Work Text:
Snowflakes fell outside the cave entrance.
“I want to go home.”
Obito leaned against the wall, frowning as Rin shivered, looking forlornly outside of the place he picked to make their home, his throat tightening. “We are home. Together, forever.”
The look Rin gave him—
She’d turned and looked right at him, and—
The look she gave him was the last look he’d ever want to get from her, and he couldn’t help but look away.
“What?”
“I’m not some object that you own Obit. Why can’t you and Kakashi get that through your heads?”
“Of course he’d see you as an object,” Obito let out a growl, looking out at the snow falling outside. “All the more reason…”
“He sees me as yours,” Rin snapped. “And I’m not yours.”
“Why are we even talking about him!” Obito snapped back, turning his head to look at her. “He tried to kill you! If I hadn’t been there…”
“He didn’t.” She continued looking at him, that look—
It was filled with a level of anger he didn’t like. “Yes, he did. I saw. Through his Sharingan.”
“So you saw what I did through his eye, not what he did,” Rin said firmly.
“Excuse me?” Obito turned back, becoming angry at her. “I saw what he did.”
“Suicide.” The word was firm, catching him off guard. “What you saw was me trying to kill myself, Obito, but can’t you put yourself in his shoes, if I had done that to you?”
His eyes widened, then he turned to look at the cave entrance. “Fuck. Why would you…” His mouth twisted. “I thought you…”
“It would have been far crueler to let him blame himself for not stopping me, for potentially killing my entire family had the beast been released, for killing all of our friends and sensei who would support him if I were gone. But you don’t know at all what it’s like for him.”
He felt a tremble in his throat. “I’m the reason you’re alive, you know.”
“And I’m grateful for that, but that doesn’t make me suddenly yours.”
“I love you,” he said.
“Sorry, Obito. I can’t. I can’t reciprocate. I can’t be who you want me to be. I can only be your friend.”
…
Two individuals showing up at Konoha’s gates, insisting to be turned over to T&I, was one of the last things Minato expected to hear, but then he learned who those two individuals were and—
Minato sent an ANBU, one of the third Hokage’s, to relieve Kakashi of his duty of watching over Kushina while making sure others kept an eye out to make sure Kakashi didn’t venture anywhere near T&I while the memories of the two, though at the end of the day he wasn’t sure what Kakashi was getting up to, which became even more worrying as more snowflakes feel from the sky, given Kakashi’s penchant for self-destructive behavior.
But then word came—
Minato headed for the room, utilizing a seal he’d left with those in charge of interrogating the two, and pulled the two into his arms, resulting in an indignant squack from the taller of the two. At the same time, the smaller pressed herself into his embrace willingly.
“Sensei,” Rin muttered, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Both of my students,” Minato said. “That I’d thought I lost forever.”
“We’re home,” Rin chirped. “You can tell Kakashi we’re home, right?”
“Ah,” Minato said, pulling away to get a good look at them, a hand on the side of each face, smiling, smiling until—
His face faultered, seeing the right side of Obito’s face, the part he wasn’t touching, remembering what he’d been informed regarding the circumstances of Obito’s return as well as how Obito managed to save Rin, after—
Obito pushed his hand away and looked away, his mouth pressed into a line. Rin turned her head. “Don’t you want to see him as well?”
The teen stiffened, eye flashing over at Minato, who was still frowning, so Minato decided to change the subject by pulling them up into another hug and off the chairs they sat on. “Come now! It’s not like you to be so gloomy, Obito!”
“Sure,” Obito finally muttered as Minato stiffened. He sighed, eye rolling, in the full swing of the rebellious teenager phase that Minato was bracing himself for with Kakashi, yet so far had never hit. “What? What now?”
“What do you mean, what now?” Minato spluttered.
“I know you saw my face, Sensei,” the teen said.
“Ah,” Minato said, reaching a hand up to ruffle the boy’s hair. “Please promise me that you won’t tease Kakashi regarding his height, Obito?”
Obito, after all, now came to just above his shoulder, having hit one of the significant growth spurts teenage boys were supposed to go through, while Kakashi—
Kakashi was at least a head shorter than Obito.
After a period of silence—
“No promises.”
Minato sighed.
...
“I messed up again.”
Kakashi brushed snow away from Rin’s grave. His throat felt tight, his mind felt tired, and his fingers ached from the cold, even though he wore the ANBU gloves on his hands. Nothing protected his shoulders from the falling snow.
