Work Text:
With all of the shit that the Sleep Deprived crew did together, it was honestly quite insane that they’d never gotten high. Yeah, they got drunk on a couple of occasions, but that obviously didn’t always work out well seeing how the last video they made doing a challenge like that led to it being removed for “violating community guidelines”.
So, with that in mind, along with heavily influenced support via Astrid, they decided to instead get high together. Better yet, they would do so to celebrate their second meet up together! What Schlatt couldn’t have foreseen, though, was how absolutely breathtaking Aztrosist would be in person. The last time they met, Aztro had barely been through her transition, and he, admittedly, hadn’t even thought about her that way at the time. Now, after months of subtle flirting under the guise of it being satirical, he found that he wasn’t as ballsy as he was over a variety of voice calls for videos.
Despite all of that, they now sat within the living room of the AirBnb that they rented for their group meetup. A few beers laid strewn around the room that they’d been absentmindedly drinking throughout their conversation, allowing them to loosen up within their light intoxication. Apandah and Schlatt sat on one couch, chatting about stupid incel crap and shoving each other playfully as Apandah kept on showing the New Yorker crude reddit posts. On the other hand, Schlatt showed Apandah vulgar, highly suggestive photos that he found on the femboy subreddit. Their tipsy giggles could be heard from the other two members, who sat on the opposite side of the living room chatting up a conversation of their own. Astrid, Schlatt had noticed as he snuck timid, short glances at the girl, sat on an armchair as she carefully rolled up a joint for them to share together. Her blonde hair was curled at the ends and some strands frizzed up from the air’s natural humidity, while her face held beautifully done makeup that only accentuated her sharp facial features. She wore a black and white short-sleeved cropped top with a star in the center along with low-rise black flared jeans, shoes off and knees to her chest as she dutifully licked the joint shut to keep it in shape for their upcoming smoke sesh. Mika sat on the floor next to her seat, legs criss-crossed as he rambled on about this new cologne scent that he’d found as a “cologne connoisseur”.
While it was probably unnecessary, Aztrosist had rolled two joints just in case, while also keeping in mind that it didn’t fucking matter if they never ended up finishing it or even using it at all since she could always just save it for later. Once she was done, though, she got everyone’s attention with a clap.
“Guy’s, get the hell off of Reddit! The shits done!” And the two others came closer like clock work, sitting on the love seat next to Aztrosist’s armchair that Mika had previously decided not to sit on (for some fucking reason). “In case you dipshits aren’t aware of the rules, it’s puff-puff-pass, alright? No holding onto it for longer than you need to. And, uh, if you green out, that’s all on your tolerance. Any funny shit you guys say afterwards will most certainly stay in my mind for eternity.”
“Hey, Mika,” Apandah pointed out, smirking something sinister before he’d even said anything, “is high you gonna be the same as drunk you? Are you gonna put your hands all up on my hot body?” And Schlatt, being his usual buzzed self, cackled at the joke, despite it not being that funny.
However, Mika must have been feeling extra confident from his own buzz, laughing off the tease before replying, “You wish I would, don’t you Panda?” The joke made them all laugh after that, smoke coming out of Aztro’s mouth in exhale along with her own little giggle. She then passed it down to Mika next to her, who hesitated for a moment before smoking it himself, coughing up a storm after practically inhaling it like an idiot. “Oh, come on Meeker! You went so hard on that bong after the Gartic Phone video, what happened?”
“Oh-“ cough “shut up Az-“ cough “tro,” he cleared his throat before he continued on, cheeks red from both his coughing and his embarrassment from doing so, “the rest of us don’t smoke like you do.” He took another puff, albeit shorter than his previous one, releasing it with better control than before. “You know, this doesn’t actually taste that good..” the brunet muttered as he passed the joint off to Apandah. Aztro smiled softly all the while, eying Schlatt’s manspread form before looking elsewhere when his eyes flicked to her. Apandah, despite his act of being this “all-knowing” guy, coughed heavily just like Mika, idiotically taking a sip of his beer to dull his coughing fit, unknowingly sealing his cross-faded fate.
“Awe, come on Mika, this shit tastes fantastic!” He then slid down to the ground next to Mika in a playful manner, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he held the joint in his face as if to “tempt” him before taking another, better calculated, puff. “Like the smell of grass on a Summer night, dude…”— blowing the smoke right into Mika’s face, causing Mikas nose to scrunch up with a grimace before smacking Apandah lightly. “Won’t yuck your yum, I guess..” and Astrid giggled at the two’s banter, her buzz making everything 10x funnier than before.
