun pushed me to at least try.”

“So you want me, too?”

Jisung had the decency not to sigh in relief that Jeno was finally getting it but Renjun wasn’t so kind about it, throwing his hands up, and Jeno’s mouth fell open in a silent ‘o’.

“Is that… is that something you want?”

Renjun asks, Jisung’s face echoing the question, and Jeno has to admit he’s surprised by the vulnerability he sees there. 

“I love you Renjun. And Jisung I like you, and obviously there’s something more between us. But I can’t lie and say this isn’t overwhelming.”

It must be clear on his face that he has more to say because they let him carry on. 

“When Renjun and I got together, I just… I couldn’t believe my luck that someone like you wanted me. I knew what you wanted and even if I hadn’t been okay with it I think I would have made myself, so I could stay with you.”

He looks at the floor afraid to see the look on Renjun’s face. 

“But I was fine with it because I knew you’d be coming home with me no matter what. Then Jisung came along and I maybe should have been jealous or worried and obviously I had my moments but it was also… comforting. To know when you needed that you could turn to someone else who was safe and kind.

I never in a million years considered that there would be something else between us. I suspected maybe someday you’d want Jisung around more permanently, at the back of my mind, but not in a way that included me. So when you started to show interest I panicked and I felt guilty and I guess I convinced myself that it was a fluke or a whim or something.”

He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until Renjun is in front of him, wiping away his tears, and he looks up. 

“Jeno, I love you. I love you because you’re beautiful and kind and not even a little bit funny but you still make me laugh. And more than that I love you because you have always accepted me for who I am. I never wanted to make you jealous or play games, I want you to know that.”

Jeno sniffles. “I do. Logically, of course I do.”

Renjun smiles, “Good. I also want to say that I know that it’s probably obvious because of how things have changed, but I think the reason I made our arrangement wasn’t because you aren’t enough but because I was meant to love two. You,” he says with a gentle caress of his cheek. “And Jisung.”

They turn to Jisung who looks like he’s about to pass out, a dazed look on his face. Renjun reaches out a hand to him but he hesitates, looking at Jeno, and waits until Jeno reaches out too, and they pull him in close.

“I think I want it to just be us. The three of us. But only if we all agree.”

He looks at Jisung first.  “Count me in, as long as this isn’t just another dream.” They laugh and then turn to Jeno. 

“I mean I think I made it clear that I would do anything for you.” He says, directed at Renjun and he feels the pair of them tense. “But, I also really like you Jisung. I’ve never done anything like this, but I want to try it too.”

A brilliant smile breaks over Renjun’s face. 

“You really mean that?”

He does. It isn’t what Jeno ever expected to happen but sometimes those were exactly the sorts of amazing things that you needed. The past weeks have been epically high and low but standing there, the three of them it felt like something was settling into place. He wasn’t sure about anything, but he also wasn’t scared. He could trust Jisung and Renjun—would be trusting them with his whole heart. 

But he’s tired of talking now, and at any rate he doesn’t want to put his foot in his mouth so he decides to show them just how much he does mean it, catching Jisung’s eye and leaning in to kiss him. A sound, solid kiss filled with promise. Every kiss they’d shared has been different but this was by far his favorite. 

They part and Jeno turns his gaze on Renjun, kissing him too, before watching in awe as Renjun and Jisung finally kiss each other. He wonders if they each feel this electric fluttering, as they take it in turns to seal this new arrangement. 

“We’re really doing this?” Jisung asks, and Jeno nods. 

“We’re really doing this. Together.” Renjun says, smile taking over his face once more, the happiness infectious as they break into giddy, nervous laughter. 

They’re really doing it. Jeno doesn’t know what is going to happen next or what this makes them. Boyfriends? A throuple? Regardless he knows that they’ll figure it out. They’re together after all, which seems like a perfectly good place to start.