“Um, well,” Kakashi muttered, then took a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck, the words locking in his mouth, unable to come out, the shame he felt—
For a moment, he distracted himself by placing the lilies into the small vases around Rin’s grave before continuing to clean the snow away from the gravestone, his knees sinking into the snow, as he didn’t care how cold it was, or how much snow kept falling.
“Sensei,” Kakashi finally mustered up the word. “I mean, lord fourth.” He choked back a sob. “He dismissed me. From my special mission.”
And unbidden—
Tears welled at the corners of his eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”
A tear fell, freezing on the cold gravestone.
“Feelings,” Kakashi muttered, frustrated at feeling, frustrated at not understanding why he felt the things he did. Particularly with the rules, though. “Such a failure.”
—for—
Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.
A few more tears fell. Kakashi wiped his face, letting out a frustrated sniff. “They won’t let me back like this. I’m trying not to break, but…”
Deep down was that fear.
“Keep busy, or else you’ll end up like him.”
A shudder ran down his spine as he swallowed, remembering how his father’s missions were cut back, and that’s when he saw him really begin to spiral.
His thin frame shook, trying to hold it in, trying not to let any more tears fall than he already shed, his fingers now gripping the edge of Rin’s grave.
How much time passed—
He didn’t know.
Enough time passed that he slumped against her grave, feeling the icy coldness press against the side of his face, matching the cold numbness seeping into his body as he refused to come out of the cold simply for the fact it felt like feeling nothing, prevented his mind from going in crazy circles with feelings and emotions he didn’t understand, couldn’t sort through.
...
Kakashi not being easy to find wasn’t usually an issue, but—
Minato looked up at the sky, seeing the snowflakes falling faster, wilder.
He’d thought Kakashi would do the sensible thing and return home. But he was at neither home, or so the ANBU he’d sent to check the Hatake residence noted, though unlike his apartment, it showed signs of someone being there at times.
To which he also had to very confused teens following him as a scowl played across his face.
“Sensei?” They arrived at the memorial stone. “He’s at it again, isn’t he?”
Minato turned to look at Rin, her face contorted with worry. “Ah. Yes. You’d remember.”
“Remember what?” Obito asked the one left out of the loop and looked confused.
“He visits you,” Rin said, looking at the memorial stone.
“In this weather?” Obito said incredulously.
“When something is troubling him,” Minato murmured. “He comes to talk to you.”
“Kakashi? Talking?” The corner of Obit’s mouth twisted slightly, looking unamused.
“He finds talking easier when it’s his nin-ken or the dead,” Minato said.
“I’m not…” Obito started saying, but then, “Rin’s grave?”
“Yeah,” Minato said, letting out a sigh as they headed towards Rin’s grave, and—
He felt his stomach drop, his steps quickening as Rin let out a gasp, both of their steps slowing.
Obito though—
He surged forward, heading over to the small figure slumped over Rin’s grave and knelt, brushing the snow that had started to gather away, frowning as he did so. “Bakashi.”
Minato let out a sigh. “What am I going to do with you, Kakashi?”
He made to reach for Kakashi, to pick him up, but Obito beat him to it, scooping the smaller shinobi into his arm, craddling him, frowning, then, “Sensei?”
“What is it?” Minato asked.
“He’s lighter than Rin,” Obito said. “He shouldn’t be lighter than her.”
“I’m aware,” Minato said bitterly, watching the looks of worry on Rin’s face grow while Obito looked like a typical apathetic teenager, though something made Minato want to think he was worried as well.
...
Minato left them in charge for a brief moment as there were things he needed to do, “Such as informing a certain clan head of your current change in status. I won’t be long. Promise.”
The chances of Kakashi waking in that time, according to the hospital staff, were supposed to be slim, or so they said, but—
“Want something to eat?”
Obito stiffened, realizing more time had passed than their Sensei intended. “Uh?” He swallowed, the thought of his child self becoming excited at the chance of having a meal with Rin crossing his mind, only to be brushed aside as silly. “Sure.”
Which left him alone.
With Kakashi.
And in the mess, he soon found himself, as Kakashi decided to wake up at the wrong moment, resulting in Obito stiffening in his chair, having turned around to see him sitting up, unfocused, at least in the one eye that was visible.