Now, however, it was Schlatt’s turn, who took the joint cautiously, usually— and strictly— drinking instead of smoking. Due to Astrid’s convincing, though, and the fact that he, deep down, couldn’t deny her, especially in person, he just couldn’t say no. So instead of pussing out at his hesitance, he inhaled steadily, feeling the burn of the smoke hit the back of his throat. He never would’ve thought the feeling could be so addicting. “This the shit you like, bitch?” He asked with a loopy smile, watching her grin back wryly before taking another puff and watching the smoke flow out of his mouth.
“You’ve gotta admit, Big Guy,” she whispered with a giggle, tone weirdly seductive as the nickname rolled off of her tongue, “that crap is ten times better than the alcohol you love so much.” And fuck, did his heart just skip a beat? He couldn’t give in though, holding onto his sobriety the best he could by saying, “Yeah, yeah, fuck you bitch…” yet all she could do laugh in return, the cross-fade she was experiencing leaving her completely uncaring. From that point on, they passed the joint around as they spoke about stupid jokes they made on the spot.
“Do you want me to edge you squidy?” Apandah asked in his squilliam voice, eyes red and squinted. The three of them found it hilarious, cackling, while Aztrosist accidentally hiccuped in between her laughs.
“You’re fucking hilarious Pandah,” Aztrosist mentioned, warm and tingly all around, “However, I’m like… super fucking hungry right now. Can you and Meeker go get us all some crap to eat? That would be… so good, man.” And Apandah and Mika, who had been playing footsies for the past five minutes, happily obeyed, laughing as they walked to the kitchen together.
So, all that left them with was Schlatt and Aztrosist alone, both different levels of stoned yet both soothed regardless. All Schlatt could do though was think. He didn’t know if it was just because he was crossfaded or not, but Astrid’s lips have never looked this soft and plush before, and her eyes have never looked as beautiful as they had now. As they went through the joint, they’d gotten closer to each other, with Schlatt insisting that she should come watch a clip on insta reels that he’d just seen. So, fortunately or not, he could watch her up close, not even realizing that he’d been staring for so long.
Before he could even process it, Astrid has already rested her hand upon his own resting on the couch, caressing his fingers timidly as she smiled a loopy smile. Schlatt’s face couldn’t help but go red at the intimate action, suddenly becoming aware of his cotton mouth as he licked his lips thirstfully. “Has… uh, anyone ever told you how pretty you are… bitch?” And all she could do was laugh in response, hand gripping the other’s as she felt the cackle take over her. “Fuck, you’re hilarious high, you know that, man?”
He just bit his lip at the question, taking way too long to even think about the question before Aztrosist just sighed and grabbed his cheeks, holding him face to face and whispering, “shut up and kiss me already, damnit.” Her lips were as soft as they looked, and it took him a second longer to process just how nice it felt to have her lithe, cold, hands hold his warm face. His own hands moved to her waist, naturally, holding onto her as the kiss deepened. Even with his own fair share of kisses in the past, this one had been, by far, the best he ever experienced. She tasted like a mix of the beer she was drinking along with the weed they just smoked, and his lead like tongue couldn’t feel any heavier with her’s against his. The kiss had only gotten better as she smoothed her hands from his cheeks down to the back of his neck, resting them there as she basically held him through the kiss.
The kiss had been so nice, in fact, that they hadn’t even noticed Apandah and Mika come back with chips and sweets along with a few sodas to chug it all down. Not until they said something, at least, with Apandah spouting, “Dude, right in front of my snacks?!” Causing them to jump up and put some space between the two, red tinted eyes widened and eyebrows risen in surprise. Mikasacus, on the other hand, uttered something about “fucking finally,” as he sat back in his seat with food in hand, munching on his first choice of chips in blissful ignorance. Apandah sat facing the side of him so he could watch the two with a shit-eating grin, absolutely unbothered despite his reaction.
All Schlatt could do in his greened out state was throw a middle finger in his direction with distain in his face, turning back to Aztro when he felt that his action of hate had sufficed. “Ya want ‘ta like.. talk about that, or something?” Yet Astrid decided to just grab his hand instead, moving her other hand to grab the bag frosted animal crackers before tilting to rest her head against Schlatt’s chest and eating them hungrily. “How about we talk about this when we’re both clear-headed? You and me both sober up, and then we can discuss what we are, ok? So just hold me for now, Big Guy.”
With a loving smile instead of a shit-eating grin, Schlatt looked down to the blonde’s figure resting against his own, weirdly dopey and happy as he watched her and ate Animal Crackers along with her. It was strange to think that their playful flirting could actually lead to something as deep-seated as this. He had no complaints, though, silently thinking that he could be thankful for weed for once, and actually enjoyed the warmth of it and the body lying against him.