His head turned, and—
Obito let out a yelp, not expecting Kakashi to literally launch himself into his arms, burying his face into his chest, apologizing about—
He shifted slightly as Kakashi, in his obviously delirious state, kept apologizing for not keeping his promise of protecting Rin, saying he’d killed her.
Admitting that he’d told Rin how Obito felt as Obito stared, confused at his former teammate’s delirium. “And you?”
Kakashi shook his head, continuing to mutter.
“I mean, don’t you like Rin as well?” Obito asked, hoping—
“I abandoned her,” Kakashi said as Obito’s eye widened in shock. “I’m scum.”
“Kakashi?”
Kakashi startled at the sound of Rin’s voice and—
Obito felt him scramble away, going over the bed, crashing into the IV that he’d already pulled out of his arm, now that Obito noticed the dripping blood before crashing into the wall on the opposite side and sliding down, his breathing—
Quickly, Obito stood, hurrying to the other side to see Kakashi in a full-blown panic attack, struggling to breathe, clawing at his throat, not seeing him or anyway, as if—
Rin called out into the hallway. “Nurse!”
And Kakashi’s hands reached up to cover his ears as his entire body trembled.
Obito looked up at Rin, who looked as if she were about to cry from the way their friend reacted. “Because she likes him, and he acts this way?” Quickly, he knelt, reaching out for the smaller shinobi. “Kakashi, snap out of it.”
“Move!” someone on the medical staff called out.
Someone pulled him away before he could touch Kakashi, and he watched as they pushed the more petite teen back into the hospital bed, pulling out restraints.
...
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Minato said.
Obito squirmed, looking rather uncomfortable, hands behind his back as they stood outside Kakashi’s room, having been kicked out of there, the nurses not too pleased at the shock Kakashi received at having woken to find out his dead former teammates were actually alive.
Which of course they’d not had any problem with them being in there when they’d been okay with Obito and Rin staying when Minato thought he’d be getting back in time, yet things with Kushina and everything else got complicated,
“I’m already dealing with not being able to love on Kakashi,” Kushina complained. “And now I can’t dote on your two students who’ve returned from the dead.”
“You know why,” Minato said, having explained the memory of Madara lurking in Obito’s memories, of how, even though Obito had returned Rin, T&I couldn’t be sure where Obito’s loyalties lay, particularly when T&I made it quite clear that Rin had made it quite clear to Obito that she wasn’t his.
Which might explain the sudden sullen teenager act, given Rin completely rejected his romantic interest in her.
“What’s wrong with him?”
Minato’s eyes blinked. “It’s…”
“He hates himself,” Rin said, hands tucked behind her back, looking at the ceiling.
“Since when?” Obito asked, turning to her.
“Since he started following the rules,” Rin said, showing just how much she’d paid attention to both of her teammates without them realizing. “But it climaxed when you, when we thought. He blames himself. Hates what he did.”
“He should.”
“Obito!” Minato said, rubbing the back of his head.
“I mean,” Obito turned, his one eye finally showing a very Obito emotion there, and so not like the other Uchiha. “He should hate what he did. Not hate himself.”
“He’s got a lot of baggage, Obito,” Minato said. “But I told you what I did on that mission, remember?”
Obito straightened, then looked at Rin. She looked at Minato. “What?”
“Kakashi’s father?” Obito asked. “Do you know?”
“Yes.” Rin frowned. “He died before Kakashi graduated. Don’t you remember he stopped showing up to pick Kakashi up?”
Obito let out a humming sound, caught off guard. He turned to Minato. “But you said it was five years ago. That’s more like six!”
“And it was now nine years ago, and yet I’d be saying almost ten years ago, even though it would be off by an entire year,” Minato said. “It’s not a formal conversation.”
“I…” Obito’s eyes closed, letting out a sigh. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Minato said. “Kakashi’s always struggled with processing his emotions.”
Rin nodded her head in agreement, while Obito frowned, looking at his hands.
“That’s rather a foreign concept to you?” Minato asked.
Obito looked up. “Yes. I’ve always known how I feel and how to say it. Except…” He glanced over at Rin, frowning. He sighed, looking at his hands again. He opened and closed his fingers. “What does this mean?”
“I think we should avoid giving him scares like that, you think?” Minato said.
“Yeah,” Rin said, sounding disappointed.
Obito looked over at her. “Sure. I mean…”
And then he paused. Minato frowned, knowing Obito was hiding something, that there were certain emotions he didn’t like admitting to, despite claiming he was open. “Obito? What is it?”
Obito looked up. “He didn’t have the same reaction. I mean, to me, as he did Rin.”
Minato watched Rin look away, looking rather hurt. “Oh?”
Obiton winched, the muscles around his left eye socket scrunching slightly. “Can we not talk about it. It was instead, uh. Can we just not?”
Minato straightened. “Oh.” He thought about it. “So, Kakashi did something that seemed odd to you?”
Obito’s right eye widened in horror. Then, “He was very apologetic, but could we leave it at that?”
Rin frowned. “He was in Obito’s arms.”
Minato let out a groan, closing his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck before saying. “So sorry about that. I should have, I guess, warned you?”
“Warned me?” Obito spluttered out, his facial features starting to flush. “That was! What the hell was that!”
“Kakashi’s using Obito as an outlet for what happened to me.”
Minato’s eyes widened as Obito turned to look at her, his facial features twisting in horror. “Oh. I see.”
“You see?” Obito pointed at Rin. “She’s grinning, as if she’s enjoying this. She’s evil, I tell you.”
“I think Rin would rather Kakashi be hugging her, right Rin?” Minato teased.
Rin’s face turned beet red as Obito turned to look at her, glaring. “Sensei! Don’t tease me like that!”
“He’ll reciprocate eventually,” Minato said. “Just give him time, Rin.”
Obito let out a groan, rolling his eyes.
…
Obito didn’t want to give Kakashi time.
Despite orders otherwise, he snuck into Kakashi’s hospital room and waited.
Though he didn’t wait patiently and ended up pacing, waiting for Kakashi to wake again, ducking behind the patient curtains of the other bed whenever he heard one of the nurses coming.
Kakashi’s eyes eventually opened, and Obito walked over. He leaned over, taking in the somewhat dazed look on Kakashi’s face.
“Hey, Bakashi,” Obito said, waving.
Kakashi stared, then his eyes blinked, and—
“Wait? Are you trying to sniff me out?”
Kakashi’s eyes narrowed and—
“Hey! Don’t growl at me!” Obito glared back. “You’re not a dog!”
Kakashi looked away.
“It’s really me,” Obito said.
Kakashi tensed, still strapped down, then turned his head slightly. “Really? You’re really alive?”
Obito frowned, hearing a strain in Kakashi’s voice as if his throat were sore, as if—
He turned, adjusting the hospital bed so Kakashi was sitting up slightly, then grabbed the cup of water and held the straw to Kakashi’s mouth, only to have Kakashi scowl under his mask.
“Come on. Drink something.”
And then he remembered the mask.
So he tried to remove it.
Only—
“Did you just try to bite me?” Obito gasped out. He felt his mouth twist in irritation. “And to think. Moments ago, you were clinging to me like a little kid, bakashi.”
Kakashi’s eyes blinked, glancing at the restraints.
“Uh, no. Those are on for a reason, you know.”
Kakashi sighed, rolling his eyes. “Hospital mask on top. Bottom mask down. Then straw underneath.”
Obito sighed, thinking that it was a lot of work, yet he went and found a hospital mask and did as Kakashi commanded, letting him drink the water.
Kakashi finally let out a sigh and relaxed.
“Better?”
“Yes. I guess.”
Obito set the cup on the table. “So, uh. How to broach this.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you…”
“I promised. I promised to keep her safe,” Kakashi said, a repeat of before. “And I killed her.”
“You didn’t kill her,” Obito scoffed.
“Yes. I did. I’m sorry.”
Obito frowned. “Is this going to be, like, a thing, bakashi?”
Kakashi frowned, glaring at him.
Obito looked away, then sighed, pulling over a chair. “Hey? Be honest with me, will you?”
“I am,” Kakashi muttered, looking away. “I am sorry.”
“That’s not,” Obito started to say. “No. I want you to be honest with me regarding how you feel.”
This resulted in a groan and an eye roll.
“I mean about Rin. How do you feel…”
Kakashi turned to look at him, looking far from amused. “I abandoned her.” Obito stared. “ Remember ? I’m scum. Absolute scum.”
Obito thought over what he said. “She’s not dead.”
Kakashi flinched, stiffened up, pulled at his restraints as he looked around, letting out a slight panicked sound.
Obito leaned over, towering over him as he was a whole head taller. “Hey! Stop that!”
Kakashi—
“And don’t growl at me! You’re not a dog, remember!” Obito followed up by saying. “Do you want her to be mad at you? Because…”
That had an effect, with Kakashi entirely freezing, swallowing, and then he shook his head.
Obito stared, still hanging slightly over the bed, gripping both sides of the hospital bed rails. “ Didn ’t expect that to have that kind of effect. ” He followed up with, “She told me what happened.”
Kakashi looked away, not saying anything.
“She told me what she did.”
“I killed her.”
“Yeah, and we both know she’ll be pissed if either one of us insists on that, right?”
Kakashi didn’t respond at first, but then—
There came a head nod. “I’m going to ask again, bakashi. How do you feel about Rin?”
“I abandoned her. Remember. I’m scum. Absolute scum,” Kakashi repeated, not looking Obito in the eye.
Obito grimaced at the systematic manner in which Kakashi answered. His face twitched around where his eyes were located, or his eyes should be located, given that the left one was in Kakashi’s head instead of his own skull.
And then—
“You came back.” Because now that he figured out what Kakashi was saying, he had, at the end of the day, made the right decision.
Kakashi stiffened, then, looking at him said, “ You like her.”
“And?”
“I told her that.”
Obito stared. “Told her…” It clicked, his face turning red. “Wait! You did what?”
“I told her that you love her.”
Obito stared, mouth open. “You told her?”
“You obviously couldn’t.”
Obito stared. Well, we both know how that went.”
Kakashi’s eyes widened. “How?”
“What do you mean how?” Obito asked. “Rin…” He then paused, frowning, remembering. “Wait.”
“He sees me at yours. And I’m not yours.”
“What did you say to her bakashi?”
“That you love her?”
“After that?”
Kakashi paused, then said, “That I abandoned her. That I’m scum.”
Obito let out a groan. “ Why ? Why did you do that?”
“Because it’s true?”
“And so’s how you feel about her, no?”
Kakashi stiffened. Then, he relaxed. “I’m not going to come between you and Rin.”
“What?”
“I promised.”
“Say, what?”
“I’m going to keep that promise.”
“The hell you are!” Obito blurted out. “When did you even make that promise? Why did you even do that?”
Kakashi turned, so he faced Obito, speaking in a whisper as if he were telling the world’s biggest secret. “Because I can’t make her happy. You make her happy.”
Obito stared, looking at him. A part of him wanted to jump in joy, that Kakashi was so willing to let him have Rin, that Kakashi seemed to be making things so easy.
And yet—
“You already make her happy,” Obito reluctantly said.
Kakashi shook his head. “No.” He took a deep breath. “I only know how to hurt. To cause pain.”
“That’s not true,” Obito said. “And Rin’s right. She’s not mine. I honestly couldn’t put her happiness before my own as you can.” He watched Kakashi’s eyes blink in confusion. “Of course, you don’t seem to understand you’re the one who makes her happy.”
“I’m scum, Obito.”
Obito frowned, then reached out and ruffled Kakashi’s hair. “You remember what I said?”
“You’ve said lots of things.”
“I told you. I told you you’re a hero, and not to let anyone tell you otherwise. You’re not scum, so it’s okay to reciprocate Rin’s feelings.”
Kakashi shook his head, panic setting in.
“He hates himself.”
Obito remembered Rin saying that. “There’s no Rin and me. Understand?”
“Yes?” Kakashi said, as if he wasn’t sure bout that.
“I’ll help,” Obito said. “For Rin’s happiness, but also…” He let his mouth twist into a smile. “I’ll help you work on liking yourself, okay?”
He wished Kakashi hadn’t remained silent, that he had tried refuting the idea of hating himself, but—
It was there, definitely there. And unlike Rin, he’d been blind to it.
Obito held up his pinky finger, gently hooking it with Kakashi’s pinky as Kakashi was still restrained.
“That’s a promise from me, okay? And you’re to forget this promise of not getting between me and Rin, because there really is no me and Rin, got it?”
Kakashi nodded his head. Then, he closed his eyes, letting out a hum.
Obito felt—
He felt good about doing the right thing, even if giving up on Rin did in fact hurt.
“This time. This time I’m actually going to be a friend. To both of you.”